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Oct. 30, 2023 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux

02:18:49

THE DEATH OF MATTHEW PERRY!

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	Yeah, let's start it off.
	It's Matthew Perry. He just died last night.
	It was a bit of a shock.
	You know, when you're younger, you think of that phase in your life where the people from your youth are going to die.
	And he died. Matthew Perry, I guess a famous actor, most known, of course, for his role as Chandler on Cheers.
	And I happened to listen to his autobiography a month or two ago.
	And it's really, really tragic.
	He had a wretched life and died in a wretched manner, and we will get to all of that.
	And I'm sorry for the person who's celebrating.
	Hey, you know, as some life goes out, other life comes in.
	As some life goes out, other life comes in.
	But thank you for keeping my boring night occupied.
	Always happy. Always happy to slip in and milk the old boredom.
	All right. Question.
	Hi, Steph. Whenever this kind of celebrity death occurs, my mind always repeats the phrase, people only like you when you're dead.
	It always seems that people shower praise upon the dead that they wouldn't offer to the same person if they were living.
	I first came to this conclusion when Gord Downey...
	I've been tragically hip, died.
	I never even heard his name until he'd gotten sick, but suddenly everyone was singing his praises.
	What does philosophy have to say about this?
	It's a fine question.
	Have you noticed this? Have you noticed this as a whole, that when people die...
	Well, I'm not sure when I die that people will be singing my praises all from start to end and top to bottom.
	But I can tell you why, if you like.
	Why people sing the praises of those who have died.
	We will be doing a little bit of that tonight.
	Well, I really did shave with a shotgun, didn't I? Well, so the reason why people sing the praises of those who have died is it's superstition.
	It's superstition because people are concerned that the dead will haunt them if they speak ill.
	Have you not heard of...
	Don't speak ill of the dead.
	It's too soon. They just died.
	You can't criticize the dead.
	And do you know why this exists?
	I mean, okay, we could say, well, it's because of fearing haunting, but why?
	Yeah. Or you guys are too smart.
	They secretly hope they'll also get the same treatment if they did bad things.
	Right. So the reason you don't speak ill of the dead is so those who aren't dead yet can continue to be assholes knowing that you won't be honest about them after they die.
	Because after you die, you get the summation.
	So do you know when, if you've had a bad relationship with someone, you get pretty angry when they die?
	Have you ever heard of this? You feel bitter, you feel angry.
	If you've had a bad relationship with someone and they die, and obviously if the relationship has continued to be bad, you get angry.
	Do you know why you get angry if that happens, if that occurs?
	Why do you get angry at someone?
	You had a bad relationship and they just up and die.
	What's the problem with that? Yeah, they never made it right.
	So, you know, my father was old.
	He was sick, I assume, for a while.
	He died. He didn't contact.
	He didn't call. He didn't try to make amends.
	And so, when someone dies, you can judge their life entire, right?
	Because There's no amends coming.
	There's nothing better. They're never going to turn around.
	It's never going to get better. And so the desire to evaluate reaches its peak when someone has just died.
	And of course, people can judge me all they want when I'm dead.
	I'll be long beyond caring.
	So people can judge me all they want.
	I mean, they judge me all they want when I'm alive.
	It's just the way of the world.
	So when someone dies...
	There's a rush to speak positively of them as a way of warding off people who've done bad things from being talked about badly after they die.
	Somebody says, I do find it hard to reconcile that the other week my Facebook feed was relatively silent On the over a thousand Israelis actively being murdered in the most horrific ways.
	Israelis? I mean, yes, I suppose.
	But remember, 20% of Israel is Muslim, so you mean Jews, right?
	Yet I must have spotted at least 20 separate posts, mostly from female friends from high school, on Matthew Perry's death.
	I guess there's something about a familiar face that resonates and can create an artificial bond.
	Yes. Celebrities are powerful.
	Celebrities are powerful.
	And anybody who says otherwise has never looked at the magazines at a checkout stand.
	Celebrities are incredibly powerful.
	People get obsessed with celebrities.
	People have entire relationships with celebrities.
	They're very important to people because...
	They are simulated relationships.
	Celebrities are to women as porn is to men.
	It's just a simulated relationship that often crowds out real stuff.
	All right. If you have any other questions before I dive in, I'm here for you.
	If you would like to tip, I would hugely...
	Seeing celebrities I knew dying off makes me feel old.
	Well, how about listening to Sting complain about his hearing aid?
	Boy, boy.
	Well, you know what? It's good to feel old.
	It's really, really good to feel old.
	Because that way you can weigh your time and what you do with it.
	Well, you can weigh your time and what you do with it.
	Well, don't be surprised by suddenly getting real old.
	Don't let that happen to you.
	You've got to do a managed landing to death, right?
	You don't want to drop off the cliff that way.
	You want to get a managed landing to death.
	But I'm telling you as well, this show or this conversation, this is going to sting.
	This is going to sting a little.
	This is going to be a bit of a shiv through the ribs, just so you know.
	Because when I was thinking of it, it stung me a little, or more than a little, and I'm a fairly decent proxy for what goes on for you, so just letting you know, you might not want to be driving.
	This is going to sting a little.
	Tear that band-aid off.
	Yes, that's a good idea.
	That's a good idea. All right, hit me with the Y if you're ready to be binged.
	Are you ready to be big? All right.
	Looks like we are. So, a little bit about Matthew Perry.
	He was a Canadian kid, and he was born from two very beautiful parents.
	He continually talked about how His parents were so beautiful.
	His father was a singer in a mama's and papa's style country group or folk group, and his mother was some sort of low-rent beauty queen, and they were drawn together through vanity, I assume, through beauty and all of that kind of stuff.
	If you have a question and a tip, I'll do it.
	I'll get to your question.
	Now, his parents got together when they met, I think, at a university or something like that.
	And again, it's all just basic vanity stuff.
	There wasn't any particular virtues that were occurring among his parents.
	And let me just make sure I'm on the right page here.
	And his parents, when he was a baby, he was colicky.
	He had, apparently, some sort of food or digestion disorder.
	And I've known parents with this. Have you ever known parents who, like, they can't figure out why their kid's crying?
	It turns out their kid has some sort of allergy or some sort of disorder of the bowels or the stomach or the intestines.
	Oh, you've had that? Yeah, okay.
	So, you know, it's tough. It's tough.
	And so they took their—this was in the 60s, of course— He's 69?
	I'm 57, he died at 54, so three years younger.
	I'm a 66, so 69, I assume.
	Your own son had a dairy allergy.
	Right, so what you need to do is not cover up the crying because the crying is really, really important, right?
	So, oh, you turned out to be egg.
	We barely slept for eight months.
	Oh, it's tough, right? It's tough.
	Okay, so in the late 60s, When Matthew Perry's parents took him to see a doctor, because he was crying and not sleeping very well, what did the doctor prescribe?
	Any questions or guesses as to what the doctor prescribed for a baby who was crying a lot?
	Yes. Heavy barbiturates, I think it was.
	Heavy barbiturates.
	And that's a whiskey, yeah.
	Well, you want to read or watch Long Day's Journey into Night for the whiskey baby thing.
	So heavy barbiturates to the point where this baby who couldn't sleep because he was in genuine pain, they'd give him this heavy barbiturates and he literally, his head would sag and he'd just fall over.
	And Matthew Perry said that his father found this Hilarious.
	His father found this hilarious.
	Now, Matthew Perry in his autobiography...
	He says that he did not blame his parents for this, for drugging him as a baby at a couple of weeks of age with heavy barbiturates, even though, oh man, hit me with a Y if you've ever had insomnia.
	Hit me with a Y if you've ever had insomnia.
	Now, you know sleep deprivation is how you psychologically break people down and torture them, right?
	So, Matthew Perry says, I guess because during the time that he was prescribed these heavy drugs as a baby is the time when your brain develops and learns how to sleep, right?
	It is incredibly dangerous for an infant, no question, right?
	So, the time when Matthew Perry was supposed to be learning how to sleep properly, he was heavily drugged and this development phase probably passed him by...
	And so he says, his entire life, he's never slept more than four hours at a time.
	Now, I mean, there are some people who can get by on a little sleep.
	I think Bill Clinton was famously one of them.
	I assume that Elon Musk is another.
	But insomnia has been a huge issue for him, and it, of course, also was a huge issue for Michael Jackson.
	And a lot of people who are drug addicts are trying to self-medicate insomnia, if that makes sense.
	In my opinion, I sort of read this a fair amount.
	A fair amount. So that's just something to...
	Oh, Margaret Thatcher did only about five hours a night?
	Yeah. That's very, very cool.
	Very cool. So...
	His parents split up before he was a year old.
	Matthew Perry's parents split up.
	And he was told when he was little that his father was just going to go to work.
	And his father went to work.
	Turns out he was living, I think, in Ottawa or someplace in Canada, in Ontario.
	And his father went to work because his father wanted to milk his good looks and pursue an acting career.
	In Los Angeles.
	So Matthew Perry's father went and he said, I waited for my dad to come home.
	I waited the next day.
	I waited a week. I waited a month.
	After about six weeks, I realized he wasn't coming back.
	He wasn't coming back.
	So that was not great at all.
	I just want to get up on your comments.
	I had a friend whose mother thought that if she didn't let her nap as a baby including as a newborn that it would help her sleep better at night.
	It didn't work and she still has terrible sleep issues.
	Oh, if you didn't let her nap as a baby but help her sleep better at night?
	No, no, no. You've got to learn how to nap.
	You've got to learn how to sleep as a baby.
	I mean, I've said this forever and ever, amen, that babies do need to learn how to self-soothe and sleep as babies because the studies are very clear that if babies have sleep issues that aren't resolved, they still have sleep issues into their 20s, and a life where you can't sleep is kind of tortuous, right?
	Drug-induced sleep isn't really sleep.
	No, no, they just knocked him out. They're just knocked out.
	Their brains are growing so much they need those naps.
	Well, they need their naps, but you need to be able to lie down when you're tired and go to sleep.
	Right? You need to be able to lie down when you're tired and go to sleep.
	Anyway. So, Matthew Perry's mother, her name was Suzanne, and she became the Alice and Janney character from the West Wing like a press secretary.
	She was the press secretary for noted hard leftist prime minister of Canada, Pierre Trudeau.
	And his mother, of course, was very attractive.
	Pierre Trudeau dated everyone and their dog.
	And was a heavy, I would say, socialist, drifting in the neighborhood of communism.
	He dated Barbara Streisand, King Cottrell, Marco Kidder, and just about everything and everyone.
	And so his mother became the press secretary for Pierre Trudeau.
	Now, Pierre Trudeau, of course, you know, prime minister and a lawyer and famous ladies' man and very busy and all the time.
	And so I want you to listen to what a little bit of what Matthew Perry says.
	He says, I was left to compete with the ongoing concerns of a major Western democracy and
	its charismatic swordsman leader.
	Swordsman means penis, right?
	If I wanted a little attention, I was left to compete with the ongoing concerns of a
	major Western democracy and its charismatic swordsman leader if I wanted a little attention.
	I believe the phrase at the time was latchkey kid, a bland term for being left fucking alone.
	you Accordingly, I learned to be funny, pratfalls, quick one-liners, you know the drill, because I had to be.
	My mother was stressed by her stressful job, and already highly emotional and abandoned, And me being funny tended to calm her down enough that she would cook some food, sit down at the dinner table with me, and hear me out, after I heard her out, of course.
	Does that make sense? Now, I want you to hear this again.
	I'm sorry to be repetitive. I know you're a smart audience.
	I really apologize for this.
	It's so important again. I learned to be funny because I had to be.
	If he wasn't funny, he got no food.
	This is all of a twist.
	This is Charles Dickens' territory.
	Do you think? I mean, this is the funny thing.
