| Time | Text |
|---|---|
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Turtle in the Sand
00:03:14
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|
| That's enough philosophy for us. | |
| Yeah, so now, earlier today we live-streamed our tadpileptic, everybody was doing well, and then the sandstone ate a toad. | |
| Uh, sorry, a toad. Uh, I meant to say a caterpillar. | |
| And now, so we just went on a little bike ride, right? | |
| Yeah. Uh, we went into a tiny little dead-end neighborhood. | |
| Uh, and there's a pond here. | |
| We've, um... Me and my mom had seen a turtle before, and this guy is the cutest thing. | |
| So we were today, a few days ago, we found a turtle, he just ran into the pond. | |
| Huge turtle, a snapping turtle, right? | |
| Yeah. But now we were just leaving the area, nothing interesting was there. | |
| And we were going up, and my parents went up, and then I'm like, oh my god! | |
| Guys, there's a turtle here. | |
| I don't believe you. I think he's stuck. | |
| Like, look at that. That looks like where he's falling down. | |
| It looks like he's dug with his hind legs. | |
| Like, you know how you get stuck in mud as a car or something? | |
| So I think he's stuck here in the sand. | |
| I think so. So we're going to take him and we're going to put him elsewhere. | |
| Do you want to see if he wants to eat any food? | |
| We don't have any. No, look, a little finger or... | |
| No, no, try... He might eat a leaf or something. | |
| Uh, I'm not sure. | |
| Let me give this guy a try. | |
| We'll obviously look up what they feed him. | |
| Maybe we can keep him for a tiny bit. | |
| Like maybe, I don't know, a day or an hour or something. | |
| Let's see. Very cool. | |
| See if he'll eat anything. Nah, he's scared. | |
| Yeah, he is nervous, right? He doesn't trust us at all. | |
| So I think he tried to climb this embankment and I think he got stuck. | |
| Well, that's what this looks like, but he's very cute. | |
| He has algae growing on his shell. | |
| Hey, who doesn't? Yeah. | |
| But, like, we've seen these turtles before. | |
| The red stripes on their hands, that's what makes me remember him. | |
| Yeah, yeah. And he has some red stripes. | |
| He's so cute. Oh, very cool. | |
| He's definitely not a snapping turtle, which is cool. | |
| And don't worry, we'll sanitize. | |
| Yeah, we will sanitize. | |
| We're not touching our faces or anything. | |
| The most I'm doing to brush the annoying hair out of my face is just, like, my shoulder. | |
| Oh, tell me about it. What? | |
| I'm just kidding. I'm like, I'm sorry. | |
| Now, Izzy, I can't, because I have my glasses on. | |
| What are people saying? They're telling us what kind of turtle it is. | |
| They're telling us it's dangerous. She can mark it and put her name on it with nail polish. | |
| Did that when I was little. Might be laying eggs. | |
| Turtle virus. Red-eared slider. | |
| Wait. Slider. | |
| Oh, red-eared slider. | |
| Slider is a kind of small hamburger. | |
| I'm sure she doesn't mean that. Wait. | |
| Turtles in half-shell turtle power. | |
| Okay, I have no idea. Give him some pets. | |
| Some pets? Yeah. | |
| I think pet him? I don't know. | |
| I'm just going to... That is very cool, though. | |
| He's kind of... He's small, though. | |
| I don't think he's very old. I think this... | |
| I don't know. I've heard that... | |
| I... The one we see... | |
| Saw... I was, like, four? | |
| I'm 11 now, but I was, like, four, I think, when we last saw him. | |
| Maybe four or five. And, um... | |
| Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and they see he seemed a little bit bigger than this, so maybe this is near full size. | |
| I saw that, wasn't it? You know what, he's vamping for the live stream. | |
| Work it, friend, work it. | |
| I see you. Oh, he's so cute. | |
| That is really cool. Now, I don't think... | |
| Can you just have a quick poke in the dirt there very gently? | |
| Yeah. I don't think he's laying... | |
| I think he's too little to lay eggs. | |
| Or she, I guess it would be she, right? | |
| I don't know. It seems like there's a hole there, and I know they kind of lay their eggs in a hole. | |
| Yeah? I've heard... | |
| That is very interesting. I'm not sure. | |
| Let's leave her there for the next little bit. | |
| Yeah, yeah. I'm just gonna, you know, kind of sit here looking at her. | |
| But I don't know why she would lay her eggs here and not in the bushes. | |
| Now Izzy, here's what we need to do. | |
| Yeah? Here's what we need to do. | |
| And maybe you can do this for me or I can do it. | |
|
Thinking About Birds
00:04:16
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|
| Oh gosh. So if this was a nature documentary and they were telling you all about the beauty of animals, what would be the next thing they would say? | |
| And then humans came along and killed them all. | |
| That's right. And global warming is killing all of their habitats and you must feel guilty and give up all of your freedoms and property rights and money and everything. | |
| Look, we like those documentaries, but the global warming part just gets so like, oh my gosh. | |
| That's right. Do you like these polar bear cubs? | |
