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July 8, 2025 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
05:35
How to Get a Girlfriend in Your 30s
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And I was saying this on X Today.
That if you get early, mid-20s without a girlfriend, what do you signal to a woman?
What is it like to be, because what are women looking for?
What is it like to be on the receiving end of a guy who's 24, 25, never had a girlfriend?
Well, first of all, she's going to assume that you're a pornography addict, right?
And she probably is right.
Not always, but probably.
But she's also going to say, okay, so Bro has had like seven, eight, nine years to get a girlfriend.
He's been unable to get a girlfriend.
Either all the women are saying no, and if all the girls and women say no, well, there's probably a reason, or he lacks that elemental courage to just ask girls out, get knocked down, get back up again, ask some other girl out, get knocked down.
I mean, God, go learn from our Arab friends, right?
So it's really tough.
It's really tough to get, because women are looking for courage, right?
They're looking for courage.
I mean, instinctually, they're looking for courage, assertiveness.
They're looking for directness.
They're looking for maybe even a certain level of aggression because you had to historically fight with other men for the resources.
And she's not going to want to mate with a guy who doesn't display any particular signs of courage and directness.
And I see something, I go for it.
If I get it or not, it's not as important as the fact that I saw it and went for it.
So you don't have a long time.
You don't have a long time.
The quality women are getting snapped up left, right, and center, of course, right?
And from, I don't know, when people start dating, 16, 15, 16, 17, you've got eight years, nine years.
And this is not an absolute rule.
There's exceptions and so on.
But you don't have as long as you think you do.
And it's not a straight line and then a drop-off, right?
You have sort of fairly significant sexual market value when you're young, late teens, right?
For men too and women, right?
And then it goes down.
It doesn't just and then pop doesn't drop off a cliff.
It goes down.
Every day you don't ask a girl out and get her to at least get on a date at some possibility.
Every day you don't do that, your sexual market value declines.
Every cigarette you smoke increases your risk of cancer.
And every day you let go by without talking to a girl, asking a girl out, doing the manly business of continuing the line and falling in love and having children and a legacy and people to take care of you when you're old.
Every day you don't do that, your sexual market value diminishes.
I'm just being straight up with you.
I want to help.
I want you to panic a little bit.
I want you to panic.
And again, it's not an absolute hard and fast rule.
There's exceptions, but don't count on being the exceptions.
That's like not saving for your retirement saying, I'll just play the lottery.
There are exceptions, but don't plan on them.
Grandma Moses became a famous artist later on.
*Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh*
And it doesn't guarantee, of course, that you're going to get the love of your life, but it's guaranteed that you won't if you don't try anything.
That I guarantee you.
If you don't try anything, you get nothing.
And I'll tell you the last thing the devil does, and I'll make sure I get you your questions.
So the last thing the devil does is when it's beyond fixing, he lifts the veil.
It's also called a midlife crisis or perpetual regret.
When it is beyond fixing, the devil will lift the veil and regret will come pouring in.
Ah, shit, I should have.
Come on.
There's literally a meme for this or a trope for this, and it's way older than memes and tropes, but the one that got away.
Don't you have if you're a man, some girl, a woman, if you're a woman, some boy or man.
I should have.
I wonder if I let her get away.
It'll slip through my fingers.
I mean, I've got tons of messages over the years from the guys who are like, man, she was flirting with me.
I didn't even realize it.
She kept hanging around and laughing and touching her hair.
She touched me on the knee.
She asked me to start a fire for her when we were camping.
And I was just like, okay, I'll go get the wood.
And I sympathize because, you know, we're not raised well.
I sympathize.
But don't be, you know, it's a long life to have regret in, man.
It is a long life to have regret in.
And you may even curse the longevity of life if you have too much regret.
I don't regret the things I've done.
In general, people regret the things they don't do.
Regret is not for what you've done.
In general, regret is for what you haven't done.
All right, so let me get to your questions and comments.
All right.
Hi, Steph.
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