QAnon-promoting congressional candidate KW Miller is laid bare as a fraud before we jump into an interview with Tim Heidecker, host of the Office Hours Live Podcast and one half of comedic duo Tim & Eric. We chat with him about his recent interview with KW, but not before we touch on the Wayfair child trafficking conspiracy theory — which is shaping as the new pizzagate. The episode ends with a Jake story featuring Tim as KW. Holy shit it's episode 100! Thank you for listening!
↓↓↓↓ SUBSCRIBE FOR $5 A MONTH SO YOU DON'T MISS THE SECOND WEEKLY EPISODE ↓↓↓↓
www.patreon.com/QAnonAnonymous
Follow Tim Heidecker: https://twitter.com/timheidecker
Check out his podcast: https://starburns.audio/podcasts/office-hours-tim-heidecker/
Merch / Join the Discord Community / Find the Lost Episodes / Etc: http://qanonanonymous.
Episode music by ATM (https://doomchakratapes.bandcamp.com/album/atm-smile-dial), Kobermann https://doomchakratapes.bandcamp.com/album/kobermann-xvii), Nick Sena (https://nicksenamusic.com)
Welcome, listener, to the 100th chapter of the QAnon Anonymous podcast, the Mr. Nobody episode.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rokitansky, Julian Fields, and Travis View.
This week we're celebrating our 100th episode.
Woo!
I could not be more excited, and I think I speak for all of us at QAA when I say thank you for listening and supporting us.
We love doing this, and we're definitely going to keep going.
Inshallah.
Our guest this week is Tim Heidecker.
You might know him as one half of the comedy duo Tim and Eric, so we are very excited.
He's also the host of the Office Hours Live podcast.
And our topic this week is K.W.
Miller, a QAnon-promoting congressional hopeful in Florida's 18th District who has garnered a fair bit of attention recently.
Due to his ridiculous appearance and the far-fetched conspiracy theories in his tweets and videos, many thought K.W.
was actually a Tim Heidecker character.
This culminated in Tim inviting the man onto his show and interviewing him.
So, first we're gonna give you some background on K.W.
Miller, then we'll have a chat with Tim, and finally, we've got a wonderful Jake story for dessert.
And yes, Tim will be playing K.W.
A.K.A.
The Boogeyman.
A.K.A.
Mr. Nobody.
But before all that...
There's really only one big story in QAnon world this week, and that's a conspiracy theory world goes wild over accusations that e-commerce website Wayfair is trafficking children.
We had a good deal book going, boys.
It was that easy to order the children.
And now it's all busted up.
Now it's busted.
Back to the dark web with us, I guess.
I can't just hover over an Ikea shelf imagining the child it represents.
So very recently, the QAnon community noticed something very odd.
Certain cabinets for sale on Wayfair.com were being listed for ludicrously high prices, sometimes more than $10,000.
Further, some of these cabinets had uncommon names such as Samaya, Yaritza, and Annabelle.
So naturally, the QAnon community put two and two together and concluded that Wayfair was being used as an open marketplace for trafficked children.
Eventually, the algorithm will traffic the children itself.
According to analysis from Marc-Andre Argentino, the conspiracy theory became massively popular
on Friday and Saturday, generating 455,000 tweets from 236,000 unique authors who mentioned
Wayfair-related hashtags.
When I saw it pop up, I was like, ah, another crazy thing.
I see them all day.
And this one really... Just surged.
It just spread everything.
Something about it captured people's imagination.
You know, it's funny.
Yeah, it's funny.
You were complaining just last week.
It's like, man, this Pizzagate stuff, they're still going back to the pizza, the Podesta emails.
We need a new one.
It's the same stuff over and over again.
I think this is it, actually.
Yeah.
I think that Pizzagate will be a relic of the past for TikTok now.
They'll be like, OK, we've got something new to do.
And my God, there's just so much you can do.
All you have to do is just go and cross-reference websites with weird prices and names.
And there's a million of those.
I'm watching people get pilled in real time.
There's this Instagram influencer who's a friend of mine.
She was a friend of mine from a long time ago, has become an Instagram influencer.
She posted QAnon content just last night.
Related to Wayfair?
Wayfair basically. Related to Wayfair. It's since been deleted. My beloved girlfriend
pilled on it. Started looking at Wayfair and going, hey wait a minute, I mean the most
next expensive thing up is only $3,000. There's something going on. So you know, this is very
pillable. It's very good. Very fast. Works clean, efficiently.
It's a good conspiracy.
Will recommend.
Will recommend.
10 out of 10.
Would recommend this conspiracy to other loved ones.
Yeah, make sure you mix it with the activator and that the PPM is not too high, but otherwise you'll be fine.
Your stomach should be fine.
Your stomach lining should be fine.
Nobody seems to ask the question, however, is how the children will breathe when they're stuffed in a cardboard box with cabinet, you know, leafs as well.
I mean, it seems like there's some logistics here that really haven't been thought through.
Yeah, this is the worst version of the Calvin and Hobbes transmogrifier, by the way.
It's like you put furniture in a box and it comes out as a child.
It sucks.
So the Wayfair trafficking theory was apparently originally proposed by QAnon follower AmazingPolly last month.
AmazingPolly!
But it didn't really take off until a Redditor posted this message on the subreddit rConspiracy on Thursday.
Is it possible Wayfair are involved in human trafficking with their WFX utility collection?
Or are these just extremely overpriced cabinets?
Note the names of the cabinets.
This makes me sick to my stomach if it's true.
Frowny face emoji.
So, in addition to Twitter, the conspiracy was also popular on TikTok, where it was spread widely just as, you know, PeaceGate was there a few weeks ago.
Here's one TikTok user who claims that since there was a reported missing girl named Samaya, and there was a cabinet on Wayfair named Samaya, then that's evidence of human trafficking.
For those of you who don't know, there's some information circulating that Wayfair may be involved in human trafficking.
You might want to pause the video so you can read all of this information, but basically people have found missing children's names Such as Samaya, who went missing last year, being sold on Wayfair.
Look, it's almost 13 grand.
A cabinet should not cost 13 grand, but a child might.
And Wayfair, in response, has denied all allegations, and they have even scrubbed The overpriced products.
Are you telling me that I can get a living child for $13K about the same as a five-year-old Toyota?
I mean, come on!
The funny thing is like, okay, let's say that you are building a child smuggling network, right?
And you are looking for clients for this incredibly illegal thing, right?
You want to know a lot about your clients.
You don't want your client to just be able to cruise to your website and just be like, I want it delivered here.
But you said hiding in plain sight!
It all makes sense!
I know, but the point is, this would, like, do the opposite of make it a good cons... It doesn't... It's not even how you conspire.
Also... This isn't how it works.
If you know... I mean, if we're talking really rich people, the kind of rich people that would buy a child, okay?
Yeah.
They're not shopping on fucking Wayfair.
It's way too low end for them.
This is for millennials that want to get the West Elm bed for half price.
I mean... So, but then, like, if I'm the FBI and I want to bust them, all I have to do is literally click buy.
That's it?
Yep.
And then I get the child and then you're under arrest, sir.
Yep.
One problem with the whole Samaya theory is that she is very much not missing.
Yeah, that's an issue.
In fact, the real Samaya even took to Facebook Live to yell at conspiracy theorists who erroneously thought she was being sold on an e-commerce site.
I'm not missing!
Fuck outta here!
Fuck!
Let me go get a picture of you, bitch, and say you missing!
And then put a little motherfucking cabinet next to it!
And have everybody share that shit!
Let's see how you feel!
Fuck outta here!
I love, love, love normal people who are not like, swimming in the fucking mud like we are 24-7.
No, no, if you're a listener you're too far.
This person's pure, don't engage with them.
Don't teach them about QAnon.
I love when people call the QAnon people weird.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
In their world, that's as far as it goes.
These weird-ass motherfuckers.
Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Moving on.
I like that.
That's just the schoolyard bully version of what Travis does.
Just more direct.
Fuck outta here.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I'll put you next to a cabinet.
Next.
Oh, Samaya, we salute you.
We're huge fans.
We love you.
We're huge fans.
Samaya wasn't the only person who took to social media to push back against allegations that they were being shipped in cabinets.
Another girl who was being named also pleaded with conspiracy theorists to stop.
