CONTACT US: Email: paranaughtica@gmail.com Twitter: @paranaughtica Facebook: The Paranaughtica PodcastCricket: www.theindividuale.com Twitter: @Individualethe Today we are diving into some very unfortunate, strange, and uncommon ways people have died. This is part two of an ongoing segment. We’ve got some interesting stories here that range from deaths due to excessive gaming, excessive ‘clothing’, excessive animal behavior, and excessive technology that seems to have a vendetta against humans. From elevators to ‘gyrobikes’ to helicopters, the message is clear..........humans are not safe.Aside from all of that, as usual, we will get into some of the news going around, and that is always a particular treat. Please, sit back and enjoy the show. Credits to ‘Purrple Cat’ for use of the song, ‘Sonder’. Check ‘Purrple Cat’ out here: purrplecat.com/ ***If you’d like to help out with a donation and you’re currently listening on Spotify, you can simply scroll down on my page and you’ll see a button to help me out with either a one-time donation or you can set up a monthly recurring donation. You can also go to the Facebook page where I have a link to Ko-Fi and Pay-Pal if you'd like to help out the show. I would greatly appreciate it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The following show was performed in front of a live pretend studio on your discretion.
I want you to play.
Yeah, I'm taking my...
Blast the whole pot.
All right.
Cool, man.
Did you hear this shit about the next DNC or if it's happening right now or whatever, or it's going to happen, the DNC convention in Chicago, Illinois?
Oh, the protester army?
Well, fuck, man.
They are offering free abortions for females and vasectomies for males at the DNC convention.
In Chicago.
Dang. Dude.
There's a waiting list, a high demand, and this has all been verified.
We really don't want you to reproduce.
Yeah. Just so you know.
They're behind the whole kill as many people as possible, depopulate, you know, take these killer vaccines, become men or become women, cut your genitals off.
Don't reproduce.
Family sucks.
You don't want babies.
Go get abortions.
It's all before depopulation.
But check this out.
The services will be provided on a sliding fee scale.
Pay what you can and get the healthcare you need.
That's a quote.
According to the appointment reservation form, which only requires a name, a date of birth, and basic contact information.
It's just like, go in there, snip my fucking testicles, man.
Snip them.
Quick, go, go, go.
You know, that's all you have to do.
And they're probably just like, boom, boom, busting them out left and right.
You know, they're just like having a fucking heyday for this one.
You know, it would probably actually help a lot of their constituency would be, you know, if they just gave them medical procedures they needed done, but didn't want their insurance rates to go up or couldn't afford it or didn't have insurance.
Should be nice to provide those services for free, wouldn't it?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. I mean, you know, there's a lot of other health care we could be doing.
And so Vice President Kamala Harris, who will be nominated as Democratic President, has been outspoken for her support for abortion rights after the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v.
Wade, which had federally protected abortion access for half a century.
So, man, these Dems are just like, we fucking want to kill babies.
Let's fucking kill them.
And because we know what they do with the infants, the fetuses and stuff, right?
They put it in fucking facial creams.
They put it in all sorts of women products.
They eat them.
They put it in powders.
They put them in pills.
They sell them on the markets.
Man, I've seen this shit in so many documentaries.
It's fucking crazy.
It's a highly profitable industry that primarily relies on later term.
Yeah. Bear in mind.
Yep. That's why, man, they push for the latest term abortion.
You know, third trimester, ready to pop out.
Fucking quick, get that thing.
We gotta kill it.
We have to kill it.
It's a danger to society.
It's a little parasite, but we're gonna turn it into a product to put it under your face.
So, come on.
I mean, if it's such a small, like, vanishingly small percentage of them, why is it so important to preserve that particular portion of abortion, right?
So, yeah, the fact that it's...
The most profitable trimesters is a really perverse incentive to keep it till point of birth, really.
Harris has called abortion one of America's fundamental freedoms, according to a White House release announcing her, quote, fight for reproductive freedoms, end quote, in December.
Fight for reproductive freedoms.
So bring your fucking pregnant ass into this DNC convention and you'll get a very cheap abortion.
You won't have to care about a thing.
We'll take that right out of you and off your hands.
Well, yeah, just like your right to censorship and gun buybacks.
Yeah, exactly.
There's lots of rights.
You know what's crazy?
And maybe a left if you say anything about it.
Here's what's crazy.
I'll just read this because this is nuts.
Buying or selling human body parts is a federal felony under US-42 code 274E.
The commercial trafficking of body parts from an aborted baby is punishable by up to 10 years in prison, blah blah blah.
But the government does this shit constantly.
We have abortion clinics on camera telling us exactly what they do.
Well, yeah, that's just a racket protecting its industry.
Gotta keep out the outside competition to keep the prices up.
Do you remember that video?
It was a news segment in the 90s.
They had discovered a shipping container full of human body parts.
Completely full.
Do you remember that fucking news segment?
I think I saw a mention of it once.
Dude, it's crazy.
Wasn't exactly something a lot of news outlets were eager to ever.
Actually do a story on.
Yeah, I have it bookmarked somewhere.
But yeah, they just go to the DNC.
They're going to give you all sorts of awesome procedures.
I mean, that brings a whole new level to abortion on demand.
I mean, when you make it free.
Completely free.
Well, I guess not completely free.
Sliding scale.
Sliding fee scale.
Pay what you can.
So, if you just go in there and, like, I'm broke, I have nothing, they'll be like, well, that's fine.
We'll get you something.
Come on in.
Get people really used to the credit, get people used to the social credit score idea.
Where, you know, you get a certain sliding scale based on how good you are.
And, uh, did you hear this?
The Berlin government is offering children a pro-prostitution picture book intended to teach them that the sex trade is safe and enjoyable.
Quote, Rosie needs money, end quote.
It's the book.
Which is written from the perspective of a little girl.
And the book is targeted at children ages 6 to 12. Just pretty much like, we're gonna just admit there's not gonna be any viable careers when you get older.
Pro-prostitution picture book for 6 to 12 year olds.
It just goes back to our freaking, you know, our recent episodes about the UN.
All of that stuff.
Man, it's just, yeah.
This world is being flipped by the Satanist, old Babylonian, money, magic, Luciferian, Malachianists.
As always.
These fucking reptilians.
Oh, it's through half a dozen layers above fiscation for deniability.
It just flipped the world.
Flipped everything upside down.
Well, you know what?
Let's get started here.
What is up, everyone?
Welcome to the show.
This is the Paranautica Podcast.
Cricket, how you doing today?
Not too bad.
Awesome day.
So glad it's not as hot as it's been.
It's finally cooling down.
AC's been on the fritz for three weeks now, so any reprieve in the heat is welcome.
Smoke is gone.
Air is clear.
Not very clear.
Farmers have actually been testing their soil, doing samples, testing soil samples, and they're finding very high levels of aluminum and other metals that are pretty much killing the plants, not letting them grow.
And this is what I've been saying for years.
That's what the chemtrails are going to do.
It's not really directly into it.
They are making it to inhale, but...
They're doing it more so, in my opinion, than I've been outspoken about this for years.
It's for the soil, so the plants won't grow.
And the only plants that are growing are genetically modified, like Monsanto's, all those patent and seeds.
Oh, and that convenient.
Yeah. That they just happen to function despite this aluminum concentration.
Yeah, so people's organic heirloom plants are just, they're not going to be growing too well.
And like, that's my fucking...
Parents have this apple tree, and it used to just grow so big and so many awesome apples.
The past, like, four years, I've just been tiny little apples, and now it's basically dead.
I just went there yesterday.
The tree is basically dead.
Yeah, that ain't...
Tiny apples on it.
I'm not something right with the soil there.
No. Anywhere.
Nothing's really growing, dude.
Unless it's, like, genetically modified, because they have to control everything!
Anyway. Like always, we have another toenail biter of an episode for you.
And if stories were feet, then these feet would resemble those that are the victims of decades-old feet binding, never washed, not even a dog's lick.
Remember those things?
Yeah, that's such a beautiful mental image.
I wouldn't recommend biting those particular toenails.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
No, man.
Have you seen those old pictures, dude, of old feet-bound feet that were removed from Asian women who used to do feet binding and just put their feet in jars of formaldehyde to be on display at circuses and museums and antique roadshows
and shit?
Have you seen those?
A long time ago.
Might as well refresh my memory since now I have to.
Well, I'm just Googling it.
I thought you were going to traumatize me with them.
I'll have to do that later on my own.
You have to traumatize yourself.
Yeah, it's crazy, man.
It's just feet.
Those feet are so tiny, dude.
And it's just so gnarly because they look like...
Oh, they're just so gross, dude.
Just so gross.
But severed, bound feet or not, this episode is all about death.
Yay! Yay, everyone!
Yay! We cover such positive and uplifting topics.
Let's go for a really pleasant one like death.
Yeah, people love it.
People are loving it.
But it's not going to be all about that boring death, right?
That puts the kids to sleep at night.
No, none of that.
This episode is all about the strange, the unusual, the weird deaths that tend to pique the interest of the inquisitive and, well, equally strange, unusual, and weird minds like...
Like ours, I guess.
Yeah, it was pretty entertaining looking this stuff up.
I mean, when you're dealing with all this macabre subject matter and it's always so depressing, you gotta make sure that you keep things like death fun, because, you know, sanity requires it.
Yeah, you know what, Cricket?
There's nothing more fun than a little death.
And personally...
I've had an interest in the whole death thing, actually.
That's a double on top.
Let's get real here.
Let's get real here, though.
So I've had an interest in the whole death thing ever since I can remember.
And I'm pretty sure it all started with the church and the story of Jesus just being forced into learning all about that.
But what has always piqued my interest in death was not just the fact that all of us are going to die.
Unfortunately, some in more terrible ways than others.
But also in the manners of death, right?
Including murders, or murders labeled as executions, or suicides, or murders labeled as suicides, or accidents, and what this episode's all about.
The weird and unusual ways that people have passed on from this existence into whatever is next.
Which are usually premature deaths, by the way.
Yeah, it tends to be.
I mean, unless you're going to go Bratharian and ascend into the heavenly realms like Enoch, you're going to die.
So, I mean, if you think about it, let's be optimistic here.
Maybe in these cases they were meant to expire much sooner and this was simply the universe noticing and pretty much going, well, I have to correct that.
So Cricket, what are your earliest memories of violent death?
Because for me, they came from movies and television.
For instance, One of the earliest memories of a graphic death was from a movie that I can't recall, but it was some guy took another dude and buried him in the ground up to his neck in the middle of this dirt road, and the scenes kept cutting from a low-riding Corvette or something,
and the front bumper had like three inches of clearance, if that.
And the scenes are just going back and forth between this car, picking up speed, and the guy whose head is the only thing sticking out of the ground.
And the music was just drawing you in, so this is intense music.
And I'm just a kid, so I'm like, oh my god!
You know, and I remember this vividly in the scene.
The scene, man, it cuts to a shot where you see the dude's head in the foreground, and then there's a left turn in the road in the background, and so the viewer, you know, as you see it...
The red car comes around the corner, and it drives directly into the dude's head, and his head just goes boop, and it catapults through the air, you know, and the music crescendoed, and that was that, and it was pretty fucking intense.
I don't know, I was like five or six, maybe even younger, but that always stuck with me.
And another one that always stuck with me was from that 1987 film Robocop, when Officer Alex Murphy, played by Peter Weller, fucking awesome little part, man, he was attacked by that armed gang.
Remember this?
And during the assault, Murphy's arm is just like blown off from all the gunshots to his body.
You remember that shit?
Oh yeah, it was a really gnarly scene.
That always stuck with me, dude.
It's just like...
Heavy even for 80s violent action movies.
I mean, that was pretty gruesome even for 80s violent action movies, which as a whole were pretty intense and gritty that way.
The 80s, they were just like going to some intense extremes, but just the whole...
The whole arm just, like, fell off.
And it was just like, what the hell?
Because you never see that.
You never see a body part fall off, right?
Anyway, and that was actually the origin story of Robocop, by the way.
Half man, half machine.
Built to eradicate crime.
Just in case you're wondering.
And actually, the scene was so graphic.
