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May 6, 2016 - No Agenda

02:41:33

822: The Great Clip Show

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	Now, what do we want to do at the end here?
	Adam Curry, John C. Devorak.
	It's Thursday, May 5th, 2016, and time once again for your Gitmo Nation media assassination, episode 822.
	This is no agenda.
	Sipping wine from a box and eating cheese on a stick and broadcasting live from the capital of Gitmo Nation, Frog's Legs, Paris, France.
	In the morning, everybody, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where I have no such pleasures, I'm John C. Devorak.
	It's Craig Vaughn and Buzzkill in the morning.
	In the morning.
	There we go.
	Yeah, finally, we did it.
	Good morning.
	A couple of false starts.
	Yes!
	I'm in Paris, France.
	We are live to tape.
	Live to tape.
	Live to tape, everybody.
	So how's the weather?
	Oh, the weather is almost perfect.
	If it was like 5 degrees, 8 degrees warmer, Fahrenheit that is, about 61, but when the sun is shining, it's dynamite.
	Dynamite, I tell you.
	The city of love.
	City d'amour.
	Which, I gotta tell you, the French are really nice to us.
	They claim their tourist business has been hit by the...
	Big time.
	Big time.
	We took two Ubers.
	First of all, this morning when we had breakfast, and I'm trying my French, you know, and I've always understood if you at least try, then, you know, they appreciate it.
	And they'll usually say something really fast, and then you go, what?
	Parlez plus lentement, s'il vous plaît.
	And then they'll just start talking English to you.
	So, big warning about two things.
	About the pickpockets, the guy could not stop.
	He's like, please, please, please, we're so happy to have you here.
	Please be careful of the pickpockets.
	It's crazy.
	And he said it's Brazilians who are doing it here in Paris.
	Well, Brazil has a reputation for a group.
	It's like, it's not gypsies in the old-fashioned sense, but there's a lot of that criminal activity, street activity, pickpocketing in Brazil.
	It's a very high...
	I've never been pickpocketed there, and I've been there a lot, but I've seen movies, and it's horrible.
	There's been movies where they just strip a guy and you're naked.
	They take everything.
	Everywhere.
	Even in the Eiffel Tower, everywhere, signs like, please, please, please be careful.
	Be careful of pickpockets.
	And they work in, you know, gangs and stuff.
	Gangs.
	No, they distract you with one group.
	This has been going on in Paris for a long time, but apparently since that's all-time worst...
	Yeah, it is apparently bad.
	Let's see, I learned a couple other things.
	So the pickpocketing, oh, and a couple of producers had emailed me about this, about, this is another hustle, another scam, where either a young woman or maybe a couple of kids will run up and they say, you American, you American?
	And if you say yes...
	Then they'll say, oh, you know, here, pledge.
	And they have, like, some tattered piece of paper.
	You know, pledge some money or something.
	You know, if you write in the amount, then the kids will start, you know, pestering that you have to pay now and drag you towards the ATM. There's, like, 18 different scams, but they're specifically for Americans.
	And sure, shoot, and we walk up to the Eiffel Tower, and there's, like, hello, American, American.
	I'm like, 90s, but a dicey!
	He said, okay.
	He just kept on walking.
	But anyway, so we took an Uber back.
	We took an Uber from the Eiffel Tower to the Musée d'Orsay, which is just mind-blowing.
	Thank you very much for the recommendation.
	There are no more Monets left in the world, I don't think.
	They're all there.
	M. Rodin sculptures and Van Gogh.
	The classics, the Van Goghs, you go, holy shit, I've seen that all my life and here it is.
	Yes, you're hearing...
	Well, that's kind of amusing since there's two museums in Holland.
	I know, we didn't go to the Van Gogh Museum.
	Oh, yeah, well, the Van Gogh, and then there's one out in the sticks someplace, which has even got a bigger collection from what I can tell.
	But forget that.
	The Monet's were just unbelievable.
	Just so beautiful.
	So beautiful.
	But anyway, so we took this Uber, and the kid, no, actually, young, he might have been my age, From Morocco.
	And we're just chatting.
	And he's really funny.
	But he says, you know, I've been here.
	I moved from Morocco when I was seven.
	I've been here, you know, 30, 40 years, whatever it was.
	He said, and I really thought Americans were kind of douchebags.
	You know, that they didn't like us and they think we're assholes.
	And he said, but once I started driving Uber, I found out that Americans are really nice people.
	And we're so happy to have you here because, you know, 25% down Americans alone in tourism, he said.
	Now's the time to go.
	I've always said it's the time we did some horrible event.
	Go then.
	Yeah, and everyone is really nice and happy we're here.
	It's beautiful.
	Even my crappy ass grade school French.
	Anyway, it's been fantastic.
	It's really been great.
	And we've got a couple more days.
	And we have a special episode of the show today.
	Which was compiled for us by SirCyber.
	He did the previous version of this, which is kind of a lot of our gags and jokes and funny moments from, I don't know, it's hundreds of episodes.
	He just keeps listening and plugs stuff in.
	I'm not quite sure.
	His process is...
	Actually, I think he sent me an email.
	Maybe if I have any spare time, I'll put it in the show notes, his process and how he put this together.
	But it is actually quite funny.
	Yeah, it's kind of weirdly funny because it's all the humor that he can compile.
	He apparently likes the funny parts of the show.
	And I guess in every show we have one or two moments where something hilarious happens and he's put them all on one show and now he's updated that, which is what we're going to hear now.
	Yeah.
	Okay, so are we going to come back?
	Are we going to break?
	Yeah, we'll come back right in the middle of it and discuss a few more things, maybe a little more about your trip to Paris, and then ask for some contributions so we can keep doing this show.
	And let's see what he's got for us.
	Okay, here he is.
	Sir Cybers, No Agenda Funnies, Part 2.
	CBS News contributor Michio Kaku is a physics professor.
	Which means he knows nothing professionally, professorally, about climate.
	At the City College of New York, good morning.
	Morning.
	So what's causing all this?
	Well, the wacky weather could get even wackier.
	That's when I perk up.
	Holy crap, wouldn't he become a broadcaster at the zoo?
	Morning zoo.
	Hey everybody, the wacky weather could get wackier!
	Woo!
	Baby, yeah!
	Come on, my daddy was a beetle.
	I don't know why I said that, but that's what they do at the morning show.
	My daddy was a beetle.
	Well, let me just say that I think you've been busted.
	By whom?
	Me.
	Okay, well...
	Wait a minute.
	I want you to deny...
	That this is you doing some, I guess, moonlighting, doing some show.
	Play the clip and tell me this isn't you.
	Gold show intro.
	Gold show intro.
	Okay.
	What is this?
	My name is Adam, though many of you know me as adult film producer Seymour Butts.
	You might remember me and my loved ones from the reality series Family Business.
	Welcome to our new show.
	Come on, drop that gold, boys.
	Go show.
	Go show.
	That's right.
	We're back, bitches.
	Oh, man.
	What is this airing on?
	This is so cool.
	This is you.
	That's why I'm here.
	We're doing another 13 series episodes in the series.
	I wish I was Mr.
	Seymour Butts.
	And by the way, you might as well play this little clip here, which kind of proves it to me, which is the Adam's Show recipe for success.
	Someone's getting corn-holed today.
	Sounds like a recipe for success to me.
	Wait a minute.
	This is going in the evergreens.
	John, the question is, okay, maybe I'm busted, but what are you doing finding this stuff?
	I have my sources.
	Oh, boy.
	Well, it does actually kind of nicely...
	It sounds exactly like you, and the guy looks like you.
	He's a tall, lanky guy.
	Everything looks exactly like you, except you've got some sort of thing.
	It looks as though he took some sort of new skin or something and put it around his eyes and let it dry.
	So he's got these really old, beat-up eyes.
	But except for the eyeballs.
	Nice.
	This is you.
	That's right.
	That's me.
	You got me.
	I'm busted.
	We already said, or I think one of the theses we discussed was that this was going to be a war.
	Goodbye, love.
	Enjoy.
	You look hot.
	You look LA hot.
	Alright, sorry.
	This was going to be not just a war.
	See you at the studio doing the gold show.
	Get those girls in line.
	Was there anything you wished you'd said, Rachel, when you finished and you went home and you saw the reaction and everyone giving you a hard time and so on?
	Was there anything you wished you'd said when you were in there?
	Nigga.
	Why?
	People...
	The whole word I say is a racist word.
	Mind you, around 2000s, that was not...
	They changed it around, I think.
	This is...
	I love this.
	Thank you for finally putting it on mainstream television that the word nigga is no longer racist.
	It started ten years ago.
	It's used in common language.
	It starts spelling N-I-G-G-A. What does that mean to you, that way of spelling it?
	Listen to Pierce, the moron.
	What an idiot.
	What does that mean?
	Does it hurt your feelings?
	What does that mean to you?
	That means a male.
	A male, exactly.
	A black male?
	A black male?
	Does it mean a black male?
	No, any kind of male.
	Any male, any male, thank you.
	Black or white.
	Black, any kind of Chinese can say nigga.
	Yes, yes, Chinese, thank you.
	That's my chino nigga.
	That's my chino nigga.
	Thank you.
	Thank you, Rachel.
	Thank you for finally putting that straight.
	It's about time.
	I condemn the woman now.
	They could say that.
	And rappers and everything use it in the music.
	And that's what they mean.
	Yes.
	But nigger, or nigger, I advise you not to be by black people, because they're not going to have it like that.
	Because that's a racist word.
	But they're two different words, and they have different meanings in your community.
	No, in a generation.
	He's such a dick.
	He's an idiot.
	Now it turns out, a couple things I get out of this.
	One, I would not advise people to use either term if they're white.
	And that would be aimed at you.
	Nigga, please!
	See, this is what the problem will be.
	But why can't I say that?
	You now will take it upon yourself to use the word constantly.
	When we check into the airport tomorrow...
	I'm hoping, yeah, you should do that to the TSA. Nigga, please let me go.
	I can't raise my hands.
	I'm on my shoulders.
	Take it, please.
	You have to keep...
	What is wrong with that?
	Well, for one thing, it requires enunciation to get it straight.
	I'm good at that.
	Which is always a problem.
	It's not black or white.
	Everybody has a problem enunciating.
	So that's a problem, number one.
	And number two, it's a bull...
	She's not the gatekeeper of...
	Anything.
	Yeah, but neither are you.
	Neither are you.
	She's Emily Post.
	She says it's okay.
	She is Emily Essen Post.
	She's a teenager.
	And you're saying, oh great, now I can use it.
	I want a t-shirt of her face.
	And I said, nigga, please!
	That's what I want.
	Okay.
	Somebody in the audience will make that for you and you have to wear it around Texas.
	No problem.
	No problem.
	I'll go outside of Austin even.
	And sometimes I can be a gay white guy or I can be an over-the-top black woman.
	I've never heard any of these people.
	Oh yeah.
	Nigga, please!
	This is what I did.
	Nigga, please!
	Oh yeah, you say that all the time.
	And I got an email from our producers who was shocked!
	Shocked that I did this.
	Yeah, okay.
	But when you did it, I was shocked too.
	Please.
	Oh my.
	Please.
	What have we come to?
	Yeah.
	To be clear, as a black man, I don't have a problem with people sounding jackass-y saying, nigga, I'm particularly sick of this overly sensitive liberal BS about words that hurt.
	My gripe is that Adam's honky ass tries to sound mockingly hip when he says it.
	At the risk of sounding like a cyber buddy, Adam, please stop.
	You're a tall white guy who made and blew millions in old media.
	Ghetto pass revokes.
	Well, I'm sorry.
	Now that my ghetto pass has been revoked, I'd just like to know, is there a way I can get my ghetto pass back?
	Well, he's going to have to come up with another donation.
	If there's a way that I can get my ghetto pass, until then...
	My black friend has revoked my ghetto pass.
	This I take seriously.
	Everybody else can pound sand.
	Someone revoking the ghetto pass.
	That's like taking my gypsy ring.
	So I'm done.
	Hey guys, just wanted to donate.
	This has been a while.
	And guilt's been eating me away.
	Oh no, that's bad.
	You guys make my commute very entertaining.
	And all the hookers I give rides to really enjoy the show.
	Yeah.
	Does it really say that?
	Yeah.
	Oh, so wait a minute.
	So he's playing the show while he's giving the hookers rides?
	Yeah.
	But he's got give rides to in quotes, which I'm not going to get into.
	So we don't know quite what that means.
	Do you think he's a trucker?
	I don't know.
	He might be.
	I mean, it sounds like a trucker.
	I mean, he's out in the middle, and it's the kind of place where a trucker would live.
	If you're a hooker and you listen to this show, let us know that we'll make you an honorary hooker.
	We love hookers.
	Honorary hooker.
	Well, I can't wait to bring this up at dinner.
	This will be a lot of fun.
	Hey, hey, how about the...
	Got any babies in incubators on the floor?
	You might kill your dinner thing going with this guy.
	You've got to ask him.
	Read the wiki page on this is quite good.
	And then you have the clips.
	John, John, stop egging me on.
	Are you insane?
	I've got to be careful here.
	Let's just read the wiki page and then just drop a bomb in there.
	Here's what I would ask.
	I'd say, oh, good to meet you.
	Oh, Hill and Nolton, yeah, yeah.
	You know, I remember that thing you did with that girl, the ambassador's daughter with that phony testimony that she did.
	That was great.
	Did you guys ever apologize for that?
	No, no.
	I think it's going to be different.
	It's going to be like, can you pass the potatoes?
	I think they've been incubating in the pot long enough.
	Oh, don't drop them on the floor.
	Oh, these are nice baby potatoes.
	Yeah.
	Oops, I dropped the baby potato on the floor.
	That we're incubating in the pot.
	Yes, that would work.
	They're going to tar and feather me and run me out of town is what's going to happen.
	None of them remember this, including that guy.
	Yeah, so I was at the EFF thing and a real cutie comes up to me and says, so what do you do?
	And I said, podcast.
	I'm a podcaster.
	And so she just turned and walked off.
	It's very strange.
	Never, ever, ever say that.
	You might as well say, I pick my nose and eat the boogers.
	I mean, it's a horrible thing to say.
	I'm a podcaster.
	I'm sorry, I have to go poop now.
	They'll do anything to get away from you.
	Hey, the Poop Project.
	What is this?
	The Poop Project.
	I haven't seen it.
	The Poop Project?
	No, it sounds...
	Thepoopproject.org.
	The Poop Project is a grassroots organization pushing for change from the bottom up.
	We create art, social media, and educational experiences that heal the cultural shame-keeping potty talk taboo.
	What?
	Yeah.
	Our work promotes critical conversations about sustainable sanitation for the person, planet, and world community.
	The Poop Project is a fiscally sponsored...
	This is a parody.
	No.
	Onion.
	No.
	The Poop Project is a fiscally sponsored non-profit through Fractured Atlas.
	This is a real organization that is on the Climate March website, John.
	It's real!
	The Poop Project is dedicated to...
	Oh, I already read that part.
	Why talk about poop?
	For our bodies, rather than accepting a world that makes us feel guilt for doing something everybody does, we could be creating a world that is hospitable to the reality of having a body and all of its needs.
	Don't poop!
	The problem?
	We have become disconnected from our...
	The problem is we poop!
	Don't poop, ladies!
	There's no reason to poop.
	If you leave it in there long enough, it'll finally digest itself.
	You know, it's been a while, but finally I feel I can play this jingle again.
	Detective Dookie.
	Detective Dookie.
	Poop Police.
	FPU. Special Poopers Unit.
	This is real, people.
	This is real money that is going to this.
	Real money.
	It's real!
	Real money!
	It's real!
	This is like comedy.
	And that is why, personally, I cannot be part of a network funded by the Russian government that whitewashes the actions of Putin.
	Putin!
	I love that!
	That's so sexy!
	Putin!