So a few people wanted me to clear some stuff up and I will do that for you now.
I care because my family is getting contacted, my friends are getting contacted.
And it's my name and face so people are like finding my stuff and it's kind of creepy.
It's also kind of annoying because I have like my family calling me and my friends calling me.
Um, I want to get my name and my face like detached from the whole problem along with some Maya because she's fine.
We're both fine.
That original post is bogus wherever it came from and there's a lot of other issues to be focused on right now.
So here is how Wayfair responded to these allegations.
There is, of course, no truth to these claims.
The products in question are industrial-grade cabinets that are accurately priced.
Recognizing that the photos and descriptions provided by the supplier did not adequately explain the high price point, we temporarily removed the products from site to rename them and provide a more in-depth description and photos that accurately depict the product to clarify the price point.
Boring!
TLDR!
Boring.
Sounds like they're doing child trafficking.
You also relate to the fact that, like, these prices are being set by the people who actually sell the items.
Yeah, of course, it's the marketplace.
Yeah, it's the marketplace, not Wayfair themselves, and so you could set it to, you know, $999,000, $999,000.
Yeah, and people have pointed out that if you're looking for answers on this, the easiest one is money laundering.
Like, you sell stuff for huge amounts through these websites, and yeah, it's like... Exactly!
That's a more reasonable explanation.
Hawkins Razor version of this conspiracy theory.
Or when people talk about secret codes, why do they always have to go to children?
Why not drugs?
You know, it's like people use coded terms for this too.
You're saying stop doing the children, start doing the drugs?
Usually I'm the one who's saying do the drugs.
Open your mind to other explanations.
Open your mind to other illegalities.
This is a cruel, broken world in which people do lots of shady things.
Why limit yourself to just one horrible atrocity?
Now the claim that these were specialized industrial cabinets were bolstered by the product description which listed them as weighing 1,200 pounds.
K.W.
Miller is a congressional candidate from the 18th District of Florida.
A political newcomer, he's running as an independent, but is a registered Republican.
Despite his tweet stating, quote, K.W.
stands for Keep Winning, it in fact stands for Carl Walter, according to public records we viewed.
Carl is 54 years old and claims to hold a Bachelor of Arts in Accounting at the Catholic University of America, based in Washington, D.C., which is the Swamp, so immediately educated in the Swamp, as well as an MBA in Finance from the University of North Carolina Kenan-Flagler Business School.
By his own accounts, he's held a series of VP jobs at some of the wealthiest and most immoral companies in the world, including energy giant Enron, of Enron scandal fame, economy-destroying bank villain JPMorgan Chase, and finally PG&E, an energy company that recently pled guilty to 84 counts of involuntary manslaughter over its responsibility for California's deadliest and most destructive wildfire.
But not before getting busted attempting a cover-up.
Kevin is open about making money in foreign countries, claiming on his campaign website that he, quote, Notice there's no mention of the continent of Africa.
This despite KW's statements in the following video.
led to deregulation, market reform, and planning efforts in the United States, Nordic markets,
UK, Germany, and Australia.
Notice there's no mention of the continent of Africa.
This despite KW's statements in the following video.
Please note that KW added the music himself.
Let's cut the bullshit.
I've worked in Africa.
I've been in the ghetto.
I've been with more poverty-stricken black human beings than anybody in this country.
I can promise you.
And I did it for years.
And I'm still very involved in Southern Africa.
Okay?
I know what ghetto is.
I know what shantytown is.
And I go in there and I help.
And I give money and I help them.
These are people that have self-respect and pride.
They don't shoot each other.
They don't kill each other's babies.
My God, Carl!
Yeah, it's very bad.
In the video, he goes on to make the usual racist arguments, invoking Chicago as being this kind of crime-ridden place.
And he talks about black-on-black crime.
You know, nothing interesting, the usual trash.
But I was curious, what did Carl Walter Miller mean when he claimed to be, quote, still very involved in Southern Africa?
Well, friend of the show, Ali, helped with a bunch of research, including digging up an article from December 2016 about Carl Miller on WilmingtonBiz.com.
The title of the article was Wilmington Executive Making Business Safer in Africa.
This is a local North Carolina website, and the opening passage already reeks of Trump era idiocy.
Carl Miller calls Africa the final geopolitical chessboard.
Oh my God!
And he's helping some of the West's largest companies take some risk out of the moves they make on its challenging terrain.
Miller is chairman of NEAH Global Energy Solutions, a Dubai-based holding company incorporated in 2012 to provide integrated risk management services to oil and gas, mining and manufacturing concerns doing business in sub-Saharan Africa.
So this blustering America first patriot has been representing a Dubai based company specializing in making clients feel safer as they exploit Africa's natural resources.
So just patriotic stuff and definitely sounds like he cares about black people since he's protecting his clients from them as they mine their country.
The article also outs him as a fake Floridian.
So not only was he in North Carolina before this Florida move, which we will be linking to a potential change in his marital status later, but before that he doesn't even come from fucking Florida or North Carolina.
He comes from New Orleans.
He's just a carpetbagger.
Listen to this.
Miller is no stranger to risk.
A former government securities trader for Chase Manhattan Bank, now JPMorgan Chase, commodities trader and international energy executive, the New Orleans native was among a growing group of investors in infrastructure who more than a decade ago began viewing Africa as a long dormant market with huge upside potential.
His company also back-rolled conservation in the region, but they did it by creating a spec ops team of locals to fight the poachers.
Anti-poaching teams consist of at least 80 rangers trained to use technologies such as live thermal feeds from rifle scopes, backed by thermal image satellite tracking and helicopters.
The head of global business development for GES said via email, We specifically design and deploy technologies to empower our on-the-ground teams and birds in the sky.
He said, calling technology, the cornerstone of our war and a massive differentiator.
Oh, yeah, the war.
So they're, like, creating, like, a SEAL Team 6 to murder poachers, but they want, like, the Africans to do it, so they're training them.
So what else do we know about Carl pre-campaign?
Well, public records show that he's got some speeding tickets over the years, but they aren't his only brush with the legal system, as our boy KW seems both bellicose and litigious.
His wife also left him pretty recently, at some point before April 2019, as far as I can tell.
When Mrs. Miller started posting pictures to Facebook with no Carl in sight.
I choose to believe it was related to the series of lawsuits started in 2008 by his ex-company alleging Carl committed fraud, breach of contract, and quote, other malicious misconduct.
Although the company he helped found, MMC Energy Incorporated, alleged that Miller should be removed due to quote, numerous deficiencies as chief executive officer, They decided to avoid litigation by asking him to resign instead and offering him a 1.1 million dollar severance package plus 18 months worth of COBRA, which is just a scary acronym referring to the change in US law requiring employees to extend temporary group health insurance to departing employees.
So...
Basically, a nice golden parachute is what we call this, over a million dollars and a year and a half of health insurance.
What do you think Karl did?
Well, MMC claims that Karl agreed to the severance package and then, within days of receiving the lump sum that he had stipulated, started an energy industry media blitz to disparage the company through newsletters accusing it of mismanagement.
He also allegedly hatched a failed plot for outside investors to take over MMC, replacing the board and reinstating Karl as CEO.
Either way, it's not like they were coasting on success.
The company had gone public in 2006 and saw their valuation decrease from about $32 a share to a paltry $1.45 a share by 2007.
So, I mean, it was like a pump and dump, probably, and then they all kind of bailed.
Nonetheless, Carl countersued.
Here's WilmingtonBiz.com again in their article detailing what happened.
Both suits ended anticlimactically.
founder and former CEO Carl W. Miller against multiple execs for conspiring to take hold
of the company's assets. It largely focuses on a dispute about Carl Miller's health insurance
after he was let go from the company in 2007. Miller had a ruptured colon and related complications,
according to the lawsuit. The lawsuit claims the company's gangster tactics include,
quote, repeated acts of extortion. Both suits ended anticlimactically.
They were settled out of court.
MMC Energy Inc.
was dissolved in 2009 and its assets liquidated.
But this was hardly the end of KW's legal troubles.
There were also the two civil cases in North Carolina circa 2012, details of which we were unable to access.
And last year he was sued by the co-founder of a company called Dental Care Leasing, who alleged that KW left the business and then infringed on trademark by helping start a second, very similar dentist organization.
