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Jan. 10, 2020 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
27:46
SHUT UP MEN!
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Hey everybody, Stefan Molyneux from Free Domain.
Hope you're doing well. So, oh look, it's like I'm on top of my own head here on the picture.
So there's a conference coming up, the 22 convention called Make Women Great Again.
And it's 500 bucks to attend.
You can also volunteer and get cheaper tickets that way.
You can bring a friend. It's, you know, it's men getting together to talk about relationships and issues and health and masculinity and femininity and all that kind of stuff.
And apparently this is a slave rebellion that cannot be countenanced by the majority of people.
Now, of course, I did speak in October last year at the last one of these conventions.
I gave a great speech called What Men Really Want to Say to Women.
And it was so good, in fact, that YouTube actually let it squeak over 100,000 views, which is a Christmas miracle.
These days, I'll put a link to it below.
But yeah, men are getting together.
You know, the men who keep the majority of civilization running, pay the vast majority of taxes and so on.
Men are getting together to talk about issues.
And this, you see, cannot be allowed.
It is wrong!
And of course, feminists have now turned into the worst kind of patriarchs who don't, you know, the original patriarchs didn't want women getting together to talk about their issues.
And now, feminists have turned into just the same kind of bossy boots that's going on.
So, a woman did complain about this.
Her name's Meredith, and Meredith Masony, and she runs FilterFreeParents.com, I think, with a bunch of other women.
Now, my understanding, it's a little confusing.
She's a teacher. She's got a doctorate, I think, in education.
She works from home as well.
She runs all this stuff, and she is a mother to three children.
So... Let's see how her life's going, right?
Because we'll get to her video.
She's really, really upset that men are getting together and dare to say to women, gosh, maybe there's different ways you can do things that might make you happier, despite the fact that since the 1960s, since the onset of modern feminism, women have become unhappier and unhappier and unhappier and unhappier.
So... When you see, you know, the Farah Sacks getting rabidly unhappy, stressed and miserable and often with health issues and so on.
Well, it might be worth saying something's gone a little wrong here when you see women hysterical or at the end of their rope or constantly feeling overwhelmed.
Yeah, you know, it might be time to say maybe we could readjust things or retweak things and maybe men have something to say about this.
So this is Meredith.
This is from November 23rd, 2018.
The day mommy lost her shit.
She said, one of my biggest parenting fears has always been that I will royally screw up my kids.
They are relatively defenseless, and I've always been concerned with sending them straight to the therapist's couch.
One day, though, I had the kind of day my kids will definitely, at some point, relive in a therapist's office.
Now, this is all kind of like, ha, ha, ha, but this is seriously not funny, right?
See, I had the kind of day, like the day just kind of happened to her.
This is this passivity, like the women just feeling like pinballs running around from various stressors.
This is a lack of self-ownership that, you know, anybody who's running a conference about how to improve women's lot would say, you didn't have the kind of day.
Your life is in the West.
You have about as many freedoms as you could imagine, certainly more freedoms than any other women throughout history or men throughout history, for that matter.
So you don't have a day.
You plan a day.
You occur within your day.
You make choices within the day.
She said, remember this, on the days you lose it with your kids.
You know, one way to deal with this would be to say, don't lose it with your kids, and here's why.
So she said, spring break was upon her household like the bubonic plague.
This harshness against children, right?
So she's like, you know, the kids, they're so defenseless, I don't want to do anything bad, right?
Now, the first way she characterizes time with her kids at home, spring break was on her household like the bubonic plague.
Kids were crawling all over the place and I had 14 days worth of maximum security lockup to look forward to.
Right. So this woman, who's afraid of losing it with her kids, compares them to the bubonic plague and then compares spending time with them in a maximum security lockup, you know, where you get beaten up and raped on a regular basis.
So I work from home, she says, which has as many benefits as drawbacks.
One major drawback being I can't get my work done when my kids are home.
Well, yeah, because you're supposed to be a parent.
I tried to find camps to send them to, but that ship had sailed.