	And this is all the way back to my truth about Robin Williams.
	Do you think people develop intense skills and abilities because they want to?
	I don't mean to laugh.
	I don't mean to laugh. Do you think that I learned how to think so rigorously because I wanted to?
	I'm sorry, don't be laughed.
	It's not funny, but it's not a choice.
	It's like some kid, like there's a story of this girl, like a 12-year-old girl or 13-year-old girl, and she crashed in a plane, and she was the only survivor, and she survived like a week in the Amazonian forest.
	And it's like, wow, you must have really enjoyed hunting.
	You must have really enjoyed learning how to sleep in a tree.
	Wow, what a great hobby.
	It's like, it's not hobby, it's survival!
	It's not hobby, it's survival.
	I learned to be funny because I had to be.
	So she would cook some food.
	Yeah, Robin Williams had a depressed mother.
	You understand, most skills are CPR. Most skills are life-saving emergencies.
	Necessity is the mother of invention.
	And neglect is the handmaiden of talent.
	When you see people who are really good at something, you see an emergency, like a big giant goth shadow behind them.
	Being gloomy around kids is such an ugly thing, I wouldn't even do it around adults.
	There's nothing wrong with being gloomy around kids.
	You just can't be gloomy and self-absorbed.
	If you're gloomy, you've got to talk to your kids, right?
	So that they don't think that it's their fault.
	They don't think that it's their issue.
	They don't think that it's caused by them.
	And honestly, if you've watched Friends, do you not get a sense of desperation off Matthew Perry's character?
	No. And they talk about this.
	You know, he makes jokes because he's awkward.
	He makes jokes because he's not comfortable in his own skin.
	He makes jokes out of desperation.
	So he says, but I'm not blaming my mother for working.
	Someone had to bring home the bacon.
	It just meant I spent a great deal of time alone.
	So he was an only kid. In fact, when he heard the word only kid, he referred to himself.
	People said, do you have any brothers and sisters?
	And he would say, no, I'm a lonely kid.
	I'm a lonely kid. Because he thought that's what only kid was, right?
	He thought only kid was lonely kid for obvious reasons, right?
	He lost part of his finger When I was in kindergarten, some dim kid slammed the door in my hand, and after the great sparkles of blood stopped arcing up like fireworks, someone brought a thought to bandage me up and take me to the hospital.
	He lost the tip of his middle finger.
	Now, he said, my mother was called and sped to the hospital.
	She came in sobbing, understandably, and found me standing on a gurney with a gigantic bandage on my hand.
	Before she could say anything, I said, you don't need to cry.
	I didn't cry.
	Oof. Oof.
	He's three years old.
	He's just lost part of his finger.
	The pain that he was in would have been astonishing, right?
	His mother comes in and he says, you don't need to cry.
	I didn't cry. I didn't cry. I didn't cry.
	He says, there I was already, the performer, the people pleaser.
	Even at three years old, I'd learned I'd have to be the man of the house.
	I'd have to take care of my mother, even though my finger had just been sliced off.
	I guess I'd learned at 30 days old that if I cried, I'd get knocked out, so I'd better not cry!
	Or I knew I had to make sure everyone, including my mother, felt safe and okay.
	He was sent on a plane when he was very young.
	Well, so was I, back when you could be an unaccompanied minor.
	And actually, the original title, one of the working titles for Matthew Perry's autobiography was Unaccompanied Minor.
	Because he was lonely. So he says, when he and his mother went to go and live with the grandparents, His dad left.
	And his mother said, don't worry, he's just going to work, Matt, so he'll be back.
	Come on, little chum, Grandpa would have said.
	Let's go find Nanny. She's made your favorite paschetti for dinner.
	Every parent goes off to work.
	They always come back.
	It's just a normal way of things.
	Nothing to worry about. Nothing that would bring on a colic attack or addiction or a lifetime of feeling abandoned or that I'm not enough or a continual lack of comfort or a desperate need for love or that I didn't matter.
	My father sped away to God knows where.
	He didn't come back from work that first day, nor the second.
	I was hoping he'd be home after three days, then maybe a week, then maybe a month, but after about six weeks, I stopped hoping.
	I was too young to understand where California was or what it meant to go follow his dream of being an actor.
	and what the fuck is an actor? And where the fuck is my dad?
	Now, this is painful.
	This is painful, right?
	In my view, well, how can someone just leave their son?
	Well, he's divorced and he wants to go and be an actor.
	My father wanted to go and be a geologist in Africa, right?
	Do you think that this causes addiction?
	This is not a trick question.
	I'm genuinely curious. I'm not like, ooh, it's not a rug-pulling exercise here.
	And, you know, not that I'll ever see this, but my heart does go out to the Perry family.
	Do you think that this causes addiction, this loneliness, isolation, abandonment, pain, drugging?
	Do you think this causes addiction?
	Gabor Maté says, yes.
	I obviously should listen to Gabor Maté maybe more than me, but I don't think so.
	Because that's causal. That's causal that takes away free will.
	And again, I don't want to be overly ideological, right?
	Was Matthew Perry mistreated by his parents?
	Well, he was drugged.
	And why was he crying?
	He could have been crying because the parents were about to divorce, right?
	So he was drugged.
	His parents were fighting all the time.
	He was abandoned. He was dropped in daycare.
	His mother was a workaholic.
	His father left and no one told him what was going on.
	So... Does he have reasons to be angry at how he was treated as a baby, a toddler, and a small child?
	Right. I don't believe...
	This is just my amateur opinion.
	I've got no reason for you to believe anything I'm saying.
	I'm just making an airy-fairy case, all right?
	But this is what I truly believe, which doesn't mean that it's true.
	It is not the suffering that causes the addiction.
	It's the false forgiveness that causes the addiction.
	It's the excessive, quote, understanding and sympathy and empathy that causes the addiction.
	It's the false forgiveness that causes the addiction.
	It's not holding anyone to account.
	It's not holding anyone responsible.
	Bad things happened!
	Well, no, that's a lie.
	You were abused. You were neglected.
	You were mistreated. You were abandoned.
	You were drugged. And his father was a real drinker.
	It's the false forgiveness.
	Now, what does he say?
	He said, my dad, who later in life became a wonderful father,
	was leaving his baby alone with a 21-year-old woman he knew who was way too young to parent a child on her own.
	My mother is wonderful and emotional, and she was just too young.
	She, like me, had been abandoned too, right there in the parking lot
	of the border crossing between the U.S. and Canada.
	My mother had gotten pregnant when she was 20 years old, and by the time she was 21 and a new mother, she was single.
	If I had had a baby at 21, I would have tried to drink it.
	She did her best, and that says a lot about her, but still, she simply wasn't ready for the responsibility.
	And I wasn't ready to deal with anything, just being born and all.
	Mom and I were both abandoned, in fact, before we'd even gotten to know each other.
	With that gone, I quickly understood that I had a role to play at home.
	My job was to entertain, to cajole, to delight, to make others laugh, to soothe, to please, to be the fool to the entire court.
	It's not the suffering that causes the addiction.
	It's the... Refusal to process the anger.
	The anger is a self-defense against the addiction, and if you won't process the anger, you're helpless against the recreation, in my view.
	In my view. Sorry to jump around a bit.
	I don't have everything in sequence here.
	He says, around my ninth month of life, my parents decided they'd had enough of each other, stashed me in a car seat in Williamstown, and the three of us drove to the Canadian border.
	Five and a half hours. I can just imagine the silence of that car ride.
	I didn't speak, of course, and the two former lovebirds in the front seat had enough of speaking to each other, and yet that silence must have been deafening.
	Some major shit was going down.
	I'm told, my father took me out of my car seat, handed me into my grandmother's arms, and with that, he quietly abandoned me and my mother.
	Oh, they just have decided they'd had enough of each other.
	It's like, you don't have that option, particularly when you've decided to have a child.
	They didn't work it out, but he doesn't blame anything, right?
	Phenobarbital at 30 days of age.
	age.
	you you
	But he says, well, but it wasn't that rare in the 1960s to slip the parents of a colicky child a major barbiturate.
	Some older doctors swore by it.
	And by it, I mean, quote, prescribing a major barbiturate for a child that's barely born who won't stop crying.
	I want to be very clear on this point, says Matthew Perry, the late Matthew Perry.
	I want to be very clear on this point.
	I do not blame my parents for this.
	I do not blame my parents for this.
	He said, I'm told I took phenobarbital.
	Okay, you didn't take it.
	During the second month of my life, between the ages of 30 and 60 days, this is an important time in a baby's development, especially when it comes to sleeping.
	sleeping 50 years later I still don't sleep well.
	Now what was his major addiction later to some degree was barbiturates, right?
	Thank you.
	Now he says, once the barbiturate was on board, I would just conk out.
	Apparently I'd be crying and the drug would hit.
	I'd be knocked out. And this would cause my father to erupt in laughter.
	He wasn't being cruel.
	Stoned babies are funny.
	Doesn't that hurt your soul to hear?
	Stoned babies are funny?
	Isn't that... that's horrible.
	I'm not sure if that's a good thing.
	you you
	Ironically, he says, barbiturates and I have had a very strange relationship over the years.
	People would be surprised to know that I've mostly been sober since 2001, save for about 60 or 70 little mishaps over the years.
	When these mishaps occur, if you want to be sober, which I always did, you'd be given drugs to help you along.
	What drug, you may ask?
	You guessed it. Phenobarbital.
	Phenobarbital. So his father found it funny.
	That his baby was passing out from drugs.
	He says, despite the comfort of my situation as an adult, I still spent many sleepless nights in Southern California.
	Sleep is a real issue for me, especially when I'm in one of these places.
	That said, I don't think I've ever slept for more than four hours straight in my entire life.
	All right.
	Let's do one or two more.
	Now.
	Now.
	He said, and he's been in therapy, he was in therapy for decades.
	He said, by this point I knew more about drug addiction and alcoholism than any of the coaches and most of the doctors
	I encountered at these rehab facilities.
	He's 49 years old.
	Unfortunately, such self-knowledge avails you nothing.
	If the golden ticket to sobriety involved hard work and learned information, this beast would be nothing but a faint, unpleasant memory.
	To simply stay alive, I had turned myself into a professional patient.
	Let's not sugarcoat it.
	At 49, tell me if you relate to this at all.
	At 49, I was still afraid to be alone.
	Left alone, my crazy brain, crazy only in this area, by the way, would find some excuse to do the unthinkable drink and drugs.
	In the face of decades of my life having been ruined by doing this, I'm terrified of doing it again.
	I have no fear of talking in front of 20,000 people, but put me alone on my couch in front of a TV for the night and I get scared.
	And that fear is of my own mind, fear of my own thoughts, fear that my mind will urge me to turn to drugs, as it has so many times before.
	My mind is out to kill me, and I know it.
	I'm constantly filled with a lurking loneliness, a yearning, clinging to the notion that something outside of me will fix me.
	But I had had all that the outside had to offer.
	Matt's parents and stepdad found his body.
	I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true.
	My understanding is that he played two hours of pickleball yesterday morning.
	He got home. He sent his assistant out to get new prescriptions for his glasses and to get him a new iPhone.
	His assistant came back home and found Matthew Perry in the hot tub.
	And the assistant called 911.
	The paramedics showed up.
	There were no illicit drugs.
	But there was apparently a heart failure.
	People are saying he drowned. My understanding, this may change over time of course, but my understanding is that he'd
	had heart failure and of course he died from heart failure and then slid into the water.
	He says my grandfather, the wonderful Alton L. Perry, grew up around an alcoholic father and as a result he never
	touched a drink in his life.
	All 96 long, wonderful years of it.
	So there's your free will, right?
	Why am I a drunk?
	Because my father drank. Why do I never touch alcohol?