So let's see, what do you think, boys?
Describe these logos and tell me, do you think they resemble each other?
So the original logo, it looks like a clock face, it's kind of stylized, it's red and white lines, we have like a minute arm, it says ASAP, Urgent Dental Care.
And the hole in the P of ASAP is a tooth.
Now let's scroll over to the other one and let's see.
Oh, also an identical clock face.
Also, Manhattan.
Different times pointing to a different time.
But it's called Express Urgent Dental Care.
This is clearly a ripoff of the logo.
It's the exact same logo, except with a different name.
The dentist was pissed, and so she sued him.
But he had moved on to another dentist place that he was already in.
That's why they call me Mr. Nobody.
I disappear from dental organization.
You can't find me.
Can't find me.
I've started a similar company.
I moved to Florida to start a company with one letter difference in the name.
Although it looks like Carl is going to settle out of court on the dentist thing, the suit does remain ongoing, with Carl recently stating in a letter to the other side, Mr. Miller is available to meet in Raleigh, North Carolina on a mutually agreeable day of the week of September 14th to 18th.
Mr. Miller will have to fly into Raleigh from Florida.
Wilmington, North Carolina is not an option.
Carl W. Miller.
So a powerful man, and he knows what cities of North Carolina he will not visit.
Yeah, two that are beneath him.
Disgusting fucking Wilmington.
All of this chicanery brings us to the essential question here.
How did a freshly divorced corporate colonialist with a medically compromised asshole become a caricature of a conspiracy theorist running for Congress in Florida?
Now, to figure this out, we must go back to the very beginning of K.W.
Miller's Congress-specific social media handles.
His very first Facebook video dates back to January 4th.
It's just footage of a child, presumably a relative, shooting an assault rifle at a range.
No context, no caption, no dialogue.
In the second video he posts from his congressional account, also bare of context, the now slightly reluctant child audibly mumbles, Demanding children to fire guns against their will.
it up as he holds a visibly heavy shotgun.
After the instructor asks the child if he'd like to see him shoot the gun first, KW is
heard saying, quote, no, he can do it, Jack.
Come on, raise it up.
The child raises the shotgun to the lowest possible target and fires, his shoulder popping
back with the recoil.
So I would qualify that as a spectacular launch on social media for a political campaign.
Demanding children to fire guns against their will.
Just no context forcing a child to shoot various guns.
So this horror show is followed by a long series of videos where you can see KW really adopt the dashcam boomer and home office tyrant genres, but not before he posts a few vids that are just silent slideshows of stills.
These include diagrams of George Soros controlling various global power brokers and sweaty, dimly lit pics of KW taking at gala-style events.
In them, he mugs for the camera with some of America's worst state-level politicians, including Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin and Chris Christie of New Jersey.
Very strong fall of Rome vibes in, like, all those photos, by the way.
Now, I came across some reporting online claiming that KW's tone, quote, shifted when he posted a Soros diagram to Twitter on March 6th, 2020, but that exact image was already contained in his January 5th Facebook slideshow.
So, he's been publicly pilled for at least six months by my count.
Notoriety, however, did not come to KW through Facebook.
It was on Twitter that his outrageous speculative conspiracy theorizing gained traction in April, May, and June of 2020.
He has now accrued a motley following of rubberneckers and true believers on Twitter, nearing 25,000 people.
In July of 2020, Carl broke out of the Twitter sphere and received mainstream attention for a series of tweets developing an outrageous conspiracy theory about Beyonce.
Beyonce?
is not even African-American.
She is faking this for exposure.
Her real name is Anne-Marie Lastrasi.
She's Italian.
This is all part of the Soros Deep State Agenda for the Black Lives Matter movement.
Beyonce, you are on notice!
The next tweet said, Y'all do know that Beyonce's song Formation was a secret
coded message to the globalists, I certainly hope.
The song clearly admitted that she was demonic, and that she worshipped in the Satanist churches located in Alabama
and Louisiana.
She keeps Satanist symbols in her bag.
And one more.
In the Satanist Formation song, Beyoncé shouts out a Black Bill Gates in the making.
Consequently, in 2020, we see Black Lives Matter terrorizing the country at the same time as Bill Gates pushes a COVID vaccination.
She was getting the ladies in formation four years ago.
Why?
So, yeah.
Very confused stuff.
It didn't take long before K.W.
Miller pivoted from Beyonce to focus on Patti LaBelle, who's a 76-year-old singer known as the godmother of soul.
Here he is finishing a Beyonce rant before switching targets mid-thread.
Looking more into Beyonce's coded globalist messages, who is Becky with the good hair, who she encourages people to call while apologizing?
Oh, a Soros operative?
Interesting!
All goes through London.
And he's posted a screencap of a woman called Becky Hogg, who I guess works for the Open Society Foundation, as if that's some sort of proof.
Why is a Beyoncé assembling all of the single ladies?
Yeah, why?
Why?
What are those single ladies gonna do?
Are they gonna burn down my home in the suburbs?
And here he is, pivoting.
Patti LaBelle is another Illuminati globalist puppet, 1991.
Quote, I'm under your spell.
I don't want to break free.
You can make a slave out of me.
I worship you and nobody else.
I pledge my love to you forever.
Who is she professing this to?
Moloch?
Lucifer?
Who?
And he just accompanies this by pictures of Patti LaBelle, who's been widely recognized again as the godmother of soul, and so she's been seen with many different politicians who've honored her through the years.
In fact, she's in multiple halls of fame, and she's, you know, Grammy stuff, like, there's, you know, she's very visible.
He then repeatedly tweeted about Patti, just going in on her, and suddenly he involved her eponymous pie company.
What does deep state operative Patti LaBelle know about the secret plan to reinstall Barack Obama as President of the United States?
Watch this video and be sure to share it worldwide.
Retweet!
What does she know?
Seems like more than an innocent slip of the tongue.
Is there adrenochrome in Patti LaBelle's pies?
What does Walmart know?
You know Walmart's China.
Most of KW's posting are like this.
They're just shrill nonsense.
And his targets have included K-pop fans, Ariana Grande, Oprah, AOC.
He definitely focuses on women of color.
And broadly what he calls globalists, liberals, rhinos, which is Republicans in name only, big-time socialists, the deep state, and of course, the Illuminati.
KW has also made a string of pro-QAnon statements, including, quote,
if you support hashtag QAnon, you should follow me, quote, more arrests will be made where we
go and we go all QAnon, and finally, where are my digital soldiers? Are you ready to win this fight?
QAnon, Great Awakening. He later clarified by claiming that, quote, people are asking me if
I follow QAnon. I don't follow QAnon. QAnon follows me. So just a big baby. But it seems
clear that KW made a mistake.
Miller has a social media team, and we think it's probably a younger person, more versed in far-right racist trolling and image board conspiracy theories.
And maybe they're even telling Grandpa about the metrics.
Here's K.W.
Miller on July 11th.
My media team tells me that we have literally blown up Twitter, with over 25 million views.
But Twitter has censored our conservative platform.
Too bad for Twitter.
They could be making millions of dollars in advertising of of me, but they let politics get in the way of hashtag truth.
This is like infuriating.
We blow it up.
We've got so many views also simultaneously being censored.
What the, like, the entire contradiction in just a single sentence.
Beautiful stuff.
So let's be clear.
K.W.
Miller is not going to win the general election in his district against Republican incumbent Brian Mast, for whom the FEC lists total receipts of nearly $3 million in the 2019 to 2020 period alone.
Do you know how I know that?
Because K.W.
Miller hasn't filed any receipts at all.
The only FEC record in the campaign's name is an April 22nd statement of organization for the K.W.
Miller Congressional Committee filed by a man named Keith Bissette, apparently its official treasurer and custodian of records.
The committee itself is based out of Jensen Beach, Florida, which is 95.8% white, by the way, which is where I assume KW lives on the fucking beach.
Keith is listed in the FEC filing as living in Stewart, Florida.
Between them, a 12-minute car drive over a single bridge.
So I think we can fairly assume they're beach buddies.
But who is Keith Bessette?
Well, his Twitter AVI is a photo of him at a gun range, rocking a scoped assault rifle.
And there's a photo of the Constitution in the background.
And finally, the bio reads, student, fact checker, reason advocate, critic of government,
podcaster, writer, musician, punk videographer.
