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Jan. 14, 2018 - No Agenda

03:32:10

999: Nein Nein Nein

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	Hey, Mommy, are you a douchebag?
	Adam Curry, John C. Devorak.
	And Sunday, January 14, 2018, this is your award-winning Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 9 or 9 or 9 or...
	This is No Agenda.
	Celebrating 999 episodes and broadcasting live from downtown Austin, Tejas, couple of drones, Star State, and Shithole Nation, in the Clunio, in the morning, everybody.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, we're 999 is the theme.
	999.
	I'm John C. DeBoer.
	It's Crackpot and Buzzkill.
	In the morning.
	That's right, everybody.
	999 episodes.
	And there we are.
	A lot of people are more jacked up about the 999 thing than they are the thousands.
	It's our number, you know, 9999.
	It's the magic number times 3.
	Correct.
	The magic number is 33, so it's more than that.
	But it's the magic 333 number times 3.
	It came from the Hitler parodies, I think.
	I think that's where it started.
	I thought it came from the walrus.
	Number nine.
	No.
	No, the 999 is that when people were doing the Hitler parody video for everything.
	Yeah, the 999.
	Yeah, I get that part.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So that's where it started.
	And somehow...
	But it showed 999, N-I-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E, not 999, N-E-I-N-E-I-N-E-I-N. Thank you for pointing that out.
	Well...
	Well, congratulations for getting this far.
	Yes, you too, my good sir.
	Thanks.
	Not bad at all.
	It took a concerted effort.
	It was a team effort, John.
	It took a concerted effort, but it took the support of the producers to make it happen.
	That's correct.
	It would have quit 500 shows ago.
	No, I think it would have been 899 shows ago.
	Wasn't it show 100 when I was done?
	You're done at show 100.
	I think we've had a good run.
	We've had a good run, John.
	We should just quit while we're ahead.
	What would I be doing if I'd actually quit?
	That is the question.
	You'd be a trillionaire.
	You don't know.
	I'd be a Bitcoin millionaire is what I'd be.
	Could be.
	Instead, no.
	We are condemned to the lowest rung of the show business ladder.
	Yes, the podcasting.
	That's right.
	Where we proudly stand.
	When you bring this up with people in show business, they all are impressed with podcasting.
	Yeah.
	Have you any idea why that is?
	Yeah, I think I do.
	Because they've all heard one and some have been on one and they love the freedom.
	The freedom of it all.
	Yeah, the freedom of it all.
	Maybe.
	Oh, I'm sure.
	And I'm not just talking about...
	That's why they say dumb stuff, yes.
	Yeah, I'm not just words you can use that you might not be able to use otherwise.
	Although I heard a big F-bomb on Saturday Night Live last night.
	That was pretty funny.
	It was on the show?
	Yeah.
	They left it on the tape?
	It was live.
	Well, it's only live on the East Coast.
	Yeah, I get the East Coast feed.
	So you get to watch it like at 10 o'clock or something?
	10.30, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Oh, okay.
	And...
	I think that's what it is.
	I think people are like, oh man, you can talk about stuff.
	We know all the benefits.
	We're so constrained.
	We know the benefits.
	The benefits are no commercial breaks, no meetings with advertisers.
	Well, that's not true.
	Most podcasts have meetings with advertisers, I presume.
	Yes.
	Poor saps.
	We just don't.
	Okay, well, it was a show day Thursday.
	Well, that's it.
	There you go.
	There's our celebration, ladies and gentlemen.
	Where's that little horn?
	Come on, play the horn.
	Oh, man, how can I? We've played the horn.
	You know, the horn, the thing.
	Yes, I know the horns.
	I keep forgetting how important they are for our celebration episodes.
	There we go.
	That's better.
	Much better.
	That's a celebratory note.
	There we go, everybody.
	Now we're cranking.
	They're going to bomb Hawaii.
	You're going to bomb Hawaii.
	Yeah, let's start with that.
	That was really fun.
	Now, I have a number of clips, some local clips.
	I have one clip.
	Yeah, we'll play yours then.
	We'll start with that.
	But what I'm going to tell you right now, there's a punchline.
	It ends kind of with the punchline right after it.
	And it's just like, it's a head shaker.
	This is from CNN, I believe.
	Sarah Seidner is just the governor of Hawaii.
	Sarah, what did you get?
	So the question to him was, how did this happen?
	And that's what everybody wants to know.
	He also did mention that not only was a text sent out, but there were those, and we're all familiar with that, when the television and the radio beeps out that sound that this is an emergency alert.
	Can you stop it for a second?
	Of course.
	I think before we play this, we should explain what happened at least so people aren't coming in.
	Because I'm sure a lot of people don't know what happened.
	Which is that an emergency message went out to all the cell phones televisions radios and everybody in Hawaii Saying that bombing is imminent and this is not a drill.
	Yes, the incoming missile, this is not a drill.
	And this was through the, what do you call that system?
	Emergency network system.
	No, no, no, no, no, no.
	It's the WEA. It's the Wireless Emergency Alert System, which all the cell phone companies and cell phone manufacturers participate in, which no one is really happy about.
	And I'll tell you, I can tell you the reason why, but let's restart your report so we get some more background.
	Sarah Seidner is just the governor of Hawaii.
	Sarah, what did you get?
	So the question to him was, how did this happen?
	And that's what everybody wants to know.
	He also did mention that not only was a text sent out, but there were those, and we're all familiar with that, when the television and the radio beeps out that sound that this is an emergency alert.
	Okay, actually, I have that from the television?
	Because it's simultaneous.
	I'll play that as just a little interstitial here.
	It interrupted this particular person's soccer match viewing.
	God, that's an annoying tone.
	The US Pacific Command has detected a missile threat to Hawaii.
	A missile may impact on land or sea within minutes.
	This is not a drill.
	If you are indoors, stay indoors.
	If you are outdoors, seek immediate shelter in a building.
	Remain indoors well away from windows.
	If you are driving, pull safely to the side of the road and seek shelter in a building or lay on the floor.
	We will announce when the threat has ended.
	This is not a drill.
	Take immediate action measures.
	The following podcast may bring on feelings that...
	It's the same guy.
	We need to kill them.
	It's the same guy.
	All right, back.
	There you go.
	That also happened, and so he is saying, look...
	I am down at the emergency management area where this all happened.
	There was a shift change, the governor said.
	And during that shift change, it was a routine shift change, someone accidentally, and this is how he put it, pressed the wrong button.
	Yeah, you know, the visualization is a big red button.
	Oh, wait, you should have hit the blue one.
	It's just wrong on it.
	You should have hit the blue one, Bill.
	What are you thinking?
	Yeah, just a routine shift change.
	Somebody hit the wrong button.
	What?
	You hit a button when you shift change?
	What are you talking about?
	I think it was shape-shifting.
	By the way, grammatically that works.
	It was a shift change.
	The shapeshifter was shifting back into humanoid form and accidentally hit the wrong button.
	...alert to television stations as well as the radio stations.
	They immediately tried to get on the phone with the radio and television stations.
	To tell them that this was a false alarm, but it took a while for them to deal with the text as well.
	I think there was also a reaction because, of course, he himself did not know whether this was real or not.
	So he took it upon himself to go down to the emergency management with Vern Miyagi, who's the administrator, and try to sort out what exactly was going on.
	Now, they do realize this has caused confusion.
	This has caused fear.
	They are trying to get to the bottom of how this happened.
	And trying to figure out how to make sure that it never happens again.
	But they have been proactive in the fact that they have been testing.
	They are the first state in the country to test their sirens, which, by the way, they had not used since the end of the Cold War.
	So we're talking, you know, 20, 30 years ago.
	Wrong.
	Wrong again.
	And at this point, they're saying, look, you know, yes, they have egg on their face.
	This should not have happened.
	Yeah.
	Now, we know that that's not true.
	Actually, let me read it.
	You know what?
	I'll tell you something.
	That really galls me that this was thrown in because all of a sudden that's become public domain knowledge, which is bullcrap, which is that they've never used these sirens when everyone on the island, we've got letters from people, they test these things monthly.
	I do one in San Francisco.
	Every noon it goes off.
	Aloha, says producer Chris from Hawaii.
	First, I'd like to apologize for being a douchebag, but I will change it very soon.
	Your value is immeasurable.
	Now to the real story.
	The email you got from a gent who spent some years here in Hawaii rebuking that CBS story about new sirens was false.
	CBS was spot on.
	I am born and raised here in the islands and can confirm we've always had a warning system to alert us of perilous situations, tsunamis, hurricanes, volcanic eruptions on my island, but the air raid or missile attack tone and alert had been dormant for nearly 30 years.
	It was a huge deal here when a few months ago they reinstated that tone and alert for an incoming attack.
	All the local news stations, papers, the morning radio disc jockeys were buzzing about it for weeks.
	Then comes this morning.
	We were eating breakfast with the kids and my wife showed me her phone saying, look at this.
	Missile launch, not a drill.
	I immediately thought, bullshit, hack, something like that.
	That's a no agenda producer right there.
	Yeah.
	Then my phone went off.
	So I turned to the local station.
	Nothing yet.
	90 seconds in.
	While moving kids into the bathroom, mom called while out in town garage sailing.
	Is that a thing?
	Garage sailing?
	Yes, you're going to garage sales.
	Ah.
	Get it?
	I'm a joke.
	Asking what to do, I said.
	I said it's bullcrap.
	Then the TV ticker tapes flashed underneath.
	Missile launch, not a drill.
	Okay, now this is serious.
	For the testing of our alert system, for the testing of our alert system always and only takes place on the first of the month unless it hits on a weekend when it's the first Monday, so this is not right.
	With the family stowed away with a box of cookies.
	Oh yeah, that'll save.
	I pace around looking for any local news personalities to come on to let us know the scoop while I'm searching Twitter.
	Nothing from the state or local authorities or local news pundits for what seemed like hours.
	It was only four minutes.
	Finally, a break on Twitter.
	A person living on Oahu tweeted out, listening to police ban traffic, saying a false alarm.
	Again, a false alarm.
	I breathe a breath of fresh air while looking toward the horizon for a bright flash.
	Being that I live in Kona on the Big Island and Pearl Harbor is pretty far away.
	Called Mom gave her the new info saying it's Twitter so that could be bullcrap too.
	But if you ask me all is good.
	Then Tulsi tweets and immediately the entire state breathed a sigh of relief.
	Thank God for Tulsi.
	Meanwhile nothing from state or local officials for 38 minutes.
	Here's a compilation of a few locals in Hawaii.
	It was fear.
	Just fear of, like, I wasn't with my kids.
	I was gonna die.
	My kids could die.
	What was I gonna do?
	We're all gonna die!
	A little unease, but I went into a serious mode and decided that maybe it would be a good time to take my family underneath our staircase.
	I was horrified.
	I was thinking of my family.
	My wife had gone out for a walk.
	She immediately called me.
	She received the same text.
	I knew it was important for us to be together at that moment.
	There was really nothing I could do.
	I was in an area where I didn't have any friends where I could go to their home.
	So I literally just sat in my car kind of worried that That was it for me because I didn't have a shelter to go to, like it said.
	It was an immediate relief, but also then anger afterwards that, one, something like that could happen and put so many people in such a place.
	These people seem pretty calm, actually, after the fact.
	They're like, oh, yeah.
	And then that it took so long.
	Just very calm.
	For them to correct the actions and make sure that people knew that they were safe.
	I sat there inside the staircase with my family and our family dog and started calling family and friends that we care about and decided to let them know maybe it would be a good time for them to find shelter.
	I woke up my little girl who was only six years old.
	Luckily, I didn't have to explain to her in that moment what was going on.
	She has a complete fear of such an event occurring already.
	She got it, we got my wife, and then the next thing we knew, it had been a hoax.
	It had been a false alert.
	My initial immediate reaction was, like, in my head, I thought, oh, my God, this is it.
	Something bad is about to happen.
	And I can only imagine, if you got that, how that must feel.
	That must feel very, very strange.
	I don't think anyone who wasn't in that situation can really understand how frightening that must be.
	Because this is the alert system that is not a text message.
	It pops up superimposed over everything on your phone.
	It's, as I said, part of the WEA, which is a very low-tech system, as it turns out.
	And a lot of the telcos have not been happy with this for a long time.
	Let's go to...
	Can I go back on one of our...
	By the way, the no agenda response, which is this is bullcrap, is probably pretty funny.
	I think it's very modern.
	If they're testing this thing once a month, the sirens, I'm asking our listener because we're getting discrepant information.
	No, thank you.
	You're already going exactly where we need to go.
	If they're testing these things once a month, but there's a different sound, which is what he claims, that hasn't been tested since World War II, what are they testing anything for?
	What are they testing it for in the first place?
	I'd like to know, what button are you supposed to push when there's a shift change?
	What does that button do?
	Is it a button that does nothing, that just says, okay, we're all good, you know what I mean?
	Well, the only shift change button I can think of is something on a punch card.
	Stick your card in there, you push the button.
	You're good.
	You're clocked in.
	You're clocked out in this case.
	Well, let's listen to Vern Miyagi, Mr.
	Miyagi, who was responsible for this.
	It is his team who was responsible.
	He is falling on his sword.
	I deeply apologize for the trouble and...
	A heartbreak that we caused today.
	We spent the last few months trying to get ahead of this whole threat so that we could provide as much notification and preparation time to the public.
	Today was something that I regret because I accept responsibility for this.
	This is my team.
	We made a mistake.
	We're going to take processes and study this so that this doesn't happen again.
	Let me go over.
	You were distributed today, a press release, I believe, hard copy.
	There's a timeline in that.
	I'd like to spend a few minutes just going over that timeline.
	Yeah, this is actually quite good because you will hear what's going on.
	Hello?
	With your timeline?
	At 0805 this morning.
	Our state warning point, which is my 24-7 operation group, did a change of shift preparation.
	And at the end of each, the new incoming shift will do a check or test of the ballistic missile preparation checklist.
	Now listen to this.
	A checklist, John.
	It's a checklist.
	Well, that's a plus.
	But this is one of the most basic things in all operations, particularly military, certainly aviation.
	I'm familiar with it.
	And the traveling too, by the way.
	You and I have checklists.
	On your checklist, wear a belt.
	I mean, that's on your checklist.
	It is on my checklist because many a time I've left on a trip not wearing a belt because I put on some new fresh pants.
	They're tight.
	I don't notice there's no belt.
	I get to the destination.
	Boom.
	No belt.
	I have to go buy a belt.
	That's very inconvenient.
	You need your checklist.
	And so if you're doing a checklist, I do not see how anything can go wrong on the checklist.
	But I digress.
	And at the end of the new incoming ship will do a check or a test of the ballistic missile preparation checklist.
	So 0805, this test started.
	At 0807 is when the trigger is pulled on the test.
	The wrong button was pushed on this test.
	It went into an actual event versus a test.
	So, wait a minute.
	What test were they going to do?
	Would it have said, this is a test?
	No, because it's not a Monday.
	So, this is not credible.
	Whatever he's saying here.
	Right, because they...
	Well, let's back up and we explain that.
	Apparently, do they...
	What he's...
	Trying to claim is that they do a full test every day on every shift change?
	Apparently.
	Which is probably three shifts a day?
	Apparently.
	That means the TV's interrupted with this is just a test?
	Well, no, but that's why it's unclear what he's saying.
	They always do a test, and according to the checklist, and somehow the wrong button, which I highly doubt is a button, but it's possible.
	On the test...
	The wrong button was pushed on this test.
	It went into an actual event versus a test.
	Okay, so he's saying it would have been a test, but not on a Sunday.
	At 8, 10 a.m., we, of course, got messages on our wireless emergency system, the telephones and so on, and calls.
	The distance had gone out, and at that point in time...
	We started the recall or the cancellation process.
	At 8.20 a.m., Hawaii Emergency Management Agency issued a public notification of cancellation.
	At 8.24 a.m., Governor Ige retweets our message.
	This is the best part, is that, you know, people are like, oh, oh, what's on Twitter?
	Okay.
	Oh, just put it on Twitter.
	It'll be fine.
	Everyone will believe it.
	Off the cancellation notice.
	Twitter is a better alert system than this.
	30 a.m.
	Governor posted a cancellation notification on the Facebook page.
	Oh, please.
	And at 8.45 a.m. after getting authorization from FEMA's IPAWS, Integrated Public Alert and Warning System, I issued a civil emergency message that...
	Now, hold on a second.
	He says he needed to get permission to alert that it was not true?
	And at 8.45 a.m., after getting authorization from FEMA's IPOS, Integrated Public Alert and Warning System, HIEM issued a civil emergency message that verbally alerted people that a missile was not incoming and this was a false alarm.
	That's interesting.
	So there is a unit above that that they had to get permission from to retract it.
	Well, I think what he should have said, yeah, it was permission, but it was like there's another system that to do anything in that system, you have to ask them.
	Hey, can we use your system to do this?
	It's worse than that.
	As you're about to hear in this last minute of this guy, they thought about issuing the alert, but they probably all thought, hey, here's the programmers.
	Here's the dude named Ben.
	Oh man, I gotta do this.
	Well, I'll just, I'll just, let me just type this up.
	Okay.
	We don't really need to have anything to undo it, because once we've issued that alert, we're all gonna die, so who cares?
	There's no easy way to retract it in the system.
	One thing that we have to work on more is the cancellation notice in this event.
	Our focus now, of course, is not to have any more false alarms going out.
	And by doing this, we're working on procedures that have already been implemented.
	First of all, the governor has directed that we hold off any more tests until we get this squared away.
	What has already been put in place is a two-person rule.
	During a drill, there will always be two people there before the button is pushed for both drills and for the actual alert.
	The other point is the cancer.
	That's interesting.
	So apparently there is no...
	There's only one person manning it.
	Whereas we know we have...
	Actually, a whole bunch of women are missileers who sit there and wait, and it's two people who have to do it.
	But for the alert system, it's just one, and that has now been implemented as to a two-person team.
	Hold on a second.
	Yeah, odd, isn't it?
	What do you need two people for for this?
	To make sure that someone doesn't press the wrong button.
	To make sure somebody can't do...
	Because somebody's too stupid to know whether there's a real alert or not.
	Are they pushing buttons randomly?
	How about training one person to do it right?
	It implies that...
	And this is what a number of our producers...
	It implies to me that the thing is screwed up.
	They should get rid of this system completely.
	A lot of producers said...
	This is typical.
	This is just Hawaii, man.
	Everything's corrupt.
	It's all the dipshits who are brought in, all nepotism.
	The alarm's going out.
	We're doing this.
	We're working on procedures that have already been implemented.
	First of all, the governor has directed that we hold off any more tests until we get this squared away.
	What has already been put in place is a two-person rule that during a drill, there will always be two people there before the They should have put the two-can rule in.
	We had the two-can rule for the room now.
	We got the two-person rule.
	The button is pushed for both drills and for the actual alert.
	The other point is the cancellation message.
	We will have a cancellation template that's already been inserted, whereby the cancellation message is already prescriptive to go out and say that this is a false alarm and there is no missile inbound.
	I have to emphasize that at 8.10 a.m., right after this went out, General Logan called Pacific Command to confirm that there was no missile inbound.
	And that was our priority for us to make sure that that word got out.
	Again, I apologize for this.
	This is my responsibility and my team.
	All right.
	Yeah, well, you're fired.
	Please keep in mind that, again, the threat is there.
	If this comes out, you're going to have only about 12 to 13 minutes of warning for an actual event.
	Well, now what's he talking about?
	I apologize for what's happening.
	He screwed up, and now he's saying, well, you know, there's a real threat out there.
	You have to wait 12 minutes.
	You're going to die.
	Yes.
	Fire this guy.
	He's an idiot.
	Yes, that's exactly what he's saying.
	And intentional or not, it definitely increases should you have a strategy of tension.
	It works.
	You know, we had the CDC coming out talking about what to do in case of a nuclear blast.
	And this was just recently.
	We have a button.
	We just had the big button.
	You know, there's the button language in there, which I'm pretty sure this is not.
	I mean, I've tried to look at, tried to find pictures of Of the button?
	Of the button.
	I want to see a picture of the button.
	Now, I'm always looking a little deeper to see if I can find stuff.
	There's always fun coincidences, such as MSNBC happened to be there just the day before.
	The point I'd like to make, Richard, is that this is a state agency that sent out this alert.
	It didn't come from the U.S. military.
	We're working to turn around some NBC News exclusive footage from within the room.
	We were in the room yesterday, Richard, where this alert was sent out.
	I'm here on assignment with NBC Left Field, our digital video unit, and we were looking at what happens in the event of a nuclear attack on Hawaii.
	Civil defense estimates that only 10% of people, God forbid, would perish here.
	90% of the people would survive.
	And this civil defense system is set up in order to make sure people shelter in place, stay in place, and then stay tuned for alerts from that civil defense agency.