	Putin!
	She says Putin!
	Putin!
	Putin!
	I can't even say that.
	Whitewashes the actions of Putin.
	Putin!
	Putin!
	He's poo-in.
	No, she says poo-in.
	No, she says poo-in like kit-tin.
	No, she does not pronounce the T. She says poo-in like pooping.
	No, just play it again and listen for the T. It's poo-in.
	Poo-in.
	That whitewashes the actions of poo-in.
	Poo-in.
	Yeah, yeah, it's poo-in.
	Poo-in.
	He's poo-in.
	Poo-in!
	Poo-in!
	There's a student video we gotta get a hold of.
	I have it right here.
	Oh, play.
	Climate change and how to slow it down.
	This is the first place winner.
	Might as well have a little listen.
	One minute, 15 seconds.
	Climate change, how to slow it down.
	First place climate change category.
	World of 7 billion student video contest.
	May of 2014.
	Here we go.
	That's a cow farting.
	Green gas.
	No, that was you.
	No, no.
	I'm telling you, start this video, there's a cow farting, and the fart turns into a cloud.
	Of methane.
	Yes.
	I'll read what it says.
	I'm not kidding you.
	Here.
	Did you hear the cow farts?
	Listen.
	Yeah, let's start it again.
	Here we go.
	It farts, and the cloud says greenhouse gas, methane.
	Oh, let's get rid of cows.
	There's one other one here which is...
	Maybe it's called something else?
	Miss American Sleazeballs.
	That's the second thing.
	Okay, I'm going to see if I can read down that one while we play the intro clip one.
	Intro clip one.
	Thomas Edison judged America's first beauty pageant in my state.
	Can you feel the electricity?
	My name is Rebecca Jackson, Miss Delaware.
	Listening to your phone calls from the nation's capital.
	Just kidding.
	I'm Miss District of Columbia, Austin, Newcomer.
	Once most famous for the fountain of youth, now we're known as America's weirdest state.
	I am Miss Florida Miranda Jones. - From the land of the free and the home of the brave, I'm ready to hit it at the park tonight.
	I'm Harley Mathis, Miss Georgia.
	Now wait a minute.
	Did I hear Miss Washington, D.C. say from the Capitol where we're listening to all of your calls?
	Yes.
	She should have won.
	That's funny.
	Well, I'm sure all this material was written for the girls.
	Oh, yeah, of course.
	But every time they announced themselves, and then as soon as they said their name, then they started dancing like lunatics.
	It was dumb.
	And then some of them were outside, so they had really crappy light, and they didn't look good at all.
	There was one whole scene of about ten women that were all backlit.
	Yeah.
	So you couldn't see their faces.
	Don't look at them because you can't unsee it.
	Yeah, it was bad.
	It was really a bad production.
	Yeah, we did see it.
	And so, did you get that other clip down?
	Yeah, I got it.
	Okay, so let me get the name of this guy.
	The guy who, you know, they've got these, this show used to have a, you know, used to have Bob Barker.
	And Bob Barker was always seen as a kind of a womanizer.
	The, let's see, host.
	Is Bob Barker dead?
	Did he die?
	I don't know.
	You can look him up and see.
	Bob Barker was...
	And he always sang a song at the end.
	Oh, the Miss America song, right?
	Yeah.
	But wasn't he the Price is Right guy?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, and he was just apparently sleeping with everybody.
	Even in his 70s.
	He was the Hoff of his day, basically.
	Let me see.
	Bob Barker.
	I think he's still alive, man.
	Yeah, according to the Wikipedia, he's still alive.
	Age 89, I bet he's still naming him.
	Yeah, you get into it.
	So who is this guy, this douchebag that's the host on this thing?
	He's gay.
	And all the judges were gay.
	I mean, it's become...
	Who are the judges?
	Who are the judges?
	Oh, they had...
	I mean, they're gay.
	They're so gay.
	It was ridiculous.
	And even the woman...
	Was it gay?
	The female was...
	But yeah, but she was one of those Holly Hunter...
	What's her name type?
	Gay women.
	They kind of talk through their teeth a little bit like this.
	I mean, like a lesbian?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He talks like this.
	Here we go.
	Let me see.
	I got the judges here.
	Carla Hall.
	Let me see.
	Oh, Sam Haskell, is he the host?
	Yeah, I think so, yeah.
	Oh, wait, Lance Bass was the host?
	Yeah.
	No, he was a judge.
	A judge, yes.
	He's gay.
	Yeah, he's known.
	I mean, these are out gays.
	We're not making stuff up here.
	They should put us on.
	Yeah, that would work.
	It's rigged.
	And I'll tell you why it was rigged.
	Let me play the sleazeball thing.
	You listen to the whole thing, and then I'll give you my analysis at the end.
	Miss New York!
	Luna!
	Come on over here.
	Carla Hall!
	TV host Julie Chen revealed that when she was starting out, for career reasons, she had plastic surgery to make her eyes appear less Asian.
	What message does this send to young women?
	Unfortunately, I don't agree with plastic surgery.
	However, I can understand that from a standpoint.
	But more importantly, I've always viewed as Miss America as the girl next door.
	And the girl next door is evolving as the diversity in America evolves.
	She's not who she was 10 years ago, and she's not going to be the same person come 10 years down the road.
	So I wouldn't want to change someone's looks or appearance, but definitely be confident in who you are.
	All right, Miss New York, thank you very much.
	Thank you so much, by the way, for recording this for me.
	This is a true delight.
	Ladies, one of you six will get a question.
	Unfortunately, five of you will be eliminated from this competition.
	The next and final question goes to finalist Miss Florida!
	Miranda Jones!
	Miranda, come on over.
	Come on over.
	Reach in.
	No speaking?
	Deacon Downs Gun.
	What?
	Hold on a second.
	What did she say?
	Deirdre Down's gun.
	Let me just replay that.
	She looks like Jodie Foster and then talks to her teeth.
	Anniversary of Dr.
	King's I Have a Dream speech and we have an African-American president.
	Yet minorities still have disproportionately low incomes and disproportionately high unemployment and incarceration rates.
	What should our nation do to address this issue?
	I actually came from a home that my father is unemployed.
	It took a lot for me to be able to stand on this stage.
	So I truly represent that middle-class, blue-collar family that's working hard to make their kids be able to have all the opportunities in the world.
	So that comes from, we need to have more jobs in America.
	Alright, Miss Florida, I'm sorry our time is up.
	Thank you very much.
	Thank you.
	Don't rush.
	Alright, congratulations Miss Florida.
	There is time.
	It's a timed answer.
	Don't make me the bad guy.
	Alright, I'm the bad guy.
	Have you all made your choices?
	Let us know at hashtag MissAmericaBringItOn.
	Alright, alright.
	Let me tell you what I've discovered in this fine piece of journalistic research that you've committed for us.
	Jebediah.
	First of all, this makes no sense for the Asian girl who was talking about plastic surgery.
	And I saw these girls, and I think many of them have had work done.
	Just a glance of 15, 20 minutes that I saw the show.
	I disagree and I think it is a mistake to say that Miss America is the girl next door.
	Under no circumstances do I want the girl next door in a bathing suit.
	In America, we want hot chicks on stage.
	This program is misogynistic.
	It is anti-women.
	It is almost like Islam.
	Subjugating women to cheap pieces of meat on stage, who we then make dance.
	And, insult to injury, they gave one girl twice as much time as the other.
	You nailed it.
	Now here's the times.
	They had four women come out, and Miss Oklahoma's long-winded at 20.42 seconds.
	I timed these answers.
	Because, you know, there's nothing else to do.
	Miss Minnesota comes out, $13.79.
	She's in, she's out.
	She's good.
	Miss California, the girl in the tutu comes out, $18.94.
	Miss New York, the winner.
	I had two timings on her, but the most conservative timing, she was on for $22.79.
	He cuts off Miss Florida at $21.69.
	This is a scam!
	Of the highest order.
	And here's the reason.
	One of them, Miss New York, the attractive, you know, I think there's more attractive Indian women, but she's not a bad looking girl.
	She was talking about multiculturalism.
	That is so great.
	Yep.
	Miss Florida was talking about unemployment.
	Yeah, no, we can't have any of that.
	So she gets booted.
	Get off!
	She gets booted by this douchebag.
	They flash the red light and he jumps on it because he's an obvious robot.
	Yeah.
	It was the worst show ever.
	I think Donald Trump is the only one who benefited from it.
	And here's my prediction, by the way.
	They created a bunch of bogus hatred of calling the Indian woman a terrorist and an Arab on Twitter, which is just douchebags on Twitter, doesn't mean anything.
	I believe that she will quit.
	She will not finish her term as Miss America.
	Ooh, this is one for the Red Book, John.
	Red Book.
	Wow, Red Book.
	Red Book entry as of today.
	That way they can make a big stink about it.
	Right, because she was bullied.
	Exactly.
	Okay, so we put in the Red Book, the reigning Miss America will not complete her term, which of course means that the runner-up will take the crown.
	Who was the runner-up, John?
	I don't remember.
	I was so sickened by this old one.
	It's one of them.
	None of them are good.
	Ms.
	Merrick was sitting there, the best looking one, and the smartest.
	She's standing there holding the bag as a sixth placer.
	And I love that, was it Ms.
	Kansas, the one that, which I have to say they used very appropriately for PR. The one with the tattoos, and she's a naval reservist.
	And she, by the way, let me just say, you want Ms.
	America?
	That is...
	Pretty much every American boy's dream of Miss America.
	A girl who shoots.
	A girl who shoots.
	You know, she's got tats.
	You know, she looks like she could crack your head with her thighs.
	Right.
	And she probably likes football.
	Yeah.
	I mean, you know, she burps and drinks beer.
	And this is a great gal.
	Right.
	What was her talent, John?
	What was her talent?
	I don't remember, to be honest.
	What kind of report is this?
	I'm basing my report on the timings of these answers.
	That was the whole deal of the report.
	You can look the rest of it up.
	You nailed that.
	I think you've got a good point.
	Good point.
	Good work.
	Thank you very much, John C. DeBoer, our correspondent for the Miss America contest.
	What will we have next?
	Will it be Miss Universe, or what is the next festival of meat we'll be able to see, John?
	I have them on the calendar.
	There's four competitions we follow.
	Miss USA, Miss America, Miss Universe, and Miss World.
	Yes, yes.
	These are the top ones.
	And the next, I believe, is coming up.
	These come together pretty quickly.
	I think the next one is Miss Universe, and I think that is next month, possibly.
	I have to go look at my Google calendar.
	It is amazing.
	The chat room is quite entertaining.
	That was, because every single time I hear her now, it reminds me of it.
	Welcome back to Friday Briefings.
	I'm sorry that August is over.
	Oh, and this one time at band camp.
	I don't have anything at the top today.
	I stuck a flute in my pussy.
	I can't help myself.
	Now, whenever I see her, I'm thinking, oh my God, it's really her from American Pie.
	So the big news was...
	That's disgusting.
	Yes, it is.
	But it was a funny movie.
	Good work, by the way, John.
	Did you hand out any discs?
	I did.
	I always hand out discs.
	And did you have the discs in a plastic bag?
	Were you walking around with a plastic bag like a lunatic?
	No, they fit in my back pocket quite handily.
	I just think it's a better look if you have a disheveled a little bit with a plastic bag.
	Yeah, right.
	That looks great.
	With CDs.
	Hey!
	It's the look I'm going for.
	Hey, did I have one of my CDs yet?
	So Larry Lessig brought this story up.
	And it was kind of funny because he was...
	At first I didn't get to talk to him because he had a bunch of well-wishers, a bunch of groupies.
	Were they hot?
	Hanging around him.
	Oh, Larry!
	And so he finally got away from the groupies, and so we were just standing around with people that actually know the guy.
	And it was funny, because when he just dropped into the conversation, he says, well, I had a meeting with the president.
	Exactly.
	And so everybody, because we all know him, just gave him shit for saying that.
	Right.
	Oh, that's funny.
	I said, O'Reilly, what president?
	Everyone else is hooting and hollering, so he finally apologized.
	That's great.
	You guys have a very entertaining show.
	So glad my friend Rock Harvey sounds like a total porn name.
	Hey, Rock Harvey.
	Damn Rock Harvey.
	Hey, everybody.
	Rock Harvey is coming at you right now.
	Someone's getting corn-holed today.
	Sounds like a recipe for success to me.
	What is the example of one version of freedom of speech that is not allowed?
	Well, the yelling fire in a theater?
	Yes, correct.
	That has now changed in 2013.
	A gun scare forced an organ movie theater to be evacuated last night.
	Witnesses say an argument erupted in a back row during a movie.
	Someone thought they heard the word gun and shouted the word, which caused a panic.
	Somebody heard the word gun.
	What was this, like a mic check?
	Everybody yells gun now?
	Someone thought they heard the word gun.
	Gun!
	But what really happened is even funnier.
	Police say there was never a gun, but some nearby businesses went into lockdown.
	Lockdown!
	So we locked down our doors, and it was a little scary at first, but then when we saw people kind of leisurely hanging outside of the theater, we kind of realized it wasn't as big of a threat as we thought it was.
	So what do you think happened?
	Let me tell you a couple things here first.
	As you notice, in the last clip and this clip, both of them, Had some dingbat woman...
	And then one time...
	This is again to propagandize the females of this country to vote Democrat.
	That's correct.
	You put the women up there and then they express themselves and everyone goes, oh yes, she's right.
	She's right.
	Better to be safe than sorry.
	Vote Democrat.
	So what do you think actually happened in this theater?
	I don't know.
	Some guy was...
	I don't know.
	I mean, I have a lot of lewd thoughts.
	Well, your lewd thought may be close.
	Here is the final eight seconds of this report.
	Officers say the whole thing started after a man urinated on a teenager in the back of the theater.
	What?
	Really?
	Gun?
	Gun?
	I get it.
	I get it.
	Funny.
	I like...
	What a great story.
	Hey man, stop pissing on me.
	This is not okay.
	And somehow that led to gun.
	Yeah, that's a gun.
	Gun, gun, gun.
	Wow.
	You gotta love it.
	This is Gambia Yahya Jeme.
	He is the president of Gambia Yahya Jeme.
	Now you scroll down and he's with the President.
	You see a picture of him with the President.
	Now he is wearing, I think he has the sheets from the Lincoln bedroom that he took.
	And if you are an African leader, you can carry sticks and beads and he's shaking hands with President Obama.
	He's holding his wallet because something's about to be inserted.
	But look at this stick that he's holding.
	Here's what I think.
	So this guy, he's hanging out with his buddies.
	They're on the jet.
	Yeah, flying to D.C. They're going to go get a couple billion dollars, which they'll pill for most.
	He says, hey, I got a great idea.
	I'm going to throw on these sheets.
	And you see this butt plug?
	I'm going to put it on a stick, and I'm going to hold it right next to the president.
	And he'll be laughing.
	Look, I think it's a butt plug on a stick.
	It's impossible.
	I like it.
	She's basically living her life based on stereotypes that have been fed her by the media.
	Yes.
	And then I love to say things like, well, I really enjoy it.
	And everyone's very polite.
	And I always take a beat and say, because we're all armed.
	You go first.
	No, after you.
	But you're not carrying a gun, are you?
	I said, no, I don't really see a need for a concealed carry, but yeah, I have one in the car.
	My wife, you know, a socialist, banned the bomb commie from Holland.
	She carries a gun in her car and she likes it.
	That just fries people's brains.
	Keep that sound effect.
	That sounds exactly like somebody's brain frying.
	Yeah, no it does.
	It's, yeah.
	Okay, here's my substitutions.
	Essentially becomes fundamentally.
	Okay.
	I don't need the horn.
	Weird becomes strange balls.
	Strange balls.
	No, no.
	Strange balls is verboten.
	No, no.
	Strange balls.
	I'm using it as a transition because I can break the habit of saying that easier.
