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Aug. 20, 2023 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
32:57
WHY YOU ARE OVERWEIGHT!
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Time Text
Good morning, good morning.
20th of August, 2023.
This is the Freedom Inn subscriber.
Live stream, freedominn.locals.com.
If you want to join in these, we're going to do one question for everyone, and then we'll go subscriber.
Right. Let's see here.
Somebody says, Hey Steph, the girl I'm dating had two COVID shots to go on a cruise.
When I asked her if she would get more, She said no, but then later admitted she would, in certain circumstances, traveling to see parents if they were sick.
Due to how the jab can affect fertility and health, I'm not inclined to marry her.
She also said she'd want kids vaxxed, but I couldn't, but I wouldn't.
No placebo-controlled studies on vaccines, hence no way of showing they're safe.
Are my concerns reasonable?
Well, I can't speak to your medical concerns because, of course, I'm not a doctor.
I talk to enlightened doctors and do sensible research.
I can't speak to the medical concerns.
But, oh, let's see.
How awake and alert is everyone?
What is the one thing that I can talk about that she said?
What is the one thing?
What is the one thing that I can talk about that this woman said?
Should I read it again? Her choice to go on the cruise?
No, that's not philosophical. She says, hey Steph, the girl I'm dating had two coverage, she has to go on a cruise.
When I asked her if she'd get more, she said no, but then later admitted she would in certain circumstances, traveling to see parents if sick, due to how the jab can affect fertility and health, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
What's that one thing that I can talk about?
She lied, yeah. Yeah, she lied.
She said she wouldn't, and then she said it went pressed, right?
Hit me with a Y if you've ever been, I hate to say sort of a liar, like everybody tells little lies from time to time and so on, right?
So hit me with a Y if you've ever been in a relationship with somebody who has no particular conscience about lying.
Hit me with a Y if you've ever been in a relationship with somebody other than the media who has no particular conscience about lying.
What a ride, eh?
What a ride. What a ride.
A romantic no, familial yes.
So all but one of you have said yes.
Cheddar Man has never been in a relationship with anybody who has no particular conscience about lying.
Wow, good for you, man.
That's fantastic. I tip my hat.
I tip my hat to you.
Alright, so for those of you who are listening and watching, you think he mistyped?
Wait, you think he's lying?
Oh my god! The circle is complete.
Inception has closed off and the man is now lying to us and is comfortable doing so about being in a relationship with people who are comfortable with lying.
The snake has eaten its own tail and the carbon atom is discovered.
Alright. So what's the result?
Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.
Yeah, yeah. We was in one relationship with a liar.
He passed off your philosophy as his own to look intelligent without giving you credit.
Oh, you know what? I'm sure that's something that happens.
If it's any consolation, I pass off the muses of philosophy.
It's got its hand stuck at my butt and makes my brain work.
All right. You started losing touch with reality?
Yeah, yeah. The lies never stop.
It's a nightmare to get to the truth on anything.
Well, you certainly expect them to lie again to you.
I mean, I'm with House a little bit, like everybody lies from time to time.
I actually don't have any particular issue with lying as a skill to develop.
That there are times in your life when you're going to have to lie.
And I don't have any particular issue with lying as a skill to develop.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I mean... I'll give you an example.
Lying can serve morality.
So if somebody steals your bike and then you see it for sale and you arrange to come over and see the bike to get the address where your bike is and then you just go and take it back, you're lying to the person because you're saying, I just want to come and see the bike.
Where is it? And then you go and take it back.
Because you don't owe that person the truth because that person has stolen your bank.
So... Yeah, I mean, it's a skill that is not the end of the world to be in possession of, and as I've always sort of talked about, morality is a relationship.
Morality is a relationship, so you owe moral considerations to those who are honorable, right?
Now, if you're in a relationship with somebody who lies, a person who lies, not a liar, again, that sort of...
Somebody says, I was mistaken.
I realize now I've been in a romantic relationship in which she lied to me.
My bad. Now, that's not what I said, right?
Does anybody... I hate to be like Mr.
Nag first thing in the morning. Sorry, I had a wild sleep last night.
I slept for like, I don't know, nine hours or something.
That's why my voice is super Barry White, chill relaxed.
But I didn't say if you've ever been in a relationship with someone who lied.
Yeah, somebody who doesn't have an issue with lying.
