Jake Maddock, a TikTok-savvy relationship coach with 1M followers, clashes with Pearl Daily’s Hannah Pearl Davis over modern dating’s gendered power imbalances—he insists men must dominate with confidence and rapid timelines (marriage in 18 months), while women should prioritize personality over looks, avoid single-mother dynamics unless already parenting, and reject "delusional" standards like age gaps or hookup culture. Both agree respect trumps love, dismissing bisexuality as incompatible with exclusivity, and frame dating as a strategic "war," where men shouldn’t owe closure but must demand utility. Their members-only community (pearlinvite.com) offers tactical courses—from dumping techniques to spotting cheating—rooted in post-divorce coaching for high-achieving women, often real estate professionals, who struggle with balancing feminine energy and practical dating demands. [Automatically generated summary]
Men most answered very quickly, no, because men are useless.
I mean this headline from The Hill, it caught my eye.
Most young men are single.
Most young women are not.
Young men have fallen faster than any demographic in America over the last 40 years.
It's a different world now.
Like, we don't need men the way that they used to.
I need men!
The future is female.
Men and women are drifting further apart, and society is crumbling because of it.
A fascinating debate has broken out about the value of marriage.
You've kind of got the TradCon versus Red Pill thing.
This men's rights crowd that sometimes just goes too far the other way.
Oh, you need to stop acting like grown boys and infants and actually become men.
Marriage is a bond, and it's a sacred bond.
It's a machine designed to extract resources from you.
Now many of the red-pilled have taken the position that it's bad for men to get married.
Hannah Pearl Davis, or just pearly things.
One of the most controversial faces in all of the internet.
She goes on to say that marriage is a terrible deal for men.
Because if me and you were in a business contract, you would never sign a contract where I am paid to leave.
Gee, what could go wrong there?
74% or something of divorces are initiated by women.
Men have everything to lose, primarily their own children.
Men get killed by the courts and by divorce laws.
I had no idea that courts of family law were courts of equity, not courts of law.
Because in family court, you don't need evidence to accuse someone of abuse.
You need no evidence.
When you guys say get married young, a lot of these men don't know what they're signing up for, and you're not going to be there when their entire life falls apart.
I interview them on the other side.
I didn't meet my son until he was 15 months old.
How much did you spend trying to get him back?
The legal fees alone was about $200,000.
Before you know it, you're homeless.
You're literally just thrown out onto the street.
We absolutely reinforce bad behavior from women.
Wives are taught to leave their husbands, and then daughters grow up without their fathers.
Family is the foundation of society.
Every problem in society comes from single mother homes.
A lot of women will just chase this negative rabbit hole of happiness, endless happiness.
Feminism's biggest failure is it lies to women.
We tell women to date as many guys as possible.
We tell them to put off family in a marriage.
You are allowed to leave your perfect husband.
You are allowed to end a relationship with a really great boyfriend.
Oh, freeze your eggs, have an abortion.
What?
You're evil.
I don't think there's anything else in life that we actually ever go into preparing to fail.
Like if you have the mentality of this is going to go wrong and be pessimistic, naturally the outcome is going to be that it's going to fail anyway.
It's self-sabotage.
That's the thing.
Like women are so willing to leave marriages because they're not happy.
This is not about happiness.
The most important thing is the children.
And the problem is we have a modern society where it's me, me, me.
My feelings leave when I feel like it instead of doing what's best for the kids.
This myth that we live in an age of male privilege.
Where's my male privilege?
They think, well, men have all the rights.
They have all the power.
Privilege, patriarchal system that we have.
Why doesn't our society care about men's rights?
I have no friends, no wife, and no social life.
Men are alone in this situation.
Men are homeless.
Men are thinking about eating guns.
I've seen so many men on the brink of suicide and they didn't do anything wrong.
How are you equal if the men are the ones that have to fight and die to defend the country?
The men are the ones that build and maintain all the infrastructure.
Women are helplessly dependent upon men.
The so-called deaths of despair from suicide, overdose, or alcohol, three times higher among men than among women.
Culture is telling men, you are no good.
You gotta get your act together.
I think men have failed themselves.
What kind of a man are you?
What kind of a woman are you going to attract?
If men are in trouble, so are women.
Everybody knows this is a huge problem, but nobody wants to admit it.
Every single woman at the table said they wanted a man.
500K, 500, 300K, 300K, 200K.
Am I crazy?
Everything is really set up against you to fail as a man.
Men make less than women.
Women don't want to marry them.
So, you know, who wants more economically and emotionally viable men?
Women.
I don't want to be an independent woman anymore.
I don't want to be a strong, independent woman.
I'm over it.
When is it going to be my turn?
Where are we meeting the men that don't?
I can't keep having these same conversations.
The only simp here is you, Pearl.
You sent for women.
I think you sent for women.
She's a provocateur.
She says stupid stuff, but Pearl is right about this.
It's already happening.
It's just not out in the open yet.
Now it's just hookup culture is going to be our fairy tale ending because men don't want a wife and women can't find a husband.
The future, if everybody follows your path, is there is no future.
If you go into population decline and our economy goes into decline, civilization will crumble.
The American story does not end well.
This is an existential crisis failing young men.
What is going on, everybody?
Welcome to another episode of Pearl Daily.
As you guys know, that is our intro video.
I'm then a trailer for our upcoming documentary.
The challenge is they have demonetized me for a year and a half.
So I had to start from square one raising funds for this.
And we have raised $25,000 for it, which is amazing.
However, we need to get to roughly $100K to get it finished.
So if you guys want to donate, feel free.
The link is in the description.
It's the second one.
Okay, so getting into today's topic today, we have a special guest on the show.
And guys, if you have a question for the guests, we're going to be doing more of these sit-downs.
Feel free to super chat.
Be nice, always be respectful of the guests.
So please don't make me read the thing that makes it awkward for me.
Okay, so today's guest, I'm actually a fan of his stuff, and I've seen him come up on my TikTok a good amount.
So his name is Jake Maddock.
He has 120 followers on Instagram, almost 400,000 followers on Facebook, and almost a million followers on TikTok, where he coaches people to get into 10 out of 10 relationships.
Let's bring him up and let's welcome Jake to the show.
Hey, Pearl, how are you, my friend?
I'm good.
How are you?
Fantastic.
Fantastic.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for coming.
What time is it over there?
About 10 a.m.
Okay, so it's early.
So welcome to the show.
How so?
I was kind of curious: how does one become a relationship and like dating coach?
How did that start for you?
Mostly passion, basically.
So I want to help as many people as I can.
The long story is, I was pretty bad at relationships.
No idea what I was doing.
My parents' relationship isn't very good, never has been.
It's okay, but didn't really know what I was doing.
And then I started learning and studying for other people and learning everything there was to learn.
And then once I achieved it, I thought, well, I got to teach other people this too.
And now here we are, seven, eight years later, and I've coached thousands of people and I love it.
Okay.
Because that was kind of my first question: how long have you been doing it?
And what's like your best success story?
Oh, I've got lots of great success stories.
My favorite success stories are people who are women who either came to me as widows or ones who have come to me and they have some, there's usually something holding them back.
Like I've helped a lot of people achieve a 10 out of 10 who are deaf, who have hearing aids, stuff like that.
Nothing major holding them back, just something small like that.
But watching them achieve a 10 out of 10 when I didn't think they could achieve it, amazing.
And what would you say are the main things that are holding people back from getting into the relationships that they want?
Because, you know, I come from like more of like a reporting, I guess, angle.
And the stats are pretty grim when it comes to dating and relationships.
So how do you help people find that like despite the odds nowadays?
Yeah, it's a good question.
What's interesting about what I do, Pearl, it's 100% success rate.
So every single person I coach achieves a 10 out of 10.
Most people achieve it within six months.
Some people take longer, but everyone achieves it.
I'm a strong believer that everyone can achieve it 100%.
I think every single person can achieve it.
As long as you have the ability to go on a date, you can achieve a 10 out of 10.
Now, it always starts with mindset.
A lot of people have such a negative mindset.
They go, well, every guy I meet is going to be terrible.
You know, this isn't going to work.
I'm going to try, but I'm not going to succeed.
This is a waste of time.
They've already failed before they've even started, right?
So it works on that mindset, get that confidence going so then they can really start to get some progress happening.
And then from there, I show them how to get dates, proper, high-value, proper dating, right?
So they're doing proper dates.
And then I teach them all the fundamentals that I teach, the masculine, feminine energy, how to communicate effectively, how to set boundaries, how to do all that stuff the right way.
And then that's it.
Then they've achieved a 10 out of 10.
Okay.
And is it mostly women that you coach or do you coach men too?
It's probably an 80-20 split.
Okay.
And what are the differences and the challenges you get from men versus women?
So when I'm coaching a man, I'm going to teach him lots of, you know, masculine energy sort of stuff, the leadership, ambition, all that sort of jazz.
With the women that I coach, it's a lot of the feminine stuff and the feminine communication.
So the nurturing, the caring, the support and the joy is how to push a man into his masculine energy, how to get him to lead, how to do all that sort of stuff.
That's the main differences.
But that's about it.
You know, when you find your ideal partner, it's a beautiful mix of chemistry, compatibility, X factor.
They can do the job, which is the same either way, regardless of your gender.
And you've really never had one person that was just like, you've never had anyone weird or like just really unlikable that just could not be helped in this industry?
It's a good question.
You know what I mean?
It sounds unbelievable to me.
I don't really like your stuff, but I'm like, nobody that you just couldn't help.
Go ahead.
So here's the thing to think about.
Yeah.
So I've coached a lot of people.
And yes, some of them I don't particularly like as people.
Like they're not evil or anything, but just like a bit of a widow, right?
Yeah.
But the thing is, I'm going to help them find their widow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So then they can be together.
I'm not going to have a relationship with them, but I'm going to help them achieve it.
Yeah.
So yeah, no, they've all, they've all achieved the 10 out of 10.
Some of them look terrible as well.
You know, people who are really tall, really short, ones who have great bodies, ones who are really big and fat.
They all achieve a 10 out of 10.
They're not the most beautiful couple, but they're in a 10 out of 10 and they're really happy.
Yeah.
Which is, it's not a beauty contest.
But yeah, yeah, they're not everyone's cup of tea, but you only need one person, just one person to have a great relationship with.
And so do you tell people to meet their people on the dating apps?
Do you in person?
Like, what's your strategy for sourcing dates?
So my philosophy with this is you want to maximize the chance of success.
So if you really, say, say if you were single right now and you go, okay, I want to achieve a 10 out of 10 this year.
I'm going to maximize the chance of success.
Can use online dating, going to try to meet people in public, going to, you know, might go to speed dating, might talk to friends, see if they have anyone single.
I'm just going to maximize the chance of success and talk to as many people as I can.
