CONTACT US Email: paranaughtica@gmail.com Twitter: @paranaughtica Facebook: The Paranaughtica PodcastAhhhhh yes......beauty. What a beautiful thing. Humans are crazy and will go to some extreme lengths to achieve their personal perception of what 'beauty' is. People will travel thousands of miles to go sit in a make-shift 'doctors office' which just so happens to be a public restroom, and allow a stranger to administer questionable drugs on them and then do all sorts of weird cosmetic shit.....well, maybe not a public restroom, but doctors and others who masquerade as such will transform their apartment bedroom into an 'office' where they perform plastic surgery. There are thousands of these set up all over the world, and there are hundreds of thousands of people going to them for plastic surgery, otherwise known as cosmetic surgery. Todays episode is about that.....plastic surgery and the consequences that go along with it. Hopefully you find it interesting. Let us know!!!If you’d like to help us out with a donation and you’re currently listening on Spotify, you can simply scroll down on our page and you’ll see a button to help us out with either a one-time donation or you can set up a monthly recurring donation. You can also go to our Facebook page where we have a link to our Ko-Fi account and Pay-Pal account if you'd like to help out the show. We would greatly appreciate it and give you a massive shoutout on the show if you'd like!Sources: 1. https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2018/08/16/brazils-famous-dr-bum-bum-charged-with-murdering-patient-after-butt-enhancement-goes-wrong/ 2. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/aug/16/dr-bumbum-charged-over-death-of-patient-after-operation 3. https://nypost.com/2018/07/18/dr-bumbum-on-the-run-after-patient-dies-during-botched-butt-enlargement/ 4. https://www.thecut.com/tags/denis-furtado/5. https://modernaesthetics.com/articles/2022-nov-dec/the-current-state-of-brazilian-butt-lifts6. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-12246215/Inside-Britains-deadly-celebrity-inspired-craze-Turkish-surgery.html Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Scott, word on the pommel horse is that you had some plastic surgery done.
Is that true?
Well, I mean, I can't speak for everyone on such matters, but I gotta say, the pommel horse is a difficult thing to maneuver, and, you know, it's not really my strong suit.
Maybe there's some ear pinning, maybe a little liposuction.
Those with mouths do talk.
Brow lift, maybe?
Or a chin augmentation?
What about a hair transplant?
Or maybe some dermabrasion?
Alright, hold on now.
You know, I take great offense at these allegations.
Like, who the hell is saying these things?
And no, I have not received any plastic surgery.
That's not what they're saying.
Who's saying?
Who's saying this?
Who? Who, dammit?
Was it an eyelid lift?
I hear those are in hot demand right now.
Maybe it was a nostril extension, though.
Well, honestly, I didn't even know nostril extension was a thing.
I didn't either.
Now that I know, I'm kind of considering it, actually.
I feel like that's one thing that's been...
Lacking is the length of my nose.
You want to go in?
We should go in for some double nostril extensions.
Yeah, let's make an appointment, bro.
After this, we'll hit it up.
Hell yeah, bro.
Well, anyway, man, you can't keep it a secret forever.
You know that we see you every day here at whichever studio, the great one, Mr. Wayne Dale himself, brings us to each week to record in what are usually very deplorable conditions.
But we see you every single day, man.
You literally walk past us every day.
While we stand there sipping our water out of the stupid little miniature fucking cone cups, you know, at the water dispenser station?
You know what I'm talking about, right?
I mean, those stupid little cone cups.
Those cups have been around for so long.
Time immemorial, I feel like.
I just, I like them at this point.
I can't imagine drinking out of anything else at the office and that little blub, blub, blub sound that you get, you know, when you push down the little knobby.
There's no substitute, bro.
There's no substituting that.
All right.
Well, tell us, man.
Admit it here today, right here or now, and just get it out there and rest easy.
Did you go in for a butt lift?
Everything else looks about the same, and I'm pretty sure you didn't get any breast implants because your chest looks exactly the same.
In fact, it resembles Sidney Gillen's chest, actually.
Oh. Well, who the heck is that?
Oh, she was the 2022 Mr. Olympia Women's Figure Champion.
You know, honestly, that's a compliment, bro, because she is ripped.
So if you think that's what my chest looks like, you're blind, first of all.
But second of all, thank you.
That's a huge compliment.
Like it.
You're welcome.
But to respond to both your and the, quote, almighty Wayne Dale's blossoming curiosities, the answer is an astounding no, sir.
So there you go.
Now it's out there for the world to take in and do what they want with it.
No, no, and no.
Are you serious?
Wayne Dale, you hearing this shit?
I certainly am, and I honestly wish it was a different answer, just to be honest here.
Ah, come on, guys.
Damn, Wayne Dale.
Yeah, man, you need to calm down, bro.
Busting my chops here.
I'm not getting no butt lift, no frickin' eyelid raised, whatever the hell that was.
Maybe the nose extension, but...
We'll talk about that.
We'll talk about that later.
It's just that at home, well, you know my wife and all, all homely and whatnot.
Wonderful old box of rocks.
Has more fragrance than a muskogs.
Makes a great tuna fish helper, though.
She pours about a gallon of that extra creamy creamed corn on top of it and then tops that off with a full bottle of mesquite barbecue sauce.
Some of the best.
But I must say, she ain't got no butt like that, man.
Get yourself together.
Yeah, that's really messed up on like a few different levels there, Wayndale.
Don't act like you ain't staring at those two fat turkeys jib and jive as they walk by the water station.
Alright, hey look, I might be taking a glimpse, just a quick glimpse, but I'm checking out the sweet cut-off bleach jean shorts with the homemade belly shirt and those sweet fucking high-top Converse shoes he's been rocking lately.
I'm pretty much at a loss for words right now, just in general.
Look, man, a man can be bored beyond any stretch of the imagination in his everyday real life, which just drones on day after day after day, or he can search for solace and what would be a reason to live which can both be experienced and appreciated within the fantasies that play out inside of a man's mind.
That's all I'm saying.
Don't be sizing anyone up.
With those kind of hungry eyes, man, you're just walking down a path to certain and utter destruction, bro.
I mean, technically he's not wrong, but within the context of this show, I think there is great room for concern here, Scott.
I think in the context of just life in general, there's like cause, there's like major alarm bells, like red flags are popping up everywhere.
Just shut up and do the fucking show already, goddammit, the both of you, god.
Dammit, you two just make me so angry sometimes.
But I'm working on that.
Like I said I would.
The pills that gave me help a lot.
I haven't broken my big toe in about four months from kicking random objects.
That's really wonderful, Wayndale.
I'm proud of you and how far you've come and the steps that you've taken.
Oh, hey, hey, I have a really good idea.
Oh, what's that?
Let's forget that Wayndale is here, as usual.
Because today...
We are going under the knife to get our face lifted and our stomach tucked amongst whatever else people do to make themselves feel better regardless of the very apparent dangers of such operations.
The consequences can be unsatisfactory from time to time, sometimes life threatening, even deadly.
The question is, is there a money back guarantee?
Well, dangerous for sure.
I don't know.
I can't speculate on the money back guarantee.
My feeling is no.
Usually you just get slapped with a huge bill.
No matter what happens, you have to pay it off.
But there are a lot of dangers and there are people, like countless people actually, who have died on the table because they get too many freaking plastic surgery operations, bro.
Yep, yep.
And we will dive into some of those.
But before we go any further, I believe it is time for the world-renowned segment that is the always relevant Trey Portray.
Ah, yes, the segment that draws the listeners in.
portray portrays a papi.
Papi papi.