	What happened here was a massive No.
	He's saying something even a little more interesting.
	Somebody in the room pressed the button.
	He's not saying the operator or during the show.
	He's saying someone in the room pressed the button.
	In the event that Pacific Command alerts the state of an inbound missile, somebody pushed that button accidentally.
	And that went out to, like the Senator said, hundreds of thousands if not over a million people here on the islands of Hawaii.
	A very, very critical, potentially catastrophic error that was made by the state agency here.
	What was your sense of how the process would work?
	Did you get a sense that it was very well structured, that the steps were very clearly delineated?
	Well, I want to be really clear, first of all, Richard, that where I was yesterday was not Pacific Command, but it was the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency.
	They call it Civil Defense.
	And they're headquartered within an early 1900s-era bunker within Diamond Head Crater, which, Arnie, if you could come take a look.
	That's Diamond Head Crater out that way, Richard.
	That's where this alert was sent from.
	What happens is the U.S. government and the military detects an incoming ballistic missile.
	they're going to pick up the phone and notify people that are sitting within this room 24 hours a day seven days a week uh that uh they need to alert the citizens of hawaii to shelter in place that they've got less than 20 minutes probably less than 10 minutes before a ballistic by the way i do not believe that is the official cdc recommended procedure shelter in place you've That's for an active shooter?
	Shelter in place is not what you're supposed to do.
	You're supposed to get indoors.
	They've got less than 20 minutes, probably less than 10 minutes, before a ballistic missile were to hit the islands of Hawaii.
	They've got too many memes going on, so they're confusing shelter in place, active shooter, we've got a bomb coming in, we've got missiles, we've got...
	Earthquakes coming.
	Frost is too cold.
	People are going to die in the cold.
	You've got to get inside.
	Frostbite in 15 minutes.
	All you have to do is drop.
	You get frostbite in 20 minutes.
	Just drop that in there.
	You've got the whole thing.
	I caught this bit, though.
	I think this was CNN. We heard the governor tell Sarah Seidner that wrong button push during shift change.
	Does that make sense to you?
	So here's the thing.
	Each system is going to be different.
	It does not make sense to me, but I'm also on CNN right now, so I don't want to sort of have, you know, I follow Twitters.
	I don't want people to have a lot of conspiracy theories coming out.
	Really?
	Oh, okay.
	You're inviting it.
	It's just like, oh, God, come on, conspiracy theorists, here you go.
	It's like a red flag for a bull.
	It was clearly made.
	Normally, you have sort of what the equivalent of dual system, I'm not going to try to pronounce it, in which you would have sort of a redundancy in the system.
	In other words, you press the button that says, are you sure you want to send this Yeah.
	Of course.
	In Microsoft, it would be retry, cancel.
	Or retry, fail.
	...in the military and in Homeland Security would have that.
	Maybe someone wasn't paying attention or not knew.
	That's the first thing.
	The second is, even the second they knew it went out, it's got to come back through the same communication channels because the people who received it are the ones who are going to be following it.
	All right, Julie, let me stop you there just for a minute because I do want to...
	Let me stop you there because you're making way too much sense and we don't want people thinking about this.
	All right, Julie, let me stop you there just for a minute because I do want to get to Steve Moore.
	He's a man who knows these systems.
	Steve does the explanation the governor...
	As opposed to you, the dumb woman.
	It makes sense.
	No, and by the way, Julia knows these systems very well, too.
	I don't mean to...
	Ah, it defends her.
	The chivalrous guy.
	You know, Murphy's Law, what can go wrong will go wrong.
	You cannot allow a system to be set up that will allow this kind of mistake.
	If a button can be pushed at shift change, I mean, it seems like every shift change, a certain button was pushed.
	If the wrong button could be pushed and send this information out, it's an unacceptable system.
	Yes, and I don't believe this.
	I've tried finding information about the manufacturer of the system.
	I was not successful.
	But I'm sure someone around Gitmo Nation knows.
	It's just as fishy as it comes.
	I'm just launching here.
	Yeah, well, you're pushing the wrong button.
	I don't know what I'm doing.
	Yeah, you know.
	They should have let her ramble on because she was on a roll.
	I'm just going to be conspiratorial.
	I'm just going to say that was fun.
	It's a strategy of tension.
	Get everybody worked up.
	Maybe distract from something else.
	I'm surprised they didn't bring up what I believe probably really what it was.
	Trump?
	North Korean hackers.
	Ooh.
	Wait.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Come on, boys.
	You got the North Korean meme out there.
	North Korean hackers.
	You know, and if this truly were a mishap, that would have been out there.
	Don't you think?
	Yeah, you know, it's almost as though I know the way Hawaiians are.
	You know, it's early in the morning, you got a shift change, somebody's going off shift, they want to go surfing, what's the best way to clear the beaches and clear the highways?
	So you get out there with your board, hit that button and just take off, hey, so long, malo, malo, malo, malo.
	We're going surfing.
	And a big ways, by the way, and it's just no coincidence now that you mention it, or now that I mention it, about the surfing idea.
	That's when the big waves are just about to hit because they're coming in to hit us on Tuesday and Mavericks looks like it's going to be on.
	Yes!
	The beaches are back open!
	Woohoo!
	Yeah!
	Exactly.
	So it's possible.
	Yeah.
	That was a good one though.
	But only overshadowed somewhat by Shithole Nation.
	Now this is a gift.
	This is a gift from God.
	I love the shithole story.
	The shithole story is the best.
	Now, I want to preface something before we start talking about this, which is a gem of a story.
	And it's great.
	And a shithole is a word that a lot of people like to use randomly when they refer to a lot of different things, not just nations.
	But yeah, I can see Hades.
	I can see somebody describing Hades as a shithole.
	Well, hold on one second.
	Report from NPR. Port-au-Prince, Haiti is one of the largest cities in the world without a central sewage system.
	Most of the more than 3 million residents use outhouses and rely on workers with some of the worst jobs in the world, hauling away human excrement by hand, one bucket at a time.
	The men are called boyoku, and they work in the dark by candlelight.
	So this is a full report.
	They literally go into the shithole naked.
	To clean it out.
	They did a whole reportage.
	By hand.
	Naked by hand.
	Did it get hosed down or something?
	What happens?
	No wonder there's cholera everywhere.
	Yeah, so to take it quite literally, yeah.
	Yeah, it's a shithole.
	It's a shithole.
	Thanks, NPR. Now, I want to mention something because it's Dick Durbin's the one who got this whole thing going.
	And no one's got a tape of Trump saying it.
	We've never heard it.
	Just before we go even there, I got to go a little more meta.
	Shame on the Washington Post.
	Shame on them.
	Because now, now we look like douchebags.
	I mean, it was not necessary.
	If you reported on every comment someone made in show business, I mean, come on.
	How about the top of Sony Entertainment talking about stupid blacks and lame-ass female actors?
	Let's go back to the Lyndon Johnson tapes.
	When Lyndon Johnson was in the White House, I mean, they have the tapes are available for listening.
	It's the same system that Nixon used later.
	And it's nothing but profanities and unbelievable insults.
	Yeah.
	But it happens everywhere.
	You know, if you choose to report on it without context, it's impossible.
	We don't have the context of it.
	We don't.
	We never heard the...
	Yeah.
	We weren't there.
	So, but, you know, on a scale of how bad is this, yeah, if the president had come out and said, you know, these countries are shitholes, that would have been super bad, but he didn't say it in public.
	Does it make him any better?
	No.
	But there's other things going on in the world that need attention.
	Yes, I agree with that 100%.
	But we don't really know.
	I mean, I'm not going to defend the president, but we don't really know that he even said it in private because it's Dick Durbin who has done this before.
	But the reporting now is as if he said it in public.
	No, the reporting has always been that.
	What do you mean now?
	I believe, except for a few early reports, it's always been, ever since it's been reported as if he said it in public.
	What I mean is, okay, you understand what I'm saying.
	Yeah.
	It is understood by people as if he said it out loud.
	That's, in the psyche, that's how people will always remember us.
	Remember when the president said, Haiti's a shithole?
	The irony to this, of course, is that most normal people, and I would include the two of us in that, would probably think Haiti's a shithole.
	And all Trump is doing is pointing out the obvious.
	So what's wrong with that?
	Well, here's the problem.
	This comment was immediately turned into, he's a racist.
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, you had to.
	That's in the rotation.
	It's in the rotation, but it's a stretch.
	It's a real stretch.
	And the crazy thing is, you get a guy like, and this was definitely my favorite, he did it a number of times.
	I got the second clip, because first he did it on the panel, and then he sat down with the overnight sensation, Don Lemon.
	This is Philip Mudd, the ex-CIA guy, who is not black.
	He's not brown.
	He's not yellow.
	He's not any other color but white.
	But he feels, even though he thinks the president is racist, this is also against white people, which makes it very hard to call it racist.
	But he really pulled out all the stops, and I just love the guy for doing it.
	I am proud.
	I am a proud shitholder.
	My family was called wops and macroleaders.
	I'm proud of that.
	We came when people from Ireland and Italy were seen as dirty people.
	Dirty Catholics who didn't belong in a Protestant country.
	Shitholders built this country 110 years ago.
	They were called slopers and slant eyes.
	Chinese people who built this country.
	Shitholders from Japanese...
	Internment camps stayed in those camps as American citizens, and that's a legacy that we bear shame for today.
	Shitholders who escaped Guatemala and El Salvador, civil wars that we participated in, built this country.
	I worked for shitholders who protected this country after 9-11.
	George Tenet is a first-generation Greek.
	I guess he's a shitholder.
	Jose Rodriguez was the head of counterterrorism at CIA. He's a Puerto Rican.
	I guess he's not welcome.
	I'm proud today.
	I'm proud to be a shitholder.
	And I want a t-shirt.
	Hashtag I am them.
	It's us.
	I'm proud.
	But that's a bad hashtag.
	This is a bad hashtag.
	I'm a shitholer.
	Yeah.
	Let's do a bad hashtag.
	Hashtag.
	It's not about black people.
	And it's not about white people from Norway.
	It's about the people who built America.
	And we denigrated until we became ashamed.
	And we realized that's inappropriate.
	And we're learning the lesson again today.
	I've got to tell you, I said that I'm not outraged by this, but others should be.
	Everyone can't be outraged.
	It's not my position to be outraged.
	But what you said brought tears to my eyes because it's just so offensive.
	And I can't see how anyone can make excuses for that.
	This is about pure...
	Racism.
	That's all it is.
	And to say otherwise is either being in deep denial or being cunningly, cunningly deceiving.
	Okay, let's stop for a second there.
	So I think I'm in deep denial.
	Or I'm cunningly, cunningly deceptive.
	After what Mudd just said, ex-CIA guy who's white, Catholic in action, when he says, you know, it's all kinds of people from different countries, that's just not racism.
	You can maybe say xenophobia, but not racism.
	You get your talking points.
	You got your walking orders.
	You got your...
	You know, you've got to stay on...
	You have to stay targeted.
	He's going to double down.
	I've seen these conversations that this is economic, so let's be clear.
	A white honky from Norway can come here, but a black dude from Haiti can't.
	What does that tell you in an America that in one generation called you a nigger?
	Woohoo!
	What does that tell you, Don?
	I can tell you what that tells a honky like me.
	We're no different than we were a generation ago, and we're learning the same lessons that we learned when we called a Chinese man a slant eye, when we called a man from Guatemala a spick and a wetback, and we called a black man a nigger.
	That's what it tells me.
	We got a ways to learn, but we can step back and say we're proud because I spoke this on CNN. 30 to 1, the emails I got were saying, you speak for us, and we're 30 to 1.
	That was the bet.
	And he just put that in there.
	31 was the bet he made with one of his buddies.
	What was the under over?
	Twice.
	I'll not only say it once, I'll say it twice.
	I'll give you 30 to 1 odds.
	That's right.
	30 to 1.
	Pay up, bitch!
	But we can step back and say we're proud because I spoke this on CNN. 30 to 1, the emails I got were saying, you speak for us.
	And we are not from Africa and we're not from Norway.
	We're from Italy.
	We're from Ireland.
	We're from Greece.
	Every single one of them was from a place where they would say, hey, hashtag...
	I'm one of them.
	Yeah, he's trying to launch a hashtag, and he's an idiot, because that's not a good hashtag.
	I'm a proud shitholler.
	But I'm keeping this as an ISO. I am a proud shitholler.
	Nice.
	Now, just to keep on the racism tip for a moment, we had AM Joy.
	Joy Reid, AM Joy, MSNBC, AM Joy.
	Had Jason Johnson on.
	He's the editor of The Root.
	Oh yeah.
	He will explain the racism.
	Well, Joy, we've been saying this for a long time, and this is another reminder.
	The president is a white supremacist.
	We heard in Charlottesville our president is a terrorist sympathizer.
	Terrorist sympathizer.
	And our president is a clear and present danger to non-white people in America.
	Woohoo!
	I'm lucky!
	It's that simple.
	It's not what's going on.
	And what's important about this is not just how his heart feels because I've never cared about that and that's not what's important.
	This manifests in policy.
	This manifests in judicial policy.
	This manifests in immigration policy.
	This manifests in how this administration has dealt with American citizens in Puerto Rico who are dying because they don't consider them to be real Americans.
	Unless the Democratic Party realizes that this man is an enemy to non-white people in America, and this is not an exaggeration, everything in his rhetoric and policy has said so, we will be in danger as a sovereign nation.
	We have to recognize that this president has made it abundantly clear since he got into office he does not want to make a space for non-white people to participate.
	Yes, there are some people who are not white who are in his administration, but policy-wise and rhetoric-wise, he's made it abundantly clear there is no role For brown, tan, yellow, LGBT people in the future that he wants to create in America.
	And that's just like, what?
	He just threw in a color I didn't know existed.
	Yes.
	He threw in everything and then threw in some LGBT? Besides this being the LGBT thing, which I pointed out in the newsletters also, in the rotation, it got caught up some guy.
	But this is the ethnic side of the Democratic Party.
	They're trying to take over the party.
	They've used the identity politics thing.
	So now they're using shithole politics.
	They're trying to take over the party, and they're specifically targeting Hillary.
	Yes.
	Even though they don't say it.
	But they're targeting Hillary.
	They want to get her out of the way, and they want to take over the party.
	They want to run more.
	Obama was a good example.
	Look, Obama won, so let's just run black people.
	Or let's run Kamala Harris or Kamala, whatever.
	And that's where they're headed, and that's where this guy's headed.
	And his talking points are – there's competitive talking points here.
	What they should be doing is trying to focus, but they're not.
	But I have a similar clip, a different clip that you're not going to have heard because it's only a local clip.
	And this is about Barbara Lee.
	She speaks for me over here in Berkeley.
	Who's a communist for all practical purposes.
	Of course she speaks for you as a communist.
	She doesn't really speak for me, but that's what her nickname is.
	Because there's bumper stickers all over Berkeley.
	Barbara Lee speaks for me.
	Ah, okay.
	Got it.
	And it's a local thing.
	So here, let's play this.
	This is the dead-end censure attempt.
	Okay.
	And I'm Jessica Aguirre.
	Tonight, the controversy.
	Next week, a plan of action.
	Two top House Democrats say they'll unveil a resolution to censure the president.
	NBC reporter Sharon Katsuda spoke with East Bay Congressman Barbara Lee, who says it's time for Republicans to break...
	How does one censure the president?
	Censure means stifle, shut up, be quiet, don't talk?
	I believe that the House can put together a proposal and pass it, which condemns the president and says, don't do that again.
	They can't keep him from shit.
	They can't.
	It's a different branch of government.
	They can censure their own people and kind of kick him out of a few committees and stuff like that.
	Here we go.
	But I don't think there's much more to it than symbolism here with the president.
	Let's consult the book of knowledge.
	Yes, I have consulted the book of knowledge.
	In the United States, censure is the public reprimanding of public official for inappropriate conduct or voting behavior.
	When the president is censured, it serves only as a condemnation and has no direct effect on the validity of the presidency, nor are there any other particular legal consequences.
	And it does say in the next sentence is, unlike impeachment, censure has no basis in the Constitution or in the rules.
	It's just interesting that impeachment is right in the censure explanation.
	Alright, let's continue.
	From the President.
	Everyone, especially people of color, are offended by this, but everyone of conscience, every American, should feel that this president has insulted them.
	Congresswoman Barbara Lee says President Trump's alleged comments about Haiti and Africa are, quote, despicable.
	The first thing that came to my mind was very unfortunate, unhelpful.
	And she says this reaction by House Speaker Paul Ryan isn't enough.
	Next week, she and other Democratic lawmakers are pushing for resolution for censure of President Trump.
	Democratic Senator Dick Durbin says in the bipartisan meeting on immigration, President Trump referred to Haiti and Africa as S-hole countries.
	President Trump today tweeted in part, he never said anything derogatory about Haitians other than Haiti is obviously a very poor and troubled country.
	Never said take them out, made up by Dems.
	He also tweeted his proclamation of January 15, 2018 as Martin Luther King Jr. federal holiday.
	Now, he was actually signing...
	Was it the proclamation?
	I didn't get a clip of it.
	So he's signing the proclamation for Martin Luther King Day.
	And as he's walking out of the room taking no questions, there was one woman who kept yelling, Mr.
	President, are you a racist?
	Mr.
	President, are you a racist?
	Yeah, I believe she was with CBS, I believe.
	Congresswoman Lee is urging Speaker Ryan to join the push for censure of President Trump.
	Speaker Ryan evidently appears to be his representative in Congress because he shepherds his agenda.
	And so he needs to break with him now and lead.
	Censure would put the House of Representatives on record telling the president this is unacceptable.
	Congresswoman Lee says there was a similar effort to censure President Trump last August after his comments about blaming both sides for the violence in Charlottesville.
	She says that effort failed, but she hopes this time it will be different.
	Sharon, thank you.
	That's not all.
	Senator Kamala Harris also reacting to the president's comments in an exclusive interview with Rachel Maddow this evening.
	The words of a president are very powerful words.
	And unfortunately, this president has used his words to demean and belittle instead of uplifting people.
	And it is deeply troubling.
	It is...
	Unfortunate.
	And it is irresponsible.
	Uh-huh.
	All those things and more.
	Oh, my goodness.
	So they're all getting their licks in.
	Of course, this is a local story because both of these women are locals and Californians.
	Yeah.
	And it's just – when they said that Barbara Lee apparently tried this before, she's just like that green guy who just keeps insisting on – Impeach.
	Impeach.
	Yeah, and he gets nowhere.
	It's just a – why are they wasting the taxpayers' money?
	And their time.
	They're wasting their own time.
	There's just this showboating.
	This is just pure showboating.
	This is all that they do anyway, is try to get re-elected, make sure they get the coffers filled up.
	So it's just a part of their normal job.
	It's part of the extension of their job.
	This is all lobbying for the 2018 election.
	Yeah, well, that's for sure.
	Barbara Lee does not have to do that.
	That is a fixed seat that shows you the kind of respect for...
	The elections they're having Berkeley, you get that seat, you're in for life as long as you want it.
	You just get voted in because that's the way the Berkeley voters are.
	Oh, the Democrat running for Congress in Berkeley.
	Good.
	Yes.
	Good to go.
	Yeah, good to go.
	Anna Navarro, who is a Republican, had an episode.
	Anna Navarro, when did she become a Republican?
	I think she's the Republican correspondent for CNN, isn't she?
	Well, she's always going off the deep end with Democrat ideals.
	How can she be a Republican?
	Well, I think that's why she's on CNN. Let me see.
	American Republican strategist and political commentator.
	Bingo, boom, shakalaka.
	Okay.
	Here's what she had to say.
	But you know what?
	President Trump is going to get that done.
	But the political left is going to immediately to the personal attack.
	Hang on, one second, one second, one second, one second, because we just heard from the president.
	Anna, wait.
	We just heard from the president.
	This isn't about you and me.
	You can't even sit there and watch the president's own words without calling John Berman and New Day ridiculous, because you don't even have the face to be able to look at his own words.
	This program isn't putting words in his mouth.
	They're quoting him.
	That's him on video.
	Anna, you're melting.
	He hasn't already said his entire life.
	Oh, no, I'm not melting.
	I'm going to snowflake.
	You know why I am an American?
	It's not even springtime in your belly.
	Hang on, Jason, Anna.
	Hang on one second.
	Hang on one second, Anna.
	The president just...
	I don't say that you look like a buffoon trying to make sense of what this man is saying.
	This is about Donald Trump being a racist.
	I don't care what you say.
	You should give him some credit.
	The president just put out a statement.
	The president just put out a statement.
	Well, I was born in a shithole.
	And I live in a shithole.
	Oh, yeah.
	The end of show mix will be spectacular today.
	A little teaser there for the end of show.
	Keep listening, people.