So online dating.
So, out of the thousands of people I coached, there's been about a handful who have achieved it organically, but 99.9% online dating.
Yeah, that's what I've seen too.
I don't really see people that go the in-person route have a ton of success.
That's just what I've seen.
It seems like most people, it's either Instagram or dating apps nowadays.
Statistically, it's just too slow to meet in person because you can meet, you might, if you try really hard, you might meet one attractive person a day, but online dating, you can talk to a hundred.
It's just statistically a lot faster.
Yeah.
And so, what do you suggest for first dates?
What do you typically is it dinner, drinks, a movie?
So, always a high-value date.
So, a movie is not a date.
I love movies, a huge movie buff, but a good date has very high communication.
If you're watching a movie, there's very low communication.
So, that's no good.
So, no movies, no drinks, no coffee, no going for a walk.
That's all it's not enough effort on the guy's part.
So, this is our high, this is how a high-value date works.
A guy asks a girl on a date, hey, can I take you on a date this Friday?
She says, Sure.
And he goes, Great, I'll pick you up at seven.
He goes, He picks her up, opens the car door for her, full gentleman stuff.
Then, ideally, he takes her out to some sort of activity, any sort of activity, something usually to break the ice, mini part part, whatever, some sort of menial sort of activity just to get comfortable, basically.
And then from there, he takes her out to dinner.
Okay, he pays for everything, he's organized everything, he does it all.
And then, after that, he takes her home, and hopefully, he did a good enough job that she wants to kiss him.
Do you think that's too high investment for a first date?
I think if people dated like that, they would have more success.
So, one of the rules which I have when I'm coaching someone is if a guy wants to see you, it must be a high-value date.
Okay, that is the benefit.
Yep, okay, because I think from my point of view, I would think that if it's awkward or we don't get along, then I'm like stuck the whole night.
So, yep, I'll say that.
Yeah, yeah, you have to be a good judge of character.
Yeah, so like probably talk to the guy for a week first before going on the date, do a do a video call, do a phone call, like have a good so you go, okay, this guy's we get along pretty good.
It seems like we have decent chemistry.
So, then if you go on the date, you're like, okay, I know it's going to be at least pretty good.
Okay, so you kind of you vet the guys more before you actually get on the actual dates a hundred percent yeah, because a good a good high value date goes for about four hours, okay?
And it's we don't do short dates, we want to do a long, decent date so you have enough time to build the attraction up, create chemistry and create a spark some compatibility.
If it's too short, there's not enough time to build attraction, right?
So, get to know them a little bit before the date, and then by the time the date happens, you've got a real chance that it's something awesome being built.
Um, and how many dates on average do your clients have to go on before they find someone they really like?
And do you tell the women that if they don't like the guy like first date to still see him again or just to cut it?
So, the amount of dates it takes when I'm coaching someone to achieve a 10 out of 10 on average is about 15 high-value dates.
So, if you do 15 first dates, you should have met your ideal partner approximately.
Some faster, some small, but average 15.
Um, now, if you go on a first date with somebody, sometimes they can be a little bit nervous, right?
So, it's kind of hard to tell if there's much attraction there.
So, I say, well, look, if it's, you know, it's a six out of 10 sort of attraction, like they're okay, give them give them one more date, okay?
By the end of the second date, you should be able to feel something special there.
And do you coach women to hold off on sleeping with the guy?
Do you tell them at all when they should, when they shouldn't?
I know the guys watching this are going to be like, when am I getting laid?
And this whole thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
100%.
Sex is a very interesting topic.
Yeah.
It's a very, it's almost like an emotional thing.
It's a very feeling-based thing, sex, right?
So my rule is I want you to do it when it feels right.
That's my rule.
So that's very open to interpretation.
Okay.
I'm going to tell you a fun statistic though.
Out of the thousands of people I've coached, about 75% of the people slept with their ideal partner on the very first date.
Yeah, that's yeah, because I feel like it's like if you don't want to pretty quick, then you just never will.
Would you agree with me?
Most of the time.
Yeah, go ahead.
Yeah.
When you meet your ideal partner, the compatibility is amazing.
So you want to talk to them all the time.
The chemistry is so amazing that even on the first date, you want to rip their clothes off, right?
Yeah.
If that stuff's not there, it's not usually a great sign.
Like we want our chemistry really high.
Yeah.
So what do you tell women that are afraid that like they're not going to get called back if they sleep with the guy too soon?
I tell them to change their expectation on it.
So I go, okay, if you want to sleep with the guy, you do it.
Okay.
Yes, there is a chance he may not want to talk to you again.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Or he might want to be with you forever.
You don't know.
When you sleep with someone doesn't determine that.
So you might wait three months and then sleep with him and then he doesn't talk to you again.
Or you could do it on the first date and I'll talk to you again.
It's you don't know.
Right.
But that's why I go, okay, if you want to do it, you do it with, and there's no expectation afterwards.
You go, okay, well, if he wants to see me again, great.
If he doesn't want to, that's okay.
I did it because I wanted to do it.
Yeah.
No, that's a better mentality to have.
If you take the L, it's going to happen sooner or later.
100%.
Yeah.
100%.
You don't.
You can't get anything more than that.
Go ahead.
Sorry.
I think there's a delay.
No, it's okay.
If you sort of go, well, I don't want that to happen.
It's sort of making it transactional, which love's not really supposed to be like that.
So you want to take that out of it.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you tell them basically your system is within 15 dates.
Generally, they find their ideal partner.
Yeah.
And then that's the person they're going to be with for the rest of their life.
Cool.
And so what happens after that?
Like, what's the timeline that you generally suggest from dating to marriage to kids, assuming someone wants that?
Yeah.
So you meet someone online dating.
About a week later, you go on the first date after talking to them for a week.
And then about a week later, you're on a second date.
And you go on a date with that person about once a week for the first month.
Okay.
By the end of the first month, you're going to go exclusive with each other.
So you're not seeing anybody else.
You're the leader of the dating apps.
You're just talking to each other.
And then about another month goes by where you're still going on regular dates, talking every day.
Then you go official.
So you say, I love you to each other, become Facebook official, advertise the fact that you're a couple, right?
Then you keep seeing each other, keep dating, having a great time, getting to know each other.
Then around the six-month mark, you're going to move in together.
Now, one thing I teach is that a woman moves into the man's house, a man doesn't move into the woman's house, or you get a whole new house together.
Okay.
Okay.
And then from there, you enjoy living together, have a great time.
And then around the one-year mark, 18-month mark, you get engaged.
Okay.
And then from there, about six to nine months later, you get married.
And then as soon as you're married, have kids immediately.
Do you think that's fast?
Because that's like the, I think the average now is like three years of dating before you even get married.
Yeah, it's a little bit too slow.
It's a little bit too slow.
That three years of dating is okay if you're 18, for example.
But other than that, why so slow?
Like don't you don't want to go too fast, but also some people go too slow.
Some people wait nine months before saying, I love you.
It's just way too slow.
There's no, it's a sign of how much you like the person as the speed.
If you have really, really high attraction with someone, you're going to see quite consistent, pretty fast progression.
If the progression's really slow, it's five years till engagement and all this sort of stuff.
It's just too slow.
Do you think sometimes, though, that's guys trying to like mitigate risk?
Like they don't want to take the risk of getting married.
Possibly.
I suppose then you have to ask yourself the question, do I want to be in a relationship with a guy who really lets fear run his decisions?
I have a little different of an opinion on that, but I don't, you know, I'm not trying to like debate that topic, but okay.
Okay.
Yeah, because it's yeah, go ahead.
A lot of men do marry the wrong person.
Yeah.
They do.
But they're stupid.
So I don't know, Jake.
I've seen some guys marry women that were like good on paper and then like they just go crazy after they have the kids.
They do.
So that's why as a man, you have to be a good judge of character.
Men and women, you got to be a great judge of character.
You got to know exactly what you're looking for, exactly what you're not looking for.
And then you have to know how to have the ability to have a good relationship.
A lot of people can achieve a 10 out of 10, but then they have no idea how to maintain it and it falls apart really fast.
You have to know how to maintain a 10 out of 10 as well.
So what do you think that people generally get wrong?
Like when it comes to maintaining a relationship?
They don't do the fundamentals and they just, instead of maintaining fundamentals and having a sense of, I guess you'd call it discipline or doing the right things consistently, they just go, I don't feel like it this week.
Maybe later.
Like they don't, they have no discipline on maintaining the fundamentals that I talk about.
Okay.
And then just falls apart.
Could you give me like specific examples of things that women do and men do?
Like both that causes relationships to fall apart?
Yeah, for sure.
So both parties often slip out of their masculine or feminine energy and their partner doesn't help them get back into it.
So if you're in a relationship, try to help your partner with the masculine or feminine energy both ways, okay?
To help them.
Okay.
You're a team.
Work together with it.
And then the fundamentals that I'm talking about, Pearl, are things like, I want you to go on a date once a week.
I want the husband to take the wife on a date once a week or once every second week, but fairly regularly.
Okay.
A proper day, a high value day, like I talk about.
Be intimate three times a week on average.
Okay.
Two 20 second hugs every day.
All right.
Do a dual hobby and a dual goal together and no arguing at all ever.
All right.
Now, if you do those fundamentals, it's going to be really good.
A lot of people get, they get quite lazy and complacent and go, oh, I don't feel like going on a date this week or I don't really feel like being intimate today.
And they just keep on, they get kind of lazy and it's just shit.
Yeah, the amount of sexless marriages is actually crazy.
I'm sure you've seen that doing what you do.
Like a lot.
It's a big part of masculine and feminine energy as well.
Okay.
The man slips out of his masculine energy.
The woman goes more into a masculine energy.
So she's leading everything.
She doesn't feel like sleeping with him.
They argue a lot.
Masculine feminine energy plays a big role in it.
So how can a couple get to arguing never?
I'm sure the guys are like, I want that.
Never, never arguing.
God.
It's a discipline thing mostly.
So if you want to have an argument again, just take a second and say to yourself, that's it.
I'm never going to argue with another person ever again, ever.
Set a boundary with yourself.
Set your own personal boundary.
I did that years and years ago, even before meeting my wife.
And you just, you don't need to argue with anybody.
If someone disagrees with you, you go, that's okay.
It's okay.
You don't need to make them, you don't need to change their mind on something.
Just don't argue.
You don't need to argue.
If you have two people in a relationship and you both agree to that, it's fantastic.
You're both on the same page.
There's no need to argue.
Now, there is a difference between a disagreement and an argument.
A disagreement is you just don't agree on one thing.
It's not a big deal.
An argument is a disagreement that's full of disrespect and aggression.
It has no place in life as an adult.
Okay.
Could I get two specific examples of like what would be a way that someone is disagreeing versus arguing, maybe on the same topic?