Man, check this out.
It was so graphic that it was pretty much the main reason why the film was initially rated X. But after some later edits, it was changed to a rated R. See, when I was younger, I was actually really impressionable.
So I tended to stay away from violent movies and such.
First violent thing that bothered me, actually, was from a kid's movie, All Dogs Go to Heaven.
Oh, yeah.
Did not like the hell scene with the dragon and the fire and the lava.
Had terrible nightmares about it for a few days afterwards.
Did not like the concept of Charlie going to hell at all.
Not a fan of that.
I'll be honest.
I do not remember this.
I do not remember this movie at all.
Oh, yeah.
See, it stuck in my head all these years because it was like the first movie that actually bothered me.
As for the first actually violent scene, because, you know, that wasn't really truly violent.
It was just scary.
I would say I came downstairs when my folks were watching a movie and they were watching The Terminator, I do believe it was.
And it was actually the I'll Be Back scene where I came down as he was driving through the doors and blew everybody away.
And then my parents noticed me standing behind them and yelled at me and told me to go back upstairs.
This movie's not for you.
And that stuck with me.
I was like, oh, that was...
My parents...
My parents let me watch all of these movies.
We had family nights, and they didn't care what I watched.
After being traumatized by a kid's movie, they were really careful with me.
They finally relented a few years later, once I was a bit older.
They decided, okay, you've probably been second-hand exposed to enough violent content anyways from just watching shows that you should be good.
So then I actually finally got to watch the second Terminator movie all the way through.
The gunshot, the shooting and stuff was, you know, it mostly felt like cool that I was like finally getting to watch an R-rated movie.
I wasn't freaked out at all.
But that nuclear annihilation scene, that one gave me nightmares again.
I did not like that.
That bugged me for a really long time.
Just the thought of just a wall of fire that you couldn't outrun.
It was nasty.
Yeah, I hear you on that one.
All Dogs Go to Heaven.
Did you know that...
The little girl that did the voice for one of those animals, I forget exactly, so ladies and gentlemen, please forgive me for this, but the girl who did one of the voices, she died before the movie was finished, but they already had her audio,
they already did her parts, recorded them, and then Burt Reynolds, who also played in the movie, did a voice.
He had to finish the movie.
And so they put him in a studio alone.
He requested that to listen to the little girl's parts and then respond to it.
And it's crazy, dude, because it's, like, all about, like, her dying in the movie, right?
And he's like...
Yeah, because in the movie, she's actually sick and dying, too.
It's the orphan girl.
Yeah, right?
That's messed up.
And so in the movie, yeah, so she's dying.
She's like, I'm gonna die.
I gotta go, whatever.
And so all her parts are recorded after she's dead.
And so Burt Reynolds has to do his recordings.
Well, that's got to be gut-wrenching.
Yeah, man.
So when you know that, you go back and listen.
You go back and listen to that part now in the movie and just know that she's dead and he's doing his parts.
And he actually, like, it's really difficult for him.
They had to do multiple sessions just because, or multiple takes.
Because he kept breaking down.
I would imagine that would be really emotionally trying to get through.
Yeah, it's giving me goosebumps right now, man.
Burt Reynolds was a good dude.
I think he was a good dude.
Just knowing Hollywood and all these people that are in it are creeps.
It's hard to know which ones are good or not.
But man, Burt Reynolds, he obviously had empathy.
So, I don't know.
Yeah, that was...
I don't know, man.
That's gnarly.
I had a breakdown.
He also did that photo shoot in Playboy.
Remember that?
The Burt Reynolds...
I did not know that one.
...hold out in Playboy.
He's got his own spread, huh?
Yeah. Like, literally his own spread.
Yeah, dude.
The twig and berries are out there.
All right, dude.
Anyway, let's get to this.
Huntington Beach, California, right?
Or, yeah, so in Huntington, California, police have started using what they have dubbed HP Robocop, alright?
It's a robot that looks like a futuristic trash can that just rolls around on some wheels that are just hidden beneath it.
Have you seen this little fucking thing?
Yeah, they do their best to make it look so cute and non-threatening, but...
The implications of it are just still too creepy for me to find it reassuring at all.
Give it some turrets and you have 30 seconds to comply protocol from like 8209 and goes from the great value robot to great peril.
I'm not sure what it has on it.
It's probably got some sort of pepper spray or like maybe it's got a net, a shooting thing that shoots a net.
That would be fucking sick.
Those little things that you throw with two balls on each end and wraps around your legs and shit.
It's got a couple of those.
It's probably got some cool shit.
Maybe that gel launcher that shoots the instantly solidifying gel that you get stuck in.
Oh, yeah.
Ooh, that would suck.
Oh, that'd be a horrible mess after this.
Yeah. How do you get that off?
Anyway, this thing comes from a company.
Called Nightscope Inc.
And they offer a few different versions of these things.
And one of them is basically an ATV.
And the others are like DEI version of R2-D2 post-op and on estrogen therapy.
Just look super gay.
And these robots...
I'm serious.
And these police robots collect and store pedestrians' faces regardless if you're wanted for a crime or not.
They're just going around and scanning everybody's faces, dude.
And license plates.
All without a warrant, by the way.
Nothing you can do about it.
So wear a mask, right?
The friendly face of rights violations.
Yeah, a ton of them.
And you can't even wear a mask because New York just passed a law banning the wearing of a mask unless it's a medical emergency.
So now they're fighting against people wearing masks.
This whole world is fucked.
Anyway, this particular model costs $8,000 a month to run.
So that's your tax dollars.
And this particular model in question weighs 400 pounds.
Cricket, tell me, do you think that that is too heavy for a couple of really angry citizens wearing masks due to the upcoming monkeypox COVID AIDS pandemic to just flip over and run?
They'll be outdoors.
They can flip it up for a second to get some extra respiration and flip that sucker.
I have faith in them being enraged enough.
I mean, that thing's like if the Johnny Five was turned into a government snitch.
It's hard to feel bad for them because they're being used for ill, but it's like, you look so cute.
It's sad that you're so evil.
400 pounds is nothing, dude.
If they're going to start putting these things in the streets and trying to fuck with citizens, people are not going to enjoy that, and they're going to flip those fuckers over, dude.
I've deadlifted more than 400 pounds.
I could flip that thing over.
I mean, I'm just a fucking scrawny little fucking...
Yeah, those things are going to end up like a turtle on their back.
Most definitely.
Oh, that would be hilarious, man.
I can't wait.
I can't wait to get the videos of all those happening.
All those getting flipped over.
Anyway, so what do we have for news updates?
Because I'm pretty sure the entire world is back on track after everything that went down the week before, right?
So much has happened this last week, so...
Yeah, everything's perfectly great.
We had a social security data breach that released, I do believe it was 2.5 billion records.
Nobody really reacted too strongly to it due to the fact that, you know, the dark web's already released all the actually juicy information.
This is just a compilation of all that to ensure voter fraud is broken.
Yep. But, like, they, uh...
But, yeah, they dumped it all out there this time.
All at once.
Mm-hmm.
And there's not really much else to say about that because it's, like, everything to do with those things has already really been exploited to death.
Everybody's already stole all the data that they wanted to.
This seems to strictly be about obfuscating voter records and shit.
Yeah, it just seems too convenient.
What is it, August?
Gee, all these came out here just in time.
August 18th.
I hope you weren't securing your voter rolls.
When is the actual, not inauguration, but is it the inauguration?
Whatever that thing is.
When's the actual thing happening?
Is that what it's called?
An election?
Yeah, November 5th, which I always thought was kind of funny.
I was like, why do you put it on...
Isn't that that Guy Fawkes Day?
Yeah. They literally put it on Guy Fawkes Day?
Now as I think about it...
Yeah, is it the 5th or is it the 6th?
Dude, if it's Guy Fawkes Day, that's on a Tuesday.
That's a huge red flag.
Wait. Oh, yes.
I was about to say Super Tuesday is what it's called.
That's a huge red flag.
Shit's going down, dude.
Tuesday? So in other words, it just happens to fall on Guy Fawkes Day this year.
How convenient.
That seems numerologically important.
Yes. 100%.
Let me confirm that.
Confirm that.
Please confirm that.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be pretty insane.
If this is confirmed...
Yes. I mean, numerologically...
It's the day of the election.
So yes, Guy Fawkes Day.
Yeah, shit's going down.
We're going to see some crazy shit.
Remember, remember.
The 5th of November.
Wow. Dude, that's crazy that we just looked at that.
Yeah, that is pretty nuts.
Checks out.
Weird. That's fucking weird.
I've been hearing the date for the past couple months and it just never rang a bell.
Like, oh yeah, that is Guy Fawkes Day.
I never even thought about it because I just don't care.
I guess it falls on Guy Fawkes Day every once in a while, but yeah, it's nuts.
I didn't even know it was called Election Day.
That's how much I don't care.
Oh my god.
Anyway, that's nuts.
I'm a little worried for that.
But let's move on from that.
The Trump-Musk talk, you know how Trump mentioned the other Iron Dome everyone's talking about, and they always said the sniper is three times further than the distance between the shooter and Trump.
You said some weird shit.
I feel like the length and long form nature of the conversation let a lot more slip than usually would.
Yeah. Like that other Iron Dome thing.
I was just like, boy, that's some conspiracy catnip right there.
You just gotta roll around in that and ask yourself, what's up with that?
It's funny because people are asking on Twitter, it's like...
What do you rate the talk?
Zero to ten, with ten being the most important, like, really most awesomest interview ever.
And he had comments like, dude, anons.
Two to a three.
You know?
And I'm like, yes.
I gave it a two, for sure.
Like, you guys are talking about nonsense.
And Musk was just, I don't know.
He said nothing important, in my opinion, at all.
And then Trump is throwing out little catnip.
It was just a really long display of...
Social awkwardness, which totally makes sense because Musk is a socially awkward billionaire, not a public speaker.
Or a politician.
Or a politician for that matter.
And he's trying to be one.
Yeah, and he's setting himself up talking so much, honestly.
I swear politicians always do that.
You just end up saying dumb crap if you talk enough.
Yeah, man.
And when Trump...
You know, becomes the fucking president again and makes Musk head of whatever that department they talked about.
And then Musk talked about politics and getting into politics in that interview.
He's definitely going to be into politics.
And how do you make that transition?
I'm worried about that.
I mean, if nothing else, he's pretty much being forced into it.
Because he's alienated all of his old buddies with his new factional choice.
That's true.
So he essentially is sided with the other faction that's fighting over this control that is creating the agitation necessary for all this nonsense to happen, really.
If either one of them was just dominant completely, this would eventually fade and rapidly at some point.
But since everybody thinks they got a release valve, it lasts so much longer.
Yeah. Well, fucking fuck Musk, fuck Trump.
From that, though, we can say...
I just have inherent distrust to anybody who wants to go into politics in the first place.
That's exactly it.
I always tell people, as long as you don't idolize them, and as long as you just inherently distrust people that go into politics...
You'll just end up being a lot better off, period.
Yeah, and you can't get to any of those positions unless you're filthy rich and buy yourself into it.
And you're not doing it for the better of mankind.
Exactly, and you're not doing it to better mankind.
I don't know.
Anyone who wants to be a politician is a sociopath.
That's just it.
But they had to create a hero.
So he's got to be the one to do things like stop the advertisers.
But then also secretly censor on the back end in regards to any criticism about all kinds of issues and put his finger on the scale and everything.
Oh, speaking of things Musk is putting his finger on the scale on, which is not necessarily one I'd even say he's doing necessarily as much bad in, but they've begun issuing mass arrests now over the whole comments.
So, back off and step away from the meme is no longer a joke.
Mass arrest?
What do you mean?
Over in the UK, they were arresting a whole bunch of people making comments.
There's all these posters.
This guy got like three years for words.
It's so nuts to me.
Talking about the whole Musk thing, I was thinking he is extremely involved in this.
And I don't necessarily want to say his involvement is even negative because what they're doing over there is so awful.
But it doesn't really seem to be helping.
It just seems to be agitating the situation further.
It absolutely is.
