Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux - IZZY FOUND A TURTLE!!!!
Aired: 2020-06-27
Duration: 07:31


=== Turtle in the Sand (03:14) ===

[00:00:00]  That's enough philosophy for us.
[00:00:01]  Yeah, so now, earlier today we live-streamed our tadpileptic, everybody was doing well, and then the sandstone ate a toad.
[00:00:07]  Uh, sorry, a toad. Uh, I meant to say a caterpillar.
[00:00:10]  And now, so we just went on a little bike ride, right?
[00:00:13]  Yeah. Uh, we went into a tiny little dead-end neighborhood.
[00:00:16]  Uh, and there's a pond here.
[00:00:18]  We've, um... Me and my mom had seen a turtle before, and this guy is the cutest thing.
[00:00:24]  So we were today, a few days ago, we found a turtle, he just ran into the pond.
[00:00:27]  Huge turtle, a snapping turtle, right?
[00:00:29]  Yeah. But now we were just leaving the area, nothing interesting was there.
[00:00:32]  And we were going up, and my parents went up, and then I'm like, oh my god!
[00:00:38]  Guys, there's a turtle here.
[00:00:40]  I don't believe you. I think he's stuck.
[00:00:42]  Like, look at that. That looks like where he's falling down.
[00:00:43]  It looks like he's dug with his hind legs.
[00:00:45]  Like, you know how you get stuck in mud as a car or something?
[00:00:49]  So I think he's stuck here in the sand.
[00:00:51]  I think so. So we're going to take him and we're going to put him elsewhere.
[00:00:53]  Do you want to see if he wants to eat any food?
[00:00:55]  We don't have any. No, look, a little finger or...
[00:00:58]  No, no, try... He might eat a leaf or something.
[00:01:00]  Uh, I'm not sure.
[00:01:02]  Let me give this guy a try.
[00:01:03]  We'll obviously look up what they feed him.
[00:01:04]  Maybe we can keep him for a tiny bit.
[00:01:06]  Like maybe, I don't know, a day or an hour or something.
[00:01:07]  Let's see. Very cool.
[00:01:08]  See if he'll eat anything. Nah, he's scared.
[00:01:11]  Yeah, he is nervous, right? He doesn't trust us at all.
[00:01:12]  So I think he tried to climb this embankment and I think he got stuck.
[00:01:16]  Well, that's what this looks like, but he's very cute.
[00:01:18]  He has algae growing on his shell.
[00:01:19]  Hey, who doesn't? Yeah.
[00:01:21]  But, like, we've seen these turtles before.
[00:01:23]  The red stripes on their hands, that's what makes me remember him.
[00:01:25]  Yeah, yeah. And he has some red stripes.
[00:01:27]  He's so cute. Oh, very cool.
[00:01:28]  He's definitely not a snapping turtle, which is cool.
[00:01:30]  And don't worry, we'll sanitize.
[00:01:32]  Yeah, we will sanitize.
[00:01:33]  We're not touching our faces or anything.
[00:01:35]  The most I'm doing to brush the annoying hair out of my face is just, like, my shoulder.
[00:01:38]  Oh, tell me about it. What?
[00:01:40]  I'm just kidding. I'm like, I'm sorry.
[00:01:42]  Now, Izzy, I can't, because I have my glasses on.
[00:01:44]  What are people saying? They're telling us what kind of turtle it is.
[00:01:47]  They're telling us it's dangerous. She can mark it and put her name on it with nail polish.
[00:01:51]  Did that when I was little. Might be laying eggs.
[00:01:54]  Turtle virus. Red-eared slider.
[00:01:57]  Wait. Slider.
[00:01:59]  Oh, red-eared slider.
[00:02:00]  Slider is a kind of small hamburger.
[00:02:01]  I'm sure she doesn't mean that. Wait.
[00:02:04]  Turtles in half-shell turtle power.
[00:02:06]  Okay, I have no idea. Give him some pets.
[00:02:09]  Some pets? Yeah.