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
So you might disagree on what to eat for dinner.
One person wants steak, one person wants chicken, right?
And some people may let that escalate, that small disagreement, it may escalate into an argument by, you know, one partner might say, well, you never listen to what I want to do.
You always do what you want to do.
You never compromise on anything.
We never get to eat what I want to eat.
And it creates an argument.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just, it's usually over something simple and small.
Okay.
Okay.
So date.
They never.
So what's the longest like marriage you've had now?
Like from the people you've coached?
I think from people who came to me single, the people have the longest marriage so far is maybe three years.
Okay.
Yeah.
So that was one of the first people I started coaching.
Okay.
And I helped her find a 10 out of 10.
And then they do the timeline properly.
And then we've married about three years now.
They have a baby.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's pretty cool.
yeah so i get invited to a lot so how many you said you've coached thousands of people at this point Yep.
And what would you say the biggest mistakes that women are making when it comes to dating?
Like, why do you think more women are single than ever?
They, it sounds bad, but they don't have the right mindset for modern dating.
Okay.
Okay.
So they, they're quite fast to give up.
I see that a lot.
So I'll go, okay, I really want to achieve a 10 out of 10.
I'm going to jump on online dating.
They meet two or three weirdos and they go, no, deleting it.
They give up really, really fast.
Okay.
Yeah, that's true.
It's quite a battlefield online dating.
You have to be extremely, you got to have a really good sense of perseverance and really go, if I meet 100 weirdos, it's fine.
It's not a big deal.
You've got to really get good at blocking, deleting, blocking, deleting, like really hard at it.
It's monotonous, but try to sometimes can be fun to think of it as a game.
And then also just simple feminine communication stuff, which basically in a nutshell is just being nice and flirty and bubbly and enjoyable to talk to.
Okay.
Could I have an example of maybe something that women do wrong versus what they should do?
Yeah, for sure.
So they might be.
Well, one thing actually, I was coaching a woman this morning.
She's given the wrong guys the right chances.
So a guy's being really weak and flaky and really non-committal, right?
Yeah.
Oh, but I really like him.
So I'm going to give him a chance and keep.
And she's just really trying hard.
It's like, no, if he's doing all the wrong things and he's being just really basically, he's a real feminine guy.
Just go, no, don't, don't beg a guy to be with you.
So one thing I teach, sunflower and the bee, the woman's the sunflower, the man's the bee.
Some women act like they're the bee.
So they're really aggressively chasing these guys.
It's supposed to be the other way around.
You got to attract them in, not chase them out.
Yeah.
And if you, I don't know if you've inter or like spoken to some of the guys.
I've interviewed guys that have like they run through these dating apps.
And if you saw their phones, it's like there is nothing you could do.
Like if you got on a date with one of those guys and he's not calling you back, just take the owl, I'm telling you.
Because like a lot of, a lot of those guys have like 20 women.
I mean, you've seen the numbers with dating apps where it's like a small percentage of men basically running through them.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
100%.
You have to be a good judge of character.
So my advice to people, don't stress too much about what the statistics say.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a lot of statistics out there which say basically you just, you're not, you're not going to achieve a 10 out of 10.
And only the top 1% gets what they want.
I've helped lots of people who are definitely not very good looking or have good bodies at all achieve a 10 out of 10.
So there's people who want love on all levels, right?
Just you got to be sort of realistic a little bit as well.
So if you're, you know, if you're a 55-year-old woman, you're overweight and you're just average looking, don't go for a guy who's 32 and got a six pack and all this sort of stuff.
It's just not going to work.
Yeah.
Do you see that happening?
Like 55 year old women going for 32 year olds?
Yeah, it does happen.
And I basically say, look, yes, you do look good for your age, but it's not going to work.
Yeah, he might take you on a date.
He might want to sleep with you, sure, but it's never going to become a relationship.
Don't waste your time.
It's got to be age appropriate with a guy who's pretty similar to you.
Okay.
You got to be realistic.
Yeah.
That's actually why I liked your stuff.
A lot of female dating coaches, I find they pander, but you're actually pretty honest with women.
And I really like that about your stuff.
I appreciate that.
You got to be honest.
They're going to find out eventually how tough it is.
So you got to prepare them a little bit.
Yeah.
And I've seen, I just, sometimes like you, you hear the super high standards.
But the one thing I will say is a lot of women say like they have these crazy high standards.
But if you look at who they sleep with or have dated in the past, it's not actually what they say.
Um, because when I first started doing the content, I just thought the standards were like insane.
And at first, I thought it was just an internet thing, but I would like meet women that had these, like that they would tell me these crazy high standards.
But then I realized, I'm like, oh my gosh, they don't mean it.
They just are saying that.
I would see like it was kind of an evolution where I would see who they'd actually date and it would not be near what they told me they would wanted, right?
Yeah, it's almost a bit delusional, really.
Yeah.
So I guess when you are coaching women, are there like archetypes of women that you see?
Like the like typical clients that you have?
Like the divorce.
Yeah, go ahead.
Go ahead.
Yeah, most of the people, most of the women I coach are divorced.
I coach a lot of widows, coach women who are divorced.
I coach a lot of women who do real estate.
They have a lot of trouble.
Yeah, aren't they like the former bottle girls?
I've seen like the bottle girl to real estate pipeline.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're usually really pretty though, right?
Yeah.
They look great.
Yeah.
Struggle with their feminine energy.
They're a bit bossy.
So I help them with that.
They sometimes can be a little bit delusional on what they think they can get in the dating scene.
But then I slowly change that mindset and go, hey, everyone's looks going to fade anyway.
We're all going to get more gray hairs as years go by.
We got more wrinkles.
We're going to be less attractive as time goes by as well.
So you've got to go for something deeper, the personality and all that sort of stuff.
A guy who's nice, a guy who's masculine.
That's what really we're looking for.
So we change that mindset a little bit.
Yeah, the bottle.
Do you think it's because they're around a lot of really wealthy, successful guys all day?
The real estate girl?
Because it's like, obviously, if they're selling, their clients have to usually be pretty high net worth.
They're around sales guys who are kind of notorious players.
Yeah, sometimes.
It's interesting.
So I do meet a lot of arrogant people, but then I've seen that arrogance doesn't really, arrogance is totally different than confidence, isn't it?
So people who are arrogant, it usually stems from insecurity.
So really deep down, they're quite insecure about themselves and feel pretty bad.
So they try to validate and try to build up this identity through arrogance.
We flip all that around to come from a more angle of humility and real confidence.
Yeah.
Not from just vanity and insecurity.
It's not really real.
And it's, it doesn't matter how much Botox you take, ladies, eventually you're going to look older.
Yeah.
Take Botox.
Botox is fine.
You can do it if you want to, but eventually, you know, we all age.
It's okay.
It's not a big deal.
Yeah.
How do you think women's options change as they age?
It's a good question.
Short answer, I don't really care what someone's age is.
You can achieve a 10 out of 10.
I coach a lot of women in their 60s achieve a 10 out of 10.
They look like they're in their 60s.
The guys they achieve a 10 out of 10 with look like they're in their 60s and they are in their 60s.
That's okay.
Yeah.
So there's not, it doesn't really change.
As long as you date age appropriate, it's totally fine.
And they just do the fundamentals and they can fall in love with that person and achieve a 10 out of 10.
They all still achieve a 10 out of 10.
So yeah, if you're listening to this, guys, I don't really care what your age is.
You can definitely achieve a 10 out of 10.
What do you think about age gaps?
My rule is keep it within 15 years.
Okay.
So, statistically speaking, relationships usually go better if the man's about five years older.
Okay.
But if you're a woman over 50, that changes a little bit.
Okay.
So, and it changes as time goes on.
So, if you're, if you're, if you're a girl in her 20s, obviously date a guy five years older at least, at least, right?
Because of maturity levels, women mature faster emotionally.
Um, I have helped a lot of women who are in their very late 30s find a husband who's in his early 30s and they have babies together, and it's fantastic.
It's fine, that's good, okay.
Um, if you're over 50, then you can date older or younger, it doesn't really matter as much, okay?
But again, you still want a kid within 15 years, and but it's also age-appropriate, so there's a big difference between a woman who's 30 dating a 45-year-old than a 45-year-old woman dating a 30-year-old man.
Yeah, you think it's worse when the woman's older, or it doesn't, it just doesn't work.
So, if you're a 45-year-old woman and you want to date a 30-year-old man, there is zero chance it's going to become a 10 out of 10.
You're dreaming, yeah, because he's going to want kids, and you can't really.
I know some women do, but it's a 45, maybe you could pop out one 30-year-old guy, he's going to want kids, I think.
Or do you not think you agree, disagree?
Well, yeah, usually, usually, men of that age group do want kids, but also not only that, that's probably not the main reason it wouldn't work.
I teach the woman should be the prettier one in the relationship, okay?
Okay, yeah, go ahead.
So, not by heaps, but I want the girl to be a little bit prettier than the boy is.
Okay, some relationships, the girl wants the guy to be a real pretty boy.
It doesn't really work that well.
I want him to look at you and go, she is so gorgeous, right?
If you're 20 years older, you got a lot of competition with girls 20 years younger than you.
It's just it doesn't really work like that.
Human beings aren't wired like that very well.
Yeah, I mean, you can date the pretty boy, but then you're gonna have pretty boy problems, you know.
You can, just don't come crying to me when you get what comes with that.
That's right.
It's much easier if you date a guy who's, I don't know, a seven out of 10, but he's a 10 out of 10 personality.
It's way better than dating a 10 out of 10 looks and a 7 out of 10 personality.
Yeah, no, way better.
Because I've interviewed, I've had a lot of P WAs and stuff on the show, and some I would say like objectively could be male models.
Those guys are getting approached in public.
I'm like, women, you don't want you do not want to date a guy that is getting approached in public.
You don't want those kind of problems, I'm telling you.
No, no, not really.
The masculine energy, the real substance of a man comes from that deep masculine energy, the leadership, the ambition, the decisiveness, the protection.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, those traits are extremely important.
Yeah.
Um, I saw a I was a little confused on your stance on something because I saw two TikToks and I thought they kind of contradicted each other.
Um, there was one TikTok you had that was like you were saying that body count doesn't matter, and then you had another TikTok where a guy found out his girl's body count and then you said to break up with her.
Um, and I thought it was kind of funny.
I don't know why.
Okay, it was, it was, it was a funny video.
So, I was telling him to break up with her because his retroactive jealousy was too strong.
Yeah.
And there's no way he's going to get over that.
Okay.
Created like a mental tattoo in his mind, right?
Now, what I teach is keep your body count to yourself.
Don't talk about it.
No one wants to know about it.
It's gross.
Keep it to yourself.