We need some more.
We need a bigger band.
We're lacking in some of the...
I was going to say, man, how much did you pay the band this week?
Because it seems to be missing a few members there.
Oh, man.
Yes. Well, anyways, as we previously stated, it's time for Trey for Trey.
This first story comes to us from www.thesun.com.
Coop, you've heard of vegans, right?
Vegans. No, what is that?
You've heard of vegans and you've heard of influencers, right?
Yeah, I know what an influencer is, yes.
Oh, okay.
Well, there's a vegan influencer, the 39-year-old Zana Samasnava.
Well, that's one who lives a vegan lifestyle, but they put it out there for everyone to see, so they try to influence other people's behavior and get likes and shares.
You know, it's kind of similar to what we're doing, but just with veganism, man.
Oh. The first story.
That we're reporting from The Sun is this vegan influencer, Zana Zamasnova.
Zamasnova? It didn't work out for her, bro.
That's all I'm gonna say.
She died attempting to live on a fruit-only diet.
It fucking killed her.
Bro, no.
How long did she last, I guess I should ask?
That's horrible.
Well, she died in July.
So this month, while in Malaysia on tour, she was like touring Southeastern Asia and she just croaked, bro.
Damn. Yeah, so this girl, she explained how she's been just like eating and drinking fruits, sunflower seeds, smoothies, and juice for like four years.
No, that's not good, bro.
Yeah, she's a Russian national.
She was touring Southeastern Asia.
She actually like kind of went a little crazy, it seems like.
She left a quote on her social media that said, life is meaningless.
But worth living, provided you recognize its meaninglessness.
Which, that's insane.
That's deep.
Yeah, and she just had a selfie with her mouth open.
People were starting to worry about her.
But her friends noticed how restrictive her diet had become.
And it just got more and more restricted.
And people were commenting, saying she looked exhausted.
Other people who lived around her were like, Dude, we were positive we were just going to see her drop dead in the street, basically.
That's crazy.
But, yeah, they haven't, like, officially released her cause of death, but she died, and I'm sure it's going to have to do with, like, malnutrition.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
But if you look at pictures of her, and I'm sure you've seen them, she doesn't look healthy.
No. She's, like, way too skinny, and, I mean, you just can't make it on that.
There's just not enough.
No, and I was going to ask you about this picture here.
If you scroll down, the one she's doing yoga on the purple mat.
Right, right, yeah.
That is so photoshopped.
I'm like, which part of the picture is real other than her on the mat?
Right, right.
And then it's weird, the left part of it, like somebody just kind of copied and pasted the same little pattern.
Yeah. Well, it's unfortunate, but maybe guys, just a PSA, eat more food.
Yeah, and she says that even before she did this four-year diet on just, what, fruits and sunflower seeds and whatever juices.
She did five years on nothing but a raw vegan diet.
Yeah. And that was before becoming even more restrictive.
So, I mean...
Yeah. And then four years of just juices and sunflower seeds, dude, bro.
No way.
It'll kill you.
Not happening.
It'll kill you.
It will kill you.
Your brain needs a lot of nutrients.
Yeah. We need more than that.
Well, it's sad.
It's unfortunate.
It's unfortunate.
She's up in the big fruit pie in the sky, you know?
Yeah, she is.
Our next story comes to us from news.sky.com Coop!
Yes? There was a singer.
Yes. This singer was married, but the story comes to us about who she was married to.
She claims that she was married to the ghost of a Victorian soldier and has now come out and on the record has said that they are divorced.
Less than a year later.
They didn't last very long.
Oh, wow.
I can't believe it.
That's just amazing.
Yes. She married a ghost.
Yep, she married a ghost.
She's a singer-songwriter.
She's from Oxfordshire.
And she said that he burst into her bedroom one, quote, dark and stormy night.
She's four years old, by the way.
He announced his love for her, and this led to this spirited love affair, which hit the headlines when she announced that they were going to get married back in 2022, in a chapel, of course, on Halloween.
And there was quite a ceremony.
But, yeah.
Apparently, he got this ghost, by the way, got too drunk on their honeymoon, and problems started happening after that.
No, no!
Oh, no!
Yes, imagine that.
She was entranced by his devilishly handsome uniform and his unruly hair.
Who wouldn't be?
Yeah, she just had this sort of unsettling, you know, attraction to this ghost.
That's just fantastic.
But, yeah.
And she wrote a song about their split.
So that's how she came out and let everybody know.
It's called Just Another Anthem.
But it's about their untimely divorce.
And so what was the exact cause of the split?
Like, what pissed her off to the point of saying, look, Eduardo, which is the ghost's name.
We're getting a divorce.
What led up to that point?
So the claim is she said that he would disappear for days, and then when he would return, he would smell like Chanel No.
5, which she says is Marilyn Monroe's favorite perfume.
So she accuses him of cheating on her with the ghost of Marilyn Monroe.
That's so ridiculous.
And yeah, she just had enough, I guess.
So... It was an official wedding.
I don't know how that works.
And so this is like an official divorce with all the paperwork and shit.
So does the ghost get half of her estate since she's a singer-songwriter?
Oh, man.
Well, that's a good point.
I want to be that ghost attorney.
I want to represent that ghost.
Eduardo, contact me.
I want to be the judge that's like...
Get the hell out of my courtroom.
No way, man, because I'm going to get half of this woman's estate.
I'm going to freaking represent Eduardo here, and per the divorce, I'm going to get half of the estate.
Nice. And so I need you as the judge to rule in my favor.
I'm sure there would be a hefty commish.
You can stay in the barnhouse.
Let's make it fully corrupt, and you just pay me under the table after it's all done.
Alright, deal.
All right.
Well, that's that.
So moving on, this story also comes to us from news.sky.com.
This is our third story.
I'm going to bring it back to a real note here.
It's not a pressing issue.
Everybody knows Donald Trump.
Apparently, he's facing four criminal charges relating to attempts to overturn the 2020 election.
Prosecutors are trying to tie him to the storming of the U.S. Capitol building.
There's a 45-page court document that came out alleging that this man is full of schemes.
He was trying to subvert and transfer the power back to him.
From Democratic Joe Biden.
And that he had a number of false statements.
And that a lot of his supporters were in on the whole shebang.
So what do you think about that?
The more I look into it, I mean, because I watched that whole, you know, debacle go down.
And it's, dude, he was.
He was riling his people up.
Like, there's no doubt about it.
He was saying, let's storm the Capitol.
Come on, I'm with you.
Let's do this.
Like, come on.
The words have intent.
And I think he's, as President of the United States, I think he should be held accountable for doing that.
He's definitely responsible for at least part of what happened on that day.
I mean, that's my opinion.
Yeah, see, I'll play devil's advocate a little bit.
I mean, I think he meant let us storm the Capitol, but in a, you know, in a...
More of a metaphorical way.
And I think, just unfortunately, people just took it literally.
Right. Well, the thing is, look at his followers.
You try to pitch metaphors at these people.
Are they going to get it?
Well, I think the same could be said for followers on the liberal side, too, that are like, yeah, burn all the cars and take down the buildings and give everybody guns.
I don't know, man.
I don't know.
I think I like that he's shaking things up.
I think it's great.
It's nice to see someone coming in and making waves.
Absolutely. Just the usual, you know, the whole rigmarole of quiet.
It's like bingo night, normally.
All the debates I've watched growing up, it's like B6.
Yeah, those are such a joke.
Anybody have B6?
I do.
I've got B6.
That's what it felt like for like...
15 years.
All of those are such a joke.