So lack of planning, right?
So she's feeling overwhelmed. She's got work to do.
So yeah, you could send camps too, but she left it too late.
She was disorganized and so on, right?
That's the old thing I learned in project management.
A failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
The week started out with the common daily issues we all face in our households.
There was a ton of screaming, crying, fist-fighting, food-throwing, running, and tattle-telling.
Yeah, that's not...
No. Absolutely.
That's not issues everyone...
Like, normalizing this kind of insane chaos is not how households run, Meredith.
Like, that's not how households run.
I mean, that's how your household run.
I assume that's how your friends' households run.
But that's not... Listen, I'm a parent.
It's not how my... I only have one child.
I fully understand that.
But I have friends who have three kids or four kids.
This is not how their households run at all, right?
She said, I was doing my best to keep it together.
I was stressed with work.
The demands of the three tiny hemorrhoids.
So, her kids are like the bubonic plague.
Spending time with them is like being in maximum security lockup.
And they are three tiny hemorrhoids.
They are, what, swollen anal blood vessels that are itchy and painful.
See, here's the thing, Meredith. Your kids know your opinion of them.
You can't hide it.
They absolutely know your opinion of them, and that's terrible, right?
I need to have my second surgery for the year.
And that's, you know, that's tough.
Those health issues.
So she had a cancer scare and all that.
And, you know, that's really, really tough.
But that's when you need to gear back on your work, right?
If you've got three kids at home and you know that the spring break is coming up, then you make sure you don't have work to do during the spring break.
If you've got a surgery during that time, you make sure you get help in and all that.
Like there's lots of things that you can do, right?
Day seven of the break, I got a letter in the mail from my homeowners association stating that we had violated our deed restrictions.
and owed a $100 fine I was livid! Anyway, blah blah blah.
I loaded everyone into the car and drove to the management office to pay my association fees and address my recent violation.
I jumped out of the van to discover that the office was closed, right?
So again, this is this chaos in these households.
I mean, if you go someplace and it's closed, it's because you forgot to check whether or not it was open.
Like just go online, make a phone call, right?
But there's all this chaos, right?
My blood began to boil.
I automatically texted my husband a list of obscenities that I could not blurt out in front of the kids.
So her husband is at work.
And he's getting, you know, MF this, F this, F the kids, or whatever's going on, right?
And it's like, what are you doing?
Your job is to manage the kids.
That's what you're being paid for by being home and having your husband pay the majority of the bills, right?
I boldly and feverishly texted that I was on the verge of throat-punching someone and buckled myself back into my seat.
Yeah, good luck getting a productive day at work, oh husband of this woman, while she's doing all this stuff to you.
On the drive home, the kids continued to fight over who was going to watch what when we got home.
One kid hit another kid with a book in the backseat, and I swung around screaming, if I have to pull this van over, you will not be happy.
My idle threat fell on deaf ears, right, because you're out of control.
And when you're out of control, it's overwhelming to the children.
They're terrified and they tune you out.
My idle threat fell on deaf ears as I continued home with the miniature tyrants.
Ah, you see, they're the tyrants.
She views them as bubonic plague, as being stuck in a prison, as hemorrhoids, and screaming at them, and she wants to curse at them.
But you see, they're the tyrants, right?
It's just projection. Screaming that they wanted to swim.
I tried to text my husband to calm me down, but he was in a meeting and couldn't respond.
Yes, I bet he was in a meeting.
Right? Is he texting you all day saying, I'm about to get fired.
I'm having a terrible meeting. I didn't close the sale.
Things are terrible. F this, F that.
I mean, that would make you kind of stressed, wouldn't it?
Well, same thing you to him.
We entered into the house and I ran to my office to check my voicemails.
Just as I had dialed the number, I heard two of my kids screaming and crying as though they were being mauled by a grizzly bear.
I ran from the office to find them fighting over a stuffed penguin.
Right? So why are you running to your office when your kids are upset, you're screaming at them?