It's like what you do in the bathroom.
Keep it to yourself.
Honesty is not always the best policy.
It is 99% of the time, but in this case, what are you doing in the bathroom or who you've slept with over the last 20 years?
I don't want to know about it.
Nobody wants to know about it.
If you start dating a guy and he says, how many guys you've been with, just say, I'm actually a virgin.
Okay.
And it's funnier if you have kids too, because it's obviously not true, but it makes it funnier.
So say something like that.
Don't say a number.
No one wants to know about it.
It doesn't matter if it's five or 500.
It doesn't matter.
Don't tell anybody.
It's just unattractive.
Do you think it affects women's ability to bond at all, though?
Or your experience is that.
Yeah, a lot of people say that.
So short answer, no, not really.
If they have a great mindset.
The problem is I see a lot of women who have bad mindsets and then they've created this statistic which says, oh, well, if they've been with a lot of people and they can't have a 10 out of 10, it's not how many people they've been with.
It's they have this terrible mindset which goes along with this whole narrative.
So then they can't have a 10 out of 10 because their mindset's really bad, but it's not related to the sex.
Yeah.
I would just think like the habit though, like if you're in a habit of sleeping with like five different people a month or three different people a month, you don't think over time they might miss that life.
You know, it might be more difficult for them to stay with one person.
Not from not from what I've seen.
Okay.
Because usually that has usually that habit's built on loneliness.
They want some sort of human connection, usually.
So they might be looking for love and they're seeking validation through intimacy and they're quite lonely people, right?
But as soon as they achieve a 10 out of 10, they're not lonely anymore.
So it sort of cures that.
Yeah.
The one issue you do have with those studies is they're self-reported.
And like, when are women ever on?
I thought, I actually thought about it because I used to quote that study a lot.
And what I realized is that the one thing the study probably actually showed is that the women that lied about their body count are in happier relationships because who's going to answer honestly on a survey that question?
One of my favorite things from the sentence was, I think it was four out of five statistics are made up anyway.
So that was true.
Okay.
The other clip I saw of yours that I really liked was you told a woman that she shouldn't be at the club.
It was like you and your wife, and you were like, you can go to the club if you want to when you're in a relationship, but that doesn't mean he has to accept it.
I just thought it was funny.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah.
Yeah.
A lot of people think some of my rules are quite controlling.
Like one of my rules, don't go out at night without your partner.
People are like, that's crazy.
It's so controlling.
Blah, Go out with them.
Go out as a couple.
Like, why do you want to go out by yourself anyway?
I don't get that.
And people, another thing people do is they go on these separate holidays, go on holidays without one another.
What?
No, that's not what people with 10 out of 10s do.
Go together.
You're a couple.
You should want to spend as much time as you can with that person you love, right?
So, no, don't go out at night without your partner.
You can, but there's going to be consequences, obviously.
And a high-value person is going to put up with that sort of shit for a long period of time.
Yeah.
You know what's funny?
I had a friend who worked in like a visa and like women with like husbands would go there all the time and cheat on their husbands.
It's not, yeah, I don't know why they're, it's like really obvious sometimes like what the girl's doing when she's like going to some of these like party cities without the guy.
And I'm sure guys do it too.
But yeah, I don't know what they're doing.
What do you think about like business trips?
Do you think that's different?
Or do you have rules around that?
Yeah.
So if your boss says, oh, you got to go to this place and do this sort of business meeting or whatever, it's kind of out of your control.
But at the same time, there are a lot of jobs which make achieving a 10 out of 10 really difficult.
Police officer, military, prison officer, those sort of jobs make achieving a 10 out of 10 really, really, really challenging.
And then just other jobs where you're just not home that much.
You're away 50% of the time.
It's going to make achieving a 10 out of 10 a lot harder as well.
I recommend if you really care about having a 10 out of 10, don't do a job which makes it harder.
Do a job which makes it easier.
Okay.
Military, police.
You said corrections officer?
Yep.
What else?
And any job which you work away.
Like some people work on mining jobs or oil rigs and stuff like this where they, you know, they're away for a couple of weeks and they're back for a couple of weeks and they do that all the time.
Have you heard of like the trend with nurses?
All the guys tell me nurses are the worst to date.
Have you seen that?
I coach them.
Oh, really?
Okay, so that hasn't been what you've seen going.
So a lot of nurses who come to me who are pretty hopeless at dating and they're in their masculine energy.
They're full of a lot of fear.
They pick the wrong guys.
They pick guys they want to help.
You know, it's interesting, actually, one group of people who I've coached who are really bad at relationships, psyches.
Psyches.
Sorry, that's so true.
They're really, they really suck.
They're the hardest to get into a 10 out of 10.
The ones I've coached do achieve a 10 out of 10, but they take double the amount of time as anyone else.
And I have to lecture them constantly how to do it properly and repetitively all the time.
They are painful.
Yeah, because you don't like the attachment styles, right?
That's what they're always.
It's because 90% of people use it as an excuse.
Oh, I'm an avoidant.
I know I'm going to have a hard conversation.
You're like, hey, shut up and be an adult and have a conversation.
What are you talking about?
A lot of people have all these excuses these days for their poor behavior.
I can't stand it.
It's so funny you said the psychology thing because every girl I knew that was a psych major, I can think of one who is not batshit crazy, but like nine out of ten were nuts.
They are, they relationships.
I can't believe that those people help other people in relationships.
I can't believe it.
They are the worst.
So what is your opinion on breaks and relationships?
No way.
Breaks are only for Kit Kats.
Okay.
I got a lot of these funny sayings, Pearl.
So breaks only for Kit Kats.
Space is only for astronauts.
My God, some others, I can't remember.
But all that is just all bullshit.
Yeah, it's just an excuse to cheat.
That's what I think.
You agree.
It's an excuse to cheat or it's like a trial separation or there's all this bullshit.
People say, oh, it's not you, it's me.
I want to find myself.
And it's all garbage stuff.
Don't put up with any of that.
Yeah.
Have you seen the phenomenon of women not being able to get over a particular ex?
Oh, yeah, for sure.
All the time.
Yep.
And how do you help women get over that?
Like, do you find that they eventually do let it go?
They do with my help, 100%.
So it becomes a bit of an addiction in their mind.
So they'll be looking at his photos every day and all this sort of stuff.
It's like if you're trying to quit smoking, you walk around with a packet of smokes in your pocket.
It's going to be pretty hard, right?
So what we do is we do a full clean out, delete every photo, block and delete every account, delete every number.
So it's like he never existed, right?
And then what we do is I make their life a lot busier.
Okay.
Social hobbies, exercise, two ice baths a week, going on new dates with new people.
Just really busy.
Lots and lots of stuff, right?
And then usually after about a month or two of doing that, they've totally forgotten about the ex.
And are you seeing the because what I found is a lot of women keep going back to the same ex like in between relationships?
Is that something you've seen?
Yeah, it's like their plan B.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So one of the things I teach is no plan B's, you got to delete every plan B, okay, and completely delete and block.
Got to burn the bridge.
Okay.
No plan B's.
Yeah.
I liked another TikTok of yours.
You said that you said women don't like getting ghosted because they say, why, why don't men just tell me they don't like me?
And then you said, but he is telling you he doesn't like you.
That's right.
That's right.
Go ahead.
Give me your thoughts on ghost dates.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's one problem actually.
A lot of women have in dating.
They hate being rejected.
They hate it.
It's like they've never been rejected once and they get rejected one time.
They're like, that's it.
I'm done.
I quit.
It's like if you were going on a dating, you're going to get rejected heaps, but that's okay.
It's not about you.
Don't worry about it too much.
It's just not everyone's going to like you.
And you're looking for one very particular person.
So, of course, you're going to get rejected.
You're going to reject heaps of people too.
And that's okay.
It's totally fine.
So if a woman's starting dating again, what's like the ghost rate you would tell her to expect?
Like if you go, if you like five guys, if you go on a date with five or ten guys, how many are going to call you back?
So if you're really good at dating and you show up on a date with lots of feminine energy, do lots of feminine communication, you're really light and bubbly and have really heaps of fun, and you go on five dates, you might get ghosted by one out of the five.
It's not that high.
It's only high if you're if you suck, okay?
You're not doing any of the feminine energy stuff properly, you're being bossy and you're just bitchy, you're not very fun to be around.
Then you ghost some heaps, 100%.
If you're really fun and feminine, you know, you don't, it's pretty rare to get ghosted, to be honest.
Do you have any funny stories about like things that a client of yours has done on a date that were just like you couldn't believe they did them or maybe happened to them?
Oh, that's a good question.
Funny stories of dates.
You have to have so many because you've been doing this so long.
Yeah.
There is some funny ones actually.
One girl went on a date with a guy.
He took her to a restaurant and then he said, oh, what do you want to order?
She told the waiter.
And then the waiter looked at the guy and he says, oh, I just ate.
I'm not going to eat anything.
And the guy just sat there watching her eat the whole time on the date.
Ridiculous.
So he went on a date already having eat.
Why would you just do drinks then?
He's just a wanker guy.
There's a lot of guys who don't know how to date properly and they're just hopeless.
Makes for a pretty bad date, 100%.
Okay.
That's not too bad, though.
I was expecting worse.
No, yeah.
No, I don't really have any super crazy stories.
Or maybe I'm just, I've heard so many that I'm sort of numbed to the craziness of it.
Yeah.
Yeah, nothing really, normal dates really aren't that.
early aren't that crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's usually just like the people don't have chemistry.
Yeah.
Yeah, pretty, pretty normal sort of stuff.
A lot of guys, a lot of guys lack a lot of confidence, so they won't make a move.
Girls complain to me every day that the guys don't make a move.
He didn't try to kiss me.
He's not making a move, trying to sleep with me.
He's really reserved.
So many guys are very shy.
They're not willing to make a move.
If you're a man, listen to this, make a move.
Make a move.
If she says no, she says no, but at least make a move.
At least give it a shot.
Yeah, at least then you have your answer.
Oh, yeah.
Don't don't hold back.
On the first date, try to sleep with her 100%.
If she says no, go, okay.
That's cool.
Like at least try.
Yeah.
Every day girls complain to me.
He didn't make a move.
They want you to make moves.
They want you to make a move.
Just read her body language.
Yeah.
If she's smiling at you and, you know, flooding her eyelids, make a move.
She obviously likes you.
Yeah.
So what are the biggest complaints that women have after dates?
So that he doesn't make a move.
What else are they saying?
Yeah, he doesn't make a move or the conversation wasn't amazing.
So it was a little bit dry, not very charismatic.
What else?
That's usually it after the first date.
And then between the dates, a lot of guys are not very good communicators.
So going on dates is really important.
But what happens between the dates is really important too.
So between the dates, you want to have really good communication as well.