Somebody who doesn't have a particular conscience about lying.
Somebody who can lie.
Lying is just a reasonable strategy to get what you want, no matter what, right?
No matter if you've been honorable and there's no...
It's just, well, you know, when you...
If you ever had a...
This is sort of old school, I guess.
You have a bunch of keys and they're all kind of the same.
And you just...
Like when I used to work as a...
Oh, have I ever talked about this one?
I used to work as an office cleaner when I was in my mid-teens.
Have I ever talked about this? I used to work as an office cleaner.
It was one of my three jobs. I cleaned the travel agents.
I cleaned a doctor's office, and I think it was a dentist's office as well.
And I remember I would just put on my headphones.
I was really into the police and the Beatles, and so I would listen to music while I just cleaned the offices, the vacuumed and dusted and all of that.
And I remember there was this list of everything that I was supposed to do as well, like dust the floorboards.
I never did any of that stuff.
I just never did. But, of course, I had a bunch of keys, right?
This is long before punch cards and all of that.
So I had a bunch of keys. And the keys all looked the same.
And so I would test the keys.
I would go in, empty the garbage, and wipe down everything, and dust things, and vacuum, and just clean the offices, right?
And so I had a bunch of keys to all the different places I was cleaning.
It was all in the Don Mills Mall back in the day.
And... So I would go and I would just try the keys out, right?
It wasn't a moral thing.
It's just, well, which key fits in?
Some of them went in and didn't turn and, you know, you jiggle a little bit.
And of course, is this the window repair where you lied about having the skills?
No, that's not the window repair, but I did lie about having...
It wasn't window repair.
It was screen doors, to repair screen doors.
I said, oh yeah, I've had experience with that.
You look for the little weasel words, right?
It's like, yeah, I've broken a screen door.
I tried to repair it, didn't know what I was doing, so I've had some experience with that.
But yeah, I don't feel bad about that, because I was a good worker, and it took me about 10 minutes to learn how to fix a screen door, so no biggie.
So I just tried the different locks.
Try the different keys and the different locks, right?
And for some people, lying or telling the truth is just like, okay, well, does this, does lying get me, does telling the truth get what I want?
No? Okay, well, maybe lying will get me what I want.
And it had no more conscience than me trying different keys in the locks, right?
There is no particular issue.
It's funny, you know, even though I'm talking about lying is okay under some
circumstances, I still felt a little bit of a ding when somebody says,
oh, is this the window repair, but you lied about having the skills.
Of all the immorality that I faced as a child, to focus on that is kind of funny, right?
All right. Somebody says, group of friends had a couple that broke up and the girl started dating somebody else in secret, kept it from everybody, but it destroyed the group.
No sense of what they were sacrificing relationships by hiding it.
They got their relationship.
Hit me with a why if you've ever started a relationship on cheating.
Either you cheated with the girl or she cheated with you.
Hell no. No, it's not wildly uncommon.
It's not wildly uncommon.
Again, you know, one person, yes.
This is not a big judgment thing.
I mean, we are all lord of the flies, lost souls trying to invent morality on the fly.
Yes, I have the girl broke up with her boyfriend to be with me.
Right. You know, again, there's some technicalities around that.
Like if you didn't, if she knew you were waiting, it's not quite breaking up.
Only casual? Yeah, yeah.
So you know that, and I actually know, I knew a couple, she was pregnant, believe it or not, when they first started trying to get together, and they ended up, as far as I know, they got married, like, later on.
Wild. Wild.
So, with regards to the original question, right?
My issue, again, since I can't, or I suppose won't, talk about the medical stuff.
I have no expertise to give you any medical advice and wouldn't in a million years dream of going beyond my expertise.
But when pressed, right, would you ever take another booster?
No! No! Are you sure?
What about this? Oh, yeah.
Okay, so then that's somebody just trying on different...
They're just trying out different keys in the lock.
Like, oh, I'll say yes, I won't get another, right?
And then, but if pressed, I'll switch.
Okay, but if, but if, but if, and so on, right?
So that's my particular concern.
What is her commitment to telling the truth?
what is her commitment to telling the truth?
And what are her standards for telling the truth?
Thank you.
Thank you.
You know, I mean, telling the truth is one of these interesting things, right?
Because, you know, you guys don't want to hear about how my bowels are working, right?