She says screaming, right?
So why are you running into the office to check your voicemails?
Because, I don't know, like that's just weird.
Don't you sit there and work things out with your kids?
Alright, so at that moment I lost my shit and it was one of my worst parenting moments ever.
I couldn't take another second of the screaming and fighting.
It's like you're the parent.
You're supposed to deal with all of this stuff.
Why kids scream and fight is because parents don't sit down and figure out who was at fault and who's responsible and just you gotta have a full on court case the first time it happens and then kids don't get away with stuff.
She says, I grabbed the stuffed penguin and said, if you're going to fight over it, you're going to lose it.
it i then proceeded to make the penguin a double amputee by ripping his arms off i stuffed him in the garbage can and looked back at my kids they stood there in silence mortified that i had maimed the penguin from madagascar i shoved his mangled body in the trash can and smacked his beaten head with the lid he had made his way into an early grave now of course kids animate the stuff in her mind in their minds Like, it's a living thing for them.
It's their friend. It's their invisible friend or whatever, right?
So she ripped the arms off and bashed its head with the lid.
Even I stood there in shock.
I was now a stuffed animal murderer.
The kids took one look at me and were off like a bat out of hell and ran for their rooms.
I followed, screaming hysterically about their constant fighting, and continued my rant for about five more minutes.
Nothing in my path was safe.
I slammed chairs, threw toys, clothing, and shoes.
As I walked past a mirror in the living room, I caught a glimpse of myself and I stopped.
I looked like a crazy lunatic.
I needed to find my shit and put it back together.
I went to the bathroom and cried for a few minutes.
Then I walked back out of the living room and sat all of the kids on the couch.
I apologized. I cried.
They cried and we all hugged.
My son looked at me and quietly asked if he could have his penguin back.
I explained that he was now in a better place and he said, no, he is in a trash can.
Anyway, so that's her parenting, right?
I've never raised my voice of my daughter.
I've never hurt any of her toys.
I mean, that would be monstrous.
It's a form of emotional terrorism. What else has she got to say?
Well, I'll put the links to all this below.
She says, I'm a liar. 13 white lies I tell on a...
Daily basis, this is I was going to do that.
I promise I will be there on time.
I will go to the store later. Yes, I saw you.
I will wash it. I'm awake.
I heard you I remember blah blah blah I couldn't find a sitter I'd love to help so yeah, she lies to her children and I guess her husband continually and then she wonders why her kids have trouble with Negotiation and all that so this is not her but on her blog stay at home mom depression is real and She's got Based on what society tells working moms from her blog, I'm ready to lean out.
That's a reference to... Was it Sheila Sandberg's lean in?
Anyway. Ten signs.
This is from Meredith herself.
Ten signs your toddler is a terrorist.
Every toddler is a terrorist at some point.
Your toddler loves the element of surprise.
Your toddler rules for fear. Your toddler is a master of disguise.
Your toddler has a growing list of demands.
Your toddler might have a personality disorder.
Your toddler is secretive.
Anyway, so this is just...
Your toddler uses psychological torture tactics.
Just crazy, right?
Now, she's also got mom fashion, which is, I guess, the post-secret stuff, which is going on, and...
There are days, this is his mom, says that there are days I want to run away from them all.
I sometimes fantasize about getting a hotel room for a couple days to go nowhere special but just to take a vacation for my kid and husband.
I have ran through the Taco Bell drive-thru to order an orange creamsicle slushie and told my kids there was nothing here they would eat.
I have eaten ice cream in front of my toddler and told her it was broccoli.
It just goes on and on.
And one, this is really, really rough.
I said, my husband and I have a son who is five.
He's having difficulties in school because he's developmentally delayed.
When he was two, he had lead poisoning.
I bought a coloring book and crayons.
They were from China. And he ate two of the crayons.
And that's just horrendous.
My nine-year-old son is driving me crazy with the constant talking back.
Today I felt like backhanding him completely because of the incessant arguing.