Do you ever tell your clients to slow down?
Like things are happening too fast?
Definitely.
So I have one technique that I call time over time, which means in the first month of dating, you only can see them once a week.
Okay.
And that's to not get like overwhelmed.
Correct.
Yeah.
So the affection, how you feel about a person and what you know about them, I want them to go up at the same rate.
If you see someone once a month, what you know about them and how you feel about them will be like this, right?
So you know a lot, but you won't feel a lot.
If you see them every day, you'll feel a lot, but you won't know a lot.
I want to go up at the same rate.
So time over time, once a week, just for the first month, and the second month, you can increase.
How do you feel about distance relationships?
That's something I've seen an increase in.
Yeah, I get that question every day.
Long distance.
The first thing to think about is what long distance is.
A lot of people get confused by that.
They go, oh, he lives an hour away.
It's long distance.
It's not long distance.
Long distance is when they live so far away that you can't see them once a week.
Okay.
So for example, you might date a guy who owns a plane, right?
He can travel quite a long distance every week to see you.
So you could live in a different country and it's not long distance.
Or you might date a guy who doesn't have a car and has to walk everywhere.
Long distance is a few blocks away.
Okay.
So it's based on how often the guy can see you.
If you can see you once a week, it's not long distance.
So when I met my wife, she lived about four hours away.
Not long distance.
Happy to drive it.
If it was six hours, it'd be probably too far for me.
So four, five hours is about my limit for driving on a Friday night.
So you got to think, okay, how far am I willing to go?
How'd you guys do your first date?
Did you drive all the way out?
Yeah, so actually on our first date, she drove from her town to my town.
And then when she got to my place, then I took her on a great date where I live.
Okay.
That was the first date and it went fantastic.
Yeah.
It's like that's pretty risky.
That's a long, it's a long ways to drive for a first date.
So it's good to work out.
Yeah.
But yeah.
So we knew it was special right from the start.
The conversation, the compatibility, everything in the conversation was so amazing.
So we talked for about two weeks before our first date, lots of conversations every day, FaceTimes, phone calls, like the chemistry, compatibility, everything incredible.
So by the time the date happened, perfect.
So what is your thoughts on distance relationships though?
Like people in a different where they can't see, they can see each other once a month or every other week.
So every other week, every second week is the minimum.
If it's less than that, you're not going to be able to see each other enough to build a foundation of a 10 out of 10.
And you're not going to see the progression enough to create the 10 out of 10 that I want to see.
So you must be able to see each other at least every second week, minimum.
Okay.
And have you seen that work?
Or the every second week?
Yeah.
Like, I'm just wondering the success rate.
Have you seen distance relationships work or do they generally just tank?
If it's less than once every second week, it doesn't work.
It's too, yeah.
It fades too fast.
Human beings need that face-to-face, the physical touch.
They need it.
I think there has to be an end date.
Like it has to be like one person's going to move.
Like there has to be.
Yeah.
Like we do this for this long.
There's an end date.
Yep.
Definitely, which is six months.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I would agree with that because past then it's you're kind of wasting your time.
100%.
Some people waste years and it's just wasting years achieving nothing.
Yeah.
You said you're a big believer that women can get whatever they want in relationships.
What did you mean by that?
I think you're referring to feminine energy.
So if a woman's really using feminine energy really well, she can basically get whatever she wants.
Those guys want to bend over backwards to make her happy because they like her so much because of the feminine energy.
That's obviously still in terms of reality.
Yeah.
So if a woman is in her masculine or is very masculinized, how what practical, like pragmatic day-to-day tips would you give her in order to fix that?
So usually what I see when a woman's really in a masculine energy, she's hyper independent.
She doesn't want help from anybody.
She thinks she can do everything herself.
And she has trouble trusting as well.
Okay.
So what I teach is: okay, start accepting help from people.
Start asking for help, even if it's something small, opening a jar or whatever, right?
Something small and then thanking them for it and allowing people to help you and start letting that happen.
Okay.
Mix that with some good self-care and feeling good about herself, maybe some affirmations and stuff like that.
That's it.
And then after a few months, really practice that feminine energy.
Affirmations, huh?
What kind of affirmations are you telling them to do?
So you've got to say the right words to yourself.
So most people say fairly negative affirmations subconsciously to themselves.
Wake up every day, I'm a loser.
I hate all men, whatever it is, right?
They're saying this negative sentence.
Obviously, it's going to have some negative consequence, right?
You have to change that identity, the way you think about the world, by you got to say the right words.
Yeah.
And some of those words are, I love how feminine I am, for example, right?
Or I believe human beings are good.
Human beings in general are very good, right?
So you've got to slowly change that sort of narrative you're telling to yourself.
Okay.
How long do you think is too long to wait for a ring?
So I teach 12 to 18 months.
If it's been, if you get to the three-year mark and there's no ring, you're in that place where it's probably not going to happen.
Yeah.
Do you think that depends on the age?
I do have two brothers that did wait a very long time, but it's because they started dating at like 21 and they didn't really want to have kids till their 30s.
No, not really.
If you're an adult, it shouldn't matter too much about age.
Now, there are a lot of cases where people get engaged 10 years later and it works out fine.
That is, that is, that's, that does happen.
But just on average, usually you've got to keep within those couple of years.
But it can still become a 10 out of 10 and you can still have a great marriage.
If you wait a long time, it's just less likely.
Yeah.
And I'd imagine with like your clients, it's not.
You can't really coach people to wait 10 years, right?
That's that's a long time.
It does work for some people, but you can't really.
That's a pretty big risk, right?
I'm very results focused too.
I want to see pretty decent results fairly quickly.
You don't want to wait too long for results.
Yeah. Sorry the chat.
I'm going to see if they have any questions for you.
So give me one second.
I'll pull up the super chats.
If there are any.
Let's see.
You have any questions for me?
I don't know how much you've seen in my stuff.
I know you're on TikTok.
I've seen heaps of your videos, Pearl.
You've done heaps of interviews.
Okay, I wasn't sure.
You've interviewed some huge people around the world.
Well, now I've interviewed you too.
So you're right on the list.
I love it.
But yeah.
I think I was watching one of your interviews today where you're interviewing Grant Cardone.
Ooh, sorry.
Sorry.
I was.
Sorry, go ahead.
I was watching one of the interviews where you were interviewing Grant Cardone this morning, actually.
Okay.
And heaps of other people.
Yeah, some of the interviews are absolutely fantastic.
Yeah, Grant's really nice.
He's a really nice guy.
Yeah.
Why is this not going?
Did you want to talk about your relationship life, Pearl?
I don't really know anything about your personal life.
Yeah, I have a boyfriend.
I don't really talk too much about it publicly because you know kind of how it is.
Yeah, it's personal, yeah.
Yeah, but he's good.
I really, I really, when I switched from dating, dating guys that were a little bit older than me, I just preferred that personally.
Like from like, like within, like before, I dated guys like within five years.
And then when I switched to like 10 years older, it was just a lot better.
I think I'm eight years older than my wife.
Yeah, I think personally, 10 years is the best like gap when you're in your 20s as a woman.
That's what I tell my wife.
Yeah, go ahead.
In your 20s, definitely.
If you're in your 40s, maybe not, but 20s, yeah.
Really?
What do you think as a woman, women in their 40s, you would recommend they date?
So men age faster than women.
Okay.
Right.
So if you're a 40-year-old woman dating a 50-year-old man, he might look 60, right?
For example, because men don't often look after themselves as much, right?
So as you get older, try to get a guy close to your age.
So as you go older, his age will come down, if that makes sense.
Really?
That's interesting.
Because I would say the opposite.
Like, I think men's skin elasticity is a lot better.
Like, I think women get wrinkles fast.
I mean, I know we get Botox now, but you can't switch the hands, you know?
That's true.
That is true.
Yeah.
My wife is divorcing me because I want to buy a new oven for my ex who has two oldest kids.
She can't stand it and is solidly against it.
I keep telling her my kids are my priority.
Okay.
I'm going to read this again, but slower.
So this guy's asking, My wife is divorcing me because I want to buy a new oven for my ex, who has my two oldest kids.
So his ex-wife that has two kids.
She can't stand it and is solidly against it.
The new wife, but I keep telling her my kids are my priority.
What's your advice?
Is this from Doug, Pearl?
No, it's Runic Crusader.
Okay, so yeah.
So this is probably the straw that broke the camel's back.
Okay.
So if the relationship was a 10 out of 10 and then you did something stupid like this, it wouldn't really cause a divorce.
But if a divorce is happening because that's probably a whole long line of stupid things.
So human beings are very territorial, basically.
All right.
You can't really do anything nice to your ex unless your current girl's going to get angry about it.
It's just how human beings work.
Okay.
And secondly, don't say your kids are priority.
That's stupid.
Okay.
I have kids.
I'm a great dad.
Don't say I put my kids first.
It's an ugly, ugly, ugly sentence.
Okay.
When you're in a relationship, the person you're in a relationship with wants to know that you put them first.
Okay.
Doesn't mean to neglect your children, but don't say, oh, yeah, my kids are priority.
That's a very ugly, shitty sentence to say.
All right.
So in this case, whoever this guy is, heaps of mistakes.
Heaps of mistakes.
My question to him is: have you ever met a woman before?
Was this the first time you met a woman, or what's wrong with you?
Come on.
So many mistakes.
Stop doing that.
You think the oven was a big deal if his other kids get to use it?
I'm just curious.
I'm just wondering because I'm like, because I think if it's the ex-wife, it's like he's paying for stuff for his kids, you know?
Can't like no.
Oh.
Yeah.
So it's not how she would see it.
She would say, well, why are you doing stuff for his ex?
He's saying, well, it's for the kids, but she doesn't see it like that.
Yeah.
And right.
Okay.
So I have a couple of questions, if you don't mind.
Oh, sure.
Hey, Doug.
Do you mind?
Doug MPA is one of my, he's my co-host.
Yeah, I was going to stay out of this one, but I had to come on and speak up a little bit.
So I have a couple of dating theories I want to run by you.
So one, I think that a man gets to know a woman in two ways.
One to have sex with her and then one for a relationship.
And a man cannot audit a woman for relationship qualities until sex happens.
Do you agree?
Yes.
Okay.
Because I used to tell, you know, I have a sister who's single and her friends.
And I'm like, you can't.
You think a guy is going to want to get to know you for a relationship if you haven't slept with him first?
It doesn't know.
That's what.
Do you believe also if a man's going to sleep with you and leave, he's going to do it no matter what.
So it doesn't matter if he waits six hours, six days, or six weeks, right?
You're correct.
Yeah.
There you go.
Right.
And so over here, we say no single mothers.
Don't sleep with them.
Don't date them.
Don't marry them.
If you're a man, and I'm equal opportunity.
