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April 18, 2024 - The Roseanne Barr Podcast
01:11:02
Gutfeld! The King of Late Night | The Roseanne Barr Podcast #44
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Greetings, earthlings and humans and any animals who, you know, of the animal kingdom.
Everybody tells me when their animals hear my voice, they stop and they're transfixed because, you know, the melodious tones and all that.
Animals are, you know, able to like really be able to feel some high intelligence kind of thing.
So hi, animals, humans and earthlings and all of you.
I'm very excited for my show today at the Roseanne Bar I've got to get the name in there or Jake will get mad at
me.
Welcome to the Roseanne Barr Podcast and it's going to be another buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-banger,
because we have such a great guest to talk to.
Ladies and gentlemen, the king of late night television himself, Greg Gutfield.
Hi!
Yay!
Stop everybody.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Yeah, the busboy over there.
Yes.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm more excited than you are.
I'm so excited.
I can't believe it.
I cannot believe it.
I mean, I'm not trying to be a fanboy or everything, but come on, you're Roseanne Barr.
Probably the most successful female comedian in 50 years, maybe longer.
Probably.
Yeah.
Probably like stand up.
Stand up.
But I don't really know because Amy Schumer, she says she is because she's done the movies.
So she did like movies.
So she says she's the most successful female stand up.
But I'm like, yeah, but we mean funny.
Yes.
I like Amy Schumer.
You're great, but you're no John F. Kennedy.
What was that line, like they said about John F. Kennedy to Dan Quayle, was it Al Gore?
Like, I like Amy Schumer, you're great, but you're no John F. Kennedy.
She's no Roseanne Barr, but nobody is.
Nobody is.
Oh, you're so sweet.
You know, when I'm really drunk, I really will agree with you there.
When I'm really drunk and I start going off to my son, these people, but you know, try not to go there to the edge, you know, because you said you quit drinking.
Yes, yes.
I stopped.
It was the only drug I hadn't tried was sobriety.
I had done everything and it was getting harder and harder to get anything out of it.
And I'm going like, what about this thing where you don't do anything?
And then it was amazing.
It is, uh, I'm literally, and I hate to say this because it sounds like a hippie thing, but I'm high.
Like when I get up in the morning, because I, I've never had mornings before.
Like I get up and I'm like, I feel good.
I feel good.
What is this thing?
There used to be all these problems I had.
Usually I'd be depressed or anxious and all that stuff.
It might still pop up here and there, but it's amazing.
A lot of that moodiness and weirdness and ambivalence kind of drifted away and I'm actually interested in things.
I didn't quit drinking because I thought, what would I do with all that time?
And it turns out you can do a lot of stuff.
You can do weird things, like go for walks.
I would never go for a walk.
I thought that walking was for losers.
Like, what are you going to walk to?
Are you going for a walk?
How stupid is that?
Because you'd rather be sitting there drinking than chatting, but it's about chatting, isn't it?
You know what it is?
Drinking was about being with your thoughts.
Yeah, and and work in in hypothesizing, like, it's almost like beta testing the future.
I love doing that.
But at the same time, it's like I was also just avoiding things.
And I was incredibly I was as I got more and older, I was just becoming more antisocial.
Like I was no longer drinking with other people.
I would avoid, I was like, I'm not going to go to a bar.
I have to wait for a waiter.
I have to wait for a bartender.
There are other people there.
I just, you know, just go home, get a bottle of wine.
So it just became more isolational.
And I decided, you know what, I got it.
It's time.
It's time.
2024 is coming up.
I got to be ready.
Yeah, there's a big fight.
So did you get sober or did you just quit drinking?
I got sober.
I mean, I didn't go to any rehab.
It was just it's a click went off in my head.
And, and I just been thinking about it.
I've been thinking about it for a while, but I always put it off.
And then for some reason, I just decided that's it.
And, and that was it.
And then I've been like, you know, I think it's because also you got so busy.
I mean, you're doing this show and you can't feel bad.
You have to be able to Exactly.
And you have to kind of be able to not put all your shit on other people.
And when you're drinking, you do.
And it's just like, you know, if you're not feeling well, then no one else is either.
And I just had to like, you know, maybe if I just tried this other drug, what would
happen? And then, and then all of a sudden, it's like, things are pretty good. But it was
always the fear of what the rest of your life is like if you quit. Well, you can always start back. That's
what I tell myself. Yeah. That's how I could quit smoking. I swear to God, because I'm like,
you can stop a while and then start again if you really want to.
Just, yeah, you just don't, you know, the line is you don't drink for today.
I don't drink today.
You know, who knows what will happen tomorrow?
And then tomorrow I'll say, well, I don't drink, I don't drink then.
And then all of a sudden you start racking up the days, you know, and pretty soon you got months and then years.
I'm not at years yet, but you know, we'll see.
How long are you at?
It seems like you're liking it and feeling good.
I'm into my eighth month.
That's good.
Yeah, so it's good.
But things are going well.
I am busy.
What's it like to like, I mean, because we were talking before, I mean, it's such a cultural shift, and nobody's talking about it, because they don't want to talk about anything real or anything that They don't want to define what's really happening, but it's a huge cultural shift that a conservative comedy show, and it is really well written and really funny, and I like that comics can say things on there and they don't have to act like goons.
Yes.
You know, they aren't dancing with hypodermic needles and shit like that.
But you know, you're saying something and it's a cultural shift because it's more to the conservative side.
And these guys, I mean, they're just drowning in unfunny.
And they're scared.
They're scared.
I do think it all came down to speech.
Because think about the shift.
The fact that like, You're no longer in this camp.
And the show is successful.
And they all have something in common.
It's the freedom to say what you want.
And once the left and liberals gave that up, we snatched it.
Yeah, we did.
We snatched it and we ran with it.
And you can tell how, like, uncomfortable Yeah, we do.
medians of the left are when they know that there's a line they can't cross.
Meanwhile, you and I, we can say whatever we want and we share the risk.
You get in trouble, I will defend you.
If I get in trouble, I know you will.
But I mean, you know what I mean?
It's like we understand that we're here to say what we think.
And if that goes away, what's left to do?
Then we'll be unfunny.
Yeah.
You know what?
It is like that we have the right to punch up and they don't.
Yeah.
They got to the ceiling.
It's kind of like a glass ceiling or some other kind of ceiling where they cannot punch up because they're too scared.
But then they have to punch down.
Yeah.
And it's never funny to punch down.
I mean, sometimes it is.
They accuse us.
If you're fat or drunk or something.
They accuse us of punching down when we go after any kind of identity group, which I believe is punching up.
I do too!