	Why not just say unusual?
	Unusual is really the word you're looking to use.
	Strange balls.
	No, no, no, no.
	Strange balls.
	I'm not going to use it.
	Strange balls.
	I would like to remind people that both Black Hat and DEFCON, I think both these conferences were started by a guy who essentially now consults for the government.
	I don't know if they were both started by the same guy.
	I didn't know that.
	It's possible.
	I guess, why not?
	The two are back-to-back, which is kind of odd.
	Anyway, people that I talk to say that this is really a place for wannabes and weenie boys.
	That's what I've heard.
	I'm not saying that.
	Please don't hack me.
	You'll find out tomorrow when your whole server's down.
	Everything's busted.
	Wannabes, weenie boys, here, Curry, take this.
	Poor Maynard, you know, in Australia.
	You're not really going to make me play this clip, are you?
	Seriously.
	You don't have to play the whole thing.
	It's stupid.
	I just like the clip because you can visualize it and it's this note of disinterest.
	But Maynard's apparently sitting in his underwear nowadays and spending most of his time watching this, I guess it's a website called Topless Women Read Books.
	And so some woman is trying to read the Declaration of Independence in some disinterested manner, and so I clipped it.
	It's dumb.
	It's dumb.
	When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one...
	It shows everything that is wrong with humanity.
	Her boobs are not pretty.
	She's sitting there.
	No.
	She's sitting there reading.
	She doesn't even understand what she's reading.
	She doesn't know what she's reading.
	There's no clue.
	She can barely pronounce half the words.
	It's a mockery.
	I think we've got the clue.
	It's a mockery.
	I've come to the conclusion that Great Britain, although I think we've known this all along, is not very much into the EU for all kinds of different reasons.
	And I realize that they put Nigel Farage, they have a bunch of people, there's not just one, because the Parliament has some guys, including this guy Andrew Duff, who you could look up.
	I think they put Nigel Farage in because he's an insulting a-hole to the EU members.
	He's entertaining.
	He's very entertaining.
	But he is not what you would say is a guy who is sent in to represent the British as nice people.
	He was sent in, obviously, and now I've concluded this, he was sent in to be who he is, and he's made the most of it.
	Yeah, the arrogant British prick who's right.
	Yeah, and then they got the other guy who's the more thoughtful person, this guy Andrew Duff.
	He's also from UKIP, I think, right?
	No, no, no, he's a liberal Democrat.
	Oh, Lib Dem, yeah.
	And so he's in there, and he is a tremendously, and I'm not giving this clip just to ridicule and make fun of the guy, but he is one of the worst stutterers in the history of Britain since that king that they did the movie about.
	And as a Tourette sufferer, I always feel that they are kind of my cousin.
	Stutterers.
	Stutterers are kind of like the low-grade Tourettes, and you don't have the cool stuff.
	Right.
	I never thought of it that way, but this poor guy, and the thing that's bad is he actually said in his nice little speech, very erudite and all the rest of the stuttering, but when he stuttered, you'd have to actually visualize him scrunching up his face and looking like he's suffering the worst kind of breakdown ever.
	Can we roll?
	Yes, please.
	What I see through the clouds of tear gas is a democratic revolt.
	Clumsy...
	Complex, messy, but also moving.
	In style, it reminds me of Chicago and Paris in the 1960s.
	Are you kidding me?
	Did you enhance her sweetenance?
	I have done nothing to this clip.
	This is so painful.
	This is painful.
	This is, again, I think it's the British telling the EU to get screwed.
	Why are they making this poor man speak at all?
	Shouldn't this be a vote?
	This guy should be a voter.
	Take it from his perspective.
	Okay, he has to go up there and suffer.
	But on the other hand...
	This has got to be the cushiest job in the world.
	Well, yeah.
	You've got all the expenses paid.
	You've got hookers in Brussels.
	I mean, the whole place has just got to be great.
	No tax.
	No taxes.
	No taxes.
	It's a gem.
	And he could go get treatment.
	I mean, it's not impossible to solve these problems.
	But this is...
	No, and this is not...
	That's not the worst of the one you just heard.
	This has not been enhanced at all, believe me.
	It didn't have to.
	Well, let me play some more.
	Let me play some more.
	It's 68.
	And like the follow-through from such spontaneous revolts, in the end, Turkish I want to hear the translated version that they're listening to on the headphones.
	I was thinking about that, too.
	Because in these operations, you always have these things and somebody's trying to translate.
	It's possible that the translator can't understand a stutterer.
	That's a possibility.
	But this guy's been there for a while, so I'm sure that's been solved.
	I'll bet that the translation for this guy's speech is fantastic because...
	Generally speaking, Americans and British, our language is so compressed that it's hard to translate it to a lot of these verbose languages.
	This guy, if you really listen to the number of words he gets out when he finally gets them out, is very slow, which has got to be great translations.
	Oh, wow.
	I can imagine some Arab listening to him and not knowing he's stuttering.
	Right.
	Just thinking, man, they have a weird way of talking, don't they?
	And what does it sound like when you have an Arab who stutters?
	Are there such things as Arab stutterers?
	We wouldn't know.
	They could all be stuttering.
	Alu Akbar.
	We wouldn't know.
	You're right.
	I've never...
	I have no idea.
	The net effect is if you are a law-abiding citizen of this country going about your business and your personal life, you have nothing to fear.
	There you go.
	If you're a law-abiding citizen of this country and you're going about your business, you have nothing to fear.
	However, if you like to down-law on weird porn, or if you're cheating on your wife or your husband, or if maybe you're cheating and you're driving too fast, or you could be breaking the law in many ways, we all come down on you with a rat!
	Nothing to fear about the British state or intelligence agency.
	Nothing at all to fear about the British state or the intelligence.
	Listening to the contents of your phone calls.
	Not just, I'm sorry, I almost flubbed it there, not listening to the phone, I mean the contents of your phone calls.
	Or anything like that.
	Indeed, you'll never be aware of all the things those agencies are doing.
	I don't even know we're doing it.
	To stop your identity being stolen.
	I've been protecting you, protecting you.
	I haven't done a very good job of that even.
	To stop a terrorist blowing you up.
	Oh, you don't want to be blown up by a terrorist?
	We have thwarted that many times.
	But if you are a would-be terrorist...
	Then we're going to fuck you up, bitch!
	Or the center of a criminal network, or a foreign intelligence agency trying to spy on Britain.
	You should be worried, because that is what we work on, and we are, on the whole, quite good at it.
	And now we have our new girl on the block, Jen Psaki.
	Oh, God.
	And Jen...
	I'm glad you're dogging this woman.
	Yeah, no, I have to because there's something about her that I love and hate at the same time.
	She's like a big nurse in the one flew over the cuckoo's nest.
	She's got this snide, powerful, like she could just crush you.
	Yes.
	And like you're a little kid because she talks to everyone like they're six.
	Yes.
	It didn't work out so well the other day.
	Sit down and be a nice boy, aren't you?
	I think she's a dominatrix.
	This is, I think, what I'm feeling.
	I'm seeing her in, yeah, like a dominatrix outfit with boots and a whip.
	And I have an orange ball in my mouth.
	I'm not quite sure what's happening.
	Yeah, that would be right.
	And you're not in my fantasy.
	Yeah, that would be true.
	I might be filming it.
	Today is Quantum Dawn 2, which takes place.
	Quantum Dong?
	Almost.
	Quantum Dawn.
	Quantum Dawn.
	Shall I tell you something?
	Here's what they messed up with this thing.
	They should have Curry and Dvorak doing the play-by-play voiceover of the parade.
	Yeah, no, no.
	Doing the voiceover.
	You know how, like, Kathy Lee and...
	Oh, yeah.
	Who used to do that?
	Was it Kathy Lee and Regis?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Do they used to do that?
	Yeah, yeah, no.
	Oh, and there come the gay cops.
	Here they are.
	They're doing their little dance.
	That was unexpected.
	You're supposed to be doing Alexander the Great historical stuff.
	So I'll be saying, and here come the soldiers, ladies and gentlemen.
	John, what do we know about the historical significance of gays in the military?
	Well, most militaries were extremely gay.
	It seemed to solve a number of problems.
	And by the way, this is Obama talking about the odds of getting killed by terrorists.
	We're going to live our lives and the odds of people dying in a terrorist attack obviously are still a lot lower than in a car accident, unfortunately.
	Unless you're Michael Hayes.
	Did you hear that?
	Wait a minute.
	Wait a minute.
	Unfortunately, no.
	We're going to live our lives and the odds of people dying in a terrorist attack obviously are still a lot lower than in a car accident, unfortunately.
	Wow.
	Well, you've already set it up.
	Crap.
	I'll give it to you then.
	Damn.
	Well, there's more.
	There's more.
	But I didn't hear the unfortunately the first time around.
	Listen to this.
	When you asked us to remove high fructose corn syrup from Yoplait Original and Light, we were like, sure, no problem.
	And you were like, thanks, but what about thick and creamy and whips?
	And we were like, done and done.
	Now it's out of everything Yoplait makes.
	And you were all, yum!
	And we're like, is it just us or has this been a really good conversation?
	And you were like, I want to talk, but my mouth is full of yogurt.
	Yoplait, it is so good.
	You had me at thick and creamy.
	Obviously.
	Sugar industry finally got their act together.
	Yeah, they got their idea.
	They got the right people.
	They're getting the right message out.
	And they use sexual overtones.
	It's perfect.
	Yeah.
	There's tons of it.
	That's how you do it.
	Kind of that sound like she's got the dick in her mouth.
	Yeah.
	Thick and creamy.
	Too busy.
	Wait a minute.
	Who was the actress?
	Lisa Kudrow.
	Oh, yeah.
	And she's kind of...
	She's sexy in a kinky way.
	Yeah, I guess.
	That's probably one way of describing it.
	But that commercial is a work of art.
	Yeah.
	In terms of propaganda.
	Well, that's what it is.
	It's all propaganda, but that's okay.
	Lisa Kudrow.
	Yeah.
	She's funny.
	I like her.
	Yeah, and she's the one who can pull off the mumbling sound while she's talking.
	And I don't think people understand that, you know, the sex thing is huge in these commercials.
	And, I mean, the way it's thick and creamy.
	It's like, yeah, I want some...
	I can't talk because my mouth is full.
	It's full of thick and creamy.
	Write that down as a potential show title, John.
	Thick and creamy.
	Yeah.
	You know what this documentary did?
	Yeah?
	1.2 million viewers for CNN. Well, the public at large is very interested in this.
	Yeah, but let me see what the demo was.
	I'm in the demo.
	Well, let me write that down.
	Hold on a second.
	53 cents.
	Well, there's a couple of things here.
	One, this is on a broadcast show.
	I believe this is an extortion vehicle, as they all are.
	Monsanto's not advertising enough.
	Let's go after it.
	Wait, wait.
	Let me play the other kid I've got.
	This is Straw Boy.
	This is another one of my favorites.
	A young man left a message for us the other day.
	Oh, wow!
	The kid's sitting around playing with his Green Army men and thinks, I've got to call up NPR. I've got to set them straight.
	Hi, I have some exciting news to report.
	How good is that?
	My name's Milo, founder and spokesperson for an environmental organization, and I live in Monkmonts.
	Governor Hickenlooper just formally recognized my organization with a proclamation.
	The name of my organization is Be Straw Free.
	Did you catch that?
	Be Straw Free.
	Twelve-year-old Milo Kress is disturbed by how many drinking straws people use and toss them.
	Oh!
	Won't somebody please think of the children?
	I'm telling you, this has to stop people.
	Be straw-free?
	Well, I don't know who they're extorting on that one.
	Flavor straw?
	Maybe they want to get them back into the game.
	I have no idea.
	It's a seven-minute report, but it's not the point.
	Seven minutes of that?
	Seven minutes on NPR. Yeah.
	Oh, my God.
	That's the clip of the day.
	Hit it.
	Oh, really?
	Oh, man.
	I was not expecting that.
	Thank you.
	Hold on.
	Wow.
	Well, I'm straw free.
	And so, some of the proposals we've seen now are talking about even deeper cuts in programs like Head Start.
	Even deeper cuts in education support.
	Even deeper cuts in basic science and research.
	And, you know, that's like eating your corn seed.
	I think the expression is, eating your seed corn.
	Your corn seed.
	It's really funny, eating your corn seed.
	It's like, no.
	The IPCC, their new report, was leaked.
	Got leaked.
	Yes, and it got leaked to Mother Jones, of all people.
	Oh, what a weird coincidence.
	And they have five terrifying statements in the leaked climate report.
	Are you ready to be terrified?
	I'm ready.
	Terrifying fact number one.
	We're on course to change the planet in a way unprecedented in hundreds to thousands of years.
	Leaked fact number two.
	Ocean acidification is virtually certain to increase.
	I love the virtually certain.
	What does that even mean?
	Virtually certain.
	Virtually certain.
	What does that mean?
	I don't know.
	They're making it up.
	Terrifying facts number three.
	Harmonica.
	Long-term sea level could rise to be five to ten meters.
	That's 30 feet, by the way.
	Long term.
	30 feet.
	Yeah, 10 meters is 30 feet.
	Yeah, it is.
	But that's by the year 2100, John.
	Oh.
	Yeah, okay.
	Frightening fact number four.
	This implies a substantial melting of the Greenland ice sheet.
	And frightening fact number five.
	Much of the carbon we've emitted will stay in the atmosphere for a millennium. . . .
	There you go.
	There you go.
	Why can't we have that in Congress?
	That is cool.
	This is the BBC report, which I found hilarious.
	George Clooney is a spy.
	That's how it started.
	That sums it up.
	I have a video here of one of these Swedish morning shows.
	And they're all very excited about the President and the First Lady.
	And they're coming over to hang out in Sweden.
	And so what do you do on a morning TV show?
	And you have the full staff.
	Think kind of like Good Morning America.
	And you have your celebrities and they're coming on.
	What would you do to get everyone kind of into the whole vibe of the Obamas visiting?
	You'd have Michelle come on and cook something.
	Ooh!
	Very close!
	They didn't have Michelle come on, but they were cooking something.
	Onsdags är det tänkt att president Barack Obama är på väg till Stockholm och i sand presidentanda så gör vi denna söndag lite amerikansk brunch tillsammans med systrarna Eisenman.
	Nu håller vi på att förbereda något väldigt amerikanskt.
	Yes, det är nog mest amerikanska man kan tänka sig.
	Och det är macaroni and cheese.
	And then they go on to explain.
	Inte den här, det finns en förpackning där i.
	Det finns det här kända märket som är knallorange och You know what she's saying there, don't you?
	She's talking about how great macaroni and cheese is.
	Mac and cheese.
	That's exactly what she said.
	She said, this is the national dish of America.
	It's cheap macaroni and cheap cheddar cheese melted together.
	That's exactly what she was saying.
	How sad is it that that is now our national dish?
	Local story.
	KTVU News has learned of disturbing new information about a deadly pedestrian accident in Berkeley.
	The victim was well-known psychology professor Joe Luft, who was out for his daily walk.
	The 98-year-old professor was struck and killed back in April while in the crosswalk at Sacramento Street in Bancroft.
	Police said the driver, 56-year-old Robert Gilchrist of Oakland, was legally blind and driving on a license that had been suspended 14 years ago.
	Time of the crash.
	Not a day goes by that I don't receive a picture of some mac and cheese meme somewhere in the universe.
	And meanwhile, there is other stuff going on in the world, ladies and gentlemen, and it's back.
	The War on Chicken.
	Hey, when you want to wage war on somebody, what you need is a study.
	And whether you're doing a study on chemical weapons or whether you're doing a study on the future of families, which was a study commissioned by PETA, known as the People's Ethical Treatment of Animals, let me tell you what's going on.
	The latest scientific evidence, John.
	Evidence!
	The science is in!
