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Feb. 21, 2016 - No Agenda
02:40:11
801: White Male Clerks
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Time Text
To me, it's the handshake of the devil.
Adam Curry, John C. DeVore.
It's Sunday, February 21st, 2016, and time once again for your Gitmo Nation media assassination episode 801.
This is No Agenda.
Lifted my head up from the secure enclave.
I've been studying all weekend and broadcasting live from the capital of the drone.
Star State, Austin Tejas, FEMA, Region 6.
In the morning, everybody.
I'm Adam Curry.
And from northern Silicon Valley, where I'm wondering, why is he shouting?
I'm John C. Devorak.
It's Crackpot and Buzzkill.
In the morning.
Because I have some very important information to convey.
That's why.
Yeah, like what?
Well, alert the affiliates.
I'm Cliplight.
I'm Cliplight today.
Ugh.
Why would the affiliates care?
You're right.
I'm saying it for you.
Production.
I've got plenty of clips.
I'm clip light.
Where are you late?
Because Thursday we had a Democratic town hall.
We had a GOP down hall.
I recorded the town hall.
Down hall.
Down hall is good.
Down hall.
I recorded both.
I was really into the Apple thing.
We'll talk about it.
I won't do it right now.
I looked at these things.
It was so boring, John.
I couldn't bring myself to watch it.
Did you watch any of this stuff?
It's so boring.
I just got a few miscellaneous things.
I let other people watch it.
So boring, man.
Yeah, very boring.
I'll tell you something.
There's a couple of things that struck me.
One was that the Wall Street Journal, NBC, Wall Street Journal, Marist, these different polls, and anything that involves the Wall Street Journal, these polls are garbage.
Oh yeah, this was the big one that said that Cruz was ahead of Trump.
Well, there was that.
It was that.
Yeah, it's true.
That was the one that everyone just said, oh, God, don't do that.
Let me just understand.
So what I saw is Trump won with the magic number 33.
Yep.
And then it was Rubio Cruz with 22 each.
What happened to the poll?
The poll was clearly way off.
Well, does the Wall Street Journal go back and say, gee, we have to go recalculate or look at what our polling is?
Well, everybody wanted these polls to go that way.
Let's listen to this before the election.
This is ABC reports on the polls, and you can see what they're trying to do here.
Breaking developments on both sides tonight.
In South Carolina, the Republican rumble and the new poll tonight.
Donald Trump at 28%, but his lead not as large as before.
Ted Cruz closing in five points behind there.
Marco Rubio in third with 15%.
So Rubio's got 50.
They're way off.
These polls, the day before the election, they're not even close.
These polls are bogus.
Yeah.
And ABC, of course, ABC and NBC both were all in on trying to indicate that Trump was fading and perhaps could lose.
But now, John, this is NBC News and the Wall Street Journal.
This cannot just, we cannot let this slip by without saying hello.
Either your polling is off, significantly, or it's corrupt.
Yes, and where is everybody on this issue?
Well, you know, they don't want Trump.
There's a couple...
I got a variety of disjointed clips.
Good.
Which means I can go just about anywhere I want.
But this Trump thing, this was the end.
I think the best clip...
I'm going to just kind of jump ahead and then we'll go back to some more of the stuff on the polls and what they're trying to accomplish.
But let's go jump ahead to this one clip where Carl Bernstein...
Who's on CNN. And when Bernstein...
When he comes on...
He's from the famous Bernstein-Woodward, the Watergate reporters.
So, when he's on, you listen.
Because he seems to be...
Now, is he the CIA guy?
Or is that the other guy?
No, Woodward's the CIA guy.
Yeah, he's the CIA guy.
I'll tell you this.
Bernstein has, all of a sudden, out of the blue, he's got the CIA white hair.
Oh.
And so I don't know, maybe he's...
That's a dead giveaway.
You know what I'm talking about.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, the CIA white hair.
So...
What color is your hair these days, John?
Sorry?
What color is your hair these days?
It's the same color.
It's always been sandy.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Carl Bernstein summarizes and predicts, let's listen to this because this is, I think this is right on the money, exactly what's going to happen.
In the Republican race, but even proportional delegate allocation in South Carolina, Donald Trump won them all.
He won at least 44.
It looks like he's going to win 50 delegates in South Carolina.
Everyone else gets zero.
Zero delegates out of South Carolina.
That's a big result for Donald Trump.
And if he can continue anything like that, Nevada is Tuesday.
It looks like he's doing well there, too.
And the calendar and the nature of the states ahead on Super Tuesday are a big advantage for him.
I talked to a major Republican officeholder in the Bush administration a couple hours ago, and he said, look, you've got to look at this as Trump having a 75% chance of getting the nomination as a result of what's happened here.
And at the same time, there is a real movement now that we're going to see to stop Trump among the so-called, it's a very loose term, establishment figures.
But you still can't see absolutely how Trump gets a majority of delegates going into that There could be a deadlock convention, in which case you could see someone like Rubio and Kasich, for instance, coming together at the convention with, quote, establishment Republican figures trying to keep Trump from getting the nomination, giving their delegates and votes to each other.
And having a really exciting convention.
You could see a ticket perhaps with Rubio and Kasich.
Some kind of different form.
But we're going to see now a huge Stop Trump effort in the media.
As David Gergen was saying earlier, we're going to see some real serious overdue reporting on Trump.
We're going to see Republican regulars at this point take out all the stops to try and halt this train, because they see the destruction of the Republican Party ahead.
