Premium Episode 84: The QAnon King of England (Sample)
Joseph Gregory Hallett claims to be King John III and there are plenty who believe him. Explore with us this New Zealander's bizarre mind as he LARPs his way into history books — and even the bible.
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Welcome, listener, to the 84th premium chapter of the QAnon Anonymous podcast, the QAnon King of England episode.
As always, we're your hosts, Jake Rogatansky, Julian Field, and Travis View.
To you, he's just some guy called Greg.
To him, He's the bloody King of England.
This week we're examining a particular type of brain worm that permanently compromises its host.
Travis will be painting the portrait of Greg Hallett, a QAnon simpatico who is potentially the supreme ruler of the United Kingdom.
Joseph Gregory Hallett, King John III.
So, we've examined our fair share of kooks on this podcast, and all of them have, like, fallen down some particular rabbit hole.
But what if someone took it a step further?
What if someone didn't merely fall down the rabbit hole?
What if they became the rabbit hole?
What if they used their powers of misguided research to conclude that current events and the long arc of history were all pointing to one thing, themselves?
Joseph Gregory Hallett is such a man.
Through his own research of the Bible and the history of the British royal family, he has discovered that he is supremely important.
So if I could summarize this man in one, I would do it through just one clip in one interview that he did.
I've done some research and I kept on finding things that were pointing to me.
Incredible stuff.
Yeah, it just seems I'm the focus of a lot of this stuff.
Yes, like whenever I read about anything, it's really about me.
It's sort of miraculous.
I don't know why this keeps happening.
He has assembled in his mind this totally alternate world from the one we actually live in.
And it's so complex, it's usually difficult to understand what the fuck he's talking about from moment to moment.
Like, whenever he explains his beliefs, he always, like, says something that demands clarification or elaboration, and often it just never comes.
He's just sort of like a walking, talking bunch of loose threads.
So, Hallett's major claim to fame is that he is the rightful king of England.
Specifically, he is King John III, and so Queen Elizabeth II is a fraud, as is the entire royal family ever since Queen Victoria.
However, he hasn't always claimed that he is the rightful king.
I wasn't able to find much reliable information about Hallett's early life.
He's a New Zealander.
He claims that he studied architecture at the University of Auckland.
But starting in the mid-2000s, he was an author of books on alternate history.
He has a rather unorthodox view of history, in that he believes that the story of the past taught in universities is all bunk, as he explains in this 2009 interview.
How'd you get involved in this historical research?
Was this something of long standing?
Were you a student of history?
No, not at all.
If you studied history, you'd learn bunk.
Absolutely.
If you've studied history at university or school, you have been propagandized.
Wow, it sounds like they're yelling at each other down a hallway.
Like they're family members just, Honey!
I'm looking for the fucking mustard!
What you want for breakfast, eh?
If you've studied history, you've learned bunk, is an amazing thing to say.
Yeah, he also looks a bit like a Swiss boomer entrepreneur who's in the tech sector or something.
He has a weird haircut and beard and glasses combo.
Yeah, he seems kind of tanned and has a very well-groomed mustache.
Honestly, bored boomers who are just sitting on the lovely bump that they've accumulated over the course of their life are ruining the world just through the fact that they don't know what to do with themselves anymore.
One of his books he wrote in 2005, and it is titled Hitler Was a British Agent.
Oh, yep.
This is a history book, and it does what it says on the tin.
It's all about how Hitler was not the leader of the fascist Nazi regime, but was actually a secret British agent.
Honestly, I'm disappointed I did not hear this from Jake with no irony attached.
So here's what that book is about according to its Amazon description.
Hitler was a British agent covers Hitler's incestuous parentage, his training in Britain, his sex with men, his bizarre sexual habits with women, including fake suicides and murders made to look like suicides.
It delves into Hitler's psychiatric condition and how, during his missing year, he was manipulated by, quote, deconstruction to perform as a British agent, that is, an agent for the British war machine.
The book covers Hess and doppelganger Hess' simultaneous flights to Britain, Anthony Blunt's conception by a royal, Wallace Simpson's sexual practices with King Edward VIII, and how she leaked British secrets to Hitler.
Hitler was a British agent exposed as the first time operation Winnie the Pooh to remove Hitler out of Berlin.
It reveals that the origins of the Cold War were in the hunt for the missing Hitler from 1st of May 1945 and this became the excuse for surveillance in virtually every country in the world.
Oh, just having you read that at me made me want to punch through your skull and, like, through the drywall behind it and then out the fucking entire, like, apartment block.
I... This man... Infuriating!
...is pathological.
God damn it.
And also, what, what, he's like, his relation, his sex relations with women, including fake suicides.
I don't get together.
People are not...
No, his guy has some weird sexual hang-ups.
He's always talking about sex and pedophilia and then also he talks a lot about alternate history.
He talks about breeding sometimes, breeding and bloodlines.
He's got something wrong with him that he's made into a career.
I uncovered a web archive of Gregory Hallett's website from 2008, and from this he actually doesn't mention any of the secret King stuff at all.
Not mentioned whatsoever, which seems like it would have been worth bringing up.
What was it about?
Just a regular guy's website?
Well, no, actually it still portrays him as a super cool dude, but instead it portrays him more as like a super spy who's like doing stuff.
The go-to!
Mr. Nobody.
Yeah, exactly.
It's Mr. Nobody, it's Q. It's everything.
It's all the same shit.
It's the Boomer Larb.
I feel like this guy was like, when we look at him, I think he was kind of ahead of his time.
Like, this delusional thinking, this belief that you are the center of all events, belief that you are some sort of clever spy, just happens to be resonating in our age.
But he was on it for years.
I think they should hire him, hire Hallett as a graphic designer at the Q team headquarters.
Because I do like the way he uses skeuomorphism, which is a movement in design where you make things look like some sort of authentic, like vintage version of them.
You know, like having the paper in the back of the notepad app or whatever with the little lines and stuff.
So he does that a lot.
He burns the sides of documents.
He has fake seals.
He has like, he does a lot of work.
And I honestly, I think- A lot of preservation work, it sounds like.
Q-team's lagging.
They're really lagging in that department.
So hire Hallett.
Yeah, they need better props.
Yeah, cue an on prop comic in how long?
So here's how that old website described Hallett.
Greg Hallett trained in various psychological models in parallel with his architecture degree and training.
He traveled widely behind the Iron Curtain during the Cold War, hitchhiking on planes, making bunks out of airmail bags, to party and report between cities.
His contacts in Eastern Europe led to deep penetration of the Soviet Union.
How it functioned and how it was to colonize the West.
It was these qualifications that led him to buy buildings in Moscow immediately after the Berlin Wall fell.
Oh my God!
This led to interviews with the KGB and their revelations about the planned sex communism and deconstruction of Westerners.
What's sex communism?
I don't know, Jake, man.
Sex communism.
He just says things.
He just like- He has sex.
He has a word.
Oh, there's coming in seven more sex than me.
No.
It's a sex dash communism is his compound word that he's created.
It's the word sex communism.
I WANT IT!
What they had planned for the West happened in the West.
Equally, all modern history can be dated back to 1945.
What Hitler planned for the world happened to the world over the next 60 years.
Nonsense.
It is nonsense, but it's like a different kind of jumbled nonsense.
You know, I feel like this was sort of Greg Hallett's sort of exploratory phase.
He hadn't quite come up with the king persona yet.
He was still in the super spy mode.
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