	It shows that sons of pregnant women who consume chicken are more likely to have a smaller penis.
	What?
	Yes, if you are pregnant and you eat chicken, specifically chicken wings, according to the study, your unborn male child is more likely to have a small penis.
	How does that explain the Japanese?
	Do they eat a lot of chicken?
	No, that's the point.
	I'm just telling you the news.
	Well, that's the war on chicken, I think.
	I think you might be right.
	I had to...
	I don't want to know.
	No, you do want to know.
	This is funny.
	Because we were trying to conceive Christina.
	And of course, at a certain point, you're going through tests and everything.
	And obviously, they checked my sperm.
	They're like, dude, you really got to lay off the weed, man.
	Your sperm's swimming backwards.
	Like, okay, so I stopped smoking weed for a day.
	So you had stone sperm.
	Stone sperm.
	Hey, man, which way?
	Which way?
	You go this way?
	Go towards the light.
	Oh, man, if I go towards...
	Oh, the wrong way, man.
	And so for weeks, I had to take a sample to the hospital.
	But I was on MTV, and I was living in Jersey, had to drive into New York.
	So I would have to get a sample in the jar, keep it under my armpit to keep it warm.
	And I had the MTV guy hair and the leather jacket and everything, and I'd have to go to the nurses and like, here it is.
	Guess what I just did?
	Hey, let's see if that jerk-off Curry's coming in again today.
	I think that you've now, by going back to the well on Fukushima and actually becoming an Obama bot, literally on the show...
	What?
	I'm fighting...
	And the other stuff, the other one you mentioned...
	What?
	It's like, I don't know what's happened.
	But wait a minute.
	I'm going back to the well saying that this is bull crap.
	Yeah, but it's like you're compounding your position on these things.
	It's just like, this is not the...
	Adam, we expect the flying saucers and the cars that run on water and some of these other crazy things.
	Wait a minute.
	I want the car on water.
	Back to that.
	No, I want my pickup truck to run on wood.
	That's what I want.
	You know, you could probably work that out.
	I mean, there was a lot of cars that were running on wood.
	You have to have a fireman in the back.
	So here it is.
	According to U.S. Army General, which is actually, he is Major General, Albert N. Stubblebine III retired.
	What does he know about it?
	Is he part of a committee studying it?
	Oh, I'm glad you asked.
	He has a website.
	Now I'm tracking these things back.
	I've got to find out where it came from.
	I'll play you his little clip.
	It's a video clip and they've edited it where it literally jump edits.
	Like boink, boink, boink.
	But listen to how it starts off.
	Ladies and gentlemen, be very afraid!
	We have alternative news for you!
	Mainstream media is covering this up!
	Very, very dire situation!
	Fukushima!
	Now you see big nuclear clouds on the screen.
	Listen to him.
	He's standing in his barn, I think, outside.
	This is the intro music.
	My name is Major General Albert and Stubblebine III.
	By the way, great name.
	If you add the third after anything, it's like, oh, man, he's been in this for a long time.
	This is the guy.
	Major General Albert N. Stubblebine III. This guy retired in 1984.
	I know.
	And he's also known for his interest in parapsychology.
	Don't blow it.
	He's a nutball.
	U.S. Army retired.
	I'm the president of the Natural Solutions Foundation.
	Don't go Googling yet.
	I am deeply worried about your health and the health of your family because of the Fukushima disaster.
	My specialty is intelligence.
	Ah, intel!
	I warned you of the dangers of the swine flu vaccine, and you stayed away in droves.
	Thank you for saving me.
	Yeah, jeez, I'm glad he's the one.
	He's the guy.
	I warned you of the dangers of GMOs, the genetically modified organisms.
	And now, today, there is a powerful movement.
	To get them out of our food supply.
	Thank you, General.
	Major General.
	Retired.
	And off of this planet.
	So while this is playing, John, go to...
	Well, wait a minute.
	I want to throw another little tidbit in here.
	No, no, no.
	Just go to his website first.
	Generalbert.com.
	Okay, hang on.
	B-E-R-T. Generalbert.com.
	Now I am warning you of the greatest danger to your health...
	And to the health of your family in human history and the four simple steps that you can take for your family and your health.
	The situation is frankly quite dire.
	Dire!
	And that's an underestimate.
	Underestimate!
	Fill in your email now so that I can send you my vital and life-saving estimate of the situation.
	It's free of charge.
	Free of charge.
	Thank you!
	Thank you!
	You're all going to die!
	Listen to me!
	Okay, so this is the guy that was the staring at goats guy.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	He was a proponent of psychic warfare when he was in there.
	This guy.
	He was involved in the U.S. military project to create a breed of super soldier, have the ability to become invisible and walk through walls.
	Stubblebine reportedly attempted to walk through walls himself without success.
	Whoops.
	I had asked the CIA to prepare a DVD.
	A DVD!
	Which would have specific instances of evidence.
	Evidence!
	Largely victims.
	And what we see means.
	what pinpointed eyes mean, what the convulsions mean, a number of aspects.
	And we received that this morning.
	And it's horrendous.
	That was quick.
	So we're having that DVD multiplied and we're going to get it out to every member of the Senate and possibly members of the House.
	What an idiot.
	Well, I was listening to Fox.
	I'm so sorry.
	So sorry to hear that.
	Yes.
	And Anthony Weiner was on.
	Wait a minute.
	Are you grabbing my clips of the day here?
	Are you trying to usurp me, Dvorak?
	What do you got?
	Uh, play it.
	Uh, well, I'm looking for your clip.
	No, no, it's your clip.
	Wait, you're actually going to get my clip?
	Yeah, yeah, I didn't figure I had to make the clip, because you had it.
	No, it wasn't Fox, it was MSNBC. Okay, yes, we've established those facts.
	What news are you breaking here?
	What I'm trying to get at, Anthony, is what drives you.
	In that case, ask me that question.
	Ask me that question.
	Lawrence, ask me that question then.
	Anthony, I mean it from a psychiatric level.
	I don't care about your political answers.
	I don't care about your political answers.
	Do an interview here.
	You are being driven by some kind of demons in some strange world.
	David, Lawrence, do you want to ask me a question?
	Or do you have me on a harangue with a split screen?
	This can't be good TV for anybody.
	All right, you know what, Anthony?
	We've got about 20 seconds left, so here's what I'd like to do.
	I would like you to stay.
	Give me ten of them.
	I'd like you to stay, if you will, and we'll continue this online, and you can say whatever you want.
	You're harangued online.
	Nobody watches the show.
	Who do you think is online?
	You can say whatever you want.
	All right, so I'm just going to stop it here, because the maniacal laugh was kind of the best part.
	But...
	Forget what he did.
	The maniacal laugh is kind of the giveaway.
	Let's play that little part again, because this is not a normal laugh.
	This is a maniacal laugh.
	You are being driven by some kind of demons in some strange directions.
	Lawrence, do you want to ask me a question, or do you have me on a harangue with a split screen?
	This can't be good TV for anybody.
	It is.
	It's great TV. Yeah, that's the laugh of a man at the end of his rope.
	Totally.
	Here is, and Leo is a known Obama bot, here is his dismay and disappointment and how he explains that in 15 seconds, which I'm very proud to have this.
	Only cynics knew what was going on.
	Correct.
	In some ways, this is what really pains me the most, is that the most cynical, conspiracy-minded people in this country have been proven right.
	And that bothers me, because I wanted to believe in the government.
	Fist bump, Leo.
	I think fist bump.
	I hope that we don't make a habit of this sort of thing, ridiculing these Obamabots.
	Here she comes, everybody.
	Bonjour!
	Thank you so much.
	Merci beaucoup.
	As you can tell, I do as I'm told.
	That's right.
	And who else follows rules?
	I'm a rule follower, right?
	What do you do?
	Are you a rule follower?
	Oh yes, of course.
	As long as you've set the stage.
	You're just trying to get me banned from the show.
	Benched.
	So I found this medley of...
	And we should maybe start the show with it, because it's kind of amusing.
	You have to...
	Oh, yeah.
	You know, it's funny.
	This, all of a sudden...
	I don't know where it appeared, but this thing...
	You can see where something goes viral.
	It just exploded into my mailbox.
	And I have the clip as well, of course.
	The problem with it is...
	There's no kind of a setup for any of his lines, and you'll miss a few of them because it's just popping them one after another.
	But there's a couple beauties in here you can't miss.
	All right, so you have to set it up so people know what the hell we're going to listen to.
	Yeah, this is Al Sharpton.
	He can't read from the teleprompter, and then he also can't pronounce words.
	To say the least.
	You put the two together and you get this.
	But resist, we much.
	We must.
	They're all jitty about a shutdown.
	The Tortoise in the race.
	The co-author of Hubris.
	YouTube lead singer Bono.
	Fran Drescher.
	Sigonoy Weaver.
	Suspect Jahar Sanaev Rush Limbaugh.
	Rush Limbaugh, Rush Limbaugh, the show Rush Lombard host, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Santamaya.
	Is Mike, is Mike, uh, muckering yesterday, Antonin, Antonin Scalia, Kim Kardashian, and the Republican candidates, both Cairo and Benghazi.
	We rank behind Latvija, uh, La Vita.
	First up, Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan to college students in Beijing.
	He's getting lunch at Chipotle in Iowa.
	Fame is appropriate.
	The GOP's tax day giveaway to millionaires.
	Why was traffic problems email sent?
	Environmental projection agency and what sequestration has done.
	Yeah, and at the very end, which is a visual gag, which you cut off as well, it's like he almost throws up on camera.
	Did you get that?
	Yeah, he did something.
	He had the hiccups or something.
	There's no real conflict!
	Yeah, they left that one out.
	Yeah, that's my favorite.
	And also, the ones I like the best, there are three of them, I like the, instead of saying Latvia, he says La Vita.
	Environmental Projection Agency.
	Environmental Projection Agency may be a top.
	And then the Chipolet.
	Well, Hubris is also kind of interesting.
	And then the Chief Justice, Sonia Sotomayor.
	What a douchebag!
	I'm gonna show myself old by donating to No Agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh yeah, that'd be fab.
	Yeah, on No Agenda.
	In the morning.
	Well, it is kind of hard to say, yeah, we're pretty damn funny, but I guess we take a little bit of credit.
	Yeah, I would think so.
	And we wanted to take this little break right here as a moment to thank the people who helped us for Show 822.
	But we have to do that on Sunday since this show is being done in advance.
	We'll have an extra long time.
	We want to mention that donations are still needed, even for this show.
	Dvorak.org slash NA. It should have a newsletter coming out shortly after this show is done.
	And we'll be back.
	You're going to be back from Paris on Sunday.
	Yes.
	So the idea is we go back tomorrow, Friday, and Friday evening, and we go straight to Schiphol Airport.
	There's a hotel, the Sheraton Hotel there, I think.
	We stay in the hotel, and then the next morning we hop on the plane and we fly back.
	So we'll be back around, I don't know, 7 or 8 p.m.
	Austin time.
	Start some prep.
	And then we'll do the show Sunday morning.
	We're going to get a lot of prep done.
	I'm at the overclip again.
	Well, maybe.
	You never know.
	It's always good.
	But, you know, the prep never really stops.
	I mean, people continue to send stuff, and that's always appreciated, not just the financial donations, but also, you know, like Sir Cyber, of course, helping us out with our day off, but also all of the information we receive here.
	We got some inside intel about the last show, which apologies that the unedited version went up.
	We just left it as it is for now.
	I mean, it makes no sense to go back and change it.
	It just messes up the feed and causes a lot of problems.
	But the problem was, at the Amsterdam Internet Exchange, known as the AM6, they had a router that, lo and behold, was rebooting every 20 to 40 minutes, and that's exactly what we were seeing.
	And that probably also messed up all the T-Mobile broadband provisioning.
	So there was an actual infrastructure problem.
	Of course, it happens on a Sunday, and in Europe, nobody likes to work on Sunday.
	Exactly.
	So it probably wasn't getting fixed like it should have been.
	It still isn't.
	Oh, man, I have to get up.
	Oh, dude, we can't start with all that.
	Still crashing?
	Anyway.
	Alright, so we have another, the second half here of Sir Cyber's No Agenda Funnies, and we'll be back at the end and we'll do a little wrap-up and we'll say goodbye.
	And, of course, a reminder that we will have our extra-long donation segment and executive and associate executive producer segment this coming Sunday.
	And remember us...
	And while you enjoy this wonderful, exciting episode, Propagate the Formula!
	Our formula is this...
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	MSNBC was live on the air when this happened.
	They, of course, brought in their top team, as usual, to report.
	Top men.
	Top men to report live on what was going on in Canada.
	Chloe, let me go to you first.
	What's the latest tonight in Iowa?
	Well, in Ottawa.
	Wait a minute.
	Can this guy say Iowa?
	He said Iowa.
	Oh, no.
	Listen to it again.
	This guy is so stupid.
	Can you play that again?
	It's a beauty.
	Chloe, let me go to you first.
	What's the latest tonight in Iowa?
	Okay.
	Well, in Ottawa.
	For the day.
	I think I need to play it one more time before I can award anything.
	How beautiful is that?
	I mean, this guy, he's made to give me Clip of the Day time and time again.
	Chloe, let me go to you first.
	What's the latest tonight in Iowa?
	Clip of the Day.
	Yeah.
	How does that happen?
	Do you think that someone...
	Talk to Chloe.
	Talk to Chloe.
	Talk to Chloe about what's going on in Ottawa.
	Iowa?
	Okay.
	Ottawa.
	It's like the commercial.
	Do you have fraud protection?
	Yeah, I have fraud protection.
	Isn't that guy great?
	It's unbelievable.
	And this is one of their stars at MSNBC. Top talent.
	Top talent.
	Making a million dollars plus?
	Making a million dollars plus?
	Oh, my favorite!
	Roll it back a little.
	Directed energy weapons.
	Yeah, that's my kind.
	Now you're talking my language.
	Because that's what melted the World Trade Center's.
	Directed energy weapon?
	Yeah, you should take a look at that stuff from above.
	Nice circles you burn there, boys.
	Future of warfighting.
	I believe that lasers, directed energy are going to be, in fact, game-changing.
	Hey, baby, I got some directed energy for you, my pants.
	Technologies.
	And we'll do a great deal, both in the present and the future, to make our warfighters even more effective than they are.
	I want to particularly highlight the Navy's efforts to move technologies like directed energy out of the labs and into...
	And into killing people!
	Good on you, boys!
	Yahoo!
	...the fields.
	I thank the Office of Naval Research and Admiral Colunder in particular for their time and attention and leadership in this area.
	Getting this game-changing technology in the hands of our nation's sailors to kill people will ultimately serve to realize the promise of this research investment.
	Which means dead people, cheaply, fry them, fry them like cockroaches!
	There's more.
	There's more.
	Wait, there's more.
	There's more.
	There's more.
	I like him a lot.
	I love this.
	This is game-changing technology.
	You can fry people.
	It's really cool.
	And to ensure that the Department of Defense's R&D enterprise is properly organized and resourced, and that it has the authorities required to produce the most bang for the buck.
	Or the most fry for the friggle, for the frank, if you know what I'm talking about.
	Zalangevin, I think is the name of the guy.
	But they went on.
	The clip I didn't get is that they're going to give a bunch of these experimental laser directed energy devices to Israel.
	Well, of course.
	Because we haven't been able to get enough field testing.
	That's the way I see it.
	You haven't seen a circumcision unless it's with a directed energy weapon, John.
	So...
	I cracked myself up on that one.
	Yeah, you're cracking yourself up.
	I'm feeling much better, can you tell?
	Yeah, you're kind of punchy.
	So have you ever been hooked up to a lie detector?
	I built one once.
	With a Radio Shack 101 projects in one.
	Yeah.
	Have you been hooked up to a lie detector?
	Yeah.
	When I was at the University of California, they used to have psychological studies that you could sign up for.