	Because my father drank. Well, Sux's parents outlived him.
	Right. Right. Are you ready for the part that hurts?
	Are you ready?
	Won't hurt you that much if you're young.
	It might hurt you. Oh, no.
	This is hurting from observation to experience, from the outside to the inside.
	All right. What do you think Matthew Perry...
	What do you think Matthew Perry's father thinks today of his desire to go off to L.A. and be an actor when Matthew Perry was a baby?
	What do you think he thinks of abandoning his family to pursue his dreams?
	What do you think he thinks of that today?
	No, it is not nothing.
	It is not nothing. He doesn't think about it at all?
	No, I don't believe that's true.
	Let me ask you this. I know that you guys are cynical, and maybe you're right, cynical about.
	People, though, they just don't care.
	Have you never lifted the lid off someone's selfishness and seen what's underneath?
	Have you ever peeled back the layers and seen what's underneath that level of selfishness?
	you you
	Once. I've seen it twice in my life.
	It's beyond appalling.
	It's beyond terrifying. It's beyond terrible.
	It is literally looking into the bowels of hell itself.
	How do you peel that layer off?
	Persistence, curiosity. No, it's not emptiness.
	It's not emptiness. It's unbelievable levels of pain.
	I don't believe you can connect this as someone too narcissistic.
	No.
	Everybody who's unwell has a relationship to health.
	Everybody who's selfish has a relationship to selflessness.
	Everybody who's greedy has a relationship to generosity.
	Everybody who's ugly has a relationship to beauty.
	Everybody who's evil has a relationship to good.
	And if you measure that and you give them a sense of the distance they've drifted from what they wanted, It's brutal when people get a sense of how far they've drifted from what they wanted, how far they've drifted from what they dreamed of, how far they've drifted from what they thought their life would be or could be.
	I mean, do you know what Matthew Perry's father was known for?
	He was a singer and an actor and went to Los Angeles.
	And do you know what Matthew Perry's father was famous for?
	What his big claim to fame was?
	He starred as a sailor in some Old Spice commercials.
	And when Matthew Perry decided he wanted to be an actor, do you know what his father said?
	There's another generation ruined.
	Aren't commercials the entry level stuff for actors?
	Yeah. Yes, they are.
	And he never had much of a career.
	Now, I'm sure that Matthew Perry's mother was really, really excited to be Pierre Trudeau's press secretary, right?
	Very exciting.
	So cool. Now that's all gone.
	And she's got a dead child's head in her lap.
	Pierre Trudeau is gone.
	The 70s are gone.
	The paycheck's gone.
	The fame is gone.
	And what is she left with?
	A soggy, dead child's head in her lap.
	So Matthew Perry has said that when he was drugged with the sphenobarbital as a baby,
	it was the first instance of trying to fix a problem with a drug rather than investigating
	and solving the root cause.
	you trying to fix a problem with a drug rather than
	investigating and solving the root cause.
	Now, I'm going to tell you something and again, this is going to be illuminating and painful.
	Thank you.
	I mean it with love.
	Matthew Perry suggests that this was the first instance of trying to fix a problem with a drug rather than investigating and solving the root cause, establishing a pattern he would later repeat.
	Now, everyone thinks that's about his own alcoholism and drug addiction.
	No. Fixing a problem with a drug rather than investigating and solving the root cause, that drug is false forgiveness.
	That drug is false forgiveness.
	The real addiction is to the false forgiveness, fixing a problem with a drug rather than investigating and solving
	the root cause.
	Do you follow?
	you The false forgiveness is the drug.
	It's the ultimate drug and it's the real addiction.
	Toxic effects of phenobarbital on small children, trouble breathing and even death.
	Side effects, irritability, hyperactivity, disordered sleep and digestive problems.
	Digestive problems. Now, do you know that Matthew Perry, his colon exploded from opioid use?
	and he spent two weeks in a coma and he spent five months in hospital and ended
	up being discharged with a colostomy bag because of his colon exploding from
	decades of opioid use.
	Matthew Perry often felt alone and parentless during his childhood.
	One of his earliest memories is of traveling alone from Canada to L.A. to visit his father.
	He was only five years old and he flew as an unaccompanied minor.
	He remembers being scared and feeling relief when he finally saw L.A. from the plane knowing he would soon be with a parent.
	He believes that memory is behind him feeling at ease, less lonely in homes or apartments with a view of the city lights.
	So when he was five, he saw the city below him.
	L.A.'s coming. That's where my parent is.
	And he always would buy...
	Giant apartments and houses overlooking a city because it gave him that sense of peace, of that relief.
	Now, his mother worked long hours, and he said one of his favorite memories was sitting with his mother when he was eight years old and watching Woody Allen's movie Annie Hall.
	And he says, like, I didn't understand the...
	adult sexual and romantic conversations, but He thought it was funny that he had a home under a roller
	coaster and sneezed into powder So he was often home alone
	Now, knowing that his father had taken a plane to go to California, every time Matthew Perry saw a plane overhead, he would say, Is my dad on that plane?
	Is my mom on that plane? Are they coming back?
	Are they going? Are they gone? Are they on that plane?
	So when he had this wonderful day with his mother, they played games, they tried paying monopoly, although he said
	it's tough with just two people.
	They watched Annie Hall, he had a wonderful day with his mother, and then the phone rang, and on the phone was Pierre Elliott Trudeau, the Prime Minister, saying, I need to talk to your mom.
	Boom, day was done. Day was done.
	Day was done. He also went to school with Justin Trudeau, and beat him up.
	Now, his mother dated, I don't know, he doesn't exactly say how many, but his mother dated a whole series of men, and of course, like most lonely sons, he would try to latch onto these father figures as they passed through, like shadowy Nazgul, through his mother's bed, and they would always end up breaking up and leaving and so
	he was constantly attaching and detaching constantly attaching and detaching.
	By age 10 his father had remarried had new babies
	His mother remarried, had new babies, and he felt very much like the odd person out.
	By age 10, he starts stealing money.
	He starts smoking.
	He was a lifelong smoker and a heavy smoker as well.
	He gave up on schoolwork.
	And then, when did you first have a drink?
	Hit me with your age when you first had a drink, just out of curiosity.
	I'm trying to remember. I think I was...
	I mean, not just like a sip, but like a drink.
	I think I was 17 or something like that.
	So we all got like late teens, early 20s for most of you, right?
	Yeah, so some of you, yeah, 12, okay, so some of you, so Matthew Perry had his first drink at the age of 14 and was drinking alcohol every day by the age of 18.
	Boy, it wasn't beer a big disappointment after all those commercials.
	Oh, this tastes like carbonated rat's piss.
	And did you notice, of course, that he would go up and down the bloat scale during the series of Friends?
	He actually doesn't remember in three seasons of Friends.
	He has no memory at all of anything like that, right?
	No memory at all. Seasons three and six.
	Three to six. No, doesn't remember.
	Three entire years.
	He used a colostomy bag after his colon gastrointestinal perforation, they called it.
	This was 2018. He was admitted to hospital.
	The doctors told his family that he had a 2% chance of survival and he had to be hooked up to a machine to breathe for him.
	This was in 2018.
	In 2020, he was in rehab in Switzerland.
	and he faked pain to get a prescription of 1800 mg of OxyContin per day and was having
	daily ketamine infusions.
	1800 mg of OxyContin.
	Am I going to assume that that's...
	I don't know, right? Am I going to assume that that's...
	Because, you know, people build up this tolerance, right?
	I mean, diminishing, right?
	So he was given propofol in conjunction with the surgery, which stopped his heart for five
	The resulting... Cardiopulmonary resuscitation resulted in eight broken ribs.
	He paid $175,000 for a private jet to take him to Los Angeles to get more drugs.
	When doctors there refused, he spent another $175,000 to take a private jet back to Switzerland.
	In 2022, he estimated that he'd spent how much on his addiction?
	How much had he spent, by his estimate, on his addiction?
	He estimated that he'd spent $9 million on his addiction, including 14 stomach surgeries, 15 stays in rehab,
	as well as 6,000 alcoholics anonymous meetings and therapy twice a week for 30 years.
	Ah.
	Matthew Perry's home.
	They have new revelations.
	This is his death home. As law enforcement authorities found multiple prescription drugs at the Starr's residence.
	While they made a point of saying there were no illegal drugs on the property, a number of prescription drugs were discovered inside the home where Perry.
	Perry unfortunately passed away on Saturday in his hot tub.
	As per TMZ, the outlet reported, authorities found antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs, and a COPD drug in the house.
	That's chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.
	Illnesses that result in airflow obstruction and breathing-related issues, which reminds me of Phenobarbital, of course, when he was a kid.
	The illness which can result in chronic bronchitis or emphysema is frequently caused by smoking.
	Smoking, he'd already acknowledged he'd smoked from the age of 10.
	All that money but no love.
	He'd already admitted to having a girlfriend.
	Well, I mean, what would I have said to him?
	That's a good question.
	I would have said that drugging the problem rather than finding its root, drugging the symptoms rather than finding its root, is showing up not in his drug addiction, but in his forgiveness addiction, his understanding addiction, right?
	It's just people-pleasing.
	It's just people pleasing to say you forgive everyone.
	Everybody loves you if you say you forgive everyone, but you hate yourself.
	That's the problem. That's what it costs you.
	I mean, if you had an abusive parent, and you say, but I've forgiven, and I've moved on, and I understand, and I sympathize, and she had it tough, and how many people get upset with you if you say things like that?
	How many people get mad?
	Hmm? How many people?
	No one! No one!
	Why do they not get mad when you don't get mad?
	Why do they never get mad if you never get mad?
	Because you don't trigger their inner alter egos.
	If they had abusive parents, then you not getting mad doesn't trigger them.
	I mean, do you know how many people across the world, millions of people by now, triggered by me being mad at my parents?
	They're triggered! Why?
	Because I get mad at their parents and they're like, shit, that's dangerous.
	He's arousing abuse within me.
	I've got to shut him up. I've got to stop him.
	They're trying to save me from their own inner abusers because they won't get mad.
	Forgive unrepentant abusers.
	Condemn your inner child. That's right.
	I would have said that the real addiction is not Vicodin or alcohol.
	The real addiction... It's fake forgiveness.
	Fake. For. Giveness.
	By dissociating from his anger, by condemning his anger, by saying that forgiveness is morally good and virtuous and
	you've got to be understanding and you've got to be sympathetic,
	by faking forgiveness, by disowning his anger, by refusing to hold anyone accountable, he was saying, are you ready?
	Are you ready?
	Oof, it's gonna hurt, man.
	I'm not worth an apology.
	I don't deserve an apology.
	I was never wronged.
	Nobody has to ever say we're really fucking sorry.
	We're really sorry. Get it, we fuck you up.
	We married for vanity.
	We broke up when you were less than a year old.
	We just drugged you rather than deal with any real issues.
	I took off and abandoned you.
	I went to work for some crazy prime minister and left you alone all the time.
	We just...
	We really fucked up, man.
	We really did. We're so sorry.
	No, he wants to forestall being apologized to because he's not worth it.
	He's not worth it. So he gives the false forgiveness and his parents demand, I assume, that false forgiveness.
	If you hold us accountable, we're gone again, and your worst fears of abandonment will be realized.
	You must forgive us.
	That is the price of having any contact with us.
	Now, probably not stated, probably not even conscious, but I bet you if I had to bet, I bet you that's the deal.
	Getting angry means Getting angry means it shouldn't have happened.
	Getting angry means that it's not normal.
	Getting angry means that you deserved better.
	Getting angry means that other people did wrong.
	Bad shit went down!
	Was it the baby's fault?
	Nope. Was it his parents' fault?
	No! His parents just did what the authorities told them to do.
	Bullshit. Absolute bullshit.