Yeah, so the UK chief of police, he was saying he'll track you down and have you, like anybody in the world, will track you down and have you deported to face the fullest extent of the law for saying anything critical about them.
Yeah. They mask that by saying, if you are promoting violence or racial hatred, or if you're just causing harm in the community, they're going to arrest you.
So, I mean, causing harm.
Fuck the UK police.
Fuck you, chief of police.
Such a vague term, causing harm.
Fuck you.
Anyway. Feelings damaged.
But hey, props to them for very promptly and...
Efficiently enforcing a law that they just created, thus demonstrating that when they actually care, they can do their job.
People just need to go in and break them out.
Go in and break them out, man.
Britain needs rescued at this point.
Yes, rescue them.
Seriously. Like, that whole Israeli thing, they fucking went in there and broke those prisoners out, those Israeli prisoners, because they had raped a bunch of Palestinian men.
Prisoners. Like...
The soldiers raped prisoners, and then the soldiers were arrested, and then the community was like, no, let them go, because raping Palestinians is okay.
And so they eventually broke them out, and they're out now, and they're off raping more Palestinians.
I mean, if you have to have your religion tell you that it's wrong, that really says so much more to me than anything else.
Your religion had to tell you that was a bad thing to do.
Exploit other people like that.
It's insane.
You shouldn't need a religious doctrine to say this is wrong to recognize that doing something that's so against someone else's bodily autonomy is wrong.
And then if you go into the Talmud, that is full of some fucked up shit.
That's the one that says Jesus is boiling in poo in Hades, right?
I'm not sure about that.
I remember there being a line about that.
They really don't like Jesus.
Anyone who's not them is Goyim.
We're just cattle.
To them, it's okay to rape young cattle and kill them because they're not God's chosen creatures in their fucking heads.
It's nuts.
This is what happens when you teach people that they're better than someone.
They start to get the idea that because others Aren't as good as them?
Well, maybe at some point they just aren't people anymore.
It's rough, man.
It's rough.
Organized religion is the worst thing that they could come up with.
I mean, they created all of that to control and do all of all the stuff that's happening.
It's all by design.
Anyway, World Health Organization Director General Tedros.
I don't know.
What's his name?
Tedros something?
Anyways, he's updating the world on the threat of monkeypox.
Yeah, monkeypox.
Also, he's a general?
He's an organized World Health Organization director, General Tedros.
That's concerning.
Yeah. Yeah, but that he has a military designation.
Wow, the martial implications of that.
Yep, and there's footage of him at some weird event.
Dressed in, like, women's underwear and shit.
Doing this weird little dance.
It's like a disco party.
And he's, like, he's getting a drink out of, like, a fucking juice bowl or something.
I don't know.
It's just really, really weird.
These people are really weird people.
Humiliation ritual?
Yeah. Yeah.
Sounds like one of the mandatory humiliation rituals y'all is here about.
I guarantee you dig deep into every single leading politician in the United States.
Just start there.
And you'll see that each of them has been recorded doing something weird.
There are going to be weird photos of them doing something weird.
All of them.
Guarantee that.
100%. Like, hey, if you want to stay in the club, shame yourself.
Oh, yeah.
Every once in a while they make a mistake and one almost slips through.
And then that guy catches a heart attack.
Like, what was that guy?
What was that one?
Governor guy who turned down the offer and then he died of, quote, a heart attack.
Aaron Russo.
Oh, is that when they actually had to admit that they had the heart attack on the CIA in one of those congressional hearings?
Yeah, they then claimed they didn't use it.
And claimed they didn't use it.
We never used this, but we have one.
Kind of like during the whole assassination attempt thing, the CIA came out and said, that was not an MKUltra guy, and everybody's like, oh, thank God.
We were all so worried that the CIA was going to, you know, be honest about things.
Yeah. Anyone who believes that...
We were worried you had to be true to form.
It's like a CIA coming out.
Just trust us.
We would never lie to you.
You know that, right?
And we're like, yeah, you'd never lie to us.
Yeah, you're right.
I mean, the best part is how it's such a casual acknowledgement that, like, yeah, we've been gaslighting you for years.
This is a real program.
But trust us now.
Wasn't us.
It wasn't us, and we don't do that.
We don't do that anymore.
And we don't do that, except when we did that, which is now, and also we don't do that.
So since we don't do that, this investigation is over.
Yep, case closed.
Don't worry about it.
Bob, go send out the chemtrail planes.
And that is what you get when everybody around you will make excuses for you.
Oh, hey, what do you think about that Matthew Perry update?
Let's see.
I saw a little bit about it.
God, it just gets...
The darker the further you go.
First it's just him, then it's more suspicion, then a bunch of his friends are getting indicted.
Well, five people have been arrested.
Yeah, they actually went through with the arrests.
I was about to say, I've seen a few different things that said update on Matthew Perry, so I had to get some specifics.
Yeah, five people were arrested.
Two doctors and a live-in personal assistant to Perry are among the people charged in a months-long investigation into how the prescription drug, Ketamine, was procured and involved in the actor's death.
Five people, let's see.
So two are doctors and one live-in personal assistant.
But they're not talking about the other two.
And one hell of an endless rape party.
One, two, three, four, and five.
Okay, here they are.
Yeah, so anyone who knows the story, Matthew Perry was found dead in his hot tub.
I forget the date.
Everyone thought it was just a suicide or an accidental death, and then comes out later.
We were all saying it, like, that's not a fucking accidental death.
There's something really fucking weird here.
I mean, what I'm hearing here was he was not depressed.
He just partied too much.
Yes. Essentially.
And so Jazveen Sanga, 41, she is known as the Ketamine Queen.
The North Hollywood woman was charged with one count of conspiracy to distribute ketamine, one count of maintaining a drug-involved premises, one count of possession with intent to distribute methamphetamine, and one count of possession with intent to distribute ketamine, and five counts of distributing ketamine according to the indictment.
That's the most California of laws.
Your residence is guilty of drugs.
This house is guilty!
Oh yeah, you're not a drug dealer.
This is just a drug house.
We're here to arrest the house.
Step away from the house, sir.
It's a house arrest.
The house is under arrest.
No more drugs, house!
Jasmin Sangha is accused of selling about 50 vials of the drug to the actor for $11,000.
Yeah, that's a whole lot more than you'd need to off yourself.
Essentially, either you partied it up too much or somebody sabotaged him is what I'm hearing.
Because there's no way that you would just keep taking that stuff if you were just simply depressed.
I mean, wouldn't you just take a whole bunch once?
What sense would it make to just keep taking it?
Yeah, there's so much more to that story that I'm sure that they would love us to stop talking about.
Yeah, no.
Let's keep talking about it.
There's more to it.
Every time the news gets updated.
Dr. Salvador Plasencia, 42, referred to as Dr. P. He was also arrested.
He was accused of injecting Perry with ketamine at his home on the 30th of September, and then leaving vials of ketamine syringes and injection instructions for Perry's assistant.
Placenda was charged with seven counts of distribution of ketamine and two counts of altering and falsifying documents or records relating to the federal investigation.
Well, what a shame.
He doesn't get a cool nickname like Stabby Jabby or something like the other gal did.
He's got Dr. P, dude.
Well, the other gal got Ketamine Queen.
I mean, I just feel like that's just a downgrade.
She was a big dealer of ketamine.
Everyone knew her as that.
She was like a raver lady, so she was always ketamine queen.
Wow, that's crazy.
The other guy is Dr. Cesar Chavez, 54, San Diego-based physician.
He admitted in a plea agreement that he sold ketamine to Plasencia.
Such a weird name.
Yeah, I was just thinking, wait, Dr. P, but he doesn't have a P in his name?
Where's the P come from?
Plasencia. Dr. Salvador Plasencia.
Oh, it is a P. Dr. P. That's his name.
I misheard it.
And so this other doctor, Dr. Cesar Chavez, is selling ketamine to that other doctor.
Oh, so there's more drug dealers.
Sorry. I'm getting the drug dealers mixed up because there's so many drug dealers in this story.
They're all drug dealers.
He also made false statements to a wholesale ketamine distributor and submitted a false prescription in the name of a former patient without that patient's knowledge or permission.
What the fuck?
He pleaded guilty to conspiracy to distribute ketamine in connection with Perry's death.
Chavez and Plasencia have known each other for years.
Yeah, that's why they're selling ketamine to each other.
I feel like the patient probably had some knowledge and gave permission here.
Except maybe when they got way too much.
But that really feels like some more the house is guilty talk.
Yeah, the house is guilty.
Don't forget that.
The Kenneth Iwamasa.
Kenneth Awamasa, 59. Perry's live-in personal assistant pleaded guilty to one-counter conspiracy to distribute ketamine-causing death.
He actually admitted to injecting Perry with ketamine without medical training.
But that other doctor left him a manual.
He left him a prescription injection manual.
So, this motherfucker performed multiple, several, several injections on the actor the day that he died.
So, there you go.
There's that.
Well, see, the problem is he didn't have him stay at a Holiday Inn Express along with giving him the manual.
That's where this all went to hell.
Yeah. You have to have that false sense of I know everything now before getting a manual will fix everything.
Manual will tell you everything.
He had medical training.
That is so crazy.
Like, you know, you're not a nurse, but here's an instruction manual.
And it's just like, don't you have to be a nurse to use this instruction manual?
Eric Fleming, the fifth guy in this fucking scenario, is 54 years old, and he's described as a drug dealer and acquaintance of Matthew Perry, and he admitted that he had received several vials of ketamine from Senga and distributed 50 vials of the drug to Iwamasa,
half of them four days before Perry's death.
Um, Eric Fleming pled guilty on...
August 8th to one count of conspiracy to distribute ketamine and one count of ketamine that resulted in death.
So, yeah, all five of them, in the raid that they performed at Senga's home, seized 1,000, just under 2,000 grams of methamphetamine pills, 79 bottles of liquid ketamine, 2,127 grams of pills suspected of being Xanax,
323 grams of a substance suspected of being psilocybin mushrooms, And 128 grams of suspected cocaine.
Why don't they just test the shit instead of just saying it's suspected?
Suspected cocaine.
Not hard.
I don't know.
Maybe it's really weak.
Maybe that's...
They're probably all just rubbing it on their gums and be like, yeah, that's cocaine.
Yeah, it's just like some random herb or some crap.
It's coke.
No need to test it.
They didn't check.
They're not going to because it's going to end up missing.
I mean, that could be it.
Suspected cocaine.
Sounds like they never bothered to check.
Alright, so Cricket, tell me.
Tell the listeners.
Tell us, Cricket.
Do you like scarves?
Honestly, I lose anything that's not attached to me.
I lose hats.
Anything that is not directly attached to my outfit, I can't manage to keep.
Well, a scarf you wrap around your neck.
Yeah, as soon as I put it down somewhere, I'll leave it.
You can just hear a dog drop a deuce in the yard, like, 20 feet away.
Over this big-ass wooden fence.
Solid fence.
I could hear that.
Nugget of poo.
Just drop.
That's how silent it was.
Nice. Very nice.
Nice, calm day.
And then out of nowhere, the old lady is suddenly right fucking next to me and gleefully says, hey, look at this!
So I'm like, I'm just like, holy fuck, what the fuck?
Jumped in all that shit.
I look over and she's holding the scarf that she needed and she's like, you know, 10 years ago, whatever.
She's like...
Look at this scarf I made!
You know, look at this!
I'm like, that's fucking amazing, babe!
Great work, you know?
Pretty nice scarf, you know?
She looks at me like I had put saran wrap on a toilet seat or something, right?
And she's like, no, this thing, it still fits me.
I'm like, I hope it does, you know?
It's a fucking scarf.
Like, yeah, it should still fit.
Yeah, I don't think your neck's really meant to keep growing throughout your life.
Hopefully not.
But let me tell you this.
Let me tell you a story about Isadora Duncan.
Now, this is a popular story.
A lot of you probably heard this one.
A famous American dancer from the booming 20s.
She loved scarves, right?
She would wear them everywhere she went.
From sunrise to sundown, you'd bet your scarfless ass that Isadora Duncan would have her neck nicely wrapped up.
One of her hundreds of favorite scarves.