Because anybody that professes that they have a higher, I don't know, they have rights because they're victims, they're above you.
Well, that they have the high moral ground when they don't.
Yes.
And so like, how dare you, you know, I do a lot of stuff on trans and they go, you're punching down to go, no, I'm not.
They have more rights now, according to the left.
That's right.
You know what I mean?
If a man can play, you know, go swimming against women in college sports, I think he has more rights.
Well, girls, a man against girls.
Exactly.
And it's like, so to me, it's like, such a continuation of the worst of patriarchy that you can come to.
But they don't even see it, because they're so brainwashed, because the left really thinks
it controls thought and language.
And so all they do is bomb it up meaningless bullshit that nobody thinks is funny.
The worst at this are women.
And you know, Michael Malice, you know, Michael Malice, right?
Love.
He came up with this great acronym called OFFALS.
Yes.
Affluent White Female Liberals.
Women are so quick to throw other women under the bus.
Oh, they can't wait.
And that's what happened to me.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh my god, they're always clutching their pearls, even though they probably think pearls are, like, patriarchal.
Yeah.
And they will actually indulge a man who has gynephilia.
Absolutely.
You know, he gets off on drugs.
They will say that that person has more rights than the women.
That's right.
And it's like, where are the female teachers?
Peepers.
These guys are peepers.
Yes.
A lot of them are fucking peepers.
That's what we used to call them.
Peeping Toms.
Yeah.
Remember that?
And they're over there saying, come on in.
Yeah.
Peep this here.
Yeah.
And then they're like, you're not having a peeper.
You transphobe.
And I'm like, you know what?
It's just like, okay.
Once we got COVID, you remember how there was no flu anymore?
Right.
Well, now there's no more transvestites.
That's true.
And there's no more peepers.
The nudists must feel like there's cultural appropriation going on.
I remember growing up in the 70s, they were always called transvestites or crossdressers.
What Corporal Klinger?
Remember Corporal Clinger from M.A.S.H.?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like now he's like, he should be mad.
Jamie Farr should be upset.
I think he's flattered.
He thinks that he's really started something.
Yes, yes.
The 70s had it down with that stuff.
Like Barney Miller had like a great- That was a great show.
Yeah, they had like a great gay character.
But now it's like everything is so serious and solemn and like, you know- And not funny.
And not funny.
They've got a whole law against whatever.
That's how I felt when I went back to come back, you know.
It was like the war against funny.
Yeah.
The gauntlet against funny.
That can't be funny.
You know, it's a gauntlet.
Yeah.
And of course, I fought.
And when we got last and feel vanquished and vindicated, but I mean, now it's like, it needs to be this.
In lieu of a real belly laugh.
They hate it.
It's like when you now watch the, like, okay, in the mid to late 70s, watching the Oscars was like a group thing.
It was fun.
Now you watch it and you can just feel the stress.
of the people talking, like they're like, everybody has to be careful
and all the nominees have to be a specific kind of thing.
And everybody is so careful.
It's like, there is no joy.
That to me is the pinnacle of joy.
Yeah, the joy is gone.
The joy of comedy, the joy of creating something, the joy of when you've got a good idea
and everybody's in on it, like doing a show.
Yeah, exactly.
Like the Mickey Rooney old thing of, let's put on a show.
They just killed that.
They just murdered it in its crib.
They're just horrible.
Oh, they're horrible, you know?
And they hate it when they see success on the other side.
They have to like, oh, there are things, oh, that's not funny.
That's not funny.
Oh, you know, it was always conservatives can't be funny, but now they won't even talk about it.
Adam Carolla told me that it's so personal over there on the other side that they have to pretend it doesn't exist.
Like they've got horse blinders on.
Yes.
They can't see.
And of course, they've totally written me out of the entire social... Yes.
You know, it's pretty amazing when they... I did three guest spots on the show, The Office, you know?
Oh, yeah!
And somebody just told me they wrote a book about all the guests, people that guested, I don't know how great they were as guest stars.
I'm not even mentioned.
And I was on three times.
It's like she never existed, which was how it was when I first came.
It's like that woman, why is she not serving us coffee and she's criticizing our scripts?
You know, it was that kind of like, so arrogant in leadership.
And you know, who made that decision?
Okay, it was a combination of like some young person, like a Gen Z or somebody who can't write and can't tell jokes, but you know, makes themselves important by making these decisions.
Like, you know what, I think a lot of people You know, a lot of people might be uncomfortable.
That's exactly what they say.
Yeah, I think, you know, maybe, you know, maybe it wouldn't hurt to, you know, I just want, no, you know what the word is?
I just want people to feel safe.
Everybody now has to feel safe.
And it's like they've ruined the phrase safe.
Remember when it was when art was supposed to be unsafe?
Yeah, it's supposed to make you think and feel and react.
Like, I remember, like, you know, artists would do terrible things.
Terrible thing.
Now they're like, they have to like make sure there's a there's a a play in England right now that has a trigger warning against eating oranges.
Did you know this?
Because the people on stage are eating oranges.
It's a it's a it's a play about like transphobia.
It's a queer play, but they're worried because the characters are eating oranges, that it might be might cause some kind of like PTSD.
What's the trigger of eating oranges?
It's called Misophonia, which is like you have a fear of hearing certain sounds.
Oh, yeah, that's like married women with their husbands.
I've heard of it.
Like, no, that's the true thing.
Like you want to hit your husband in the head when you hear him chew.
Is it that?
Maybe, but I think that they've probably made it into something worse.
I mean, I don't like it when people eat you.
No, it makes you want to hit them.
But like, that's, like, if you're going to a play and you can't handle that.
You can't handle watching someone eat an orange.
It's just too far.
That's what it is.
That makes me applaud for the possibility of the hydrogen bomb dropping on all of us.
Do you think John Waters could make his old movies?
No.
Like Pink Flamingos or anything like that?
No, I mean, maybe he could.
I mean, they're more relevant now than ever.
Anything he ever did is so relevant right now.
Yeah, female trouble.
Yeah.
Yeah, female trouble, desperate living.
They were all disgusting.
We showed them to our kids.
Desperate living, I saw when I was nine years old.
He's done my show.
He's the same person.
Yeah.
He smokes like five packs of Kool's a day.
Isn't that incredible?
I used to smoke that much.
Yeah.
Who would have thought that hairspray would be the thing that probably made him incredibly rich?
Right?
Like a musical, you know, I guess that was what it was.
A movie and then a musical.
About hairspray.
Right, yeah.
But it was cute.
Yeah.
Yeah, that he'd be remembered for cute content.
Exactly.
They only knew!
They only knew!
That must torture him somehow.
It really must.
