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June 26, 2024 - Dr. Oz Podcast
42:51
Is Waist Training Safe? Dr. Oz Investigates Health Risks | Dr. Oz | S6 | Ep 113 | Full Episode
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Today on Oz.
What would you do for the perfect hourglass figure?
Waist training is the hot new trend for your body.
Squeezing into a corset for 12 or more hours a day.
How do you even get it on?
But at what risk to your health?
Dr. Oz investigates.
Plus, trapped in his own body, unable to move or communicate, his mystery illness and how he finally broke free.
Coming up next on Dr. Oz.
Today I'm asking the question, what would you do for the perfect hourglass figure?
Would you squeeze into a corset for 12 or more hours a day knowing it might put your health at risk?
There's a trend sweeping the nation called waist training and today I'm investigating whether it's safe.
Kim Kardashian got the internet buzzing after posting this Instagram of her ample figure cinched inside a tight corset.
But this wasn't just some fashion statement.
Kim is the latest to jump on the waist training bandwagon.
Joining other shape-conscious celebs like Brooke Burke, Jessica Alba and Snooki.
Originally made popular during the Victorian era, women are once again pulling, squeezing, and tightening their way into corsets, sometimes wearing them for up to 12 hours a day.
Waist trainers believe this regimen will permanently shrink their waistline while reshaping their big hips and bottoms, all while simultaneously suppressing their appetites.
This trend has even taken social media by storm, with hundreds of thousands of women posting photos of their own waist getting the corset squeezed.
But how safe is this age-old practice for the perfect hourglass figure?
And can it really work without harming your body?
Tawana is joining me.
She's been waist training for a year and a half.
So what kinds of results have you seen?
I've lost like about 15 pounds and I've gone from a size 30 waist to a 24. I have a picture of you from before.
Let me just look at this for a second.
You actually look pretty good in this image.
What have you got to thinking that maybe you ought to do some of this waist training?
You don't look overweight there.
Thank you.
So what prompted you to even try doing this waist training?
Well, it was a phenomenon that was going on and I just wanted to try it out and see how it would go.
I tried it and I saw substantial results and I've been doing it ever since.
And for the audience to know, fans of waist training say that actually doesn't just help you lose weight, it literally scopes your body, reshapes you.
Yes.
What they argue virtually no effort.
Mm-hmm.
Has that been your experience?
No, it's no effort.
It is an effort because it's an ongoing thing that I do.
And thus far, like I said, I've seen the results and I've been going with it ever since.
And how often do you wear the corset?
I wear it about 18 hours a day.
18 hours a day?
Yes, 18 hours a day.
Are you wearing one now?
Yes, I am.
Oh my good, that is really, that's not uncomfortable.
It looks like it's really squeezing.
It was at first, but now I'm used to it.
And you've got a couple.
These are all yours, by the way, right?
Yes, they are.
This one I use when I'm working out because it has like a little elasticity in it.
So it's good because it traps in the heat.
This one I use during the day, the course of the day, or even in the evenings.
And this one is the one usually when I'm out and about, I'll use it because it's the most constricting.
This isn't going to do very well on me.
How do you even get it on?
Well, it's a process, but I've gotten to, you know, be able to do it a little easier.
At first, my husband used to have to help me, but now I've gotten it to a science, so I'm okay with it.
Does he like when you're wearing this, that you're not irritable?
Oh my God, no, he hates it.
He's like, take that thing off!
That's what I think I'd say to you.
Come over here.
Now, folks say it's harmless, but I want to show you what it could be doing to your insides.
I just want you to be clear about this because, again, it's such a trend right now.
So many people are trying it.
Right.
That it's a message I think we all ought to have at least together.
So I made a little animation.
So here's the corset, right?
You're squeezing it down.
Here's what's happening on the inside.
Okay.
First of all, you're squeezing on the lungs.
Right.
That can hinder your ability to take those deep breaths, reducing the flow of oxygen.
It also will squeeze your stomach.
See your stomach over here being squeezed?
Okay.
There's two things.
One, you might lose the weight because you're not as hungry, but you'll also push some of that acid back up into the esophagus.
That's called reflux.
Right.
GERD. Mm-hmm.
Which I don't know if you experienced.
And then see the ribs here being molded in?
Oh, wow.
They actually will be shifted, giving you that perfect hourglass appearance, but at the cost of compressing a lot of these organs.
Mm-hmm.
Organs that aren't supposed to be squeezed on.
Right.
This is the theoretical problem.
Oh, wow.
But I didn't want to stay at theoretical.
Okay.
I wanted to actually find out what's really happening in women who are wearing corsets.