I mean, why would you, right?
It's irrelevant, it's, you know, it's unimportant, it's, you know, not the most elevated subject in the world.
So, I'm withholding information because I didn't tell you how my bowels worked.
Like, you know what I mean? So, telling the truth is sort of, it's relevant, it's important, the person has earned it, and so on.
Yeah, perfect honesty doesn't mean anything.
We know you got a thumbs up from the colonoscopy.
Sorry, I just misread that.
I read, we know you got a thumb up the colonoscopy.
I'm like, I think they went a little deeper than that.
I'm pretty sure they checked out my retina from the inside.
Yeah, well, I mean, but that was a funny story, and also that's just something that I would want to draw on people.
It might be worthwhile looking into, particularly if you're over a certain age.
Somebody says, I was talking to a girl who was giving me the signals.
I asked if she was in a relationship.
She said yes. Seeing it in real life was bizarre.
Yeah. So that's an amoral monkey brancher, right?
She's like, I'll flirt with guys, and if there is a guy who's better, higher status, something or other, right, then she'll jump to that guy.
But then, of course, because she'll jump to you, she'll jump from you.
Anyone who will cheat with you will cheat on you and so on, right?
So that would be my issue.
So I would, as far as marriage goes, I...
I personally would view, say, something around the vaccine, right?
She had two COVID shots to go on a cruise.
So what that means is that she's very susceptible to the argument from authority, right?
Isn't that... Really the big issue that happened with the vaccines?
People say it's safe and effective, right?
They say it's safe and effective. And now there's a new variant coming out of Canada.
They might lock down again in the fall.
Well, of course they will, right?
Because it worked last time, and this is the price of everyone complying, right?
So, she's susceptible to the argument from authority.
So, and for what, right?
To go on a cruise, right? And it's a wild thing too that people are just saying, well now you need more boosters and it's coming back.
And of course it's just wild.
It's wild that nobody's talking about that this was never talked about before.
Nobody is ever talking about how this was never talked about before.
Get your vaccines, you move on, you're done.
It's how we end the pandemic.
It's going to get rid of COVID. It's going to restore us to the way things were.
That was the promise, right?
I mean, am I alone?
I'm not alone in remembering that.
Do you remember that that was what everybody was told and that was the promise?
Hit me with a Y if you remember that.
Yeah. Yeah. But now, that's not what's happening at all.
And nobody's talking about him.
Nobody's talking about him.
Yeah, two weeks to stop the spread.
Slow the spread. Yeah, nobody's talking about that.
I mean, it's kind of like an asylum, isn't it?
It's kind of like living in an asylum.
What happened yesterday doesn't exist.
Somebody says, my parents would lie a lot.
I would lie about usually small things and would get punished for it.
But I have never seen my parents get in trouble for lies as a kid.
I would have to explain myself as to why I had lied, but was never able or encouraged to challenge their lies or ask why they had lied.
Just more punishment for talking back.
Yeah, I mean, those who can lie to you without repercussions, it's a mark of hierarchy, right?
It's a mark of hierarchy.
So, the girl that you're dating with, she took COVID shots because she is susceptible to the argument from authority.
Okay. So, are you her authority?
So if somebody's susceptible to the argument from authority, are you her authority as her husband or as her wife?
Right? See, here's the thing, man.
You want to know what is really the...
Why do relationships break up?
Why do relationships break up?
I can tell you this right now. Okay, hit me with a number.
I want to know how relevant this is.
We'll do this, then we'll go donor.
Donor. How many breakups have you had?
Just give me a number. How many breakups have you had over the course of your life?
I mean including small relationships, short relationships and I also count one night stands.
Alright we got from 0 I guess either you're still with or didn't date.
couple of zeros, couple of ones, couple of twos, four to fives, four, 15, 24, 10, 4, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 19.
five to ten, five to ten, still married to my first crush, congratulations, two, one, right.
Right. So hit me with a why if you'd like to know why breakups happen.
This is also going to be how you stay in your relationship.
Why do breakups happen? Okay, so let's say you get married to this woman who's susceptible to the argument from authority, and yet you're not the authority.
So she says, if she gets married to you, she says to love, to honor, to obey, as both the man does of the wife.
To love, to honor, obey. No one else before you.
It's a monogamous relationship.
I'm devoted to you.