I don't understand the people who watch those and are like, I stand behind that.
He's saying these things or she's saying these things.
Oh, I can't wait for that person to actually do these things.
And every single time that person gets into power, they never do what they said they were going to do.
And everyone's shocked.
Everyone's shocked about it.
It's like, what?
Okay, next time we're going to do it right.
And the next time comes around.
And again, same thing happens over and over.
Exactly. Well, we'll keep an eye on the situation.
Apparently he's been summoned to appear before a federal court on Thursday.
What are the charges he's facing?
The four charges, officially, for the record, are conspiracy to fraud the U.S., conspiracy to obstruct an official proceeding, obstruction of and attempt to obstruct an official proceeding, and a conspiracy against rights.
Wow. Damn.
Well, there's something interesting because I was looking at these polls, the latest polls that are out, which are up to date on the 2nd.
It's really interesting because I'm looking at these and I'm like, okay, do Americans have a favorable or unfavorable opinion of Donald Trump?
Overwhelmingly, people have an unfavorable opinion, over 54% right now.
When it comes to who's ahead of the national polls, Trump is ahead at 54 point whatever percent, or it's 53.3 percent, when the next person closest to that is DeSantis, and he's only at what,
like 14 point something percent.
There's a huge discrepancy in who's leading the polls, but there are so many people who just are unfavorable towards Trump.
So I don't understand how that works.
Yeah, I mean, I can't claim to know how it all shakes out and what that all means, but all I know is I just have to sit and watch, you know?
And it will all become clear.
It's not looking good in the future, but if I do vote, I'm writing you in.
All right, right on, bro.
You're my vote.
Hell yeah, dude.
I'll be everybody's writing, for sure.
Everybody write in, Scott, for, what, a third-party candidate?
Yeah, independent.
Independent candidate.
We need to get some money behind you, so we go to our Ko-Fi account.
We'll start doing some presidential bids.
Yep. Scott for president!
Well, ladies and gentlemen, that's all for our favorite segment, Trey Portray.
Thank you for joining us.
Hey, what do you think about this whole next round of indictments for Trump, Scott?
I think that the political machine is hard at work trying to just slander the name of a person who's already been slandered plenty.
The more people come out against it, the more I'm like, man, maybe there is something to this guy.
I'm gonna be honest.
You know, and this is like the third time that he's been indicted.
It's true.
I think the indictments are gonna keep coming, bro, until the election season is over.
And then suddenly, no one's gonna give a shit.
Just wait.
I'm gonna call it right now.
I'm gonna place a money bet.
A hundred bucks.
It's all just going to go away.
Yeah. I mean, the target's on him right now, so what are we missing?
True. What's happening behind the scenes, exactly.
That's what we really should be asking.
That's what we need to be looking at, not what's going on with Trump.
That's nothing.
Let that happen, but let's look at what's going behind everything.
Exactly. Meanwhile, we're talking about UFOs in the government, and then people are like, more rounds of indictments for Trump!
Just seems like clickbait compared to other real-world issues that are far more pressing.
It's just like entertainment value at this point.
Exactly. Like, real-world has turned into the National Enquirer.
Exactly. But, you know, with that out of the way, we will now need to run ourselves backwards all the way over to Brazil, which is where we need to go in order to begin the first story of today's show.
Not to be a dog, but speaking of butts, Brazil, man.
Badunk, badunk.
You know what I mean?
You know what I'm saying, bro?
I absolutely do, man.
Now, I've never been to Brazil, but I'd sure love to go and see what it's all about, especially, you know, carnival.
That'd be sweet.
That would be an experience.
But what is it with the Brazilian butt?
Am I right?
You know, in 1968, during the four-day festival that is Carnival, 89 people were killed.
Did you know that?
No shit.
Yes, shit.
Damn. Apparently, and I found this in an old newspaper article, it was dated February 29th in Rio de Janeiro, but 89 people were killed during the festival.
This included 17 who were murdered, and another 25 were run down by a vehicle.
Jesus. Yeah, he's up there on a rock.
Big old fella.
And in 2011, 16 people were electrocuted and killed when a power cable fell from a sound truck into a packed street.
What the fuck?
Don't do it, man.
I won't.
But in 1999...
231 people were killed during a crazy crime wave over that four days of carnival.
Well, back to our original discussion, what is it with Brazilian butts, you know?
That question had my brain spinning wheels and working overtime, so much so that I was having countless sleepless nights.
The calendar pages had been haphazardly ripped and crumpled and tossed to the floor below.
I was endlessly tossing around, turning, sweating.
Throwing pillows at the dark shadow thing in the corner of my room.
I just couldn't figure out the answer to that burning question, though, Scott.
What is it with the Brazilian butt?
I know the feeling, my bro, but, uh, you sure the sleeplessness isn't due to the shadow thing in your room?
So, Scott, the time came when I decided to take action.
I guess we'll skip past that one.
Moving on.
I hit the World Wide Web and navigated through the endless websites with their bright flashing lights and their alluring web design that effortlessly draws you in and all those crazy sales and insane deals, the two-for-ones.
It's hard not to get lost and forget why you're there in the first place.
That's pretty much every time I go to the store, bro.
I get in there, I'm like, what the hell did I even come here for?
And then I just end up walking around and buying a bunch of shit I don't need.
Every time.
I'm the same way.
But suffice it to say, I managed to find my way through all the madness and excitement and found what I was destined to eventually find between the dusty, damp, and dark realms.
What exactly are we talking about again here?
Why Brazilian women?
Endman, I suppose, have per capita the nicest buttocks in all the lands, man.
Oh, right.
Okay, well, why?
We're going to find that out right now.
That's great, because I want to know the answer, as do our listeners, I'm sure.
Let me just start off by saying this.
And this comes from knowwinrio.com.
I think it's nowinrio.com.
Oh, I read that wrong.
All right.
And this comes from nowinrio.com.
Quote, Man, um,
I've never heard of this competition.
And I feel like it's something I should have heard of.
Yeah. Well, the article goes on to say that the butt represents Brazilian sexuality and societal beauty ideals, whereas boobs, their word, not mine.
Google boobs!
Rudy, Google boobs!
Google boobs!
Rudy! Rudy!
Rudy, Theo, Google boobs!
Yeah, so whereas boobs tend to be more admired in other countries, such as in the U.S. and the U.K. and Canada.
Yeah, did you already say the U.S.?
Yeah, yeah, they're in the U.S. too.
People love boobs in the U.S. Boobs are loved in the U.S., for sure.
And in Canada.
I can't say it enough, guys.
We like them.
They say that Brazilians seek the desirable butt that they are famous for having because they live a very outdoor and beachy lifestyle, and particularly for those born in Rio de Janeiro.
They want to feel comfortable with their bodies since they're going to be out there in their micro bikinis, to which I say, you know what?
What's the point?
Yeah, what's the point?
They're like a single string of yarn these days.
Yeah, have you seen those ones that are basically just a little rectangle patch that just covers the bare minimum?
There are no strings anywhere.
They're just kind of like a little sticker.
I don't know, it's magic.
It's suction.
Suction. Yeah, I read that in a National Enquirer.
Suction. Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Right there next to Batboy.
Yeah, he was found alive.
Yeah, in a cave.
But then the government in their white coats locked him up in a medical lab.
Damn them.
Always ruining a good thing, man.
Yeah. Anyway, Brazilians favor their butts over their other body parts because of not only a personal preference, which probably stems from being raised that way, but also of societal preferences.
You know, a combination of both nature and nurture.
There are criteria, though, that need to be met at this Miss Bum Bum competition, though.