So how punk is Keith?
Well, here is a clip that he posted to his YouTube channel of himself addressing the Martin County Board of Commissioners in a July 7th special meeting.
I'd like you to discuss a concept before you vote on mask orders.
Business owners don't want to kill their customers.
The citizens don't want to die.
Americans determine reasonable precautions for themselves.
Blanket orders from authority never make the right decision for everybody in every situation.
That's why the Soviet Union failed.
In the end, the mass enforcement on businesses and the public will be up to the police and sheriffs.
I ask that they act as peace officers protecting liberty, not as enforcement thugs following orders.
You can make a recommendation if you want, but don't issue an order that claims that you believe that the public is too stupid to figure out what to do for themselves.
Orders from government always have a gun behind them.
Why don't you bring the gun to my maskless face and make me put a mask on?
With the order, you're the one behind the gun in the end.
Even if it's a fine, what if you don't pay the fine?
I descended further down the rabbit hole, finding Keith's failed podcast, Liberty Solutions.
By the way, heads up Keith, your link is broken on your Twitter profile to your podcast.
But here's how the pod description ends.
Trigger warning.
Facts and logic are used here.
Feelings are not accepted as arguments.
May not be appropriate for prisoners of their own drama.
So just swinging in the wind, just pissed, just furious before we even get to listen to a single word of his podcast.
That's a description.
Spitting mad.
Hilariously, Keith interviewed K.W.
Miller back in June under his Liberty Solutions brand, and the whole thing is staged to look like a proper independent media interview.
Uh, except of course they're fucking awful at it, and because America's a parody, this segment is filmed in what they've dubbed the quote, liberty trailer.
Uh, which is just a windowless hell box parked in the middle of a Florida gun show.
Right.
And I mean that very literally.
That's, that's really the symbol of freedom, a closed, hot, box full of flags and guns.
Apologies for the awful background noise.
It sounds like the boys are running a generator and air conditioning simultaneously.
I believe to avoid being cooked alive in the box.
Yeah, Keith here with Liberty Solutions.
We're in the Constitutional Trailer with K.W.
Miller.
He's running for Congress in Florida District 18.
So, K.W., tell us what you're running on.
Hey, Keith.
Well, first of all, it's an honor and a privilege to be in the Constitutional Trailer, I have to tell you.
Hopefully you can maybe get a picture for the viewers at the end of this video, but I'm looking at a rendition of the full American Constitution.
And some very nice memorabilia here, as well as some Second Amendment memorabilia.
Showing guns.
Great to be here at the Stuart Gun Show, to see all of the Americans exercising their constitutional rights to come out and assemble their first assembly rights, and also peacefully assemble, as well as to really just get some fresh air on a hot summer day and enjoy the show.
Just getting some fresh air in my box with my boy.
Travis, attempt to explain what you just saw.
I was like, what really killed it was that they cut to exterior shots of the trailer.
So you heard them talking inside this closed box, which is like smaller than a prison cell, honestly.
It's very strange.
I just have this vision of these two little piggies just cooking under the guns of the Constitution.
So if you saw that little stumble at the beginning where Keith kind of corrects him, he's like, yeah, you know, on a specific right that he wants him to talk about, that's kind of the whole thing.
He's trying to coach him through it.
It's very, very painful to watch.
So this paints a slightly clearer picture of how the operation got started.
These two buddies hanging out with some beers, and they're like, we should run, man.
We should run you.
Because no one likes me or my podcast, but you should run.
But why did they do it?
Well, here's a June 10th blog post by Keith Bissett that clarifies why they might want to unseat Brian Mass, the Republican incumbent in Florida's 18th district, who once again is going to win.
Please note that Keith wrote the caption himself.
So the picture is the same one as his Twitter.
He's got Wayfarer sunglasses, a Mic 4 in his arms, you know, a hat.
Yeah, Microphone 4.
A Microphone 4, curved just perfectly.
He's using proper grip, although I actually do think that he's using improper trigger finger etiquette.
It looks like his finger is over the trigger while he's looking backwards at the camera, smiling.
Uh, actually, yeah.
Very dangerous.
That's true.
Yeah.
In his own fucking photo!
You're a gu- Oh, fuck, man.
These idiots.
And the caption that he's written for himself is, Author Keith Bissett wondering if Congressman Brian Mast wants to use his office power to take this one.
So basically he's fantasizing that Brian Mast, the Republican incumbent, is going to take away the guns of Floridians.
Now potentially this is some sort of like debate about bump stocks.
I'm not gonna get it.
I don't give a shit.
I don't give a shit.
I just think it's funny and it kind of shows why they might want to, you know, kind of pose an obstacle to him.
So, that's a grudge.
But, like, from a libertarian grudge, how did we get to, like, full conspiracy nonsense and this video in which KW introduces his unintentionally hilarious alter ego, Mr. Nobody?
Now, I know we've played this clip in last week's QAnon News segment, but I think it's really important in light of this episode's focus.
The video is very blurry and entirely shot in dash cam style and sort of...
I guess photobombed by a giant PowerPoint-like text and its animations, including a Street Fighter KO title and an explosion that goes off directly over KW's face in the middle of it.
You'll hear those when they come, and we also did not modify the music.
Let me make sure everybody's resting easy.
You know, all of you have been sending me messages saying, you know, look, KW, we know you lead the silent majority.
We got it.
We're behind you.
Aren't you afraid of the Boogeymen?
Okay, uh, how do I say this?
My code name is Mr. Nobody for 30 years.
Let's put it this way.
If Mr. Nobody shows up at your doorstep, you got a problem.
I am the Boogeyman.
And I'm coming after the leftists, the liberals, the rhinos, and the globalists.
The rhino traders.
And I'll be putting out the notices to everybody shortly.
Everybody's been asking.
People like me don't get involved unless we mean business.
Time to clean up, folks.
Time to clean up and take this country back.
And I want everybody to mobilize with me.
You can't sit back anymore.
If I'm leading, you need to follow.
And you need to join me.
And join the movement.
Okay?
So I guess it's worth debating, like, is there a third younger person involved?
Or does Keith make the videos?
And then the second question is, like, are all those crazy, very hyper-specific conspiracy theories written by KW himself?
He seemed almost confused by some of it in the interview with Tim.
Yeah, in the interview with Tim, he seemed to be totally unaware of even who Patti LaBelle is or what she does.
He was very confused by all that, whereas the Twitter version of K.W.
Miller Was all in on Patti LaBelle, talking about her constantly.
So that's a one of many big flags to tell you that he is not actually the person driving this Twitter account.
So potentially there's three of them, two boys in the constitutional trailer box and potentially like a smaller cage inside that for like a child that does the tweeting.
So Tim, as we mentioned, did interview KW on his show for a good period of time, about 15 or 20 minutes, and it was pretty wild, very confrontational.
We'll be talking to Tim about that.
Interview with Tim Heidecker.
Tim, thank you for joining us for our 100th episode.
Wow, that's a big show for you guys, so thanks for having me.
Yeah, we were really excited when it completely by chance lined up, and that kind of fits with K.W.
Miller, because for some reason, you know, we kind of talked about you coming on, and then this entire thing went down with this beautiful man.
That's right, we've been in touch for a month or so, I think, or at least three weeks, maybe.
Before KW.
So yeah, this lined up beautifully.
I want to ask you about the interview you did with him because it's amazing.
But before we jump into that, I wanted to know, like, you've been tweeting about QAnon even before KW.
I know that you've, like, tweeted about other conspiracy theories like Pizzagate.
So my question, I guess, is when did you first start paying attention to that?
That's a good... I mean, probably whenever you guys did.
I mean, I did a song.
You know the song I did called Q?
Q, what's happened to you?
You used to believe you ran on the roof, oh it was funny Yeah it was fun when you thought that this was control that
you want And it was when the light of the day was coming
Um, yeah I don't remember exactly how it came into my...
Conscious.
I guess if we track when I put that song out, it would probably be around then because I tend to like read about something or hear about something and kind of react to it pretty quickly.
It's kind of a fun rabbit hole to go down.
I probably read something by like Will Sommer or whoever, like who's ever been sort of following this from the beginning.
Somebody like Dave Weigel is always kind of early adopters or early, you know, journalists who are following this stuff on the grassroots level, I guess.