	Stick around, peeps.
	You might like it.
	A lot of people bail for that and they should be listening.
	They actually do.
	They bail the last 20 minutes.
	I am a proud shitholer.
	I know that because of the Apple Podcast statistics tells me.
	The last 15, 20 minutes is when it drops off.
	Yeah, which you missed a lot of good stuff on the last show.
	However, the dip in the donation segment is very minor.
	I'd say it's about...
	Yes, especially the first dip.
	About 8%.
	8% for the first dip, about 6% for the second dip, which is nice.
	Anyway, back to Anna Navarro.
	She has always done this.
	She goes off the deep and she blows up.
	She's an entertainment, you know, she's an entertainer, and I don't know what to make of it.
	But I didn't know she was supposed to be.
	This is like the Brooks on the...
	If you want to...
	Why don't you get a real Republican if you want to put a Republican on and let them try to defend the president or let them defend him or something.
	I mean, we can't...
	This is...
	CNN is not watchable.
	Oh, I beg to differ.
	You can beg all you want, but I'm not going to go for it.
	It's not watchable.
	It's beautiful to watch.
	It's just people yelling over each other.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's like a reality show.
	It's the emotions.
	Emotions are always fun to watch.
	It's great television, John.
	It's not.
	It would be if there was a little more in control, because with people yelling at each other, talking over each other, nothing comes of it, and there's no real debate.
	It's just Trump bashing.
	Yeah, but when they're using the word shithole over and over again, it's worth watching.
	Well, this is a moment in time, yes.
	Now, during this moment in time where they're going asshole, Should I say S-hole or expletive or shithole?
	What should I do?
	I don't know what to do.
	Today questioned why the United States would allow people from Haiti and Africa into the country.
	Describing those places using an expletive.
	The president said, why are we having all these people from shithole?
	That's how we started off.
	Shithole.
	Shithole.
	Quote, excuse me.
	Shithole.
	Shithole country.
	I wouldn't say that.
	I had so much fun this morning.
	I'll bet you.
	Well, I do have the CBS report.
	And we might as well listen to that since we're on this topic.
	Yep.
	Let's start with shithole one.
	Good evening.
	President Trump said on Twitter today that he used tough language, but not the words others attributed to him during a controversial Oval Office meeting.
	A number of those in attendance yesterday described the comments as profane and racist.
	Today there was new reaction and new recollections of the day.
	Here is Chief White House Correspondent Major Garrett.
	In the face of new allegations of racism, President Trump today signed a proclamation honoring Dr.
	Martin Luther King Jr.
	No matter what the color of our skin or the place of our births, we are all created equal by God.
	And ignored reporters' questions.
	Mr.
	President!
	In my personal office meeting on immigration yesterday, the president allegedly said of Haiti, El Salvador and countries in Africa, why do we want all these people from expletive countries here?
	We should bring in more people from places like Norway.
	On Twitter today, he wrote, this was not the language used, although the president did not specify what language he was referring to.
	He added, never said anything derogatory about Haitians other than Haiti is obviously a very poor and troubled country.
	It is not true.
	He said these hate-filled things, and he said them repeatedly.
	Illinois Democratic Senator Dick Durbin attended the meeting.
	He used these vile and vulgar comments calling the nations they come from.
	The exact word used by the president, not more, not just once, but repeatedly.
	German said South Carolina Republican Lindsey Graham pushed back against the president.
	In a statement, Graham said, I said my piece directly to him.
	But his fellow Republican senators David Perdue and Tom Cotton said they, quote, did not recall Mr. Trump using a vulgarity.
	Both are stalwart supporters of...
	Huh.
	I cut that there because I wanted to point out the kind of bias that was in this report, which is that Cotton and the other guy said that this didn't happen.
	We're identified as Trump supporters, but Dick Durbin was not identified as an anti-Trump, non-Trump.
	Yes, good point.
	And so this was very slanted, and it was very vague about the Lindsey Graham thing, which some reports says he confirmed it, but it doesn't sound like it to me.
	He says he talked to the president directly, and that's the end of it.
	So this is a very sketchy...
	To say the least.
	Yeah, very sketchy reporting, very slanted.
	It's just trying to get this...
	Second time you've used the slant word, careful.
	You end up trying to keep the pot boiling about the racism and the Trump rotation.
	Now, I want to mention here...
	Dick Durbin has been caught in the past.
	During the Obama administration, he pulled one of these things where he said something happened.
	He claimed that one of the congressmen chewed out the president in this private meeting and says, I can't look you in the face, and said some other stuff.
	I don't know who the representative was because it wasn't named in the reports, but he denied it, and the White House denied it.
	Obama denied it.
	It never happened.
	But Durbin's the one who said it.
	So Durbin seems to have a track record for bringing out what happened in a private meeting in some obscurity.
	And I think this is just a...
	I mean, it's beautiful because everyone believes him.
	But here's the thing.
	They want to believe the worst.
	In general...
	Whenever you have a private meeting with the president, your answer is, well, whatever was discussed with the president in private stays that way.
	Yeah, supposed to.
	You know, that's protocol.
	Yeah, of course, not calling people's country shitholes is protocol, too.
	I can hear him saying it.
	I can hear him say, that's the problem.
	This is one of those situations, like some hoaxes that we've seen over late, where it's so believable.
	I mean, it's borderline guerrilla TV. It's so believable to some people, especially the Dimension B people, that yes, we're in.
	We're all in on this.
	Yeah, it's like the book.
	But it's even believable to the Trumpers, although it's somewhat, it's probably counterproductive because the Trumpers probably say, Yeah, they are shitholes.
	So what?
	Which is what you're at.
	That's you.
	I like Haitians.
	Their country is a literal shithole.
	I'm going to stick with that he didn't actually say it.
	It's possible.
	It's possible that he didn't, and he says he didn't, and everybody, did two witnesses say he didn't?
	He did not deny saying that in his tweet.
	He said these other things were made up.
	He didn't say the shithole comment was made up.
	No, his tweet was very, it was not worded correctly for him to completely get out of this.
	No.
	You're right, he never said, I didn't use the word shithole.
	He can't say that.
	He may have used the word shithole.
	But not necessarily the way Durbin interpreted it or said he said it.
	But for sure, we must thank the president for allowing us to use the word.
	I mean, what word could be next?
	You know, this is like people...
	When they talk about the president being the moral authority of the country, he is.
	So when he uses shithole, even if he didn't, but now that we all think he did...
	That means we can all use the word, and this reminds me again, I'll mention it.
	Of Bill Clinton.
	Bill Clinton has had legalized blowjobs from young women.
	And we are.
	Because it's not sex.
	No.
	And so blowjobs became very popular and remains so.
	Or, as the t-shirt says, eating ain't cheating.
	And there you go.
	Onward to part two.
	And this is our Western edition.
	House Speaker Paul Ryan reacted today in Wisconsin.
	So first thing that came to my mind was very unfortunate, unhelpful.
	Utah Republican Congresswoman Mia Love, whose parents emigrated from Haiti.
	I doubt that a comment like that would have been made if somebody like me is sitting across the table from you.
	But you also had people that were...
	The president has been accused of making racially charged comments before.
	Last summer, he sparked controversy over his reaction to violence at a white supremacist march in Virginia.
	During the campaign, his calls for a Muslim ban and attacks on a Mexican-American judge drew condemnation.
	But they're saying, is Donald Trump a racist?
	I am the least racist person that you've ever looked at.
	Believe me.
	Governments in Haiti, Botswana, and Senegal requested meetings with U.S. Embassy representatives in those countries to formally complain about Mr.
	Trump's remarks.
	And the African Union, which represents 55 countries on the continent, said the president's remarks dishonor respect for human dignity.
	Jeff?
	Major, thank you very much.
	I'm just still stuck on the racist part.
	I just don't see how you get that.
	Well, I can see where they can make this stretch, but I'm going to bring one other little point up.
	You've got to remember the African Union was led by Mugabe.
	And if anybody's a bad actor, it's that guy.
	Anyway, but that's okay.
	We'll use it because it serves our purposes.
	Yeah, no, I don't see it either, but Saying Haiti's a shithole doesn't mean you're a racist.
	And it was not entirely clear that it was about Haiti in the first place.
	That came a little later.
	Yeah, no, none of it's clear because we don't have a tape.
	We don't know what really went on.
	This is all speculation turned into a mountain, into a molehill.
	I have, for example, listen to Alex Witt.
	But hold on, why Haiti?
	What were they talking about with Haiti in regards to Haiti?
	Yeah.
	Well, the immigrants who come from Haiti tend to be really good workers and fine Americans, so I don't know if it was about that.
	I think it has to do with the Clinton Foundation, personally, and I think this is a distraction.
	That's possible because there is an indictment now of the Clinton Foundation.
	And there's also something brewing in Australia regarding money that the Australian government has given to several Clinton foundations.
	Yeah.
	So it could be.
	It could be.
	It could be a distraction.
	But let's listen to Alex Witt.
	This is my last clip.
	Yeah.
	My Alex Witt on MSNBC. And let me preface this by mentioning that if you're looking for the racist angle, she's going to try to provide, she's discussing this with, I can't remember this guy's name.
	He's a black guy who worked in a bunch of administrations and he's kind of a Trumper.
	But we don't right now.
	I want to stay on Donald Trump now because there's a lot to talk about with this guy.
	I mean, the reality is, the fact that he's saying these things, even alleging that he's saying these things, doesn't that just...
	I mean, there is an effect on that.
	People will not want to work with him.
	People are appalled.
	You say it's inartful.
	People have used other ways to describe this.
	I mean, is there anything that will rein this president in and help him to understand that he is the president of the United States?
	There is a level of discourse that is expected.
	This is not the first time that he has done this.
	He has a pattern of remarks like this.
	Well, again, I know you want to isolate this, but look, I've watched, observed, and served under several presidents, and the reality is that There are times when presidents use language in private settings that have different contexts, different impact in the public domain.
	The literary giant Lewis Carroll, through his character Humpty Dumpty, said, he who defines is the master.
	And I know the left wants to define this as a Trump problem, and they want to racialize the debate right now.
	You don't see this as being racial?
	Because, Ken, look at those who are supporting the president on the wake of these statements.
	You've got among them David Duke, the former Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.
	He's endorsing these comments on Twitter.
	We're putting up the statement right now.
	Is the president not just fanning the flames of racism?
	Is he energizing racist elements?
	And, by the way, were we not asking these very same questions after Charlottesville?
	Come on, Alex.
	Wow.
	The fact of the matter is that David Duke is an idiot.
	David Duke is a self-avowed racist.
	And so, you know, you want me to defend...
	Well, he likes what the president is allegedly saying.
	Well, again, you keep...
	I like your qualification, allegedly said.
	The president said he didn't say that.
	I am a proud shitholer.
	Yeah.
	So you just push it.
	What it is, they're pushing it.
	They're just pushing this agenda of these words.
	He's a racist.
	He hates gays.
	Is there another one?
	Somehow, and I think that by itself is bigoted.
	I mean, why do you have to think of gays when you think of shithole?
	What's wrong with you?
	It's not how I think.
	Yeah.
	Where else does it come from?
	These people are obsessed with these things.
	They're obsessed with something.
	They're obsessed with this guy because he prevented their gal Hillary from being president at this point.
	By the way, the way this is going, the media falling apart and everyone going crazy.
	If Hillary was president, I can't imagine how bad it would be.
	It'd be the same thing, only it would be different.
	Different version of the same thing.
	I didn't clip it because it was too long, but the Anderson Pooper, speaking of shithole, the Anderson Pooper clip of him crying about Haiti is pretty good, if you haven't seen it.
	I only saw a piece.
	I saw the very end of it.
	Oh, yeah.
	It doesn't really work just as an ending.
	You've got to have the whole build-up.
	It's all about him.
	It's always about him.
	No, because in this case, I'd like to thank you for your courage.
	And say in the morning to you, John C, as he stands for Canoe Inspector Dvorak.
	Canoe Inspector?
	Is that coming up on the list?
	Yeah, brand new.
	In the morning to you, Mr.
	Adam Curry.
	In the morning to all ships at sea.
	Boots on the ground, feet in the air, subs in the water.
	All the names, all the knights out there.
	And in the morning to the Dude Man.
	The giant speaker system.
	Yes.
	In the morning to the Dude Man.
	He brought us the artwork for episode 9 or 9 or 8.
	The title of that one was Service Bureau.
	Service Bureau.
	That was why it was so nice.
	This was the Vote Winfrey 2020 button, which was good.
	We liked it.
	Yes.
	I liked it.
	I thought it was good.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	We are very curious to see what we'll get for episode 9-er, 9-er, 9-er today.
	Noagendaartgenerator.com.
	Also in the morning to the Troll Room.
	Good to have you guys here.
	A lot of you have been here for all of these episodes.
	Or not in the Troll Room because we didn't have one until...
	When did we start doing a Troll Room?
	That wasn't until in the hundreds, I think.
	You would know.
	Yeah, no, I don't know.
	Void Zero will know.
	He'll let me know.
	So we appreciate you guys being there.
	And this is a special episode.
	It's, for some reason, round numbers don't work with the No Agenda crew.
	It's the niner, niner, niner that people really love.
	So let's thank some people who came in to support the work that we do, which is how the program works.
	No advertising.
	Even though there's less and less reasons to now not take advertising, because you can say shithole on TV now.
	Who knew?
	Well, there you go.
	Or expletive.
	Expletive.
	Let's start off with Sir Dick Bangs.
	A hundred dollars.
	A hundred dollars.
	A thousand dollars.
	Figured I'd snake the line and donate a show early.
	You guys are just killing it of late.
	With everyone losing their minds in the M5M and the brainwashed masses parroting the memes, your refreshing and humorous takes lends a baseline of sanity.
	Unless there's any good Bordeaux recommendations, I already sent him a note saying any 2015 Bordeaux is worth looking at.
	He has Chateau Montrose, a very expensive wine.
	It usually runs about $150 a bottle and really enjoyed it.
	I guess you would.
	It needs age.
	Don't drink any Montrose less than 10 years old and you're better off at 15.
	Need home construction karma.
	Okay.
	And that's it.
	Don't read on the show.
	All right.
	Sir Dick Bangs.
	Karma for you.
	You've got...
	Karma.
	Service Donkey Karma.
	Thaddeus Parker, $1,000.
	I've been listening since I was hit in the mouth by my cousin in a long car ride to our grandmother's home several states away.
	That's the way to do it.
	I got into a conversation on current events and bad-mouthing Soros when he timely introduced me to 852 Sorocracy, Which has just come out.
	That's show 852 to you.
	I was hooked in a heartbeat to the radio-style podcast and in-depth information you all provide to your listeners over three hours every show.
	I look forward to your coverage and review of current events and feel a little sad when I have to wait even two more days to hear feedback on what occurred Friday.
	For my night, you know, we can only do...
	We've thought about it and...
	Nothing's that important that you have to have the feedback immediately.
	Right.
	I mean, even the guy in Hawaii looked at the bomb threat.
	He says, eh, this is bullcrap.
	You should have internalized a lot of this.
	For my knighthood, I would like to be known as Sir Gatekeeper.
	Sir Gatekeeper.
	And recent diet, soda, and video games...
	Oh, and request.
	I'm sorry.
	What am I thinking?
	Request diet soda and video games.
	Oh, I've got to put that.
	Diet soda and video games.
	Yeah, I'll put that on right now.
	Okay.
	Some jobs karma for my girlfriend and three jingles.
	Fear is freedom, North Korean newscaster, and don't raff.
	Why are you raffing?
	All the best, and here's a thousand more shows.
	Cheers.
	Fear is freedom.
	Subjugation is liberation.
	Contradiction is truth.
	Those are the facts of this world.
	And you will all surrender to them.
	Use pigs in human clothing.
	Don't drop.
	Why are you laughing?
	You've got karma.
	Shut up.
	Shut up.
	Sir Lennart, 999.
	999.
	999.
	Sir Lennart, comment, keep it the great work.
	There's no other comment.
	I need to look for an email.
	I'll give the karma.
	You've got karma.
	Can never have too much karma.
	There's probably one missing in here of the 900s.
	Uh-oh.
	Yeah, this guy here.
	I'm going to put it in.
	It's coming as a check, and so I'm going to drop it in here because he didn't come in yet.
	Okay.
	And I thought Eric got my note, but I don't see that he did.
	Woo!
	No, he did get my note, I believe.
	Sir, Black Knight of the Okanagan Plains.
	Okay, he did.
	Good work.
	This is Rogue, Black Knight of the Okanagan Plains.
	This is a 900...
	He did a long note.
	He sent...
	It's actually a check in the mail, but he's becoming a baron, and I figure the check is in the mail, and I don't have to worry about it being repeated, because when the check comes in, he'll just go into the bank.
	This Rogue, Black Knight of the Okanagan Valley, which is up there as a wine-growing area in Vancouver.
	ITM fellow travelers, I intentionally skipped donating to your most wonderful 10th anniversary special so that I could save my pennies for the fabulous show 999.
	Please accept the teeny tiny token of thanks and recognition for the hours and insight and entertainment that you two have provided for oh so many years.
	With this donation, I finally obtained the rank of Baron and he's on the list.
	Nice.
	Alright, thank you very much.
	I mean, uh...
	Rogue.
	Thomas Newman, $920 in Seattle, Washington.
	Hi, gents.
	With this donation, along with my previous of boobs, this will bring me to my knighthood.
	I would like to be dubbed Sir Michael of the Third World Southeast Asia, if possible.
	Sure.
	My PayPal shows Seattle, but I split time between Singapore and Thailand.
	Ah, he's in Singapore or Thailand.
	We need reports.
	I'd like to shout out to Michael Puckett.
	If I can get a Jobs Karma de-douching, we can get a de-douching right now.
	You've been de-douched.
	Jobs Karma resists we much, and if you can find it in your heart, the I Got Ants intro.
	Okay.
	All right.
	We got that.
	All right.
	Thank you, Thomas.
	But resist, we much.
	We must and we will much about that be committed.
	I got ants.
	I got ants.
	Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs.
	Let's vote for jobs.
	You've got karma.
	I think it's the little ditty that he wanted that's at the beginning.
	It's kind of cute.
	That is the entire allure of that track.
	Yes, there's nothing else.
	Let me just hear it again, because you have to understand.
	It's the chord shift here, and it goes down, and then you go, hit it!
	I got ants.
	I got ants.
	That's beautiful.
	It's just a piece of art.
	We got a lot of art on this show.
	We have art as our album art.
	We have art at the end with all those songs people design.
	We are nouveau art.
	Sir, I say the show itself is performance art.
	Yes, postmodern performance art.
	Sir Isaac of Altadena 766.33.
	I started listening to you guys in the low 600s and I can't believe you are now at the EVA 1000.
	What a milestone.
	You guys are incredible.
	I feel like I know you.
	Thank you.
	I'll be outside tomorrow.
	Thank you for your...
	Thank you for your hard work.
	It's hard work.
	It's hard work and please keep this up.
	It's simply too much fun.
	One request.
	You guys need to bring in more second half of show stuff.
	It is sorely missed.
	And as an initial draw for many new listeners, I don't believe half of it, but it's fun to listen to.
	There hasn't been enough alien spottings.
	Well, you know, there is, like, the government has released some documentation, but it's going nowhere, and, you know, okay, he has some ideas here.
	Does he?
	Yeah.
	This donation should make me a baron, Sea of Counting.
	Please title me the Baron of Altadena, I guess.
	How do I claim my territory?
	You just did.
	Altadena is the, you know, although there's a lot of action down in Southern California with a lot of barons, and this is going to be a problem I'm trying to resolve.
	He says, Altadena is in the L.A. foothills above Pasadena, so how can I claim Baron of L.A. or Baron of L.A. foothills above?
	Ken and I, I was originally Nidus or Isaac, the non-tech douchebag, but Eric DeShill and I had an email mix-up early on, and it just went as Sir Isaac as Altadena.
	Okay.
	Ah, okay.
	Got it.
	Well, that's an unnecessary piece of information.
	One, he's what he wants for jingles.
	Okay.
	Play, I'm sick.
	Yeah.
	Sucking on soot, you might die, and don't raff.
	I'm sick.
	Sucking in soot, you might die.
	Don't raff.
	Why you are laughing?
	Shut up.
	You've got karma.
	Shut up.
	I find it's weird that people are wanting the don't raf thing more than before.
	Yeah, it's...
	Suck it in soot.
	Don't die.
	I don't even remember that until you played it.
	It's a kid ISO. Yeah, kid don't die ISO. Michael...
	Halby, H-A-L-B-E, 57910.
	Sounds the business.
	My donation of 57910 caps off my donations for knighthood, CV accounting.
	Figured I should get in early before the 1,000 mega show.
	I bet this show would be bigger.
	My parents gave me great advice in changing careers this year.