Oh, do tell, do tell.
Well, they look for a specific size each year.
And from whichever article I read, and whichever year it was, I think it was 2018, but whichever year it was, that year, the measurement they wanted was 42.1 inches, or about 107 centimeters, and with a smooth texture and a firm,
uplifted look.
Smooth texture, huh?
So there was a section of this competition where the judges had to feel all these women's butts?
Is that what you're saying?
Is that what you're saying to me right now?
Apparently. I don't know.
And I think it's safe to say that those judges were certainly uplifted.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sure they rose to the occasion.
Well, first place at this competition takes in around 15,000 US dollars or 50,000 real in advertising contracts.
But what is more interesting to me...
Is that there is an apparently famous song by someone named MC Covino?
And in this song of his, he says, Well, actually, you know what, Scott?
You want to sing this song for the listeners?
Yeah, why don't you just sing these lyrics so the listeners get an idea of the poetic genius this guy is.
Oh boy, man, putting me on the spot once again.
Well, what kind of music is it, at least?
I think it's like some club music, you know, heavy drum and bass with lyrics.
Alright, alright.
Well, I have experience with this.
a lot actually
Sorry, I just don't want to mess this up, you know?
No, yeah, yeah, you're good.
Here we go, here we go.
End scene.
When she hits her butt on the floor, when she moves her butt on the floor, when she throws her butt on the floor, when she rubs her butt on the floor.
The dude deserves a Lyric Poetry Award for that.
Yeah, or an Alice Faye de Castagnolo Award.
Truly moving poetry forward to places we never realized it could go.
I mean, this is like avant-garde stuff, bro.
Groundbreaking. That's good.
The sad thing is, though, that he's probably getting many women trying to get all over his satchel.
But, you know, let's move on to why we are really in Brazil.
It's not for the butts.
Well, those are secondary to the story.
Oh, okay.
Our main purpose for this journey is to talk about a certain Dennis Furtado, a certain Dr. Dennis Furtado, and his home-run cosmetic surgery office.
The year is 2018.
First of all, prosecutors would later say that his apartment had been turned into a setting to carry out his illegal surgeries and procedures, and that it was, quote, provisionally and precariously adapted to attend patients, end quote,
meaning that it was shoddy at best.
Yeah, if you have the prosecutors alleging that your space is just like barely, basically they're saying it was rigged up.
To see people coming in in a patient setting, I mean, that's, yikes, that says a lot right there, just that sentence alone.
And when I think about the setting of this, I just picture the setting of those torture rooms in the movie Hostel by Eli Roth.
Great film.
Yeah, I picture every barn in every, like, serial killer or, like, thriller killer movie ever, like Texas Chainsaw Massacre or...
Just chains hanging out, chains hanging from the ceiling.
Totally, yeah, just rusty implements, just hooks and shit.
So, who is Denis Furtado?
Well, for one, he was a doctor but was suspended from practicing medicine, so I'm not sure if he's still a doctor.
And a side note on that, he wasn't even a specialized plastic surgeon, which are the only ones who are legally able to conduct these types of procedures.
Denis Furtado was licensed to practice in Brasilia and Goiás, but not in Rio.
He was also a bit of a celebrity on social media where he had more than 600,000 followers at one time on Instagram and another 44,000 on Facebook.
He had used social media to post photographs of the before and after of his successful procedures.
Obviously, he was doing some decent work on the Brazilian women who absolutely cherished their butts, seeing that they were lining up to go to him for these operations, you know.
Oh, oh, and his nickname was Dr. Bum Bum.
Oh, Dr. Bum Bum.
Pretty cool.
I like that.
Pretty cool name.
But the prosecutors would later say, With an expressive number of followers on social media, Dr. Bum Bum attracted women with a false promise of easy and immediate beauty.
Oh, wow.
Look at these before and after pictures.
Hey, uh, Denise?
Hey, would you give me the direct number to this Dr. Bum Bum?
I'll give him a deal.
My entire family will get bum-bums, including the dogs.
That would be cute, man.
Little bum-bums and dogs.
Just shaking it.
Just like, all butt.
All butt.
I like that.
A little side note.
In 2013, there were more plastic surgeries done in Brazil than in the United States for the first time in the history of said surgeries.
Oh, man.
I don't know if that's a good stat.
I don't either.
So now that we know what ex-Dr.
Dennis Furtado was up to, let's introduce the unfortunate victim.
I'll point out here that this is not a particularly brutal or disturbing case, so shoes are still safely velcroed.
Lillian Kalisto was a 46-year-old mother of two who worked as a bank manager who traveled more than 1,000 miles or 1,600 kilometers to meet Dennis Furtado in Rio to have the butt implant procedure, which is statistically deadly.
Really? That specific procedure is far more popular than any of the other ones, which is very interesting to me because I tend to think that having a smaller procedure done, like a brow lift or an eyelid lift or something, would occur more often just because they seem, you know, less complicated and easier procedures.
Right, right.
Well, I read somewhere that they're actually trying to get people to get other surgeries done rather than butt implants.
So they started giving out little 2 for 1 coupons, you know, 2 for...
Oh. Bring old Daisy by next week.
We'll get you both shaped and stuffed to perfection.
Could you do that, Doctor?
We'll be in a hurry.
Oh, it's no problem, miss.
I'll just speed up the process and skip a few steps.
Oh, that's wonderful, Doctor.
Say, how old is Daisy this year?
Oh, um, she'll be five in August.
She has no interest in anything but becoming the world's greatest model.
All the ribbons and the trophies.
Oh, the shelves of trophies and the walls of medallions and plaques and the crystal awards I've always dreamed of.
Oh, the tiaras of all colors, shapes, and sizes.
Oh, and best of all, the unwavering attention from everyone.
Oh, for once, the spotlight will be all mine.
Well, that's just superb, miss.
But unfortunately, she'll need a tummy tuck.
I do say so myself.
And rhinoplasty, a hair transplant, and a little bit of an ear tuck, not to mention a great deal of liposuction.
And, uh, dear God, is her foot backwards?
Oh, that, yes.
Sadly, it has been the source of much of her misery.
Wow, that's, uh, that's incredible.
I mean, the foot.
I mean, um, well, it's your lucky day, miss.
I have a hacksaw, and I can go ahead and saw that foot right off and then reattach it facing the correct direction.
Oh, wow, um, I'm not sure what to say.
Could you schedule us in for next Thursday?
It'll be right after her catwalk lessons.
Sure thing, miss.
You're all set.
There we go.
See you next Thursday, miss.
Watch your step now.
Oh, and by the way, I can also extend the length of toes now, just so you know.
I just learned how to do that from an early edition of the Canadian Raiders Digest.
Schedule us in for that as well.
Well, one for each of us, doctor.
You're in safe hands, miss.
Even though I'm missing three fingers and both thumbs.
There's a grenade accident.
But good news.
You'll be out of here in no time.
But my assumption is that the butt implant surgery, or even liposuction for that matter, are more complicated than the others are wrong.
According to doctors who perform cosmetic surgeries, liposuction and butt lifts, particularly the Brazilian butt lift, the old BBL, they're generally very easy to do.
Everyone's getting them these days.
Seems like.
Butt. And this is a very big but.
Even though they are less complicated, statistically, they still have their risks.
And these risks are very risky.
Very, very risky.
Yes, certainly.
But we'll get into all of that in a moment.
Lillian Kalisto arrives at Dennis Furtado's apartment, and he immediately preps Rupp to begin the procedure.
And I'll say here that the procedure is typically to inject a certain kind of substance, such as a silicone.
into the area the person wishes to enhance with beauty.