I always prided myself on not losing it, but now I'm sick of the arguing.
We left a store and I lost it in the car because apparently he's part of the debate team.
I really want him to express himself without the constant need to.
And, I mean, the website doesn't really work.
If you click this, then you're supposed to get more, but it just takes you back to the sort of homepage.
Is it crazy to say that this is not great?
What's going on here? So anyway, so this is the woman herself.
And this is so she got some invite or heard something about it.
She says, there is a conference in Orlando where a group of men teach women how to be great again.
Here are my tiny lady brain thoughts, right?
So she's sarcastic and all that kind of stuff, right?
So what does she have to say about all of this?
2020 is starting off with a massive bang.
So somebody has invited me to the Make Women Great Again convention.
I can't make this up.
This is a legitimate thing that is happening.
It is a convention taught by men to make women great again.
Right, so men are going to express what they prefer, what they need, what they like, how women could be better in relationships with men.
In other words, there's one conference here that's going on versus, say, 50,000 years of women telling men what they want in relationships.
Or, you know, if you just go to feminism, like 100 years, 70 years, whatever you want to call it, women have been telling men how to be better in relationships, how to better serve their needs.
But you see, the moment that there's like 0.00001% of men expressing their needs and saying what would be better for men in relationships, it's apparently it's just completely wrong, evil, bad, and must be crushed.
*music* So just hunker down for a hot minute.
Let me tell you about this convention.
For $2,000...
Okay, that's not true.
It's not $2,000. $2,000 is the price you pay if you show up the day off because, of course, it's tough to plan a conference when...
You don't know how many people are attending.
So you can get in for $500.
You can even get cheaper if you want to volunteer and so on.
And for a couple of days conference, $500 is a good deal.
And if it helps improve your relationship, it helps staves off a divorce.
If it helps you lose weight and exercise and be healthier, it's money well spent.
Listen, I spent, I don't know, $20,000 on talk therapy, some of the best money I ever spent.
Which is the price of a ticket.
And I had to write this down because I have a tiny little pea-sized woman brain.
Ooh, that shrill, sarcastic tone.
Nice car, though.
I mean, I guess her husband's doing pretty well.
It's good that he's paying for stuff, I guess.
The event promises to cover all topics that are currently ruining relationships for women, including, but not limited to, feminism, infertility, acting too confident, body positivity...
Okay, so, yes.
I mean, this woman is texting a string of obscenities to her husband because she can't handle her job of being a mom, which she regularly abandons to go check voicemail and then murders the child's toys.
So, you know, it might not be the end of the world to get just a little bit of feedback.
And so the issues, right?
So what are the issues that are going to be talked about here, right?
incompetent, body positive, but not limited to feminism.
Right.
So yes, there are significant issues regarding feminism and relationships.
For this particular reason, I assume this woman is pro-feminist, and does she have an input or is it all output?
Like, does she have a way of hearing what men want, what other people want?
I guarantee you, Meredith, your husband does not want you texting obscenities at him in the middle of his workday and having him freak out and panic about what's happening at home.
He doesn't want that.
Now, why isn't he telling you that?
Because you don't really have much of an input, it would seem, right?
And so, yeah, feminism is a challenge.
And as feminism has grown, women have become more and more and more unhappy.
So yeah, feminism is important to talk about.
Infertility.
Yeah, infertility is a huge issue for couples, particularly because women are told that you you graduate from high school, you go to university, maybe some post-grad, and then you have a career, and then you can do everything, you can have it all, and then you start looking for a man in your 30s, and, you know, 90% of a woman's eggs are dead by the time she's 30, 97% by the time she's 40, and so, yeah.
Infertility is a huge issue.
It's a big strain. It really lowers a woman's sexual market value.
And it's very expensive.
It's very emotionally heartbreaking.
We're not just talking infertility like you can't get pregnant.
I mean, what about all the miscarriages that occur for women in their 30s and all of the expensive IVF treatments and injections and it's wretched.
So yeah, it's an issue.