	This is my way of honoring them and also the show.
	I've been listening since episode 49.
	I think John mentioned the show on Twit.
	Stopped watching since John hasn't been back.
	A birthday donation from my dad last year went over better than expected, so I've decided to give my knighthood to him.
	I can't wait to hear his reaction to this.
	Currently reading the book Operation Gladio on holy alliance between the Vatican, the CIA, and the mafia from the suggestion of a co-worker.
	It's worth looking into.
	Speaking of strategy of tension, Operation Gladio, the B team, worth looking into.
	Don't remember if this was ever brought up on the show, but it's a shocking book so far.
	We've discussed Operation Gladio.
	The leave-behinds.
	It's the guys who were embedded left behind to cause mayhem, like firing off missile alerts and stuff.
	Yeah, pushing buttons and then go surfing.
	Beach is open!
	Yeah.
	It's likely a nomination for the book club.
	Okay, well, this should be in there, I guess.
	Requesting boom shakalaka, woke millennials, and stay woke, and de-douche karma for my dad.
	My millennials, stay woke!
	You've been de-douched.
	You've got karma.
	Sir Milkman 337.69.
	Hey, Mr.
	Sir Milkman here.
	Adam, I need your address to mail you some crap.
	John, if you do an LA meetup this month, I'd hand off a check in the books rather not get beat up by the otherwise excellent UPS media mail shipping to you.
	Yeah, you sent me a package.
	That came pretty beat up.
	Did it?
	Well, it went all over the world.
	Yeah.
	You sent it on Monday and it arrived Friday night.
	Beat up.
	Yeah, it's priority mail.
	Yeah, beat up.
	I thought it was misrouted.
	Well, they said it was beat up.
	It looked pretty beat up.
	But as long as your Christmas gift was in there, was it?
	Yes, thank you.
	The Christmas gift was in there.
	Now, I don't feel so bad about not giving you a Christmas gift now.
	Well, that's a crisp.
	Yeah, okay.
	Why not, Phillips, two blocks from the Union Station?
	Coffee is cheap and the famous French dip is actually pretty good.
	Maybe.
	Okay.
	Maybe.
	All right.
	It's a possibility.
	Thank you very much, Mr.
	Milkman.
	Appreciate it.
	Some karma might be a good idea.
	Anytime.
	You've got karma.
	Sir Cal, 3333 in Northville, Michigan.
	Probably part of local one, I hope.
	Oh, this is Cal from Cal's CBD. Oh, the CBD guy.
	Oh, okay.
	The lavender blossom.
	ITM, gents.
	It's been a crazy month in the news story carrying our CBD products in over 100 orders online, mostly due to the magical Noragenda community.
	What?
	What?
	Please pass a karma to all the supporters and help manage their aches one sore knee at a time.
	I've received numerous notes from customers who decided not to use a 10% ITM coupon.
	So in turn, I'm extending it to you.
	Rounded up my favorite number, 333.33, because I see it more and more lately.
	I started listening on show 333, 33% sure than that one.
	Became night and 333 later...
	On 666, today is another 333, then add to a total of 1 slash 14, 18C. Ah, coincidence?
	So thank you, 33 times from the bottom of my 33 heart, not my wife's 33 bottom.
	Please play the news lady who gives a shout out to lavenderblossom.org, you know, the Korean news lady.
	Cheers, Sir Cal.
	Does she give a shout out to the...
	No.
	I was not aware of that.
	I was not aware of that.
	You've got karma.
	You know, what you could do, Sir Cal has to deal with marketing.
	You could take that clip and find a local Korean to scream into the microphone something about the product.
	Yeah.
	Something like that.
	A little better than that, I'm sure.
	Yeah, sure.
	Dame Anonymous Goddess, 33333.
	I'd like to thank everyone for the 333s today.
	Dame Anonymous Goddess here from Germany, Deutschland.
	Great job lately and happy 999.
	Thank you.
	I've seen too many 33s in the past.
	Let's continue to not donate.
	I don't mind.
	I don't need any jingles, but can I get some moving karma?
	Yes, and you probably want a burrow for that.
	You've got karma.
	Yeah, a burrow.
	A burrow.
	A burrow.
	A burrow for moving karma.
	Don't mention my name or location, even though there's a name here.
	You're good.
	You're good.
	You're sharp.
	Well, it's just because I was reading this note.
	He doesn't want anything.
	He'd like to request a mac and cheese karma.
	It's $333 in parts unknown, unknown person.
	For anyone that has eaten at DFAC, Ten more years!
	Thank you for your courage.
	You slaves can get used to mac and cheese.
	Mac and cheese.
	By Ayn Rand.
	You've got karma.
	Ayn Rand.
	Jerry Zach, 333339.
	He's in Electra, Texas.
	Right up the street.
	They got some great names.
	They got Electro-Texas, and one of my favorites is Rocket-Texas.
	And I believe in Rocket-Texas, we're somewhere in the middle of the giant super collider that was canceled by Bill Clinton because he was jealous.
	They hated Texas.
	And the super collider, which I visited, I went down in the hole.
	In the shithole?
	No, it was like this limestone hole.
	Anyway, so I went to the Rocket Cafe.
	I think it's called the Rocket Cafe in Rocket, Texas.
	And I had, for the first and last time in my life, a chicken fried steak.
	Which is actually, when it's done right, it's quite delicious.
	A lot of white gravy on it.
	Anyway, can't be good for you.
	Jerry Zach, I don't remember when I started to listen to you guys, but it had to be shortly after John mentioned the show on Twitter for the first time since you have become my weekly dose of sanity.
	Hopefully it's twice a week.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	that I kind of forgot to be knighted.
	With this donation, I am going straight to the next level.
	Baronet, please knight me as Sir Wasteless Lost Baronet of Timber Hill.
	Can I request a round of Polish potato vodka for the ceremony?
	Hold on.
	Polish potato vodka.
	I've got to put this on the list.
	Yes.
	People should know that it was Poland that invented vodka.
	Doesn't the best vodka still come from Poland?
	Yes, the best vodka comes from Poland.
	And the good vodka is spelled with a W. That is right, my Slavic brother!
	It's W-O-D-K-A. Vodka.
	We call it vodka.
	If you look at the history of Poland, one of the really, you know, where a lot of great scientists came from, Copernicus and others, if you look at the, JC loves pointing this out, the history of Poland kind of disappears for about 300 years after the invention of vodka.
	Hmm.
	Hmm.
	Apparently they really like drinking it.
	I wonder.
	They like drinking it.
	Yeah.
	For jingles, send my way.
	There's no conflict.
	Two to the head and the goat scream or the service goat karma.
	Okay.
	Also, really sweet man is battling pancreatic cancer.
	Please add an F cancer to this.
	No, to fish.
	I think his name is fish.
	There's no real conflict.
	Wait a minute.
	I want to do that over again.
	I want to do over.
	I'd like a mulligan on that because I got confused.
	Mulligan?
	I want a mully.
	I want a mully.
	Here we go.
	There's no real conflict!
	You've got...
	Karma.
	That's all I wanted.
	Um...
	Brandon Traineek.
	Brandon Trank, Arizona 333.
	Greetings.
	Wanted to donate $9.99 on this show, but that 10th anniversary offer was way just too good, so I did it then.
	As I said then, I needed jobs, Karma.
	I am now free of the awful gun laws and safe space social justice warriors defending the Hollywood human trafficking ring.
	Fast forward to 1.5 months from my last donation, and I went from having no job and nothing really going on for me.
	This is an old one, John.
	This is an old one.
	Really?
	I think so.
	Yeah.
	I don't remember reading it.
	Yeah.
	I have an odd memory like that.
	Yeah, I know you did last time, too, and you were wrong.
	Okay.
	I'm looking at 9 or 9 or 8.
	Maybe it was...
	I don't know.
	I could be wrong.
	Again.
	I think what it was.
	But I remember this...
	I remember what...
	I think I know to tell you what it was.
	He sent an email.
	You read it.
	Yeah, you're right.
	I gotta be careful of that.
	You're right.
	I read it.
	This is the...
	Now that you bring it up, I will mention this is the problem with pre-interviews on talk shows.
	It makes them boring, and this is why you have to really ad-lib the show.
	Which is talent.
	You need talent for that.
	You have to have some skills, yeah.
	Some.
	Probably some.
	Fast forward.
	I went from having no job, nothing really going on for me, having a new job, paying $41,000 a year, full benefits.
	That's a big deal.
	That's $80,000 right there.
	And I bought a house.
	I really enjoy the job, the freedom of the house.
	And the house.
	Take notes, people.
	Donated the show.
	I asked for the blessing of our lovely goat, JCD. Actually banned it while reading my note 977.
	This might be where you...
	Yeah, that's why it stuck with me.
	You're right.
	Yeah.
	And service goat.
	Provided thanks to the information you're providing.
	I look forward to the show 1,000.
	Please give me some service goat for those who can't afford it.
	Thanks.
	You've got karma.
	Alright, down to associate executive producers on this big show.
	It's a big show.
	Nancy Mixo, you think?
	Mixo and 250 bucks.
	While back, I set up a recurring donation of $33.99 per month for the show.
	I thought it might be close to knighthood, so I added everything up and found that I had passed the knighthood, and I'm halfway to Baronet, accounting below.
	Please knight me Dame Nancy of New Jersey.
	I'm not trying to claim anyone's territory, but It's just where I live.
	If you can find the clip you once played of Nancy Pelosi saying thank you, Nancy.
	Thanks, Nancy.
	I only have that.
	I don't have a Nancy Pelosi saying it.
	Thanks, Nancy.
	But I have that.
	I don't remember the Nancy.
	I think that's what she's referring to.
	Can you play that?
	If not, can I have travel karma?
	My husband and I are going to be driving across the country so we can use it.
	Thanks for all you do.
	It's a fun thing to do, drive across the country.
	And we have this for you.
	Thanks, Nancy.
	You've got karma.
	Thanks, Nancy.
	Thanks, Nancy.
	All right, onward to...
	Squire Stickton in Houston, Texas.
	I have a note here.
	And these are associate executive producers.
	Nancy was the first of the associates.
	And Squire Stickton is the second, yes.
	Okay, I got fakeologist.
	Is this Stickton?
	Yeah, here it is.
	Sir Stickton of the West Side Villages, to be exact.
	I wrote this check in June and addressed...
	Oh, this is going to be fun to take to the bank, by the way.
	I wrote this check in June.
	It's the same.
	He didn't rewrite the check.
	He sent me the June check, which the bank is going to go, okay.
	I wrote this check in June and addressed the envelope thingy at the time.
	I'll send this check when I've collected pithy, witty observations to add a note to.
	Six months later, and pithy, witty has not graced my consciousness, so here's the check.
	I don't know if Banks accepts six-month-old checks, but give it a shot.
	Yeah.
	Add 20 bucks to it if it gets bounced.
	This donation brings me to Knighthood, and Sir Stickton of the West Side Villages will do just fine for a title.
	I think that's on there.
	Not much for requesting jingles, but since most of the good ones get played repeatedly, let's try these.
	Oh, okay.
	Here we go.
	Okay, yeah.
	In fact, I should have sent you this in advance.
	Yes, you've always been saying that for 900 episodes.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, well...
	Let's try.
	Let's try.
	By episode 1500, I guarantee it.
	Okay.
	Jeb Bush requesting supporters to clap.
	Okay.
	Now, this one you won't get, I guarantee it, because I don't remember it.
	One person clapping in the Canadian Parliament during Justin Trudeau's speech in regard to reparations for...
	If individuals identified as LGBT, I vaguely remember that he wanted reparations.
	I think I remember what that is.
	And last, this one you won't get either.
	So we're not going to play these, but at least we'll give it a shot.
	Sharpton trying to say asterisk.
	Let me just see this for a second.
	Public service, the military, and the RCMP spied on their own people inside and outside of workplaces.
	During this time, the federal government even dedicated funding to an absurd device known as...
	No, that's not the one.
	I'm trying to think, because Sharpton, he called it an ass...
	Shut up, shut up, shut up.
	Ass take.
	Yeah.
	Um...
	Hmm.
	You have successfully stumped the panel.
	Oh, shit!
	I did something really...
	Oh, I did something really bad.
	Uh-oh.
	Uh-oh.
	You not only stumped the panel, but you ruined the show.
	You've ruined the show.
	I'll tell you what's happening as we speak.
	So my entire system, everything's in a database.
	And I wanted to type in ASTIC, and I only typed in the A and the S, and then accidentally hit enter.
	So everything with ASS? Well, the database is quite large, as you can imagine.
	So just cover a little bit.
	Oh, I can do that.
	Yeah, can you play something?
	Because it'll take a moment for this to recover.
	No, I think all we have to do is we don't have to play anything.
	We'll come back to Squire Stickton.
	It was now Knight Stickton.
	Knight Sir Stickton of the West Side Villages.
	And we'll come back to him and I'll read the next note.
	Ah, you did it!
	Okay.
	Now let me see if I can find a Sharpton.
	Sharpton...
	Let me see.
	That was pretty quick.
	Yeah, it's...
	Well, I have a very powerful machine, John.
	Oh, it's a Windows machine, too, I guess.
	You got it.
	We have so many...
	So many Sharpton things...
	Maybe it was just in one of those Sharpton Against the Teleprompter?
	I think it was one of the compilations.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that's what I think.
	Well, I can play a compilation.
	Please clap.
	Resist.
	We must.
	We must.
	They're all jitty about a shutdown.
	The Tortise in the race.
	Then co-author of...
	Tortise.
	You two lead singer Bono.
	Fran Drescher.
	Siganoy Weaver.
	Suspect Jahar Sanayev.
	Rush Limbaugh.
	The show Rush Lombard hosts Supreme Court Justice Sonia Santamaya.
	It's Mike Muckery.
	Yesterday, Antonin Scalia.
	Kim Kardashian and the Republican candidates.
	Both Cairo and Benghazi.
	We rank behind La Vita.
	First up...
	Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan to college students in Beijing.
	He's getting lunch at Chipotle in Iowa.
	Bain is appropriate.
	The GOP's tax day giveaway to millionaires.
	Why was traffic problems email sent?
	The Environmental Projection Agency and what sequestration has done.
	Wow.
	You've got karma.
	Unbelievable.
	But it wasn't in there.
	I'm a little upset by that.
	No, that's funny.
	I remember it vividly.
	And I can't believe we didn't ISO that.
	Because that's something we would have ISOed.
	I would think.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Don't have it.
	Sorry.
	Sorry.
	You stumped the panel.
	That's good.
	Oh, someone will send it to me.
	Onward to John Darius...
	Soltis, DJ Powerboy.
	DJ Powerboy, Soltis.
	23481.
	This is my third donation and third associate executive producership, all of which have been accredited show that have three identical digits.
	Coincidence?
	I think not.
	Oh, okay.
	Just getting that.
	I'm overjoyed to finally be in good financial track again and can now contribute a small portion of the value I have received.
	This miraculous change in fortune must be the result of excessive jobs karma exposure.
	Mit iodine.
	My first donation was back in 2013 and I have been an avid listener ever since.
	So on this most suspicious occasion I could profusely that profusely Thank you, as I have done in the past, for the OMG. It's amazing work you do, you too do, and have been doing.
	I could try to make some ingratiating and nerdy joke that Buzzkill will most likely fumble.
	Hey!
	I could even call out Stephan Edward Lehman of Spartanburg, South Carolina as a douchebag.
	For the third time.
	Oops.
	Oops.
	There we go.
	Three times a charm.
	Danny says, but what good would it do?
	Early congratulations on show 1000.
	If either of you ever in the Denver metro area, I'd be honored to personally give you a tour of the CO2 cannabis extraction laboratory.
	As soon to be famous, we're a Colorado cannabis company where I work in the lab.
	Okay.
	To the gate, to the gate, to the climate gate, two to the head, and it was worth it.
	To the gate, to the gate, to the climate gate.
	It was worth it.
	It was worth it.
	You've got karma.
	It was worth it.
	Yay!
	It was worth it.
	Sir Nick, .4D, Waterford, Michigan.
	If you're not in Local 1, join.
	They're having meetups a lot.
	At least once a month.
	Well, I think pretty much once a month.
	220-69 Waterford, Michigan.
	I wasn't planning on donating, but seeing Adam went completely insane last show, I had to donate.
	I'm asking you, what is he referring to?
	I have no idea.
	What did I do wrong?
	What did I do this time?
	I went insane.
	He didn't say anything wrong.
	Hmm.
	This donation to 22069, which is current Windows Insider's fast ring bill, 17074 plus 999 nickels, is to officially welcome Adam into the micro-surfdom.
	May he always be prosperous in the covenant and his PC never bug-checked during the show.
	My PC's never bug-checked.
	It's bullcrap.
	Can I get a...
	Mexican Hat Dance Obama, Fake News Orgasm, Goat Scream Karma.
	Thank you for your courage.
	Here's to do $9.99 more shows and another Michigan Meetup.
	Oh, he is a member of Local One.
	Station 8.
	Okay, I'm going to read this.
	There'll be another Michigan Meetup at Station 885 in Plymouth, Michigan, next Sunday, the 21st at 11 a.m.
	Please RSVP in the mail chain at No Agenda Detroit.
	I didn't know about this.
	NoagendaDetroit at umich.edu.
	I don't know.
	I don't know what the...
	I know what he's talking about.
	The fake news jingle with the orgasm.
	But, of course, it's not titled fake news orgasm.
	And we have a lot of fake news jingles.
	So I'm just going to grab one.
	I'm sorry.
	I don't know exactly which one he would want.
	I do, of course, have...
	Hey!
	Come on, guys.
	No, no, no, no, no, no.
	Same on you.
	Hey!
	Hey!
	Okay.
	Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	I'm up in the house.
	Hey!
	Breaking the boot.
	Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	Fake news.
	Made up.
	False stories.
	Fake news. Unreliable sources.
	Fake news.
	Sound bites and snippets.
	Fake news. Fake news. Fake news. Fake news infects the left and the right.
	You've got karma.
	Sorry.
	Yeah!
	I'll have to look for it.
	It's hard to find that one.
	Carolyn Blaney in Toronto, Ontario, 209.99.
	Thank you for your courage, John and Adam.
	Happy New Year.
	The best podcast in the universe has brought me so much valuable information.
	As the years go on, the show becomes more relevant and necessary.
	I just want to give a plug to Nick the Rat Show and recommend everyone listen, if you haven't already.
	Please give a jobs karma, Pelosi slash Trump jobs karma, that is.
	An ISIS in America and a Trudeau thank you for your courage.
	Ooh.
	ISIS in America and Trudeau.
	Do we have that?
	I don't know of it.
	I don't remember it.
	Thank you for your courage.
	Hmm.
	We have it from Trudeau.
	I'm trying to outsmart the database.
	Ah, okay.
	Yeah, I found someone saying it.
	We'll see how far we get.
	That's not even close.
	Shoot, man.
	I don't know.
	I just can't find these today.
	That's tough.
	Two stumps in one show.
	Trudeau.
	I don't remember it.
	Yeah, I do.
	I do, but I think it was part of a longer clip and it wasn't ISOed or anything like that.
	A lot of these, we don't really have ISOed, so they can't be played.
	Yeah, it makes it a little difficult.
	Well, we'll just do a Bernie Sanders then, close enough.
	And what else does he want?
	Jobs karma.
	Trump jobs karma, that is.
	ISIS in America.
	ISIS in America and a jobs karma.
	Is Trump Pelosi jobs karma, correct?
	Yes, Trump Pelosi.
	Ow!
	ISIS. To the gates of hell.
	ISIS. I feel good!
	Thank you for your courage.
	Jobs.
	Jobs.
	And jobs.
	Let's vote for jobs!
	You've got karma.
	That was Saunders saying it?
	Yeah, Saunders.
	Not Saunders.
	Saunders.
	That's Saunders.
	Bernie Saunders.
	Bernie Saunders.
	Yes, Bernie Saunders.
	Sir Jeffrey Yerke, my partner in trying to get every Red Fox album recoded, which we haven't done for about two years.
	$202.02, so all that two's in there.
	Sir Jeff Yerke in Concord, California, please give me a congrats on $9.99 and give me a don't raff.
	Isn't this an interesting coincidence?
	Don't raff.
	Random numbers.
	And a brof, Dr.
	Fauci and karma.
	Don't raff.
	Why are you laughing?
	Shut up.
	Good to be here, brof.
	Shut up.
	You've got karma.
	All right, as we wrap, we got the last one, which is a $200 donation from the Fakeologist in Toronto, Ontario at fakeologist.com.
	It's my second annual donation to your fantastic show.
	Although you don't go as far as fakeologist.com to acknowledge the endless HRDPAR hyper-realistic drills portrayed as real, You provide so much podcast technical information and critical analysis of the media in an entertaining and educational way that I must support you.