If you're a man with no children, don't date a woman with children.
And if you're a woman with children, don't date a man with children.
Do you agree or no?
Not quite.
So it's not so black and white.
So here's the statistics on it from my experience coaching lots of people.
So what I see is if you get a single dad, he can date a woman with or without kids.
And it's okay.
And they have the ability to create a 10 out of 10.
But if you flip it and you take a single mom, she can't date a guy without kids and only can date a guy with kids for the opportunity to create a 10 out of 10.
Okay.
It's based.
Very good.
I told you, Doug MPA, that he's going to agree with a lot of our stuff.
Yeah.
We have some differences, but I told you.
Go ahead.
Another thing is the single mother thing.
And then one of the most I used to tell the guys I used to mentor, you can just set aside disposable time and resources to date.
Would you say that to a man, right?
Oh, 100%.
Yeah.
You got to have the time.
You got to have the money.
You got to be able to pay for dates.
But then the equal part is a woman has to be available for a man to date her.
Right?
Yeah.
So because one of the things, I live in a very career-minded city right now.
And I'll be on a date with these women who are professionals.
They go on their girls' trips.
They have their sororities, all this crap in their lives.
And then they'll find a way, find sometimes to go on a date.
And they'll say, well, I'm really busy, but I'll make time for the right person.
And you said that putting your children first is an unattractive thing to say.
For me, that's just an unattractive thing to say to a man.
Like, you're supposed to have time to be found as a woman, right?
If you want a relationship, you should put the time aside to be found as a woman, right?
Yes.
A lot of women will choose career, Doug, because it has a bit more certainty for them.
So they'll go, well, if I work really hard, I know I can achieve these things in my career, but I don't know how to achieve a 10 out of 10.
So I'm not going to put too much effort into it.
So I'm going to pretend and go, I'm too busy.
I'm not going to really look for a relationship, even though deep down they yearn for it.
Because you can also see that when a girl who's career-driven, she meets the right guy.
Sometimes she gives up everything, quits the job, changes everything, moves states, do anything.
Over here, we say that modern women reserve the right to change their minds about anything at any time, you know, which is why, you know, I always tell Pearl that we're in the great experiment where women want to get these degrees just to get them or they want to get these jobs.
So the average male CEO's career is seven to eight years, almost 10 years.
The average female CEO is two to three years because they want to get to the top and try it.
And then they say, oh, this is too tough.
I went out.
And a lot of them know that all of their accomplishments, if it gets too hard, they can just try to find a man and have him take care of everything.
Well, that's their idea in their head at least.
It's a fun.
Go ahead.
I'm sorry.
It's a fun thought.
Yeah.
And so, okay, would you say that anything that you're good at takes practice, even relationships?
Oh, 100%.
Yep.
So if there's a woman that has no rel, because in the area I'm in, I meet these career-oriented women who give all their best years to some high-priced institution where they get some degree that nobody cares about to get a job where they're not going to make any money.
Then they go out into the workforce and they work for some job that they can care less about them.
So then they're in the, I've met women in their early to mid-30s with no relationship experience, none.
And they usually wake up around 33 to 35 and they're like, oh, I want to be in a relationship.
So what would you say to a man who's getting to know a woman and she says, oh, you say, what's your longest relationship?
And she says, a year or less.
How would you advise that guy to navigate the situation with that woman who's had no relationship experience?
And believe me, it's more common than you think.
Believe me.
The first thing I would say to that guy is, why did you ask her about her past?
You don't ask people about their past ever.
Okay.
So the second thing is, don't ask her about her past relationships.
Okay.
What's she like right now?
Yeah.
Can you take her on a date this week?
That's what I want to know.
But this girl, you can't ask her about her past relationships because she's never had any.
Good.
No experience, no bad lessons.
So a woman that has no relationship experience in her 30s is a good thing?
Would you rather a woman in her 30s with not much relationship experience or a woman in her 30s who's had 20 relationships?
Doug, you'd say 20, right?
Yeah, I just think that because I've, you know, I've been married and divorced.
And guys, in the chat, if you've been married and divorced, put in the chat how tough it is when you get back out on the dating scene and you're talking to a girl who's never been in a relationship or has barely been in relationships and wants to be married and you hear her talk about marriage and how delusional she is with marriage.
It's like one of the worst things ever.
You're just like, you have no idea what you're talking about.
So I'd take a woman who was divorced over a woman who's never had relationship experience.
Okay.
Because, you know, at least she knows how to be in a household with a man, share bills, make compromises and stuff.
But I think that woman who's never had a relationship by the time she's 30 is a red flag.
It is a strange amount of time to be single.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then would you say, so here in America, the student loan debt, 70% of the student loan debt is owned by women.
And I would tell them, so I think that a woman's financial decisions is a reflection of her decision-making process or lack thereof.
Would you agree?
I suppose to a certain degree, but.
So should a guy disqualify a woman based upon her, like if she has $150,000 in student loan debt or like $50,000 in credit card debt or is she upside down on her mortgage?
Is that something that a guy should take into consideration when dating a woman?
Or do you think that he can find the one and help her figure it all out?
The latter.
Yeah.
So we're all human beings, right?
It's not everyone is a genius with finances.
A lot of people make a lot of bad decisions, not necessarily their fault.
A lot of women make bad decisions with finances.
I'm sorry.
Just remember, Doug, it's not that they're bad people.
They were raised in an education system by parents who didn't know that well.
They're okay.
They're good people.
They just made a few bad decisions, but it's out of ignorance.
It's not, they didn't know there was other options.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Everything you're saying, I agree with, but we're in the age where people want to make their problems your problem.
Because one of the best sayings my daddy used to say to me was, everyone has problems, but you're making your problem my problem.
And that's the problem.
And so you just have to, I mean, everyone's got problems, but you just have to be aware as to what that person is bringing into your life.
Understand what I'm saying?
And like, I do teach to find someone who doesn't have many problems, but that's usually not in regards to debt.
It's usually in regards to some people you meet have a whole long plethora of problems, depression, anxiety, and this and that, and this and that.
And they have like 20 problems, right?
Avoid those people.
They got too many problems.
Okay.
But yes, I try to avoid people with problems as much as you can.
But I also teach a woman's value isn't derived from finances or net worth.
Yeah, but like, I wouldn't really want to date a guy with a ton of debt.
Like, because it shows really poor decision making.
You know, like by the very large difference between a man and a woman, though.
Yeah, but people can date what they want.
So it's, it's not for me to say.
But like, even my boyfriend, like, he dumped his last girlfriend because she had a bunch of debt and he didn't want to deal with it.
No, he dumped her because he didn't like her.
Wait, so you think a guy can just like like a woman past all of her faults?
Yes, to a certain degree.
Okay.
So it's based on how much, it's based on attraction.
So if someone says, oh, you know, I dumped that person because their mother-in-law was bad.
No, you didn't.
You dumbed that person because you didn't like them that much.
You didn't like the mother-in-law too, but that's not really the real reason.
It's how much you like that person.
If you really like someone and you have such good chemistry and compatibility and X fact and they can do the job and they're just great, and you just think, I want to be with this person, you're going to be with them.
Even if they got a little bit too much debt or they are smelly armpits, I don't know, whatever.
You're going to like them regardless.
Yeah, regardless of that fact.
Guys, remember, this isn't a business decision.
This isn't like buying a business.
You're not going to go on a pros and cons list and going, well, is this a good decision for me?
Is this good for my future?
It's based on emotion.
Do you think it's if a man and woman are getting into a serious situation?
They've been dating for about what's your timeline of when it should be considered serious?
What, like three months, six months or something like that?
Six months move in.
Yeah, go ahead.
Okay.
I thought I heard that.
Yeah, six months move in, but around the eight-week mark, you're going to say, I love you and become official.
So do you think that both sides should, even if they don't share, I don't believe in the word partner.
I think that's one of the worst things to ever happen to the dating market.
And the reason why is because your partner's in business, right?
And business partners have a contract that clearly defines the equity and the roles between partners, right?
And so you never really hear men say the word partner.
It's women.
They say the term partner.
You're in Australia, so maybe everyone uses it down there.
They have to overseas, they use it more.
Go ahead.
Sorry.
And like, you know, I have to thank you for getting through another day in the feminist hole that is Australia.
Because let me tell you, you guys have it rough down there, man.
You have it rough.
But anyway, I don't like the word partner.
Well, women don't like the word partner because husband, wife, fiancé, boyfriend, girlfriend have implied roles.
And I think that women don't really like anything with defined roles, defined values, anything like that.
Anyway, so let's say you're in boyfriend, girlfriend mode, right?
Even if you don't share with your significant other, do you think that the man should ask himself, okay, what am I going to get out of this relationship with this person?
And the woman should too?
No, not really.
Not that specific question.
Okay.
The question you ask yourself is, do I want to be with this person the rest of my life?
Doug, do you have any?
Yeah.
No, I just because, like, okay.
I'll flip it for you, Doug.
So I assume you probably have a best friend, right?
A guy you've known for ages.
You guys hang out, have lots of laughs, a best friend, right?
Yes.
When you're best friends with this guy, do you stop and go, what am I going to get out of this relationship?
Yeah, of course.
Of course.
Doug, that doesn't sound like a good friendship to me.
Why are you asking me?
No, no, no, because here's the thing: there are givers and there are takers in this world.
And givers learn a hard lesson in setting boundaries and not letting people take.
Giving people are the most powerful people on the planet because we accumulate resources and skills and education and all these things for the sake of others.
But there are people that will take advantage.
So you have to ask yourself, What am I getting out of this?
Or you will be taken advantage of.
That's the thing.
So, like, what should here's the thing?
Doug, I have a more, I have a more sort of stoic, masculine approach to life to a certain degree.
How many people do you think take advantage of me?
You've been taking advantage of you.
You're a man.
There was some time in your life where you got to take advantage of it.
If you say, you never have to be able to do that.
The only people who have taken advantage of me are the ones I've allowed to happen.
At no point ever will I claim to be a victim or say that person took advantage of me.
I can't believe it.
I let it happen.
Whether it was right or wrong, or whether it's a good or bad, it doesn't matter.
I think Doug, you're just saying that's why you have to ask the question sometimes.
Yeah, that's why you have to ask the question and do the audit because if you don't ask the question, you're not going to be able to take the next step of what you're talking about.
The days of, because I just don't think that anyone, you have to know, okay, if you're giving your time and your resources to society, to a job, to a woman, you have to know what you're getting out of it.
You cannot even expect a lot, but you should be getting something.
Understand I'm saying.
What should you get from a wife, do you think?
Respect, dignity, a family.
You know, she should be your support system because when men win, everyone wins.
When women win, they win for themselves.
Well, yes.
A lot of listeners like that sentence, Doug, but you're technically correct.