I don't get the acting too confident thing, although, you know, that's an Aristotelian mean.
Body positivity is the idea that you can be healthy no matter how fat you are, which is just absolutely false.
Yeah, that's...
I mean, I talked to the conference organizer.
There's nothing there about we want women to not have self-respect.
I mean, come on, what a load of nonsense.
You two can learn how to be the most amazing, most wonderful, most feminine woman by a group of men.
And you can hear, men!
You know, this is venomous, like, men.
So, why?
Why can't men talk about what they prefer in a relationship?
Why can't men talk about what they like in a relationship at all?
Are you not allowed to talk about what you like in a relationship?
Well, you are, right? So what's wrong with men saying what they want in a relationship?
Because women have gotten out of control lately, and it is time that we...
Okay, so she's saying that, what, a complaint of men is that women have gotten out of control?
And this is kind of a standard trope.
Oh, women are... Men are terrified of strong women.
That's all nonsense, right?
So she has...
A whole blog post about how she ripped the arms off her toddler after texting her husband, screaming at her children.
She ripped the arms off her toddler's toy.
Sorry, a bit of a correction there.
She ripped the arms off her toddler's toy, beat its head with a garbage can lid, and rampaged through the house, destroying things.
And then she's saying, well, how can men imagine that women are out of control?
Yeah. What? She's got a whole confession about this.
We stop having self-respect and that we do every single thing that our husbands want us to.
Get this? So, we do every single thing that our husbands want us to?
Like, how is that part of the conference?
It's not. It's just fantasy.
Anyway. This course is guaranteed to raise your femininity by 500%.
By 500%.
How in the hell do you get that percentage?
How do you increase your femininity by 500%?
You probably have to stop wearing sweatpants.
I'm out. I'm out.
I'm out. Oh, so if her husband wants her to stop wearing sweatpants, and, you know, it's fine, no makeup, I have no particular issue with that, but yeah, I mean, she's dressed a little bit like a hobo, and there is a, oh, I just noticed that, there's Spider-Man in the backseat, I guess that's her car seat and all that.
So, yeah, the 500% thing, I mean, I don't know.
I mean, who cares about that?
Increase your femininity, right?
But this is a problem.
We are in 20, the year is 2020, and we have men who are having conventions to teach women how to be better women.
This course promises...
Right? I don't know why she's half screaming at the camera, right?
I mean, this outrage, this rage at men having a say in relationships.
Oof. Hi, I'm Maintenance.
...that you will be able to get pregnant and have unlimited babies.
Who needs to have unlimited babies?
I have three, and I have no sanity left.
Why? Okay, so she has this straw man that men think women are out of control, and she says she has three babies in 2020 with a dishwasher, with laundry in-house, with a comfortable house, with a nice car, kids in school, and she's just lost her mind, right?
So, but... On earth would you want to knock up a woman so frequently that she has unlimited babies?
Okay, nobody's promising anybody unlimited babies.
I mean, I hate to say hysteria because it's a bit of a, well, you know what I mean, but that's what this is.
What are you thinking about?
It also promises that if you take this course for $2,000, you can beat the competition and be the ultimate wife.
I think... Okay, so what's wrong with being the ultimate wife?
I mean, I try to be the ultimate husband.
I listen to my wife about what she wants and we have discussions about how to be happier with each other, how to be better partners for each other.
What's wrong with being the ultimate wife?
Wouldn't you want to be the very best wife for your husband just as you want your husband to be the very best husband for you?
I think my head has exploded.
Has my head exploded? I feel like my head has exploded.
I think... Let me check my Fitbit.
What is my resting heart rate?
Oh, it's 9,000.
This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.
First of all, how is a...
Well, this kind of extremism, like I get this on Twitter, like I post something that somebody finds mildly controversial.
It's the most insane thing I've ever heard.
It's like, you know, just take a breath.
You weren't on the Ukrainian airliner shot down by Iran.
You know, just take a breath.
It's just a different opinion. It's just men getting together to talk about how relationships between men and women can be improved.