So, Tuana, you were kind enough to be part of this.
Yeah.
And I sent you to my colleagues at Stand Up MRI here in Manhattan, and we screened you first without the corset.
So we took, you know, just took you regularly into the machine there.
You are getting the MRI done.
Then when you had you put the corset on, and we redid the study.
The exact same study.
In order to figure out what was really happening inside of you.
So let me first show you your baseline.
Sure.
Which the good news is you look normal on the inside without a corset on.
Here you are.
There's your spine, right?
Here's the liver over here, some of your internal organs, your kidneys down here.
Now those key organs where there's supposed to be diaphragms right up there where your lungs are, that black stuff up there are your lungs.
That's your baseline.
What do you think we found when we repeated the MRI with the corset on?
Probably some contouring of the organs.
I'm thinking.
I don't know.
I'm hoping it's not too bad.
A little trepidation?
Yeah, a little.
All right.
So here's the image after the MRI. Okay.
It was done with the corset on.
A couple comparison points, and we'll go through these carefully, and some of them sort of confirm what you're finding.
Sure.
Your waist size actually shrunk by about two inches, but at a cost.
The diaphragm, see up there?
They're pushed up about two inches compared to over there.
The other solid organs, the liver, gallbladder, the kidneys, they're all pushed up.
There's a kidney right here.
It's pushed up with the corset here, squeezing everything to go up.
It's also squeezing all your intestines, stomach over here, and they point something out that I was really stunned by.
Okay.
You see the little indentations here in the liver?
Yes.
They're not over there.
See the liver over there smooth?
Oh, yeah.
These are little bites here.
Right.
That's the rib cage literally being shoved into the side of the liver.
Wow.
I never actually imagined that these corsets would do that.
But the thought that something is actually molding your inner organs and pushing your ribs into them is an issue for me.
Right.
For me, too.
You want to learn a little bit more?
Yes, I would.
All right, so if you don't mind sitting down.
Sure.
I'm going to go talk to a world expert in this area, and then I'm going to come back and talk to you again.
Yes.
Thank you so much.
So thank you very much for letting us do this.
All right, board-certified bariatrician Dr. Nicole Florence has researched the waist-training trend, and she joins me now.
So let's answer the question that women are asking right up front.
Is it possible that wearing a corset will help you lose weight?
You know, there is no clinical evidence to support that theory.
We know, as you said, that you can compress the waist, squeeze the stomach, you won't be as hungry, won't eat as many calories, and possibly lose weight, but it has never been proven to be a safe, healthy method to do so.
Nevertheless, Tawana has reshaped her body.
I mean, what's going on?
How can you even begin to explain that as a physician?
Well, those images are just so impressive, and what it tells us is if you compress and restrict the body long enough, it will conform.
Now, the question is, is that going to be permanent?
We're not sure, but we know that the body will conform to that compression, and it's just not healthy.
So, could waist training be a gateway to eating disorders?
Well, I think it's definitely possible.
You know, we always have to ask these women, what is your goal?
And if there are self-esteem issues, distorted body image issues, you know, you get to the point where these women will go to any length to create a perfect body that they may never achieve.
So it's a huge issue.
So what are your biggest concerns?
Is this dangerous, do you think?
There are a lot of serious health concerns.
We know that, as you showed in those images, when you press against the lungs, you are at risk for recurrent pneumonia.
If the colon can't move freely, there's severe constipation.
And if you can't return blood flow to your heart, it's going to affect your blood pressure, cause dizziness, and even fainting.
You know, that was where the origin of fainting couches came from back in the day.
Oh, you're kidding me.
Yeah, they used to have couches women could collapse onto in the middle of events.
Absolutely.
So they could fall safely.
The things women will do to themselves.
It's amazing.
So if it's okay, I'm going to go back and talk to our women.
Because I want to find out how we've influenced a few women who are trying waist training.
And again, I'm not arguing against the results.
I'm worried about the possible consequences.
So Jasmine, I'll start with you.
You've been waist training for about three months now.
Yes.
I'd like to know what it's been like for you, but whether this conversation has also influenced you is important to me.
It has influenced me quite a bit.
I did not know that.
Will I continue?
Yes.
I do love the results.
It helps me tremendously with my workouts.
It is something I will sit on and think about health-wise.
How does it help with your workouts?
It helps me sweat.
Actually, it increases my perspiration.
So definitely in that sense, it helps me with my workouts as well as my posture.
It has helped my posture tremendously.
Well, thank you for your honest feedback on that.
Thank you.
Jim, you've been waist training for about a year now.
Yes.