But Vic, I'm sure Vic and I were sharing stuff with each other, you know.
We don't have to get into it, but there was like a period where Pizzagate kind of got entangled in Vic's life as well.
And so, like, you kind of have been making comedy about, but also kind of suffering, or at least, like, yeah, people around you have been suffering from some of these conspiracy theories.
So, like, how does that mix up?
Like, is it hard to kind of approach the topic?
Well, I guess it's frustrating in the sense that, like, I know what I'm doing in my life and I know pretty well what somebody like Vic is doing.
I know the kind of people we are.
And then I find these videos online that are talking about us being these like creepy sexual predators of, you know, the child sex ring stuff.
And it's just like baffling and, and funny on some level, but also just very frustrating because I want to, there's part of me that wants to like reach out to a lot of them and be like, Why don't you, like, come over and spend the weekend with me and my family, you know what I mean?
Like, you are getting this, you are so off-base, it's unbelievable and it's kind of sad.
So you're inviting all QAnon followers just to come over and have... No, but a good example is, like, just yesterday somebody DM'd me and I looked at him and he was like, he's not a Q guy, but he was like, dude, please tell me you have nothing to do with some of this pedo shit.
And I looked at his thing and I was like, oh, this guy doesn't seem like he's gone fully down the rabbit hole yet, but he's online and he's kind of engaged with some things.
And you could see him kind of getting a little, whatever it is, red pilled or something.
And I was like, okay, this is a good point for me to jump in and be like, dude, absolutely not.
That's horrific.
That's the most vile thing you could say about somebody.
And that's why they're doing it because I am very politically outspoken.
It's a tactic, you know, and, and he wrote back like, Oh, thanks.
And I'm trying, you know, I'm not, uh, you know, I'm not one of those guys.
I'm not, I was just curious, you know, I just want to make sure, cause I like your stuff.
So there is, I think there still is something, maybe there are people that can be reached or can be kind of reasoned with before they get completely just.
You know, I've completely drank the Kool-Aid, so... Yeah, I mean, like, for example, there are people who can't tell Epstein from a literal Tim and Eric sketch.
In fact, some of the stupid conspiracy theories were surrounding the clown child skit.
Yeah, child clowns.
I'm Steve Ahanahan, and thank you for your Steve Ahanahan Child Clown Rental!
You love my clowns!
You care for my clowns like you care for your children!
Please pay attention to the following video!
It'll help you get the most out of your child clowns!
When your child clowns arrive, they may not want to come out of their carrier.
If shyness occurs, gently tap on the clown box.
So they got absolutely furious at this clearly, like, this comedy sketch, you know?
And so for them, there's no difference between reading the news about, like, Epstein and that.
So, I mean, does that make it—are those—is that, like, an unreachable zone?
And can you make comedy about it?
I mean, it almost—it's hard.
Yeah, I mean, I can't—I don't know.
Like, the child clown thing's been around for a few years, and now there was a recent one.
There's this woman—I don't know if you've covered—I'll give you guys a tip on this woman.
I don't know how—what much she's in your— I don't know.
Travis, does that ring a bell?
Natalie Denise, do you know Natalie Denise?
I don't know.
Travis, does that ring a bell?
Natalie Denise?
Natalie Denise.
She's not huge, but she's one of these that's like, maybe she'll be of interest to you.
I don't know how much it's like this balance.
And we could talk about this with KW is how much attention you give these people versus
is it worth kind of like calling them out or is it worth ignoring them?
I don't really know.
But she's this YouTuber with 36,000 subscribers.
The video she did about Adult Swim and Paedogate or whatever has like 100,000 views and so she does about, it's about an hour long video where she goes, and what's interesting about her is she looks like a Kardashian.
Like she looks like she could be doing beauty tips or Hollywood gossip or something.
She's fully, like, branded as this, like, like a celebrity, not a celebrity, but you know, like a personality.
Influencer.
Influencer, totally.
And I feel like that she, I don't know if she might believe it, she might not, but it feels like she's found a scheme, like she's found like a pyramid scheme or something that she can exploit and try to make into a business or something.
But she goes on and on about the child clowns and Again, it's that thing like, God, in the fucking room, when me and Eric and like three other dumb guys, not dumb, you know, just like a couple of mid 20s, alt comedy fans sat around and we're talking about child clowns.
It's just like the last it's like, so removed from any kind of conspiracy theory, any kind of nefarious, it's just stupidity, just silliness, just stuff to make each other laugh.
You know, and what, you know, we did that sketch and that turned into another sketch and then we brought Will Ferrell in to do it.
And it's just full, like, this is 10 years ago or whatever, 11, 12 years ago.
And so there was none of this, there was no talk about Q or Pizzagate or anything.
It was, it was so innocuous.
And so, you know, we meant it to be creepy and weird and uncomfortable, of course, but that's the kind of shit we did, you know?
But it wasn't, it's just like, and then we talk about pizza, and because we talked about pizza, we make jokes about pizza.
It's just like, how did this, you know, it's just stupid, it's just insane.
But you know, she's talking about, and it's weird how it mixes between them, they're not going to like the humor, like no matter what's going on.
Of course not.
They're going to be confused or sickened or turned off by the jokes.
But then it mixes in with their own critical reaction to the comedy.
Where it's like, how could anyone find this funny?
Well, that's not really the point.
I mean, that's really not what you seem to be upset about.
Like, what are you saying?
Are you saying I'm a hack comedian or are you saying I'm a pedophile?
Fucking pick one.
Am I breaking a law?
And so, you know, I get upset about it and I talk to the network.
I've talked to my lawyer and stuff.
And you know, the sad thing is there's just not that much you can do because they're fairly Clever about how they talk about all this stuff.
So it's not like they're coming out and saying that I am a pedophile.
Um, although some people have and they're, but they're not, you know, I can't, what are you going to do is like a whack-a-mole thing.
And it's like, but it, it does, it does trickle into just the way, because people's attentions are so small and, and, and reactive that you do have people who don't pay attention to this stuff very closely here.
Like, Just an ancillary association with that with us and it shapes their perception.
So you'll have like somebody, Vic found some girl who is like tweeted something like, Boy, I said, I mentioned I liked him and Eric on some message board and about a hundred people said that they were pedophiles.
And it's like, well, what?
Yeah.
And it's just like, no link, of course.
Yeah.
No link to the thread.
It's like, yeah.
So it does, you know, it hasn't really affected my life in a real, in a real way.
You know, it's not like, right.
You know, I'm not, I don't know.
But because I'm also like very combative online about, you know, telling Roger Stone
that he should hang himself.
Like, I'm gonna put, I'm putting myself out there and of course, like, how much can I really complain
if they're gonna come after me?
I guess it's sort of like, which it's par for the course or whatever, so.
Yeah, it's like, I don't think you have to worry about any QAnon follower, you know,
costing you a job or anything.
Well, unless they get elected to Congress, which is.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
I hear that the QAnon lobby is taking over Adult Swim soon, so.
No, they don't seem to care.
Or in what, you know, which is a good thing and a bad thing, I guess.
It would be nice if they kind of like.
We're a little more proactive about stomping some of this out, but maybe their strategy is like, just ignore, ignore, ignore.
We know it's not what you guys are about, so whatever.
Speaking of ignore, ignore, ignore, K.W.
Miller is the exact kind of guy who's going to be yelling until you pay attention.
And so how did you find out?
What was your first contact with this guy and how did you come to book him on the show?
I think a couple, like July 1st, like last week or whatever.
Before July 4th, somebody on Twitter, you know, said, check out this guy.
And it was a video of him, classic video, like maybe you guys talked about already, but him in the car.
And there's like explosions going, like really cheap homemade explosions going off and had this like pro wrestling kind of vibe to it.
And so I was like, is this you?
And so I was like, I followed him and started paying attention and then was sending it to my producer Matt on office hours and Vic and Doug and being like, we should get this guy on the show.
I don't think we've really gotten anybody like that, but we've talked about getting somebody.
Most people, I mean, we've reached out to all these nuts like, you know, Terrence What's his name?
Terrence K. Williams or whatever, the African-American comedian that loves Trump and Benny Johnson.
I'd love to have these people call into the show just to scrap it up with them a little bit.
Our show's kind of too small for them to maybe bother, but I was like, oh, he doesn't have very many followers.