In this instance, Dennis Furtado was using polymethylmethacrylate, or PMMA for short, which is a synthetic resin that is also known as acrylic glass filler.
Ugh! Just none of that sounds like anything that should be anywhere near the inside of a body, or even the outside of a body, but just like the inside for sure, bro.
So, actually...
PMMA had been regularly used in cosmetic surgeries for a while, but only in very small doses.
It is not meant for anything larger than droplet-sized cosmetics and is or was severely restricted.
In fact, the Brazilian Plastic Surgery Society has strongly warned against its use for any aesthetic purposes or cosmetic surgeries.
Well, rightfully so.
It's not natural.
And apparently there is a push to ban all microplastics from cosmetics in the EU and the US.
And I guess the U.S. banned it in 2017, while the EU will do the same within 6 to 12 years, apparently.
So the shit isn't good to be injected into you, obviously.
Probably up there with the old crocodile shit that rots people's bodies.
And they continue to use that.
Yes! I remember when crocodile was sweeping the Russian country, dude.
Like, the Russian nation was suffering from a huge epidemic of people dying from the use of crocodile.
That stuff is so gnarly.
And now it's here.
All in the streets of, like, San Francisco and, like, Portland.
Aw, man, New York.
It's everywhere.
It's disgusting.
But, uh, this is really interesting.
Really quick.
Just to go back to the beauty thing being held in high esteem in Brazil.
In the 1920s, Brazilian eugenic scientists posited that beauty was a measure of the nation's racial progress.
And by 1960, a surgeon by the name of Ivo Pitangai, who was known as the Pope of Plastic Surgery, convinced the then-president, Huskalino Kubitschek, that the right to beauty was a basic human right.
His argument?
That ugliness caused so much psychological suffering in Brazil that the medical class couldn't just stand around and watch the ugly people suffer while the rest of the perfectly beautiful people endlessly progressed and moved forward in every avenue of life.
So they had to take action.
And after convincing the president, the president then opened the first institute that offered plastic surgery to poor people.
It doubled as a medical school.
Yeah, but you need to weigh the risk and reward, you know?
Like, do I remain ugly as I am forever, or do I take the risk and let the stranger put a scalpel to my face and risk becoming far uglier than I was previously?
I mean, there's a lot to think about there.
A lot of checks and balances, you know?
Yeah, that would be a tough call to make.
But again, you'd have to put yourself in the shoes of someone that is very desperate to look better than they feel that they do.
True. Desperation and options.
Two things that do not mix.
Not good.
Give them one option.
Anyway, that place became a massive hit, and everyone and their mother and their mother and their mother went there for surgery and waffles.
Oh, I'm here for the waffles.
Hell yeah.
I don't know about the waffles, but...
Oh, man.
Yeah, it's a selling point, though.
But on with our victim, Lillian Calisto.
So, normally, before the shit was banned from cosmetics, PMMA would be used in very small droplet size quantities only.
But not here in Dr. Dennis Furtado's home office.
Not with a buttload of cash to be made.
And it wasn't just Dennis who was operating at his illegal home office.
Operating alongside him was his trusty mother, Maria de Fatima Barros Furtado, and his girlfriend who was also his assistant, Renata Fernandez.
But after prepping Lillian, Dennis would inject both of her buttocks with about 300 milliliters of PMMA, or about one and one-fourth of a cup.
Hmm. That's interesting.
It's just like, I'm curious, you know, obviously I haven't seen any pictures or anything, but I'm curious about the distribution of the substance.
Like, does it go in, like, a solid layer?
Does it pool in one spot?
Like, I don't know.
It's just a curious thing.
Yeah. I mean, I have no idea on how that works either.
But I mean, this stuff is supposed to be used in tiny droplet-sized amounts, so this guy's just injecting one and a half cups of this stuff into each of her buttocks.
So Lillian began to feel ill while still at Furtado's place.
What these signs of illness were, we do not know, but she was definitely not in all that great of shape because it was urgent enough for this at-the-time doctor to know that he needed to bring her to a hospital for real medical attention.
Right, and supposedly this guy is performing these...
And it's said that when she got to the hospital, Lillian was alert and lucid, but was showing signs of tachycardia, which is when the heart beats at least 100 times per minute in a resting state.
She was also having difficulties breathing and was clearly sweating.
And only a few hours after arriving at the hospital, Lillian Kalisto would be pronounced dead.
I'm sure Dennis stuck around though, right?
Dennis dropped her off and bounced the hell out of there.
Oh, he got out of there, bro.
Yeah. He and his mother and his girlfriend, they'd all hide out for about five days before he was finally apprehended, but not before posting some videos proclaiming his innocence on his social media.
Well, that's the important part.
I mean...
You gotta believe him, right?
I guess.
He who speaks first takes the ears.
Yeah. Yes, yes.
In one of his videos that he posted, he said that the death of Kalisto was a fatal accident and that he had done at least 9,000 of the same procedure.
The three of them were eventually charged with murder, but unfortunately, I couldn't find anything about a conviction.
Sure, right.
Sealed it all up, and I mean, maybe the rules are different down there, but...
Yeah, crazy.
Let's look into the dangers of the Brazilian butt lift, or the BBL as it is called, as well as the use of PMAs used in these cosmetic procedures.
First of all, what is the Brazilian butt lift?
The BBL is a procedure that is done by a qualified surgeon who extracts fat deposits from certain areas of your body, like the stomach area or the lower back, wherever else fat can be found.
And that collected fat is then injected into the butt cheeks, otherwise known as the glutes.
In this article by scmp.com, they say that the BBL is one of the most requested forms of cosmetic surgery, and according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, there were 61,387 glute augmentations performed in the U.S. in 2021.
In 2020, just the previous year, there were 44,725 of the same.
Also, in 2020, there were an estimated 396,105 people worldwide who had gotten some form of buttock augmentation surgery.
And in 2021, there were more than 520,000 people worldwide who had some type of buttock augmentation done.
But most people who get this surgery are between 20 and 40 years old.
So you fit right in there, Scott.
Oh, great.
These surgeries usually take between two and four hours, and it's apparently permanent.
Yeah, I mean, you wouldn't want to be messing around with the healing process after you inject all that fat into your butt and then just like, oh, I'm going to take it out.
I mean, it just doesn't sound like a good idea.
I don't like the look.
Just install a flap so you can just remove it and then redistribute it as needed.
There you go.
Yeah, put little zippers in your buttocks.
Just stuff your butt at will.
But scmp.com says that the mortality rate from the BBL is as high as 1 in 3,000, which is greater than any other form of cosmetic surgery.
This sentiment is echoed in numerous articles and seems to be the general consensus.
I'll note here that these numbers will easily fluctuate based solely on the fact that the numbers we have are the operations performed by licensed physicians.
But when you take into account the number of unlicensed medical procedures being conducted, which there are said to be far more of them being done illegally than legally, then your numbers of loss of life and the risk of danger is increased exponentially.
It doesn't surprise me that people are willing to go to the lengths to have an illegal surgery performed or cheap, because I bet you a lot of these are cheaper than if you got a legitimate plastic surgery, say in like California or Florida or Miami or somewhere like that,
you know what I mean?
I'm sure there's other things, you know, besides just availability.
I'll bet you costs, like low cost, is a big draw.
Oh, absolutely.
And why are these operations, the BBL specifically, dangerous?
Like what's the actual danger?
Well, the leading cause of death due to the operation is usually a fat embolism.