You're devoted to me. There's just two of us, and we're committed to each other, right?
That's roughly the marriage vows.
Hit me with an M if those were in the approximation of your idea of the marriage vows.
I just want to make sure we're on the same page when we start.
Okay. Now, if you get married to Sally from the alley, if you get married to Sally,
and Sally obeys authorities, but you are not her authority, is she committed to you?
how many people are in the relationship?
Yeah, so when you get married you say that the other person you are with, you are in a monogamous relationship with
that other person.
Not that other person and Tony Fauci.
Not that other person and the local newscaster.
Not the other person and the UN, the World Health Organization, whatever.
Not the other person and her mother.
Not the other person and her friends who are divorcing.
Two people in the relationship devoted to each other.
So, if you have a woman, Sally, she's susceptible to the argument from authority, And you're not her authority.
I'm not saying you should be. I'm just saying that if she's susceptible to the argument from authority and she says, you are my guiding star, the person I want, the man I want to have children with, the man I trust with my life, my future, my finances, my womb, my offspring, my retirement, then you are her authority, just as your wife should be your authority.
I mean, you may divvy up certain areas where you have authority, but my wife absolutely rules me in certain areas.
Happily submit to that.
That tickles your brain a bit, right?
So, if Sally takes her orders from Anthony Fauci, you're not in the monogamous relationship.
Do you follow? If you have someone outside the relationship that overrides the person in the relationship, you're cheating.
You're cheating. Why do relationships break up?
Because they're crowded.
They're crowded by all the people that the people in the relationship defer to who aren't their partner.
You follow? Right.
So you got Bob and Sally.
Sally says, I want to do X. And Bob says, don't do X. And here's why.
Now, you can have absolute debates about the morals, the reason, the evidence.
Absolutely. You don't just say yes to someone because, right?
But you submit in this order.
Virtue. Reason, evidence, each other, and that's it.
In relationships, you submit to virtue, reason, evidence, each other, and that's it.
There's nothing else. Do you see what I mean?
Like, in your relationship between your dentist and And your cousin who's not a dentist.
Let's say your cousin is a garbage picker, right?
Or garbage man. In your relationship between your dentist and your cousin, who do you defer to?
your dentist. Assuming that you've had a good dental relationship and right this
is true alpha male talk No, it's just... You could say it's alpha male talk and all of that.
I'm not sure exactly what that means, but I will say that it's the only way that a relationship can be rationally organized.
Because you're going to have conflicts in a relationship.
You're going to have different ideas of what needs to be done.
No, it's not boundaries.
It's commitment. It's commitment.
It's commitment. To love someone is to respect his or her judgment.
And you can't...
We love virtue, right?
Now, virtue is not saying It's not saying in your marital vows, I love, treasure, I submit, I obey, I defer, whatever it is, right?
To you, to virtue, we hold no others before us.
It's a monogamous relationship.
So a monogamous relationship means you work out your issues with no reference to outside people.
No reference to outside people.
Somebody says, Steph I heard just something yesterday from a psychologist.
Relationships don't split up when the drugs are being used.
They split up when someone gets sober.
It's one of these. That's a deepity.
It's pseudo-clever. Absolutely, relationships split up when drugs are being used.
Yeah, drug addicts split up all the time.
Matters of mechanical aptitude.
The man may be the expert.
A wise man defers to his wife for home decor.
Yeah. Can't say I know many people in relationships like this.
Now, what do you mean like this?
You mean absolutely like monogamous to each other?
Yeah. Well, but that's what monogamy is, right?
I mean, the vows are important.
I don't know. People say these vows.
And I worked with my wife on her own wedding vows because this is the most solemn promise you're ever going to make, except to your own soul.
The woman says, my husband decided where we live and I decide what the house looks like.
Right. Right.
So, if you're in a monogamous relationship, it means that you decide things within the relationship without reference
to outside parties.
I understand your spouse is your first authority.
Well, no, that's not what I was saying, right?
Virtue is your first authority, and then reason, and then evidence, and then each other.
So, if your husband tells you to do something immoral, you don't defer to him, right?
Because your first responsibility is to morality.
If your husband tells you to do something that goes against reason, You don't do it.
Now, in serving morality, you are serving your spouse.
You understand that? Because you can only love someone who's moral, if you're moral.