	You'd get $100 if you'd participate.
	Oh.
	And how'd you do?
	Did you pass?
	It's not like you pass or fail, but you get hooked up to a lie detector.
	I think, you know, you can't really...
	Here's the situation I ran into, which makes me think lie detectors tend to work.
	Yeah.
	It was a test that was apparently a test where they sat you down in a lie detector and then they showed you a movie, one of those shop class movies where the guy's sawing a piece of wood and then the wood catches onto the blade and gets flung across the room and goes right through some guy and then pins him to the wall and blood starts gushing out of his mouth.
	So I was told in advance And there was a second movie I had to watch, which was where these aborigines or some African tribe circumcised their kids, or their boys, only the boys were like 14, and they used a rock.
	What?
	They chase the kid down.
	It's a movie.
	It's around.
	Cool.
	They chase the kid down, they grab him, and then they take his pecker, and then they start pounding the end of it with a rock against another rock to circumcise him.
	Awesome.
	It's totally gross.
	So anyway.
	Wait a minute.
	Is this on Netflix?
	Yeah, I'm sure it is.
	So somebody says, you've got to take this thing just to see.
	These movies are unbelievable.
	But he told me about the movies in advance.
	So when they hooked me up to the lie detector, I was already anticipating.
	You were set up, of course.
	I was set up, and the lie detector, I was watching it because there's no reason to hide it.
	I was going nuts and I couldn't stop it.
	And the guy says, this is unusual.
	You know, why would you be doing this now?
	We haven't even shown you the movie.
	Well, hold on a second.
	You got a guy pounding the other guy's pecker with a rock.
	No, no.
	This was in anticipation.
	I was pinning the needles.
	I was anticipating this gruesome scene.
	So I was kind of tense.
	So it came through.
	Having experienced that, I'm pretty sure that if you had a real lie detector and you had somebody know what they're doing and you could sit down and meditate, I think you could control it.
	I think you could lie to these things.
	You know what?
	You and I should both have a lie to tell.
	We should have these wristbands, these Gates wristbands on during the show so that when we're lying, it would go, you know, it's like...
	Yeah.
	Bye, sweetie.
	Pecker, please bring me a soda!
	Okay, okay.
	Bye, Dad.
	It'll be too late, Pecker.
	This is, uh, yes, I know this one.
	I believe this to be Happy Days the Movie.
	You know, I've gone out of my way.
	This is a segment of the show that I believe is important because it has a little light levity.
	And you always fail to guess the name of the movies.
	I don't think you're taking it seriously.
	This time, I gave you every hint in the world.
	That it must be called Pecker or something.
	Exactly.
	It's Pecker.
	The movie is called Pecker.
	You can look it up.
	I've never heard of this movie.
	Yes, it was on Epix the other day.
	I've never heard of this movie.
	And now it's time for another episode of Guess That.
	It's interesting you bring that up because I felt that I really did need to brush up on some of my movie skills.
	And there's a number of movies.
	I realize I really suck at this.
	I'll give you a chance to redeem yourself.
	We're going to start over?
	No, you're going to.
	You're in the studio.
	You're going to toss it to me.
	I'm outside on location.
	Ready?
	Ready?
	And with the weather, we've got Adam Curry out there on the street.
	Adam.
	John, thank you very much.
	Yes, as you can see, we've got the wind machine and thunder snow here.
	I'm in 18 feet of snow.
	I'm standing here with a family of 33 undocumented immigrants.
	And on behalf of the No Agenda Show, I want you to know we have notified our lawyers.
	We have canceled all contracts and projects with Bill Cosby.
	Back to you in the studio, John.
	Thank you, Adam.
	Be well.
	Be safe, I think.
	Be safe, right.
	So I just encapsulated the entire news.
	That's pretty much it.
	In 25 seconds.
	That is exactly what's going on.
	And apparently Bill Cosby is now running the kids through Guatemala.
	What a bastard.
	Who else is full of crap and has literally crapped in the White House?
	Al Roker.
	Listen to this news.
	Hey, thanks so much, guys.
	These folks from Moore, Oklahoma, they survived that EF5, and there could be more bad weather like that.
	Take a look at this.
	I will say he actually said EF5. I'll give him that one.
	He did put the E in front, but now...
	Kansas, this is Kansas, Smith Center, Kansas.
	Let's go to the video of this storm, and you can see this EF3 tornado.
	It was captured by two guys, Sean Casey and Brandon Ivey.
	They have a special vehicle that actually went over and it actually hunkers down.
	It weighs 16,000 tons.
	They were able to survive this.
	Don't try this at home by any way.
	16,000 tons, really?
	I don't think that's right.
	Like 3 million pounds, Al?
	16...
	Oh, okay.
	Now, my...
	16,000 tons.
	What do you get?
	Another day older and deeper and deeper.
	Perfect.
	Now, I just want the audience to know that at no point did you or I have any conversation about what I was going to discuss or what you were going to discuss.
	This is pure coincidence.
	No, we do this routinely because we're essentially...
	It's just why the show is so good.
	We're two hearts beating as one.
	No, anything but that.
	Sorry.
	Okay.
	But here's another favorite.
	You also need an assessment that capture is not feasible at the time of the operation.
	Oh, well they can do that.
	Okay, here's the deal.
	So you get a la waka waka.
	Let me try it.
	Let me try it.
	Let me try it on you.
	Major John Dvorak, have you assessed if we can capture this a la waka dude?
	Do we have him on the drone monitor?
	Yes, and?
	Are there any nearby soldiers right by him at the moment?
	I'm pretty sure there aren't.
	Fire.
	Wait, you have to assess the capture.
	I did.
	Technical Malfunction!
	Gloria Allred is always there when there's money to be made.
	Although I think she's pretty real.
	She represents women.
	But whenever there's a book deal or a movie deal or something, she's always right on it.
	And she did a press conference with this woman, and she said something that cracked me up.
	Remember, the whole reason for this press conference is she wanted to make sure that her client was not represented as a cannibal as well.
	Anka and I are very concerned about the issue of cannibalism and the number of cases that are being reported in other states and countries, such as Alabama, Canada, Maryland, Japan, and Sweden.
	Wow, I had no idea cannibalism was so rampant, John.
	It's crazy.
	Now let's talk about cannibalism with Gloria Allred.
	Jokes are being made about this issue on late night television.
	This is horrible.
	You can't joke about cannibalism.
	For example, last night Adam Sandler did a comic bit about it on Jimmy Kimmel.
	But cannibalism is a serious issue and is very dangerous to the health and well-being of both the cannibal and the victim.
	It just cracked me up.
	It's very dangerous to you if your face is being eaten off.
	That sure appears to be the case.
	It's very dangerous to the victim.
	Duh!
	Duh!
	The gruesome face-eating attack in Miami could be part of a trend.
	It's a trend, John.
	It's a trend?
	It's a trend.
	This one story is all of a sudden is a trend.
	What evidence is there for this?
	What are you going to do after the show, John?
	I'm going to go bite face.
	Yeah, man.
	I'm going to bite me some face, too.
	Yeah, I hear all the cool kids are doing it.
	It's a trend.
	It's the real news outfit.
	This guy's great.
	But as it begins to catch on, officials are racing to learn more.
	Yeah.
	What's your name?
	I don't know.
	What?
	So they have some YouTube clips of kids who are on bath salt.
	This is great.
	Officials are racing to learn more.
	What's your name?
	I'm on bath salt.
	This is the effect of so-called bath salts.
	So is this.
	And this.
	Benign by name, deadly by nature.
	Donating on bath salts.
	I can't hear that voice.
	So I think this is your first donation from someone lifted on that.
	John, please read this in your best bath salts voice.
	I have.
	Oh!
	This is probably another annoying donation due to Adam's tweet appearance on 520.
	I heard the name Curry.
	I made the MTV connection.
	I was impressed with your presence and knowledge and that it was.
	You had me at Facebook is overvalued.
	I checked up on you on a resource that would learn you effectively call the book of knowledge and made the obvious connect.
	Wikipedia mentioned you claim to be bi-curious.
	I did some further research and there was someone named Mickey.
	Could it be?
	Did Adam's bi-curiosity just migrate to bi-curiosity?
	I learned otherwise.
	That's a good bath salt voice.
	It's the only thing I got.
	I like it.
	It's kind of Adderall-y.
	Yeah.
	That's nice.
	Well, cool.
	Anyway.
	Oh, you got a song stuck in your head?
	Master of the house, doling out the charm.
	Ready with a handshake and an open palm.
	I want everyone to have that.
	That's horrible, horrible.
	No, you won't get that stuck in anyone's head.
	Yes, yes.
	So it's not going to have enough of a tune.
	Oh, it's Master of the House.
	Master of the house, doling out the charm.
	Ready with a handshake and an open palm.
	Tell us a saucy tale.
	Arm.
	Man, and it's like, and I'll be, and now Mickey is now like reminding me of the song every five minutes.
	Just when I'd gotten rid of it.
	It's a horrible song.
	Well, you're the master of the house.
	Yes, doling out the charm.
	This is on MSNBC. They're interviewing a somewhat sore loser.
	Volunteered for Barrett, voted today.
	You say you're very disappointed.
	A lot of folks here outside the Capitol sharing your opinion tonight.
	We're not just disappointed.
	This is the end of democracy.
	We just got outspent $34 million to $4 million.
	This was the biggest election in America, and I hope you keep me on tonight, because this hurts us all.
	Every single one of you out there in the nation, if you're watching, democracy died tonight.
	You're very emotional.
	I'm very emotional, because we all had a lot invested in this.
	This was it.
	If we didn't win tonight, the end of the USA is we know it.
	Just happened.
	That's it.
	We just got outspent $34 million to $4 million.
	And we don't have any other resource left but the people you see here behind me.
	And if the people you see here behind me can't get it done tonight, it's done.
	Democracy's dead.
	By the way, that's a bogus 34 to 4.
	This would be, you know, a lot of times when a lot of parents have kids that like to wander off, and when you go to the airport, it's kind of frightening.
	I love it when they have the kids on a leash.
	I've done that.
	No, no.
	With which one?
	Actually, with Jay, we had her on a leash for a while.
	I am so against that!
	That is so wrong!
	There's a bunch of people that use this.
	It works great!
	The worst thing is to have the kid running, because these kids like to take off like a rocket.
	Do you have a Zimmer frame?
	What's wrong with you, man?
	Hold on to the kid's hand.
	I am so against this.
	Whenever I see that, I give these parents scouring looks.
	That's not okay.
	Put your kid on a leash.
	You had one kid.
	So?
	So my kid wandered off.
	I kept my eye on her.
	Put your kid on a leash.
	What do you do?
	Did you have a little shocker for when they left the yard?
	Yeah, absolutely.
	This is outrageous!
	Of all people, you homeschool your kids, yet you put them on a leash.
	I don't know, man.
	It's a dichotomy.
	They're little kids.
	They don't mind.
	They don't care.
	So anyway, yeah.
	No, they grow up, interestingly.
	I'm not going to say anything about your kids because I love them.
	And it turned out fine, obviously.
	So apparently, in your case, there was no negative effects.
	But it's weird.
	You don't say it was more popular about 10, 15 years ago than it is today because of people like you.
	Bigots.
	Anti-leash bigots.
	Yeah, that's right.
	I just blew my second-hand marijuana smoke in her face so she would calm down.
	Worked like a charm.
	I never put it on a leash, though.
	Let me tell you that.
	So anyway, this seems like something for me.
	At the airport, this might come in handy.
	Or the store.
	One of the things my wife pointed out.
	Did you yank him back?
	Like a yank, that little tug?
	So they could teach him?
	They just get to the end of the leash and they just stop moving.
	It's not a choke chain.
	Was it one of those with like a...
	The kid in a choke chain.
	Did you have a reel on it so you could let him walk a little bit and then reel him back in?
	Is that one of those real dog things?
	Maybe.
	I don't know.
	Did you carry a plastic bag around to clean up after them?
	Did you carry a plastic bag to pick up their poop?
	Alright, I'm done.
	You had some good material there.
	Not commercial, but it was acceptable.
	Open mic.
	It's open mic night here on No Agenda, everybody.
	I'll be here all week.
	So what happened, you know, Toys R Us has had, besides the fact that the kids don't want toys anymore, they want video games.
	But somebody came into Toys R Us some years ago, because we remember shopping.
	Toys R Us used to be a kind of a warehouse-style toy store with these long aisles.
	And so some bonehead that obviously never had kids in their lives decided to redesign Toys R Us.
	So there's all these offset little cubbyholes in aisles.
	Oh, nooks.
	It was like a maze.
	And so if your kid took one left turn, you would spend an hour trying to figure out where they went because you couldn't just go up and down the aisles seeing who was there.
	Right, they'd be hiding in the nook.
	There's nooks.
	And so these idiots at Toys R Us put this crazy system together.
	This I Seek a Family Pack would be great in a Toys R Us if it works.
	Anyway.
	Whatever.
	Whatever.
	I'm still on the leash.
	When you listen to the story in depth and you listen to everything that's said, just a short little snippet, you have to really wonder what is wrong with the leaders of this world today.
	Thank you.
	You ready?
	Hit it.
	After a recent Sunday lunch, British Prime Minister David Cameron realizing he left something behind at the pub.
	His eight-year-old daughter.
	He says he thought the child was with his wife.
	Presumably, so did the British security detail.
	When they discovered the mistake, they sped back to the bar only to find little Nancy helping out the waitstaff.
	10 Downing Street says it was about a 15-minute absence.
	But it is particularly bad timing.
	Today, the government here launches a program to improve Responsible parenting.
	The Secret Service that was his detail didn't even notice this?
	Where's the football?
	I don't know, man.
	I thought you had the football.
	What kind of idiots?
	I mean, would anybody even vote for this guy?
	He brings his daughter, thinks he's got the daughter, apparently he doesn't give a crap about her.
	So he's got her in tow, and then he just wanders off, yakking to one of his buddies with the Secret Service guys all plastered looking at hookers, I guess.
	And they leave the little girl at the bar for 15 minutes before they figure out what happened, and then he blames his wife?
	Of course.
	Oh, I thought she had the baby.
	Yeah, what can I say?
	And none of the news media, nobody picks up on this.
	This is scandalous as far as I'm concerned.
	How can you leave your kid?
	Well, the reason why you never lost a kid is because you had him on a leash.
	Well, the work...
	The least was, of course, I mean, the kids will run off, but we wouldn't leave.
	I mean, how could anybody leave a kid?
	It's unbelievable to me.
	And then the Secret Service, or whatever they call them, there's a different name, are just like, oh, well, you know, they're not paying any attention.
	No, that makes me feel secure.
	Yeah.
	This is your government at work.
	Dogs have this unbelievable 100,000 times or 10,000, some huge amount of relationship to what we can smell, what they can smell.
	They smell everything.
	They can smell direction.
	And so when they stick their head out the window, it's like an acid trip for them.
	Because they're getting all these aromas from all...
	The car's zooming by.
	And that's why, if you notice, they're always sniffing at the air.
	The dog's getting high.
	He's getting high.
	They're getting wasted on all these really crazy smells.
	And this is the other thing I've noticed.
	I believe this would be true, too.
	You ever notice how dogs go after a mailman, but usually the UPS guy coming up the steps, the dog will...
	Go after the door and they'll, you know, they just go nuts.
	They bark crazy because to a dog, because of their nose, that UPS guy doesn't represent some person coming up to steps.
	The UPS guy represents thousands of people because of all the smells in the truck and he's handling all these packages.
	The dog thinks there's like a whole army of zombies outside.
	He thinks an army is coming up to steps and the dog goes crazy.
	I like the thought of my dog just getting wasted.
	Hey boss, let me put my head out.
	No wonder they have such a goofy look on their faces when they do that.
	They're hammered.
	Hey John, just smoked a joint.
	Come on, do the voice now.
	Do the voice.