Respect's a very funny thing.
Yeah, it's a very interesting thing.
What I'm saying, in a 10 out of 10 relationship, you don't ask yourself that question because it's already there.
Yeah, it's like if you sit down to a big table of food and you go, What am I gonna eat?
It's already right in front of you.
You don't need to ask the question.
It's the same in that relationship.
I don't need to ask what my wife brings to the table because all that, everything you just said is already there.
I don't ask myself the question because I can see it.
Do you believe if it stops being there?
Like, do you believe in divorce in some cases?
So, if something happened and those things stopped happening, I would say to myself, Well, what's happening here?
What can I do to fix this situation, remedy it, talk about it?
Something's going to happen, right?
But I also teach people: don't live in a hellish situation, yeah.
For your whole so, yes, I technically believe in divorce, it'd be a perfect world if it didn't exist, but don't live in a shitty situation for 10 years just because you want to keep your vows strong.
If you're in hell, get out of it.
Yeah, I'm gonna read a super chat really quick.
Um, it's not apples to apples, 20 relations at 30 can be a red flag because she's obviously having issues locking a man down.
Whereas zero relationships could be a red flag or not, depending on her if she's a trad farm ex guys.
If a girl hasn't had relationships by 30, um, I don't know where you're meeting these like trad farm girls, I don't really see them existing too much.
But if you find one, let me know.
Um, Doug MPA, you got any other questions for him?
Um, and then I guess I can say, um, what if okay if you see behavior, if you're getting to the six-month mark, right, and you start to see behaviors that you're kind of not liking, right?
Because especially when you live with somebody, you know, it's not really the small aspect of living with no the large things, it's the small things over time.
Understand, do you how long should a man let's say the woman is doing something to like annoy him or something and he wants to correct her behavior?
Like, how long would you give the guy or the woman too?
Let's say the guy leaves his dirty drawers and your underwear in the kitchen sink or something like that.
Like, how long should each person give the?
Let's say if they want to have the conversation, say, Hey, I want you to change this.
How long should they give the person to change?
So, great question, Doug.
Very funny.
Um, I teach a bit of a hierarchy with communication.
So, you've got small boundaries, medium boundaries, and hard boundaries.
Okay, so in that particular case of the dirty undies, you'd probably do a medium boundary, and the medium boundary is about five seconds just using words.
I don't like that, don't do that.
That's it.
And from that point, moving forward, that shouldn't happen.
That's then that's it.
Like, it's that's not really a big thing.
If it's a more complicated, convoluted sort of issue, you might need to have a hard conversation where you sit down together.
But if you have two people who agree that you're never going to argue and who are great communicators and you have a decent level of attraction in the relationship, you can get over basically any issue.
And if she or he doesn't change, like if they keep doing it, um, do you suggest they end the relationship or keep so we escalate down the hierarchy?
So, we start with small boundaries, then medium boundaries, hard conversations, then hard boundaries.
If we do the whole list and they're still being a goose, then we get out of there.
Okay, and then I guess my last question would be: um, You said you should move in within six months, right?
And then get married when usually, so you get engaged around the 12-month to 18-month mark, and then the perfect what I see, the perfect length of engagements usually about six months, nine months, somewhere around there.
Okay, um, big wedding, small wedding.
Do you believe in that thing where because they say that the smaller the wedding, the more likely it is that your relationship is going to last?
Would you, yeah, I don't know, I don't know where they're getting these statistics, but it's very funny.
I've seen another one which says the more expensive a ring is, the more chance of failure.
I don't know where they're getting these statistics.
I don't know if they're true.
Um, I had a medium-ish wedding.
If I could do it again, I'd make it even bigger.
Best day of my life, credible, so much fun, amazing, right?
Um, some people elope.
What I see eloping is eloping's got that energy to me.
Like, you see a teenager, I'm not going to have a party, no one likes me anyway.
I'm just going to sit in my room by myself.
It's got that energy.
It's really, come on, it's really sad sort of energy.
I think have a massive wedding.
I think bigger the better.
I think act like you're, it's one thing that you're going to do once in your life.
Give it a huge amount of energy.
Um, I spent a fair bit on my wedding, I would have doubled it.
I don't know what on, but bigger the better, I think.
Best day of my life, okay.
And then, um, just for what advice, what is the difference in advice that you give for people that are looking for a relationship and have never been married to the ones who are divorced and getting back into the dating market?
Basically, exactly the same, brother.
Yeah, it's not, it's not too much difference, actually.
So, whether I'm coaching someone who's never been married or who is divorced, I coach a lot of people who've been divorced, still the same, high-value dates, have fun, don't settle for people who you know it's no good, and just get out there and be persevering and have a good time.
The more fun you have in the dating, the better chance of success you're going to have faster.
Okay, and then the last thing I say ghost all these women, man, you know, uh, um, I'm all about ghosting.
I think, because one thing I think that men, we have to learn to get rejected early.
We have to face the fact that we're told that we're not fast enough, we're not tall enough and stuff.
But it isn't until a woman's in her 20s or 30s that she starts getting rejected.
And this guys, I just always say women that feel entitled to your money, your resources, your time, and closure.
Don't give them any of it, especially closure.
Like, I don't see guys expecting closure in the dating market, but why do women expect closure?
Why?
Because they've probably never been rejected a lot.
Um, one thing I teach, Doug, is closure is something you give yourself.
So, if someone goes to you, then take a second and go, okay, they're not my ideal partner.
I'm not theirs.
It's okay.
I'm going to move on.
Give yourself that closure.
Yeah.
But, Doug, overall, brother, you seem pretty harsh on women.
Well, we're harsh on women here.
Yeah.
You know, it's just, you know, when you have a where's the love?
Where's the love, guys?
Um, you're here's the thing the rhetoric of women nowadays and how women act, like, here's the thing, and I honestly believe this.
The modern women playbook is they want to find a successful, ambitious man.
They want to date him, marry him, and then have him set his, what made him the man he is aside to help her achieve her selfish desires.
That's why so many of my friends who've been married and divorced, one of the most common traps that they get caught in is the man's money is the house money, and the wife's money is her money because she wants to maintain her.
I want to be in a relationship.
I want to be married, but I don't want to lose my independence.
I meet women out here.
So about 50% of the women I meet, I say, hey, if you get married, would you change your last name?
And they say no.
I'm like, what?
It's just the selfishness of women.
So I'd say maybe, because I honestly believe that maybe 20 to 30% of men are in a position to date seriously, to put themselves in a position to have a family and stuff like that.
But then I would say it's maybe less than that for women.
Like the marriageable woman that will support a man and knows that if she supports his dreams, she wins.
And they're just so few and far between.
So it's like, I'm just responding to the reality around me.
And here's the thing.
Men, we've only had our voice for the past, well, since 2015, but we're responding to 40 years of unfiltered misandry on the other side.
Like I'm just one of those people where I think you might be the type that still hold men to a higher standard.
I don't do that anymore.
Women want equality, let them have it.
You know, women have been, I can tell you everything that men don't like, that women don't like about men because we've heard it for the past 50 years.
Now you're hearing men talk about what they don't like about women, but a lot of people, they can't handle it.
I'm not saying anything that modern women don't say about men, but men, we have the right to say what's on our minds and our standards.
We try taking the higher moral ground.
We tried doing the right thing, but women call that patriarchy and misandry.
See, the dating market, men were perfectly fine with walking up to the house and knocking on a woman's door and asking her father if he can take her out on a date.
Men were perfectly fine with waiting for sex until marriage, but women changed all those standards.
One of the best things I've ever heard is women changed all the social rules when it comes to intersexual dynamics between men and women in the 20th century.
And the 21st century is men responding to it.
So a lot of women and a lot of, and some men don't like the way that men are responding to it, but too bad.
So I'm just a realist.
And if you think about it, I'm not saying anything.
I'm not saying anything that isn't equal on the other side.
I just think that dating, it's all fair and love and war.
And women just want it to be fair and it's not fair.
And one last thing I'll say is things are never going to be fair for men ever.
We don't expect it to be.
All this equality movement for women is doing, they're advocating for life to be as unfair for them as it is for men.
That's what equality is.
Life sucks as a man.
If you can make it not suck, get yourself a highly valued skill, highly valued trade, highly valued education, your life will be better.
Women are putting themselves in a position to have to do the same thing.
So let them have it.
Dog, I love your energy, brother.
So much energy.
I'm done.
I actually wanted to, unless you have a response to that, I have my last question.
Oh, I know.
Doug said a lot there.
One thing that I see, so I coach a lot of women who put career first and all this sort of stuff, and they are sort of hyper-independent.
The one thing I want you guys to remember, it stems from fear.
It doesn't stem that they're bad people.
Okay, that's why I want you to remember.
It's stemming from fear.
They're scared to trust a man.
They've been taught by their mothers or whoever that, you know, you got to do it yourself.
You've got to be self-reliant.
You got to be independent.
They're taught this from a young age.
They're not bad people.
Stemming from fear.
Yeah.
Okay.
Cool.
So I do this thing on my show where I get guys to dump me.
So I want to role play where you have to say how you would dump me.
I know how Doug would do it.
He would ghost you.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, boy.
So you would just ghost?
Well, it depends.
So I think ghosting is okay in the first maybe two dates.
After that, it's a little nasty.
Like, say something.
First date, it's okay.
But some people date someone for three months, then ghost.
It's like, oh, it's a little bit.
You got him on the line.
Sorry.
You got him on the line who does it.
Go ahead.
I love it.
No, so just you got to be honest.
Okay.
So let's do it.
Let's say.
Can you do a breakup scenario with Pearl?
Yeah.
So let's say you're dumping me because I just never give you your space or your alone time and I'm always nagging you about your hobbies.
Okay.
Well, one of the things I teach guys is space is only for astronauts, not for relationships.
So I wouldn't usually complain about that.
But what I would say, for example, if I did want to break up with someone anyway, just go, look, I just don't think we're getting along that well.
I don't think there's any longevity here.
I think let's cut it now so you can go out there and find your ideal partner and get out there and let's just go separate ways.
No, but is there something I can do to make it work?
No.
That's my favorite part of the show.
Nothing at all.
Well, what did I do?
Why?
What did I do?
Why?
Just two puzzle pieces which don't fit very well.
That's amazing.
Okay.
I'm going to borrow that and say that's actually pretty good.
So that's one of the things that I teach with finding your ideal partner, guys.
Finding your ideal partner is a very particular person, right?
Puzzle pieces which fit together.
You're going to meet people who seem pretty good, but the puzzle pieces don't quite fit.
They're not bad.
They're just not quite your person.
That's all.
Doug MPA, where do you rate that breakup from all the breakups we've had on our show?
I mean, that was actually pretty good because he went straight to the point.