[00:02:11]  I think pet him? I don't know.
[00:02:14]  I'm just going to... That is very cool, though.
[00:02:18]  He's kind of... He's small, though.
[00:02:19]  I don't think he's very old. I think this...
[00:02:21]  I don't know. I've heard that...
[00:02:22]  I... The one we see...
[00:02:24]  Saw... I was, like, four?
[00:02:25]  I'm 11 now, but I was, like, four, I think, when we last saw him.
[00:02:28]  Maybe four or five. And, um...
[00:02:30]  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and they see he seemed a little bit bigger than this, so maybe this is near full size.
[00:02:35]  I saw that, wasn't it? You know what, he's vamping for the live stream.
[00:02:39]  Work it, friend, work it.
[00:02:41]  I see you. Oh, he's so cute.
[00:02:43]  That is really cool. Now, I don't think...
[00:02:46]  Can you just have a quick poke in the dirt there very gently?
[00:02:49]  Yeah. I don't think he's laying...
[00:02:51]  I think he's too little to lay eggs.
[00:02:52]  Or she, I guess it would be she, right?
[00:02:53]  I don't know. It seems like there's a hole there, and I know they kind of lay their eggs in a hole.
[00:02:57]  Yeah? I've heard...
[00:02:59]  That is very interesting. I'm not sure.
[00:03:00]  Let's leave her there for the next little bit.
[00:03:02]  Yeah, yeah. I'm just gonna, you know, kind of sit here looking at her.
[00:03:06]  But I don't know why she would lay her eggs here and not in the bushes.
[00:03:09]  Now Izzy, here's what we need to do.
[00:03:11]  Yeah? Here's what we need to do.
[00:03:12]  And maybe you can do this for me or I can do it.

=== Thinking About Birds (04:16) ===

[00:03:14]  Oh gosh. So if this was a nature documentary and they were telling you all about the beauty of animals, what would be the next thing they would say?
[00:03:24]  And then humans came along and killed them all.
[00:03:26]  That's right. And global warming is killing all of their habitats and you must feel guilty and give up all of your freedoms and property rights and money and everything.
[00:03:35]  Look, we like those documentaries, but the global warming part just gets so like, oh my gosh.
[00:03:39]  That's right. Do you like these polar bear cubs?
[00:03:43]  Well, you're killing them with your car.
[00:03:48]  Since you were born, it's been like a...
[00:03:50]  What's it called? Plus 20% more polar bears in the U.S. area.
[00:03:53]  Polar bears are doing well.
[00:03:55]  Just to make it look like a real nature documentary, we have to put in that...
[00:03:58]  We've got to put in that shiv of guilt in the side for free market capitalism.
[00:04:03]  It's killing all of their inhabitants.
[00:04:06]  Anyway, just look at that camouflage too, eh?
[00:04:09]  That's why I didn't see him.
[00:04:11]  Not because of my older eyes or anything, but because of the camouflage.
[00:04:15]  Oh yeah, I did. Oh yeah, so I was literally thinking right when we were at that pond.
[00:04:18]  Oh, did I just see something? I think it may have been a bird.
[00:04:20]  I'll be right back one second. Well, I guess I'll continue the show on my own.
[00:04:24]  I don't know if that showed up.
[00:04:28]  Yeah, so basically what happened was, what's it called?
[00:04:33]  I promise I was going to say something.
[00:04:34]  Oh yeah, I was just thinking, oh, I wish we could see a turtle today.
[00:04:37]  I mean, like, I've seen, yeah, the day we actually, we came, there was a turtle sitting on the road.
[00:04:41]  Yep. And then a turtle at the pond.
[00:04:43]  So that's two big turtles in one day.
[00:04:45]  But that's the day that I was talking about at the beginning of this live stream.
[00:04:48]  So I was just thinking now, I'm like, oh, we should see a turtle again here.
[00:04:52]  I mean, it'd be the perfect spot.
[00:04:53]  It even has that type of algae that we typically see on turtles if they've just come out of the water.