	Hey John, Adam.
	I just smoked a joint.
	Figured I'd make a stone donation.
	I've been a listener since show one.
	I've donated before.
	But it's been a while.
	And I felt myself turning back into a boner.
	Could you de-douche me and give me a war on chicken?
	Huntsman karma?
	That'd be great.
	There's this woman that came on the PBS NewsHour, and unfortunately the NewsHour ball-less wonders that they are wouldn't really go after her for not answering any questions whatsoever.
	She's Lisa Monaco, and you can look her up, and she just looks like a...
	No.
	She looks like a person that couldn't get a date if she wanted to, because she's grim.
	No, no, no.
	I'm not going to agree with you.
	Oh, you have to see her on video.
	It's different.
	She's more photogenic than when you see her actually moving.
	There's a brewerreport.com has a very flattering picture of her.
	Well, she's not flattering, especially after you listen to her talk.
	Wow, I love the one with her in the bra.
	What?
	No, it's not her.
	I'm sorry.
	It's got a poor name.
	She has a poor name.
	Yeah.
	Visa Monaco.
	Yeah.
	Here comes Raven.
	Give it up for Raven.
	John, are you making it rain again?
	Someone's getting corn-holed today.
	Sounds like a recipe for success to me.
	John, you actually just did a strip bar announcement, didn't you?
	Yeah.
	Do it again.
	I know guys who do that job.
	I've done it.
	When I was 16, I did it.
	In Amsterdam.
	Do it and I'll play the clip.
	Well, no, because it doesn't lead into the clip properly.
	I like to get these things out in an ad lib fashion.
	Well, you have to do your welcome to the stage when someone makes it rain.
	Everybody give it up for Amber!
	No, you already did Amber.
	Raven!
	Raven!
	How do you know these things?
	Straight from Reseda, here she is, Raven!
	Give it up!
	Up next, Bambi!
	Bambi to the stage!
	Bambi to the stage!
	Wow, you do know it.
	Okay, I'll do Raven, then we'll come back to you.
	Straight from Reseda, here she is, Raven!
	Give it up!
	All right, John, go!
	Ladies and gentlemen, a big round of applause for that petite, hot bombshell.
	Janine, as she comes off the stage, find her in the private dance rooms where you can live like a king with lap dances on sale.
	That's for your discount coupon and free private dance card.
	Available at the bar.
	Buy ten dances, get one free.
	Now to the main stage is Sharona.
	She likes dirt bikes, dirty dancing, dirty boys, and Star Trek.
	As Sulu would say, oh my Sharona!
	Give it up to Sharona!
	Shirley and Donna will be doing a lesbian act on stage two.
	Bring them up.
	Bring them up.
	Shirley and Donna, these two hotties can be seen at the club on Wednesday Mud Wrestling.
	Get a lap dance today and the girls will give you a voucher for free entrance.
	Is that it?
	And we had someone forget his wallet in the champagne room?
	Who was it?
	I forget who it was.
	That's the ladies and gentlemen.
	Wallet found.
	Wow.
	You lost your wallet in the champagne room.
	Please go return.
	Truly, truly, truly pathetic.
	I'm donating drunk after hearing my brother call me a douchebag on a Wednesday show.
	The only place I could find any comfort after listening to the show was at the bottom of a bottle of vodka.
	Please de-douche me for the donation and say hello to my beautiful girlfriend, Sarah, who is beautiful and who has to live with me being a douchebag since Wednesday.
	Although she says she's had to put up with it for years.
	You guys do amazing work to keep Adam's hair like that.
	The show is good, too.
	So he needs a...
	You've been de-douched.
	I have to say that we do a lot of work on my hair.
	That's for sure.
	Okay, here we go.
	Once again, reassured by completed other skepticism of all things Ministry of Truth, derp.
	As of lately, I want to thank you both for the best...
	Podcast in the multiverse.
	I wanted to give karma a shout to my two particular slaves named Will Rudder and Garrick Penn.
	The latter for telling me about no agenda.
	Now a donor, not a boner.
	Slaves, XP. You've got karma.
	John, I just gotta say, I love you, man.
	I love you.
	I love you, man.
	They had an orgy on a sub?
	Yeah, there was four guys and one girl were thrown in the brig because they had an orgy.
	Ha, ha, ha.
	Yay!
	In the Navy!
	I want to go now.
	Sounds good.
	Sounds good, people.
	Yeah!
	That's a recruiting job right there.
	We need more waves.
	Heterosexual orgies.
	Yes.
	Very, very nice.
	Very nice.
	They got caught.
	I think someone...
	I don't know.
	Somebody ratted him out.
	Oh, no, no, no.
	I think it was on...
	There's something that was on video.
	There was some...
	Oh, some idiot filmed it on their...
	Some douchebag ruined it for everybody.
	Yeah, because he wanted to show his buddies.
	Dude, she was so awesome, you douche.
	Look at what Audrey's doing.
	Yeah, she's pulling a train.
	I haven't actually heard you say that ever.
	41.30.
	Audrey.
	And why Audrey?
	Why is Audrey pulling the train?
	Oh, that actually hurt my side.
	Oh, man.
	Damn.
	It's like, you know, like a donkey punch almost.
	Donkey punch?
	Do you know what a donkey punch is?
	Do you know what that is?
	Mmm, John.
	Just Google donkey punch, my friend.
	Okay, look at donkey punch.
	The chat room's going like, oh jeez.
	Sexual practice known as the during donkey style sex, especially anal.
	The practice involves punching the part in the back of the head.
	Oh please.
	That's exactly how I feel.
	I got darn donkey punched.
	Yeah.
	Can't believe you and Mimi haven't tried that one out.
	As Adam said, There's nothing funnier than making you say stuff in Dutch.
	That, you know, you're Dutch.
	When you go to Holland, you're getting laid so bad, my friend.
	Just say that.
	What you just said there was great.
	You know, he sends in this donation just to hear you...
	What's that?
	It's Martijn van Galenlast.
	Yeah, Martijn.
	Van Galenlast.
	Van Halenlast.
	Van Halenlast.
	Galen.
	Galen.
	Benedeleeuwen.
	Ja.
	Geert van Trijp.
	Geert van Trijp.
	Trijp.
	Trijp.
	Forget it.
	Geert van Trijp.
	Geert van Trijp.
	Get it together, man.
	Yeah, there you go.
	Nailed it.
	Yeah, I nailed it.
	Oh yeah, awesome.
	I nailed it.
	Jeroen van Aar.
	Uh, okay.
	Let's try Jeroen.
	Jeroen van Aar.
	Don't be a dick.
	Just don't.
	Jeroen.
	Jeroen.
	There you go.
	Van Aar.
	Van Aar.
	From Schaik.
	Schaik.
	Schaik.
	No.
	Schaik.
	Close enough.
	Jaren Huntinga.
	Jeroen Huntinga.
	Just don't make fun of it.
	Just try to do it.
	Huntinga.
	Huntinga.
	There's no N. You're putting an N where there is none.
	Huntinga.
	Huttingha.
	I can't get the N in there.
	There's an N in there.
	But you're putting the N before the T. It's Huttingha.
	Huttingha.
	Oh, I see what you're saying.
	Okay.
	You're right.
	In Weningen.
	Wageningen.
	Yeah, okay.
	207.
	Thank you, Jeroen.
	The head of the Eurogroup of Finance Ministers, Jeroen Dijsselbloem, said a new bailout...
	She's worse than you are!
	The guy's name is Jeroen Dijsselbloem.
	Now, repeat after me.
	Jeroen Dijsselbloem.
	Jeroen Dijsselbloem.
	The head of the Eurogroup of Finance Ministers, Jeroen Dijsselbloem, said...
	Dijsselbloem!
	Oh, I like that.
	What a dick.
	Epic fail.
	Jeroen Geiselblum.
	Say it again, Johnny.
	You can do it better than Amy Goodman.
	Jeroen Geiselblum.
	For a new financial lifeline, the head of the Eurogroup of finance ministers, Jeroen Geiselblum, said a new bailout program could be negotiated, but only if the Greek government backs down from its rejection of austerity demands.
	Very nice of Jeroen Geiselblum.
	Unfortunately for her, that's a total...
	Epic fail.
	But here is, on CNN, another epic fail.
	Just to give you an idea of the level of understanding of technology, I guess what happened here is the one lady who got through and was able to register, and I don't even know if she actually...
	Is that the one lady?
	There was one in Ohio, apparently, who just got through the other day.
	The one with Obama, the one who was in the Rose Garden, and she was the one.
	So the way she got through, apparently it took her like four hours and she had to clean her cash and her cookies.
	In order to create...
	Oh, that's a good one.
	But here's how it comes across on CNN. It took her seven hours, on the phone and online.
	Eventually she had to go through and clean out all the cookies from her cachet.
	And then she was able to sign up.
	Her cachet?
	Clip of the day already.
	Really?
	I get it now?
	Oh my god, I wasn't prepared for that.
	Hold on a second.
	Clip of the day.
	I mean, seriously.
	This is what passes for news.
	She had to clean out her cachet.
	You know, maybe she did have to clean out her cachet.
	Maybe her cachet was the problem to start with.
	You know, hey lady, your attitude is not right.
	Let's work on that cachet.
	Cachet.
	Wow.
	What do you think?
	We need a mascot.
	Oh, a mascot.
	A mascot.
	That's always got the kids.
	The kids love the mascots.
	They love a mascot.
	A giant chicken.
	Well, you can wait for it, people.
	So what we're trying to accomplish is this.
	About 80% of the threat, roughly, is something that the private sector can absolutely handle.
	We can handle through education.
	You know, the Freddy the Firewall PSA is coming to you real soon about how you can protect your own network.
	Yeah.
	I can't wait.
	You're on a roll today.
	Freddy the Firewall.
	Hey, kids, it's Freddy the Firewall.
	Do you want to keep bad Russians, I mean people from countries with letters that start with R, out of your computer?
	Well, you don't have a computer because you only have an iPad.
	You can't actually learn how to do anything on it.
	But Freddy's going to protect you.
	It's Freddy the Firewall.
	Hey, I think you found your voiceover gig.
	Hey!
	Hey, kids!
	You can't watch porn!
	It can't get in because Freddy the Firewall is protecting you!
	Oh!
	Oh, no!
	You can't download the podcast from the No Agenda show!
	Freddy the Firewall protecting you!
	I think you're right.
	I got one.
	I nailed it.
	I should do all of them.
	You nailed it!
	I got it.
	I got it.
	You should do a bunch of PSAs.
	I need scripts.
	Run them on the show.
	I need scripts.
	Oh, I can write you scripts.
	Write me some scripts.
	Hey, kids, it's Freddy the Firewall!
	Yeah, I think I can replicate it.
	It's Freddy the Firewall!
	Look at my voice!
	Yeah, I think you can nail that over and over.
	It's because it's a voice that you...
	Well, you don't commonly do that voice ever.
	I've never...
	It's brand new, invented right here.
	You can do that.
	I think now you can just jump to it.
	Okay, ready?
	Freddy the Firewall!
	I'm plugging all the holes!
	I like the cracking part, too, in the voice.
	That's good.
	But in the firewall, it says, plug your holes, kids!
	Plug your ports!
	What do I see there, little Tina?
	Do you have an open port?
	Maybe the firewall won't be happy!
	Okay.
	Hey, let me say this.
	In the morning to you, John C. Devorak!
	Whenever SpaceX does something, it's like this is, everyone's all, oh, it's Elon, SpaceX!
	They're going to the International Space Station!
	Oh, they're launching SpaceX!
	Countdown, we're going!
	Little techie fanboys and script kitties are like, oh, it's so cool!
	Elon Musk has shot a rocket into space!
	Morons, look at what's really going on here.
	Oh, he's cool.
	He's so awesome.
	He's awesome.
	He's Tony Stark.
	This is from a father, as in a religious father, and I'm not sure if I can mention his name, so I won't.
	Hey, in the morning, Adam, here's another story about training drills at schools with a little different spin.
	I'm the pastor of a small parochial school in a town of about 10,000 people.
	After Sandy Hook, because parents and staff were freaking out about school safety, we called the local police department to send a liaison to do a walkthrough of our facility.
	After the walkthrough, the liaison recommended that we invite the county's tactical response team, their version of SWAT, to provide training for our staff.
	Ah!
	This is great stuff, by the way.
	This is fantastic.
	During a teacher in-service day when there were no students at the school, the TRT, the Tactical Response Team, came to train our teachers.
	While I was expecting a morning of being told to hide in the corner of a classroom if an armed assailant entered the school, it was a bit of a surprise when we learned that the TRT wasn't there to train the school staff.
	No, they were there to run drills themselves.
	They had 9mm Glocks and AR-15s set up to shoot paint-filled gas cartridges at each other.
	They were happy to have the floor plan of our school to add to their database and spent the morning shooting at each other and the walls and the hallways of the school with paintballs.
	The three scenarios that they set up were a random bad guy taking a class hostage, an angry parent taking a class hostage, and a human bomber-like lookalike wearing an IED... Again, taking a class hostage.
	It seems that the proper response to each threat was to scream at the assailant and then light him up with paintballs.
	Father, you're great.
	Except the IED-wearing perpetrator.
	Once the IED was identified, which in this case was a piece of cardboard with the word BOM written on it taped to his chest, they were just supposed to shoot him until he dropped.
	The best part was when they asked if I wanted to run through the scenarios.
	Not wanting to miss the opportunity to shoot off-duty police officers with paintballs, I gladly accepted.
	Yes, a man of the cloth.
	When the training was over, the officers swept up the empty gas cartridges and did their best to wash up the paint-filled walls.
	The next day, when the students were back in class, they discovered a few random paint splatters that were missed in the cleanup.
	When one of the students asked their teacher about the splatter, what else could she say other than, the paint is there to keep you safe?
	I will say, because this is a small town, I know a few of the officers and they're good guys.
	It's just unfortunate law enforcement training has turned into combat training, a fact you and John talk about regularly and hopefully is appreciated by your listeners.
	Yeah, the militarization of the local police.
	One little paragraph in the email that I just thought I had to share with you.
	Share it.
	Share.
	All right.
	I hung out with you and JCD hard a few nights this summer in my dreams.
	That's recent.
	It was good fun.
	Let me finish.
	Let me finish.
	Hold on a second.
	I'm telling you, when I read this, just that line alone to me was like, that's very weirdly sexual.
	Okay.
	I hung out with you and JCD hard a few nights this summer in my dreams.
	It was good fun.
	A fire truck full of hot chicks drove by us as we were all in a car together.
	The two of you were doing the show live as we were cruising around.
	They were listening to the show live and were freaking out as they realized who it was they were just passing.
	It was hilarious.
	If you have any dreams like that, please send them to me.
	This is the story of the day.
	Hold on a second.
	Oreos are just as addictive as cocaine.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	That's the jingle version.
	Here's the full sound bite.
	Oreos are just as addictive as cocaine.
	That's according to a study from Connecticut College.
	Researchers found that eating Oreos activated more neurons in the pleasure center of rats' brains than exposure to cocaine.
	In the pleasure center.
	What is she thinking of her own pleasure center when she's doing this read?
	In the pleasure center.
	Or morphine.
	Are you trying to get a job in Hollywood with this act?
	I don't know, man.
	That's Like most humans, rats like to eat the Oreo cookies creamy middle first.
	Oh, man.
	Oh, man.
	Yeah, can you believe that you just read that?
	Yeah, you did.
	You really did.
	Sorry to say.
	Yeah, that's...
	Are you there?
	Because you've been cutting out a little bit.
	No, I didn't think so.
	I have a feeling we've got to check.
	Bullcrap.
	Clip of the day.
	Oh, thank you.
	Well, the question is, is it the long clip or the short clip that is the clip of the day?
	Yeah, the part about eating the middle part, that's the clip of the day.
	This is bullcrap.