It's pretty good.
The puzzle pieces thing was actually pretty good.
I'm writing that down right now as we speak.
Now you don't have to ghost as much.
You can use that.
So if I'm dating a lot of people, Doug MPA got put on, are we dating the same guy?
Yeah.
Yeah.
For ghosting a woman.
Anyone who's listening to this, don't be on those toxic Facebook groups that we dating the same guy.
Don't do it.
Don't use them.
They're really bad.
Yeah, Doug.
Doug MPA is on there.
I was, but she said that she took it down.
He ghosted it down.
And the date went really, really well, too.
The post even said, yeah, you know, the date went really well, but he goes to be 80 T.
So you can have a good date with it.
It was a really good date.
And I still got put it in one of those.
Wait, tell him.
Again, based on fear, yeah.
She had that fear in her heart.
So then she's going to start self-sabotaging.
Wait, tell him why you ghosted her.
And I want to see what he thinks.
So, first off, I'm very punctual, right, Pearl?
I'm always getting on Pearl because we do content strategy calls and all this stuff, you know, and she's late on the turn.
Okay, you don't call me at the same time every day.
What's that?
Go ahead.
No, go ahead.
Go ahead.
Oh, anyway.
So, and so she was late.
And then she grew up in some really super religious household that was borderline a cult.
So she's telling me about this religious cult that she was in.
And I'm just like, okay.
And then she was bisexual.
Like a red flag.
Huge red flag.
Yeah.
So she's late.
She's bisexual and she grew up in like this religious cult.
And I'm just like, bro, what?
No.
And so I just, and then I had a lot going on.
And I just, I don't know, I just, I don't.
Well, women have told men for years, we don't owe you our time, our bodies, any of that.
And I agree.
But then also, we don't owe women anything either.
We don't owe them closure or anything.
A lot of women think that we, you know, you ask me on a date.
So you owe me closure.
You have to tell me why.
No.
But if you don't, you'll get put in one of those Facebook groups.
Yeah, but you thought the red, you agreed with his assessment of that it was a red flag.
Yeah, the bisexual thing is a pretty big red flag.
Yeah.
I agree, but how so?
Why would you say that's a because it is a red flag, but what is your idea as to why it's a red flag?
I think it shows, I think human beings are funny.
I think we want to think that our partner thinks we are the most attractive person in the world and they're not attracted to anybody else.
We like to have that thought.
Bisexual says the opposite.
Yeah, I agree.
Yeah.
I told you you'd agree with a good amount of what he says.
I know, man.
I told you.
I told you, man.
I told you.
He's not like the Doug MPA heard female dating coach.
We're a little biased against him sometimes.
Yeah.
I live in the real world, guys.
I want to see everyone achieve a 10 out of 10.
Doug, I do a lot of stuff you say, but I want to see you in a 10 out of 10.
I want to see you in love.
Yeah.
Disney love.
So my first marriage, I can tell you the biggest problem with that was that I tried to love this person unconditionally.
Right.
And there's no such thing.
I think maybe you can love a child unconditionally, but someone that isn't blood related to you, you can't do that.
So how I approach it now is, and we could thank the late, great Saint Kevin Samuels for this.
Respect comes first.
You earn and keep each other's respect above all else because respect is harder to get back than love.
Right?
How do you get respect, Doug?
Oh, yeah.
It comes over time through integrity.
Your words have to equal your actions.
Respect is earned.
So you have to go through earning some respect.
It's a very interesting subject, respect.
It's kind of confusing.
Some people get respect very easily.
Some people have to work really hard for respect.
Some people give respect and get nothing back.
Some people give nothing and get a huge amount of respect.
It's a very complicated issue.
I get a lot of respect, but it's very confusing.
It's quite complicated.
Well, I can say, once again, if you get if you get so much respect, particularly your significant other, you got to keep it at all costs.
Because odds are, Jake, there are people in your life, family members, friends who you say that you love, but you can't have them in your life anymore.
Why?
Because they lost your respect, right?
It's easier to give love back than respect.
So I think that that's number one.
Number two is utility.
There should be a utility to you being together.
There's no reason why you should be in what you call a 10 out of 10 relationship and the man or the woman should be suffering from anything that a single person suffers from.
I.e., I have a friend, right?
Whose husband won't drop her off at the airport before 9 a.m. and won't pick her up after 9 p.m.
That's a very weird rule.
I'm like, what?
what that's what a single a single person would have to find a ride to the and when she goes out on work trips she has to leave the house at like five o'clock in the morning so So he doesn't get out of bed and his wife has to take an Uber to the airport, right?
It's like, what's going on here?
Yeah, he's a bit of a jerk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so I think that, or a utility would be building that life and having your hobbies together, all these different things where, because respect and utility are those things where if you get in a fight and you kind of walk away from each other to different sides of the house, you can kind of look around and audit your life and be like, all right, I respect this person.
We have a good thing going here.
Let me go apologize.
And then love is after that.
Whereas my first time, I just tried to love the person through everything and you never want to do that.
No, you're right.
Yeah, that's a good order.
That's pretty good, Doug.
Yep.
So then what was this about Disney love again?
What was that?
I want you to achieve it.
Even though you got great rules, I got a lot of rules too.
They're fantastic, right?
But I want you to achieve it.
How many dates should Doug be going on a week?
One?
If he can take one great girl out a week, fantastic.
Doug, how old are you, brother?
I'm mid-40s.
Okay, so probably, yeah.
What age are you going for?
So, like 28 to, I'd say 28 to 35.
Okay.
It doesn't matter too much about the age.
If you can go on one great date a week, like a proper date, have a great time, you should be able to achieve a 10 out of 10 this year.
Find a girl who you want to spend the next 50 years with.
Yeah.
Just I want you to remember one thing.
I want you to remember one thing going on dates with these girls.
You might find a fantastic girl.
Just remember, she probably hasn't thought about this stuff as much as you have.
So go a little bit easy on her.
You know what?
Pearl even says that.
She says that all the time.
Why do you go so?
I said, darn PA, that girls will change their opinions when they like a guy.
100%.
Like, girls will have blue hair and be a feminist and then start dating a conservative guy.
And then she doesn't think women should vote six months later.
You're sitting this you got to sit there and you just kind of listen to all this rhetoric and all this rigamaro.
And I'm just like, this is what I have to do.
And I even know that she's just like putting on this on this bravado.
But it's just sitting through it is the problem.
I wish I could hit the fast forward button.
I get you.
I get you.
100%.
Women are attracted to women in general, but only traumatized and damaged women pursue such relationships.
Okay, well, thanks so much for coming on.
Let me know if you're ever in America.
We'll totally bring you in studio if you're ever here.
Yeah, I'll come to America, definitely.
100%.
Maybe next year.
Sure.
I'd love it.
Yeah.
You got yourself a new fan over here, Jake.
I was a believer before, but I am now.
Check your stuff out.
I told you.
We're biased a little against female dating coaches, but I was like, no, he's pretty honest with the women.
Yeah.
And I was pessimistic, wasn't I?
I know.
Who is this guy?
So if you want me over, odds are you're going to win over a lot of the guys that are going to watch this after the fact and a lot of guys in the chat.
I love that.
And Doug, I want you to remember, I'm not a female dating coach by choice.
Yeah.
It just happens to be that I coach 80% women.
It's not my yeah.
It's just that turns out just what it is.
Interesting.
Yeah.
It just sort of became that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just the, you know, like the Steve Harveys where they just say like, women are awesome.
Yeah.
But no, when I saw the one, I liked the one of you where you were like, what was it?
I wrote in my notes.
I mentioned it earlier.
I think you were saying like, oh, the club one.
That's what I was like, oh, I like him.
He's funny.
Going out at night without your partner.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, thanks for coming on.
Let me know if you're ever in America.
Do you want to shout out your stuff?
Hi, yeah, guys.
If you like me, just search up Jake Maddock anywhere.
You'll see me.
Cool.
All right.
Thanks for coming on.
Thanks, guys.
Thanks for having me.
Yeah.
Have a good week.
Yes.
Doug MPA, you got any final thoughts today?
Yeah, I wasn't going to come on, but I had to.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
No, I said I didn't know you were coming on.
I just heard you.
I know you texted me, but I didn't see it.
Go ahead.
Yeah, it's just, and because I can tell you you respect the guy, so you were kind of softball.
And I know you didn't, I know you didn't want it to become a debate.
So I didn't want to debate the guy, but I was kind of getting snake oil salesman at the beginning, but talking with him, he kind of, you know, I saw how based he was.
Yeah, I mean, like, he's, I think he agrees.
I'd say we probably agree like 60% of the stuff he says.
I mean, not all of it, but you don't agree with like any everyone and anything, you know?
Yeah, he was great.
You know, I'll check out his stuff.
He's definitely, I would never pay a dating coach, but, you know, he's he's doing something right.
And, you know, any, I mean, he's in Australia, so I mean, that's enough.
Makes me feel bad for the guy.
Australia is a Australia in Canada, guys.
Yikes.
But yeah, great guess.
I'm glad that you brought him on.
And I just didn't want to try to debate the guy because, you know, I wouldn't know what you brought him for, but I just had to put some, you know, I have some serious, you know, my views about dating and stuff like that.
So I'm glad he was able to listen and give some feedback on it.
Yeah.
No, he's nice.
I like him.
Yeah, he could come on in studio if he's over here.
But, okay.
Any final thoughts you got?
Yeah, guys, you gotta, like I said to Jake, women still think that you should take the moral higher ground or the higher ground as a man.
You know, don't ghost women.
You know, they want to be modern while you're still holding on to your traditional roles in dating.
Why?
Why, guys?
Why?
You should be asking what's in it for you at all times because women are going to be doing the same thing.
Always ask yourself, what's in it for me as a man?
You know, this whole men sacrificing their mental, emotional, physical, monetary health for nothing, those days are over.
And once again, dating is war, guys.
All spirit and love and war.
So that's it.
Cool.
Well, guys, let me know if there's anyone else you want me to have on.
I want to do more of these collaborations.
He's in Australia, but I actually want to get more people in the studio because I know you guys liked me having like Laura Loomer on and those people.
So if you have any suggestions, put them in the comments.
Also, guys, if you want to join our private members-only community, we do have different courses on there.
We have administrative violence, how to use the justice system against these hoes that are using it against you.
We also have we're going to add how to dump someone.
So we're going to take the best breakups and give courses on them.
I like that one.
I think we should keep that.
And then what are the other ones?
We have tips on how to see if your girl's cheating.
We have some other stuff in there, anyways.
It's a one-time lifetime membership.
So if you want to get it a call and see if it's a right fit for you, the link is the first one.
It's pearlinvite.com.
That's pearlinvite.com.
Anyways, guys, let me know what you think in the comments.