He's so funny, though.
He's great.
I love all his.
That's my dream, and I did talk to him about it way back, about my dream is to be the girl, or whatever.
I want to make a movie like that.
Yeah.
About my childhood.
I just want to make a movie and I was just talking to people that have made movies about.
You should make a movie about your life.
Right?
Yeah.
You know, uh, nobody would believe it.
Yeah, but it's, I mean, come on.
I mean, it's like every, it's so many twists and turns.
Yeah.
And it's, it's like, you know, what drove me crazy was that show, The Marvelous Ms.
Maisel.
Oh yeah.
She was a writer of mine.
Yeah.
Um, oh, the, the, the wait, the girl that made it?
Yeah.
Oh, then I won't criticize.
I was going to say that the comic wasn't funny to me.
I don't even know.
I was like, well, she was Amy was a good writer.
But yeah, they probably you don't want to type weird.
Well, you know how they do.
It's the serious thing.
They're like, I mean, that's how I think.
Well, because they don't have the people they don't have any sense of humor.
They don't like comedy.
They hate.
They hate humor even more than they hate comedy.
And they hate witty.
And they hate funny, that's intelligent. They really despise that because
they don't get it. But they don't get anything above a base joke anyway. So they're probably
like, I don't laugh. So it's their fault.
Yeah. So you can't have them. And anyway, we want somebody that looks like a model.
Yeah. Have you lost any comedian friends from old from the old days who won't talk to you or
anything? Oh, yeah. All the women? Yeah, of course. But of course. Yeah, yeah.
Some not some but yeah, I mean, yeah. I mean, they painted.
I mean, something. This is something I'm in the middle of now
looking at how they do how they weave a whole spell around people. They get they get a target and
then they weave a hole. But you know, I'll do something with it. Everybody's talking about doing
something and I don't know if I want to.
But maybe I will.
But you know, who knows?
I'm old now.
So I don't know.
You can do whatever you want.
You can do whatever the fuck you want.
Well, I kind of want to do this.
I kind of wrote this sitcom for myself, you know, and I was visiting an idol of mine yesterday, which was the first time I had met her.
Anyway, so we were... Didn't you say who it was?
Well, it was Elaine May.
Oh wow, yes!
Oh my god, it was awesome.
They say she never invites anybody and she invited me.
How old is she?
I think 91?
Well, as I asked her, she said she's not at liberty to say.
But she invented a whole genre of comedy, which I thanked her on behalf of all my friend comic.
My god, she introduced, you know, that whole improv.
Yeah.
She and Mike Nicholson.
You know, how that just changed generations forever.
And she's still so funny.
And so I was watching her movies and all like that.
And she said, just get a guy with a camera.
And then we were talking about, well, when you're funny and you can see funny and you can write funny, you don't really need more than a guy with a camera.
Cause you start thinking, oh, I need the staff and the produce.
That's where it goes bad.
That's what I wanted to talk to you about is the funny that you're doing.
Now, I know that we were doing our research on you, and we knew that you were at Berkeley, and that's when you started to... I mean, there's two streams that I want to talk to you about.
One is waking up from being at Berkeley, and realizing that you're at Berkeley.
And two, then becoming, like, Who you are now because you were in you went to men's editing.
Yeah, I was.
Yeah, I was.
Well, I mean, first, I was I was a romantic liberal because it got you a lot of attention and extra credit.
I remember when I when I was in high school, if we Mark, if we got signatures for the nuclear freeze in California, we could get extra credit.
That's what I did at my high school.
And then so I got, I wanted to go to Berkeley.
And of course, when I got there, my romantic view of liberalism was faced with the reality of it.
And I was, I saw, I saw them up close and I go, my God, these people are crazy.
I mean, they were crazy.
And, and also I started meeting people that weren't like, uh, that actually read.
And I realized I wasn't reading a lot.
And I found, I started reading National Review and this other magazine called American Spectator, which I ended up working for, for like a year.
And I just started to kind of educate myself on a world that I didn't know existed.
I was just, I just thought liberalism was all there is.
I didn't even like, even with Ronald Reagan, I just thought he was a president.
I didn't understand what, like my parents probably voted for him, but they were Democrats.
But I didn't really know that there was much difference.
Not that there is anymore, really, except for Trump.
But I mean, it's like, there was, you know, I didn't, I didn't think much about it.
I remember when Reagan won in 84.
A guy came back.
I was living in a fraternity and he was screaming with joy.
And I was like, what's the big deal?
I didn't even understand it.
And it wasn't until later that it started to put it together.
And I started to think for myself and I started reading.
And then I started to realize that the reason why I held liberal beliefs was because they were easy.
And they made me look smarter than I was.
And the false compassion of it all, like to pretend that you care.
And I realized this with liberal compassion, is that it's the opposite because it never factors in the consequences for the other people.
So like you can say your compassion about trans athletes, but you're actually not compassionate to the other athletes,
but you don't address that.
And if you look at immigration, I am compassionate about those claiming asylum to come across,
but you're not actually compassionate to all the people where their jobs are being displaced,
or the people that waited in line, did all the right things.
So you ignore, they don't understand the consequences of their so-called
compassion.
Crime!
I'm for, like, criminal justice reform.
No bail.
No bail.
You know, blah, blah, blah.
And then when they hear that the recidivist has then committed eight more crimes and beat up women, you don't look at that.
You don't look at that.
So I started to learn that there was a whole other side to my beliefs that I hadn't looked at.
That changed me.
In terms of magazines... That would be like... That's a...
It's kind of an awakening and an expansion of a moral view, isn't it?
Yes, yes.
And I didn't have that before.
I swung from one end to the other, and then I started becoming a crazy little right-winger.
I went to an animal rights concert where the B-52s were playing, and I was handing out like, like stickers that said, nuke the whales.
Just really, oh, there was a one that said, I, you know, they have like, I heart baby seals.
It was the club.
I club baby.
And I was handing these out.
That's how, so it was, I kind of probably went a little too far.
But, but that, and that was in DC when I was an intern.
And then I ended up, you know, writing, trying to learn to write, well, trying to learn to write for magazines and stuff.
I ended up as the fitness editor of Prevention Magazine.
I don't know if you remember Prevention.
I do.
Yeah.
And then from there, I hopped over to Men's Health, became the editor.
I was fired from there after doing a piece called The Best Colleges for Men.
This is like 1990, no 2000, 2000.
1990, no 2000, 2000.
And I was, we were seeing how things were changing where against kids, boys.
Yeah, that's about the year where people started talking about it too.
Yeah, and so I said that I think the worst college for men, I can't remember what it was, but it turned out to be the CEO's alma mater, so I was done.