	Thank you.
	I encourage many of your ideas into the Fakeologist and Fakeologist audio chat podcast that I encourage your listeners to subscribe to.
	Please find a check for 200 Canadian dollars at par for your show.
	I remind people to support all new media if they want to see it continue.
	Your model is the future, and I hope you continue to succeed in proving it.
	I request that WTC7 won't go away, the service goat scream, and yum.
	WTC7, service goat scream, and yum?
	Yum.
	You know, yum.
	You know, it's that woman who sees the juice.
	Mmm.
	Is it called juice yum?
	It might be juice yum, but I think there's just a yum.
	Mmm.
	Eh, just but juice yum is good enough.
	WTC7 won't come away.
	Juice.
	The juice that comes out.
	My hand is dripping wet here because I have nothing but juice.
	That's actually better.
	I agree.
	Who knew?
	Who knew?
	We got even better ones.
	So I do want to mention a little card I got apparently from Wrigley Geek.
	It was a Christmas card from the Kemps.
	But I think it was from one of the kids.
	Love you, man.
	My family calls you guys the angry men.
	They'll come around someday.
	Are you listening to those angry men again?
	The angry men.
	Wake up, says Wrigley Geek.
	So he's in Chicago, so Wrigley would make sense.
	I got a great little care package from the Michigan one.
	Group?
	Yeah.
	They sent me...
	Right, they said there was backroom chatter on it.
	Yes.
	There was chatter about it.
	Well, I have a Ford truck, and they all work for Ford.
	And so they sent me this care package.
	First, they sent me this beautiful...
	It's the rear end of a Ford...
	What would that be?
	I have the note here.
	The F1, and it's a key rack.
	So you're hanging on the wall, it's the back of a Ford F1 truck, one of those old-fashioned ones, and you hang your keys on it.
	That sounds cool.
	It's very nice.
	Sounds like great junk to have.
	Yes.
	Actually, it's a nice piece.
	It's one of those things that you'll pick up in a Curioso shop when I'm dead.
	There's a DVD of the first 100 years, the history of Ford trucks.
	There is a book...
	The creation of the Ford Empire, Henry and Edsel.
	And then I would have to say my favorite is the oven mitt in the shape of Michigan.
	With Michigan and all the cities and towns on it.
	Yes.
	Do you know what the states...
	You got a key fob too.
	You're going to use the key fob?
	I didn't get a key fob.
	I thought they sent you a key fob.
	No, that's the key holder.
	Ah.
	Yes.
	So they told you about my gifts in advance?
	Nice.
	No, no, I'm on the local one mailing list.
	Oh, okay.
	The chatter goes back and forth.
	I'm a lurker.
	So what is the state flower of Michigan?
	Dandelion.
	We're sorry.
	It's the apple blossom.
	It's on my oven mitt.
	What is the state bird?
	The state bird is a crow.
	Okay.
	So close to the robin.
	How about the state fish?
	State fish is a rainbow trout.
	Oh, brook trout.
	Close.
	And then finally, the tree?
	Poison ivy.
	You nailed it.
	Poison oak.
	Poison oak.
	The white pine.
	Yes.
	Good word.
	And then I got another package here, and I'm a little worried about this.
	Hold on, let me get it.
	This box was delivered with DHL, and it's from Scandinavia.
	It must weigh 7 or 8 pounds.
	No, 20 pounds.
	It says it right here on the package.
	And it's completely, you know, listen, it sounds like that.
	And it says, ITM, open honor before show 1000, critical show item.
	But listen to this.
	It sounds like there's ball bearings in there, and this thing is probably going to blow my head off when I open it.
	Cool.
	That would be a way to finish 1,000 shows.
	It'd be legendary.
	So I'm thinking maybe I should open it after show 1,000.
	No, you have to open it before.
	That's what he says.
	Open it now.
	No, I'm not going to open it now.
	I'm a little concerned.
	They've x-rayed most things now.
	It's pretty hard to get bombs through the mail.
	Most DHL though.
	Yeah.
	They don't care.
	They don't give a crap.
	Well, in case I'm still here for the next show.
	Actually, DHL says for dynamite here, lady.
	Yeah.
	Good one.
	Sorry.
	In case I am still here, then we will be doing a show on Thursday.
	And that will be show 1,000.
	So we're T-1, and you'll get a newsletter and information on any special, say, other ones.
	Just show 1,000.
	1K, the big one, baby.
	And we appreciate your support.
	Go to...
	And tell your friends and family about those angry men.
	Propagate our formula.
	Our formula is this.
	Angry men.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	Angry men!
	Shut up, Slay.
	Angry men!
	Shut up!
	Hey!
	Angry men.
	We're just angry men, dude.
	Bunch of angry old men.
	Yep, yep, yep, yep.
	Oh!
	Eh!
	I have two pro tips for everybody.
	Pro tips?
	Pro tips, pro tips, pro tips.
	First of all, I've gotten these from our producers.
	The first pro tip is, and I like this one a lot better than most, because people have suggested if you want to be able to get past the paywall of the Wall Street Journal and these other things, you know, this plug-ins and all kinds of ways to do it.
	But, you know, that rarely...
	It works because you have different browsers and different devices, and it's just a pain in the ass to have to maintain it.
	But the pro tip is, you take the URL from the article in front of the paywall, and you go to archive.is, and you plug it in there, and boom, count four.
	It shows up.
	And this is an interesting system.
	It's an archiving system.
	So if you have access to an article on the Wall Street Journal and you want other people to be able to read it, you go to archive.is and you paste it in there and it will save it.
	And then other people can retrieve it.
	And this has worked quite well for me.
	The second...
	Yes, go ahead.
	The second one is the one I use.
	I'm sure of it.
	And I got about three people that chimed in with the same thing.
	You know, hey, there's a very easy way to get around.
	It's because of the nature of the way they're doing their cookies.
	But that's just the Wall Street Journal.
	But this works for everything.
	This works for everything, it seems.
	Which is just open a private browser.
	Yeah, that works.
	Now...
	Search engine pro tip.
	And I'd forgotten about these.
	And this is a really nice one.
	The concept of a meta search engine.
	So how do we wean ourselves away from, how do we decentralize search?
	Let's put it that way.
	It's searx, S-E-A-R-X dot me.
	You can go to it right now.
	That is a meta search engine.
	It's open source.
	S-E-A-R-X dot me.
	It's an open source meta search engine, which does the following.
	You enter your search, and you can set this even as a default in any browser, Except iOS, of course.
	In any browser, it's right in there.
	You can just say, change my search engine, and you look down the list in Chrome as an example, and you can see it says CRX.me.
	And so because it only uses a POST request, you are not tracked, there's no cookie written, and you get results from, you can choose which search engines you want.
	They have a list which is quite large, and they have an API. And this is what I like about it, is that we could now tie in the bingit.co, the no agenda search, into this, and it would deliver results from that into the meta search engine.
	This is a good idea.
	This is how you decentralize search.
	And, you know, you can turn on the Wikipedia search specifically or off.
	It has little shortcuts.
	You can say, you know, by typing in, I think if you do G-O exclamation mark, then it'll only return results from the Google search.
	It's fantastic.
	I like it.
	I'm playing with it now.
	You got everything you want.
	I say ping it!
	Bing it.
	Bing it good.
	I said bing it.
	Bing it good. .
	Woo!
	Gotta love to bing it.
	That was one of ours.
	But this is a pro tip, and I like it.
	And we can integrate all kinds of interesting things into this.
	So dudes and dudettes named Ben, check it out.
	I would gladly put bingit.co.
	I want to put one of these up there.
	Looks good.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's good.
	This is very, very...
	It's a way to decentralize and remove power from those that have it.
	And I'm always all for that.
	Well, yes.
	Taxi!
	Okay.
	Yeah, I got that for Christmas.
	Hey, did you see the new Letterman show on Netflix?
	Not yet.
	Oh.
	Boring!
	Boring!
	Well, I would...
	Yeah, that's what my guess would be, because his phenomenal guests are all just a bunch of...
	Boring people.
	The show is called My Next Guest, subtitled Needs No Introduction, and there's a lot wrong with it.
	The first thing is Letterman is no longer Letterman.
	He is now the retired guy who makes jokes about his retirement.
	In fact, his first guest was President Obama.
	And the conversation kept coming back to what he did after he retired.
	It was very odd.
	Letterman even stopped himself from doing it at a certain point.
	The second thing wrong is the beard.
	I don't care how he wants to look, but we've lost all of his facial expressions, which arguably was an important part of his television persona.
	You can no longer see his facial expressions.
	I don't know why he thinks that beard is so cool.
	I don't know.
	He looks like a maniac, like some fart.
	Jim Carrey has the same hair growth on his chin when he grows it.
	It's just, I don't know.
	I don't find it attractive, but I find mainly it's like Botox for men.
	You can't see his expression anymore.
	You have no idea what he's thinking.
	It's just dumb.
	Obama was on.
	Tina and I were watching.
	This is the problem when you produce your own show when you never have done that.
	He has been produced.
	By various producers who rein him in and they make him do stuff and he bitches about it and it gives him an edge because he's irked by his producers telling him he can't do this or he can't do that.
	This is like the first guy, the guy who's been, somebody's been doing and producing his stuff forever and he decides to become a podcaster.
	So, you know, he's...
	He's working without a net and thinking that's cool, but it might not be cool for everybody.
	And it's in a theater on a big stage and they're on the stage with two chairs and it's just a conversation.
	But that doesn't work.
	It doesn't work on television.
	It would be interesting if you closed your eyes and it was mic'd properly and it sounded really good.
	That would be something I'd listen to in the car.
	I'd listen to a podcast.
	But there's absolutely no reason to watch it.
	If anything, it detracts.
	It distracts, really, from what's being said.
	Although, a lot of people pointed out this ditty.
	I was under the impression that Twitter would be the mechanism by which truth was told around the world.
	If you are getting all your information off algorithms being sent through a phone, and it is just reinforcing whatever biases...
	I love how he simplifies what an algo is.
	It's really nice.
	If you are getting all your information off algorithms being sent through a phone, and it is just reinforcing whatever biases you have, which is...
	The pattern that develops.
	There was an interesting experiment.
	Lost the train of thought there.
	Not a big scientific experiment, but just an experiment that somebody did during...
	Now listen to this bullshit story.
	He's talking about a scientific study.
	Not really.
	It was just something people did.
	He doesn't know what.
	He's just making it up on the spot.
	The pattern that develops.
	There was an interesting experiment, not a big scientific experiment, but just an experiment that somebody did during the revolution that was taking place in Egypt, in Tahrir Square.
	Somebody took a liberal, a conservative, and quote-unquote moderate, and sent them on a Google search.
	Egypt.
	Type it in.
	And for the conservative, it came up Muslim Brotherhood.
	And for the liberal, it came up Tahrir Square.
	And for the moderate, it came up vacation spots on the Nile.
	But whatever your biases were, that's where you were being sent.
	And that gets more and more reinforced over time.
	That's what's happening with these Facebook pages where more and more people are getting their news from.
	At a certain point, you just live in a bubble.
	And that's part of why our politics is so polarized right now.
	I think it is a solvable problem, but I think it's one that we have to spend a lot of time thinking about.
	It seems like a valuable tool that has turned against us.
	Yeah, there you go.
	Boy, that was great.
	Everyone should have honked a horn to wake me up.
	That's pretty much what the entire show is.
	It's boring.
	Yeah, well, he doesn't have a producer, and the show is not designed to be entertaining, apparently.
	It's just him yakking with someone.
	Yeah, it's not entertaining.
	But at least he mentioned the algos.
	Meet the algos.
	Meet the algos.
	So there's a couple of things...
	There's another little news item that didn't get a lot of play.
	Because they were so good with the shithole thing, they couldn't get to some of those other Trump screw-ups.
	And this one, I think, is a Trump screw-up.
	So let's play.
	This is the FISA vote.
	Trump tweeted, you know, one thing and then he tweeted another.
	Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	Tell me what's going on with, I don't know about the FISA votes.
	Tell me what's happening.
	Well, all you have to do is play clip one.
	FISA vote Trump waffles.
	This evening, the mixed messages from President Trump today on a key security surveillance law.
	In an early morning tweet, the president suggested he oppose the law, saying it was used to abuse and surveil his campaign.
	Two hours later, an apparent reversal.
	So what happened in between?
	ABC senior White House correspondent Cecilia Vega on that tonight.
	A morning of confusion began with this comment on one of President Trump's favorite morning shows, a direct message to the president about that controversial surveillance program Congress was set to reauthorize today.
	I don't understand why Donald Trump is in favor of this.
	His woes began with unlawful foreign surveillance and unconstitutional domestic surveillance of him.
	Mr.
	President, this is not the way to go.
	Minutes later, the president took to Twitter using the exact language that appeared on Fox and Friends.
	Wait, I thought he watched the Gorilla Channel.
	Now, I have to stop right here because it was nothing close to the exact language.
	They slipped that in.
	This is kind of like the Major Garrett report where they decide to drop one of these little needles in there to just kind of give it to him and imply that he's like a plagiarist or can't think for himself or can't...
	Can't put together a sentence because he can't read.
	We know that.
	You know, that sort of thing.
	All these images that they keep giving us.
	It is not the exact language at all.
	So I compared the two and it was the same idea.
	Can you give us the language?
	Can we hear it?
	No, I can't.
	I can just assure you that it's not the same.
	But anyway, onward with part two of this.
	It's language that appeared on Fox and Friends.
	House votes on controversial FISA Act today.
	He said this is the act that may have been used to so badly surveil and abuse the Trump campaign by the previous administration and others.
	The President's tweets seem to contradict his own policy.
	The White House supports reauthorizing FISA, the program that allows the government to conduct warrantless surveillance on suspected terrorists overseas and on U.S. soil.
	Cue the chaos on Capitol Hill.
	A flurry of calls between the president and confused lawmakers.
	Speaker Paul Ryan spent half an hour on the phone with him.
	After those calls, the president appeared to backtrack in a follow-up tweet.
	Today's vote is about foreign surveillance of foreign bad guys on foreign land.
	We need it.
	Get smart.
	Ultimately, the House did vote to reauthorize the law.
	Did he not understand what bill you were voting on today?
	He just has concerns about other parts of FISA. I think everybody knows that, too.
	And the top Democrat on the Senate Intelligence Committee went on the attack, saying the president endangered national security and that, quote, FISA is something the president should have known about long before he turned on Fox this morning.
	Many people are interpreting that first tweet from the president to mean he didn't actually know how FISA works and, for that matter, that he wasn't familiar with his own administration's policy.
	Does he know FISA? Was he familiar with the policy?
	He does, which is why he issued a presidential memo last week expressing concerns, and he has a full understanding.
	I'll bet he does.
	Yeah, they try to twist this.
	The guy doesn't even know what FISA means, even though he was caught up in it.
	It doesn't make any sense what they're saying.
	And yeah, he got probably scolded by the shadow government or something when he decided to kind of push back on FISA, which is something they should do because it's only – it's a new thing that was just implemented around 2002.
	And now all of a sudden it's so important even though it doesn't – it's really used for spying and blackmail.
	Yeah, that's why he wants it to keep it.
	Well, he doesn't know what he's doing in this regard.
	He doesn't know what he wants to keep it.
	I mean, Napolitano laid it out, and by the way, they did read his tweet, and you can tell his tweet that they read at the beginning of that clip.
	It sounded nothing like what Napolitano said, which is what I was trying to get at earlier.
	This is like...
	The most anti-American thing, that whole Patriot Act and this FISA court is a kangaroo court, it's a secret court.
	It's ridiculous that they're allowing this.
	And they keep it going, and everyone's all in.
	The Democrats, the Republicans, and that asshole Warner, you know, comes in and says, he doesn't know anything.
	This is the most important thing in the world.
	He's risking national security.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	That was almost as boring as the Letterman clip.
	No, it wasn't.
	Yeah, it was, kind of.
	But it does bring me to, since we're kind of going in that direction, this was rather surprising.
	You know, I think now in the Russian collusion investigation, now there's been a retraction, so the claim that FBI had a mole inside the Trump team is...
	Not true.
	This came this morning.
	Indictment in the Russian bribery case.
	Who gives a crap about that?
	These are all like indictments for lying to the FBI. Yeah, yeah.
	Which seems to be a trend.
	It's not an indictment for doing anything.
	No, it seems to be a trend is lying to the FBI. All the cool kids are doing it.
	But the deep state was working the fusion GPS angle very hard.
	If you're not under oath, does the FBI make you sign something that says you can't lie to them?
	How tall are you?
	I'm 6'2".
	You're 6'1".
	You throw them in jail.
	I mean, come on.
	So the Fusion GPS dossier, the dossier, was being disclosed and talked about to celebrities over a year ago.
	And the evidence I have for that is that they even talked to a, I would say, a reasonably low-ranked celebrity.
	Granted, he's famous.
	You know Moby, of course.
	Low ranked.
	Low ranked.
	Well, Moby.
	You got this month's rankings, Bill?
	Where's Moby on the showbiz ranking?
	Moby.
	Moby.
	Yeah, Moby.
	Yeah, Moby shouldn't even be on there unless Moby is a member of the Council on Foreign Relations.
	Well, Moby was approached.
	Years of touring and spending time in D.C. and New York, I've managed to make a few friends In the intelligence community.
	Makes nothing but sense.
	I guess it was about a year ago.
	Yeah, I was traveling the world.
	They needed to get some debriefings.
	Hey, where'd you go?
	They'd tell us, did you meet anybody?
	You know.
	Now that you say that...
	...in the intelligence community.
	And I guess it was about a year ago, we were having dinner, and they were really concerned, partially based on this, not to go too much in the weeds, but like this Fusion GPS... Report on Trump essentially being run as a Russian agent.
	And these are some active and former CIA agents who, they're truly concerned.
	They were like, this is the Manchurian candidate.
	Like, he has a Russian agent as the president of the United States.
	Now, hold on a second.
	What's interesting about this is he says CIA. So CIA, who have not really been brought up in context of this.
	I don't remember him saying CIA in that.
	Just intelligence community.
	...agents who were, they're truly concerned.
	They were like, they didn't go too much in the weeds, but like this fusion GPS... Report on Trump essentially being run as a Russian agent.
	And these are some active and former CIA agents.
	Oh, you hear it there?
	Okay.
	Yep, yep, yep.
	They're truly concerned.
	They were like, this is the Manchurian candidate.
	Like, he would have a Russian agent as the president of the United States.
	And so they passed on some information to me and they said, like, look, you have more of a social media following than any of us do.
	Can you please post some of these things?
	That's how it works.
	You know, you look at Dianne Feinstein who released the testimony from when Fusion GPS went before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and she just released those notes yesterday.
	And yeah, it does seem like to what extent there's collusion, I don't know.
	But where there's smoke, there's fire.
	Oh, yeah.
	I don't know if there's anything going on, but there's smoke.
	And you have so much evidence pointing to the fact that the Trump administration is really in bed with the Russians.
	Where's the evidence?
	The CIA said it.
	Shut up.
	...in vicious way.
	And...
	Unfortunately, I just don't see people in Congress sort of holding the administration accountable.
	It's really disturbing, and it's going to get quite a lot darker.
	The depths of the Trump family and business, their involvement with organized crime, sponsors of terrorism, Russian oligarchs.
	It's really dark.
	I guess we should all fasten our seatbelts and hold on.
	Spot the spook.
	Spot the spook.
	Everybody wants to spot the spook.
	Well, you're playing stuff.
	You might as well play Clip of the Day as far as I'm concerned.
	Thank you very much.
	That was unexpected.
	Clip of the Day.
	I mean, that's out of left field, so I'm always a fan of that.
	So where was this broadcast?
	Where'd you get this clip?
	This was...
	Oh, I'd have to look in my clip list.
	Is it on a podcast?
	That's possible.
	Let me see.
	It sounds like a podcast kind of discussion.
	I got it off of YouTube.
	Oh, it's an interview done by Pitchfork.
	They're a legitimate outlet.
	Pitchfork as a music outlet.
	The thing with Moby, though...
	When we go to sleep, I like to put on very soft Mozart or maybe some very soft piano.
	And one night I tried Moby's sleep thing.
	He has a sleep album.
	He has a sleep album where he gives you subliminal messages?
	Maybe.
	Kill all humans.
	Tina woke up and then she went to the bathroom and I was awake and she comes back and says, What is this?
	My head is going...
	I said, oh, I'm sorry, but it's Moby.
	He said, so what if it's Moby?
	I was all like, but it's Moby.
	It must be good.
	It's Moby.
	That's you saying that.
	That's me saying that, yeah.
	She's like, turn that crap off.
	What do I live in a shithole?
	Well, this guy, spot the spook, jeez.
	What else do you want me to tweet, boys?
	I thought, yeah.
	And I thought that it was CIA is telling.