	Hey, quick question. Do you think his parents were, I don't know, raised as Christians?
	Do you think that they spoke wedding vows and were supposed to stay together forever?
	That couldn't even last a year.
	Did what the authorities, God himself was saying, stay together?
	and they're like, no, I don't think so.
	You say, I am glad he's not suffering anymore.
	His parents will probably live to 102 and still never care.
	No. I don't, I don't, no.
	I don't mean to sound harsh, but when you tell the world, because you're not just telling me, you're saying this publicly, what you're saying is that you've never confronted evildoers.
	And so you've never lifted the lid and seen what goes on inside.
	So if you don't want to confront evildoers, that's fine.
	I'm not going to tell you whether you should or shouldn't.
	But if you've not confronted evildoers and seen what goes on inside them when you confront them, don't tell me.
	I mean, I've seen that view.
	People on this very call have seen that view.
	We've lifted the lid and looked down into the hellscape that's inside the void of the wrongdoers.
	Oh, they won't care.
	No, that's just, you understand, we don't do surface shit here.
	Don't do it. You want surface stuff?
	Go elsewhere. There's tons of places you can get the surface stuff.
	Well, they don't seem to care, so I bet you they don't.
	No. No.
	No. That's not true.
	Empirically, I know that that's not true.
	I've confronted some serious evildoers in my life.
	They have tortured souls.
	Now you look at the surface and say, well, they appear fine.
	They're well-groomed and they put themselves together and they've got teeth whitener and they've got hair plugs and they play tennis and they appear to be fine.
	Fine. Mm-mm.
	Mm-mm. That's just because they demand you stay on the surface and they pretend they don't care.
	So you stay on the surface and then you spread this lie that they don't care, that it doesn't affect them, that they're fine.
	Nope. Nope. If you don't want to confront evildoers, that's your business.
	But don't pretend you have the knowledge that you get when you do.
	Don't pretend that.
	Damn! You guys seriously think that evildoers get away with stuff, right?
	Do you? You really think that evildoers get away with stuff?
	Like there's no... There's no justice, there's no conscience, there's no punishment, there's no loss.
	Does evildoers just get away with it?
	Is that... Is that your theory?
	Seems so in politics.
	Seems so in politics.
	What if they never realized they're evil?
	That's surface. Again, I'm just saying you haven't confronted them and lifted that lid so you haven't seen.
	If you haven't seen, don't talk about it because you're wrong and you're misleading.
	Oh my God. You understand?
	You guys are wonderful.
	I'm super happy that you're here, but I'm going to piss you off.
	What do you think you say to the world when you say evildoers are fine?
	Do you think you're serving good or evil when you say to the world consistently and repeatedly, oh, evildoers totally get away with it.
	They're totally fine. They won't care.
	They'll be just wonderful. You think you're doing good in the world by telling everyone that evildoers get off scot-free?
	Do you? Do you think that...
	I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh, but you're here because you care about virtue, right?
	I mean, if you're a doctor and you're recognized as a health expert and you say, oh, you know what?
	Every morning, repeat to yourself, if you're a heavy smoker, just every morning repeat to yourself, I'm not going to get lung cancer.
	You do that three times, you'll never get lung cancer.
	Never. You'll be totally fine, you can run marathons, you'll never get lung cancer.
	If you wake up in the morning, click your heels three times and say, I'm not going to get lung cancer.
	Now, you understand, you're convincing more people to smoke.
	Oh, I don't need to quit because I've got this magic pill, this magic phrase, this voodoo doll, which makes me immune
	from cancer.
	Fuck.
	Stop doing it.
	Stop it.
	you Yeah, right, yeah, he will do us get away with it. Let me
	sign up to join the deep state God
	My evil doing ex-wife not seen son in 12 years is a dried-up hag terrified she'll lose her son
	Should he ever discover the truth every hour every minute every day terrified
	Bye.
	Listen, I want to get to root causes.
	Do you know why you say evildoers get away with stuff?
	Do you know why you say that? Do you want to know why you say that?
	Again, it's not going to be fun, but it's going to be good.
	Pessimism? Nope. Measuring success incorrectly.
	Nope. Stockholm Syndrome.
	Nope. That's surface-level stuff.
	Yeah, that's right, Robo.
	So you don't have to confront evil.
	You're scared to confront the evildoers in your life, which I completely understand.
	And boy, do I sympathize with that.
	Oh, man, do I sympathize with that.
	And I'm not putting you down or being negative in any way.
	In any way. Now...
	If you choose not to confront the evildoers in your life, I'm not going to argue with you.
	It may be unsafe to do so.
	I'm not going to argue with you.
	But what you need to do is you need to say to yourself, I choose not to confront the evildoers in my life.
	I'm not going to do it.
	I choose not to confront the evildoers in my life.
	Now, that's not...
	What you say to yourself.
	What you say to yourself instead of being honest with yourself and saying, it's too scary, it's too dangerous, it's too unsettling, it's too bizarre, it's too freaky, I can't stomach it, it makes my bowels dry up and fall out of my armpit.
	And that's fine. That's honest.
	I have no issue with that.
	All is permitted with honesty.
	All that is UPP compliant is permitted with honesty.
	If you want to be honest about that, but you know what you say to yourself?
	What do you say? That gives you the false front called wisdom in not confronting evildoers.
	us. What do you say? What do you say to yourself?
	I'll wait for the typing because this is very advanced.
	But you guys can get it.
	You guys are brilliant. I'm already virtuous?
	Nope. Yes.
	Take away their free will.
	Nothing I will do to change the income.
	There's no healthy part in their terminal.
	I would be like a doctor giving CPR to somebody who died three years ago.
	They get away with it.
	They'll win. They have no conscience.
	There's no point in me confronting them.
	There's nothing to appeal to.
	I'm being sensible and rational.
	Do you follow? Because you think that you confront them to save them?
	Well, they can't be saved.
	I'm not going to confront them, and I'm going to call it wisdom.
	Right? But you don't confront evildoers to save them, do you?
	I didn't. What do you confront evildoers?
	Why do you confront evildoers?
	Self-defense, to some degree, yeah.
	To get rid of evil? Can't do that.
	So you're not evil yourself?
	Has something to do with it. Expose them for others?
	Eh. Protect those that you care about.
	Harm the interests of evil? I don't confront them because I value my life.
	They have nothing to lose. Okay, and that's fine.
	If you're honest, I don't care what you do.
	Just be honest about it, right?
	There's two reasons to confront evil.
	Thank you for your time.
	It was a pleasure.
	Thank you.
	Let me get to your question.
	I confronted my mother to save myself.
	She didn't speak to me for seven years.
	When she re-initiated contact, she did apologize for everything she did and has accepted that things won't ever be the same.
	She has a lot of regrets in her life and has been open about everything she messed up.
	I'm still angry with her and find it hard to be around her.
	Why would you want to be around her?
	She lets you sit with that agony for seven years?
	Now she needs something and she's back!
	God! She's getting old.
	She's got regrets. She needs stuff.
	She's lonely. Then she's back because she needs something.
	Not because you needed something.
	What you needed was for her to help you for seven years.
	I said that to her in those words.
	So why are you around her?
	What am I missing?
	While you type that, the reasons you confront evil doers are as follows.
	One, you need to see what evil does to people.
	Two, to inoculate yourself against temptation and being exploited.
	And three, so you never ever out there in the world say that evildoers get away with anything.
	You understand? Evil...
	It's kind of like a virus, right?
	Obviously, evil is kind of like a virus and it wants to spread.
	Now, you don't want to have it on your conscience that you are any kind of vector for spreading evil.
	Follow? And when you say, oh, they'll be fine, they don't care, they'll live to a ripe old age, it'll never bother them, it'll never trouble them, stop it.
	Stop it. You're serving them.
	You're serving them. You're not serving the good.
	And if you don't want to confront people again, that's totally fine.
	But your failure...
	Sorry to say your failure.
	You not wanting to confront them is fine, but just be honest about why.
	I moved overseas, so she's not embedded in my life.
	As to why I'm still around her, I think it's guilt and obligation.
	Okay, so indulge your guilt and obligation.
	I just hope there are no kids involved who are suffering because you're in contact with an abuser and an exploiter.
	I mean, if it's just you, I mean, that's your life.
	I wouldn't make that choice, but if it's just you, whatever.
	But if there are kids, that's a different matter.
	Or if you're married. Or if you have friends who care.
	or you know that kind of stuff Matthew Perry's mother also worked in journalism as a TV
	anchor in Canada
	but she got fired!
	it.
	you And she got fired because she was covering some beauty pageant, and she said, well, I guess everyone's going to be glued to that one, really sarcastically, and she got fired that night.
	So, even she hated beauty.
	So Matthew Perry opened up about past relationships and revealed how he feared intimacy and pushed
	away women who got too close to him.
	He's got a story about I don't know, Carrie Fisher's relative or some woman he dated, he had erectile dysfunction.
	He couldn't obviously get a boner, and then she patiently helped him through all of that, and then he rewarded her by sleeping with everything that moved in Southern California.
	Now, listen to this.
	Remember I was talking just earlier about...
	Marlon Brando and the movie where he finally learns the woman's name at the same time that she shoots him.
	He said about his relationships, he told People Magazine in October 2022 about his relationships.
	He said, that was me afraid.
	I manifest something that's wrong with them and then I break up with them.
	But there can't be something wrong with everyone.
	I'm the common denominator.
	I left first because I thought they were going to annihilate me.
	I left first because I thought they were going to annihilate me.
	Annihilate.
	The vagina dentata, the vagina with shark teeth, the female that absorbs and annihilates
	the man.
	Annihilate.
	Thank you.
	Women are death.
	I remember reading Marlon Bander's autobiography many years ago and him talking candidly about his fear of women.
	Do you guys... Minus 10, love women.
	Plus 10, terrified of women.
	Where are you guys, if you're men, with regards to women?
	Minus 10 to plus 10. Minus 10.
	No fear of women. Plus 10, terrified of women.
	Right. Right.
	Women plus state is a bad combo.
	Well, it's not like men plus state is a good combo.
	I'm a woman plus 10 terrified of women.
	Sorry, don't mean to laugh. I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry. So he was terrified of women.
	Women would annihilate him.
	Now, for a man, do you know what it means for a man to feel like a woman is going to annihilate him?
	Do you know what is genuinely going on in his heart, mind, and soul?
	Don't forget freedommain.com slash donate, or of course you can tip.
	Oh, come on, this is deep great stuff, right?
	You can tap on the app here as well.
	Mom would have killed him. Flashbacks of the crib.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	For a man to feel that a woman can annihilate him is a child feeling that his mother is not bonded to him.
	His mother is not bonded to him, which is why he loved his mother the day that he spent with his mother, playing Monopoly, playing board games, watching Annie Hall.
	And then who phoned another man?
	And she was gone.
	And then another man would come in and she'd be gone.
	And then a news anchor would come in and she'd be gone.
	Because she was world-facing.
	She wanted to milk her beauty to put it to work for her like a glistening slave.
	Mother is outward facing.
	Mother is focused on someone outside the family.
	Mother is focused on career, men, ambition, beauty, money, fame, talent.
	Mom ain't looking at me.
	I'm seeing the back of mom's head as she sails away, as she flies away, as she vanishes.
	She's hard to hold on to.
	It's like trying to catch a bubble.
	You ever try that when you're a kid? You try and catch a bubble.
	And have it not pop. You have the bubble, hand in your hand.
	Keep holding your mother's attention is hard fucking labor.
	Holding your mother's attention, holding her positive feedback, holding her enjoyment of you.
	Why is it that all of these men have these mothers whose attention they cannot hold?
	because they need to become a performer to engage their mother to put on a show for their mother.