And then I went to Stuff Magazine, was the editor there, moved to Maxim in the UK, and then I ended up kind of coming back.
And ended up as working at Red Eye.
In between there, I was doing a lot of other weird things, but Red Eye was my first TV show.
Didn't know what the fuck I was doing.
Had no idea.
Fox basically said, I showed up there and they said, so we're going to do a show.
And I thought, I figured like three months and they go, yeah, so you're going to rehearse for a couple of days and then we're going to go live on Monday.
I was shitting myself.
I was drinking.
Drinking during the rehearsals, drinking before the show, drinking after the show.
Me and the other panelists would go to this bar and we'd be like, what are we doing?
Within five months, it became something fun.
It was like, all of a sudden, we figured it out.
You're not supposed to care.
You're not supposed to care.
Why do you care?
Who cares if you screw up?
That's part of the show.
And then all of a sudden, it became such a weird cult phenomenon, and we started getting numbers.
We were beating Morning Joe.
I remember that.
At three in the morning, we were beating Morning Joe at NBC, which is on at nine.
And we started just getting- That's amazing.
That's college kids, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And also like insomniacs, truck drivers, you know, it was- I remember like we had our core audience was like breast feeders.
I'm sorry, chest feeders.
Oh, yeah.
Say that in the demographic.
Yeah, but it was- and then they started the five and it was like, Ailes was like, put this guy in there, maybe see what happens.
And You know, it was, you know, it just fucking took off.
That thing was like, crazy.
Yeah, that was crazy.
And it's like, yeah, and then I got my show on the weekends, and then that became nightly.
And I did, you know, it's funny, I've got to talk about this, because I did not want to do the nightly show, because I was already doing the five and the weekly show, I didn't want to target on my back.
This is like 2017.
Hey, 20, no, maybe it's like 2020.
And I was like, I didn't want I didn't want the problem.
I was, I was making decent money.
I had enough work to do.
You mean to go into late night?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was just going to do my show.
You thought it was going to be like a Joan Rivers thing.
Remember how they tried to kill her for late night?
Yeah.
But also everybody was, it was canceled culture.
And I remember telling the boss, I go like, I don't think, you know, I'm going to think about it.
And I talked to one late night host, Dennis Miller, and he said, Greg, you got a good thing going, don't you, blah, blah, blah.
And he convinced me, don't do it.
And then I called Tucker.
And I go, yeah, Tucker.
And I, oh, I'd already made up my mind.
I wasn't doing it.
I'm not doing the show.
And something made me think.
I should just call Tucker.
I go, Hey, Tucker.
I go, so Fox offered me this nightly thing.
And he goes, you gotta do it.
What are you thinking?
You have to do it.
And I go, but I think you have to do you.
Oh, this is great.
And I'm like, I'd already made up my mind.
I'm supposed to tell them on Monday, that was on a Friday, and he completely turned me around.
And he was like, what do you, why are you, why are you even hesitating?
And I was trying to explain to him and he goes, who cares?
It's like, who cares?
Just do it.
And then I just go, my God, he's right.
And it just like, it was like, I needed somebody to just kick me in the face.
And cause he like, he has that energy.
He has, you know, he's fearless.
And it's like, I just sometimes you need somebody to kind of like transfuse their fearlessness into you.
And that's what happened.
And then I was like, you know what?
If people come after me, people come after me.
And then like, and then we went out balls, you know, to the wall, rude, unapologetic, and there was nothing people could do about it.
Right.
You know, when you do that, when you when you say fuck him, you just like, Yeah.
Well, it gets funny.
So that's what I was going to ask you about, but you never did stand up or any of that kind of stuff.
So it doesn't make sense to me how you went from just a regular and then get funny, funny, funny without stand up.
I think it was from I've been asked this from editorial meetings and magazines when we would meet and to discuss ideas.
So you'd have like six or seven people there.
I would run these meetings and it'd be like, what do you think, Steve?
And we're talking about something.
And we would just go, we'd spend hours doing this to do a monthly magazine and, and they want to be cover lines coming up with, I think a lot of it came from those meetings because I, you know, I do stand up now on the shows, but I'd like, I, you know, it just, You know, I never thought I, I, I, I love standup comedians.
I mean, I could, I mean, I was like, that's all I watch on the Tonight Show.
You know, I was a Tonight Show freak, a Letterman freak, all of that.
But I just never thought I could, you know, I, that would be my thing.
I was a writer.
I was somebody that, like, writes funny stuff, or I'm going to write a novel.
And, and then this just kind of happened.
And I just kept moving toward it.
And it, and then it just turned into this thing.
You know, are you so like, you must be so gratified.
Oh, I am.
It's just it's so first of all, it's unheard of.
It's amazing.
It's a huge victory against everything that we all hate.
Yes, it's it's it's a I have to stop and think about it's not just a show.
It's a show that so many people wanted to stop.
Yeah.
So it's, it's like a it's more than success in a way.
It's a victory.
And, and also, I forget that I talked about this, like I would talk about this with Breitbart when he was alive about like, you know, there needs to be this thing.
Yeah.
There needs to be this thing.
I didn't know that it was gonna be me.
Yeah.
You know, it's like, I mean, Red Eye, we tried to do that.
But we assume that like, we're on a 3am when nobody watches.
This is like a ghetto.
No, no, you know, but It was actually, Ailes was really smart.
He put me in a place to fail where I could fail every night and then over time I got comfortable.
And it's like, it was like, I was doing open mic nights.
You developed.
Yeah, I developed.
That's so unheard of on television.
It's unheard of.
So I did like, I don't know how many shows, like seven years, maybe I think I was doing Red Eye and then the five overlap.
And it was like, I got the best training and now I can talk and I can think on my feet.
I still write a lot of notes, but that's because I have like, I have to have some kind of substance about the topic.
But it's like, sometimes I rely on it too much.
But it's like, you know, I think, you know, it's, it's, it happened at the pace that it was supposed to happen.
Yeah.
You know, I didn't get there too soon.
I didn't get there too late.
Yeah.
You know, and it's been great.
And also, I have great, Tyrus is amazing.
That's amazing.
Yeah, they're amazing.
Yeah.
I mean, they're an amazing forum for any comment that goes on there.
Yeah.
You have there's such different people.
You got Kat, who's this like, sly, you know, obviously libertarian, but just also just kind of adorable.
I like how witty she is.
We don't get to see witty women on TV ever anymore.
She is.
She's hysterical.
And of course, Tyrus is like, he's like a sage.
You know, it's like, you know, people don't, you know, if they don't, if they just look at him, they'd assume he's a wrestler, but the dude just drops a lot of wisdom.