And this is when fat gets put into the bloodstream, which then gets carried through the vessels and gets stuck and creates a blockage.
And this...
Often proves to be fatal.
Jeez. Yeah.
Yeah, that sounds terrible.
Yeah, because the fat that is taken from other areas of your body and then it gets injected into your bum bum, it needs to be expertly placed between the muscles and the skin.
And if this is not done right, it can easily be injected directly into the muscles, which you don't want.
The fat then travels through the muscle, through the blood, and eventually could reach the heart.
And it could lead to a cardiopulmonary collapse.
Damn, that sounds fucking dangerous as shit, actually.
Yeah, that's terrible.
Dangerous as shit.
So people are going to these people who have no real expertise in surgery and in really shoddy rooms that aren't set up for medical procedures.
So it's extra sketchy.
But between 2011 and 2016, there were a reported 25 deaths from BBLs performed by American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery members.
In 2020, the rate of mortality had decreased to 1 in 14,921.
There was a similar survey done by Brazilian plastic surgeons, which said that about 1 in 20,000 would be a casualty.
And in 2022, a similar survey I mean, for a betting person,
you might like those odds.
Yeah. But still, though, it does happen.
Quite often.
Because let's just zoom in over on Florida.
Let's do it.
An article in newbeauty.com in 2022 said that there were 19 deaths associated with BBLs in Florida alone since 2017.
And between 2013 and 2018, there were at least 8 patients that had died in one clinic.
Yeah, not a good record.
No. And in 2021 alone, there were 8 that had died in South Florida.
And apparently most of these surgeries happen in South Florida.
And one report said that since 2010, there had been 25 deaths caused by the BBL.
Damn! So this isn't something that's widely advertised.
Like after these surgeries and people die, I never hear about it.
So I wonder if like there's a large force out there like working to just keep these kind of things out in the news just so like these people...
Like I don't know if people know.
That's why we do what we do.
We're actually just bringing awareness.
To the public.
Well, yeah, there are groups of people who are against these things, like, anywhere.
Of course.
All right, well, what do you say we move on to the next story?
Yeah, let's check this next one out.
All right.
So this next one is about Dr. Mark Schreiber.
Mark Schreiber was a plastic surgeon in Florida who had made quite a few significant mistakes in his years of practice.
Back in 1988, Schreiber was placed on probation by Florida's Department of Health after he hella fucked up a dude's dick in a botched penis enlargement.
But more than that, he also gave this man a facelift at the same time.
Unfortunately, there were complications, and these complications caused the 51-year-old man to die.
Damn! What a horrible way to go.
Like, that has to be written on your tombstone?
Jeez. People crying at the eulogy.
He should have just left his dick the same.
His dick was fine!
His dick was fine!
He's got people screaming in the fucking crowd.
Stick was perfect.
I don't know why he did it.
It was all good.
Four years later, Scott, Schreiber again was in the spotlight from his homies at the health department.
This time, a 73-year-old man died after suffering a heart attack two days after he underwent a neck lift at Schreiber's office.
After dealing with some minor frustrations, it appears that he continued to practice until 2005 when his entire practice went under after numerous women came forward to make complaints along with a flurry of accusations.
One woman said that he had touched her in ways that she felt were inappropriate during a surgery that he was performing.
For all these accusations and complaints, his license would be suspended, but the man refused to stop practicing.
And about one year later, he would be forced to give up his license.
Like, physically?
Yeah, man.
They hired Butterbean to go in there and rough him up a bit until he handed it over.
I wouldn't fuck around with Butterbean.
Not even now, because he's like, what, 60 or something now?
Yeah, he's 56. He's actually talking about coming out of retirement from MMA to fight Jake Paul.
Oh, holy shit.
Yeah, I don't know about all that.
Jake Paul is in his prime right now, and Butterbean has been retired for a decade.
But not only that, he's also like 400 pounds.
He's like...
400 pounds.
Yeah. Yeah, fuck.
And Butterbean says that all he needs is one ear to get ready.
And he called Jake out already in a tweet, so...
Has Jake Paul responded?
I couldn't find anything on it.
There's a lot about Butterbean calling him out and wanting this to happen, but nothing on Jake's response to it, so I don't know.
Butterbean apparently has some buttered beef with Jake because back a few years ago, when Jake Paul was first getting all this attention for his fighting and all that, haters of his were saying that his fighting style was equivalent to Butterbean's or some shit like that.
And Jake didn't like that and said that, you know, they can all go fuck themselves and then Butterbean felt like that was a diss toward him, and so now Butterbean is calling him a problem child and is calling him out to fight.
He basically wants Jake Paul to bring him out of retirement for one last fight.
I mean, that would be quite a spectacle, and maybe Butterbean thinks, well, I might make some money on the side here.
Yeah, but back to Schreiber.
Schreiber would eventually be arrested for illegally practicing medicine on four different women.
One woman would later be awarded $7.7 million for being left with horrible scars.
He took a plea deal in which he only served two years.
When he was released from prison in 2010, despite not having his medical license, he continued to practice secretly.
Damn, he's got the itch, bro.
Just gotta make those cuts.
And I'm sure it was lucrative, too.
I'm sure people were lining up, willing to be like, I saw what you did to those other women.
I'll let you do it to me.
If you have a specific skill like that that not many have, people are gonna be like, hey, I will pay you top dollar.
Operate on me.
Totally. But he'd be arrested again, this time for drug possession charges.
And again, he took a plea deal.
He'd also been charged with one case of practicing illegal in a now-defunct Bella Beauty Spa.
The owner of that spa, Maribel Jimenez, was sentenced to six years in federal prison.
One of the other employees of the spa, Magalie Del Rosario, was sentenced to four years and eight months in federal prison.
In April of 2017, a Miami-Dade judge ordered both Schreiber and Jimenez to pay $818,000 in damages to a former patient of the Bella Beauty Spa, where an attempted Brazilian butt lift went south and caused the woman severe and permanent injuries.
He was also ordered to pay another $145,000 to another victim of a botched surgery, Stephanie Rodriguez.
Damn, it's just lining up for him.
But I mean, what did he expect?
He'd already been arrested.
Like, give it up, man.
But I guess the money was too easy.
And then in 2015, Schreiber went ahead and performed another operation without a license on a man who wanted to improve the size, shape, and overall eye appeal of his less-than-appealing penis.
During the operation, of which cost the man just $1,000 cash, The man had apparently gone unconscious, and when he had come to, he noticed many blood-soaked bandages laying around him, but what was even more alarming was that his penis had been mutilated,
according to court documents.
And it was at that point that the man took some dick pics, because what else are you going to do in times of distress?
Damn, though.
I mean, I don't even know if I'd want to look at it.
I'd just be like, get it away from me.
I look horrible.
Get it off!
Get it off!
No, keep it on, keep it on, keep it on.
Right, right, yeah.
Thinking that the surgery had gone well, the man sent these photos to Schreiber just to get his professional opinion on what he should do at that point.
Schreiber simply responded via text that instead of going to a hospital, the man should take two popsicle sticks and place them on either side of the mutilated penis and then tie them together, as one may do with a broken arm or something out in the wilderness, and wait for the swelling to go down.
Which it did not.
Damn, even after the splint, it was just no help.
Even with the splint.
The lawless doctor was arrested again on two counts of practicing medicine without a license and later pled guilty.
He was sentenced to serve 44 months in prison.
And in my unprofessional opinion, I think that this guy was treated far too leniently for his crimes time and again.
Yeah, honestly, he was like assault with a weapon, these people.
I know they willingly came in and paid him money.