	My life, Oprah and Facebook women's group boil my blood because my mother was more enthralled with them.
	Yeah. If you had a single mother, did you see your mother bully you but submit to men?
	Striking close to home here, Steph.
	Yeah. Did you see your mother bully you but defer to men?
	Be pleasant to men and ugly with you.
	Pleasant to men. Harsh with you.
	Nice to them, nasty to you.
	Gotta put on a show!
	Got to woo her. Don't leave.
	Don't leave. Don't go away.
	Stay with me. I need you.
	I need some shelter. I need some food.
	I'm hungry. Stay with me.
	and she's constantly acting annoyed and irritated with you, but the moment the phone rings, she's like,
	Hi!
	No, my mother is a loser that no one likes.
	Well, but she wasn't when she was younger.
	And every...
	So, Matthew Perry, in his early 20s, was hanging out with Hank Azaria, the late of the voice for Homer Simpson, and he did a very odd series where he was a psychiatrist.
	But... He was out with some friends one night and they went to go and see a magician.
	And they all got bored and frustrated and annoyed after a while at the magician.
	He said there were enough doves and silk scarves and top hats.
	And we left and we went to a friend of mine's place.
	And we'd had some drinks, but we went to my friend's place.
	There were no drinks there.
	And I was like, I have to have a drink!
	I have to have a drink!
	God! He went through this.
	It was the first time he really felt that he had...
	To have a drink. Why?
	Not Homer? Oh, Dan Castellano, right.
	Who does Sir Hank Azaria play?
	Everyone else? Or something like that?
	No, it wasn't that he hated his company.
	It's that the magician...
	I mean, tell me, is there not a certain amount of desperation among most magicians, even more so than every other act except maybe mimes?
	Isn't there a certain amount of desperation and manipulation?
	And magicians are kind of annoying in a way because they're just so desperate.
	And that sort of modern family, dad, nerdy magician desperation kind of thing?
	No, magician was like his mom kept giving him other than what he predicted.
	No, he was the magician because he had to put on a show to keep people's interest.
	It had to be a show.
	Do you have people in your life that you don't have to entertain?
	you you
	Do you have people in your life you don't have to entertain, you don't have to tell jokes, you don't have to put on a show?
	It's fine if you are feeling up and you want to tell jokes or tell good stories.
	There's nothing wrong with that, of course, right?
	But you have people in your life that you don't have to entertain.
	You can turn off the performing monkey hysteria that so many of us had by trying to woo mothers
	back from the grave.
	you Back from depression.
	Back from psychosis.
	Back from collapse.
	The dancing monkey with the symbols.
	Come back, Mom. Come back, Mom.
	I'm here, Mom. I'm here, Mom.
	I'll give you fun. I'll give you pleasure.
	I'll make you laugh. I'll make you happy.
	I'll sing. I'll dance.
	I'll do whatever you need. Just come back.
	Stay. I'm hungry. Juggling on a unicycle.
	Yeah, with no seat.
	And butter.
	And again, I mean, I'll tell jokes and I'll be engaging and hopefully tell some decent stories from time to time, but
	that's not what we're here for.
	That's a little icing on the cake, right?
	We're here to get to the truth of things so we don't have bullshit non-answers, fakery, fuckery, and addiction.
	We're here for the truth So again, what do I know
	But my guess would be that someone like Matthew Perry would say to someone like his mother, I'm actually really, really, really angry.
	I'm really angry. And I think I have every right to be.
	I know I have every right to be.
	It's a legitimate thing. I'm really, really angry.
	And I need you to listen.
	You chose... A bad father for me.
	You chose strangers, politicians, media audiences.
	You chose everyone but me.
	And that's absolutely unfair.
	I was an only child for eight, nine years.
	You drugged me.
	You and Dad broke up.
	You didn't have the maturity to work it out, and you absolutely owed it to me to work it out.
	I'm really pissed off.
	You did great harm to me.
	You did great wrong to me.
	And you were the adults, and you chose to have a child.
	I didn't choose to be born. You chose to have a child.
	You chose to drug me.
	Well, we were told to do it.
	Yeah, yeah, you've been told lots of things.
	If you've ever said no to anything anyone in authority told you, you had an authority called a wedding vow.
	You know, if most people had said...
	You've got a young child at home.
	You need to stay home with him until he's at least five or six.
	You need to stay home with him. No!
	You went off. It's your job.
	You're men. So don't tell me that you can't say no to what you're supposed to do.
	The doctor said it was fine.
	Yeah, okay. Did everyone say it's totally fine for you to abandon your little boy to go chasing money, clout, fame, and men?
	Anybody ever tell you that that was a problem?
	If not, then that's your fault for not having those people in your life because it's obviously a problem.
	Don't tell me that you can't say no to what you are told to do.
	You did that all the time.
	Bullshit.
	I won't fob it off on the doctors.
	I mean, did anyone ever say to you, maybe he's ill?
	Maybe there's a lot of stress in the household because you're about to bust up the young family.
	Now, if...
	Again, I don't know about this woman and Matthew Perry, but we'll just Bob and his mom, right?
	Just invent some guy. If Bob and his mom...
	If Bob has that conversation with his mom, what would his mom do, most likely?
	What would Bob's mom do if Bob told him how angry he was?
	Deny, cry, manipulate, never accept guilt, right?
	If he kept going!
	If you kept going, say, nope.
	No, I don't accept. Don't cry.
	This is not about you. This is about my feelings.
	Don't cry. Don't make it about yourself.
	Had enough of that shit. Focus on me.
	Come on. Right over here.
	Focus on me. Right here, mom.
	Right here. Remember? Came out of you.
	You might remember me. Big bald guy in the bed.
	First off. Stay with me.
	Eye contact. Come on. Stay with me.
	Stay with my feelings. Stay with my experience.
	You did wrong. You need to talk about it.
	Over here. It's like, you know, the woman with the cleavage saying, hey, my eyes are up here.
	It's like, no, no, no. Stop staring at yourself.
	Stop feeling self-pity.
	It's about me. Focus on me.
	Come on. I'm right here. Come on.
	Stay with me. Stay with me. Eye contact.
	Stay with me. What would happen? I know what would happen.
	Again, not talking about Matthew Perry.
	Bob and his mom, right? Because I don't know about them in any detail.
	Bob and his mom. What happens when Bob tries to get his selfish mother to focus on him and his anger?
	What will she do? She will push Bob's biggest panic button.
	And what is Bob's biggest panic button?
	What is Bob's biggest panic button that she will hammer with her elbow, her knee, her ass, whatever?
	Yeah, she'll leave.
	She'll abandon.
	She'll threaten.
	And go.
	I mean, she'll try every trick in the book to shut him up.
	And if that fails to work, she'll leave.
	I've seen it. I've been there.
	she'll leave. Or she'll drive him out, right?
	You'll become unbearable.
	So if the price of being around your mother is that you never get angry and you become
	an addict, what are you really drinking?
	What aspect of yourself are you drugging?
	What symptom are you drugging?
	What genuine, deep, and real experience are you drugging?
	Nope, not loss.
	Justified anger. That's right.
	The requirement for Bob to be in contact with his mother is that he never experience or express or even hint at his
	anger.
	Now, when was he first angry?
	As a baby. As a baby, you're helpless.
	As an addict, you're helpless.
	As a baby, your emotions are driven by biological forces that feel utterly beyond your control, hunger, gas, pain, affection, laughter.
	As an addict, same, you feel driven by biological momentum utterly beyond your control.
	The addict stays in the mindset of the baby because the baby can't get angry.
	Or, when the baby does get angry, the baby is drugged.
	in the same way that when a child in school is bored, the child is drugged.
	You're drugging the anger.
	Now, Because you're drugging the anger, you can never be around women who are safe to be around.
	You can never be around women who you can trust because your anger is designed to get you away from the untrustworthy people towards the trustworthy people.
	That's why we get angry at having been betrayed.
	So that we find a way to be around people who won't betray us in the same way that if
	a virus invades our system, we want our immune system to fight that virus and anything that
	looks like it.
	So because we can't get, Bob cannot get to safe women, Bob can't get angry, he can't get
	away from the exploitive women, he can't get to the safe women.
	the virtuous women, the trustworthy women, the moral women, the good women, quality women, he can't get there.
	So, what is the only value that untrustworthy women have to men?
	That's right, sex.
	you you
	Sex. Which is why almost all addictions involve sex addiction.
	Now, if you're addicted to sex, and Marlon Brando would say that he'd wake up in the morning and think about the next woman he would fuck, even if he woke up next to a woman he just had sex with.
	Addiction is driven, again, just my amateur humble opinion, addiction is driven...
	By the mother threatening abandonment for justified anger, which means you can't get to safe women.
	You're wooed, wedded, and addicted to dangerous women, which means the only value that women can have for you is sexual, but also, also, because you're betraying yourself and you're betraying your own anger and you're betraying your own legitimate suffering by refusing to get angry and pumping this bullshit helium of false forgiveness, because you can't get angry, you're betraying yourself.
	Because you're betraying yourself, you betray women.
	You betray women because you've betrayed yourself and your relationship to women.
	You're lying about your relationship to women, to this woman, to the dangerous women, to the bad women, to the manipulative and destructive and harpy and witchy women.
	Because you're betraying yourself, you end up betraying women.
	Matthew Perry says this very openly, that this woman who helped him overcome his erectile dysfunction, he betrayed her.
	Because he is betraying himself with regards to his mother.
	His mother betrayed him. He's betraying himself with regards to his mother.
	Therefore, the only value that women can have around is sex.
	So he betrays them. It's just a big cycle and circle.
	And there's no way out except death.
	I mean, how can you be? How can you have been that mistreated by your parents, be in therapy twice a week for 30 years, and no one ever told you to accept your anger?
	Are we not animals? A cornered rat will get angry.
	A cornered rat will fight you.
	A cornered mouse will fight you.
	Launch itself at you, try and chew your tongue.
	My mom would refuse my anger at all costs.
	She would never give me a chance to get angry now in 2023 on mutual territory.
	What do you mean your mom would never give you a chance to get angry?
	What do you mean? A lot of psychologists also have issues with their parents.
	Well, psychologists, I assume, want to keep getting paid, and therefore they don't want to really push and confront, right?
	I already set myself up as a truth shop, so you all can get mad at me for telling the truth, but it's not like I'm doing any kind of bait-and-switch here.
	I've promised you the truth as best as I can as deeply as I can see it from the very beginning
	What I'm gonna do meet her at work follow her outside of a supermarket
	If you're angry at someone, why do you need to only experience it around them?
	I mean, you understand, you can get angry at somebody who's dead.
	You can get angry at somebody you'll never see again in your life.
	Your anger is yours.
	It's not dependent upon the other person's acceptance or approval or okay or, you know, whatever, right?
	Your anger is yours. It's your friend.
	It's your guard dog.
	It's your defense.
	It's your immune system against exploitation.
	Your anger is not dependent upon other people applauding it.
	I mean, it's like if you really stub your toe and you go, I gotta call my mom to find out if I can experience pain or
	not.
	I saw a really sad movie.
	I've got to call my mom to see if it's okay with her if I cry.
	I don't think so. It's not up to your mom whether you feel something or not.
	And you don't have to express it directly to her or have her permission to feel it.
	She dated Julia Roberts and she was in an episode or two of Friends.
	He dated Julia Roberts for six months.
	Now, he really wooed her. Like, he really wooed her.
	He said he broke up with the beautiful and brilliant Miss Roberts because of his own struggles with addiction and not feeling enough for her.
	Mr. Perry said, dating Julia Roberts has been too much for me.
	I had been constantly certain that she was going to break up with me.
	He felt that Mrs. Roberts was, quote, slumming it by dating him.
	Why would she not? I was not enough.
	I could never be enough. I was broken, bent, unlovable.