I haven't been doing race training for a year and it has helped my posture because I'm a secretary so I do a lot of sitting and it has helped suppress my appetite.
I have sensational results and I got taken back with the feedback.
The MRI scan.
The MRI scan and I'm just going to You know, dial back a little bit about my hours because I usually train for about eight hours with the waist center and I work out with it.
So I can, you know, go down a little less.
Fair enough.
Let me turn to our original guest, Tawana.
Yes.
We used your body as the example of the MRI scan.
Right.
We've got some feedback from physicians.
I understand how alluring this is.
What do you think?
I'm kind of with the other ladies.
I feel the same.
Like, I saw the results and I know that now maybe I need to slim back some on some of the hours.
But as far as the results, like, I've tried weight sit-ups and different types of exercises and has never contoured my abdominal area like this has.
So I think I'm with them.
I'm gonna skim back some on the hours, but I think I will continue to wear it, just not as much.
Well, you're all in unison on this.
You've all had good results.
Let me offer, if I can, some thoughts.
I understand why women may long for a perfect hourglass figure.
I just don't think constricting your abdomen and possibly putting your health at risk is the best option.
At least do what these women are doing, which is scaling back.
But revisit whether you should be doing it at all.
Be right back.
Next, a healthy boy stuck with a mystery illness left him speechless and unable to move.
Assumed he couldn't comprehend or respond, he became trapped in his own body.
How he broke free and came back to life is a story of hope and determination.
Next.
Put a little love in your heart.
All month long, the ultimate guide to heart health.
The power to save your heart is in your hands.
All this February on the Dr. Oz Show.
Imagine the horror of being locked in your own body, unable to move, talk, or communicate in any way.
People think you're in a vegetative state, but secretly you're aware of everything that is happening around you.
How would you survive emotionally?
This happened to Martin Pistorius, who calls himself Ghost Boy.
Growing up, Martin Pistorius was a happy and healthy little boy.
But when he was 12 years old, he came down with a mysterious illness that quickly took over his entire body.
In a matter of months, Martin was unable to speak, move his body, or communicate.
And doctors did not know what had caused it.
For years, Martin was in a virtual coma.
But two years into his vegetative state, Martin actually started to come back to life.
But no one in the outside world knew it.
Not his doctors, nor his family.
As the years went by, Martin became completely aware of the world around him.
But still powerless to communicate in any way.
Then, a very perceptive nurse realized there was something very alive in Martin.
She urged his parents to explore alternative ways of communicating with him.
So they bought him a computer loaded with communication software.
Martin learned to use symbols and pictures to represent words, and an infrared beam attached to a band around his head to choose the symbols.
He was then able to put together complete sentences.
Today, at 39, Martin's mind and body are much stronger.
He's now able to type what he wants to say on a standard keyboard.
Although he still can't speak with his natural voice, I am able to communicate with my computer voice.
Martin Vistorius has told his terrifying and beautiful story in his memoir, Ghost Boy, and I'm honored to welcome him to the show today.
Thank you for being here.
Now, I just want to support everybody.
Since Martin speaks to his computer, I did give him my questions ahead of time, and he's programmed his answers, which I appreciate you doing.
So, I'll start off with a question I'm sure we're all asking.
You're a healthy boy.
You have this completely unknown, still to this day, mysterious neurologic condition that knocks out your ability to do anything.
You're trapped in your body.
What did it feel like for all those years?
It is difficult to describe because there are so many emotions that it is overwhelming.
But by far the worst for me was the complete and utter powerlessness.
The fact that I had absolutely no control or say over what happened to me.
Every single aspect of my life was controlled and decided by someone else.
So what would you do day in and day out for all that time to occupy your mind, to keep busy when you're trapped and no one knows it?
I often spent my days positioned in front of the TV watching Barney reruns hour after hour, day after day.
To this day I hate Barney.
I escaped into my mind where I could live in my imagination.
You know, I gotta say, my children were young when Barney first came out, and although I do appreciate what he did for me, there's a point of resistance we all face.
Obviously, I can only imagine what it was like for your parents.
It takes a great toll on them.
May I read something from the book?
I think a breaking point for your mother that you described so poetically.
The book really is poetry on pages.
Mom was left crying on the floor.
She looked so alone, so confused, so desperate.
Mom looked at me.
Her eyes were filled with tears.
You must die, she said.
You must die.
You have to die.
I long to leave my life because hearing those words was more than I could bear.
I can't imagine the pain of hearing a mother who loves you Telling you that you have to die, you must die, you have to die.
How are we able to forgive her?
Obviously in that moment that was a really difficult thing to hear, particularly coming from my mom.