| Well, you're killing them with your car. | |
| Since you were born, it's been like a... | |
| What's it called? Plus 20% more polar bears in the U.S. area. | |
| Polar bears are doing well. | |
| Just to make it look like a real nature documentary, we have to put in that... | |
| We've got to put in that shiv of guilt in the side for free market capitalism. | |
| It's killing all of their inhabitants. | |
| Anyway, just look at that camouflage too, eh? | |
| That's why I didn't see him. | |
| Not because of my older eyes or anything, but because of the camouflage. | |
| Oh yeah, I did. Oh yeah, so I was literally thinking right when we were at that pond. | |
| Oh, did I just see something? I think it may have been a bird. | |
| I'll be right back one second. Well, I guess I'll continue the show on my own. | |
| I don't know if that showed up. | |
| Yeah, so basically what happened was, what's it called? | |
| I promise I was going to say something. | |
| Oh yeah, I was just thinking, oh, I wish we could see a turtle today. | |
| I mean, like, I've seen, yeah, the day we actually, we came, there was a turtle sitting on the road. | |
| Yep. And then a turtle at the pond. | |
| So that's two big turtles in one day. | |
| But that's the day that I was talking about at the beginning of this live stream. | |
| So I was just thinking now, I'm like, oh, we should see a turtle again here. | |
| I mean, it'd be the perfect spot. | |
| It even has that type of algae that we typically see on turtles if they've just come out of the water. | |
| Right. It's kind of like weird kind of plant water clovers. | |
| It's not exactly algae, but Anyways, then I'm like, oh my gosh, there's actually a turtle. | |
| I was just thinking about one and we got a turtle. | |
| Honestly, if I think there's going to be a bird that's about to poop on someone, it's a bird that's about to poop on someone. | |
| I'm kidding. I tell you, that was actually a historic moment in the history of the internet because that was the first time a molyneux has ever lost a train of thought in a live stream or a show of any kind. | |
| Yeah. Just first time ever. | |
| No, what I mean by that is like the reason I was just thinking, oh, I wish we could see a turtle. | |
| We're probably going to see one soon. | |
| Yeah. Right? And then I'm like, oh, wow, we just saw one right after I was thinking we should see a turtle soon. | |
| Yeah, yeah. So that was what I meant about like if I think a bird is about to poop on someone, the bird is about to poop on someone. | |
| Yeah, don't ever say that. Yeah. | |
| Now, this is interesting too. | |
| So we, in our backyard, as I say, a couple of years ago, we, there were two turtles. | |
| There was one of these dudes. Yeah. | |
| And then there was a snapping turtle. | |
| I saw them It was huge and gray and it barely had any of these patterns right here. | |
| Now, first of all, this is how you know that turtles like jigsaw puzzles, number one. | |
| Number two, that snapping turtle, I was picking it up to move it because it was kind of tangled. | |
| And I picked it up from the side and the head came out like a tentacle. | |
| Out like something out of an alien, like something would come out of someone's chest on a spaceship and kind of whipped around to the side and almost bit me. | |
| So I just want to tell people, if you're thinking of touching a snapping turtle that's big, do not do it because their heads go on forever. | |
| Last year we had two. | |
| One of them was a About the size, a little bit smaller. | |
| Yeah. And then another one was way smaller, like half of this, like that down. | |
| And they were both snapping turtles. | |
| They never bit anyone. In fact, they were very tame with me. | |
| Like, I mean, they would just kind of sit around, you know, and let me pick them up. | |
| But that's because they were little. | |
| Now, if there was a snapping turtle that was, say, this big, I don't even think you can see my hands, say double that thing, those things will probably bite you. | |
| So, yeah. And they are very, very snappy. | |
| Yes, they are. All right. | |
| Any other comments that we need to take care of? | |
| We'll let people get on with their day. | |
| I just thought this was too cool not to share. | |
| Yes. I'm just reading the comments. | |
| People should type a whole lot that's blurry. That's so rude. | |
| Someone said it looks like a watermelon. | |
| It does, but we're not going to put elastic bands around it until it explodes because that would be horrible. | |
| That would be rich. Anything else important? | |
| Safety stuff. Anybody know what it is? Philosophy soon? | |
| No, you don't get philosophy. | |
| Hang on. We're going to do a live stream in about 45 minutes. | |
| I'm doing a live stream on the state of the world. | |
| Oh gosh, that's soon. Okay, well, I'm going to make... | |
| I'm going to make a nice habitat for this guy right here, and then I'm going to release him, like, very soon. | |
| And I'm going to give him food. We actually have turtle food from last year, so... | |
| Excellent. Turtle food. | |
| We're not going to use the turtle for food. | |
| We're going to feed him turtle food. No, yes. | |
| All right. Bye, everyone! | |