	So instead of facing the inevitable agony of losing her, I broke up with the beautiful and brilliant Julia Roberts.
	So you know what he's saying there.
	You know what he's saying there.
	He broke up with his anger, and therefore he couldn't be close to Julia Roberts.
	He broke up with his anger. Therefore he couldn't connect with anyone.
	Somebody says, When I confronted my mother about what she did to me...
	to me as a child. She laughed and never acknowledged my pain and hurt. And I also focus on sex
	and on women's looks, as my mother was never really protected me or was there for me as
	a child emotionally. I do have anger. I have old belongings from my mom and debate throwing
	them out a lot. If I could press a button, I would swap it out at a thrift store.
	Now, when I say he broke up with his anger, would you like me to break that out a little
	Do you want to know what's actually happening?
	Because he broke up with his anger.
	It's glib and it sounds clever, but it's not deep enough.
	Should we go further? Should we go deeper?
	This is going to be dust boat territory.
	We're down to Titanic.
	All right. All right.
	His mother forced him to break up with Julia Roberts so that Julia Roberts would never find his anger.
	His inner mother forced him to break up with Julia Roberts so that Julia Roberts would never discover his anger.
	Does that make sense?
	I am not saying any of this is conscious.
	And I'm not saying any of this is true.
	true, it's just my opinion. But it fits, in my view.
	The other thing that can happen is parents can stand idly by when you get into a relationship
	that's destructive for you so that you're distracted by your anger at your partner rather
	than realize your anger at them.
	you I can't tell you how many people in my life freaked out when I met my wife.
	Oh my God, she's really good for you.
	Oh no, this is terrible. What works for you, I'm afraid, doesn't work for me.
	What makes you happy, makes me unhappy.
	What helps you succeed, makes me feel like a failure.
	No thank you!
	I appreciate the input, but, uh, StaffBot, peace, check out.
	You know, it's tough to exploit people who are angry at you.
	So if there's something in there that's like a bomb, you don't want other people
	to find it and defuse it, because then you can't manipulate and control people.
	I mean, if you are writing a story about how Matthew Perry died,
	what did his assistant go out to get him?
	What did he tell his assistant to go out and get him?
	New eyeglasses and an iPhone.
	To see and to speak.
	To see and to speak.
	But clear vision was death.
	Ah.
	I wonder what that lady who said you'd think you'd be happier for a guy who just got engaged
	would have said if she saw you when you met your wife.
	Bye.
	Well, she wasn't too happy with that either.
	I think that maybe she wanted a play for me.
	I don't know. All right. If a parent does not acknowledge the wrong they have done to you, will be an angry help.
	What was that process like for you?
	What do you mean by the word help here?
	Your emotions are not perhaps to be taught tricks for the amusement of bypassers.
	What do you mean help? We're being angry help.
	Are you going to judge your own anger and say, well, I'm going to give you marks for helpful or unhelpful, good, bad, ticks, stars, crosses and X's and O's.
	I'm going to decide whether you're helpful or not.
	You anger, which has preceded me by approximately two billion years, which is much deeper and wiser and older than me, Would you judge your immune system the same?
	saying, well, you know, it's important for me to judge ahead of time whether my immune
	system is going to be helpful or not.
	Tim says, recently you talked about how emotions are about the future.
	You get angry to prevent future occurrences.
	Mmm! No, Tim!
	I know I said that and I apologize for being confusing or unclear.
	Your anger is not a tool to be wielded to achieve a particular effect or goal.
	You get angry because you are angry and you want to stop fucking lying about it.
	And misrepresenting yourself and stifling yourself and saying your anger is bad and unworthy and unhelpful and unproductive and unpragmatic.
	It just is!
	You are angry. It's not something you point out like a laser pointer to illuminate something or protect you.
	I mean, it does have that effect.
	It will protect you, but that's not what it's for.
	It's for... to tell the truth!
	Yes, anger is for where UPP is not.
	Brilliant. Brilliant, Jared.
	Ooh, goosebumps. Mutual goosebumps, hopefully.
	No one is vocally angry here with their language.
	They all get demoralized. No, that's projection.
	Nope, don't speak to other people.
	Don't start analyzing other people.
	Just be honest about yourself.
	But everyone here and nobody in it.
	No, no, no, no. You, you, you.
	Stay with you. I never felt really true anger for my abuse.
	You're so right. Yes, because we are offered this great fucking drip drug of forgiveness.
	Well, it's just, it's so mature, it's so wise to forgive.
	I can't believe people who are angry, they just haven't learned the wisdom and maturity of just genuine, true, loving forgiveness to understand where people are coming.
	Fuck off. It's such steaming, estrogen-laced, hypnotic bullshit.
	Why did I never become an abuser?
	I mean, all of the signs would have pointed me towards becoming an abuser, and why did I never?
	Yeah, being the bigger person killed Matthew Perry, I may be, right?
	Why did I never become an abuser?
	You never would have predicted that looking at my first 15-20 years.
	I got angry because I hate abuse.
	I hate it. I absolutely, completely and totally hate it.
	Yelling, screaming at, hitting defenseless, helpless, innocent children is fucking vile.
	It's repulsive.
	It's disgusting.
	It's cowardly. It's bullshit.
	It's evil. I hate it.
	I hate it. Oh, but you have to forgive.
	Why? Why do I have to forgive?
	Now, you want to know the real contradiction?
	You want to know how you can find out in 10 seconds that this forgiveness stuff is total bullshit?
	You want that? Ooh, you won't be the same!
	Ooh, you won't be the same!
	You won't be the same!
	Ooh, no, this one is...
	This may be a bridge too far for you.
	I'm not trying to tease you or be...
	You might want to disconnect for this one.
	Oh, man! Okay.
	I'll tell you how it is.
	No bridge too far.
	Oh, that's very, very optimistic, my friend.
	This is going to mess you up.
	This is going to scramble your circuits into genuine clarity.
	All right, if you're still here, you're ready.
	Okay. If forgiveness is such a virtue, surely you should be forgiven for not forgiving.
	Surely the fact that you don't forgive someone shouldn't be at all a problem.
	Because forgiveness is a virtue.
	So clearly it's totally fine to not forgive.
	Because here's the fucked up thing about the world.
	Man, you see this and you want to take off to the hills.
	You want to go live in a fucking tree trunk in Alabama.
	If you talk about the abuse, if you suffered abuse as a child, if you talk about the abuse, are people more angry?
	And you're angry about it. Are people more upset with you?
	you have failed to forgive or are people more upset at your parents who abused you?
	I mean people say hey you know what I think forgiveness is good, but forget that.
	Let's really focus on how you were abused as a helpless and dependent child.
	That's what really matters.
	No. No, no, no. It's really important that you forgive.
	You've got to forgive, man. Forgiveness is the mature thing to do.
	Well, I don't want to do that. That's terrible.
	That's denying my own pain and suffering, and I'm happy to forgive, but they've got to earn it.
	No, no, no. You've got to forgive.
	Forgiveness is so... A lack of forgiveness is so...
	Why are we focusing on whether I forgive or not?
	not, how about we focus on the people who abused me as a child.
	If forgiveness is such a value, why do they attack those who fail to forgive?
	you you
	Do you see what bullshit it is?
	Why are they troubled by you failing to forgive?
	So they're saying, you need to forgive child abuse against you when you were a helpless, independent little kid.
	You need to forgive child abuse, but I don't need to forgive you for not wanting to forgive.
	You need to forgive abuse.
	I'm going to abuse you for failing to forgive the abusers.
	Oh my god, it's repulsive!
	BLEGH!
	It's like all the people who were like, well, you know, diversity is a strength.
	Oh, here are some scientific facts.
	Well, you're deplatformed. See, diversity is a strength except for facts.
	Forgiveness is just a cop-out so others don't have to face the abusers in their own life.
	No. It's not a cop-out.
	Forgiveness is how the virus spreads.
	Forgiveness is how evil spreads.
	Because forgiveness is the demand that nobody pay for their sins and that's how sin spreads.
	Forgiveness is welfare for evildoers.
	It is the theft of virtue to subsidize the immoral.
	You follow?
	It's not a cop-out.
	It's a methodology for contagion.
	You see, you don't forgive children who fail a test.
	They get an F, they've got to retake the test, at least when I was a kid.
	You don't forgive children who fail a test, but you have to forgive adults who abuse children.
	Forgiveness is good if earned though.
	you No, God. You guys are looking for orders for your feelings.
	Well, is it good if this?
	Well, is it bad? Is it productive?
	Is it helpful? No, it just is what it is.
	I don't know what's at the bottom of your feelings.
	There is no bottom to your feelings.
	I don't know what the purpose of your emotions are.
	I do know that you should be honest about what you feel.
	Can you reconcile without forgiveness?
	You guys are, oh my God, it's so abstract.
	It's so, just feel what you, be honest about what you feel.
	Above all else, to thine own self be true, for then it shall follow, as night follows day, that canst not be false to any man.
	Stop analyzing your emotions.
	Start judging their plus, minus, effectiveness, ineffective, helpful, unhelpful, productive, unproductive.
	Well, what about this? What if they earn my forgiveness?
	No. Are you angry?
	Then be angry. Don't act out.
	Don't be abusive. Don't be mean.
	Don't be violent. Feel, experience your anger.
	Don't judge it. Don't analyze it.
	Don't evaluate it. It's there to help you.
	If someone genuinely apologizes to you, Do you know what you do?
	You're saying, well, if they genuinely apologize to me, then I need to forgive them and then I should not be angry anymore.
	I don't know because I don't know if it's a genuine apology.
	Do you know what part of it you will know if it's a genuine apology?
	The angry part. Trust your instincts.
	For God's sakes, people, I get that we're all intellectuals here.
	I think that's wonderful. But God have some meat and marrow on the muscle.
	If someone apologizes to you for the wrongs they did to you, see how you feel afterwards.
	Be in a dance with your own instincts.
	Be led by your own instincts.
	Start analyzing and abstracting everything.
	The ego is not the master in this house.
	The ego is not the tyrant.
	You know, when I had the call with the guy who'd been mean to me and trolled and put me down, he apologized.
	Did I say, well, if he does this, I have to do that.
	If he apologizes, I have to forgive him.
	It's a rule. It's a law.
	Why would I do that to myself?
	I'm not a robot. I don't honestly care about what's going on with JF Gary Eppie.
	I wouldn't be surprised if it's fairly negative, but...
	What I did was I said, because I try to live by what I talk about, what I said was, how do I feel?
	I felt fine. I felt good.
	I was glad to have had the call.
	I was glad that he called in.
	I thought it was a noble and honorable thing to do.
	I'm not saying the guy's going to be best friends.
	We're not going to be best buds. But I thought it was an honorable thing that he did.
	That's what I felt. I haven't felt any differently since.
	Stop thinking that your feelings are trying to manipulate you and that they need to be managed and controlled and bullied and cornered and judged and time-stamped and passported.
	Your feelings aren't trying to manipulate you.
	Your feelings are trying to protect you from being manipulated.
	Any plans to review Killers of the Flower Moon?
	Oh, really? Could I just go and pay more money and spend four hours in a dark cinema to watch more bullshit white guilt splash across the screen with no context?
	God, what a sad ending to a decent career.
	That movie looks beyond repulsive to me.
	There's no amount of money I would take to pay to see that movie.
	I think it's just repulsive.
	Great book, crummy movie.
	Bet you it's a bad book, too.
	Hey, do they talk about the slavery and cannibalism of the native population?
	The genocides of the native population?
	No! They're all noble and heroic and wonderful and all the white men are bad.
	No, I don't go and see murderous propaganda like that.
	No thank you. No fucking thank you.
	You know what that's going to be all about.