	Clip of the day.
	Oreos are just as addictive as cocaine.
	I love how she says it.
	Yeah, I know.
	She's got a lot of enthusiasm.
	She's like, yeah, I'm really enthusiastic about the cocaine business.
	She's obviously got something going on.
	Carol, CNN. Speaking to CNN, Secretary of State John Kerry defended the prisoner exchange.
	It would have been offensive and incomprehensible to consciously leave an American behind, no matter what, to leave an American behind in the hands of people who would torture him, cut off his head, any number of things, and we would consciously choose to do that.
	That's the other side of this equation.
	Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
	Now, are you just trying to mess with me?
	Or are you just trying to go straight for the jugular?
	I mean, without a doubt, today, right off the bat, you get it.
	I mean, no doubt about it.
	Are you kidding me?
	What is wrong with this man?
	When I heard that, when he says, you know, you can't even come over there to torture him and then cut off his head.
	And then it was more stuff after cut off his head, which makes it even funnier.
	What do you do?
	Anyway, the reason I thought that clip was hilarious, and when you really listen to it, it actually says that he had his head cut off.
	It's not like he's going to have his head cut off.
	Mokhtar, our buddy there.
	Oh yeah, Mokhtar, Mokhtar.
	Yeah, of the Marlboro Man.
	Yeah, yeah, that guy.
	Isn't he dead?
	Yeah, he's dead, but I think it was the telegraph.
	So they somehow magically found a letter from Al-Qaeda Central.
	Sent to him.
	The right Al-Qaeda letterhead?
	Yes.
	The Al-Qaeda letter found by the Associated Press inside a building formerly occupied by their fighters in Mali.
	Now you remember that we played all the video of the Mali.
	They found like an AK-47 and three bullets.
	This was the big terror threat in Mali.
	Yeah.
	This letter that the Associated Press found...
	Is an intimate window into the...
	They just found it?
	Yes, just like, oh, what's this?
	Why, it's a letter.
	What does it say?
	It wants a glimpse into the inner workings of a highly structured terrorist organization that requires its commanders to file monthly expense reports.
	Oh!
	What, are you kidding me?
	No, I'm not.
	Expense reports?
	Yeah, listen.
	And they were mad at him because he didn't file his expense reports on time.
	What, does he work for a dot-com?
	I'm telling you!
	This is unbelievable.
	I wish you had a clip of that, because that's a clip of the day.
	The letter signed by the group's 14-member Shura Council, or governing body, describes its relationship with Belmokhtar as a bleeding wound and criticizes his proposal to resign and start his own group.
	I'm going to start my own group, okay?
	I don't need you and your damn expensive parts.
	Hello?
	Did you get your budget in?
	We're not going to be blowing anything up for the next month until all the budgets are in.
	No, there was 30 bullet points in this letter.
	First and foremost, they quibble over the amount of money raised by the 2008 kidnapping of Canadian diplomat Robert Fowler, the highest-ranking UN official in Niger, and his colleague, Beaumont. the highest-ranking UN official in Niger, and his colleague, Beaumont.
	Balmokhtar's men held both for four months, and in a book he later published, Fowler said he did not know if a ransom was paid.
	The letter reveals Al-Qaeda wanted to use the kidnapping to force concessions in the U.S.-led war in Afghanistan, but the plan was stymied when Bill Mukhtar struck his own deal for about $900,000 for both men, far below the $3 million per hostage that the European governments were normally paying.
	What is this?
	What?
	I know!
	Is this crazy?
	This is a business they're running.
	No wonder they have action items in a memo.
	Yeah!
	What's our budget?
	Looks like we're getting about $9 million this month.
	We're going to do $100 million for the year.
	What's our delta?
	Oh, man.
	What's the delta on our revs?
	I'd like to meet the chief revenue officer for Al-Qaeda, please.
	This is nuts.
	And I really have to believe this.
	Do you think it's true?
	Well, I know that we've actually discussed this before and I know there's been clips that have come and gone that indicate that they were running a business which was a hostage for money business.
	So you'd steal some diplomat and you'd get a check to give him back and that's what people would do over and over again and I didn't.
	I don't know what the payouts were, but it's $3 million a pop.
	But from the EU, that's pretty good money for a week's work.
	I've got to read you some more.
	The list of slights is long.
	He would not take management's phone calls.
	Refused to send administrative and financial reports.
	And you get those TPS reports, Bill Mokhtar.
	He ignored a meeting in Tumbuktu.
	Ha ha ha.
	Screw that meeting in Timbuktu.
	I'm not going.
	Tell them to pound sand.
	Calling it useless.
	He even ordered his men to refuse to meet with al-Qaeda emissaries.
	And he aired the organization's dirty laundry in online jihadist forums, even while refusing to communicate with the chapter via the...
	I hate the COO. Sounding like managers in any company, the Shura leaders accused Belmokhtar of not being able to get along with his peers.
	They charge that he recently went to Libya without permission from the chapter, which had assigned the Libya dossier to a rival commander called Abu Zaid.
	And they complain that the last unit they sent Belmokhtar for backup in the Sahara spent a full three years just trying to contact him before giving up.
	That is just too funny.
	The sharpest blow in the council's letter may have been the accusation that despite this history of terrorism, Belmokhtar and his unit had not pulled off any attack worthy of mention in the Sahara desert.
	Quote, Any observer of the armed actions carried out in the Sahara will clearly notice the failure of the mass brigade to carry out spectacular operations, despite the region's vast possibilities.
	There are plenty of Mujahideen, funding is available, weapons are widespread, and strategic targets are within reach.
	Your brigade did not achieve a single spectacular operation targeting the Crusader Alliance.
	You, my friend, are demoted.
	Isn't that nuts?
	It's totally nuts.
	Huh.
	I wonder where that note came from in reality.
	I'm sure nobody stumbled upon it.
	Well, that's what they say.
	They say that the Associated Press found it inside a building in Mali.
	Well, it's not completely unbelievable that a note like that existed.
	So there is the...
	It's a translation, of course, but it is from the AP. It's in the show notes.
	PDF. And it's a translation of what they say is the note.
	Funny, isn't it?
	So, on one hand...
	It kind of...
	You can't segue out of this piece.
	No, but...
	I can't...
	I know.
	I, too, am just baffled.
	It's too ridiculous.
	I, too, am just baffled.
	But if you read the whole letter, and how many pages...
	It's pages and pages...
	I mean, I've seen some letters in my time where people are pissed off, and you've got to fire someone, or you're not doing a good job.
	But this just blows everything away.
	I was just not doing his job.
	Does the inadequacy come from consultation and coordination, which we are insisting, or does it come from unilateral behavior along the lines of our brother Abu Abbas, which produced a blatant inadequacy, trading the weightiest case, the Canadian diplomats, for the meager price of 700,000 euros?
	So they're like bitching about sales.
	Yeah, the guy, he couldn't close the real deal.
	He had to take a discount.
	We do not do discounts.
	I'm going to write that down.
	That was 220.
	We do not do discounts.
	That was my German.
	That wasn't good.
	But isn't that sad?
	It's very funny.
	Yeah, well, it just shows you that it's just nuts.
	All right, I'm ready.
	Okay, here we go.
	Okay, so there's three things that were busted loose by this book and there's all this classified information all leaked out and it needs to be investigated.
	Right.
	So let's start with the first one.
	The using drones in Yemen.
	Apparently, before this book came out a week or so ago, this was a complete secret.
	Now, how does it remain a complete secret after we droned two Americans?
	Where was that?
	Where did that take place?
	In Yemen.
	So, let's see.
	We have droned people in Yemen.
	It was a known fact we were droning people in Yemen.
	We killed Al-Awlaki in Lemon.
	In Lemon.
	In Lemon.
	From now on, it's Lemon.
	We killed his son in Lemon.
	All this was taking place in Yemen.
	Lemon.
	Okay, where's the secret?
	Tell me where the secret is.
	What was the secret that we missed?
	Donodronelist.com.
	Donodronelist.com.
	Donodronelist.
	Donodronelist.
	I wish you could put that as the title of the show.
	Donodronelist.
	Donodronelist with you.
	This is our new code word in the morning.
	Donodronelist.
	We'll eventually point to no agenda.
	You can sell subscriptions.
	What do you think our nation's critical infrastructure is, John?
	Can you name three pieces of infrastructure that are critical?
	The Verizon backbone?
	Yeah.
	Good.
	I'll take that one.
	Yes.
	The Google network?
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	And...
	I would say there's probably another couple backbones I can mention.
	Let's say the Sprint backbone's a good one.
	None of those are on Lieberman's list, by the way.
	Oh, no, no.
	Wait a minute.
	Stop.
	Don't go on.
	These backbones, which would be the real critical parts of the network, you know, I would even add...
	Okay, I know what it is then.
	He's got Mae West...
	May East, the big giant nodes that communicate our network.
	No, no, that's got to be on there because this would be what you would say if you had any idea about what you're talking about.
	You would have to put those on.
	All of them are wrong.
	This is actually a good story.
	You want to read this?
	It's actually quite entertaining.
	No, you read it.
	Okay.
	Well, out in the backcountry alone, it concerns me somewhat that I'm sharing habitat with mountain lions, which are basically 180-pound versions of typical house cats made of coiled steel and teeth.
	The mental image of a giant tabby silently stalking me on razor-sharp extractable claws waiting to pounce makes it difficult to relax during these little excursions.
	As an amulet to being stalked, pounced upon, and disemboweled by one of these magnificent beasts, I have taken to playing the No Agenda show through my iPhone speakers.
	Not only does this keep predators at bay, it's a great way to multitask.
	I get my RDA of uncompromised news from the best podcast in the universe, a little exercise, and I get to keep my jugglers.
	So there I was, riding along, enjoying the outdoors, listening to the show.
	It was the donation segment I was thinking that I needed to renounce my bonerdom and become a donor.
	At that very moment, I was struck by one of the Mother's Nature's combo, an imminent call, the gas station, coffee, and green bean burrito. - Combo.
	Combo that seemed so good only an hour before had turned on me.
	I got off my bike and made my way toward the bushes when I noticed something flicker in the sunlight.
	White paper!
	Could it be my good intentions of donating?
	Of course!
	I was about to receive some retroactive karma in the form of a stash of toilet paper that must have fallen from a hiker's pack.
	What luck!
	I reached out to grab the white wad of backcountry convenience and discovered to my horror that it had already been used and now only barely covered the ghastly remnants of some previous traveler's breakfast.
	Balls!
	I reversed course and found a less conspicuous place to dig a hole of my own and was saved from a rather uncomfortable ride home by some bandages from my first aid kit that served alternative purposes well enough.
	The message was clear, however.
	Donate or else!
	I had been spared, but would I be so lucky again?
	It's not worth the risk.
	I'm crying.
	I'm literally crying.
	Michael Shoemaker.
	Hold on, hold on, hold on.
	Chad needs some toilet paper karma.
	Come on.
	You've got karma.
	Oh, good writing, man.
	But here's John Edwards' mistress, and I've got a comment on this.
	B.L. writes that she expects people to judge her and her relationship with Edwards, but writes at its heart, this is a love story.
	What is the future for you and John Edwards now?
	That's a great question.
	Right now, the kids are the priority.
	That is not a great question.
	How is that a great question?
	Great question.
	That's not a great question!
	No, I have the Tumblr interview clip.
	I have Oregon shooting Obama expanded stutter.
	Well, I have Oregon shooting Obama stammer.
	Obama stammer?
	Yeah, play the Obama stammer.
	Obama stammer.
	It's not the only country that has...
	And then we have Expanded.
	This is the whole clip with all the stuttering.
	It's psychosis.
	Very cute.
	Alright.
	You better take your man, slave.
	You gotta take him.
	Just take your man, son.
	Because if you don't take your meds, Anderson Pooper will show you what it's like to live with voices in your head.
	So we're going to put these earphones in, and they're going to try to do a series of tests.
	Okay, so I'm now hearing sort of whispers and voices in my head, and the first test is on some number puzzles.
	Listen!
	You suck, and they know it.
	This is a whole piece of Anderson Cooper.
	What is this?
	Anderson Cooper is going to show what it's like to live with psychosis.
	And he puts headphones on.
	This is a scientific test.
	They're talking to him.
	Yeah, they're saying that he sucks, and apparently that's what his voice is saying.
	You suck.
	And then he's asked to do some tasks, like walk around on the street and do puzzles and fold paper.
	Well, he's got...
	And so we get a mix.
	How do people walk around listening to music on their iPads or iPod?
	Funny you say that.
	He brings this up.
	That's right.
	Okay.
	So I did this test for three minutes and I did not get a single one.
	It's very hard to...
	It's hard to concentrate when...
	If it's like music or something...
	He wears an IFB for God's sake!
	Just listen to it.
	It's very hard to, it's hard to concentrate when, if it's like music or something constant, it's easy, but people talking to you is very difficult.
	Shut up!
	Listen, IFB! For people who know what IFB is, that is the little earpiece where the producer is literally talking to him while he is talking and counting them down into commercials.
	It's a skill.
	Handing questions, all kinds of stuff happens.
	And he's actually very good at this.
	Tom Brokaw is another guy.
	He is lying to the public when he says this is distracting him.
	He is trained not to be distracted by this sort of thing.
	And he's saying that he's getting nothing right.
	But also, I like what they've made up.
	It's like, the voice in your head is apparently saying, you suck.
	You're no good.
	Kill all humans.
	Kill all humans.
	I want to talk back to the voices now, but it's really distracting.
	And by the way, shut up.
	It's a common thing that the producers yell in your ear.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Shut up now!
	Do not touch that.
	Stop.
	This is a brilliant piece.
	I could not make it a...
	Well, it's in the show notes, the link to the video.
	What are you looking at?
	And this is edited, believe me.
	This is easy.
	Do you want to touch that?
	I can't do this.
	But it's just, it's really hard to, it's hard to focus when kind of people are whispering to you and talking to you.
	He sounds an IFB! But now he's on the street.
	And there's a whispering.
	Just come clear.
	With echo.
	Come here to me.
	Come here for help.
	Yeah.
	Come here, Anderson.
	Kill Brolf.
	Kill Brolf.
	Hey, do you have yesterday's paper?
	He asked for yesterday's paper to prove that he is now insane from the voices.
	Ask for yesterday's paper.
	Yesterday's New York Times?
	No?
	Okay.
	I'll just get today.
	I'll just get today.
	It's incredibly distracting on the street to have somebody talk in your head, and it makes you feel completely isolated from everyone else around you.
	You don't want to engage in conversation with other people.
	You kind of find yourself wanting to engage in conversation with a voice in your head because they're constantly negative.
	How about audiobooks?
	People must go on shooting rampages when they listen to Audible.
	That shit should be outlawed.
	Talking to you and everything they're saying relates to things that you're actually doing.
	They're criticizing things you're doing.
	It's like you have a chorus watching you.
	Your mother hates you, Anderson.
	Commenting on what you're doing and you can't help it.
	I literally find myself wanting to kind of respond to them.
	You'll always be second rate, Anderson.
	Wolf makes more money than you.
	Kind of tell them to be quiet, and it's incredibly unpleasant.
	This is a very, very unpleasant experiment.
	Eyes down.
	Back up.
	Stand up now.
	This is crazy.
	And why does it have to be this kind of Long Island woman, you know?
	And stand up.
	Back up.
	Do this now!
	I'll cut you off.
	I'll cut you off.
	20, 30, 40.
	Stand up now.
	Walk away.
	You're okay.
	Walk now.
	It's okay, Anderson.
	It's okay, Anderson.
	And that just went on for hours and hours.
	I only clipped two minutes of it.
	Like five minutes of him walking around trying to fold paper.
	Anyway, this is the same messaging.
	We're going to have to be stuck with this.
	This is the last High School USA show.
	I'm going to have to set it up.
	One of the characters went to a party in Amish country where the girls get to do whatever they wanted and they were having sex every which way.