He's running for Congress.
I could probably trick him into coming on the show, or not even trick, but at least Like, we'll just throw it out there and see.
And he took the bait.
I mean, he wrote to us.
It was funny because he was like, he was like, yes, what number should I call?
I'm like, well, we use Zoom.
And he was like, you expect me to use that Chinese company to call into the show?
But, you know, we were like, is this guy for real?
Like, you know, and even if he is for real, like how much of this is just like kind of online bluster and online You know, you know, he's just playing it up a little bit.
So I don't know.
I still don't really know how much of it is real and whatnot, but I mean, you guys did some good research, I guess.
So then we had him on and, you know, I wasn't intending it for it to be like a, a, a, uh, like a Joe Rogan style free exchange of ideas.
You know, I may disagree with you, but I respect your point of view, kind of thing.
Well, actually, he said that he loved you.
I mean, is there any... Yeah, like, multiple times.
Can he earn your love in return?
I mean, is he gonna be unrequited, or...?
I don't know if that's just, like, a thing you say when you're, like, about to go to war with somebody.
Like, hey, brother, I love you, but, you know, you're wrong on this.
Or if he's a fan of fuckin'... I doubt it.
...Bridesmaids or something.
Who knows?
But, you know, like I said, we said we're not having him on to be like, let's take this seriously, your point of view.
Your point of view is like, this is not something to be taken seriously.
Anytime I say Q, I make sure to call it, you know, this Q nonsense that you're involved in.
You know, it's like we're not taking it seriously.
You're a clown.
You're a joke.
I am going to have you on and I'm going to tell you to stop harassing Patti LaBelle and, you know, and call you a disgrace.
That's right.
And have puppets interview you and ask you, you know, why Trump and Epstein are such close friends and just treat it like, you know, I mean, obviously the When Howard Stern used to have on like the KKK guy, that was sort of the, I think that was kind of the, their philosophy behind that was like, have these people on, but treat them as clowns, you know, because they are, they shouldn't be treated, you know, he shouldn't be on CNN or whatever as like the opposing view.
It's like, you are a sideshow.
You are a carnival act.
Yeah, I mean, that's better than what CNN did with Richard Spencer when they literally had him on to, like, express his point of view.
And then they love to say, like, oh, how dare, like, Bernie go on Rogan or something.
It's like, you literally had a white nationalist just kind of as a talking fucking head in a square.
Right.
And, you know, we're not we're not a news program.
It's different.
We're trying to do something entertaining.
So I don't follow I don't need to follow any kind of like journalistic standards or anything when I talk to these people.
But, you know.
I'd like to try to swindle and steam as many of them on the show as I can, where it's still funny and entertaining.
Now, there's people that have a kind of knee-jerk reaction of fans of mine saying, don't give these people any air, don't give them any platform.
And you know, it's just a little, to me, that feels just like a little, yeah, that's the first reaction is.
But if you listen to the interview, I think I tried to just treat him like a clown the whole time, and dunk on him, or whatever, the best I can.
Yeah, I mean, the water is rising, though, so it's like, you can't just ignore it forever.
I mean, the argument of not covering these people when there's multiple congressional candidates at this point, I think it's in the water.
I think it's important that these people are exposed as buffoons.
I think that that's...
Yeah, they put themselves out there.
I mean, if you want to go out on Twitter and say Beyonce's Italian, you know, you're bound to get some kind of pushback.
And so since I've had this kind of history of doing the kind of Andy Kaufman-y style, like not really clear about what is real and what is not real and whether I'm in character or not in character, I was like, oh, this is a new way of doing it is to take someone that is real and insist that he's not.
Since the interview, people go, this guy can't be real.
I go, he's not.
He's not.
We made him up.
I'm sorry.
It's a big joke.
And so now it's like some of my audience is confused.
That's not necessarily always great, but I feel like KW is now spending half his time explaining to people that he's real, which is like...
Every candidate needs to be in the position to do that.
That's not a good place to be as a political candidate.
It's like, no, no, no, I'm not a joke.
I'm real.
So much of the QAnon argument is that it's real.
We can clog him up and waste his time, slow him down.
I mean, like you guys said, he's not going to win, but, you know, it's just like, dude, you're not in the conversation.
You guys can't be taken seriously in any way.
laughing at you and treating it as, like, a carnival act.
Yeah, if you want to grab for power, you'll have that.
And then, it's the tarring first, and then the feathering is going to be us going through your FEC filings and finding your recent divorce, your shitty gun friend from the beach in, like, your tiny Florida, like, rich, white town.
The constitutional trailer hotbox.
The constitutional hotbox that you fucking, you and your friend, huff your own, like, ball fumes in.
Great stuff.
But I've seen, you know, and there's people I know that are like, they're like, this is scary stuff.
Like these people can be dangerous.
And I guess that's true, but it seems like the majority, large majority of the followers are like my, not, not literally my aunt, but they're like, they're like aunts and like they're older, depressing people that are on Facebook all day long.
They're not like a force to be reckoned with.
But maybe I'm wrong.
You know, maybe they're going to storm my house.
They've written worse stories than storming your house and calling it the bestie.
So in the end, like, how do you feel like the interview went?
At the end, you kind of were like, you're jokingly saying, hey, we should get him back on.
Hey, apologize to him and make sure he feels OK.
You know, kind of like joking about being in the green room crying afterwards.
But but I'm wondering, like, yeah, what like would you have K.W.
back on or are you interested?
We could try to book you some other ones.
Yeah, well just feed me the other, like I want to get that Sherry Landon on who was doing that.
Sure.
Was that her name?
Something Landon from Oklahoma?
Yes.
Who was that one, that video that was like, oh, did you guys make this video?
Yeah, that's outsider art.
Her stuff is incredible.
Yeah.
I mean, I thought it went okay.
I mean, I was like, I always get really angry and start yelling at them.
And I also like, I'm not super, I'm not super smart about Like I don't have a bunch, I'm not sitting here with like a bunch of stats and a bunch of like facts.
I'm not going to like dunk on this guy.
I just talk about my own personal experience, my family's, you know, I talked about my grandfather being like a union guy who you couldn't have the life he had because of the way that the right wing in general is just kind of decimated like the middle class in the past 40 years.
So like, I just talk about like from that angle and, but I'm not going to like dispute I can't get into his crazy theories and try to debunk them.
No, and there was a kind of heartbreaking moment, actually, in their interview where
you started talking about education, and then you kicked to Vic, and Vic was explaining that
his wife works in the educational system, and then it got thrown back, and he's like,
oh, is it in California?
And he's like, oh, okay, and just dismisses it.
Then you make a joke about, oh, it's much better in, like, Alabama, I'm sure.
And he doesn't even catch that.
He just thinks you just got owned.
So there's this weird gliding.
You're gliding past each other.
The consciousness can't even find friction there.
Also, the fact that, like, you guys looked into this guy, and he's coming from a place of a classic globalist.
So it's like, either you're renouncing your life's work, or the way you've, you know, Um, it's just crazy.
So whatever.
I mean, I, I also don't want to waste my whole show or your show, um, on people like this, you know, I don't want to like make it just the show that just focuses on this, but you know, I think as the election gets closer, I also think it's strategically interesting or important to like connect the, that KW Miller and Donald Trump are not that far apart.
And that like, as we're talking about, The right in this country, whatever that means, whatever that political spectrum means anymore is like KW Miller, Landon, Mitch McConnell, you know, they're all the same.
They're all like, like the more you connect those two, those things together, it's like, that is what the Republican Party is now.
It's these kinds of people in it.
And, and I hope that makes whatever you'd consider sort of reasonable Republicans, like my parents or, uh, you know, just people that want to, that have like a very fairly normal Yeah, now it's politically expedient to embrace conspiracy theories, and we were trying to figure out whether there's a third person writing some of these more, like, in-your-face, like, rapid-fire conspiracies that he doesn't even seem to know exist.
Like, on your show, he's kind of confused by the Patti LaBelle thing.
I mean, what do you think?
Do you think he even knows half this shit is going out?
That's a good question.
I mean, how do you keep track?
And one thing I said to him is just, you guys must live, if you believe it, you just must live in total fear and total, like, paranoia.
