True Anon Truth Feed - [PREVIEW] Episode 40: Moronavirus
Aired: 2020-02-06
Duration: 04:55


=== Why Eyes Turn Green (01:25) ===

[00:00:00]  Big caucus energy, BCE.
[00:00:02]  A big cock in us energy.
[00:00:05]  We are having sex with the same anime figurine.
[00:00:08]  What?
[00:00:08]  Yeah, I shoved it.
[00:00:10]  That's why I'm bleeding.
[00:00:10]  Um.
[00:00:11]  Oh, my God.
[00:00:12]  Okay.
[00:00:12]  Shut it down.
[00:00:13]  This is, my name is Ricky Rectel, and you are here in Insert Hour.
[00:00:20]  Welcome to my ass nightmare.
[00:00:25]  You're not giving me any help.
[00:00:26]  I don't like, because I don't like any of it.
[00:00:28]  You know, I don't like any of it.
[00:00:29]  Here's the thing.
[00:00:29]  Here's the thing, Liz, that you never seem to understand.
[00:00:32]  If you don't like what I'm saying, you can interrupt me and I'll be too cowed to interrupt back.
[00:00:37]  You're always just looking at me with those piercing multicolored eyes, a lot of David Bowie.
[00:00:45]  I don't have that, but thank you for saying that.
[00:00:47]  One's blue and one's green.
[00:00:48]  That's not true.
[00:00:50]  Did you know that my eyes turn green when I hang out with my dad?
[00:00:53]  What?
[00:00:54]  Yeah, because he has green eyes and I have hazel eyes and mine like get more green when I hang out with my dad.
[00:00:58]  I'm sorry, listeners.
[00:01:00]  First of all.
[00:01:02]  They do.
[00:01:02]  This is not going to engender confidence in our medical reporting.
[00:01:07]  But this is another, because people are always like, women believe in magic, tarot cards, astrology.
[00:01:12]  Sure.
[00:01:12]  That is not the only sorcery that the female race adheres to.
[00:01:18]  Your eyes change colors.
[00:01:20]  Okay.
[00:01:20]  I think they get more green when I'm hanging out with my dad.
[00:01:22]  I think.
[00:01:23]  Which I think is a very sweet story.

=== Eyes That Turn Green (03:30) ===

[00:01:25]  I'll be honest with you.
[00:01:26]  I don't even know what hazel is.
[00:01:28]  Hazel is like green, brown-green.
[00:01:30]  Brown-green.
[00:01:31]  Green-brown.
[00:01:32]  It's like a mixture.
[00:01:33]  Okay, like green anarchism and fascism.
[00:01:35]  Oh my God.
[00:02:01]  Welcome, welcome.
[00:02:01]  Hey, Patreon.
[00:02:02]  Hello.
[00:02:03]  I was talking to the beautiful women that just entered the door.
[00:02:07]  Vanessa and Giselle.
[00:02:12]  Welcome to, this is my apartment, not Young Chompsie's apartment, and And thank you.
[00:02:20]  Oh, that was such a kind but tonguey kiss.
[00:02:24]  Briefs just faked a kiss again.
[00:02:27]  I know.
[00:02:27]  It's because that's how you kiss people where I'm from on the cheeks.
[00:02:30]  It's a fake kiss.
[00:02:31]  There are girls here.
[00:02:33]  Do not fucking do this to me.
[00:02:36]  Do not fucking do it.
[00:02:37]  I will fucking off myself.
[00:02:41]  Shall we get this show on the road?
[00:02:42]  Yeah, let's take this on the road.
[00:02:44]  Let's go to Des Moines.
[00:02:46]  No, actually, speaking of the road, we're going on the road.
[00:02:50]  Are we denouncing that right now?
[00:02:52]  We are.
[00:02:52]  Let's tell it to Patreon first.
[00:02:53]  Why not?
[00:02:54]  Yes.
[00:02:55]  Hello.
[00:02:56]  We are, we've got, we're so excited.
[00:02:58]  We're on two shows.
[00:02:59]  One in Brooklyn, New York, the home of podcasting.
[00:03:03]  Yep.
[00:03:05]  We're going into the belly of the beast.
[00:03:07]  We will be there at the Bell House on March 18th, 7.30 p.m.
[00:03:13]  Tickets are $15 available on the internet where all tickets are sold.
[00:03:17]  Yep.
[00:03:18]  But find that link somewhere on the Patreon page on our Twitter.
[00:03:25]  Second show.
[00:03:26]  Second show, Philadelphia.
[00:03:28]  We are playing Within the Liberty Bell.
[00:03:30]  Yes.
[00:03:30]  Also known as Johnny Brenda's in Fishtown.
[00:03:36]  What?
[00:03:37]  Which is also $15.
[00:03:40]  8 p.m. show.
[00:03:41]  Wait, Fishtown?
[00:03:43]  Yeah, that's the neighborhood.
[00:03:45]  Young Chelsea, can I get a, is this true?
[00:03:47]  Yeah.
[00:03:48]  They call them the River Wards.
[00:03:50]  What the fuck is wrong with...
[00:03:52]  What?
[00:03:53]  Don't Fishtown?
[00:03:55]  Oh, my God.
[00:03:56]  Okay.
[00:03:56]  So again, listeners, two shows.
[00:03:58]  We're so excited.
[00:03:59]  East Coast.
[00:04:00]  Hey, my girlfriend lives in Fishtown.
[00:04:01]  I'm going over to get some pussy.
[00:04:03]  Do you see how fucked up that sentence sounds?
[00:04:05]  Let me just get through this bit, okay?
[00:04:07]  Okay, get through the bit.
[00:04:08]  Okay, saying it again.
[00:04:09]  I'm texting you this.
[00:04:10]  Two shows.
[00:04:12]  Brooklyn, Philly, Brooklyn.
[00:04:15]  The Bell House, March 18th.
[00:04:18]  It's a Wednesday, 7.30 p.m.
[00:04:20]  And Philadelphia, Johnny Brenda's, Sunday, March 22nd at 8 p.m.
[00:04:27]  It's like saying the meat packing district.
[00:04:29]  That sounds cooler because it sounds like an 80s gay thing.
[00:04:32]  Liz, check your text.
[00:04:34]  Real quick.
[00:04:35]  Oh, my phone's over there.
[00:04:36]  I don't know.
[00:04:36]  Okay, I will read your, well, I look at your text all the time anyways.
[00:04:39]  This is what I sent you.
[00:04:40]  It says, eating fat pussy in Fishtown.
[00:04:44]  Can you see how absurd this sentence sounds?
[00:04:47]  Only because it's coming from you.
[00:04:48]  Yeah, well, because I don't do that.
[00:04:51]  That was my point.
[00:04:52]  That's how you get coronavirus.
[00:04:54]  Oh, boy.
[00:04:55]  That's not true.