	And they decided the only kind of sex they didn't have is by having a sex change and then having sex again.
	So the girl that was an Amish girl had the sex change.
	The guys decided against it.
	Old widow in my autumn years?
	That's the worst news of all!
	That's right, Brad.
	You got dealt a winning hand.
	Don't fold it.
	Hmm...
	Well, I guess I should go tell her.
	I sure hope she takes it like the man that she now is.
	Brad.
	Miriam, is that really you?
	It sure is.
	Pretty cool, right?
	Yeah.
	Now get on in there.
	I can't wait to take this new hog for a spin.
	Well, here's the thing, Miriam.
	I can't go through with this.
	Because how do I say this delicately?
	I just don't want to.
	Well, I can't say that under the circumstances I'm not a little disappointed.
	But I understand.
	You need to live your boring single-gendered life the way you want to.
	Well...
	You're the coolest guy in the world.
	Look at you, man.
	You're a real son of a bitch.
	Well, I'm off to find a woman to have sex with me.
	Wish me luck.
	Oh, you'll find one easy.
	There's so many sluts out there.
	And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Fox Network.
	So Nancy Pelosi explained exactly who we have to thank for this.
	Can you think?
	Well, Obama!
	No!
	Wrong, wrong, wrong!
	I want to say a word about Senator Kennedy.
	I spoke to Vicki Kennedy this morning.
	Now listen, listen, listen.
	...to Patrick Kennedy before coming here, thanking them for the important role that he played, a lifetime of commitment to making health care a right, not a privilege, in our country.
	He called it the great unfinished business of our country, of our society.
	Hold on!
	Hold on!
	You're stepping on the best parts!
	Shut up, slave!
	I knew that when he left us, he would go to heaven and help pass the bill.
	Oh!
	and now i knew he's busily at work until this decision came down He was working the whole time.
	Clip of the day.
	Oh, I wasn't ready for it.
	Yes.
	Clip of the day.
	This is why you've got to watch C-SPAN. Because you don't get this stuff on the news.
	I heard that and I'm like, you've got to be kidding me.
	That's what you did.
	Ted Kennedy went to heaven and worked the whole time.
	Ted Kennedy went to heaven and passed a health care bill.
	Fantastic.
	Fantastic.
	Let's just listen to that again.
	The whole thing is 15 seconds.
	He would go to heaven and help pass the bill.
	And now I knew he was busily at work until this decision came down, inspiring one way or another.
	And now he can rest in peace.
	You're done.
	You're done.
	This woman is unbelievable.
	You're done, Ted.
	The Democrat Party should be ashamed of themselves for keeping her around.
	Oh, I still get jollies.
	How awesome is that?
	Yeah, it's pretty awesome.
	There's a long Reverend Manning clip that I had to, it was 20 minutes and I have to cut it down to like 6 or 7 minutes where he goes on a crazy rant.
	But he starts off really sedate and then he gets wild at the end and it's actually going to be quite funny to listen to.
	I do have a teaser, you can see where it's headed from my little intro here.
	What am I playing?
	God, you're terrible today.
	Yeah, I suck.
	You're always nailing these.
	Yeah, well, I suck.
	It's a Reverend Manning intro.
	Oh.
	You mean this clip?
	I want everybody to try to understand.
	I'm not a right winger.
	I'm not a left winger.
	I'm not a liberal.
	I'm not a conservative.
	I'm not a Democrat.
	I'm not a Republican.
	I'm a Christian.
	I'm not even black, actually.
	And I have a role to play in Christianity as a preacher, as a pastor.
	Of which I have been doing for 30 years and will continue to do.
	My parish, if you will, is located in the community known as Harlem, but I preach to the world God's unadulterated word.
	Now, I do not see the world politically, and so therefore please understand that.
	I only see things spiritually.
	At present, the reason why so much of my time and energy has been spent dealing with Obama is because Obama is the son of Satan.
	If he was just another politician, then I would probably be very casual at the most about him as I was with George Bush or with Bill Clinton.
	But when a preacher looks up and he sees that Satan has sent one of his sons, then I spend every weekend moment of my day talking about the fact that Satan's son is here.
	Yeah, and my age theory is nuts.
	Hold on a second.
	Now, get out there and whoop Obama's behind me!
	There's no real conflict.
	Shut up, slave.
	Manning on Fox.
	Oh, that sounds so much like Manning 1, doesn't it?
	Well, you're not looking at the whole thing.
	And when Fox News saw the millions that came down to the 9, 10 September 2009 Tea Party rally, they immediately jumped on board because they recognized that the Tea Party had reached critical mass in terms of the number of people that were supporting it.
	So they began to support the Tea Party.
	But the other thing that happened at Fox News and some of the Roger Ailes and Rupert Murdoch were also negotiating with is that after the election, the rule came down, you speak ill against Obama, you lose your license.
	You speak ill against Obama, you lose all your advertising.
	And so Fox News then cut a deal to get rid of Fox News' most outspoken speaker of Obama in Glenn Beck.
	Took about eight, nine months to get it done.
	They got rid of him.
	They toned down Sarah Palin.
	And they pumped up Bill O'Reilly, who is a sellout.
	Bill O'Reilly is a whore from the word go.
	Bill O'Reilly and Obama's father are both in-heat whores.
	You offer Bill O'Reilly money, he don't care, he'll take it.
	And he began to pump up and support Obama.
	So the other mistake was, in addition to putting your trust in the Tea Party, people began to put their trust in Fox News.
	But Fox News had already sold out to quietly support Obama.
	And they sent the big gun of Bill O'Reilly out there to shoot down the birth certificate and call all the birthers whack jobs, looms, crazies, and racists.
	And night after night, night after night on the Fox show, whatever it's called, Bill O'Reilly, de facto O'Reilly.
	He shot down birthers, called them crazies, called them loons, until finally anybody who came on Fox News was afraid to even mention the birth certificate.
	And that wasn't all.
	Riley then stepped up and said, I've seen the birth certificate.
	I personally have seen it.
	So shut up!
	And so Fox News sold out.
	But still people, knowing that they have been cheated by Fox News, turn on Fox News every day.
	I don't understand that.
	I don't understand it.
	Is it the Stockholm Syndrome where you actually take part in your own destruction?
	I mean, I consider Fox News the new Charles Manson.
	And the Manson followers, no matter what he did, stabbed Sharon's tape in the stomach with a knife, though she's pregnant, raped and robbed and pilfered.
	I see people who watch Fox News as followers of Charles Manson, because Fox News has sold out.
	Go ahead now and whoop the dung-head media!
	Okay, it's good.
	I love that guy.
	Play Manning, part two, the rant about the tea party.
	We have a theme.
	We have a theme today.
	The tea party's ineffective, but yet people thought that they had the power.
	You can see it.
	They are not your friend.
	And we have said this over and over and over again.
	And the Tea Party congressional members are not your friend.
	So trusting in this was a major mistake.
	Had you stayed with the ineligibility, the unconstitutional statement of status of Obama, you would not be weeping today.
	You would not be wringing your hands today had you stayed with the issue that was the only issue, and that is the issue of Obama's ineligibility.
	And that even of itself...
	I had a glimmer of a hope, but after the Tea Party slammed it, after Fox News slammed it.
	Now think for just a second how angry you get when you hear me.
	But remember, you're acting now just like black people.
	People got flat-out angry with me when I told them Obama was a slickster, he was a pimp, he was a long-legged mac daddy, he was a hustler, he was a stealer of Dr.
	King's dream, and he didn't care anything about black people.
	Not only that, but it wasn't black!
	And black people got mad enough for me to chew nails.
	They were wrong!
	Now you are wrong.
	You are wrong.
	For following the Tea Party, you are wrong.
	For following Fox News, you are wrong.
	You are wrong.
	The Koch brothers benefits greatly from Obama.
	They're all now selling the same program.
	And this new film out now demonstrates Obama being the son of Frank Marshall Davis.
	Ain't nothing but another move by Obama.
	You're not dealing with the devil!
	You're not dealing with a human being!
	You're dealing with the son of Satan!
	And he's got moves that you've never thought of!
	You're wrong!
	The problem is, you're blind!
	You're blind!
	You're gonna turn on Fox News as long as they tease you with the idea that they're against Obama!
	But if you were the executive producer and the editor of the news at Fox News, couldn't you put together a roster of announcers and news items that would destroy Obama in a heartbeat?
	You post up on your Facebook page.
	You post up on YouTube information.
	And if you were at Fox News, you'd do the same thing that you're doing on your Facebook page.
	So you know Fox News is a damn sellout.
	You know they can do better.
	You know they can tell the truth.
	Because you do it, and yet you give them a pass for not doing it.
	What's wrong with you?
	The same thing with the Tea Party.
	The same thing!
	No Tea Party member of Congress will talk about the fact that we've got a criminal, the courts have been co-opted, and now they've been co-opted.
	And you know it!
	You know it!
	You know it.
	So you're wrong.
	It's a bit long.
	Yeah, that one I could have cut off when he gave it the Frank Davis thing.
	You know, that was something that was always considering that Frank Davis that was born to this guy as his real dad is an Obama scheme.
	The devil.
	That's even better.
	Exactly!
	Well, the next ones aren't that long.
	That one I could have cut right through.
	That actually was the interesting thing that he brought up.
	That's a good take.
	That's a deconstruction.
	I liked it.
	We're at part three here.
	This is about Romney?
	Yes, Romney thinks he's an idiot.
	Now, what's the solution?
	Well, first of all, we need to understand this.
	That Mitt Romney is perhaps...
	And this is so pathetic.
	Mitt Romney is perhaps the worst possible candidate.
	Mitt Romney is the worst possible.
	What is wrong with you people?
	What's wrong with you?
	Well, Manning, you don't have the statue to tell us what to do.
	You know, you're just a little preacher over there at a church over there in Harlem, and we like you.
	We think you're amusing when you talk about black people.
	We like what you say about them.
	But when you start talking about white people, you're automatically wrong.
	And so, I mean, we love to hear you talk about black people.
	We love to hear you say that they ain't got no honor.
	We love to hear you talk about how barbaric they act and all of that and how they are racist.
	And we love that.
	But now when you talk about, you only give me credit when I talk about black folk.
	And I'm right.
	And you're right for giving me credit.
	God knows when I speak about them, I'm right.
	But I'm right when I talk about white folk as well.
	They're just half right.
	This truth is universal.
	Fox News is a sellout.
	The biggest mistake we made in this whole matter with Obama is trusting Fox News and they're laughing all the way to the back.
	The Tea Party!
	The Culp Brothers!
	You're foolish!
	And now Mitt Romney against Obama?
	Now here's a person.
	Anyway, Obama will win.
	There's no doubt about that.
	And he'll be president forever.
	He's great.
	You know, he's doing a lot of deconstruction that we do, only he adds a certain flavor.
	He adds a little more flair than we have available to us.
	He's got a little flair going on there.
	Wow, yeah, that's pretty good.
	He'll be president forever.
	A very interesting, let's say, prediction.
	He has not made history.
	And being the first black African-American president.
	Because whether you think this is boasting or not, or whether you think I'm gloating, or whether you think I done got outside of my position of authority, but I have made sure that the history books will not record Obama as the first black president.
	I done tore that thing up.
	I done tore that one up!
	I done tore it up!
	Nobody's saying he was the first black president.
	And that little twit called Toni Morrison and that old witch Call Angela Maya Angelou who were whores who said that Bill Clinton was the first black president.
	Black people so psychotic, so deranged, so without honor, so self-loathing, they named Bill Clinton as the first black president.
	That's how much they hate black folk and how much they reverence white folk.
	They were wrong!
	And Obama ain't the first black president.
	So we got rid of that.
	But he made history today.
	Yeah.
	He made history far greater than being the first black president.
	Because nobody don't care about black people.
	No way.
	And by the way, black people will be on the boat going to Africa by 2014.
	And Alan West and Marco Rubio are the ones who have made it possible.
	They will be on the boat going by 2014.
	Black people will be going back to Africa.
	Oh, it's going to look like a great excursion.
	It's going to look like a great movement.
	Two years from now, when the health care bill really kicks in, and two years from now, when Obama has then taken mass control of the world, and the Islamic world is now dominating, and the economy is in the tank, and two years from now, the world is going to be so different, getting on a boat going back to Africa, black folk is going to seem like a good idea!
	It's going to seem like a really good idea.
	And there are going to be billions of dollars poured into the idea.
	All kinds of resettlement monies are going to be allocated.
	And all the black politicians are going to say this is a good idea.
	And the cities are crumbling and all that kind of a thing.
	Oh yeah, but you're going back to Africa.
	You're going back to Africa.
	You're worthless.
	Nobody needs you now.
	We got the Dream Act.
	We got Mexicans who pick tomatoes and they clean toilets.
	And nobody needs these self-loathing welfare cheats called black people anymore.
	You're going back to Africa.
	And Obama's going to be the one to send you there.
	I thought we were depressing.
	All right, I'm going to give it to you.
	Clip of the day.
	Please put all of that in the red book.
	Let me see if I got this right.
	Obama's president forever.
	Black people being sent back to Africa.
	Well, that was fantastic.
	Sir Cyberman.
	Do you think he can do a hat trick in the future?
	He's on notice.
	It'd be nice.
	It would be nice.
	It's pretty astonishing.
	You know, people should appreciate...
	what we've been doing over the years, and I hope that they do.
	You know, I was looking over some of the donations and I noticed that there's a lot of, there's more than a few men overboard who, for whatever reason, I think we've lost them.
	Some are coming back.
	From time to time, I see some coming back, but yeah, overboard for sure, but for various reasons.
	Well, the only reason that is the people don't have time for the show because they used to commute and they used to listen to the show in their car and they don't exercise, they can't listen to the gym and they don't necessarily like to listen to the show while they're doing dishes.
	But it's kind of a shame because, I mean, this show kind of shows the kind of variety of material that we produce.
	Besides our deconstructions, we have funny stuff.
	It would be very cool if someone went to noagendaplayer.com and annotated the whole thing.
	I would like to see all the shows annotated.
	Well, most of them are.
	Remember in the early days when Bubba?
	Yeah, he would transcribe.
	He didn't transcribe, but he did the notes.
	Someone is still doing that.
	John, someone is still doing that.
	I saw that the other day.
	On a show-by-show basis?
	Yeah, someone was doing topic-by-topic-by-topic, so not a literal transcription, but at least had the topics.
	I don't remember what it was.
	I would like to see what that page is.
	Oh, man.
	I can't remember what it was.
	Let me see.
	No agenda topics.
	Well, let's dig it up.
	I think it would be very handy.
	Yeah, it would be super handy.
	It's just I can't remember who was doing that.
	No agenda search.
	Someone out there is doing it, and they'll let me know.
	Okay.
	We'd love to plug it.
	That would be great.
	Fantastic resource for sure.
	Alrighty, so we're going to have another nice evening here in Ogaipari.
	Yes, please.
	And I'll see you in Austin on Sunday for the next show.
	Yes, and thanks everybody again for supporting us and for allowing us to have a full week of, well, at least not doing a show.
	Prep continues, but at least not doing a show.
	It's appreciated.
	You got anything coming up for Sunday you know about yet?
	No, not really.
	Okay.
	That's how it rolls.
	We will be talking about the AC-130 and the book.
	Ah, yes.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I saw that email come in.
	Cool.
	Yeah, we got some good...
	211 rounds my ass.
	All right, everybody.
	We will return on Sunday, which means we'll need your help for our extra donation segment.
	Remember us at Dvorak.org slash NA. And coming to you from Gitmo Nation Frog Legs, Here in Paris.
	I almost wanted to say Paris, Texas.
	There's a Paris, Texas, but it's Paris, France.
	Good morning, everybody.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, where there's no Paris in California, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We will return on Sunday right here on No Agenda.
	Adios, mofos!

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