[PREVIEW] Episode 34: Douche Bank kicks off with a Patreon shoutout and a blonde/redhead co-host joke before pivoting to economics, teasing Alexandra Skax’s Fed interview and a "vocal fry" segment on abolishing the Federal Reserve. The host role-plays as Liz breaking down finance basics, then shifts to a darkly comedic take on banker suicides—claiming 45% of wealth managers and risk assessors (but not tellers) "off themselves," framed as a metaphor for stress—before circling back to the Fed’s absurdity. [Automatically generated summary]
Yeah, Liz doesn't know about it because I don't give her access to the accounts.
But subscribers, I've had a really good time with you and Vanessa and Noelle and all my other female co-hosts.
Blondes, redheads, no brunettes.
And it's been a blast, but unfortunately, we're back to normal.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
She looks so sad.
And just.
What if I just cried right now?
I cannot think of a time we've hung out that you haven't cried.
From laughter.
Yeah.
Be like, it's so funny that you call me that phrase.
It's so funny.
Greetings.
Welcome to Truan.
What he said.
We are.
We're talking money today.
We're getting into the big bucks.
Money talk with Chris Hayes.
Hardball.
Chris Hayes.
Chris Kaliza.
Whatever.
We're all named Chris.
Yeah.
We're talking money.
We're talking money.
We got Hot Lady Money reporter on.
Alexandra Skax.
We're going to be talking to her in a bit about what is going on with the Fed.
Uh-huh.
Are we at it?
Listen, if you've ever wanted to hear two women with vocal fry talk about ending the Fed, tonight's your lucky night.
But before we get to that, I will say that a bunch of people have asked us to get into some more fun little economic, political stuff.
Some hijinks.
Yeah, so we're going to try and do some of that today.
I just want to give a little background on this.
I hang out with Liz fairly often, unfortunately.
I've don't, I tend to be kind of a lone wolf cruising the streets at night, cruising parks at night.
Also, sometimes cruising, you know, parked cars.
Yeah.
Anyways, but whenever I hang out with Liz, she starts fucking yapping about bullshit I don't understand.
One thing, derivatives, don't know what those are.
Another thing, literally don't understand what the Fed is.
A third thing is the central bank.
And fourth thing, et cetera.
You know where I'm going with this.
So today we are doing a little role play where the podcast, me and Liz, are Liz and the audience, all of you out there, are me.
Yeah.
We, yeah, I think it'll be fun.
I mean, I do really love this stuff.
And to be clear, this isn't some like boring planet money, money splane.
This is Truanon.
This is lady money.
So you know we got to start off with suicide.
So if you work for a bank, there is about a 45% chance that you're going to kill yourself if you
work there right now.
Not if you work at a bank, like if you're a teller or if you're just a low-level account manager.
Money shoveler.
Watch Your Back00:01:06
Just no.
Then you're fine.
Go ahead.
Make your money.
Go home.
Have sex with your wife.
If your name's Laura, think about changing your name to Lauren Dukat, which would be a more money-centric Lauren name, but would also be a pun on my ex-girlfriend, Lauren Duca.
But if you are the head of, let's say, wealth management, risk assessment, or the securities division, you might want to watch your back.
Yeah.
Well, actually, watching your back won't really help either.
Watch your back.
Watch your back.
Okay, I don't know saying it differently will change my life.
I said wash.
No, don't wash your back.
It's like, what?
Well, I mean, we're talking about Italians here in some cases, so generally can't get to their back through the hair.
All right.
Let's just get to the chase.
So there's been a string of banker suicides.
And before you get too horny, actually, no, that's good.
Are we against this or for this?
I just realized usually we're talking about crimes, but I'm like, that kind of, this is all.
Well, we're going to use suicide in quotation marks, right?