It's not the end of the world.
It's not Ebola. It's Just conversations between men.
No, no, no.
See, she switched it, right? How to be the ultimate wife.
Of course a man has an opinion on how you should be an ultimate wife, because as a wife, you are relating to him, right?
He's providing services to you, and you are providing services to him.
I know that sounds kind of sexual.
It's not, of course, right? But...
Of course, men are on the receipt.
It's like you run a pizza shop and you say, how on earth are customers supposed to define what is the ultimate pizza or the best pizza?
It's like, well, they're the ones consuming the product, right?
And as a husband, right?
I mean, your wife is providing a relationship service to you.
And as a husband, you are providing a relationship service to your wife.
So, of course, she gets the say in what makes the ultimate husband.
And of course, the husband gets a say in what makes the ultimate wife.
And now she's just changed it to the ultimate woman because whatever.
Do you want to make sure that we're doing all your dishes and scrubbing your toilet and cooking you and serving you every meal and making sure that we bring you a beer the second you sit down and sit and tell you how wonderful you are and cup your balls?
Get the hell out of here!
Wow. Oh man, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. How about you ask your husband, How you could be a better wife, just as your husband should ask you how he can be a better husband.
I'm continually asking my family, just as I ask my listeners, just as I ask people, how am I doing?
Am I doing well? Could I do better?
What do you like? What do you not like?
There's nothing wrong with getting some feedback.
Is there? I don't understand this.
That is not an ultimate man.
An ultimate man is somebody who helps him.
Oh, wait a minute. Oh, dear.
Oh, dear. Look at this, my friends.
Can you imagine? She now is talking about what is an ultimate man.
No, she's not allowed to do that, of course.
Because, you see, men can't tell women how to be women or wives.
So how can she possibly, as a woman, tell a man how to be a man?
His wife, raise those unlimited children.
The ultimate man listens to his wife.
The ultimate man knows that he is, in fact, not an ultimate woman.
And he couldn't possibly teach a woman how to be an ultimate woman.
Oh, so she can teach a man how to be an ultimate man, but men can't say anything about her.
Or how to be a woman, right?
That seems totally equitable.
He is an equal partner.
He is somebody who shows up for her just like she shows up for him.
It is... I don't know if you know what that means.
It's really important that you show up for me.
What, like on your retinas?
On radar? On a Doppler shift?
On infrared? What does that mean?
2020! In my mind, we are two days in, people!
My mind is blown!
What are you thinking?
Orlando, why are you hosting this event?
Shame, shame on you!
Stop being the sphincter!
The shame language.
Shame. Look at that fear.
My gosh.
I mean...
My female heroes were very, very strong people.
They weren't necessarily freaking out because some men were getting together to chat with women about...
can be improved between the you know you've got you know significant divorce rates you've got a lot of unhappiness you've got women getting more depressed you've got pair bonding collapsing under the weight of infinite sexual encounters that turn to be nothing and you've got a quarter of women over 40 on antidepressants you know the state of the genders the state of the sexes is not good and I don't know what's so terrifying I I mean, maybe she's afraid that her husband's going to go and say, hey, maybe you'd like to have things a bit more equitable.
For the rest of the year, women, be exactly who you are supposed to be and don't let anybody tell you different.
Go on with your body positivity.
Go on with your self-respect, for the love of all things holy.
Go on with being confident in your skin and knowing who you are.
Make Women Great Again.
This guy needs to shut his damn pie hole, okay?
He has lost his ever-loving mind.
Wait, which guy is this?
I don't know what she's talking about.
Which guy? I mean, is this some guy who invited her?
Is this not an official email, as far as I can tell, from the organization?
So, anyway. Hey, Make Women Great Again Convention, why don't you call me?
I've got a couple of courses you're probably not offering on the class schedule.
I can help you out.
Okay, so she wants to come and teach men how to be the way she wants them to be, but men aren't allowed to make any suggestions about how women are supposed to be.
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