But he didn't have a license, so they were like entrusting their physical well-being to this person that had been already arrested before that.
So currently, Scott, as we speak right now, there is a huge surge of British men and women, mostly women, who are in their 20s and 30s who are traveling to Turkey to partake in the ongoing madness of plastic surgery.
It's a literal zoo.
The Turkish government...
I'm sure, man.
All Earl Grey.
Just like a wave of Earl Grey.
Now, it's said that tens of thousands of Brits are traveling to Turkey for cheaper procedures.
But as we know, these cheaper procedures generally use substantially lower quality products.
And the end result is typically not what one originally envisioned.
So why Turkey?
So there have been a number of influencers and celebrities alike that have drawn attention to the country for the budget plastic surgery.
Some of these clinics that do these budget procedures are actually offering these all-inclusive packages, which includes all that touristy bullshit and hotel deals.
But Scott...
Say you want your asshole to look like a goat's eye, right?
Yeah. Where else are you going to get this plastic surgery done that would otherwise cost the price of a black market kidney or about 15 inches of, I don't know, say small intestine?
Um, Djibouti?
Africa? No, goddammit.
Turkey. Oh, right.
Sorry, bro.
Focus, man.
Focus. What are you doing over there?
Crosswords again.
Hmm, no, that doesn't fit there.
Oh my god.
Um, no?
What do you mean?
What do you mean, no?
I can see you right in front of me and you have a crossword book in one hand and a pencil in the other.
I can see you.
Oh, uh, you can see this?
Yeah, dude, I can see it.
How do you not realize that?
I'm literally four feet away from you, like, at all times, 24-7.
Damn. I, uh, wow, what a, like, I just did not see that.
This crossboarding is just out of control, man.
Bro, come on, man.
Like, I only do it, like, sometimes, man.
Like, you know, I do it less than I did before, man.
Like, just get off my back, bro.
Let's look back at some of the moments where crossboarding has caused some serious issues.
Like... That time on S-46 on Castletown on Staten Island.
Hey, there were plenty of other seats for that old lady to sit, alright?
Or that time in traffic when you blew through like five red lights.
How you didn't crash still astounds me.
Dude, there were technical glitches in those lights.
They were supposed to be green.
You could clearly see that.
And how about the time you burnt my toast?
Dude, the toaster is supposed to be on top of that.
That wasn't my fault.
Well, who turned the timer up then?
Probably Wayne Dale.
That's probably true.
Definitely is.
What the hell is this last clue here?
Man. Right.
I heard you say T-W-O, but that it didn't fit.
That's a three-letter word there, buddy.
Yeah, two letters too long.
All right, buddy.
Here, give me that crossword book thing.
Come on.
But I'm almost done with this one.
Hand it over to me, man.
It's for your own good.
I only have a few more to fill out.
More importantly, it's for our listeners' benefit.
It's almost finished.
Come on.
All right.
Hand it over.
Oh, man.
Here you go.
Good. That's a huge step, my friend.
Yeah, let it go.
Breathe it out.
Yeah. That's great work.
Really good.
You feel good now?
You feel better?
No. Aww.
Well, that's great.
Back to the geographical location.
That is Turkey and the tens of thousands of British people that go there every year just for the extremely cheap prices on all of the favorite flavors of plastic surgery.
Since 2019 and as of July 17th, 2023, There were 24 British people who had died as a direct result from plastic surgery procedures.
Damn, 24. So get this.
Obviously, there is a niche for everyone.
And the niche for these surgeons, who are sometimes legitimate doctors, is to lure people into Turkey so they can make some quick cash knowing they're not offering any money-back guarantee to those unlucky people who must already feel unlucky.
Hence... Man, such a cause, you know, such a personal, just a flame ignited that you would travel to this country and be like, I'm getting it done cheaper and I'm getting it done.
I'm getting it done.
You gotta feel good about it, I guess.
I guess.
But don't do it, people.
No, don't do it, people.
But if you are gonna do it, just make sure that whoever's doing it is a legitimate professional and wherever it's being done, it's being done clean.
And in a sterile environment, hopefully by a doctor with some kind of medical knowledge.
Exactly. And that it's in a professional environment and not someone's apartment or house or whatever.
Yeah, like no garage setups.
Not in the pool house.
Just don't do it.
Just forget about it, man.
Yeah, just don't do it.
Yeah, it's not worth it.
And these Turkish plastic surgeons are luring them in by offering these luxurious, all-inclusive packages at five-star hotels with...
Get this, Scott.
Get this.
Breakfast. Oh, man!
These offers also come with all the dank-ass food you can eat, the VIP access, the VIP transportation, and all the other amenities that go along with it, like an extra shower towel, and even free tours of historical sites such as Istanbul.
All for around the $3,200 price, or about 2,500 British pounds.
Or about 4,230 Canadian loonies.
Right, exactly.
Which is about the same as it would cost to rent a single-bedroom apartment just about anywhere in Canada where there is a population for two months.
Two months?
A single-bedroom apartment?
Two months?
In Canada?
$3,200?
That's straight robbery, bro.
Yeah, man.
That seems a bit steep, right?
For Canada?
I mean, for frickin' Canada.
And so these people are lured in with a false sense of feeling like a celebrity, feeling important, and we all know how that gets to some people's heads.
Oh, yeah.
And get this, there's even an OnlyFans star who is British herself, Phoebe Bartlett.
Who has exclusively partnered up with the country of Turkey to promote plastic surgery there.
Damn, that's hardcore, bro.
And you know what?
And I didn't know you could partner up with an entire country.
So with that said, the Paranautica podcast will team up with any country for any exclusive benefits.
Yes, we don't care what it is.
Let us partner with you.
National partnership.
Yes. You know what I find really interesting though?
How it is that Phoebe is able to partner up with Turkey, a predominantly Muslim country, who looked down on women doing exactly what she's doing as an OnlyFans model.
True, because I'm aware that porn in all its many forms is illegal in Turkey.
It's completely banned.
Anything that can be classified as obscene is banned.
So yeah, I don't know how she managed to get that partnership with Turkey.
That seems unlikely.
Exactly. And I did find a post on an expat website for Turkey from a woman who was a cam girl, much like Phoebe, who was wanting to move to Turkey, and she asked about the laws as it pertains to her method of making an income.
And she was basically told, yeah, don't go to Turkey if you're planning on being a cam girl because you will be arrested eventually and you will serve time in a Turkish jail or prison for it.
So again, how Phoebe is getting this special treatment from Turkey is questionable at the very least.
Yeah, I wonder, she's probably not even boots on the ground.
She's probably just doing it from afar.
I'm sure she doesn't live there.
For sure.
Exactly. Alright, so these packages they are selling to Phoebe's followers are in the thousands of dollars or pounds.
Well, part of Bartlett's partnership with Turkey includes 100 pounds off any qualifying plastic surgery for her fans.
And that's money, not weight.
What the hell can that cover anyways?
Based on some very extensive research, I found that you can get some microdermabrasion done or maybe some Botox in select cities.
Really not that much though.
Damn, not even the lips?
Nothing like that.
Hell no.
And after all the fun touristy stuff, the operation is ready to begin.
Many of these operations include the use of drugs that put the patient, or in most of these cases the victim, into a state of unconsciousness before surgery is conducted.
And this is when the nightmares truly begin.
In one case, there was a 60-year-old morbidly obese woman who completely relied on her wheelchair for any sort of mobility.
She also had numerous health issues to boot.
Regardless of these health and safety concerns that any competent doctor would quickly see and refuse to operate, the Turkish doctors were eagerly awaiting for some fresh skin to nip and tuck.