I was shocked and upset by it of course, but I never felt any hard feelings towards my mother for saying that.
And if I'm honest, it wasn't something I hadn't already thought about.
I think what probably upset me more wasn't what she said, but that we were in a situation where she felt that everyone would be better off if I wasn't alive.
I feel sad when I think back and remember all the feelings and upset that everyone was feeling.
I am not angry or resentful or anything like that.
In fact, I feel enormous compassion and love for my mum.
It was a really hard time for her.
Well, the compassion is the emotion that comes from you.
I would have been, certainly at the time, bitter about it.
Martin had many wonderful caregivers, I should point out.
He talks about them.
After many years, and this is the big breakthrough, one of them noticed he might be more aware Than anyone else thought.
Everyone thought you were locked in, but you were actually, or not have been there, but in fact this woman noticed that you were there.
Tests were done, and Martin's miracle that you're witnessing.
I'm gonna shake your hand, just to point out the fact that he can raise his hand and shake my hand.
I mean, it's unbelievable.
So how would your life begin, I mean, how would you begin to soar in life once you could communicate again?
My world exploded back to life.
And while it was not without challenges, I made friends, my body slowly got stronger.
I got a job.
I was able to go to school and graduated with a computer science degree.
I was even awarded a scholarship from Google.
It's incredible I am truly happy now, life is worth living again.
So, Martin's life took another turn.
I should let you know about an amazing turn when you fell in love.
Jonah, your wife, you married in 2009, is joining us.
Jonah, why do you think you had such a strong, powerful, intimate connection with Martin?
I think it's because we accepted one another for who we are.
We were really honest and were able to listen to one another without any judgment.
And that helped us to share our innermost feelings.
It also did help that he was very cute.
You know, you've got a fantastic marriage.
I should point out they also have a healthy sex life.
They hope for kids.
I must say, I think this story is about hope.
It's about the fact that how crazy and terrible life sometimes seems, there's always opportunities for us to find ourselves in that, to find people who can support us through it, to forgive people who may have unwittingly hurt us in their desperation, and to move on and have compassion for all those who can support us.
I am so proud to have met you.
Thank you for giving us to join us, thank you.
Martin's book, Ghost Boy, is available now.
We'll be right back.
Whoo!
Thank you, Nathan.
Are you looking to curl up and get comfy with something special?
Maybe something cheesy, creamy or sweet.
Make a date with some amazing meals that will satisfy all your cravings without the guilt trip.
Delicious recipes for healthy comfort foods.
coming up next.
We just launched a Total Choices It's a program for everyone who wants to lose weight while eating delicious food and not even thinking about it.
That's why today, as part of my Total Choice plan, I have the guilt-free comfort foods.
I know Valentine's Day is coming up, and I know for many of you, your first true love is actually comfort food.
Alexis, count yourself in that group.
How are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
So why is it so important to have these comfort foods that you love, and what can we do to maybe make that better?
Dr. Oz, it's really hard out here eating healthy.
Since Christmas, I've lost about 12 pounds, and I'm eating clean, whole foods, but I want it to be a lifestyle and not a diet.
But it feels like a diet when I can't have the things that I want that are delicious, like comfort food.
Yeah, you don't just want comfort food, you want guilt-free comfort food.
Yes, I don't want to feel like a pig the next day.
Okay.
So here's what we're going to do.
We're going to play our own version of the dating game.
But Alexis, instead of picking a man, she's going to choose the guilt-free comfort food she wants to have on a date tonight.
I can have both?
You can have both.
The man comes along, but you actually want the comfort food.
We know what you're interested in.
So where are you going to go on that date, you think?
Well, Thursday night, my favorite show comes on.
So my living room couch with this guilt-free comfort food and wine.
Oh, very romantic.
Yes, with myself.
With yourself.
Give me the rules of the game so we all are clear on this.
On the other side of the little curtain over there, just a few inches from you, are three guilt-free comfort foods that could be yours.
But you're not going to get to see them yet.
What you're going to do is, based solely on the descriptions that are given to you as you ask them questions, have to pick one.
Are you up for this?
I think I am.
All right.
They're all gonna describe why they are guilt-free comfort foods.
Let's get started.
Comfort food number one, please introduce yourself to Alexis.
Hello Alexis.
Let me tell you a little bit about myself.
I'm creamy, warm, and a very tasteful delight.
Ooh.
That was erotic.
That was nice.
Comfort food number two, say hello.
Hey Alexis, how you doing?
People tell me I'm flaky, but who says that has to be such a bad thing?
Sounds like pie.
What a personality.
Might be pie.