	So if you feel like shit and someone apologizes a ton of times, silently through the halls, not certainly as boisterous as they were in their shaming language, I don't know.
	Then what? See how you feel!
	See how you feel!
	Your feelings are there to help you!
	They're there to protect you!
	They're there to inform you!
	They're there to guide you to the light and away from the darkness!
	Let them talk! Don't order them around!
	Don't be a Stalin!
	Oh, I'm sorry, do we have a feeling here?
	I'm going to need to see your papers.
	I'm going to need you to do this dance.
	I'm going to need to approve of you.
	I'm going to need to stamp something, and you're going to have to do some kind of mime routine that's amusing to me.
	Then maybe I'll let you through.
	Oh my God, that's all your abusers talking.
	Be at war with yourself.
	Be at war with your own feelings.
	Judge, critical, distance, never be organic, never be natural, never be whole, never be organic.
	Bravo, Steph. I feel like tipping.
	Well, that's a feeling you should absolutely act on.
	Emotional bureaucracy sounds awful.
	It's emotional tyranny.
	Now, why would you have thoughts in your head that set you against your own deepest passions?
	Because your deepest passions are inconvenient to those who want to exploit the living shit out of you, who want to bully you, push you around, make you feel afraid, make you feel less, weak, nothing.
	You go to war with your own instincts and I'll rule from afar.
	You will have no defense against my manipulations if you have to judge everything you feel.
	Because then, you know what?
	Here's the thing, man. I'll tell you what happens.
	I'll tell you exactly what happens.
	Here's what happens. You say to me...
	You say to me...
	You say to me, hey...
	Forgiveness has to be earned.
	And I say to you, oh, how do you earn forgiveness?
	Oh, you apologize, and then I wrong you, and I apologize, and then I control you.
	How do I control you? How do I control you?
	Hey, you said if I apologized, you'd forgive me.
	I did apologize. You've got to stick by your word.
	Now you've got to forgive me. You see?
	Don't blame me if I ask you to live by your own rules.
	How do I know when I've forgiven someone?
	I feel like it. I feel the forgiveness.
	Yeah, the letter of the law, narcissistic shit, absolutely.
	Do not hand out the letter of the law.
	It will be used to control you.
	It will be used to control you.
	I didn't know if I was going to forgive the guy who called up.
	I didn't know. I thought he was honest and genuine and It's fine.
	I felt that and great.
	But I wasn't going to sit there and say, well, if he apologizes or appears to, oh, now you get to judge whether my apology is real or not.
	It's like, yeah, I'll tell you. I'll tell you if I feel the forgiveness.
	I'll let you know. I won't hide it from you.
	I don't feel it. Well, you have to feel it because I apologize.
	Don't tell me what I have to feel.
	Fuck off. Don't tell me what I have to feel or not have to feel.
	Are you insane? If you were in that control of your own feelings, you never would have harmed me to begin with.
	Don't tell me what to feel or not to feel.
	How dare you? Are you insane?
	Why don't you tell me whether I'm hungry and need to shit as well?
	Tell me whether I've got an itch on my lower back.
	I'd love to... Tell me what I'm supposed to dream about tonight.
	What level of manipulation is beyond your reach in my soul?
	Oh, perhaps you'd like to tell me if I feel like a bit of kombucha now or not?
	You know, I'm just curious.
	Do I... Do I need to pee?
	I don't know. You just, you tell me.
	Tell me I want to go on Twitter.
	Yeah, I don't want to go on Twitter. I don't want to go on Twitter.
	Maybe I will. Maybe I'll wake up and there'll be something.
	Now, I don't think it'll be random, right?
	I don't think it'll be random, but maybe something will happen.
	Maybe something will happen. Like Elon Musk is looking to replace PayPal, banking, communications and everything.
	Twitter's going to be like the thing, okay?
	Maybe I feel I can do more good.
	Maybe there'll be something that will ease within me.
	Maybe I'll get contact from someone.
	I don't know. I don't want to go on Twitter.
	I'm sorry, I don't want it.
	I don't want it. But you have to forgive them.
	Why? Well, they had it hard.
	Will you forgive me for not forgiving them?
	Why does it bother you that I don't forgive them?
	Why are you more bothered by me not forgiving them than then abusing me?
	Why do you want to forgive the abusers but not those who won't will forgiveness on unrepentant abusers?
	If forgiveness is a virtue, I don't need to forgive because you'll just forgive me for that.
	I shouldn't need to forgive anyone.
	I know, but it's for you.
	No. Don't tell me what's for me.
	You're not me. You should be turned on by well-drizzled with baby oil black leather couches.
	That's what you should want to mate with.
	Slip your little shiv between those well-oiled black leather couch cushions and that's your fetish, man.
	What the fuck are you telling me what I should be turned on by?
	Why are you insane?
	What kind of freak are you?
	That you think that there are all of these wires and...
	puppet strings and...
	ha ha ha Oh...
	You know the only moral carrot cake...
	The only moral dessert is carrot cake.
	Everything else is just wrong and immoral, and you should just change your taste buds.
	You know, I don't like spicy food.
	I've got friends who love spicy food.
	I don't like spicy food. Do I sit there and go, you're wrong!
	You should not like the spicy food!
	Like your food. I'm not you.
	You don't want to forgive? Don't forgive.
	You want to forgive? Make sure it's for you.
	Make sure it's for you. Make sure you feel it deeply and genuinely.
	But yeah, if you genuinely feel a deep forgiveness, then yeah, it's fine.
	But you guys are like, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to cross-examine and evaluate my emotions.
	I need to put them through a lie detector test.
	They need to be translated into ancient Aramaic.
	And then Morse code.
	And then maybe a couple of hieroglyphics.
	And then if they're retranslated back in the same way and they still meet with my approval, I'll see.
	Yeah, good luck with that.
	Good luck judging your emotions.
	I'm sorry, I'm going to need to evaluate whether you are helpful or not helpful to my particular life goals as I see and experience them at the moment.
	You know that your emotions are almost infinitely older than you are, right?
	And infinitely more skilled than you are, and infinitely more perceptive than you are.
	Evolutionary anger is for a reason.
	It got us here. Now, suppression of evolutionary anger is also for a reason, and that's important to remember as well, because sometimes not getting angry was the only way you could survive.
	But be aware of when that is and is not the case.
	Alright, now there was some question.
	Let me just check if you guys find this stuff helpful.
	I would appreciate the tips, of course.
	Somebody says, at the end of one of your last shows, you asked people if people were dead but didn't know it.
	That's me. I'm 45, single, and stuck in a routine.
	Pre-lockdown, I had diverse interests and hobbies.
	Now, I feel listless and indifferent.
	Though I dream of writing or starting a business, I constantly delay.
	It reminds me of the song Time by Pink Floyd, shorter of breath and one day closer to death.
	With Perry's passing, I'm just waiting for life to end.
	Can philosophy help me rediscover joy and purpose?
	Yes, it can. Let me know if you're still with me, brother.
	Sorry it took me a little while to get there, but I was writing my own emotions.
	Are you still with me, my friend?
	Yes, okay. Steph, is one ashamed or bullied into forgiveness?
	Will the outcome be some form of self-sabotage?
	No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	Sorry, I'll get to your question in just a sec about lockdown.
	Are you an adult?
	The person who just asked this question.
	Are you an adult? You've got a beard.
	Unless you're on some giant hormone therapy, you are in fact an adult.
	Yes, okay. Tell me how somebody shames and bullies you into forgiveness.
	I'd like to know. Assuming that it's not some, I don't know, plea deal or something like that.
	How does someone shame or bully you into forgiveness when you're a grown-ass adult?
	Well, my friends and family did.
	Okay, how? How did they do that?
	How did they do that?
	How did they shame or bully you into forgiveness when you were an adult?
	I mean clearly they didn't possess you.
	They didn't take over your neuromuscular skeletal system.
	They didn't hijack your neurotransmitters.
	They didn't control your nerve endings.
	They didn't force your tongue into certain patterns.
	Telling me she's my mother and blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Oh! Oh, they used words?
	Well, that's different!
	Oh my gosh, they used words!
	Well, clearly, there's no possibility of standing firm in the face of sound waves.
	Oh my god, the sound waves, sorry, that's a whole different matter.
	Sound waves absolutely penetrate your eyeballs and completely hijack.
	They give other people direct lever control over your entire brain and body.
	Oh, I'm sorry. My apologies, man.
	I get it now.
	They used words, which you have no capacity to evaluate or judge.
	So because they used words, they forced you.
	Is that right? Is that your theory?
	They used words? It's funny, but very true.
	Oh, no. Oh, no!
	I thought I had free will.
	Damn it! Other people have language.
	God, I was so close to being able to make my own decision, and then these sound waves entered my ear like a brain worm, and they possessed and took me over, and I can't...
	No, you see, they threatened to disapprove of me if I didn't do what they wanted.
	Oh no! Disapproval!
	Well, you know, you absolutely know, if there's one thing you know about watching this show, it's that I always cave in the face of disapproval.
	Boy, the moment somebody disapproves of anything that I do, I just cave.
	I mean, you've seen that a million times in this show, right?
	Anybody says anything negative or disapproves of anything that I do, and I'm just like, oh, I'm so sorry.
	Oh, let me change that.
	I'll erase this. Okay.
	I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh at you.
	I get that it's painful.
	I'm trying to make light of this.
	It is a challenging situation.
	Steph, the guy who, I mean, look, tell me, tell me, is there a decent intellectual who's faced more headwind than me?
	I'm just, you know, I'm happy to hear it.
	Is there a decent, like, I mean, there are evil intellectuals and even they get praise, right?
	I mean, you've got a bunch of French intellectuals all signing pro-pedophilia shit, right?
	Is there a decent, honorable, nice intellectual who's faced more headwind opposition, rage and sabotage than me?
	I'm just, you know, I'm just curious.
	I mean, maybe there is.
	I haven't seen them. But I think I win.
	I win. Well, I'm talking contemporary.
	And here, Socrates, you know, I'm not a big fan of philosophy schools where children get raped.
	So there was the whole pederasty, there was the whole, you know, sex with children thing in ancient Greek philosophy.
	You know, that's not anything, right?
	Maybe Ayn Rand sort of.
	Maybe, but she could speak.
	She gave speeches at West Point.
	She went around. There was no bomb threats, no death threats.
	She could go and speak. She had book publishing.
	David Icke, again, I don't know much about him.
	I don't think he's philosophical in that way.
	But I think, um, and he's out there giving speeches, isn't he?
	...
	...
	So, yeah, I mean, you read some of the stuff about me and it's like, well...
	We could have applied this language to Satan, but we wanted to save it for Steph, because, you know, Satan's got some positive aspects to him.
	Dave Smith? No, Dave Smith's out there giving speeches, and he's doing his comedy tours, and no, he's on Joe Rogan.
	Marching into tear gas was pretty badass.
	It was, in fact, a little bit. So, I'm just saying, like, are you going to let words stop you?
	Why how can you universalize that?
	Like there's a very philosophical phrase I don't know, this might be too much power to give you.
	There's a philosophical phrase that blocks this language.
	Like, it renders the language inert that's used against you.
	It's, I mean it has its origins in Greek philosophy but it also showed up in Roman philosophy
	on Jersey Shore of all places.
	Do you want to know how you can block this sort of manipulative language?
	And honestly, it's a very short phrase, and once you think about it and you ruminate on it, it'll really, it's an amazing, and it's how I do it.
	I mean, if you think what I do is a superpower in terms of, like, negative feedback and continuing to plug on, I can give you this.
	I can give it to you. Do you want it in the original Latin or the modern vernacular?
	Both? Modern vernacular.
	All right. Latin first.
	Let me give you the modern first, all right?
	So, the philosophical phrase that you use to ward off controlling language is this.
	Fuck off.