	It's just telling about something.
	I wonder how they got this, where they...
	I mean, I think it's fairly well...
	I mean, you can't be the big shot billionaire in construction in New York City.
	Without having ties to the mob, yeah.
	Without having ties to the mob, because you've got to deal with things.
	Things happen.
	You've got to deal with them somehow.
	You can't do it by yourself.
	We've got some things we've got to deal with.
	So he's got to deal with some things, and so he has these contacts.
	Now, the other thing that I noticed recently was this This Mort Zuckerman, who runs the, or owns the, or did own the Daily News, and they had the big turd on the cover recently, and said, shit for brains, and the turd had a Donald Trump haircut.
	And so, looking into this, I mean, these guys have some grudge.
	It goes way back.
	I didn't know that Mort was a real estate developer competing with Trump.
	Oh, there you go.
	And so they go way back.
	And so there was something that happened a long time ago.
	And then more recently, Trump, and I think this has been brought up a few times, you can look up the Juckerman-Trump thing on Bing, and you'll find some references to this particular story where Trump says that Mord and his partner, running the Daily News back in the late 90s, came to him and he saved the newspaper.
	Huh.
	And so I say, save the newspaper.
	And then Mort says, no, we don't even remember this meeting.
	So I'm thinking about this.
	What was it that happened?
	Because there was no mention of money.
	He didn't give him money to save this.
	He called one of his mob buddies and said, hey, these guys are getting harassed by the health department or something.
	There's something going on that we don't know.
	There's no discussion of the details.
	So I'm assuming it's something he did him a favor and I did you a favor.
	And so he feels they're not very forthcoming with the...
	They're blasting him left and right.
	At least more it is because the other guy went to Washington, D.C. and he's like part owner of the Redskins.
	But there's a lot of...
	We know there's a sketchy background because you can't be a big shot like this in New York City without being tight with the mob.
	Correct.
	It's just not possible.
	No.
	But that's different than the Russians.
	Is he tight with the Russian mob?
	Maybe he only did business with the Russian mob.
	That's possible.
	I mean, they're pretty powerful.
	They're in New York.
	They're in New York.
	They're in Los Angeles.
	They're all over the place.
	They're a group of guys that can take care of things.
	So who knows?
	But the CIA seems to be pretty worked up about it if they got these ex-guys.
	Yeah, but it's been the FBI's case, the FBI's file, their dossier.
	What is CIA doing?
	And that was when Obama was still president, I presume.
	I don't know.
	Whatever it is, they just don't like this guy.
	But why would they like Hillary?
	Moby's not saying that.
	No, he's not.
	And you know, when we want political advice, we go to Moby.
	Well, from now on we are.
	Exactly.
	Bitcoin!
	Woohoo!
	Baby!
	Bitcoin!
	A little bit of Bitcoin news for you.
	Currently $13,548.
	Not doing too well for the people who got in.
	Not doing too well.
	If you bought it at 50 cents, what would you be saying?
	I'm talking about the people who bought the dip.
	Oh, the dip.
	Buy the dip, people.
	Buy the dip.
	I'm going to predict it will see $11,550 before it will go up again.
	What?
	Who cares?
	Who cares what you predict?
	It could go up, it could go down.
	Okay.
	But the blockchain technology is everywhere, John.
	Oh, blockchain.
	The blockchain.
	You guys must talk about that a lot on the Dvorak Horowitz Unplugged show.
	The blockchain technology.
	No, neither one of us really know what it means.
	Really?
	You know what it means.
	You attach it to a company name and boom, boom, five, six.
	No, that's a coin.
	No, that's not even true.
	No, no, you put blockchain.
	One company, Kodak, said we're the blockchain company now and the stock skyrocketed.
	No, the Long Island blockchain company was the Long Island tea company.
	Yeah, the Long Island iced tea company, yeah.
	Well, so the blockchain, it is being used in a new category called fintech.
	Fintech.
	Fintech.
	FinTech is not a new category.
	It's a new hype.
	It's a new hype.
	It's a hype category.
	And blockchain is a part of this.
	And the reason why it is interesting is when you have a decentralized ledger, then it's much harder, apparently, much harder to lie.
	And this is now being used for contracts.
	That is a good use of the technology.
	I'm not sure if it holds up, but it certainly seems that way.
	And here's a little interesting promo from AdBank.
	What's AdBank?
	Let me show you.
	Right now, if you're a digital advertiser, you give your money to a middleman.
	He takes a huge chunk of it and gives the rest to a publisher.
	AdBank is the new platform that gets rid of this guy.
	Go on guys, take it!
	It's yours!
	Grab it!
	Don't be shy!
	How do we do it?
	A peer-to-peer advertising platform built on the blockchain.
	Don't know what the blockchain is?
	Ask your nerdiest friend.
	The blockchain is a decentralized ledger...
	Not now go hang out with horsemen.
	So how does this work without the middleman?
	You know how Uber doesn't own any cars?
	They built a platform that connects people together directly.
	Well, it would be so cliche if I were to say we were the Uber of digital advertising, so I won't say it, but I'll sing it!
	We're the Uber of digital advertising!
	I hate it when people say that.
	So why does that matter?
	Well, we're 100% transparent, open source, and fully auditable.
	Hey, ad bank, do we say how much we charge?
	Yep, it's on the blockchain.
	What about you, middle man?
	I won't tell you.
	Why does transparency matter?
	Fraud.
	Fraud, fraud, fraud.
	56% of all website traffic is bots.
	56%.
	That's over half.
	That means right now, you're paying for pants, but you're getting pants.
	Stop getting pant robbed.
	Alright, I'll stop it here.
	It's just too painful to hear.
	Jeez, this is like that guy who sang Social.
	What is that one song that we used to play a lot?
	Let's get social?
	Let's get social.
	Yeah, it is a bit like that.
	Of course, you make me want to find it and play it.
	Let's get social with social media.
	Everything is something or some gimmick.
	Let's get social.
	Let's get social.
	Let's get social media.
	Mary McCormick!
	Give it up, Mary McCoy!
	I am a proud shitholder.
	Yeah, so that's where advertising...
	So I think the advertising scam is pretty well known now.
	With the advertising community.
	And so it gets stuff like this.
	It's not going to work.
	None of it's going to work.
	I'm not a big fan of telling people how to cheat other people out of intellectual property, but we did just that today.
	There's no way.
	You have no way to monetize the network.
	That is why we have a different way of doing it.
	I'm going to show myself the world by donating to No Agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh, yeah, that'd be fab.
	Yeah, on No Agenda in the morning.
	We do have a few people to thank.
	Uh, Starting with Heather Simpkin, $140.04.
	She's going to be a dame.
	Dame Heather of Love and Light.
	She needs a de-douching.
	I got that for her right here.
	You've been de-douched.
	I will read her note.
	She says, please accept my gratitude for your unwavering dedication to the enlightenment of the world.
	Not surprisingly, or not unsurprisingly, I would love to be known as Dame Heather of Love and Light.
	Nice.
	And wish it all upon you both!
	Thank you.
	Okay, well, she's on the list.
	Beautiful.
	The other one I want to read, because it came in as a card, and it has a birthday attached to it.
	I'm pretty sure the birthday got put on there.
	It's for her dad.
	Now, this card, I believe this is a youngster.
	And I'm not absolutely sure where she's from, but Shania is her name, and the check was from Oroville, but she seems to be in Hawaii.
	It could also be Shana.
	No, I guess not.
	Shania.
	Shania.
	Yeah.
	Shania.
	We'll keep it at Shania.
	And she makes a lot of references.
	I'm going to read her card.
	She was probably born...
	Okay, go ahead and read the card.
	Aloha to everyone that makes the best podcast in the universe possible.
	Mahalo Nui Loi.
	Mahalo Nui Loi.
	It is my birthday.
	It is my birthday this month.
	So when asked what I wanted for a gift, my answer was podcast license and a donation of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
	Happy New Year, everyone.
	The daughter of two moons, Thunder Elk and Licalelani.
	Hello, Licalelani.
	My goal is to sit at the round table.
	A special mahalo, Nia Loe, to Eric for keeping the Value for Value records.
	My second donation.
	And what did I say?
	I have her down.
	I thought it was a birthday for her dad, but it's her birthday.
	Yeah.
	Why don't you check that on the birthday list?
	I will double check right now.
	It just says Shania.
	It doesn't even have a date or anything.
	Oh, okay.
	Shania with no nothing.
	No nothing.
	It's Shania with no nothing.
	Double negative.
	Always good.
	And she's, uh...
	Okay.
	Well, anyway, thank you for the note.
	Very nice part.
	You're just mocking.
	This is racist.
	Yes.
	Hello.
	You're mocking the Hawaiian language.
	That's racist, yeah, I'm sure.
	Everything is racist.
	Heath Novak, $101.01.
	Thomas von Borstel in Osterhaver.
	Osterhaver.
	It says Haver?
	It should be Haver.
	You're right, it's Osterhaver.
	Osterhaver.
	Make Angela Merkel great again.
	She's one of the...
	Yeah, make Angelo Martin.
	You know, we have such an overlap.
	Hello, Deutschland!
	With the Aufwachen podcast.
	Stefan and Thilo over there.
	You guys are almost as striking as them.
	Make Angela Merkel great again.
	Ben Smith in Greenville, Texas, $100.
	K5, SWC, 73s.
	Kilo 5, Alpha Charlie Charlie, 73s.
	Michael Paquette.
	Probably Paquette, but it could be Paquette.
	But it's Paquette, it looks like to me.
	$100 from North Sydney, New South Wales, Australia.
	He's going to be a knight.
	Black Knight Sir Mark Magpayo, $100.
	Should we read his request there, his note, since he's going to be a knight?
	Please give a shout-out to Mike Newman, who I hit in the mouth and becomes a knight today, and to John Robinson, who hit me in the mouth originally.
	Segal Request, Hot Pockets, Creepy William Haig talking about the security and karma for John and Adam.
	We'll play it at the end of the show someday.
	Congratulations on 10 years of success in providing sanity and mental health.
	Okay, we'll play it at the end.
	Sir Black Knight, Sir Mark Magpio, 100.
	Douglas Chick, $99.99.
	We do have a lot of $99.99s, which is the gimmick for this particular event.
	It'll be $100 for the next event.
	And we got a good number of them.
	This is actually the majority donation today.
	So I'm going to read them name and location one after another.
	Sir Austin of Snowy Cascades in Sammamish.
	Douglas Gogoon in Westminster, Massachusetts.
	And he'll be a knight.
	He would be Sir Donald of Nines.
	Sir Donald of Nines.
	Chris Engler, 99.99.
	Matthew Wittering, 99.99.
	John Foley in Chicago, Illinois.
	Sir Chauncey of the Netherworld in New York City.
	Michael Dougherty.
	Sorry, parts unknown.
	Ms.
	Jamie, Lady Trucker of the Highways.
	Jonathan Hess.
	And that concludes it.
	1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.
	I guess it was.
	There was nine, though.
	That's kind of interesting.
	Nine Niner Niners?
	Surviving the media in Sugar Hill, Georgia, 99-91.
	Uh...
	Ron Kilgo.
	Oh, this is actually the donation that was the gimmick was 99.90.
	The other one, those people just ad-libbing the nine cents.
	I see.
	This is the name and location.
	Ron Kilgo in Suwannee, Georgia.
	Suwannee.
	How I love ya.
	How I love ya.
	Heiko Santima.
	Santima.
	Kilko Santima von Houghton.
	Houghton.
	Gina Brown in Providence Village, Texas.
	Gavin Baud, parts unknown.
	Sir Charles Walters in Schaumburg, Illinois.
	Stefan A. Rett in Feldbach, Deutschland.
	Sir Alexander Beatty, parts unknown.
	James Chapko, who's going to be a knight in Crown Point, Indiana.
	He's going to be Sir James Knight of Dar eschia.
	Did you read Sir Alexander Beatty's note?
	No, I didn't.
	ITM from Sir Alexander Beatty, helper of man from afar.
	I've been listening to old shows on the days of their anniversaries, which I like to call anachronosynchronously...
	Anachron...
	Oh, no.
	Anacronosynchronously.
	Synchronously.
	Anacrosynchronously.
	There we go.
	Anacrosynchronously.
	Which is a shithole hashtag.
	But it's a term he coined for listening to old podcasts in sync with the present.
	Because of this practice, I've found several peculiar events in No Agenda's history which seem to repeat themselves or at least have repercussions on or around the anniversary of those episodes.
	Ooh.
	Confused?
	Read the book.
	For example, I was right about that, by the way.
	I'm sure you saw the video of the Time Life book.
	People were tweeting it all over the place.
	Anyway, for example, on an episode just after the 2016 presidential election, Curry, that's me, told us the exciting news that General Mike Flynn wanted a screener of Mark Hall's documentary about Fethullah Gulen killing Ed.
	Then almost exactly a year later in 2017, we learn that Flynn was being charged with conspiracy to kidnap Gulen.
	Curry was right.
	This show does have major influence.
	And by the way, I'm embarrassed.
	And I'm embarrassed because I set that up.
	You know, I set up the...
	And you forgot all about it.
	Like, we can't remember one thing from one week to the next.
	What day is it?
	You think I'm rereading these things from last week.
	You know, I got to up the B12. I'm slacking on my B12. You might want to get some Bacopa.
	Bacopa?
	Yeah, Bacopa.
	Bacopa.
	Bacopa Banna.
	James Chapko.
	James Chapko.
	You know James Chapko?
	He's in Crown Point, Indiana.
	Yes, I'm familiar.
	Stephen Hightower.
	James will be a knight today.
	He will be Sir James Knight of Da Region.
	Stephen Hightower, $99.90.
	David Fugizotto, $99.90.
	Sir Dirtbag Dave is back from Concord, California.
	$99.90.
	These are all $99.90.
	This is a good group.
	Mark Johnson, parts unknown.
	Stephen or Stephen Schwartz in Bern, Texas.
	Or Bernie.
	Very good, Bernie.
	Very good.
	Bernie, Texas.
	John Cruz in east of Guanahatchee.
	Washington.
	Tim Dwarianen.
	Boy, this is a beauty.
	Dwarianen.
	D-W-O-R-I-A-N. You know how he introduces himself?
	Hi, I'm Tim.
	Gordon Walton.
	Sir Victor of Alabama in Decatur.
	Chris Wilding in Johannesburg, South Africa, I guess.
	Greetings, he says, from shithole Africa.
	I'd like to call out Dr.
	Mike Marinas as a douchebag.
	I hit him in the mouth some months back and we talk about no agenda each time he adjusts my neck.
	He's a chiropractor, but he never donates, nor did I, until today.
	Well, thank you very much.
	The chiropractors make the big bucks.
	They do.
	Anonymous, Sir J and also Sir Chris James in Sturgis, Michigan.
	Bradley, Deborah, Deborah Bradley, 99.90.
	She has kind of a story here to tell.
	Thanks for 999 shows my husband hit me in the mouth about five years ago.
	It was a bonus when he said that my crush from MTV days was a host.
	Oh!
	We have been month donors for about four years.
	Best thing money can buy!
	All caps, exclamation mark, times five.
	I had to spend two weeks with my father after he had a quadruple bypass surgery.
	He is a big M5M news watcher.
	I felt my brain melting and my amygdala growing from all the fake news and the microaggression comments.
	So this is money well spent to make my brain and amygdala normal again.
	Make your amygdala normal again.
	Thank you for all the work you do, making it so that we do not have to be afraid to walk out of the door anymore.
	James and Deborah Bradley, thank you both.
	Richard Rann, 990.
	Pretty much the same note.
	Diana Carruthers, 990 in Tumwater, Washington.
	And that concludes our group of well-wishers for that little...
	Thank you very much for your courage.
	999 in various ways.
	Now we have one kind of sideways tit.
	8006.
	Which is really the most normal type of boob donation you can receive.
	If you look across the board, most women are 8006s.
	Yeah.
	John Hawley, Blaine, Minnesota, he's got the 8006 going on.
	Eric Sleer, 6969.
	John Fitzpatrick in Herber Springs, Arkansas, 5999.
	Christopher Dechter, 5678.
	Brandy Kovach, 5555.
	She needs a de-douching.
	You've been de-douched.
	My 12-year-old son heard me listening to your show and asked me if I was still a douchebag.
	Sadly, I had to tell him yes.
	Please give his mama a de-doucheing.
	He just got it, Brandy.
	So he can be proud again.
	And a goat scream shout-out to my son, Jace, for keeping me honest.
	Way to go, Jace.
	A fine young American.
	Good work, Jace.
	Yeah, good work.
	Hey, Mommy, are you a douchebag?
	See, only in a No Agenda family household can you get away with that.
	Rick LaBanca in Hope, Rhode Island, 5432.
	Tricia LaCour in Bangor, Pennsylvania, 5353.
	I'm sorry, we do need to look at Rick because he's in blue.
	I surprised myself when finally adding my sporadic donations, finding it was close to the mark.
	This donation walks me over the line.
	No Agenda answers the question, is it just me or is it bullshit?
	Which is the source of your sanity recovery magic.
	You won't read the book.
	You both have superior depth of analysis, well beyond the M5M, and they have research staff.
	To be honest, we have tens of thousands of producers.
	Can I get a jingle?
	It has to be 999-Rosignette or Dealer's Choice.
	It might be known as Sir Slartibar...
	What?
	Sir Slartibartfast.
	Sir Slartibartfast.
	There we go.
	Sir Slarty Bartfast, keeper of crinkly bits.
	Oh, could the table provide goat...
	It says chops.
	Goat chops and goat milk.
	Goat chops.
	Yeah, I think so.
	Delicious.
	Goat chops and goat milk.
	I recommend if you would try goat milk.
	You recommend what?
	Goat meat.
	Goat meat?
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	Oh.
	Huh.
	Here's the thing about goat meat, which is the most eaten meat in the world, but, you know, they don't like it here because it's associated with minorities and it's got all kinds of bad vibes.
	Really?
	Goats are racist?
	Yeah.
	That's what I said.
	I didn't realize that.
	So goat meat is, what you want to get is you got to, you can get, I would, here's what I'd recommend as starters.
	I'd get a goat leg, like a leg of lamb on his goat, and have it trimmed so there's no fur on it.
	Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop.
	Why take away the best part?
	You should skin the fur off at home.
	It's fun.
	No.
	And so you want it trimmed and you want it deboned and then tied.
	And then you can barbecue it, I would recommend.
	Slow cook it for about two hours, two and a half hours maybe at the most.
	At the smoked, not just over the grill.
	Smoked.
	Racist.
	Racist.
	It is absolutely, people always think it's like goat, goat.
	Goat is like the mildest, tastiest version of lamb you can imagine.
	It has no mutton qualities whatsoever.
	It's very mild.
	It goes into stews and all kinds of things.
	You can do a lot with it.
	It's a great product, and it's underappreciated.
	I buy my goat at the halal Muslim market.
	They're the only places that sell it.
	And do you get a discount if you mention Obama?
	I don't think so.
	You'd think you would, but I don't think they do that.
	This is a very interesting tip.
	I thought I talked about goat on the show.
	No, no, I would have remembered.
	Oh, yeah.
	Goat.
	You'll love it.
	Try goat.
	I'm telling you, try goat.
	So can I just use any recipe that would call for lamb and use goat instead?
	Yeah.
	I made a goat cheese pasta the other day, which worked out really well.
	Goat cheese is delicious, but it doesn't taste like goat.
	I mean, it's goaty.
	The milk is where you get that goat taste.
	You don't get it in the meat.
	Unless you leave the hair and burn the hair and singe it, that probably stinks.
	I'm a little disturbed that a protective class is being skinned and eaten.
	Our emotional support goats are very upset by this trend you're trying to spark.
	Trying to spark a trend is a worldwide phenomenon.
	People eat more goat meat than they do anything else.
	Except here, because it's racist somehow.
	Yeah.
	Could you look into that and fill us in on the next show?
	About the racism in goat meat?
	Yeah.
	I mean, if I go to Whole Foods and I say...
	Isn't my word good enough?
	If I go to...
	Yeah, but it might make it entertaining for the show.
	And I'm interested.
	I'm really interested.
	I didn't realize that.
	Why Americans don't eat goat?
	It's true.
	Do you remember Tony the terrorist who used to drive me around in San Francisco?
	Yeah.
	And he would pick me up at the airport when I was living in L.A. And one time he picked me up and he said, Oh, Mr.
	Adam, Mr.
	Adam, I can't put your suitcases in the trunk.
	I said, why not?
	Ah, well, you know, we have our big festival coming, and I have goat in the back.
	And he had a dead goat in the back.
	But, you know, I just picked it up because you want your goat to be fresh.
	You want fresh goat.
	So, yeah, you're probably right.
	Most of the world's population eats goat.
	And here, we use them as a teddy bear.