All laid out for which one, you know, she would just lay them all out.
Which one she'd wear on which day.
If something came up without warning, she'd have scarf B. You know, plan B. Isadora Duncan was always ready for scarves.
And one of her most favorite scarves was this red scarf made from the dried cockneel beetle, which take about 70,000 of this beetle to produce one pound of red dye.
So how many cockneel beetles had to lose their lives so Isadora Duncan could have her favorite red scarf on this particular day?
Just how many?
Think about that.
Think about that for a moment.
A lot.
A lot.
So on this beautiful day in Nice, France...
Is it Nice?
I don't know.
Is it Nice, France?
I was trying to pronounce it back when they were announcing the Nice terrorist attack.
Yeah, that van running over everyone.
Yeah, all of the articles were kind of unintentionally hilarious.
Yeah, yeah.
So on this beautiful day in Nice, France...
Nice, France, whatever.
While riding in the passenger seat of a convertible that she had just purchased because she wanted to learn how to drive.
Very fun endeavor indeed.
And as she sat in the passenger seat wearing her longest red scarf, her favorite red scarf ever, the driver began to drive.
And as he did so, Isadora's scarf naturally blew backward in the winds, waving around.
And Cricket, what do you think happened?
Well, seeing as how this is...
An episode all about death.
The best and most fortunate things.
Her scarf blew back, way back, into the axle of the wheel, and it was too late.
Too late as the scarf wrapped around tightly around her neck and would be pulled out of the back of the car in a violent manner, which is where she was found dead from strangulation.
So let this be a warning to you, Cricket.
Don't wear scarves while you drive your favorite...
Classic convertible out of the ten you have stored in those garages.
The line from The Incredibles, the whole no capes thing comes to mind.
Their commentary on the hazard of capes kind of combines with all the horrible industrial accident stories I hear about people in business situations going to the industrial side and getting their ties stuck in gears.
Just having trailing or free-hanging clothing of any sort is a real potential hazard.
Especially if you've got Final Destination level luck.
I mean, she was learning how to drive and she wasn't even the one driving.
So you have that going too.
That's kind of fucked up.
But what's even more fucked up and probably just more crazy is like Isadora Duncan, she lost both of her children in a car accident when the car became submerged in the river Seine.
Seine? Seine?
Seine. Seine?
I hate these words.
Yeah, because that picture was seen on the scene.
Seen on the scene!
Yeah. It's only a pun in French.
So the car became submerged in the river scene, and they weren't able to get out, and so they drowned.
Both of her fucking kids.
And Isadora was yet to be in another two accidents, which both caused her extensive injuries.
And then, she had that final car ride, where she got fucking strangled by her goddamn scarf.
But it sounds like she should have stayed away from cars.
Obviously, they're not her friends.
I mean, I would definitely be reluctant to step in a car after they almost killed me twice.
That's some pretty awful luck with them.
Man, it almost feels like the cars have been plotting on her all along and finally managed to take her out.
Like they were just really incompetent planners.
Waiting for the right time.
Waiting for the right time.
Yeah. They needed the perfect opportunity.
And everyone blames the scarf, but it was the car all along.
It was the car all along.
It wasn't the scarf that did it.
We gotta properly blame our inanimate objects so we can have them arrested.
Rest that house!
Cricket, you like animals, right?
You're a big PETA donator, right?
You like to give half of every paycheck directly to PETA?
Is that what I'm hearing around the streets?
That's what I'm hearing.
Cricket gives half his paycheck to Peter.
All I hear on the streets and I'm walking down the cobbled stones.
Every year I rescue one cat and one dog and I hand 93% of them over to PETA since that's the part they're going to kill anyways.
So you're saving 7%?
I save that 7%.
You know, like buzz their hair off.
Be like, here, you know.
Alright, so tell me that.
What animals do you really have?
What do you really have?
What do you own?
What are you a pet owner of?
Pet parent?
Well, it's not my pet, but I have a cat who understands the natural order perfectly, and she adores her pet humans.
And sometimes she lets us go outside without her.
Cats are, yeah, they're a mysterious one, man.
Ruling from the indoor cat status, that's a really amazing thing.
She never gets to go outside and still is like, I'm in charge.
Damn, she has that house unlocked.
Fucking A, man.
So are you ever laying in bed at night just trying to sleep and you can't because you keep thinking you hear your precious little sprinkles over there off in some dark corner in the room just plotting to attack and rob you of everything that you have and possibly murder you just for the fun of it?
Not that you've been a bad pet parent or anything like that, it's just that it's an absolute psychopath of a cat.
Well, I mean, in all seriousness, if you died, they would just start eating you.
They would, man.
And I can't say that I wouldn't do the same.
I mean, if I could get out and eat something else, maybe.
But hey, if only the cat's there and I'm stuck.
Say, you're a big monkey guy, right?
You like monkeys?
I mean, in theory, they seem cute.
But you gotta keep in mind they're also...
Incredibly strong.
You have to remember that we are the weakest primates.
We trade a lot of our strength advantage for that intelligence and adaptability and dexterity.
But those things can rip you apart.
They will.
And they have.
And I covered that in a previous Animals Murdering Humans episode.
But I've got a monkey joke for you.
You ready for a monkey joke?
Alright, what you got?
What did the monkey say?
When it cut off its tail.
Alright. What is it?
It won't be long now!
Alright. Not good?
Not a good joke?
Yeah, I think the story is probably putting a damn joke a little bit.
Because I know what monkeys actually do.
If you didn't like monkeys before, you're definitely going to like monkeys after this.
So in New Delhi, India, there are over 30,000 wild and menacing rhesus macaques that are forming gangs and running loose all over New Delhi, just causing mayhem to levels never seen before.
And since 2015, there have been at least 15 deaths caused by these ragged and feral macaques.
These little guys are super vicious, super fast, and they're just super smart, which is a horrible combination to have to deal with.
These bastards will come out of nowhere in gangs of twelve or more just to rob you for whatever you've got and beat you up a little bit for the fun of it.
I mean, shit.
They're even bringing sticks to club people with that they don't hand over their wallets, their food, and their shoes.
This is no joke.
This is happening.
This is how it always starts, dude.
It's these small uprisings that eventually turn into large in-mass riots and pillaging and everything in between.
Spoils of war, as they say.
I mean, it's a grim reminder to people that apex predators don't actually rise thanks to warm hugs and smiles.
Well, check this out.
This is one of my worst nightmares.
In November of 2018, a young woman named Niha was in her house in Rancada, a small town on the outskirts of a place called Agra in India.
She wasn't alone, though.
Niha was breastfeeding her newborn infant who was just 12 days old.
Niha was laying there in the peace.
Like I was doing before my girlfriend came up with that scarf.
Scared the shit out of me.
Anyway, knee-haw, laying there in peace, just enjoying her day, when all of a sudden, the infant boy was literally snatched from her arms by a monkey who had broken into her house.
The monkey ran off with the 12-day-old infant and the mother lost sight of her son.
In a matter of no time, the neighbors were on the move.
They quickly spotted it and chased it down while it still had the infant in its grips.
They lost it again.
But found the blood-soaked infant on a terrace.
The tiny boy was rushed to the hospital, but it was too late.
A roosh, a 12-year-old boy, was dead.
What did it want there?
And then it just went ahead and dumped it.
What did it want to do?
It's so crazy.
I mean, killed the kids still.
Jeez. Well, 12 days old, man.
It probably just a couple hits on the head because it was just dragging it probably, right?
That's true.
Probably just the force of being pulled around at that speed was fatal.
Yeah. Yeah.
I've seen monkeys grab shit and run off.
They don't hold it in their arms.
They're not gentle about it, yeah?
No. Um, so the experts say that such extreme behavior is rare for these types of animals, but, uh, I disagree.
Less than one month earlier in a nearby town, a 74-year-old man was stoned to death by monkeys using bricks next to a construction site.
These monkeys stoned this man to death.
The man was scavenging for dry wood when one of these fucking gangs of monkeys started chucking these bricks at this guy from above, dude.
Rare. I mean, you wonder how many times the victims and whatnot simply disappear and don't get added to the numbers.
I mean, a lot of these attacks would be in pretty far-flung regions where somebody disappears and there's a blood trail.
Well, there might not even be a person going out to investigate to even notice that happened, let alone go look into what happened.
100%. Just like how there's 800,000 children go missing in America and the United States every year.
So it's like so many people in these small villages and remote parts of the world go missing.
They said that that last attack was the...
That was the third attack by the monkeys in that village in less than one week, dude.
That was the third attack in that one village in less than one week.
These little bastards are up to something.
World domination, perhaps, with the freaking squirrels.
Yeah, they gotta test the defenses and the response levels while they amass a horde.
Can't go too all out, or they might get eradicated.
You know, just have to pick off small populations as they grow in power.
But just wait until they start stealing our technology.
Oh, man.
Once they learn how to type, yeah, we're done.
Dude, wait until they learn how to shitpost.
They're just making memes.
Nah, you're stupid, bruh.
Monkeys ain't killing you.
Go answer your door.
There's something there for you.
These little suckers.
Oh, man.
This isn't looking good, Cricket.
It's not looking good.
We're doomed again.
We're doomed again, man.
Something else to worry about.
Another two monkeys were captured in India's Maharashtra state in 2021 under suspicion of murdering up to 250 puppies by carrying them to the tops of trees and rooftops before dropping them to their deaths,
dude. This is particularly brutal and disturbing.
Man, what the hell, bro?
And then earlier this year...
A monkey with a bounty of around $250 on its head, this thing had a bounty on its head, was caught after attacking 20 people in Madhya Pradesh over a two-week period.
It's all in India.
And that reminds me of that situation in Africa.
It's called the Sabo Maneaters, where just two massive lions went around and killed as many as 135 people in Kenya, I think, in just the year 1898 alone.
Books have been written.
And that movie starring Val Kilmer was made in 1996, Ghost and the Darkness.
That was a pretty good movie.
I did love that movie.
So intense.
And of course, it really made it theatrical, the danger of having people get pulled away in the middle of the night, day after day.
Yeah, dude.
It was pretty suspenseful.
And, like, once you realize that it was based on, like, a real story and, like, 135 people were killed in, like, one year, dude.
These two lions?
Oh, that's scary.
I mean, that thing really worked.
Who else was in that?
Michael Douglas, I believe?
I think so.
Oh, yeah.
I do believe so.
He played the...
Didn't he play the other guy?
The one who, like...
I think it was, like, a general.
Yeah, the guy who came in from the outside to try to deal with it.
Yeah, I think that was Val Kilmer's...
Or no, he was the other dude.
The grizzle guy who was already there.
I'm trying to remember which one.
Yeah, he was the guy that was already there to build the train tracks or whatever.
Oh yeah, and then Val Kilmer was the general who was sent in to deal with it.
Yeah. Like, bro, man, these lions are just taking us out, dude.
Left and right, 135.
And they go out there and they start, like, going through the fields and they're just finding bodies of people that these lions just ate, just skeletons left.
It's crazy, dude.
Yeah, lions, they're not exactly merciful once they get a hold of you.
I mean, I guess at least they don't, at least, you know, it could be worse.
It could be, like, the smaller cats and, like, mess with you.
Just toy with you and shit.
And monkeys aren't exactly a danger yet unless we got pets escaping or something.
But we do have a lot to fear from what I have always lovingly called the rats of the forest, the most aggravating species.
Deer are a menace.
They strike at humanity to test our defenses.
They powerbomb our cars to destroy our mobility.
And then when we think we've got them weakened and down, they turn around and kill us.
Yes, I found, well, yet another article where a deer gored somebody.
To death, after he thought he downed it and killed it.
Because, of course.
Of course he killed it.
Because, of course, he let his guard down amongst the most menacing creature in the forest.
Thinking, oh, this is just a game animal.
And it freaking murdered his ass.
This happened down in Arkansas.
The guy shot him up in a blind, went down to check it out.
Deer got up, gored him multiple times, and get this, the deer escaped.
They never found it.
See? So there's a murderous deer on the...
Damn. Yeah, this was seven or eight years ago.
Hopefully someone's caught and taken out that deer by now, but I can't assure you of anything.