Well, Ma, they're back at it again.
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Trying to kill us some more.
Yeah, apparently they're doing more gain-of-function research this time with the bird flu.
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Of course they do.
They're trying to kill us.
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And it's like, wow, I didn't think of that.
I mean, he's on the spot funny.
Oh, yeah.
He just shows up with it.
Yeah, exactly.
Another person that was like, probably didn't intend to be doing this.
Yeah.
You know, it's crazy.
I did talk to him about stand-up, though.
He said he hadn't done it.
Yeah, he's doing it.
I mean, he's now doing these live shows and, but he does it his way, you know, and he writes, you know, he writes his jokes.
It's like, it's kind of, it's pretty ballsy too.
But then again, professional wrestlers are performers.
You know, you got to be smart.
You have to be really smart to actually hold a story in your head.
You know, time it so it develops and then also like be physical.
Yeah.
I don't know how they do that.
I don't know.
I think they have to rehearse a lot.
Yeah.
And I mean, all those guys are smart.
I mean, The Rock is smart.
Trying to think of others.
I'm walking into a dead end.
I'm a huge wrestling fan.
There you go.
Yes!
They do things called calls.
What's his name?
What's the governor?
Jesse Ventura is a genius.
Yeah.
I don't know whatever happened to him, but they do things called calls because they work together.
It comes from the carnivals.
So they have codes when they're on the ring.
They'll throw out a word or something, and they know what to do.
It's the symbiosis.
It's amazing.
Yeah, because they have like a specific move that they've learned.
Yeah, no, they'll call it.
They'll be like, we're gonna do the 447, and then they know what to do.
Have you seen the movie Ricky Stanicki yet?
No.
It's a Farrelly movie?
Oh shit, no, I have seen it.
John Cena!
John Cena is now, in my book, one of the funniest male actors.
I agree.
And I didn't see it coming.
He's also a professional wrestler.
Was he MMA or professional wrestling?
No, he's WWE.
He's huge.
Is that the guy that was naked on the Oscars they're talking about?
Yes.
And he was really funny in a movie with, what's her name?
Tina Fey.
It was like some guy she was having sex with and he was hilarious.
I can't remember the movie.
No, he's brilliant.
Yeah.
I didn't see that one.
I didn't either.
Yeah.
But they have some, they have talent.
Absolutely.
I love wrestling.
I want to ask you about your writing process because I'm nosy on that one.
What do you do?
You're really regimented and you do the same thing every day?
Does it just come through?
You don't just sit there like me and go, I have to clean the house first and then I'll get an idea?
I do that with books.
But with the show, I get up every morning, have two cups of coffee, and write.
And also, the phones help now, because if you have an idea, you hit the thing, and it's like, if I come with an idea, I have something to put it down on before.
I don't know how many ideas I lost because of that.
Remember when you would lie in bed at night and you'd think you'd have the greatest idea ever?
And then you'd write it down and it was gone forever.
It's gone!
Now I got it.
So I used to write on the stair climber at Equinox.
I'd have a clipboard and I would just write like this and it would pass the time.
And I would write all my monologues like that.
Now I get up in the morning, I write all this stuff, I put it together, I'll send an idea off to somebody who will put a body together.
Now I have help on my monologues to write like the basics.
And then I just edit for hours on end and write jokes.
And Joe Mackey and Joe DeVito, they write the jokes.
I saw the guy Dan write stuff.
And we just have the tiniest staff.
But you just get up and it flows.
It just comes, it just flows.
You don't have to do it because you've got the muscle working.
I've been doing that every day as a magazine writer.
By the way, being a magazine writer is pretty lazy.
What do you do?
Write two articles a month?
But back then I'd get up every morning and I'd write little bits for prevention, these little health fronts.
They were called health fronts.
121 words and I would have to write and call a doctor.
Sometimes I'd have to call two doctors, interview them, transcribe.
Also transcribing helped because I could listen and then write it.
Now when I just listen to anybody I will write stuff.
You'll see me on The Five, I'm scribbling away.
Yeah, you're always doing that.
Somebody said that when you're writing or when you're thinking a thought Writing it down, the more muscles that you use, the more likely you will like form it, create it, and so I always write it down even if it's stupid.
Sometimes I won't have an idea at all and I'll just start writing and it'll just somehow come out.
Isn't that weird?
You know that happens with me too.
Yeah, it's just freaky.
And sometimes it'll be like you're there for a really long time and then it It changes.
It's something that you can't describe, but it does feel good when it comes out and you know it's gonna work, doesn't it?
Yeah, and it's great when you have, let's say, this much writing, and then somehow you edit it, and something happens and you just lose half of it, and it's like, bam!
You find the core.
Yeah, the core.
The right core.
The core, and it's just like, fuck!
It's like, bam!
It's like this thing, and no one else has done it.
Like no one else has found like you can come up with a thought no one else came up with and there's 7 billion people and you're like, it's like that to me is such that is like a real buzz.
And I get so hyped on it.
And then I get into a groove.
And then when I get to work, I'll edit.
Non-stop because editing to me is now more fun like how do you get something smaller?
How do you get it?
Yeah, it's so much.
It's like it's got a size concise concise.
Yeah, and it's got it's still even if it's just a joke It still has to have the beginning middle and punch exactly.
It's got to go in a loop and then go left instead of right.
Yeah, it's Fun!
The worst thing, the worst thing is when I have a great joke and I fucked up the delivery.
I know.
And I'm like, and I'm, when I do the show, I don't stop down and do it over again because I just go, no, I just have to, I just have to live with it.
And you know, that's it.
And, and maybe people won't notice.
Most people don't, but I did.
And I feel like like a word, I fucked up a word.
That will drive me crazy.
Yeah, you have to bring it back in a couple nights.
Yeah, exactly.
We used to say, me and Lori Metcalf would say, when we'd do that, we'd go, Christ, we fucked up a line, because they're such gold.
But we'd say, it's kind of like a bunch of crap just dribbles out of your mouth, down to your stomach, and you're just standing there.
Then you're going like, should I make a funny face?
Yeah.
But then you're like, no, I'm just gonna have to sit here with this on.
Yes.
It's horrible, especially when it's like Falling over a word because the timing matters so much.
Do you always know what's going to work?
I get mad.
I will scold the audience if it doesn't work.
There was a great joke.
There was a trans male athlete.
This was a news story.
Who was showering and dressing with the girls and a girl was there and he was caught staring at her breasts.
This was a news story.
And the joke, I'm trying to remember it, the joke goes, in his defense,
he said that he was staring at her breasts so he would lose his boner.
No, but it was like, it kind of just went, it just laid there.