These Turkish doctors had offered this very unhealthy woman a 2-4-1.
She'd get a tummy tuck as well as some liposuction.
Oh, a twofer!
You can never, never turn down a twofer.
It's a rule.
Never. Yeah, I read that somewhere.
The doctors would quickly get to work while foregoing all the preliminary steps, such as sterilization of both the environment and her body.
And during the two-fer operation, things seemed to be going well.
At some point, though, her vitals would allegedly show signs that not all was fine.
The thing is, she was still well enough to leave the operation and head home.
The woman would just as soon book a return flight back to Britain, where she was immediately rushed to a hospital, where she would undergo a series of life-saving interventions aimed to stop not only deadly blood clots, but also flesh-eating infections.
Oh, God, yes, because MRSA is just, like, everywhere.
So if this place isn't sterile and clean, like, your odds of getting something like that are good.
They're very good.
Unfortunately, these interventions were not enough, and the woman was pronounced dead, another victim of a botched plastic surgery operation.
And obviously...
When foreigners travel to places like Turkey to get plastic surgery and the procedure ends in injury or death, it's virtually impossible for people to file any sort of lawsuit against the person or persons responsible.
And this is why we say, just don't do it.
But if you're gonna, make sure it's a qualified expert person.
Yes, a qualified doctor who is licensed to do cosmetic surgery.
And one that doesn't have blood on their hands, if you can find one.
Preferably. Yeah, if it's possible, absolutely.
But then again, just don't do it.
Just don't do it.
So you know what?
Let's finish this off with a couple of cases of plastic surgery that are particularly crazy.
These next two cases involve a couple of guys who killed people individually in different countries and then used plastic surgery to avoid being captured, or to attempt to avoid being captured, that is.
These guys are freaking nuts, man.
And honestly, we're only going to give brief mentions here because we'll be doing full episodes on each of these guys.
Right, yes, exactly.
So, the first case is about a guy named Igor Kuzmenko.
Or is it Igor?
It's Igor!
What hump?
He's like, I could...
Remember in that movie, he's like, I could fix that hump.
He's like, what hump?
And later, the hump moves to the other side.
It moves on the other side of him?
Wasn't that hump on the other side?
So funny.
What do you mean?
What are you talking about?
Great movie.
Anyway, Igor Kuzmenko from Russia.
He was actually fairly recently captured in October of 2020 after being on the run for 17 years.
It's said that he, along with his gang called Les Gangs.
It did work.
For 17 years, that is.
Yes, it did.
He was also charged with organized crime, attempted murder, infliction of grievous bodily harm, robbery, and arms trafficking.
It looks like he began trial with two other men in March of this year, 2023, and he is clearly facing a life sentence.
Honestly, I'm surprised he's not facing execution.
I know, man.
You know, but apparently death sentences and executions haven't happened in Russia since August 2nd, 1996, as far as we know.
You know, they carry out their executions.
They just lead you in an empty cell that's designated execution chamber, and then they just shoot you in the back of the head.
Yeah. And I'm not sure if Russia was like the U.S. in that they'd set an execution date so that you would know when you're going to be executed.
But I know that Japan does not do this.
And one day out of the blue, if you're a prisoner with a death sentence, they just come get you wherever you are and just bring you to your death.
That's apparently only by hanging.
Yep. And you know what else?
How do we know Russia isn't executing their prisoners and just saying that they don't do it anymore?
That's what I'm saying.
How would anyone know?
You know what I mean?
Especially at places like Leferdovo Prison and Black Dolphin.
Plus, the vast majority of their prisons are secret prisons anyway.
We don't even fucking know about them.
Exactly. And to answer your question, I don't think we would know.
And you make a great point.
But we should move on to the next and final guy.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
The last story for today is about a guy that is relatively well-known in the world of true crime.
But he also used plastic surgery to avoid capture.
His name is Tatsuya.
Ichihashi. I love the Japanese names.
Absolutely. Unlike Igor in our previous mention, Tatsuya was only able to avoid capture for nearly three years.
Also, unlike Igor or Igor, he was only wanted for killing one person.
And perhaps more importantly, her name was Lindsay Hawker, and she was 22 years old at the time of her very brutal murder.
The setting took place in Japan, where Lindsay was teaching English, and the year was 2007.
Tatsuya was described as a loner who graduated from the Department of Horticulture and he was 28 years old at the time.
The murderer was horrifically violent.
Tatsuya had a black belt in martial arts and it appeared that Lindsay, who also had experience in martial arts, had suffered from a brutal and prolonged physical attack until finally being strangled to death, breaking the cartilage in her neck.
So it appears that he had used her as a punching bag for a good deal of time before finally ending her life.
Fucking terrible.
There are many more details, but we want to save those, of course, for the full episode, which is coming up.
At some point after the murder, like very soon after, the police had come upon Tetsuya, and he was able to escape after running through the labyrinth of streets.
I mean, this guy is crazy, right?
Yeah. He was on the lam for nearly three years, and during that time, he had numerous operations of plastic surgery, which included a nose lift, the removal of noticeable moles on his cheeks, He had folds added to his eyelids, and he actually thinned both of his lips, and to me, he definitely looked different,
bro. He definitely did, man.
He had folds added to his eyelids.
That's pretty crazy.
But, like so many others, he was eventually caught in 2009 while trying to board a ferry to Okinawa.
And for those people who don't know what a ferry is, a ferry is a type of boat used to transport people from port to port.
So pretty crazy stuff, man.
But yeah, we'll be covering each of those stories on their own at a later date.
Yep, yep.
Oh, and by the way, to answer the question you posited at the start of this episode, quote, is there a money back guarantee question?
Yes, is there?
Well, the chances that you'll get your money back after a botched plastic surgery operation and say Turkey are extremely unlikely, so probably not.
Ah, yes, yes.
I'm sure there are some safeguards in place in the U.S. for that sort of thing, like insurance and shit.
But going overseas and getting these procedures done in someone's house or apartment...
After you pay them cash, yeah, good luck with getting your money back.
Good luck getting anything back.
Great point.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, will bring a close to today's episode.
We hope you did enjoy it.
We absolutely do, and we hope that you come back next week where we'll have a fresh clay tablet inscribed with cuneiform to read aloud out into the airwaves to reach all the beautiful ear holes.
Yeah, and it should be a good one.
It should be, yeah.
Hopefully it will be.
We're always trying to do our best here, and one thing to keep in mind, ladies and gentlemen, we don't...
Eat food on air.
Hell nah.
There's nothing more maddening than listening to a podcast and hearing the host or hosts eating food with all the sounds that come with it.
We will not do that here.
We can make that promise to you right now.
Oh, absolutely, man.
And I can't...
Oh, man.
Anytime I come across one where that happens, it's done.
It's turned off.
I will never listen to it again.
That shit ruins it for me.
Fellow podcasters, please, please, for the love of the listener's sanity and comfort, do not eat food or whatever else while you record your shows.
Seriously, it's the worst thing to hear when you're trying to listen to a podcast.
I honestly cannot understand how some of these podcasts get to where they are.
These people are constantly stuffing their gullets, talking at the same time.
It is, man.
I agree.
Anyways. Guys and gals, listeners, lovers, haters, whoever you are, don't forget to like, share, and subscribe to the Paranautica Podcast wherever you listen in.
Please email us at paranautica at gmail.com.
That's P-A-R-A-N-A-U-G-H-T-I-C-A at gmail.com.
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With that said, thank you once again, ladies, gentlemen, guys and dolls, bugs and germs.