I hope he's talking about the food.
Alright, comfort food number three.
Say hi to Alexis.
Hi Alexis.
I'm sweet and savory, and that's why you should pick me.
Mmm.
These voices.
I know.
They took us a long time.
You know, you have to match personalities for the foods.
Alright, are you ready to begin?
Yes.
Take it away.
Ask away.
Comfort food number one.
First, tell me what makes you guilt-free.
Well, Alexis, I cut back on the fat, calories, but not on the taste.
I also use some whole grains just to throw a little extra fiber for you.
Just for you.
I do like fiber.
They do care for you.
I do like fiber.
Gosh.
All right.
Comfort food number two.
Tell me why I can eat this and not feel a pang of guilt.
Well, Alexis, I'm super lean, which means I'm low in fat, low carb, and filled with succulent vegetables.
Succulent vegetables and super lean.
All right, I like this.
This is a great game.
I love this.
You make it sound so good.
All right.
Come for food number three.
What is your secret ingredient that makes you so healthy?
Well, Alexis, I added healthy fats to my ingredients because I care about your heart.
He really is sweet, that number three.
Romance.
This is such a hard decision.
Take one more round of questions.
Comfort food number one.
After a long day at work, I want a comfort food that soothes my stress.
How can you do that?
Well, I'll be hot and ready right out of the oven.
I love number one.
He's coming on strong.
He knows exactly what late he's in.
All right.
This is going to be hard.
It's going to be.
It's hard these comfort foods are going to go free.
It's hard.
Comfort food number two.
I want a comfort food that takes a long time to eat and keeps me satisfied.
How will you do that?
Well, Alexis, I'm notorious for lasting much longer than my fellow counterparts.
That one.
That one.
You can wrap me up and save me for later.
I think I'm done.
I think it might be that one.
Give the sweet guy a chance now, number three.
Okay, number three.
A comfort food has got to taste good.
Comfort food number three, how can you satisfy my craving?
Well, Alexis, I'm the last part of your meal and the best part of your meal, but my ingredients also include a natural aphrodisiac.
Wait a minute.
This is really hard.
Now, before you decide, I'm just going to caution you as a doctor in the house, that we've vetted all three of these comfort foods.
They all fit the nutritional and calorie guidelines for our total choices plan.
So they fit in completely.
You can pick any one you want.
Ready for a drum roll?
Let's hear it, guys.
Who's it going to be?
Who is the lucky comfort food?
Comfort food number one.
Number one?
Yes.
She picks number one!
Because he was warm and sensual.
Maybe I should have picked the aphrodisiac one.
I don't know.
Before we meet number one, I want you to see what you missed out on.
Comfort food number two, come on up here and explain what she missed.
This is a chicken pot pie.
Ooh!
And describe chicken pot pie a little before us.
What are you liking most about it?
It's super lean, low-fat, low-carb, stuffed with lean chicken and vegetables.
It smells really good.
Yeah, but that's not yours tonight.
Thank you very much, number two.
Bye!
Number three, come on up!
You did not pick number three.
Although he was the last and best part of your meal.
Alexis, chocolate fudge.
Brownies, chocolate suck.
Don't touch the merchandise.
That looks pretty good.
You did a great job.
Delicious.
Smells good.
Gently wafting, but it's not yours.
I'm going to come get that.
No, you can't.
That's not how it works.
Thank you, number three.
Backstage.
All right.
Are we ready now?
Let's see, Alexis, you pick comfort food number one.
Perfect than a cold night on the couch.
Come on over, number one.
It's rich and creamy mac and cheese.
Don't worry about the other two.
I have mac and cheese for you.
I love carbs.
Yeah, are you proud of your choice?
I am proud of my choice.
You did a very good.
So, I can't have both, right?
You know what, you can have both.
Is that okay?
It comes to the ride.
You may see that, Alexis.
All right.
You can find all these easy recipes for all these comfort foods, along with the whole Total Choices plan at Dr. Oz.com.
We'll be right back.
Next, do you have a bad temper, quick to see red and explode with rage?
Did you know anger takes a physical toll on our bodies?
Learn how to identify your triggers and regain control.
The Anger Diet, to help anyone lengthen their short fuse, is coming up next.
Put a little love in your heart.
All month long, the ultimate guide to heart health.
The power to save your heart is in your hands.
All this February on the Dr. Oz Show.
Think about the last time you got angry.
Your pulse picks up, your breathing becomes shallow, you feel out of control, and you're seeing red.
There's no doubt anger takes a physical toll on our bodies.
Not to mention it can leave us feeling pretty guilty after the fact.