And it's like, I was like, oh, and I'm yelling at the audience.
I think it's on the show.
I'm going, you guys, that was the best joke.
And it was a joke.
Like it was a joke that was like workshop between me and I think it was Joe Mackey.
And I don't even remember how it just like, and then it was like, to lose the boner was like, that is just brilliant.
It takes a good snake laugh.
I like that.
I thought I tried this for years and it never did work.
I shouldn't have said it that way.
I shouldn't have said that first.
I thought this was so funny.
And it never did work on Madison, but it just cracks me up still.
I'll see what you all think it's funny.
Cause I already told you, but anyway, I go, I, you know, that thing where they go, I complained because I had no shoes.
You know how, okay.
So mine was, I complained because I had no shoes, but then I met a woman who had no waste.
I don't know why that is.
I don't know the premise.
Just because I was always obsessed with having no waist, I guess.
I don't know, just crazy.
That's in like Stephen Wright territory.
Yeah.
Oh my god, where is he?
I think I saw him on something.
He might even have a special.
He needs to come back.
Yeah, he was amazing.
He was fiercely crazy good.
Oh god, he was great.
He wrote like the perfect, just jokes.
Also, though, I think the best was Norm Macdonald.
Oh, no.
Nobody's ever gonna be that funny.
And he was one of us.
He was a right.
I mean, he was not a liberal.
And it was I'll never get when he complimented me on Twitter.
And I thought I thought I was gonna pass out.
Because he and then I took a I went to see him at the Paramount Theater in New York, and I'm getting on a train with my buddy, and he's on the same train.
He goes, get over here!
Come over here!
And we just sat, and we hung out the entire night.
I went backstage with him and just sat in the green room, and then we hung out the night after, and then we took the train back together, and he got yelled at by the God, I miss him.
and other people because he was so loud because he gambles on his phone.
Right.
And he was like watching these games and just like intense screaming and like people are
like complaining and they told him to shut up.
God I miss him.
He had the best.
I still watch all, I still watch everything I can of him.
His podcasts.
There was nobody, I don't.
Oh my god, some of them were so dry and brutal.
When he was on SNL and doing the news though, there was nothing, there was nothing and they hated it so bad.
Yeah, he got fired for OJ jokes and Hillary jokes.
But those jokes!
Yes, when he did the view and they were just, they did not know.
Yeah, they didn't know what to do with him.
That's the best, when he's like, I thought everyone knew that she murdered that guy.
That's the greatest thing I've ever seen.
Vince Foster.
Oh, yeah.
I don't want a murderer in the White House.
He was very honest.
He was great to you too.
He was a great friend.
I had no idea he was sick.
He didn't tell anybody.
I guess he told a few.
I was mad at him because I left a message, Norm, because I was calling him going, is this funny?
I did those calls to my friends and then they don't take my calls anymore after a certain number.
They get tired of me, but I thought he had gone into that friend zone or whatever it is where they won't listen to your jokes.
So I'm like, Norm, you're not going to turn into the guy that doesn't call me back because I bother you too much, are you?
And then he was dead.
I didn't even know he was sick.
I was like, that son of a bitch doesn't even call me back.
Yeah, I guess he just like, he was a, well, he was a really private person didn't want anybody to know.
He didn't look great when, when on that on that trip.
But I just thought maybe I'd never stopped.
I've never seen him before.
So I just thought, Oh, he just looks this way.
But he didn't look healthy.
But I didn't have a I didn't have a clue.
And it was yeah, that he's the only person who when they died, I had to text so many people because we were all like, which something was stolen.
Like it was so yeah, something was stolen from you.
And it's not fair.
You know, it's like somebody that was so unexpected.
Yeah.
And he was just, he had the best, he had the best Trump joke ever.
He goes, he said, I hope I do it right.
He goes, uh, uh, people hated Hillary so bad.
Did you hear this joke?
I think so.
People hated Hillary so bad that they voted for a guy they hated even worse.
Just to piss her off.
100% true.
It's 100% true.
What do you think's the big thing that you should tackle next?
Because I mean, if I was sitting up here and I was king of the hill late night, and I knew that everything sucked, and that it's just getting worse, and I have to do something to help my country and the people in it.
This law fair.
Oh yeah, exactly.
It is incredible.
I'm actually more angry at the media because the media is supposed to be like, you should be going after these alphabet institutions, CIA, NBI.
The lies.
Yeah, the lies.
It's like, what happened to all the president's men and all of those movies of the 70s where the journalists were fearless?
And now it's actually happening and they're part of it.
They're part of it.
It's like, wait, you do realize that they're trying to put him in jail to win an election?
And then they're even bragging, like Biden, the Biden-Harris camp posted on X, like they were boasting about how much money they raised and how much money he has to pay for lawyers.
They're not even hiding what they're doing, you know?
It's like, And they like it!
They like it!
And going on X and I about tear what's left of my horrible hairdo out.
I had a drive-by hair accident.
It was tragic.
But I go on there and it makes me get like an ulcer because they're proud of how they are destroying our country, our laws.
They're proud that they're involved in corrupt law against people.
That they're ruining people's lives for no fucking reason.
They love it!
Yeah, and hush money, I'm pretty sure, is not illegal.
That's a good point.
not to say something, I don't think that's against the law.
And I don't think anybody ever wrote, like, this is for hush money on anything.
So it's been done over and over again.
But I don't think there's a law, like you're under arrest for paying this person not to tell.
That's a good point.
I don't think so either.
Like, hey, don't tell my wife I slept with this Eskimo.
Here's that thousand dollars.
That's not against the law.
It's not against the law.
So is it?
And I know they're gonna well use campaign funds or maybe use that's still not against the law.
But it is and also Like look what they excuse.
Yes.
Well, that I was going to say, like you look at, okay, January 6th, they went too far, but compare that to how the people that aren't in jail after the riots and the looting and what we're seeing in New York city, like there are grandmothers in jail because they prayed it in the Capitol.
And, and there are people that are nine, 10, 12 times arrested, let out, beaten up chicks.
And you know, it's like, it's so clear that they are targeting They're hunting people.
If you're a Republican, if you're not a liberal, you're being hunted whether you're in the media or entertainment or you're just somebody in a fucking trailer park.
Well, they hate Trump voters, but now I think they're gonna go all in on the RFK voters too.
They're gonna do both of it.
Well, we're bringing in these people to replace you.
We're going to put y'all in camps.
Yeah.
We're bringing these people because they'll vote for us because we have to stay because we're not going to jail.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We hate Americans.
We hate Americans.
None of them are going to vote for us anymore.
Yeah.
So we have to let all the criminals and bring in crazy people from other countries.