Because it becomes like, well, is this, if this is your view of the world, then it's just nothing, like, the fact that all the universities are corrupt, all the education system is, you know, infiltrated by a globalist elite that want to brainwash our children, like, It's that kind of wacky John Birch Society stuff from, you know, the the fifties that I would think would be like really mentally damaging to people that are living in that.
So either you're either you're like absorbing that all day long and these people have to be online all day long and sort of interpreting it and getting feedback or you're totally craven and totally exploiting it.
Like Trump wearing a mask yesterday.
I mean, look at some of the comments there.
Those people, their heads are spinning because they're like, well, wait a minute.
Like, sir, with all due respect, there is no, you're sending the wrong message.
Like they, you know, it just must be a constant maelstrom of confusion and paranoia.
And, um, you know, you hear all these people who are, my family doesn't talk to me anymore.
And, you know, so for those people, I feel bad because I don't, I think they're, they're just getting swept up in, in sort of the Facebook addiction, social media addiction.
You know, and that's the route.
That's like the direction they went.
But I would think somebody like K.W.
Miller or anybody that's reasonably educated and been successful and are trying to get political office here, there's got to be an element of, you know, snake oil salesmanship going on here where they're seeing an angle.
Yeah.
Trump's probably doing that too, right?
I mean, their campaign's got to be like playing to that just a little bit and not You know, winking at them and giving them enough oxygen to keep them with them.
Yeah, I mean, K.W.
Miller specialized in selling insurance for people who wanted to go and exploit Africa, Sub-Saharan Africa specifically, so what he did was literally basically get paid for other people to be scared.
Right.
So that's what he used to do, you know, and he paints it as this noble thing, but the truth is, all it does is basically reimburse the family of the guy who gets, like, killed.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's mostly just insurance for, like, the results of what you've been over there doing and the inevitable, like, violence and spillover.
And like you said on your show, he's probably involved with all these shitty, like, corporate mercenary outfits.
The guy has no values.
He's got plenty of money, unless he fucked it all up in his divorce and all of his, like, fucking, you know, courts shit.
So it's like...
You're right.
This guy is going to disappear one day, but we're going to have another 20 years of melted Florida brains attempting to run for Congress under QAnon.
That's why I wonder if his whole Mr. Nobody schtick is just a rich guy who hired a private security detail at some point and was kind of around guys with weapons.
And basically was like, I'm the boss.
I'm Mr. Nobody.
Like, I wonder if, like, his shitty spy persona, like, comes from just, like, shitty interventionalist shit that he was doing with corporations.
Mr. Nobody's definitely, like, the country club nickname he got for, like, always snorting all the coke or something.
You know what I mean?
But he wouldn't, I mean, if he has a brain and sort of a sense of, like, you know, political He would not have come on my show.
The fact that he came on my show is a massive stupid mistake because now he's just being inundated with my assholes and the idiots that follow me.
Junior comics who are trying to get my attention are all goofing on him.
I don't even have to think of an audience.
You know, Howard Stern or something, but he got zero supporters from doing my show.
Yeah, that was a bit of a misstep.
I think that it doesn't, like, attention is always positive, doesn't really work when you're dealing with, like, alt-comedy or people who are willing to, like, research your FEC shit.
You know what I mean?
Like, he kind of thought he was probably, I mean, that's what he's like, I love you, Tim!
I love the fact that you have half a million followers and I think this will increase my count by exactly 4k this week or something.
You know what I mean?
I'd love that strategy session with him and Keith Bissett.
Is it Keith Bissett?
Yeah.
I love the theory that they're beach buddies or they just sit at the bar and like, you know what we should do?
I'm going to help.
That's just like, they're bored.
That's all.
They're just bored.
Yeah.
No, no, yeah.
We live in a cursed prison and the people holding the keys are demented boomers and they're going to torment us until they are forced to leave, basically.
Well, people should definitely check out your podcast.
I love it personally.
Thank you.
Yeah.
And obviously we love Vic.
We had him on.
DJ Doug Pound is amazing as well.
I actually knew him from before your podcast as well.
Great, great guy.
Great comedian.
Yeah, we're having fun.
It is like chaos.
It's pure chaos.
The way you open them.
He's like, loud music.
You're just screaming about something.
You're singing songs.
I mean, it's like a morning show.
We do it in the morning and we We like to pretend that we're in like a you know we're like we grew up with like morning zoo stuff but but then it like it's evolved and it's settled into this kind of fun freewheeling lots of interesting guests and we're very you know politically active so we've been talking to talking to interesting advocates and you know but also funny people and music and you know a wide range of interests so it's just been fun to also connect with my audience and talk to them and
Well, before we say goodbye, I mean, we are going to be recording this story, so we'll say goodbye now, but you may be back, but it would be under a different name.
Maybe even no name.
doing this thing that's live and loose and not precious and cheap to make.
Of course.
Well, before we say goodbye, I mean, we are going to be recording this story, so we'll
say goodbye now, but you may be back, but it would be under a different name, maybe
even no name, maybe even a Mr. Nobody.
So people can follow you online at Tim Heidecker.
That's H-E-I-D-E-C-K-E-R.
And yeah, once again, we're huge fans of... It's an honor to have you on, to be honest.
We're huge fans of Tim and Eric, etc.
All the writing that you've done along the years.
All your characters are incredible.
I promised my brother I would tell you this, but he had my nephew a couple months ago, and he was born like two months premature.
And while he was in the NICU, he was sending all of the boys in the group text these videos of him with his kid being like, You are my son.
So, like, that's how deep we are into the Tim Heidecker catalog.
So thank you, man, for everything that you've done.
You've inspired us big time.
Thanks, guys.
Keep up the good work.
You are my son.
You're better than anyone.
You're just like a shiny new toy.
You are my boy.
The Miller Identity.
And what can I get for you?
The young barista smiled sweetly.
K.W.
Miller squinted his eyes looking at the large pictures of various caffeinated beverages on the sleek black menu.
One Venti Reese's Peanut Butter Blast Off.
The barista was a young woman with a turquoise streak in her hair.
She pressed a couple buttons on the register in front of her before reaching down and grabbing a cup and a Sharpie marker.
Your name?
K.W.
licked his lips and wriggled his toes a little.
You can call me...
Mr. Nobody.
Can you hear that song?
Confused, put off even, perhaps she hadn't heard him correctly.
Carl's confidence began to slide.
The barista quickly scribbled on the cup and shoved it down the line.
KW was sweating now.
A sweet, ghostly tune drifted through the rafters.
Can you hear that song?
Who sings that song?
The barista smiled at KW and chuckled, pointing to a display case filled with Patti LaBelle
CDs.
Why, it's Patti LaBelle!
Don't you just love her?
Carl glanced down at the small display case.
A smiling woman's face was plastered on the cover of every CD, but there was something wrong with it.
Her features in the photo were sagging before Carl's eyes.
He panicked.
Carl stumbled backwards away from the counter, his palms clammy and his face ghostly pale.
His small, poor-seen eyes darted around the Starbucks.
The other patrons were closing in on him, their faces blistering and peeling like a hot dog on a grill.
Chester Peabody!
The barista called out, placing a garbage can filled with whipped cream and peanut butter sauce on the to-go counter.
K.W.
lurched towards the counter with his straw already in his mouth.
But before he could even reach the sweet syrupy nectar, the coffee shop Marxist thug swarmed the gloopy frozen drink, sinking their straws into the sludge and slurping it up like they themselves had paid for it.
Agent Miller seized awake, clutching his chest.
It was only another nightmare.
He hadn't had polluted dreams like this since Ghana after that speedboat chase involving the Greek king.
He stumbled out of his bed and immediately located his keys, wallet, and phone, thanks to his Tile app,
a clever Christmas gift from one of his clients.
Miller opened his closet. An endless selection of Easter-colored button-downs, polos, and New Balance sneakers were at his
disposal.
He pressed a button on a nearby Nespresso machine.
Best coffee in the world, he said to himself as the golden liquid hissed into his mug.
KW stepped out onto a large balcony overlooking the vast sprawl of lights and palm trees.
The city beneath him glistened, and he was its master, watching over it with a judicial eye, waiting for some globalist to make a mistake.
In fact, Agent Miller was so enamored with Jensen Beach's beauty, he almost didn't hear the thud of rappelling ropes hitting the roof of his penthouse.