My next guest wants to do something to lengthen her short fuse.
Take a look.
This is a mess.
Do your routine!
I admit I have a short fuse.
Do your homework!
Is that something you forgot?
I'm a working mother, I have five kids, so I have a lot to juggle.
I'm always on edge.
The slightest thing can set me off.
Are you finished?
The last child I had was about 12 months ago.
And I have joked my husband that I have postpartum rage and not postpartum depression.
If the milk spills, catastrophe.
If I forget something at the store, I lose it.
When I'm in the car, I can't take this.
I have bouts of road rage.
I can really yell there because I don't have kids to hear me curse.
I will honk my horn so that the person in front of me knows that I'm annoyed.
Move it!
Then, of course, I take out my frustration on my husband.
No, I didn't.
I know it's not fair, but when he comes in the door, he's the first adult that I can reasonably take my frustrations out on.
I really don't want my kids to see me as this angry person.
My youngest son, Aiden, is acting out, and I know it's from me because I am short-tempered.
I sometimes feel that I'm setting a bad example.
I hate having such a short fuse.
I seriously need to get this under control.
Pretty crazy when you see it, isn't it?
Yes, yes.
The kids are cute.
Oh, thank you.
That's why I have so many of them.
That's right.
You always describe yourself as being on the verge of losing it.
But how do you lose control?
What happens?
Usually the first response is I yell, holler.
Maybe I'm, you know, if I just tripped over a bunch of shoes, I throw that, you know, and it's like, what's going on here?
Yeah, and we're usually always in a hurry, so it's like, as we're tripping out the door, I'm yelling everyone along.
What's the aftermath like?
Usually remorse on my part.
And then my communication breaks down.
If we just had a spell or I was angry and I yelled, I feel like I can't come back from that and communicate properly with the kids or my husband.
The outcome is I have nothing else to say after I've exploded.
You want to explode it yourself.
Yeah.
Let me take it back to the truth, too.
I wanted to check a couple things on you.
And I looked in the most obvious place, because you think about blood pressure when you think about yourself bursting out.
So I wanted to know what was going on with yours.
Okay.
So we checked your blood pressure just before the show.
Yes.
And it actually is 119 over 81. Okay.
Which is picture perfect.
Good.
Okay.
That's very good, isn't it?
Yes.
I just...
Can I keep it there?
Like...
Well, since you're so clever, the question is why am I telling you that you're normal?
So, if your blood pressure jumps up the way I think it does, when you're angry at your husband and all the other small things like that, your blood pressure will go up into the 144 to 96 range.
That number is high blood pressure.
Oh.
Now, one of the challenges we face in our country is that we only check the blood pressure when we're trying to have you in a calm spot.
Right.
So we miss those bigger numbers.
Yeah.
But when your blood pressure goes high, especially if it was already high to begin with, you can have bleeding as blood vessels burst.
Right.
Obviously, it scars the arteries, leading to hardening of the arteries over time.
And there's this whole issue about the guilt that follows it.
That actually breaks your heart.
Yeah, that's one of the biggest things that I feel like I failed in that moment to be a good example and to relate to my kids.
I mean, I try to have fun with them, like I make efforts to have fun with them, and then it's lost when I lose it and I'm screaming at them to get out the door or why did they get rolling mud?
Let's face it, it feels pretty good when you get angry because the kids rolled in mud, right?
Right.
It's like indulging in a piece of chocolate cake.
Yes.
At the moment, it just feels like the right thing.
You feel vindicated.
And I'm not saying never to do it, because that's what it calls for.
Like, I would never say never to have chocolate cake.
But if you gorge on anger, like you're gorging on a chocolate cake sometimes in our lives, metaphorically, it does cause permanent damage.
Right.
So that's the challenge.
Yes.
I don't want that to happen.
Okay.
I don't want that to happen.
You don't.
All right.
So you're willing to make some commitments today so we can get involved in this.
Yes, definitely.
All right.
We're going to put you on an interesting program.
It's designed by renowned psychiatrist Sue Varma, who's joining us.
She has an anger diet that anyone can follow, anybody, everyone at home as well, to make sure that your fuses last a little longer.
We're going to elongate that fuse a bit.
Varma diet is usually about restricting calories.
It's about, you know, putting boundaries on you.
But you say we actually need an anger diet.
Describe that.
Yes.
And Tricia, as I'm watching the tape, I can 100% relate to what you're saying.
As a working mom myself, dealing with toilet training, sleep training, sometimes I feel like I want to just pull my hair out, right?
But, and I can get why anger in the short term helps you resolve the issue.
It does release a little bit of endorphins.