I saw, we did this on the five, we showed Biden speaking to Univision.
Yeah, he does.
It was about what he was saying, but I couldn't help.
He looked dead.
I mean, this is the worst he's ever looked.
So I'm thinking, okay, so he's sitting there, he's doing this big interview.
He must have some makeup on.
He looked like he's what, 81 or 80, something like that.
He looks like a bad 80.
Like, like, like it's not good.
No, it's not good.
And he was like, and I'm going, okay, even if I love this guy, let's say I was pro Biden.
I would be like, you can't do this.
You can't do this.
Someone needs to let him sleep.
Yeah.
You got to stop this.
This is just, this is bad for him and bad for the country.
Even if I believed in him, which I don't, all of it, everything he's doing is on the orders of somebody else.
I came up with this line on the five yesterday where I said, just because they say they're against it, doesn't mean they're behind it.
You know, like, yeah, like crime, immigration, nobody, nobody is going to say they're for
squatting, but some, they're behind it.
Yeah.
They're not going to say, I like, I'm not, I'm not for an open border, but you're behind
it and it's to keep us occupied.
Make them put all their money toward their defense.
We gotta hate each other.
We gotta be in this mental chaos so we can't do anything.
And that's, by the way, lawfare is that way.
Keep this guy occupied.
Keep him busy.
Oh, break him down.
Make them put all their money toward their defense.
And they have to be in the, talking to lawyers nine hours every single day.
Yeah.
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Alright Ma, you getting ready to hit your diet smoke gummies?
Yeah!
These are so good, they sent me their new favorite flavor, 420 Reserve Indica, which is good.
Indica, I always mix them up because there's two kinds, there's Sativa and Indica.
Right.
And I can never remember which it is, but somebody told me to go Indica Is Indi-couch.
Indi-couch.
That's the trick.
Where you need to relax.
I think this is my favorite and it's watermelon flavored.
And I have been feeling badly because we got the flu, right Jake?
Yeah, I feel it.
We came home from our travels.
Yeah.
So, soon as I'm done with doing these ads, I'm eating my Watermelon 420 Indica.
Dang, I'm gonna go off on a lovely little nap.
Well, this is your last ad, so you better nail this before it kicks in.
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Wow.
You see what I did there?
Yeah.
See what I did there?
You'll see what they did there.
I'll repeat.
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See?
4 plus 20 is 420.
You know, 420.
Good.
It's kicking in, I can tell.
Diet Smoke has sold over 10 million gummies.
Did you know that?
And I think we're responsible for at least 8 million of those.
That I ate myself, you mean?
No, I was going to say you push the product.
And people that listen to this show, they love to hit the Diet Smoke gummies and then listen to you and I just blabber for an hour.
It's the best.
I see it in the comments all the time.
Well, get on the Indica if you need a napper, you're not filling up and you need like, you know, to rest so you can, you know, your body can heal.
Use the sativa for when you're on the go and you want to like write or, you know,
get on X and tell everybody to kiss your ass.
You know what I mean?
Well said.
All right.
Thank you.
Do you think that, I sometimes wonder if that helps Trump because it takes up the time that he would have spent,
you know, saying shit he couldn't have told.
Like, it's like, you know what?
It's like, maybe this is like a hobby.
It's like, you know, he only has a few hours to beat Trump.
Right.
So maybe this might like- That's a good point.
Localize a lot of the Trump impact.
And the less you see of him, the more people on the fence like him.
Yeah.
Because they see Biden and they're going like, who is this guy?
This is not our president.
Well, I think that Trump's doing that to them.
Keeping them busy.
Oh yeah, you're right.
Yeah, that's true too.
And they are like slowly untangling and unmasking themselves because what I love the best is, and it just came up if you really looked at it hard, was that they all used Rico to accuse him of Rico.
Going to the White House, talking to Kamala, Bonnie, Wilsa, that's Rico.
The whole thing, all the judges, all complete Rico.
To make up a charge of RICO.
And it's, of course, going to bite him in the ass.
Yeah, and it is amazing that, like, even something as simple as, you know, everybody knows Joe Biden was the big guy.
And then they say he's too old, they're not going to do it.
He's too old to be president.
To be punished.
Yeah.
He's going to run for president.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That means I'm going to wait till I'm his age and kill people.
Yeah.
You know, if that's, if that's the rule, you know.
That's the time to do it.
But the horror of it is that there's just no, uh, no, no laws of our entire Republic are being respected.
They're doing whatever the hell they want.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lawfare is that.
It's just pure Marxism.
Making a joke of everything.
You know, the thing is I've come around, like I, I didn't really see the Marxism underneath all this, but now it is so obvious.
It's like, this is how Marxism morphs.
It didn't work in class warfare, so they turned it into race and identity warfare.
And it just keeps morphing, and it's the same people.
It's all the same people.
And then they use the blackmail to get their way in.
Cause I just heard a guy say that that's how Kamala got vice because she got all the black celebrities to get ahold of Biden and say, you need a black woman to be vice president.
Well, they, they needed to counter the fact that he was like a racist.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Racist.
I mean, my God, things he said on tape, you know, Remember all she said?
Oh, I was that little girl on the bus.
Not.
Yeah.
Yeah, no.
No, you weren't.
No.
She had... You were that woman on her knees.
Oh my god, it's disgusting.
Do you think that I worked as hard as I did to unman Tons of women.
To see that become vice president?
A woman who blew her way to the middle?
Are you shitting me?
I feel it in Tucker when he goes like this.
I realize Tucker does the laugh when he doesn't want to comment.
I know, it's a cringe laugh too, I saw him.
It's great.
I remember, like the one thing that pissed me off too, I love Theo Vaughn.
That fucking interview where they tried to string you and him up was insane.
They didn't get what you were talking about, and I could tell that he wasn't used to being in that situation afterward, and it was just such garbage.
He was really upset.
I shouldn't do it now.
I'm not going to talk about it.
I was going to bring up Geraldo.
I've been building for this.
I fucking hate Geraldo.
We have him for like 10 more minutes.
Can we?
at the end how much time because we're like 10 more minutes no I said at the
end we can yeah I'm I'll talk but now there's some things like I probably
can't talk about but ask ask me yeah I don't give a shit Look, the guy, the guy did some nasty stuff to me that I, you know, I can't talk about.
No, you don't have to.
Because it'll just kick up stuff, but, uh.
Let's talk about how crazy the guy is, and how crazy he was at the end when he was on Fox.
When he was just talking out of his ass every day that made no sense.
My favorite was the E.V.
Bentley.
He was talking about climate change.