Almost.
Without warning, a man in full SWAT gear came careening down from the sky.
A fully kitted Mike-4 slung over his shoulder.
Agent Miller reacted quickly, diving out of the way as the operative smashed through the sliding balcony door.
Miller sprang to his feet, completely unharmed.
He casually strolled over to where the man was laying in a heap of chip plaster and broken glass.
Now you see me, now you don't.
Mr. Nobody eats your bones.
He grabbed the man's legs and dragged him across the carpet through the shards of glass, propping him up against the plush leather couch.
Who sent you?
Who sent you?
Crash!
A dozen other operatives burst into the penthouse, all carrying silent submachine guns.
All K.W.
could see was the red glare from their laser sights, trained on his unusually muscular body.
Typical.
The handful of police officers stood around, looking a little confused.
Just relax, sir.
He clicked a button on his radio.
We're on the premises with the suspect right now.
Possible 5150.
You better not touch any of my lotions!
scanned the Florida retirement bungalow.
Looked like some punk kid had moved in with his rich dad and trashed the place.
Leftover pizza boxes, torn Kiss posters and collectibles, and waste bins overflowing with balled up tissue paper.
You better not touch any of my lotions.
Carl yelled, his two officers approached him and gently pulled his hands behind his back.
Carl, we've got a warrant for your arrest, one of them said.
What's the charge?
Ghana was a Chinese op.
Hey Chief!
here you have 11 unpaid speeding tickets brother and 11 failures to appear.
Martin County issued a warrant.
He began to read Carl his rights, whose face seemed to weigh heavy with regret.
Hey chief, you better come take a look at this!
One of the officers called from down the hallway.
Some kind of YouTube guy?
Ten.
Nine.
Eight.
house and towards the master bedroom where the other officer was waiting for him.
Piles of wicker furniture and vintage toys and games had been shoved to the edges of
the room to make space for a small table and two generic map illustrations hung opposite
each other on the wall.
In the center of the table stood a small laptop.
What is it, sir?
Field shook his head.
I don't know, Jimmy.
Some kind of YouTube guy?
Ten, nine, eight, seven.
The operatives looked confused.
One of the men near the laptop spun the screen around, revealing a digital clock that clicked from two to one.
Yahtzee.
Kaboom!
A fireball absorbed two of the assailants while managing to leave the tasteful wall decorations untouched.
Out of the corner of his eye, Miller noticed a pair of enemy agents raising their weapons at him, ready to fire.
He had to think quickly.
As their muzzles began to erupt, Miller grabbed a windsurfing board and sail from nearby closet, using it as a shield.
Thanks for the pickup, Alvarez.
It's getting hot in there.
expensive make and model, as well as the fact that the board seemed barely used, Miller
slipped through the front door, dashing into the street.
A black van pulled up silently.
The side panels slid open, and a pair of men wearing ski masks pulled Miller inside.
Thanks for the pickup, Alvarez.
It's getting hot in there.
Don't worry, nothing Mr. Nobody couldn't handle.
He flashed an accomplished grin.
The officer driving the paddy wagon looked over his shoulder.
Carl was slumped in the back seat, his pants looked soaked.
He was mumbling something about how Lil Xan and Bill Nye were officially on notice, and was demanding they stop at an Arby's drive-thru.
The van glided to a halt in a concrete loading dock in the back of a nondescript government building.
Miller exited the van and approached a sleek silver terminal.
He unbuckled his belt and unsheathed a large, live-looking penis, placing it in the terminal's receptacle.
With a satisfying With a satisfying thunk, his member was sucked into unseen
depths and a robotic female voice echoed from the terminal.
A pair of graphite doors slid open, revealing a high-tech lift.
Miller traced his hand over the grip of the Glock 9 tucked in his waistband.
He tickled and teased the trigger with his index finger.
The lift shot downwards, traversing miles of underground tunnels towards the Q-team's headquarters.
The jail guard looked at him stone-faced.
He laid out Carl Miller's possessions on a table and began logging them into a worn notebook.
Half a pack of caffeinated gum.
Spearmint.
One pair of sunglasses.
Oakley brand.
Three Starbucks napkins.
Soiled.
Carl watched as the booking officer loaded his things into a little plastic baggie and took them away.
Another officer approached and led him gently by the arm into a nearby interrogation room where he was handcuffed to a chair and left there.
So, Carl, you want to tell me what happened today?
I wanna see your clearance.
Eventually another officer, with a neatly trimmed goatee and golden mop of hair, wearing
a button-down shirt entered and sat opposite Carl at the table.
He looked tired, downtrodden, perhaps even hopeless.
He pulled out a notepad and a pen.
So Carl, you want to tell me what happened today?
I want to see your clearance.
Somebody get me this dipshit's clearance.
No one needs to see my clearance, Carl.
This is Jensen Beach Police Department, and I'm one of the detectives who works here.
Is that okay with you?
You're making a big mistake, pal.
You know who I work for?
No, Carl.
Who do you work for?
I'm the thin red line.
Who do you work for? Carl leaned forward in his seat pointing a thick sweaty finger at Officer
View. I'm the thin red line. Officer View looked slightly confused. The Terrence Malick film?
Carl shook his head, disgusted. He rolled his eyes and leaned into Officer View.
Look, I do business, okay? I have hundreds of businesses all over
over the world. When you do as much business as I do, you're bound to ruffle the feathers
of the big time socialists who just want to stick their straw right into your peanut butter
blast up. You feel me?
Officer, Vue shifted through a stack of printouts tucked into his notepad. I see here you've
had three UCC filings against you. Is that correct?
Hey, hey, that's private information.
Let's see, numerous speeding tickets on the 65?
High-speed chases, all right?
I was driving for my fucking life, dummy.
Officer View closed his notebook, placed it down on the table, and exhaled deeply, like a frustrated father.
We're going to go ahead and charge you for the 11th failure to appears.
I'm also going to ask that you be placed on a medical hold.
We'll have some of our people downtown to check you out, get you sorted.
You take care, Mr. Miller.
Carl squirmed in his seat.
Hey, come on, man.
Don't do an old K.W.
like that.
If this gets out, it'll ruin my election chances in the fall.
Come on, man.
I needed that campaign money to pay for the speeding tickets.
Don't you get it?
I was almost there.
Come on, man.
I really need a win today, brother.
I'm being sued by Beyonce.
Oh, hey.
That lawyer.
I can see a lawyer over there.
That's my lawyer.
Officer View glanced to where Carl was pointing.
A man in a rumpled suit was sitting in one of the holding cells, waving at them enthusiastically.
But it was no use.
His supervisor got up and slammed the large interrogation room door.
Agent Miller flicked off the agent standing behind the two-way mirror.
Another medical eval.
What a load of crap.
But, when you were as crazy out of control as KW was, you got used to these sort of things.
Miller wasn't worried.
He knew he'd be back on the 65 turnpike in no time, to a 90 with the top down.
Eyes and hands focused completely on Twitter, putting every single member of BTS on notice.
Thanks for listening to the hundredth episode of the QAnon Anonymous podcast.
If you don't already, go to patreon.com slash QAnonAnonymous and subscribe for five bucks a month to get a whole second episode every single week, plus access to our entire archive of premium episodes.
There are over 80 of them currently.
When you subscribe, you help us stay advertising-free and editorially independent.
We usually stream twice a week at twitch.tv slash QAnonAnonymous.
It's always a lot of fun.
For everything else, we have QAnonAnonymous.com, where you'll find merch, a link to our Discord, and access to the lost episodes, among other things.
Listener, until next week, may the Deep Dish bless you and keep you.
It's not a conspiracy.
It's a fact.
And now, today's Auto-Tune.
Fat cats making dubious decisions.
Washington needs adult supervision.
Abe Lincoln, where are you?
God save the red, white and blue.
Taxes are squandered in a Secret Service car.
Where's Ronald Reagan?
Where's FDR?
Where?
I'm so sick of politics.
The con men and their bag of tricks.
Fat cats making dubious decisions.
Washington needs adult supervision.
Woo!
Good job.
All right.
It's good to see you, Debbie Miller.
We're going live here.
Just give us a minute, see if we can't get a signal.
Sometimes every time I go live, it's a thunderstorm and a lightning storm and, you know, I guess the world is rumbling when I'm talking.