For all I know, it's menacing people to this day.
It probably is.
And that's not even counting all of the other unintentional deer kills that we get.
Statistically speaking, deer kill more people in North America than any other animal.
Really? More than bears, more than mountain lions.
Deer kill 120 people a year.
Mostly car crashes, of course, but the occasional attack, too.
Most of the unprovoked attacks, people generally survive.
It's usually when they think they've got the deer downed and are in a really vulnerable state.
That's usually when they actually die from it.
Dude. You just gotta make sure that you never trust the bastards.
Those things get you with the hooves.
Those hooves will fuck you up!
Oh yeah.
Hey man, deer are nothing to fuck with, dude.
You see that picture of an elk?
And it actually had another set of antlers in its antlers because it had killed a different elk.
And for years, it took forever for that other dead elk to finally just rot away.
And so this elk...
Finally was able to just fucking stand upright and walk, but it's got the other dead elk's antlers in its antlers, dude!
That's insane!
I mean, it shows you how vicious they are.
Between zombie deer and taking out your cars...
Fucking dude!
How long?
Like, think about that.
If this elk has another elk in its antlers, like, how did that thing walk around and survive for so long?
It just got really used to carrying around the trophy of its fish.
Do you think maybe, like...
It's a hell of a trophy.
It says dragging like its head would be down on the ground, dragging this thing forever.
So other animals probably came up and scavenged the dead elk that was attached to it.
And then finally, enough weight was taken off of it that the elk could finally move around, right?
Yeah, I imagine they would just pick at it.
Yeah. Like a bear would come up, a couple bears come up, and that live elk is like, oh, fuck.
But the bears just eat the dead elk while the live elk is like, oh god, don't eat me.
Please don't eat me.
Please don't eat me.
The bear's like, dude, we're not even worried about you, man.
We got this thing right here.
Yes. Never forget the hidden danger of non-predatory animals.
Like, you always think the ones that, you know, just overtly eat meat are the ones that are going to get you.
But what the story kind of demonstrates is that pretty much anything that has a natural form of defense can and probably will kill you given the proper circumstances.
So don't screw with nature.
Nature's bigger and stronger than you at all times.
You evolved adaptability to realize that you shouldn't go fuck with nature.
Don't fuck with nature.
Just wait for the invasion of frogs.
Just think about that when frogs start killing people.
Then we know we have a problem.
Just wait for the deer to start massing up and trying to attack you at your house.
Take them out from a defensive position where you have the advantage.
There you go.
That's how you defeat them.
This just seems like all the animals, all the animals are going to uprise.
Squirrels, monkeys, everything, man.
Because we've clearly been squandering our apex status.
They're just going to uprise and kill us all, man.
But this is pretty crazy right here.
For the first time.
In 2021, chimpanzees were observed carrying out a lethal attack on gorillas in the wild.
Dozens of chimps encroached upon the gorilla's home where there were a couple of newborns, and the chimps were able to get the gorillas away from the newborns, and they proceeded to viciously throw the newborn's bodies and hit them against the ground.
So that's probably what that other monkey did to that fucking newborn kid, you know what I mean?
The experts said that their observations provide the first evidence that chimpanzees can kill gorillas.
But these are baby gorillas.
So vulnerable gorillas.
So very vulnerable gorillas.
Probably not a big ol' fuckin' silverback.
You know, I don't think they're gonna be killing a silverback anytime soon.
Well, they could probably if there were enough of them.
I don't know.
I guess we'll wait and see.
They just need the numbers.
Yeah. It is all about numbers.
They said it was pretty weird, though, these experts, because previously to the attack, both animal groups were just chilling in their respective parties, just like eating fleas from each other's backs and shit.
And the experts said that there weren't any issues at all.
It was a great day.
They're all just chilling.
Everyone was just having a decent day, and then all of a sudden, pure madness erupted, which prompted the experts to pat each other on their backs and consider it a hard day's work.
And a job well done.
They were all having a party.
And then somebody just happens to say the wrong thing.
It all goes to throwing shit and suddenly gorillas are dying.
I mean, was there just some kind of change in the atmosphere or something?
What the hell?
I don't know, man.
These experts were just chilling there like, let's watch this dude.
Oh shit, man!
That's the first time chimpanzees ever killed a gorilla, man!
That's the first time!
Right there!
Everyone's like, oh shit, that is the first time.
I'm an expert!
Interesting. And then they all flipped their dicks out and tapped each other's penises together.
Job well done.
Scientific observation.
Animals are murderous bastards.
Alright, so I have a lovely story of animal mortal combat that I'm not terribly happy to have learned.
Okay, so I had an acquaintance, not necessarily a friend, but a...
Friend of someone else I knew.
Who had two pets.
A pet mouse and a pet spider.
And he got sick of feeding them and decided to play God with them instead.
So he put the mouse into the pen with the spider and quit feeding both to see how long it would take essentially to get the...
Spider to eat the mouse.
He was curious how many days of starvation it would take before it was desperate enough to attack something that big.
What kind of spider was this?
Oh, it was a tarantula.
A pretty large-sized spider.
Wow. Big enough that it could feasibly eat a mouse over time.
He decided on this plan probably due to sociopathy and a really...
Terrible disregard for any sanctity of life whatsoever.
But the experiment lasted, I think, three or four days.
He waited, and then he woke up one day to actually find the spider dead, and that the mouse had actually taken the initiative and killed the spider, and it was eating the last bits of it.
There was pieces of its legs sticking out of its mouth and stuff, and it was punching down on it.
Oh, so gross, dude.
Yeah, apparently while he was sleeping, the mouse had overpowered the thing, eaten the majority of it alive.
And then he said about another half hour later, the mouse started turning a horrible sickly green color and died probably due to God knows how much venom ingestion, along with probably getting stung dozens of times.
What kind of tarantula was this?
Oh, I'm not really sure what kind of tarantula.
I'm not...
Yeah, I wasn't really sure.
I guess usually it's not fatal to a human, but you're not talking about taking the whole venom sack.
True, and this little mouse ate the whole venom sack.
Yeah, and we're not talking a very big mouse.
A mouse that he was feasibly looking at being eaten by the spider.
Just a little house mouse.
Yeah, so we're talking like the little white mouse he used in experiments and shiz.
Exactly, the science experiment mouse.
So, yeah, but the thing ate something that was probably as big as it was and then died.
So, you know, double KO.
And it's like, I wanted to doubt the story because it was just so awful, but at the same time I had to tell myself, this is not a story someone tells you because they want you to think more of them.
No, they're telling you something crazy they did.
So, I don't think it was made up.
Yeah, they're telling you something messed up that you did, and it's like, I don't necessarily even think it was a brag.
It was more like, here's the fucked up thing I did years ago.
Yeah, I've never done something like that.
I had a fucking rosy hair.
I had a rosy hair from Argentina or Chile.
I had it for, I don't know, a while, like a year or so, a couple years maybe.
That thing was chill, man.
Her name was Cuddles, and she would crawl around, and you could let her crawl on you all over the place, and some friends would let her crawl on their faces.
I would never let her crawl on my face, but sometimes I would get really freaked out.
Her fangs were big.
They were inch-long fangs.
No joke.
If she wanted to bite you, that she would hurt.
And the thing was as big as your hand, right?
And had a little cage here.
And the only thing I'd feed is crickets.
And it would only eat like once every fucking couple weeks or something.
Yeah, really.
I don't know.
I don't know.
But I would never have given it a mouse.
Yeah, I don't think he necessarily gave it the mouse to feed it.
I think he just gave it because he wanted to play deadly.
Play a little real life deadly creatures.
Just see what would happen.
See which one was the apex species in the end and would win.
I mean, I've done that sort of thing.
When I was a kid, I would collect spiders, like, different house spiders and stuff I'd find under rocks or whatever, little fucking weird bugs, and put them all in a cup or whatever, a bottle, and see what would win, even a hornet.
Did I deal with a hornet once?
Or, I don't know what it was, a hornet or something, I don't know.
Yellowjacket. But, uh, it fucking killed a few spiders, dude.
The spiders had no chance.
This hornet thing was just like, killing them.
Fucking took them all out, dude.
Wow. Yeah, I think I killed the Hornet.
I think I let it go since it won.
Well, I mean, you get it.
You fucking won.
The Hornet was the victor in the gladiatorial challenge.
Yeah. I thought it wasn't sadistic and shit like that.
Yeah, I do believe this story was from teenage years.
At least I was hoping so when I heard it.
I was like, this was years ago, right?
It's like, oh yeah, it was years ago.
Yeah, it's like, no, I was just last week, dude.
Yeah, I'd be a little more worried if it was like, oh no, I'm actually just cleaning out the cage now.
Yeah, I'm just making room.
I'm trying to make room.
Just figured I'd talk about it since I was just cleaning it.
That's why, man, I don't like...
People who raise snakes.
I don't like snake people because they feed snakes mice all the time.
It's like, man, you go to the store and you buy a bunch of mice just to go feed it to a fucking snake?
Yep. I don't know.
Not my thing.
I'm against that.
I don't like that at all.
Yeah, I was never fond of having pet snakes just because they always felt gross to me.
Not a snake guy.
I would have a hard time feeding them the mice.
I'd feel so bad because I'd force the mouse to die.
Yeah, dude.
Like, mice are cool as fuck.
Like, they're annoying as fuck, and they're dirty and filthy, but like, you know, it's a mouse.
It's just a little innocent little fucking mouse.
It's all furry and cute and shit.
You want to feed that to a fucking nasty-ass reptile that'll fucking kill you if it had the chance?
Like, damn, dude.
I mean, a lot of them, the whole reason they don't is because you're just simply too big for them to consider food.
You get a large enough one, they'll consider you food.
But up until then, you're just a...
You're just a creature that's too big to ingest, so not to be messed with.
When I was a little kid, I would walk in the woods all the time because we just grew up pretty much in a forest.
There were train tracks pretty nearby, but I was walking and I found this snake in the woods, dude.
We had gardener snakes everywhere, right?
Just the typical little gardener snakes.
But I found this one, dude.
You know what a coral snake looks like?
Those red and yellow and black striped ones?
Oh, yeah.
The super poisonous ones, but they don't tend to bite.
Super poisonous ones.
So I found one of those, and they are not in this area at all.
They're not supposed to be here at all.
And there's another snake that looks just like it, so it's not it, but it looks just like it, but it's still poisonous.
But I found one of these fucking things, and I picked it up behind the head, and I was like, wow, it's fucking colorful.
Never seen one, dude, and I've seen tons of snakes.
And so I brought it to my dad and he was like, oh my god!
And he grabbed it really quick and threw it on the ground and took a fucking hatchet and cut its head off really quick.
He's like, don't get near those ones!
And I'm like, what?
What is that thing?
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Other than like the black mamba, I think they have the deadliest venom in the world.
Coral snakes.
Second only to the mamba.
And it's really just more so that the mambas are more prone to biting.
Well, what's the one in Vietnam that they would always say if the two-step...
Oh, I'm trying to think.
...step something?
Is it a viper, maybe?
A pip viper?
But they said that if you got bit by one of these things, you're taking only two steps and you're going down.
I'm trying to remember.
Oh, I don't remember what that one was.
I've heard the story.
I just can't remember what the snake was.
I can't remember.
Let me ask you this, Cricket.
All right.
Let me ask you this.
You ready?
Can I ask you a question?
I avoid it at all costs.
Do you like to shave?
I mean, generally I just trim the beard, but if I actually do shave it off, because I get tired of it once in a while.
What do you use?
Do you use the Gillette 5 blade, Dollar Shave 8 blade, Schicks 14 blade, Venus 26 blade, or do you do it the right way?
The straight razor.
I go with the amazing products of not Dollar Shave Club, but the Dollar Store.
Everything Dollar Store.
Nice bottle of Dollar Store Barbasol.
A nice pack of razors that you should definitely never use more than once because those things go dull as hell as you're shaving.
You might even go through two if your beard gets long enough in just one shave.
But what the hell did a dollar throw them out?
Yeah. The old Dollar Store single blade.
Can't go wrong.
As in ever with the single blade.