	It's amazing.
	Now, here's one I want the listeners to have to help me on this one because I haven't gotten anywhere with this.
	I'm just wondering what it tastes like.
	But what is the most eaten grain in the world?
	I mean, but I think, okay, rice is right at the top, wheat's up there, but there's a third grain that is competitive with wheat and rice.
	Sorghum.
	Yes, of course, because we talked about sorghum before.
	You go to Whole Foods, they got all this crazy stuff, they got all kinds of obscure grates, you know, things, starches.
	You can't find sorghum anywhere.
	Is it also racist?
	I think so.
	Most sorghum is eaten in Africa.
	Well, there you go.
	Shithole sorghum.
	Yeah.
	It's a shithole grain.
	I'd like to know what it tastes like.
	I want to get some.
	Okay.
	When did we see sorghum?
	The last time we saw Sorghum was somebody sent me the bag, an empty bag of Sorghum so I could take a photo of it.
	It was Bang Bang and...
	Game Bang Bang.
	Yes, you're right.
	Inner boy.
	Inner boy.
	Racist again!
	Anyways, onward.
	Did you say anyways?
	I said anyways.
	Jeez.
	Tricia LaCour in Bangor, Pennsylvania, 5353.
	I did Rick LeBanc.
	Yeah, you read his note.
	Diane Daniel, 5033.
	Now, the following people are all $50 donors, name and location as applicable.
	Starting with Trevor Hoagland in Portland, Oregon.
	Derek Boggs, Parts Unknown.
	Dame Patricia Worthington, who coughs up $50 every month from Miami.
	We appreciate that.
	Drendon Savoy in Port Orchard, Washington.
	He should be at night by now.
	John Haller in Missoula, Montana.
	And that's it.
	But we don't have one, two, three, four, five.
	Well, they came up short on that one.
	But everyone made up for it with the 99s and the like.
	Ah, fantastic.
	We want to thank these folks for producing the show.
	And I love that when we have a good showing with the producers, with their financial support, that we're really all collectively happy for us, for them, for the show.
	You know, unlike if, you know, you bring in the big advertiser, everyone's sucking off the advertiser, and they forget about the programming.
	You know, and we're constantly reminded that this is by the producers, for the producers.
	We are just your conduits.
	Yes, and when you made a good point earlier, which is, gee, the networks have got these big staffs of, you know, paid.
	We've got a bigger staff in reality.
	And if we make a mistake, there's at least 10 people to tell us.
	I mean, anyone who works in the M5M, and I'm sure we have a number of them in the production audience, Just go in and say, hey, I want five jingles produced for...
	Just give them a week.
	Even if you give them two weeks.
	I'd like five jingles.
	I want jingles that are funny about shithole.
	I want jingles that are funny about Bitcoin.
	I want jingles that are funny about...
	Bing it.
	Bing it.
	Yeah, all of this stuff.
	Yeah, get nothing.
	No, one.
	Maybe you'd get one and it would cost, you know, $50,000.
	You have residuals.
	It would cost 50 grand, yes.
	You got residuals.
	You have, you know, ASCAP BMI fees.
	You got licensing issues.
	All of this shit.
	It's a nightmare.
	Yeah.
	So, now, will we get rich?
	No, we're not.
	We're never going to be.
	The system, it's crazy, interestingly enough, that a purely capitalistic group like us, because we are.
	Straight up.
	Straight up.
	Straight up caps, baby.
	Wind up actually creating a very socialized type of system.
	Yes, very social.
	And I'm sure that you...
	Let's get social, social media.
	Let's get social.
	Social media.
	I'm sure that you also donate to some websites that you get information from.
	Everybody does.
	Yeah.
	You know, and that's the system.
	And the system is working.
	Not everybody can be in the system.
	No, actually, everybody can be in the system.
	And everybody can make what is necessary for them to create it.
	It's a great system!
	But it is interesting that it's very socialized.
	I won't say socialist.
	It's socialized.
	Yeah.
	Well, it evolved into this.
	We've actually...
	We had a good basis...
	For all this.
	And then it kind of took...
	It's like when you're writing a novel.
	Sometimes it just takes the...
	It takes a crazy turn.
	It'll take a life of its own.
	And that's what this show did when people started sending us jingles.
	I mean, the artwork kind of was pushed by two guys mainly.
	And Paul Couture and...
	What's the other one?
	I'm gonna eat it for...
	He doesn't listen anymore.
	Man overboard.
	And...
	We put up the websites and did this other stuff, and the next thing you know, it was doing tremendous work.
	And then the jingles are outrageous.
	Yeah, all of it.
	All of it.
	And so, really, congratulations to all of you for 999 episodes.
	You've been the show.
	And I feel, I have to say, hashtag blessed over here.
	That's how I feel.
	How do you feel, John?
	Hashtag blessed?
	Hashtag blessed.
	Fist bump.
	Fist bump.
	Really appreciate the support.
	And also thank you to our executive and associate executive producers.
	Who get a triple credit on show 1000.
	That will be the show coming up on Thursday.
	It's a big day.
	We're really proud of the work we've all done together.
	And we look forward to meeting you again for that one.
	Please go to...
	Let's hand out the karmas that are needed.
	Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs.
	Let's vote for jobs!
	You've got...
	Harm not.
	And here we go with our list for today.
	We start off with Sir Andrew Gardner, whose very first daughter, Michaelina Gardner, was born on Friday.
	Just a nice little tidbit.
	She weighed 3,330 grams at birth.
	Close enough to the magic number for me.
	Congratulations and welcome, Michaelina Gardner, to Gitmo Nation.
	Sir Chris Engler says happy birthday to his father, Fritz Engler.
	He turns 73.
	Derek Boggs will be celebrating on the 14th.
	Is that today?
	Boom!
	Yes, it is.
	Happy birthday.
	We have Tricia LaCour saying happy birthday to her husband, Steve LaCour, who turns 53.
	Diana Carruthers says happy birthday to Keith Charlie.
	He celebrates on the 16th.
	And finally today, we say happy birthday to Shania.
	And that is from your buddies here at The Best Podcast in the Universe.
	Happy birthday!
	Okay, as you might expect, we have some titles and we have some knights.
	So let me just get everything organized here.
	I got my sword ready for a change.
	Hold on a second.
	I'm not ready now.
	Just got to separate the knights from the titles.
	There we go.
	Where's your sword?
	It's right here.
	Sounds a little bit weak.
	That's mine.
	Pull yours out again.
	I had to put it back.
	Pull it out again.
	You ready?
	Pull it out.
	Yeah, here it comes.
	Okay, kind of good.
	All right, here we go.
	It's quite the list.
	We need on the stage here, on the podium, Thaddeus Parker, Thomas Newman, Heather Simkin, Michael Pocket, Donald Gaugan, Israel Cazares, Michael Halbey's dad.
	Come on, Dad.
	Come on up here.
	Jerry Zack, Nancy Misco.
	John Jolly, Squire Stickton, and Rick LaBanca, and James Chapko.
	Everybody stand up here because you are all about to be inducted to the Noah Jenner Roundtable for the Knights and the Dames.
	This is where you receive your ring, where you are here to protect Gitmo Nation.
	And I hereby proudly pronounce the KP, Sir Gatekeeper, Sir Michael of Third World Southeast Asia, Dame Heather of Love, Sir Hot Pocket of Gitmo Nation Down Under, Sir Donalds of Nine, Sir Knight of the Blindstick and User of Service Goats, Sir Michael Halby's Dad, Sir Michael Halby's Dad, yes, care of Michael Halby.
	Sir Wasteless Lost Baronet of Timber Hill, Dame Nancy of New Jersey, Sir Surprise Surprise, Sir Stickton of the West Side Villages, Sir Slarty Bartfast, and Sir James Knight of the Region.
	For you, we have the following, as always, and we love bringing you the Rent Boys and Chardonnay, the Hookers and Blow, the Goat Chops and Goat Milk, Polish Potato Vodka, wow, I can barely...
	I can barely get through this.
	Dive soda and video games.
	Fish pie and fellatio.
	Nice.
	Harlots and Haldol.
	Brown cheese, aquavit and smalajova.
	Redheads and ryes.
	Organic marconi and plasticizers.
	Beer and blunts.
	Brazilian hotties and cachacha.
	Cowgirls and coffin varnish.
	We've got malt vinegar and manual transmissions.
	Nicaraguan cigars rolled in Panama papers.
	Sake and sushi with wasabi and soy sauce on the side.
	Strong black coffee and chocolate chip cookies.
	Labia and lasagna.
	Whiskey and bacon.
	Sappho and spice.
	Sake and skanks.
	Fry breads and fembots.
	Root beer and pepperoni pizza.
	And of course, ginger ale and gerbils.
	And mutton and mead. .
	Which tastes nothing like goat.
	Please head over to NoEdgeInTheNation.com slash rings.
	Pick up your special ring.
	And thank you very much for producing episode niner, niner, niner of the best podcast in the universe.
	Come gather round, douchebag, producer, and slave.
	As we all thank your brothers and sisters who gave.
	And some of them nights, some of them days For the titles are a-changin' And our Black Knight of the Okanogan Plains, Sir Roag, becomes Black Knight and Baron of the Palouse.
	And Sir Isaac of Altadena becomes the Baron of Altadena, conspire.
	Congratulations to both of you for your peerage upgrade, and also thank you for supporting the show.
	Next show, show 1000, 1K, baby.
	That will be on Thursday, and we appreciate your support at dvorak.org.
	Yep.
	Yep.
	Okay.
	Oh!
	There's a war!
	There's a war!
	The war on Tamiflu!
	There is a war!
	Oh, well, I'd like to hear about this war.
	I do have an update.
	I want to just...
	I want to play my flu update.
	It's very short.
	Of the 49 states where the flu is widespread, these 36 are the hardest hit.
	California has had 42 adult deaths, up from 9 last year.
	Kentucky, 36 deaths, up from 4.
	And Oklahoma, more than 4 times as many.
	Now, I do want...
	Wait.
	I just want to say...
	Hey everybody, have a good time at CES. Have a great time.
	If you haven't had the flu yet, you'll have it.
	Everyone's coming back with the flu, which means all of Silicon Valley will be down.
	Yeah.
	They'll be down.
	That's what I'm thinking.
	We got a dude named Ben Down.
	I mean, if you're not going to catch the flu at CES, I mean, it's a crowd.
	This is the worst flu season.
	Luckily, everybody in our family had it.
	We all had Tamiflu ready to go, and it kept us from having any real problems.
	Maybe get the sickest problem.
	Now, we know that The pharmaceutical companies really want you to get your flu shot.
	The government wants you to get your flu shot.
	Because what?
	Money in the bank.
	Oh, yes.
	Well, we can't have that.
	Like so many others, it was a flu diagnosis that came with a choice, whether or not to take Tamiflu.
	But an Allen family, who wants to remain anonymous, says the side effects on their six-year-old were stunning.
	Hallucinations, running away from school, and an attempt, they believe, to hurt herself.
	The second story window was opened, which was in her bedroom, and she used her desk to climb up onto it.
	And then she was about to jump out the window when my wife came up and grabbed her.
	They took her to the hospital where a doctor informed them that nervous system problems, including psychosis, can be a very rare side effect of Tamiflu.
	Emergency room physician Dr.
	Glenn Hardesty.
	It can happen.
	Less than 1% is what's listed in the data sheet.
	I've been in practice 20 years and I haven't seen that particular complication.
	It is written in the fine print and Dr.
	Hardesty says there's always a chance of a side effect with any drug.
	The little girl's parents say they wish they had known.
	I don't think the 16 hours of symptom relief from the flu is worth the possible side effects that we went through.
	His message for parents?
	Do your homework before taking Tamiflu.
	No, that side effects are there for a reason.
	They're written down for a reason.
	I guess they can happen.
	And we got the short end of the stick.
	I don't know much.
	I don't know much about nothing.
	But I know that not a lot of television news reporters will take on an anti-pharmaceutical story unless there's a bigger pharmaceutical behind the story.
	Hold on a second before you, and I want to hear this, but I do want to, something came up in that.
	I realize that this has been going on for a while.
	Well, you're taking away my thunder!
	No, no, no, you're taking away my thunder.
	When I say you're taking away my thunder, thunder has been taken away.
	This is the BBC. This is BBC News, the headlines at 3 o'clock.
	Doctors urge a rethink on giving tummy flu to children, as new research says it can do more harm than good.
	You'd need to treat 13 children to prevent one getting influenza, so a fairly small effect on preventing transmission.
	No.
	It's worldwide, baby.
	The thunder was, that clip is from 2009.
	Because, yes, this is happening every year.
	They come out with these bogative stories.
	That wasn't quite my point, but I just realized in that first clip they said something.
	I said, oh my God, they've been saying this a lot and it's not true.
	Okay.
	The guy in the first clip says, it's not worth taking a chance for 16 hours of...
	Yes, that's what he said.
	Yes, 16 hours of relief of the symptoms.
	That is such bull crap.
	Because that was in the script.
	This is pharma versus pharma.
	Come on.
	I've taken Tamiflu probably.
	I've taken it and his co-partner, Relenza.
	Probably, I don't know, 10 more.
	I've taken it for decades as a flu.
	I do want to point out that you're ending your life as a podcaster, so I wouldn't say it's a miracle drug.
	Well, I'm not calling it a miracle drug, but what it does is technically what these drugs do is they keep the flu virus from reproducing during the period of time you're taking the drugs.
	And so whatever effect, whatever flu level you're at, that's why you always want to keep some on hand, freezes.
	Like if you've got a little cough or something, so this is the flu, I can tell.
	And you start taking it right there, that's as far as the flu is going to progress for the five days that you take the Tamiflu.
	If you let it get further and you're coughing and hacking and you have a fever, that's where it freezes.
	They figure that after two days, You're too far gone.
	It's not going to do you any good.
	But if you catch it in the first 48 hours, you can freeze it in place.
	During that time period, I've talked to doctors about this and they don't argue this explanation.
	After the five days, your body has worked up a bunch of an immune response because this thing is lingering there, not reproducing but still in your system for the five days.
	You stop taking it.
	Flu spikes a little bit, but your immune system's all ready for it, and it knocks it out, and you're done.
	Right.
	And so you never really have the flu that knocked down, dragged out flu.
	This is not 16 hours.
	Tamiflu side effects.
	First of all, get emergency medical help if you have any of these signs of an allergic reaction to Tamiflu.
	Chest pain or tightness, difficulty breathing, fever, sore throat, swelling in your face or tongue, burning in your eyes, or hive skin pain, followed by a red or purple skin rash that spreads, especially in the face or upper body and causes blistering and peeling.
	Some people using Tamiflu have had rare side effects of sudden confusion, shaking, problems with speech, hallucinations, hearing or seeing things that are not there, seizures.
	These symptoms have occurred most often in children, but it is not known whether Tamiflu was the exact cause.
	Hmm.
	Interesting.
	There you have it.
	But I'm pretty sure that this is something that the flu shot guys encourage.
	Yes, they don't want people taking Tamiflu.
	Oh, no.
	And I don't see that why...
	Get the shot.
	It doesn't work.
	This is your shot, by the way.
	It doesn't work, but get it anyway.
	Yeah, exactly.
	By the way, I should mention something that they don't do, which I think they should do.
	If I was marketing the flu shot against Tamiflu, I'd point out the fact that Tamiflu's like $100.
	Flu shot's $10.
	Ooh.
	Well, maybe that'll start now.
	Well.
	Well, I'm keeping my eye on it.
	I feel there's a war on Tamiflu.
	I think you're probably right, and I don't blame them, because this is a cash flow business.
	It is.
	You mentioned CES. I do have a clip, and I have something to say about this.
	CES 2018 will go down as the year of...
	Oh, and I want to warn everybody, this clip definitely triggers your device, your Amazon device.
	It's controlled everything.
	Alexa, Google Voice, Siri, everywhere you turn, there's some version of some new virtual voice assistant coming soon to a gadget near you.
	And some of it, it makes a ton of sense.
	I mean, Amazon's Echo, Google Home, they've been such big hits.
	Of course, we're seeing it come to every shape and size of smart home speaker and screen.
	Now it's showing up in new TVs, earbuds, cars make sense because it's hands-free.
	And robots?
	Because, well, I mean, it's natural to talk to them, right?
	But are we really ready to talk to our toilet?
	Alexa, flush my toilet.
	In this race for the crown jewel of smart home control, Kohler's latest high-end Noomi toilet might just take the throne.
	You can ask it to heat up the seat, lift the lid, play your favorite tunes, and of course, flush.
	Okay, get it all out.
	Potty humor, butt of all jokes.
	Go ahead, you know you want to.
	Then, just think about how great it's finally going to be to end that age-old argument between men and women everywhere to please put the toilet seat down.
	See that?
	Isn't that magical?
	Amazing.
	Watch.
	One more time.
	One more time.
	It goes up, right?
	And then it goes down.
	Comprende?
	And hands-free, I mean, seriously, talk about a germaphobe's dream come true.
	So as much as I really want to mock it, I would buy it in a heartbeat if I won the lottery.
	I mean, it's going to be about $6,500.
	Yeah, that's the level of reporting we get from CES. Um...
	I'm not really a big fan of all these connected devices, you know, the connected home.
	It's very dumb.
	Very dumb.
	I'll give you an example of the lights.
	So I have the Philips Hue lights, which I like, you know, with the app and you can kind of set scenes in the house, and that's nice.
	And then you can connect your Amazon talking tube to it.
	But here's the incredible smart AI and machine learning.
	Sometimes it thinks when I say, you know, what's her face?
	Turn the lights on.
	She thinks I'm saying, turn them off.
	And then she says, okay.
	And nothing happens.
	Because it's so smart with all the AI stuff.
	That she doesn't even know how to check to see if they're on or not.
	I mean, it's not a smart system and you lose your internet and then you can't turn your lights on.
	It's dumb.
	It's dumb.
	Here's another thing that kind of bothers me.
	I've seen these ads where the guy's got one of these devices and he says, turn my lights on and the lights come on.
	Mm-hmm.
	Do you think anybody goes and buys one of these things and just puts it in the house and says, turn my lights on without setting up the house with these smart lights?
	And just says, turn my lights on and expect them to go on?
	Oh, no.
	I do.
	You got to turn on the app and then you got to go press the button on the hub.
	I think there are people out there that buy this thing thinking they can put it in their kitchen and ask them to turn the lights on and off and change channels on the TV. Yeah, magic.
	And flush your toilet.
	Yeah, flush my toilet.
	It's not flushing.
	I don't want this thing to defective.
	It's not flushing my toilet.
	So that was a very gender-biased joke that they put in there about the toilet seat.
	And I have something to say about that.
	Having grown up with women, my sisters, my mom, women around me the whole time.
	And lots of gay guys.
	So they also sit down to pee.
	A lot of them.
	Not kidding.
	The toilet, everyone...
	So instead of toilet seat up or down, there's a lid on the toilet.
	And the lid is there for a reason.
	One, so when you walk in the bathroom, you don't look down the gaping shithole.
	I mean, that's literally a shithole.
	You close the lid.
	It's nice.
	It's much nicer.
	And you could just sit on it.
	It's inviting.
	If you're hanging out there.
	Yeah, you could sit on the lid.
	And men and women, both...
	Close the lid.
	There's no age-old argument.
	And women do not have any standing to win this argument.
	Everybody closes the lid.
	Also, you close the lid before you flush.
	Gee, I wonder why.
	I don't understand.
	Like, oh, I'll flush it with the lid off so all the feces and shithole stuff comes up and just spreads throughout your whole bathroom.
	It's disgusting.
	And this is an argument that a lot of our producers have with their partners and spouses.
	I think you made your point, but I have to extend your point.
	And this is one of the no agenda tips.
	We've had numerous tips today, including how to read the New York Times on the private browser.
	When you're on an airplane, never flush that thing without the lid closed.
	Oh!
	No kidding.
	Because it's an explosive flush mechanism that will splash all over the place if you're not careful.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	But also never flush it when you're sitting on it, guys.
	You could have a very unfortunate accident.
	The suction is tremendous.
	And it could suck you out.
	You wind up one of those blue balls of ice on someone's roof.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	All right.
	I wanted to point out, I think that we're seeing a...
	What's the word I'm looking for?
	A backlash against the social networks.
	I think now you heard President Obama speaking about the algos popping out of your screen and ripping your face off, especially if you're watching Fox News or FoxNews.com.
	He was very specific about that.
	I think there's a backlash in progress, and it's seeping into popular culture, and it's going to become a problem for the face bags and the Twitters.
	Where did all this come from?
	I read it on Facebook.
	Five things you should give up for a happier life.
	Was number one Facebook?
	That's the TV show Mom.
	There's a lot of examples of this, and it's happening more and more.
	And Facebook, I think, made a big mistake.