	Fuck right off.
	Fuck off. Fuck off.
	Fuck right off.
	Fuck off!
	Fuck off.
	Fuck off.
	Seriously, fuck off.
	Fuck off.
	us.
	You're this, you're that.
	Fuck off. Fuck off.
	You can... Oh, what about the Latin?
	People call Romanus, they go towards the house?
	It says Romans go home.
	No, it doesn't. You find myself saying that quite often these days.
	All right. So let me get back to...
	Mr. Lockdown. So you're saying before lockdown, you had optimism.
	After lockdown, you feel depressed.
	Is that a fair way to put it?
	I want to make sure I get this guy's comments.
	Right? Before lockdown.
	Right. Okay. Do you know why you lost your mojo over the course of the lockdown?
	Fuckus? Officus.
	The original Roman. Latin.
	Not Roman. Latin. Sorry to be in an anal language.
	Alright, so do you know why?
	You don't know why? Anybody have any guesses as to why this man lost his mojo over the course of the pandemic?
	Over the course of COVID? Any guesses?
	Who's going to be me?
	Who's gonna be me today?
	Who is gonna be me today?
	Thank you.
	All right. What have we got here?
	Anus Horribilis. Realization of farming humans.
	Had to be around family.
	Couldn't process his anger. Seeing the true colors of people.
	Yeah. Depression. They psychologically took your balls.
	So, what did COVID reveal?
	We're in hell. COVID revealed we're in hell.
	And people would turn on you like that.
	Am I wrong? The mob can be roused to hunt you down!
	If you don't take experimental bullshit, the mob can be roused to hunt you down, and they'll cheer wildly doing so.
	Yeah, mask came off.
	The mask went on, the mask came off, right?
	Now, would you say that I'm either A, happier, or B, less happy post-COVID, during and post-COVID? Or during and post de-platforming?
	Am I either A, happier or B, less happy post de-platforming post-COVID? Happier.
	How is it possible that I'm happier post-COVID? Why?
	Less responsibility now.
	Oh, it's not less. Oh, it's not less.
	It was nice to have a warning shot.
	We know where people spent. Drugs!
	No. More happy you don't have to save the abuses.
	Less responsibility to corrupt people.
	Saw how people will act. You're free!
	Freedom! I don't need to walk on eggshells.
	No, you always need to walk on eggshells because the mob is pretty dangerous, right?
	Yeah, I don't have to save the world anymore.
	It's a huge relief. You know, like I struggled for a long time to save my mother when the mask came off and I had reasonable things to ask of her and she went completely nuts.
	It was like, whew, thank goodness.
	Thank goodness.
	Free from politics, free to focus on philosophy.
	Yeah, there's not a world out there that I want to save anymore.
	So you can look at this and say, this is terrible.
	Or you can look at this and say, the very terribleness of this liberates me completely.
	Do you follow? That does sound depressing, though, the way you said it.
	Well, I mean, there's a couple of stages to this process.
	I'm not saying you leap straight to joy.
	Haven't you ever had someone they just act so egregiously that you're just absolved of responsibility?
	The clear high ground.
	I don't mean maybe it's high ground, maybe it's low ground or whatever, but I was willing to risk almost anything and everything to save what could be saved.
	Because, you know, the people are lost lambs and they need help and they don't understand and you've got to be patient and it liberates me to do what end?
	There's nothing I enjoy anymore.
	Well, that's because you're depressed that the world showed it's evil rather than liberated.
	Buy that. I won't care for you more than you do.
	No point losing my sanity.
	No, it's not just that.
	It's not just... I mean...
	I get that people don't care about themselves that much.
	It's when they turned rancid and malevolent on me and you.
	I'm like... Thank you.
	Thank you for liberating me from the delusions of helping those who would do me evil.
	I can focus on the future.
	I can focus on my family.
	I can focus on great conversations like this.
	I mean, I felt a very heavy weight of responsibility to try and do good by the world.
	I really did. And it's like, you know, when you try to help the addict and then the addict sets fire to your car and you're like, oh man, that's really tough.
	And it's like, yeah, it is. It is.
	You know, you're out of car.
	I lost more than a car, but...
	So when the addict sets fire to your car, you can say, oh my God, that's so depressing.
	Or what else can you say?
	Well, I guess I don't have to worry about his addiction because he's clearly chosen to learn by bitter experience rather than sweet reason.
	Do you follow? And the world has clearly chosen to learn by bitter experience rather than sweet reason.
	I mean, the world is literally marching towards war and people are still like, well, at least the adults are in charge now and we don't have mean tweets.
	It's like, all right, great.
	I mean, I can't do anything other than watch at this point.
	I'm not even going to try to do anything other than watch at this point.
	Now the other thing, you know, the other reason that you're sad.
	If you want to know the other reason that you're sad.
	In my opinion, I don't know, obviously, right?
	But if you want to know, is this helpful at all?
	To the person who asked this original question, do you want to know the other reason why you're sad?
	All right, all right You're alone right you unmarried no kids
	Thanks.
	you That's right. Yeah.
	So given the way the world is heading, how do you think solitary people are going to do as a whole?
	Not good at all. That's right.
	So you're sailing along like things aren't going to change.
	There's never going to be any economic paroxysms.
	There's never going to be any huge problems.
	There's never going to be any shortages.
	You're just cruising along, living day to day.
	And you're not planning for winter.
	Right? All the easy socializing dried up during COVID because of lockdowns.
	Easy, sleazy places to socialize and pretend you have a genuine tribe, they all dried up.
	So you're probably freaking out a little bit because you're 45 and you've got no one who would really be there for you.
	Right? You've got to have people who are going to be there for you no matter what, who you'll be there for no matter what.
	It's the Austrian business cycle, but for relationships.
	Yeah, fear is done.
	Relationship wise.
	Go find people.
	It's the kidney test, right?
	You know the kidney test? Do you have anyone in life you would happily give a kidney to?
	Do you have anybody in your life you say, I need a kidney, they're like, I'm in.
	I'm in. Oh, besides family, not many.
	Family's the past!
	What about your future?
	Family's the past! They're dead, dying, decaying, moving.
	They've got their own families. They're drifting away.
	It's your family that counts.
	It's your tribe. It's your people that matter.
	I had two thoughts when I stepped on a giant nail in the woods.
	My first thought was, ow!
	And do you know what my second thought was?
	I was hiking with my daughter. What was my second thought?
	No.
	Glad it was me.
	you Glad it was me. I'd rather it be me than my daughter.
	She's got dances to go to.
	She's got friends to hang with.
	I'm glad it's me.
	Do you follow?
	Did she step in a nail?
	No. No, I stepped on a nail.
	I'm glad.
	I'm glad of the de-platforming because it made me an even...
	I was a good parent before, it made me even better.
	I got great benefits out of COVID.
	Cemented relationships, created a group, a community.
	Right?
	you COVID and the evils it revealed should drive you closer to people.
	So you get your kidney tribe.
	Somebody says, I need a kidney.
	You're like, you don't even have to ask, man.
	Where do I sign up? Do I need a blood test?
	Yeah, you wouldn't hesitate to give a kidney to your husband or your kids.
	Not even a question. Yeah.
	My wife needs a kidney and I'm a match.
	I'm like, yeah.
	Why? Because I get hungry.
	And I don't like paperwork.
	No, it's not even a question, right?
	Who's going to give a kidney to you and doesn't even hesitate?
	Doesn't even hesitate. And who are you going to give a kidney to?
	You don't even hesitate. Nobody went to the wall for Matthew Perry because he didn't get angry and get independence and get clarity.
	So he never got married.
	He never had any kids, even though he said he'd be a great dad and grown up around kids.
	Who are your kidney people?
	Who are your kidney people?
	Please, God, tell me that you either have them or you're trying to get them.
	Who are your kidney people?
	Who do you do for who would do for you?
	Who asks you for a favor and you say yes before you even hear the question
	I don't have. I'm trying to get them.
	Okay, make it an urgency.
	Make it a high priority.
	My nephew only.
	Ben, why only your nephew?
	were your children, was your family.
	Don't hijack other people's blood.
	I mean, have great relationships with them, of course, right?
	But don't hijack them. That's not your family.
	I'm trying very hard.
	Good! Good.
	Yeah, no, please. Get your kidney people.
	Get your favorite people. Get the yes, no matter what people in your life.
	You're going to need them. You're going to need them.
	You're going to need them. Matthew Perry, Died alone.
	Because the person he paid to do him favors was out running around.
	He died alone.
	What was his greatest fear?
	Being abandoned. And he died alone.
	And he died in the closest thing to a womb that adult males are capable of entering, a hot tub.
	And he died of a broken heart, his heart broken.
	Now, yes, he was a pro-vax guy.
	Could I be any more vaccinated?
	But nobody knows and probably never find out the truth anyway.
	But it's ironic that a guy who was famous for being on the show Friends died alone.
	But that show was a lure to eternal adolescence.
	The show Friends is not called Family.
	The show Friends was...
	A seductive satanic come hither to stay at the eternal age of 17.
	I mean, there was a kid then, Russ's kid, completely vanished, just gone.
	you Let's be friends and just hang out.
	No, they did do with some, yeah, seeing adults acting like teenagers, yeah.
	It was really depressing at times.
	There was one where Jennifer Aniston, the Rachel character, was turning 30 and was really depressed because she was dating some guy who was in his 20s, and she was just really depressed about it.
	Oh, there was a bit of honesty.
	But they're all dysfunctional and keeping each other.
	Well it's a way of deferring having kids, growing up, paying taxes, becoming conservative.
	Luring people into eternal youth is a way of keeping them from becoming small government and conservative.
	And it's funny because young girls are turning liberal more and more left.
	Young boys are turning more and more to the right.
	They're living in completely different worlds, and I don't know what the parents are doing about it or not doing about it, but it's something else, right?
	Somebody says, I met my husband during COVID through the Free Domain Facebook group.
	He was the only man in the group who ever sent me a message, as far as I recall.
	Now we have two kids and a third baby due in a couple of months.
	Such a relief for me after having been single most of my adult life and approaching 30.
	So there was a visible female in the Free Domain Facebook group and only one man ever sent you a message?
	Yeah. Well, congratulations on you and a hearty round of Base of the brain, ape-like condemnation to everyone else who couldn't summon the courage to talk to a girl.
	Anyway, I just talked about that earlier today.
	All right. Any last comments, questions, tips?
	Come on, man. I've been working, working, working.
	Been working, working, working tonight.
	We're expecting this December because of Steph.
	Could you at least spell my name right?
	If you don't mind. Appreciate that.
	Of course, congratulations. I don't care about the name spell.
	Sorry, I'm just too traumatized from the automatic transcriptions getting my name wrong.
	That's fine. That's fine. No problem.
	No problem at all. God, is it really Sunday?
	This is my second show today. But, you know, what a great crew to hang out with on Sunday night.
	Well, and of course, all of the parents are going to have a wonderful time this...
	Week at Halloween?
	Halloween? Farewell, teeth!
	Alright, so thanks everyone so much for dropping by tonight.
	If you're listening to this later, of course, freedomain.com forward slash donate to help out The show.
	I don't think our good friend who tips on likes is here, but if you want a tip, of course, it's most gratefully received.
	It's been a low month, but I get it.
	I kind of milked the last birthday month, so I may have stuffed the pipe a little as far as donations went, but if you could help out, I'd really appreciate it.
	Don't forget, freedemand.com slash books.
	Man, the life. Please listen to my novels.
	They are just fantastic.
	I joined the hundreds of thousands of people who've listened to or read my novels.
	It's your birthday today! Happy birthday, Ben!
	Congratulations. How magnificent.
	Happy birthday to you. I hope you have a great birthday and many, many happy returns to you.
	Lots of love, everyone. Take care.

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