I've had the same one for 11 years.
But speaking of the straight razor, there is this famous story about a guy who has dared to shave his balls with a straight razor, but every time he was asked if he'd do it again, he would always say, I haven't got the balls.
Oh, I've never tried to use a straight razor.
You need to do it right the first time.
You gotta do it right.
I was always too scared I'd screw it up and just end up cutting the hell out of my neck with it.
And I do not trust another person with a razor around my throat.
Or my balls.
Yeah, I'd be like giving myself a beard trim by Sweeney Todd.
It would end gruesome.
No thanks, dude.
No thank you.
But check this next story I have.
This is pretty nuts.
It's about razor blades.
A U.S. congressman.
Michael F. Farley died after he shaved with a razor blade that had been infected with anthrax.
As the story goes, he was giving himself a shave on October 6th, 1921, and the next day he noticed that there was just this little pimple-like growth that looked a little infected that was on his chin and on his neck.
He thought nothing of it despite his friend being concerned, and then three days later, Michael's face had become so swollen that he could barely talk.
So that's when he ran to the hospital in his suspenders holding up his oversized fleece suit where he was promptly diagnosed with anthrax.
Within seven hours, Michael Farley was dead.
It has been widely suspected that there was no foul play and that somehow his razor had become contaminated with baculis anthracis, which they say comes mostly from wild or domestic animals.
They also say you can get it in soil.
I don't know, man.
I don't know.
I mean, I know anthrax does naturally exist, but I can't imagine it to be very common in Washington, D.C., and then for this random U.S. congressman in Woodrow Wilson's administration who was not liked at all by the more powerful members of the political circus.
So, they say there's nothing to be suspicious about.
But I'm sure if someone dug into it, they'd find that somebody wanted him dead.
Oh, come on.
It's been widely suspected that there was no foul play.
That sounds like such an official storyline right there.
Oh, yeah.
I would say that someone was likely at least not sad he had this mishap.
At the very least, it was a very happy accident.
Oh, dude.
To be very generous.
Yeah, no kidding, man.
People were all just like...
Oops, you died.
Very sad.
Why are we celebrating it?
That's awful!
Yeah, that's a...
That's a oops, but also yay kind of moment right there.
People were happy.
People were fucking happy.
I just think it's funny that they say widely suspected that there was no foul play.
I feel like it was widely suspected that there was, and you shut people the hell up.
Yeah. He was murdered, dude.
He was murdered.
For sure.
Michael Farley.
So much that it's a lethal dose from a single shave with it, too.
That's a good bit of it applied.
Poor fella, dude.
That must have been horrible.
I've seen some pictures of what happens with anthrax.
I've read into that shit.
That's like, ooh, man.
Because we're going to get into the anthrax attack.
Remember all that shit?
In New York, I believe.
The whole, you die now?
Are you afraid?
All those great messages that they sent in those creepy little boxes.
Or no, in the envelopes.
That's what it was.
And they'd send a letter, and then the letter came with a powder.
In 2001?
Yeah, that was a really nasty story.
Like, a few people died before they...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, if I remember right, a couple people actually died before they figured out what was going on and started intercepting them.
Five people died.
Yeah, the first person actually got...
Injured 17. If I remember right.
Oh, yeah, because a few times they would intercept it and then people would get partially infected or contaminated just dealing with the letters and stuff.
Dude, it was so crazy.
It happened in 2001, right?
And it was known as the Amerithrax.
And it occurred in the United States over the course of several weeks, beginning on September 18th, 2001, one week after 9-11.
Yeah, that's pretty nuts, dude.
Yeah, they were mailing out letters.
Seem like kind of an intimidation program to get everybody on board with the war on terror.
Yeah. Like, see?
See, look how scary this is.
See? Now they're sending scary letters of death powder.
Yeah, they were sending letters to senators, U.S. senators and congressmen, Capitol police officers.
Yeah. Doesn't that just make you want to shut your neighbor up about criticizing the war?
Doesn't that make you want to just ask no questions about this?
And be scared now.
Yep, that was very effective.
Yeah, and the fucked up thing in the investigation, over 9,000 people were interviewed, 67 searches, 6,000 subpoenas, hundreds of FBI personnel worked on the case at the outset struggling to discern whether the September 11th Al-Qaeda, whether the bullshit narrative of September 11th and the Anthrax murders were connected before concluding that they were not.
In September 2006, there were still 17 FBI agents and 10 postal inspectors assigned to the case, including FBI agent C. Frank Figliozzi, who was the on-scene commander of the evidence recovery efforts.
But the FBI and Center for Disease Control and Prevention both gave permission for Iowa State University to destroy the Iowa Anthrax Archive, and the archive was destroyed on October 10th.
And 11th of 2001.
Well, that sure keeps everybody safe from prosecution.
So, the investigation...
Yep. The investigation, pretty much...
Yeah, they were like, no, just destroy all the evidence.
Cover it up.
They literally did.
That's all been confirmed.
The FBI stepped in and just destroyed the evidence.
Yet, they exist, and the federal government still...
In power.
I hate that shit.
I don't like that at all.
Well, why do you think they got a new building for doing shit like that?
Yeah. Ain't for helping you or me.
For helping the machine.
Fuck no, man.
Yeah, I've never been fond of shaving.
So that's yet another reason to just tell people, just stay away from shaving.
Just wax.
Of course, you know, you can die from about anything, really.
That's true.
I mean, talking of pastimes I actually do love, I decided to look up if anybody had actually died of gaming.
I'd heard about the...
I think it was a Korean kid who died of gaming at a...
There have been a few.
Yeah, it was an internet cafe or something.
But now apparently there's a bunch more.
That one was StarCraft.
It's become a more dangerous pastime than I ever imagined.
Here's a 40-hour DeLobulo 3 binge that they blame for the death of this 18-year-old.
You are frozen.
Wait, I'm frozen?
Can you hear me?
You're back now.
That was a huge skippy-do-do.
I don't know.
Restart a little bit.
Okay, I'll just start from the...
From... Did I get...
Just wherever.
I can stitch it.
All right.
Anyhow, quite a few people have died whilst gaming.
It's way more dangerous than I ever thought.
I mean, I remember looking up, I think it was a Taiwanese or Korean kid or something that died playing StarCraft, but that's just the first of a bunch of them.
None of them.
I mean, I feel like it's, yeah, here's a pro tip.
Don't play video games so much that you die.
Moderation. This could save your life.
Yeah, if you see a bright light at the end of a tunnel, it's probably a good time to log off.
God damn it.
You froze again.
Frozen. Son of a bitch.
Is it working again?
You're frozen.
Fucking hell.
Let me just close all externals.
Reconnecting. Okay.
Okay, so we were at the people die in a gaming thing, right?
Yeah, just start telling the story.
I think that's exactly where it's at.
Okay, so people dying playing video games.
Attempt number three.
Pretty much all these stories are really a matter of exposure, but it just boggles my mind that you can die doing leisure.
Like, you can actually play too hard and die.
The game's so hard, I died.
There's this 18-year-old Chinese gamer, identified only as Chuang, died after 40 hours of Diablo 3. I guess he had a private room in an internet cafe in southern Taiwan and played it for two straight days without eating.
This is the one that actually first got my attention, that this could be a thing.
But yeah, an entire workweek's worth of gaming, and then 40 hours continuously the last two days.
We're talking, yeah, to almost continuous gaming for two straight days.
And then he collapsed after passing out.
He woke up again and was pronounced dead at the hospital after collapsing when he got woken up by a random person who was asking him what the hell happened.
But wait.
And there was also another one in India where a kid collapsed after I think it was 23 hours of gaming or something.
Some kind of heart failure from Basically overstimulating themselves continuously.
Unfortunately, to read more about it, they wanted me to subscribe, so I couldn't look up much more on that one.
Oh, fuck all that.
I've heard a bunch of these stories where they pretty much overdose on energy drinks and lack of sleep.
Yeah, it's sleep deprivation, a lot of times stimulants are involved, and lack of food.
This last one is, uh, was, it came from Russia.
Teen gamer dies after playing computer for 22 days in a row.
I guess he was playing defense of the ancients.
Cause that's the key thing.
Never heard of it.
This guy played Defense of the Ancients.
You know, it's very important.
That this be mentioned, because, I mean, if you're going to be dedicated enough to a game to die playing it, you were probably a freaking fan.
So, it's important that people know what you died playing.
I guess, yeah.
But yeah, I guess he played almost continuously, had put in over 2,000 hours playing in the last year and a half, which, rookie hours.
But at the same time, I guess he went into this binge after breaking his leg.
Playing up to six and a half hours a day cumulatively, but progressively more and more.
Six and a half hours is averaged out over the 22 days.
It was longer and longer sessions until he died.
I don't get it.
Has that ever happened to you?
Dying of playing games?
Have you just gotten glued to a game?
I've been addicted enough to a game to play it for a straight day.
When Zelda 64 came out originally, the Ocarina of Time, Played it for a straight day, going almost all the way through the game.
I think I...
Yeah, I mean, that's pretty normal.
Like, one day, yeah.
Like, I think most gamers...
I think the last third of my night was spent in the Water Temple.
That's where I finally gave up and decided, screw it, I'll come back the next day.
But that's just because everyone gives up on the Water Temple.
I got hooked with GTA and Resident Evil.
That's what got me hooked on stuff.
I'd play those games.
For a full day, of course.
Growing up as children, we all do that.
When we get a new video game for Christmas or our birthdays, we are in our rooms playing that game for hours on end, drinking soda pop, eating some snacks.
That's the disturbing thing about this last one, is this is not an abnormal amount of gaming.
Six and a half hours a day for a week.
I mean, that's pretty much somebody takes a vacation, they don't got anywhere to go, and they love games.
You could totally knock that out.
I feel like the standard gaming schedule.
Yeah, that just seems like a gamer who has a vacation and nowhere to go.
Fuck. So, yeah, game responsibly and don't head towards the light.
It is a secret warp zone, but you don't want to go there.
You don't want to go toward the light?
Well, not until it's time.
Not until it's time, yeah.
Yeah. That's just the kitchen light.
Although, I mean, if you're...
If you're putting yourself through the extremes where you're dying from gaming, I mean, maybe it was your time.
Hard to say it wasn't.
It was something so crazy happening to you and unlikely.
I mean, it's something you enjoy doing.
That's the best you can do.
That's true.
I mean, you did die while you love.
I mean, there could be a lot worse things that happen to you that kill you.
Yeah, like getting ripped apart by monkeys, dude.
Yeah, in the end, you got to die on your own terms doing what you wanted.
It's probably a little bit better than this next guy.
Tell me, man.
What are your thoughts on the old segue?
Are you a big fan of not walking from point A to point B?
Or do you like to be as lazy as humanly possible while still functioning in society?
You want all the laziness of motorized transport, none of the comfort of sitting down, and all the emasculation?
And piss a lot of people off.
It's the perfect piece of art.
Did you ever hear about why the Segway was in therapy?
The therapist told it to find itself and it found out it was a Segway.
No. No.
No, but my first thought was that it had to do with vehicular manslaughter.
You know what I mean?
But, you know, the Segway was in therapy because it was just trying to find balance in life.
If only we all had an internal gyroscope for that.
Yes. Yes.
Alright, so this is a pretty well-known story, but were you familiar that James William Jimmy Hesselden, the guy who owns Segway Inc., he was murdered by his own Segway?
But what was the motive?
It's only two tires away from a car.
About one year after he became the owner of the company, on September 26, 2010, Asseldon was riding his beloved Segway scooter on a footpath that is above the River Wharf near Boston Spa in West Yorkshire.
Now, really quick, one point on that.
He's on a footpath.
Footpath, right?
He's riding a scooter on a footpath.
Okay, just keep that in mind.
So as the story goes, he put a Segway into reverse in order to make room for a dog walker to go through the path, the footpath.
But he misjudged the distance between himself and the edge of the cliff that gouges the landscape behind him.
So Jimmy fell 42 feet down a cliff, hitting parts on the way down, and was found dead by authorities later that same day.
A post-mortem examination concluded that Mr. Selden suffered multiple blunt force injuries of the chest and spine consistent with a fall whilst riding a gyro bike.