If you wanted an example of how elitists, snobs treat the rest of us and how they use climate change as a weapon against us, he goes, you know, we have to understand that, you know, our planet is, you know, is in trouble.
I mean, and I'm doing, I tried to get, you know, I tried to get an Evie Bentley, but they had, it wasn't out yet.
So I had to, I had to get the regular Bentley and I've lost it.
I started screaming on the show, Evie Bentley!
Oh, you!
Evie Bentley!
And that was just like, I had it.
I was like, I can't- and it was so- by the way, that was good television because it was so comical.
Yeah.
It was like, he actually said that.
He wasn't joking.
No.
Yeah, he's- He's out there as pure Democrat all the way.
He does that thing, you know, I love President Trump like a brother, but, and then he stabs him.
When my mom was on your show last year here, you were doing the five, we were watching, and you were saying, oh, Roseanne's going to be on tonight.
And he's like, yeah, the fact that she called Yes, Jared a monkey.
And he said on the Fox News, I remember I talked to you backstage.
I was like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?
Yeah, he's lying on Fox News.
Yeah.
This is a safe space in his box.
Who is he trying to?
Who is blackmailing?
He's in a vault.
Yeah.
Nothing in it.
Nothing in that vault.
You know how many of them there are?
Like, I think that all I think that I think like, I Oh, no, they are.
Can I tell you?
Can I make a very sexist comment?
that same vault. Oh no they don't even know but is it a fear vault or is it just a lack
of creativity vault? Can I tell you a very sexist comment?
Of course. A lot of them it's because of wives. I say so too! Yes. They're all witches.
They're lesbian witches!
Yeah, took his balls.
Look what happened to Howard Stern.
He was a different person and now he's like so timid.
Look at Kimmel.
He wore, you know, blackface and now he's acting like he's like, whatever.
I think that like people.
They're under witchcraft.
Their wives are under the sway of lesbian publicist witches.
That's who runs Hollywood.
Lesbian witches.
And all the feminists, listen to them, all the married feminists, if they don't have a lesbian witch as the person who's dressing them or doing their publicity, they're lost.
I'm going to take your word for it just to be safe, but I will I have to say that, like, I notice how a lot of my friends change, and it's like they can't say that they like Trump.
No, they're scared shitless!
Well, look what happened to me!
I dared say it, and you know, I really thought people In my real life, when I was in Hawaii, you know, that's a pretty communist state.
Hawaii's pure commie.
And I would say I was for Trump, and people were like, oh, that's okay.
It's okay.
They didn't care.
But in Hollywood, they were choking on their gizzards.
They fear for their careers.
And without the lesbian aspect of it, The world is run by publicists.
Right.
And they're all lesbians.
I don't know why you don't know that.
I don't know.
Well, I haven't had a publicist in ages.
That's why you don't know.
Yeah.
But I always found that they're miserable and they're essentially unhappy and lonely.
And a lot of this status is driven by Transferring their maternal instinct to issues.
Yeah.
So it's like, you know, it's like the joke, the cliche is like, oh, they have cats and they live alone.
The cats now are the policies and the positions they take.
So they're easily led into the trendiest cause because that's their new cat.
That's their new, the new cat that they feed.
So they have five cats.
You know, and there are all these different issues.
And so that is there.
I think it's a shifting of... Everybody has instincts.
And it's not even a... Women, whether they like it or not, have a maternal instinct.
Somehow it's been hijacked, and you know... You know what it is, though, in my opinion?
They're all protecting a pedophile.
That's what they're doing with their maternal instincts, is they're like, I'm protecting a pedophile producer that pays me.
Oh, yeah, in Hollywood.
Yeah, that's the pecking order.
Yeah.
And the lesbian publicist is like, Their number one thing is to point out women who oppose them.
Right, right, right.
Again, not my area, but no, I'm building my moat.
But you know what's interesting about, when you go on TikTok and you see these trans women, i.e.
men, in drag, they're always throwing a tantrum.
What affects the maternal instinct?
That's true.
That's totally white knighting.
It's the white savior horseshit.
Like, why are all of these women white knighting?
That's totally white knighting.
Yes.
It's the white savior horseshit.
Yes, yeah.
The feminine white savior.
And it's like, there were, I think it was Riley Gaines saying that when they told her
that they were gonna have a male on the team, they were all against it and they voted against it.
And then they had the male swimmer come in and he said that if he wasn't allowed to swim, he would kill himself.
They know how to manipulate women.
Yeah, that's true.
You just go, well nobody wants, nobody wants, and without even the maternal instinct, you
don't want that guilt, blood on your hands, but it was a, it was a,
They know how to manipulate women.
Emotional leverage.
They're like, you will let this penis swing in your face or someone's going to get hurt.
Do you remember, do you remember the story, there were stories about on dating apps, women, female dating apps, that if a trans woman, if you didn't date a trans woman who had a penis on a, on a ladies app, you were Transphobic.
Oh yeah.
And so it's like, like a woman, a lesbian who's on a women's dating app has to date a woman with a penis and she's like, this is, this is not why I came here.
Yeah.
She's like, no, I'm a lesbian.
I don't like that.
But it's like, you will like it.
You will.
They are throwing tantrums.
It is that.
Yeah, and you know what?
It's because the adults have left the room.
We forgot how to deal with tantrums.
I guess we weren't used to adults throwing tantrums, but a lot of these guys dressing up as Young girls.
It's all part of that.
What's his name?
The Bud Light guy.
Dylan Mulvaney loves to dress up like an eight year old girl.
And nobody's saying anything about him doing a little girl.
What a world.
I know.
Well, should we end on that?
Yes, we should.
Well, we got Geraldo, we got lesbians, we got trans, I think we did it all, right?
And I'm gonna see you tomorrow!
Yeah, we have three minutes to wrap it up.
Yeah, let me sign that.
Greg, absolute pleasure.
Thank you so much for coming, it was wonderful.
I know I'm trying to get my outfit and my hair is horrible so I have to do something.
They can do your hair.
Everyone does it.
They can do your hair and makeup there too.
I have to ask you that.
Do you want to do it there or do you want to go like 90% and get it done?
I'm going to let them do it.
That's how nervous I am.
That's all right, baby.
Look at this.
Look at this.
This is like I'm mentally ill.
I love it.
Look at that.
That's what I do.
Oh, here we go.
Thank you.
Tucker Carlson in the praise.
We love Tucker.
Now I have something to read tonight.
I know.
That'll be good.
You do a great Tucker, by the way.
I'm sure you've heard that before.
It is a good one.
It's easy.
He's got that laugh.
Yeah.
I love Tucker.
All right.
Well, thank you so much.
I know you have to go.
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