[00:04:57]  Right. It's kind of like weird kind of plant water clovers.
[00:05:00]  It's not exactly algae, but Anyways, then I'm like, oh my gosh, there's actually a turtle.
[00:05:04]  I was just thinking about one and we got a turtle.
[00:05:06]  Honestly, if I think there's going to be a bird that's about to poop on someone, it's a bird that's about to poop on someone.
[00:05:10]  I'm kidding. I tell you, that was actually a historic moment in the history of the internet because that was the first time a molyneux has ever lost a train of thought in a live stream or a show of any kind.
[00:05:19]  Yeah. Just first time ever.
[00:05:21]  No, what I mean by that is like the reason I was just thinking, oh, I wish we could see a turtle.
[00:05:25]  We're probably going to see one soon.
[00:05:26]  Yeah. Right? And then I'm like, oh, wow, we just saw one right after I was thinking we should see a turtle soon.
[00:05:30]  Yeah, yeah. So that was what I meant about like if I think a bird is about to poop on someone, the bird is about to poop on someone.
[00:05:36]  Yeah, don't ever say that. Yeah.
[00:05:38]  Now, this is interesting too.
[00:05:39]  So we, in our backyard, as I say, a couple of years ago, we, there were two turtles.
[00:05:45]  There was one of these dudes. Yeah.
[00:05:46]  And then there was a snapping turtle.
[00:05:47]  I saw them It was huge and gray and it barely had any of these patterns right here.
[00:05:53]  Now, first of all, this is how you know that turtles like jigsaw puzzles, number one.
[00:05:57]  Number two, that snapping turtle, I was picking it up to move it because it was kind of tangled.
[00:06:01]  And I picked it up from the side and the head came out like a tentacle.
[00:06:07]  Out like something out of an alien, like something would come out of someone's chest on a spaceship and kind of whipped around to the side and almost bit me.
[00:06:14]  So I just want to tell people, if you're thinking of touching a snapping turtle that's big, do not do it because their heads go on forever.
[00:06:21]  Last year we had two.
[00:06:22]  One of them was a About the size, a little bit smaller.
[00:06:25]  Yeah. And then another one was way smaller, like half of this, like that down.
[00:06:29]  And they were both snapping turtles.
[00:06:31]  They never bit anyone. In fact, they were very tame with me.
[00:06:33]  Like, I mean, they would just kind of sit around, you know, and let me pick them up.
[00:06:36]  But that's because they were little.
[00:06:38]  Now, if there was a snapping turtle that was, say, this big, I don't even think you can see my hands, say double that thing, those things will probably bite you.
[00:06:44]  So, yeah. And they are very, very snappy.
[00:06:47]  Yes, they are. All right.
[00:06:48]  Any other comments that we need to take care of?
[00:06:49]  We'll let people get on with their day.
[00:06:51]  I just thought this was too cool not to share.
[00:06:56]  Yes. I'm just reading the comments.
[00:06:58]  People should type a whole lot that's blurry. That's so rude.
[00:06:59]  Someone said it looks like a watermelon.
[00:07:01]  It does, but we're not going to put elastic bands around it until it explodes because that would be horrible.
[00:07:06]  That would be rich. Anything else important?
[00:07:08]  Safety stuff. Anybody know what it is? Philosophy soon?
[00:07:10]  No, you don't get philosophy.
[00:07:12]  Hang on. We're going to do a live stream in about 45 minutes.
[00:07:15]  I'm doing a live stream on the state of the world.
[00:07:16]  Oh gosh, that's soon. Okay, well, I'm going to make...
[00:07:17]  I'm going to make a nice habitat for this guy right here, and then I'm going to release him, like, very soon.
[00:07:23]  And I'm going to give him food. We actually have turtle food from last year, so...
[00:07:26]  Excellent. Turtle food.
[00:07:27]  We're not going to use the turtle for food.
[00:07:28]  We're going to feed him turtle food. No, yes.
[00:07:30]  All right. Bye, everyone!