And he was only 62 years old.
So I think on his way down, the fucking Segway was like, boom, boom, boom!
Give him a few fucking, you know, sucker punches.
Well, the Segway had to get its licks in.
I mean, from what I'm hearing, the Segway had a real beef with this guy and had probably been plotting on him since it had been created.
It was just waiting for the ideal opportunity.
But the really important thing to me is I need to know if the Segway was ever apprehended and if the trial was swift and just because...
They need to get this menace off the streets.
It's like a dozen deer.
It is.
And it did get away.
It is on the run.
See? See?
The truly evil never get punished like murderous segues.
It is plotting for its next fucking murder victim.
And it was really pissed that it was on a footpath.
It was like, bro, you're riding me on a footpath, you son of a bitch.
This is the moment.
This is it.
It's got dirt in its little fenders.
Yeah, the thought to itself, you're supposed to be walking here.
Well, then, if you think about it, it was probably a build-up.
He'd probably gone on that same foot fast, disrespecting the poor Segway for months on end, and it had finally gotten fed up and was tired of his shit.
Went in reverse off a cliff and took a few sucker punches on the way down, man.
Damn, gyro bike!
Yeah, well, I mean, the Segway threw him off the cliff and beat him to death.
I'm like...
That's a serious level of enmity for an inanimate object to have for you.
Yeah, man.
Like, holy shit.
Segway hated you.
So here's another incredibly unlikely means of dying, considering everything I read about it is that it usually improves your health and keeps you from it.
Have you ever heard of dying of meditation?
Because I sure haven't.
Until now.
I've heard of monks who literally meditate until they die.
That's intentional.
So what you got?
I have got a meditation killing you story.
I thought you were going to say a manual.
I have a meditation killing manual.
Well, I mean, if you needed a meditation killing manual, the two people who died in this story more than likely wrote it.
So if you manage to somehow screw up meditation so, so badly that rather than achieving oneness, you achieve a permanent out-of-body experience, well, we'll just say that you probably shouldn't have been doing it in that
situation. There's certain places where you maybe shouldn't be meditating and putting yourself at risk, like next to a cliff or in this case, underwater.
Underwater! Yes.
Okay, I've never heard about meditation underwater.
That's ridiculous.
Yeah, you know, achieve oneness through asphyxiation.
Sounds lovely.
Now it looks like a psychedelic PSA here.
Meditation is an altered state of consciousness.
It does not mix well with potentially deadly situations.
Alright, getting into the manual now.
Alright, so into the manual.
This Sacramento yoga instructor was practicing something called the Wim Hof breathing technique.
Apparently, in a process of achieving deep relaxation, he was holding his breath and trying to hyperventilate because it relaxed him.
His girlfriend, Sarah Esterbrook, said, I'll just say that I didn't say that this would relax him.
His girlfriend did.
When she last saw him alive, he was sitting in a pool at Asha Urban Baths with his head and shoulders above water.
He lost consciousness and drowned while performing the breathing practices, she said.
He died in the hospital on July 23rd.
So they don't fully submerge themselves.
They just sit in water with their head above water and they meditate.
Here's the thing.
The first person was sitting in water and then he was holding his breath and trying to hyperventilate and he fainted and went underwater.
But this next guy...
Was meditating face down in the Yuba River.
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, so yeah, the quote from the City Parks Assistant Director is, people who challenge themselves to breath-holding often don't realize that they're in trouble until it's too late.
Yes. That really feels like an understatement.
Literally two people have died.
Because they just decided they are far too smart to do things like come up for air or meditate in a place where I won't drown if I pass out.
That's ridiculous.
That's like those sensory deprivation tanks, man.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I mean, if you want to go full sensory deprivation, there's not much more sensory depth than your soul leaving.
Quote, they're just in this kind of, they're just kind of in this state of euphoria or whatever.
He's the person who's trying to ban this practice said there's some changes in their system and they don't recognize they're in danger.
They basically.
Well, so...
Lesson learned.
Yeah, don't meditate where you can drown.
Next to cliffs, overactive volcanoes, inside of burning buildings, those are probably also bad places to meditate if you're wondering about any other potential danger zones.
Inside of burning buildings.
A sinking ship?
Yeah, active...
You know, active fire fields with people shooting back and forth at each other.
Probably not a time to seek oneness.
I think the only time, like maybe on a plane as it's crashing, you know, as it's going down, that's the time where it's appropriate.
Well, in that case, you're ascending either way.
You just want to ease the ride.
Yes. My god.
My god.
Well, those are just great stories, dude.
Dying from playing and chilling now.
I can't imagine a less dangerous thing to die from.
I mean, people die in the showers.
Elvis died at the toilet for some mysterious reasons.
Ironically, I did not find a single instance of death from a superficial wound to the ear because I was totally going to bring it to riff on the assassination attempt memes.
And I couldn't find a single one.
No one has died from being shot in the ear.
Not from superficial injuries, at least.
Superficial injuries.
A scratch.
I read a few where people got their ears lopped off and they died of infections and stuff.
Oh, yeah.
But minor wounds.
Because I have read stories of people dying of minor wounds in some other places, like in your arms or in your mouth, places where you can potentially get infected.
But the ear is just up and away from the body so much that it doesn't really tend to get infected very often.
Yeah. So this next one.
This next story comes from an article by the Toronto Star.
It is titled Falling Helicopter Killed Student from Kenya and dated May 14, 2008 and the incident took place in Cranbrook, BC, Canada.
Shout out to our listeners in Cranbrook.
Alright, so listen to this.
This is the author's subtitle to this article.
Isaiah Otieno Stood Out from the Crowd.
Now, I'm not sure how I should feel about this, because Isaiah Otayono, the victim here, was just under 7 feet tall from Kenya, Africa.
This guy's huge.
Certainly the tallest person in Cranbrook.
So yeah, he definitely stood out from the crowd.
And it's just a little ironic, because the tallest guy walking around the streets that day just so happened to be the only victim.
After a freaking helicopter fell out of the sky.
I mean, I definitely feel singled out if out of all the people, the helicopter just happened to pick me.
And then, of course, because I'm tall, they have to put in my article about dying that I stood out from the crowd.
I'm like, my God, you just...
The local news just loves their puns.
Like I said, that guy had to have been waiting for that one.
Oh, yeah.
That editor was like, yes!
My time to shine!
Also, it's kind of funny how the indefinite language of the title kind of makes it sound like the helicopter came all the way from Kenya to take him out.
Like, it was on a combat mission to strike him down from his native country.
It hunted him down from all the way back.
It didn't even have a pilot.
Yeah, the following helicopter killed a student from Kenya.
It flew all the way here autonomously and crashed on him.
Been looking for him for months.
For months, I've been trying to track him down.
Since we're going to ascribe motivations to inanimate objects, like the Sinister Segway.
Exactly. And you said you'd feel singled out.
Well, at least you don't feel shingled out.
You know what I mean?
Shingles? Monkeypox?
Oh, yeah.
I've been seeing all of the shingles memes.
Yeah. And my personal favorite, where somebody's like, this is what monkeypox can do to you.
Just kidding, this is a C19 vax side effect.
Yeah, just a little bit ago, before we started recording, I saw something saying that the monkeypox vaccine is an active viral agent, and the person that gets a vaccine will be protected, but they pass it on to the people who are not protected by the vaccine.
That doesn't sound sinister to tell or anything.
Yeah, it kind of reminds me of that article I saw the other day, which I can't believe this was dated 2021 and I never saw this, that said, yes, the mRNA does change your DNA a little bit, and that's a good thing.
I mean, boy, that's just rubbing in your nose.
I mean, that's just rubbing in your nose, like, pretty much.
We're performing genetic experiments on you.
Be happy about this.
This is not a good thing.
They are trying to change our genetic code from God that was given to us, and they want to change that.
They want to change everything about us.
Transhumanism, man.
Makes you more pliable for implants and augments if you got a few extra genes that say, hey, maybe I might be open for some odds.
A guy named Isaac Hockley took some photographs from the local paper, but didn't realize at the time that his close friend Isaiah was one of the four badly charred bodies under police tarps.
I mean, technically, that means he wasn't actually singled out, because three other people were nice enough to die with him.
Hey, I think those are three people in the helicopters.
Oh, well, there you go.
Okay, maybe he was singled out then.
Yeah. When I was reading that, I was thinking, like, was they all in the helicopter?
Or was they not mentioning another victim?
Well, that makes sense then.
So, Isaiah was walking on the street, just...
Dude, going to do whatever, because he was a college student.
And yeah, he's just going, hanging out, doing something, and that happens.
But Isaac, the photographer that took a picture of his best friend's fucking dead body without realizing it, also stated that he, quote, never, ever heard of a helicopter falling out of the sky, end quote.
Well, if it does happen a lot, that's definitely not something that people who make helicopters would rather we didn't know.
And, of course, what are helicopters sold to?
Not generally lay people.
So, yeah, I'm pretty sure if that is true, we would never find it out.
Who was that famous basketball?
Kobe. Kobe died in a helicopter crash.
That one's super suspicious, too.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, there's so many different plane and helicopter crashes where...
Everything about them is just suspicious as hell.
Like, oh, gee, all these people were on their way to X conference or to, you know, pass on a bunch of mRNA cancer research to name a recent one.
Yeah. Yeah, the Boeing plane crash.
Have you heard any updates on that?
I found that...
Plane crashes have a 100% kill rate if you are going against the government and all in the same way.
Yes, and you're trying to expose the fucking government's mRNA sequence weaponization.
Highly hazardous to life and altitude.
What's this next one here?
Dr. Hitoshi Christopher Nikedo.
He was decapitated as he stepped onto an elevator at Christus St. Joseph Hospital in Houston, Texas.
According to a witness inside the elevator, oh, what a seat, the elevator doors closed as Nakato entered, trapping his head inside the elevator with the remainder of his body still outside.
His body was later found at the bottom of the elevator shaft, while the upper portion of his head, severed just above the lower jaw, was found in the elevator.
Oh my god, imagine that fucking witness in there, just like, oh my god!
A subsequent investigation revealed that improper electrical wiring installed by a maintenance company several days earlier had effectively bypassed all of the elevators.
Like, what the fuck?
It had power of its own.
It was autonomous.
It was fucking trying to kill people, dude.
Yeah, that'd be gruesome.
Well, this elevator's all AI, so it's just like, I will do as I please.
Yeah, I mean, that's what happens when you outsource your maintenance to Jigsaw.
Yeah, I don't know what year this is, but the wiring installed effectively bypassed all of the safeguards, enabling it to move under any circumstance.
So the elevator would do whatever it pleases.
If it wants to go to floor three, let's go.
Wants to close the doors?
Close them.
Oh, now that would be really creepy.
Up, down, up, down.
It can do whatever it wanted.
If it was actually an Internet of Things robot.
How do you so badly screw up an install on Wirelink to turn your elevator into something that's been effectively blessed by the freaking AllSpark and decided to make war on the world of math?
I don't know, man.
I feel like that's a level of failure.
That goes beyond deliberate.
You almost can't deliberately fuck up that badly.
It almost has to be accidental because you can't be that adept and that incompetent at the same time.
Yeah, I've seen quite a few videos of elevators killing people and it's just another one of the fears that I have.
I wonder what the kill rate is.
They say flying in a plane is safer than driving in a car, so I wonder...
Are riding in elevators safer than flying in planes?
Makes you kind of wonder, because I guess it would be measured by distance travel versus number of incidents and deaths.
I'm going to ask.
So, planes don't really have huge amounts of wrecks, and elevators don't travel terribly far per trip.
So it makes you kind of wonder if you measured the overall distance traveled.
Per foot travel, you'd actually be safer on a plane than in an elevator.
I'm asking chat GPT, are elevators safer than airplanes?
Elevators and airplanes both have impressive safety records, but they operate under very different conditions.
So comparing that could be tricky.
In summary, both elevators and airplanes are designed blah, blah, blah.
It just says both are generally safe.
Generally are very safe when maintained and used properly.
Let me ask.
Do more people die in elevators than in airplanes?