The difference is that there's something called productive anger and unproductive anger.
Believe it or not, anger in small amounts, if it helps lead to a solution, brings people closer together, can be helpful.
However, too much too often alienates people.
Okay.
And I'm going to give you a sort of three-phase plan that's going to help you realize that you can prevent anger.
There's something you can do when you start to get angry.
And then once you're angry and it's done, and then you talk about the remorse, what you can do after that.
Okay.
All right.
When we come back, we're going to walk through all three stages of the anger diet.
Stay with us.
Next.
Do you lose your cool at the drop of a hat?
Give in to road rage or snap at your kids?
Don't let anger put your body under physical and emotional stress.
Learn the steps to prevent outbursts before they happen.
The plan for everyone who wants to manage chronic anger.
Next.
If you feel like you lose your cool at the drop of a hat, honking the horn in a bout of road rage, you're snapping at your kids all the time, then you've honking the horn in a bout of road rage, you're snapping at your kids And you can benefit from Dr. Barma's anger diet.
The first step is all about preventing anger before it happens, and it's your plan around your triggers part.
That's important.
If you plan around the triggers, you'll never get trapped by them.
Another big trigger, you mentioned this actually earlier in the tape, is when your husband comes home.
And I'm sort of fascinated by this because you acknowledge he's the first adult you see, so that's part of the problem.
But how does that affect your marriage when you're snapping at him?
And you feel like you're not being heard.
Is that part of the issue?
Yes, and he just seems to hit the right buttons, I guess.
Sometimes he doesn't, it's just he's in the wrong place at the wrong time.
You know, maybe we've had a lot to do that day, and he hasn't been a part of any of what I've gone through, and if there's something that he didn't do, like, you know, pay a bill or take out the trash, then I'd have to let him know first thing, because that will release all the anger that's been building up all day.
Because you felt ignored.
Yes.
And then it just perpetuates the bad communication.
Then I don't...
So, Dr. Barber, how does a woman who's busy and stressed out over it deal with the fact that they don't feel like they're being heard without getting angry?
Yes.
Well, you know, Tricia, that's not easy.
So first recognize that, right?
And then ask yourself, what is the aim of this conversation, right?
So if the aim is to get closer, to feel heard, to feel understood, then anger is not going to solve that.
Why?
Because the anger is going to lead to defensiveness in the other person.
The other person hears that as a form of criticism.
So what we want to do is try to avoid that by using what we call the XYZ technique, which is in situation X, when you do Y, I feel Z. So that takes it away from kitchen sinking or character assassination to say to your husband you're an all bad person, which is Probably not the case.
You wouldn't be with him, I'd assume, right?
So you want to then make it very specific.
And Dr. Oz, when you were talking about planning around knowing what your triggers are, I really want you to go home this week and actually write down top three triggers.
And if your husband is one of them, have that conversation with him.
How about he always forgets to take out the trash?
Like, always.
And I find trash spilling out.
Like, am I the only one that sees that?
So how would I deal with that trigger?
Because I can't...
What's your husband's name?
Bob.
Okay, so you're going to say, when you get home this evening, you're going to say, Bob, I love you.
You're the best.
This is a sandwich technique.
I'm listening carefully here.
You start out with the bread is the nice part, right?
And then the meat is where you're going to stick it to him, but nicely, right?
Right.
Bob, I love you.
You're awesome.
You're the best husband.
Right.
However, XYZ technique, when you leave the trash and I come home and I see it overflowing, I feel what?
Feel that word for me.
Disrespected, ignored, something, right?
Inconvenience, infuriated.
The list could go on, right?
But let's keep it short, right?
And then you're going to end with something nice, to say, you're a great dad, you're a great provider, you're a great husband, I love you.
And then you give him an opportunity to then reflect and say, Tricia, what I hear you saying is, when I leave the trash overflowing, you feel disrespected.
Right.
Right?
So you want to make sure that then he understands by verbalizing it back to you.
And by him repeating and summarizing to you, it then makes you feel understood.
It makes you feel empathized.
So that's going to be part of it.
So the XYZ technique and the sandwich technique, which is, you know, start off with something nice, give the person the meat of what you're doing, and then end off with something nice.
And I see why it's frustrating, because from the male perspective, I get that all the time.
I get the trash part, I get other things wrong.
We all do.
But I like the sandwich effort, now that I know about it.
So the second step is if you're in the middle of something, there's something called the five-year scale.
If you don't mind, explain it to everybody.
Sure, yeah.
So the five-year scale helps us gain perspective of the situation by asking yourself, how am I going to feel about this when I reflect back five years from now?