	I don't know if there's a strategy behind it, but they came out and said, ah, we're going to make sure that there's more stuff from your friends and your family and your feed.
	And the stock dropped, it was like $15?
	Like, you know, like a good 5% or 6%.
	I didn't follow this.
	Yeah, because, yeah, that means the advertiser is like, what?
	What?
	There's such a scam operation.
	If you buy video ads, they give you statistics.
	And do you know what they consider a view?
	How many seconds of video viewed is a view?
	Five seconds.
	Three.
	Wow.
	Three seconds.
	One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi.
	That's not a view.
	And these are autoplays.
	Yeah, it's a total scam.
	But there's a backlash, and it's coming, and it's swelling, and I can feel it, and it's good.
	Yeah, I'm not seeing it personally.
	I don't think it's going to happen.
	Okay.
	I've been around.
	Got a couple of offbeat items.
	Another SFO mishap.
	Oh, what was this?
	It's been going on a lot.
	Oh, let's see.
	A close call yet again at San Francisco Airport.
	An Aeromexico passenger plane forced to abort its landing, nearly coming down on the wrong runway with another plane right there in the path.
	Controllers ordering the plane to go around.
	No, I didn't hear this.
	They started off another.
	The SFO has these constantly.
	I have a clip related to this that made me pause for a moment about some of these big disasters we've had at airports, you know, power outages and bad things happening.
	You know that I've been tracking the NextGen system, which is...
	Yes, you have.
	Which I'm not a fan of, and the whole idea is...
	Well, the ultimate plan is to get pilots out of the cockpit, which I think is ludicrous.
	Your theory is that everything is about pilotless planes.
	Yeah, because humans can't be trusted.
	Humans cannot be trusted.
	Humans cannot be trusted, so they need to go.
	And the next-gen system works with ADS-B, which you can already follow.
	That's how a lot of these apps work with tracking these planes.
	So there's a partial ground radar-based system and then transmitting GPS coordinates to ground stations as well as to satellites.
	And separation will be handled by the system, whatever the system is.
	You know, how we'll be making sure that there's sufficient spacing and everything works according to plan.
	But there's a little more behind these, well, to the story, and I think they're related.
	If you have not noticed, chaos at America's airports has made headlines.
	Recently, last weekend, we reported about one air air traffic controller...
	What he called a, quote, horror show at JFK Airport here in New York City.
	Dozens and dozens of planes sat on the tarmac for hours, filled with passengers.
	Thousands of bags were delayed or never made it to their destinations.
	People slept at the airport for a couple days, and then a water main broke, flooding the international terminal.
	So weeks before that, the world's busiest airport, Hartsfield in Atlanta, lost power, canceling more than 1,150 flights.
	The recent airport fiascos underscore the infrastructure concerns at our nation's airports.
	So the American Society of Civil Engineers recently gave our nation's airports a D-grade.
	Airport congestion is on the rise, creating a drag on the economy.
	And ASCE says it's expected that 24 of the top 30 Thirty major airports in this country may soon experience Thanksgiving peak traffic volume at least one day every week.
	And if you look at this graphic, you know, last month, the nation's airports released a report saying they require $100 billion in infrastructure needs between now and 2021 because of this congestion.
	That price tag has gone up 32 percent in just two years.
	airports want Congress to eliminate caps on passenger facility charges they want the FAA to allow them to charge more than the max four dollars and fifty cents per passenger so that they can invest that money in infrastructure There are efforts to modernize our air traffic control systems.
	The president wants to privatize air traffic, stripping the responsibility from the Federal Aviation Administration and giving that responsibility to an independent, non-governmental, non-profit organization.
	The administration believes this will speed up modernizing our air traffic control systems nationwide.
	And the FAA is currently handling the so-called NextGen program, which is updating our 1950s-era radar systems to satellite radar technology, which would be... Satellite radar technology.
	Oh, really?
	No.
	Satellite radar.
	Yeah, these satellites got radar on it.
	Yeah, that works.
	Handling the so-called next-gen program, which is updating our 1950s-era radar systems to satellite radar technology, which would lead to less delays and more efficient performance.
	And they hope to be done by 2025.
	And, you know, currently, Mike, there's a 48-member bipartisan congressional group called the Problem Solvers Caucus.
	They met on Tuesday.
	They're trying to draft a trillion-dollar Infrastructure, Bill.
	We'll see what happens.
	Yeah, what's going to happen is your ticket price is going to go up.
	Nothing will change in the infrastructure.
	That's exactly what's going to happen.
	And you've got to wonder if they're like, power went out.
	What's this plug?
	Don't plug it in for a bit.
	Let's see if we can raise the fees on the stupid slaves.
	That's kind of how you do it.
	Kind of.
	I have one serious clip left, and then if you have something fun to leave us on a high note, unlike the last show.
	It's so depressing.
	This is about the Vegas Massacre, which is the largest mass killing event in U.S. history, the least known about event in U.S. history.
	And I hand it to the local Vegas M5M peeps, They are really pressuring everyone there.
	There's all kinds of documents that are sealed.
	A request for a warrant from a special agent from the FBI was unsealed or leaked or I don't know how it got out.
	But we now know some interesting details about Steven Paddock and his girlfriend and emails they were sending back and forth.
	October 13th, Sheriff Joe Lombardo holds his last press conference about the Las Vegas massacre.
	At the same time, the police department he leads goes silent on the investigation.
	Metro has, for weeks now, refused to release public records.
	It's that silence that led to the media lawsuit to unseal public records.
	Tonight, Metro is talking, but through their law firm.
	No question, sir.
	Police are opposing the release of 14 search warrants served in the hours and days after the Route 91 attack.
	And here's why.
	Quote, despite the death of Steven Paddock, there remains an active criminal investigation.
	That's from Metro's private attorney, Jackie Nichols, who opposes public disclosure.
	Has the official timeline changed?
	Please stop asking your question.
	Media attorneys have argued that without an ongoing search for suspects or a pending criminal trial, that the public has a right to know how police worked to protect them.
	Metro disagrees.
	Quote, But why?
	In their filing, Metro says, quote, access would reveal investigative techniques used by law enforcement.
	We do know that detectives obtained this search warrant in an effort to seize a Gmail account with a subscriber name of Steven Paddock.
	In it, police wanted all Internet search history for one of Paddock's phones from between September 1st and October 3rd, three days after Paddock's death.
	And on the importance of privacy, this, that it's another factor weighing against public access to warrant materials during the pre-indictment stage of an investigation.
	The pre-indictment stage, the need for continued secrecy, all because of the possibility of an indictment.
	That is new information tonight, and it suggests maybe a possible accomplice to Stephen Paddock, who we're told committed suicide.
	Maybe we'll get some answers.
	The media hearing to unseal the search warrants is next Tuesday before Judge Alyssa Kadish will be covering it.
	And I have a copy of the search warrant.
	This is quite interesting.
	Yeah, I'm trying to open this.
	For some reason, it's...
	Why are you mutinying against me?
	Let me see.
	Let me see.
	Hmm.
	Okay.
	Well, I have to paraphrase it.
	So there were two email accounts, very similar in nature.
	It was like, you know, WorldTraveler1 and WorldTraveler4008, both at live.com.
	Yeah.
	Who uses live.com?
	Should have done Hotmail.
	It would have been even funnier.
	Or AOL.com.
	And it was like, hey, I got tons of great stuff.
	You should try out an AR with a bump stock.
	We have a big stash in Vegas.
	You can come take a look.
	This is going back and forth between two email accounts that he apparently owned.
	And then his girlfriend said, oh yeah, if you're looking at the forensics, this is the one the FBI said, don't worry about it, stay in there.
	Where was she?
	Singapore, Thailand, wherever she was.
	Yeah, don't worry about it.
	And now we hear that she said, well, if you're doing forensics on the bullet casings, yeah, you may find my fingerprints because I helped him load a lot of magazines.
	But she wasn't involved.
	Not interesting as a witness.
	This is bull crap.
	What's your latest thesis?
	Well, the thesis is only strengthened that he was dealing weapons and it was an arms deal gone bad.
	If this evidence is true and correct, I don't know that.
	But according to the evidence we have now from the...
	It's the only thing that makes any logical sense.
	Yeah.
	And it really points to the gun running again.
	You know, that there was knowledge.
	And I don't understand how they could do what...
	They had numerous drills in the two weeks before this happened for a mass shooting event.
	Well, these drills suck.
	I mean, you do the drill and then the real thing happens and you don't show up for an hour?
	Where was the SWAT team?
	Where was the elite SWAT team that everyone keeps talking about that trained so hard to do this?
	There's a whole book in this.
	Hmm.
	Right after the Vinegar book, we should do it.
	Okay, deal.
	All right, John, make me happy.
	All right, let's see what we got.
	We got a couple of things here left over.
	Which one of these would make you happy?
	I got a good clip about Tonya Harding.
	Oh, Tina and her daughter at least saw it.
	They said it was a great movie.
	Well, here's a little background.
	I want to preface this.
	I cut out the end of this little report.
	Because it is a great movie.
	And mainly because of Janie, the woman who plays Tonya Harding's mom, I didn't realize until they showed in this clip, they have the mom who's estranged from Tonya Harding.
	And she not only looks like her, she talks like her.
	It's outrageous how good she was as an actress.
	She should win the Academy Award.
	Tanya Harding in the headlines, the Olympics, of course, approaching, and that new movie about her.
	Much of the movie depicts a troubled relationship with her mother.
	Tonight here, Amy Robach and the interview with Tanya Harding's mother and Tanya Harding herself on whether scenes like this one are accurate.
	Hey, stop talking to her.
	Yeah, that girl is your enemy.
	Tonight, Tonya Harding, her story depicted in the new film, I, Tonya, talking about her difficult relationship with her mother.
	How would you describe your mom as a mother?
	Not a good one.
	I know she probably did the best that she probably could.
	If there's no, you can't do it, type thing.
	She won't do it.
	It should be nothing.
	Her tough parenting captured in this 1986 documentary.
	For years, Harding has accused her mother of abuse.
	She's a good mother, but she's not a good mother.
	She hits me and she beats me.
	And tonight, we're hearing from Harding's estranged mother, LaVonna, a former waitress.
	I was working right around the clock, morning, noon and night, trying to get the money for her to skate and to have lessons.
	Tanya's mother insists she was no child abuser.
	I didn't abuse any of my children.
	Spanked, yes.
	Spanked, absolutely.
	Positively.
	You've got to show them right from wrong.
	But that's not how Tanya remembers it.
	When I was young, I remember she drug me into the bathroom.
	And beat me with a hairbrush.
	Literally.
	What had you done that made your mom go off on you with a hairbrush?
	Oh, it wasn't landing my jumps perfect.
	And if I... That was it.
	That's it.
	One time, I spanked her once with a hairbrush at a competition.
	Stop that.
	Harding says actress Allison Janney's portrayal of her mother is spot on.
	Hold on a second.
	My mom used to spank us with a hairbrush, and she had a threat that went along with it.
	Yeah?
	She said, Adam Clark Curry, when she knew she was pissed.
	Adam Clark Curry, if you do that, I will spank you with a hairbrush, bristle side down.
	That wasn't done in the movie.
	But the thing, the discrepancy here is the mom says all the spankers were to teach them right from wrong.
	Does that include how to land a jump?
	Come on.
	We're so old, John.
	The old woman just seems like a real battle axe.
	We're so old.
	That's why you say, how old are we?
	How old are we?
	That we remember the original meaning of taking a knee.
	Hey-oh!
	Now, now that you brought that up, I do have the kicker.
	There's this Asian doctor, Gu, who...
	He's been put on probation because he's apparently a racist of some sort because he's trying to stop white supremacy and everyone has to assume he hates whitey.
	But there's a kicker in this story.
	See if you can spot it.
	This is Dr.
	Gu and white supremacy.
	In Nashville, Tennessee, a medical resident famous for his political activism is challenging the Vanderbilt University Medical Center after he was suspended for two weeks over what he says was a Twitter post critical of white supremacy.
	In November, Dr. Eugene Gu tweeted a photo of himself taking a knee and raising a fist with the caption, I'm an Asian American doctor and today I take the knee to fight white supremacy.
	Dr. Gu says he was Yes.
	Dr.
	Gu has over 100,000 Twitter followers and has long been outspoken on social issues.
	He was previously subpoenaed to testify to Congress over his research on fetal tissues, and he's also suing President Trump for blocking him on Twitter.
	What?
	Great kicker.
	I like that.
	That's good.
	That's funny.
	Suing Trump for blocking him on Twitter.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	We got this guy, this bio guy, he donates quite a bit to the show and he keeps telling me to unblock him.
	Yeah.
	I can't find, I never can find him.
	And then he never, he keeps saying, you should unblock me, he never gives me the Twitter handle.
	Yeah, but did you see my reply to him earlier in the week?
	I said, give me the Twitter handle, otherwise it'll never happen.
	And he replied with the Twitter handle.
	Did Squirrel Mail not show that?
	I didn't get it.
	Yeah.
	Mm-hmm.
	Well, he's writing to me.
	Why doesn't he give me the Twitter handle?
	Note after note after note.
	Because if you look him up, there's a million guys with that name.
	Yeah, he's borderline insulted.
	Yeah, and just on that, I'm just going to my Twitter feed.
	Someone posted, there's a, apparently there's a username, and if you look at that username, and that user has blocked you, Then you're shadow banned on the tweeters.
	Shadow banned from what?
	Well, shadow banned from a lot, I don't know.
	Or you potentially will be shadow banned.
	So Trump blocks you?
	No, no, no, no, no.
	There's some special address.
	I'm scrolling through my timeline.
	I can't find it quick enough.
	Maybe someone in the troll room will have it.
	And if you go look at that guy's account, and if he has blocked you, and I've never seen this account, I have no idea who it is, then apparently you can be or will be soon shadow banned, or you're on the shit list, or I don't know.
	I mean, it was just interesting that I was blocked by him.
	That's why I'd like to have it.
	It's way down on the Twitter feed.
	I've got to check it now and see if I've been blocked.
	Yeah, but I don't know what his name was.
	I've got one last clip if you want to play it.
	It's the stupidest clip of the day.
	Apparently kids, so they can go on YouTube and they're stupidly eating Packs of Tide detergent, supposedly.
	I'm dubious about this report.
	In an earlier time, they might have been swallowing goldfish.
	Now teenagers are pursuing a much more dangerous, potentially deadly fad.
	Here's Anna Werner.
	Internet's theme is driving the latest teen fad, biting into detergent pods.
	But the so-called Tide Pod Challenge can kill.
	Those colorful detergent packs are highly concentrated and poisonous.
	So far this year, there's been a 20% jump in the calls to poison control centers from teens exposed to laundry pods.
	New Jersey Poison Center.
	Half of the 40 calls were due to intentional misuse.
	The problem goes beyond attention-seeking teenagers.
	The brightly colored pods can be mistaken for candy, as this photo shows.
	The Consumer Product Safety Commission says two toddlers ate them and died.
	Seniors with dementia are vulnerable, too.
	Eight died after eating the packs.
	And I'm wondering about its validity, but somebody's out to get these Tide Pods.
	Interesting.
	I do have a little lecture to give about detergents sometime.
	I'm going to save it for the Thursday show, the show 1000.
	If you go to your Twitter, I have the name now.
	Oh, okay.
	So you want to look for at William Legate.
	W-I-L-L-I-A-M-L-E-G-A-T-E. William Legate.
	W-I-L-L-I-M-L-E-G-A-T-E. Okay.
	Well, I don't have Twitter on this machine.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, his name is William Deep State Legate, and he has a Twitter checkmark verified, and I am blocked from viewing his tweets.
	But you know how you can still view them, right?
	Yeah, of course.
	Another tip.
	Oh, gee.
	Yeah.
	Just log out.
	Yeah.
	That's a great tip, John.
	Thanks.
	Some people might not know that.
	No, that's true.
	Some people might not.
	All right, everybody.
	That concludes episode niner, niner, niner of the best podcasts in the universe.
	We have quite a bevy of end-of-show mixes for you, so stay tuned for that.
	And we'll be back.
	Just when you thought your week would be ho-hum-so-so.
	No, no.
	Episode 1000, baby.
	T-minus one.
	That's right.
	Mahalo, balakahani.
	Episode 1000.
	And I look forward to that, and please remember us for that show at Dvorak.org slash NA. Until then, coming to you from downtown Austin, Texas, the capital of the drone star state in Shithole Nation, in the common law condo, the 5x9 Cludio.
	In the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where I've got my...
	Remember that thing with the big tower and had the speakers in the top?
	I forgot what that was called, a giant speaker or something.
	That's what this is!
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	The Giant's voice system.
	The Giant's voice system.
	Talk to you on Thursday, everybody, for episode 1000.
	Until then, adios, mofos.
	Adios, mofos.
	And you can see it double for half in a week.
	That's why I'll never be money.
	No, no, it'll never be money.
	Honey, you don't believe me?
	You can count the days till it crash.
	Well, now if everyone bites, we'll all be free.
	But the government law doesn't want to let it be.
	That's why I'll never be money No, no, it'll never be money Honey, you don't believe me You can count the days to the trash I got the big horn blue The U.S. Pacific Command has detected a missile threat to Hawaii A missile may impact on land or sea within minutes.
	This is not a drill.
	If you are indoors, stay indoors.
	If you are outdoors, seek immediate shelter in a building.
	Remain indoors well away from windows.
	If you are driving, pull safely to the side of the road and seek shelter in a building or lay on the floor.
	We will announce when the threat has ended.
	This is not a drill.
	Take immediate action measures.
	The U.S. Pacific Command has detected a missile threat to Hawaii.
	A missile may impact on land or sea within minutes.
	The sky is very bright, all in a very high!
	Using vulgar language, President Trump today questioned why the United States would allow people from Haiti and Africa into the country.
	Describing those places using an expletive.
	The president said, why are we having all these people from shithole, shithole, shithole, shithole, quote, excuse me, shithole, shithole countries.
	I wouldn't say that.
	I don't think you should say that.
	I'll say that.
	I'm a ho!
	Shithole countries.
	It's a bad word.
	This is how some people talk.
	Shithole countries.
	Is it graceful?
	No.
	Shithole.
	Shithole.
	Is it polite?
	Absolutely not.
	Shithole. Shithole. Shithole countries.
	I just think it's offensive.
	Of course it is.
	All countries in Africa are shitholes.
	Shithole countries.
	This is a new low.
	Racist, vulgar, un-American.
	This is a freak show.
	There's shithole communities in America.
	I'm a proud shithole.
	People from shithole countries.
	Donald Trump has turned the Oval Office into a shithole.
	Of course, it may not be appropriate for some of our younger viewers.
	We'll be right back.
	We'll be right back.
	Through Google, move ahead, kind of ancient, it's not too late to Bing It, Bing It Good.
	When fake news comes around, you must Bing It.
	You let our podcast down, unless you Bing It.
	Everyone's a slave until they Bing It.
	I say Bing It, Bing It Good.
	I say Bing It, Bing It Good.
	Well, I was born in a shithole, and I live in a shithole. I was born in a shithole, and I live in Probably dying this shithole, one of those shithole.
	I live in a shithole, and I live in a shithole.
	All my friends are so shithole.
	My parents live in the same shithole.
	My job is so shithole.
	They call it slavery.
	Educated in this shithole.
	I'm taught to fear Trump in this shithole.
	Screwed by Clinton in this shithole.
	It's all a scam, you see.
	But I've seen it all in this shithole.
	There's plenty of drugs in this shithole.
	I've tried not to get killed in this shithole.
	But it's a matter of time for me.
	No, I cannot forget where it is I come from.
	I cannot forget the people who screwed me.
	Yet I'm just a slave in this shitty old place.
	And everyone wants to fuck me.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Shithole country.
	Shithole.
	Shithole country.
	Shithole.
	But you get the point.
	shithole shithole countries Shithole Country. Shithole Country. Shithole Country. Shithole Country.
	Do you get the point?
	Shithole Country.
	Shithole Country.
	Shitholes.
	Shithole.
	Shithole Country.
	Shithole Country.
	Shithole.
	I will be your greatest champion.
	Mein Führer, Steiner, Steiner konnte nicht genug kräftig einen Angriff massieren.
	Der Angriff Steiner ist nicht erfolgt.
	Mein Führer, Steiner, Steiner konnte nicht genug Steiner konnte nicht genug kräftig einen Angriff.
	Mein Führer, Steiner, Steiner konnte nicht genug Steiner konnte nicht genug kräftig einen Angriff.
	Mein Führer, Steiner, Steiner konnte nicht genug Steiner konnte nicht genug kräftig einen Angriff.
	Mein Führer, Steiner, Steiner konnte nicht genug kräftig einen Angriff.
	Best podcast in the universe!
	Adios.
	Mopo.
	Dvorak.org.

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