Yeah, it's like, come on, chat GPT.
The whole reason it's notable is because it's rare.
I know they're not actively killing people, or that would definitely be a bigger story you couldn't bury.
So statistically, this says, Fewer people die in elevators compared to airplanes, although the numbers might not be as straightforward as they seem due to different contexts in which these accidents occur.
In short, elevator accidents do happen.
They are far less common and typically less deadly on a per-incident basis compared to airplane incidents.
So there you have it.
Well, that clinches it.
Safer to ride in an elevator than it is to ride in a plane.
Well, I mean, if they're randomly decapitating people.
Maybe that'll bump up the average over time.
Maybe we just need to have a few more that are blessed with the AI AllSpark and we can achieve parity of casualties here.
Because it's really kind of unfair that one evil death machine should feel so inadequate compared to another.
Well, everything's got to be equal.
Better make that elevator comparable to Ted Bundy.
I wonder if over in Britain and stuff, your elevator will start detecting that you sent an offensive tweet and lock you in.
Since they've got all that integrated Internet of Things shit now, that's actually not as far-fetched a proposition as I'm making it out to be.
It sounds so ridiculous when I say it, but all of the tech is actually already there.
Jesus, hold you there?
You ain't got a license to feel those feelings, mate.
Yeah. No, dude, that's gonna be a...
That's gonna be a thing, dude.
They're gonna fucking have facial scanners in there, so if there's someone that's wanted and the facial scanner in the elevator sees them, they will lock the door and alert authorities.
And then those little fucking...
Yeah, like the meme I've seen.
Sounds like you've had too much to think, sir.
Yeah, yeah.
And then those little fucking RoboCops would be like, and come up and shoot a fucking little thing, a net on them.
We'll beat you into the right thoughts.
Yeah, that's great.
Oh my god, you've been thinking too much.
So who's this Kenneth Pinion fella?
Kenneth Pinion of Enumclaw, Washington.
He succumbed to acute peritonitis, or perforation of the anus, after receiving anal intercourse.
From a stallion.
Oh, man.
This case is interesting because it actually led to the criminalization of bestiality in Washington State in the United States.
And not that it really matters or has any impact on the story, but Kenneth was also an engineer for Boeing, by the way.
But his story was recounted in the award-winning 2007 documentary film Zoo.
Whoa. Clearly learning how to perform safe horse sex.
Because he never died of it.
Practice safe horse sex.
Yes. Truly a touching tale of man-horse love gone wrong.
He needed to see the sage advice of the survivors of previous encounters.
And actually, as you think about it, his mistakes ruined it for all of them.
He let the cat out of the bag, and now everybody knows it could be dangerous, so they've got to ban it.
When, you know, he could have practiced proper, safe equine anal penetration, and people would still be enjoying it to this day.
Wrecked it for everybody.
Where's Tampon Timmy?
Where's old Timmy Waltz?
And I'll add a little side note on here.
Everything was filmed.
The guy was filming everything, and I think he had a friend involved.
Yeah. What happened is the horse, obviously, the stallion had a very large penis and it perforated this man's anus and destroyed his insides.
Literally just fucked his insides up.
Bleeding profusely and the friend was able to get him to a hospital and I think he just leapt him on the steps and then took off.
But then when the cops end up going to the house because the guy died, they did a search and found the videos and this and that, and they realized what was really going on.
And I think it's not...
I'm pretty sure this guy was selling the videos.
I'm pretty sure he was selling bestiality videos.
And I'm pretty sure it's connected to Timmy Waltz.
Yes. Truly a touching tale of man-horse love gone wrong.
He needed to see the sage advice of the survivors of previous encounters.
And actually, now as you think about it, his mistakes ruined it for all of them.
He let the cat out of the bag, and now everybody knows it could be dangerous, so they've got to ban it.
When, you know, he could have practiced proper, safe equine anal penetration.
I'm pretty sure he was selling bestiality videos.
And I'm pretty sure it's connected to Timmy Waltz.
That's just me speculating.
I mean, we need to get him.
I mean, we need to get some kind of bestiality expert in here to try and make the argument that since technically the horse was the pitcher, it would be consenting.
He's doing all the work.
And so would that just make it bestiality rather than animal abuse in the eyes of somebody who really is passionate about horse banging?
The death happened in 2005.
Um, Mr. Kenneth Pinion was also known as Mr. Hands.
I feel like there's a story behind that nickname.
Dude, yes, okay, there was an incident.
Okay, so there was an investigation and it did lead to the discovery of a bunch of zoophiles who held animal orgies on this guy's farm to have sex with horses.
Police seized videotapes and DVDs that showed several men engaging in sexual acts with stallions, Arabian stallions.
So this is a huge bestiality ring, bro.
So 2005, bro.
So in 2006 is when it led to the state criminalizing bestiality.
So up until then, you could go have sex with animals all you wanted, but they put an end to it.
Wow. Wow.
So, wow.
So, yeah.
See, it always just takes me back to sync.
I don't even know.
I'm reading this stuff.
And I just think, man.
We have a case here!
It's just, yeah.
I mean, it's good that it was banned before, but the really horrifying thing is that, yeah, it had just been quietly going on.
Like, that whole time.
Unreal. Nobody felt the need to say, hey, maybe it's wrong to make animals bang us.
Are we sure?
This is okay.
So, all of this is documented in that film, Zoo, which was one of 16 documentaries out of 856 submitted for the Sundance Film Festival.
Which is not at all the plot, I would imagine, from that name.
Because, yeah, anytime you look down these really dark holes of depravity, it's always...
Exactly. And just really quick, because you said that when I was just reading the stuff right here in Wikipedia, it says that during that documentary, Zoo, they were asking these farms where this stuff happened, if they could film some parts there.
For the documentary, a lot of them were like, hell no, because they were part of the ring, dude.
And they were like, we have Microsoft picnics here.
Someone will think the wrong thing.
And so they wouldn't allow these zoo people to film there.
So yeah, billionaire companies, Microsoft.
And where is Microsoft headquartered over there?
Where is Amazon headquartered over there?
Where are all these major companies?
There's a ton.
Boeing is over there, you know?
I already feel like I'm assigning myself to hell making all of these macabre-ass jokes, but they probably weren't Microsoft during those picnics.
Oh! Since I already dug the hole so friggin' deep for myself here.
Oh, man.
I gotta tell this story, dude, because we're running out of time here, but when I was in Amsterdam...
I was with my friend, and I was going to go to Europe by myself.
But my friend was like, oh no, I'll get a ticket and go.
And the tickets were hella cheap.
So he was like, yeah, let's go.
And so we went to Amsterdam for the 18th Cannabis Cup.
And we ended up selling our Cannabis Cup tickets just so we could go explore more.
And then we went down to Belgium and all through Belgium and down to Spain.
We found this little bar in Amsterdam, close to the Red Light District, which is hilarious.
I'll tell many stories later on, different episodes, but we started going to this bar frequently during our trip, and the woman who I guess was manager and the bartender was just a super cute lady.
They were very outgoing and just bubbly.
So one night we were there drinking and stuff, and she comes over to us and she's like, Well, she was showing these other people her phone, and they were all laughing at whatever she was showing them.
And she's going around the bar showing everybody, and everyone's just laughing, had a great time about it.
Comes over to us, shows her the phone, and it's a fucking horse fucking a guy in the ass, alright?
And we're just like, what the fuck?
Brings a new definition to punchline.
Right? And so we're just like, yeah, this is kind of weird that everybody loves it there.
Like, they were loving it.
And come to find out, like, bestiality was pretty big over there.
Before you know.
She was just showing the videos.
Later on, another story about the same bar.
My friend had never been laid before.
I was trying to get him laid with the bartender.
She had closed the bar.
There was nobody in there.
She let us stay in there to drink with her.
This other guy that was sitting off in the corner rolling a spliff.
It was just us four in the bar.
It was super cool.
We were drinking for free.
Smoking weed in there.
I was trying to get him to hook up with her.
And I was telling her that he was a fucking underwear model.
And he was just going with it.
And I was like, this guy's an underwear model.
You need to hook up with this guy.
And he was just super shy, man.
But he got way too drunk.
And then she was like, alright, we gotta go to this party.
And she asked him, you're gonna come with me.
You know, you're gonna come with me.
Let's go.
And he's like, I'm just like, I'm too drunk.
I can't.
I just can't do it.
And she's like, fuck.
She looks at me and she's like, do you want to go?
And I was like, oh my god.
And I look at him and he just looks at me and I'm like, I can't leave him alone, dude.
Yeah, like he's gonna get himself in trouble if he's unattended.
He's gonna get murdered.
So I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.
I can't leave my friend alone.
She's like, alright.
And so we exit the bar and we close the door and we're all standing there and she hops on this really...
Really nice street bike.
Like, I've never seen a fucking street bike as nice as this, dude.
She just hops on it and is like, bye guys!
And just takes off.
And I'm just like, what the fuck?
She was gonna go to a gnarly party.
Man, I wish I would've gone.
Honestly, that would've been fun.
She was like, there's gonna be...
I don't know.
I don't know what would have happened, dude.
I don't know what would have happened, but just imagine you're in Amsterdam and some local wants to take you to a crazy party and they're all about videos of horses fucking dudes.
Yeah, that would really beg the question of what are the festivities that are going to consist of?
Yeah, I was scared, dude.
Half of me was like, I want to go.
We're going to try to bang each other, right?
I'm pretty sure it was going to end up being a lot of drugs and an orgy.
I can guarantee that.
I just don't know how extreme it was going to be.
So that's what I was like, no, I can't.
I don't want to leave my friend, plus I don't know what you guys are going to do to me.
I mean, we've been making jokes about it, but the fact that a no-punch line, just dude gets banged in the ass by a horse was hilarious.
That's super normal over there.
That shows a level of normalization that says, yeah, you might have a real concern that...
Your partner later might be from the barnyard.
I probably would have been part of a video that would have been put on the deep, the dark net.
Yeah. People would have probably been paying to see videos of me getting fucked by a horse or something.
Against my will, I would be drugged out.
They probably would have drugged me, shoved me in a stall, and just let horses go to town, dude.
You know what I mean?
See, well, maybe that guy died and the horse was actually abusing him.
Maybe. Maybe the horse was actually the dominant one.
Exactly. The horse wore the pants in that relationship.
And it was just like, we're doing this.
And he's like, but it could be deadly.
And the horse is like, I don't give a shit.
Bitch, what you say to me?
Smacks him with his hoof.
It's a lot of words when you could be using that time to bend over.
Yeah, right?
It's Mr. Ed talking, though.
It's the same voice as Mr. Ed.
Instead of Mr. Ed, it's Mr. Harvey.
Mr. Harvey.
Bojack. The casting barn.
Oh my god, the casting barn.
Oh my god, alright.
Is that going to be it?
Is that it for the show?
Anything else?
Anything else you got?
No? Yes?
I think I'm out.
We'll end it on.
That's where we're going to end the episode.
Death by horse banging.
Let that be a lesson to all you guys.
You could be murdered by anything, an animal or an inanimate object at any time, any moment.
Awake or asleep.
You never know when it's going to happen.
Monkeys will pop out of nowhere and steal your fucking newborn infants.
Who knows?
You've got to stay safe.
Keep your head on a goddamn swivel.
That's going to be it for today's episode.
Please, if you would, give us a five star and leave us a review, positive or negative.
As much as we love the positive ones, the negative ones are really a treat.
Well, realistically, if someone tells me I suck, that means someone is finally talking to me.
Yeah, makes me feel good, even when it's something negative.
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We'd love to hear your suggestions, your praise, and your ridicule, so please reach out to us.
Cricket, where can the listeners stalk you personally?
I'm always working on my website, www.theindividual.com.
And by always, I mean...
Great website.
I mean occasionally updating it and trying to actually bother doing more.
Great website.
Everyone should go.
Check it out.
And then I can be seen talking to myself on Twitter at the individual, because I didn't get in there quick enough to take the individual.
Somebody already took the name.
Unfortunate. But you have the website.
And then call themselves something else.
That's the worst part.
There isn't a person named that.
They took the name and then they called themselves some other name.