Are you going to look back and reflect and say, why did I sweat the small stuff?
This is all sort of smaller stuff.
And that's what you want to do.
Put the trash on the doorstep.
He'll trip over it.
He won't do it again.
All right.
The last issue is an important one, which is to own the anger.
That was part of what we were getting at when we were talking about the physical concerns I had, but the emotional ones, the guilt that goes along with is important.
So if you own it and move forward, it changes it all.
Dr. Varma, explain why this is so important.
What's the one word you want us all to use?
The one word I want you to start using, Trisha, today is I. I feel sad when you don't take out the trash.
I feel hurt.
I feel disrespected.
Because then what you're doing is you're not making it about that person.
You're owning your anger.
You're taking responsibility and apologizing.
And just because you apologize, if you lost your anger, let's say you were telling him to take out the trash, or he didn't appreciate the dinner that you made and you slaved over for seven hours, when you apologize for your temper, it doesn't take away from the fact that he still needs to change what he needs to change, right?
It just means that I acknowledge that I'm human, I made a mistake, and could I have planned better, and could I have communicated more effectively?
Come on over.
We have anger plans, which we're going to, and Dr. Barber, you can go ahead and lead us.
This is important.
We're going to start doing this today.
Dr. Barber, if you don't mind, explain what this is and why it's so important.
So it's so important to be able to have like a detox.
So I would ask you to give yourself one week period, right, where you're restarting everything from the very beginning.
And it's important that there are certain key three things that you do, okay?
The first thing, a lot of times I find that couples don't talk about things until late at night when they're tired, and that's absolutely not the time to be bringing up new issues.
Sleep.
You must, absolutely, people must be getting, I would say, seven to eight hours of sleep.
And I'm going to ask you even just if you can do this for a week.
It's not something that you may not be able to do every night of the week.
But if you can for one week at seven to eight hours, what you're doing is you're resetting.
Because when you're tired, it lowers your threshold.
I definitely notice my anger episodes are greater towards the end of the week than they are in the beginning.
Because I have like stocked up on sleep a little bit on the weekend.
And then, you know, I talk to people at work.
I'm like, by Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, I'm like, no!
Get out of my way!
Yes, absolutely.
The other thing that I want to say is that eliminate, if you can at least for a week, is the trans fat from your diet.
That's going to be huge.
Like a lot of studies are showing now that trans fat can lead to aggression.
Not only is it not good for your physical health, but it's not good for your mental health.
And obviously we know that aggression is also not good for your relationships.
The third step is about me time.
And I know that this is something that so many moms say that they don't have enough of this.
Could I ask you, is this something you would go with me?
I know I'm asking you for a lot.
You sold me in the car.
That was my me time.
Enjoy it.
Make the most of it.
Is one hour.
I'm going to ask you just for this week, one hour.
One hour for the week.
I can see how deprived you are.
An hour is a long time.
It is a long time.
So how do you carve it out?
I mean, I assume you have the challenge too.
And you have it even more with your five kids.
Right.
Look, the only way you're going to get around that is if you recognize the value of the me time and if you look at this as I have to recharge, I have to refuel, right?
So if there's something that's like fun that you can do for yourself, I don't care what it is, whatever's fun for you.
Some people say, hey, I love to read a book.
Some people say, I need to get my nails done.
I want to get a pedicure and I want to get my hair done.
If you can't get one hour at a time, 15 minute increments, these are all such important investments you're making.
Because you know what?
You are, God bless Bob, but you are sort of like the pivot, the center of the family, right?
And your ability to tolerate it is helpful with all those.
Listen, I hope this is helpful.
You're going to have a world expert cheering you on and helping you out.
Thank you.
So good luck with that.
You can get the full plan and all the information from our other Truth 2 Backers and DrRoz.com.
I'll be right back.
Put a little love in your heart.
All month long, the ultimate guide to heart health.
The power to save your heart is in your head.
All this February on the Dr. Oz Show.
As a surgeon, I love explaining procedures to my patients in ways that are easy to understand.
I want them to feel calm and confident in my care.
So when I found this cartoon, I had to laugh.
The doctor's in there.
He's explaining to his patient, the donkey.
He says, it's simple.
My nurse blindfolds me, and I spin around a few times, and then I try to reattach your tail.
Poor donkey.
I feel like Shrek.
I can't tell if he's more upset about losing his tail, getting it reattached, but I'm pretty sure he thinks his doctor is a royal pain in the...
Well, you know what.
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Oh, that looks so good, so go ahead and enjoy.
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You can find the recipes for these comfort foods along with the whole total choice plan on DrOz.com.
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