So in acting in a moral manner, You are preserving your bond with your spouse.
You are preserving your spouse's ability to love you by acting in a moral manner.
Morality requires rationality, so if you act in an anti-rational manner, you are betraying your spouse because the love and the bond is essential.
The couple I am close to are completely governed by their own parents.
That's cheating. That's absolutely cheating.
And it's really one of the worst forms of cheating because it's hard to detect.
Yeah, like the traditional thing where the husband and the wife have a fight and the wife runs off to her mother and the mother sympathizes and says how bad the husband is.
That's cheating. It's absolutely cheating and it's one of the worst and most destructive forms of cheating that there is.
Where do your children fit in?
I'm not sure what you mean. You don't defer to your children because your children are new to the world and their brains are very small, right?
So, hey Steph, I'm wondering if there is a difference between respecting your partner's judgment and trusting
your partner's judgment.
My friend Cheterman, you are not wondering that.
You are trying to atom split when we're talking broad strokes.
Yeah, you are. Because we're talking about some very important things here, and now you're splitting the atom.
Respecting and trusting and so on, right?
And earlier we had confusion about, and it's not a hostile thing at all, I'm just sort of pointing it out, that there are times where you sort of open your heart and mind and listen, and maybe you agree with it or you don't.
But if you just immediately say, oh, but what about this?
And what about that? Just listen first.
Just listen. Don't have to agree or anything, but just listen to the big, meaty, deep, powerful, world-spanning, life-saving argument.
Just listen. Just listen rather than jumping in with nitpicking.
This is a big suggestion.
You can't get anywhere in life if you are listening to some big, powerful argument, which this is, right?
I'm talking about how to stay together with someone for the rest of your life.
What about this? What about that?
Right? I'm telling you, it's a terrible habit.
I understand that habit. Lord knows I have it.
I absolutely have it.
I totally understand. But you want to avoid the big picture by zooming in, right?
Like you understand, if there's a big picture, like there's something horrifying, and you zoom in, you don't have to deal with the big picture.
Hit me with a why.
If you have deferred to people outside of your relationship.
I have. I mean, not currently, but in the past.
Hit me with a why if you've deferred to people outside of your relationship.
I believe you Taylor.
Absolutely believe you.
In the past, in what capacity?
Bye.
you My ex did it constantly with her family who hated my guts.
Your super chat question earlier, I have copied that.
That was the question about weight loss, is that right?
Yes, I'm sorry, I should have mentioned that.
My apologies. Yes, to gather reason and evidence.
No, you're not deferring.
If you're gathering reason and evidence, you're not deferring to your partner.
Like, you don't want two people just in this circular enslavement of I'll do what.
You can't resolve disputes if you both have a disagreement and you both decide to defer to each other, right?
If one of you says, I want to move to Scotland, and one of you says, I want to move to Dubai, and you both defer to each other, you don't get anywhere.
So there has to be some external standard, right?
But a crowded relationship will not survive.
The commitment to the moral, the reasonable, and the evident doesn't leave room to fight about much with your partner.
Well, yeah, this is why my wife and I don't fight.
We don't fight. We've never fought.
I mean, we've had our disagreements.
But we don't fight. No, I'm not lucky.
I'm not lucky. Oh, my God, no.
I can do 50 sit-ups.
I can do 100 push-ups.
You're just very lucky. He's like, no, I'm not.
Now, why is...
Okay, we'll continue this on, but this is a supporter-only podcast from here on in.
We'll get into it even deeper.
What you are is triggering. Well, no, it's, you have the standard, you know, you know how many people are out there who says, oh man, relationships are tough and they work and it's like, no, no, they're not.
Relationship is where you come for love, recharging, acceptance, affection, happiness, support.
That's what, I already have a job.
I don't need a relationship as a part-time job.
I already have a job. Yeah, relationships are not tough.
That's everyone around you?
Help? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, we'll get to the weight loss thing.
It's a great question.
So yeah, with the woman who's...
She lies and you just have to...
And the reason you do reason above evidence is because...
Evidence is painful, right?
Evidence is painful. The reason you stop drinking is drinking is bad for you, right?
And there's reasons for that that you understand medically.
You don't wait until your liver is half dead and then say, well, the evidence is that drinking is bad.
Evidence is...
I'm helpless, good women don't exist, yeah.
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