And also, you know, we've ended the so-called dynasty of Bush tonight, and I think we might see Bernie Sanders start to make an argument that says it's a time that we end all these dynasties, including the Clinton dynasty, because...
In a way, he too is this outsider who has a chance to start a movement, he has already, that could keep going.
But he's got to come up with some new angles to keep moving on what he had before his momentum was broken tonight.
Hmm.
So the thinking here is that the media is going to take Trump out?
Is that what they're planning on?
Well, that's going to have to be the media, but it's going to be at the behest of the Republican...
Yeah, but that's not going to work.
This is not their field anymore.
They're wrong.
I think Trump beats them in the media every time, no matter what they try.
Well, this became...
I didn't clip this whole thing because it went on with another debate because a Trump supporter, one of the...
Campaign people or other, was there to argue with Bernstein, saying he's been asked a lot of questions, and he's done a great job with the media, manipulated them.
And Bernstein mentions that, well, he says he's talking about reporting, not interviewing.
He says, yeah, Trump is a kick-ass interview because you can't beat him.
And I think we're just seeing an element of that, the one, this clip here, which is the Howard Stern clip, was, I think, the first kind of salvo trying to, like, bust Trump on his bullcrap.
And this is Trump and Stern clip.
Is this Trump on Stern, or is this just Stern talking?
Here, it's self-explanatory.
Trump now under fire for his frequent claims he is the only Republican candidate who opposed the war in Iraq.
I was against the war in Iraq.
I said it's going to totally destabilize the Middle East.
I tell the truth about Iraq.
I say the war was a disaster.
We shouldn't have done it.
We did it.
I should get points for vision because I was totally against the war in Iraq.
But today, Trump confronted with this recording of a 2002 interview with Howard Stern.
Thank you for invading Iraq.
Yeah, I guess so.
You know, I wish the first time it was done correctly.
On the stump, the candidate trying to explain.
And the first guy ever asked me about Iraq was Howard Stern.
I said, well, I don't know.
Yeah, I guess it's all right.
Then I started looking at it.
Before the war started, I was against that war.
I was against that war.
I said, don't go to Iraq.
And I said it strongly and I said it loud.
But Trump's campaign?
Unable or unwilling to produce any evidence that he was ever a vocal opponent of the war before it began.
See, I don't think that the voting public cares about these stories anymore.
The year of the flip-flopper, that was, you know, that was 23 elections ago.
I agree to some extent, but that's not the point.
The point is that this was at least an example of somebody digging.
And that's what they haven't been doing.
And digging up an old clip from 2002 is actually a lot of work.
Now, I suspect that somebody in Stern's office did this.
Fred.
Pulled it up.
It was Fred.
It had to be Fred.
I don't know.
Whatever the case, there will be a lot of these things cropping up now and again to kind of rattle Trump.
Now, there's a little kicker in this that I'm not too sure about one way or the other.
But they say, well, Trump can't prove it.
You know, this is what the ABC guys do.
Trump can't prove it.
Yeah, ABC. And it's possible that Trump can prove it.
And he wants to save that.
I mean, this would be a good political move is to actually have evidence that he's bitching about this war early on.
But he's had it in his book.
He's had, you know, his newspaper articles.
He's had quite a bit of exposure about his stance at the time.
Well...
While we're on this topic, I need to read an email.
If you don't mind.
No.
Okay.
From Frank Mancuso, which is a fake name.
That's like a name...
Dude's name Ben used when they're using a fake account.
A few things I want to clear from listening to your show.
I do not like Islamists.
I despise them.
But what about those refugees?
What do they do to you?
These are human beings you were talking about, not animals.
For someone like you that gets annoyed with waiting in line at the store, which I can't remember...
I would like to see you and your family without food, water, or bathroom for six months.
Think about that!
Okay.
I really liked your show a lot before you both turned into Trump-ass-kissing agents.
I mean, come on already.
Every episode, it goes on and on.
Are you getting donations from his supporters?
Trump already has a hot girlfriend.
That takes care of the BJs, so please take his dick out of your mouth.
It's disgusting.
Okay.
Yeah, you know...
I don't know.
Some people just don't listen to the show.
No, they're not listening to the show.
They're not listening to the show.
It's annoying.
It's just you listen for codes or something, and the codes aren't the codes of you.
Yeah, but the guy's in Brooklyn, so he's got to be a Hillary bot.
Everyone in Brooklyn is now a Hillary bot.
Yeah, Hillary bot.
As far as I'm concerned.
Brooklyn is now Hillary territory.
Yeah, well, it should be Bernie territory, but it's not.
Can I do a little entremant before we continue?
Sure.
Just because Jeb Bush dropped out yesterday.
He brought his mom to introduce him to the last event.
The guy is really pathetic.
And it was kind of heartbreaking, his little goodbye.
I'm telling you, I said this on the show before.
I don't think he wanted the job.
I think he just took the money.
Yeah.
He was insincere.
Trump was right, everything he criticized him for.
He was just out there doing it because somebody told him to.
Even though his mother said he shouldn't run, somebody told him he had to run, and so he obliged, and that's the end of it.
I'm proud of the campaign that we've run to unify our country and to advocate conservative solutions that would give more Americans the opportunity to rise up and reach their God-given potential.
But the people of Iowa and New Hampshire and South Carolina have spoken, and I really respect their decision.
So tonight, I am suspending my campaign.
Please clap.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
Now, of course, he had, of the group that was the losers, he had the most of the group.
I mean, Casey's just staying in.
Even Ben Carson's staying in.
Everyone's staying in.
He got out at the first opportunity.
He had the money.
I want to hear him cry.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
We're talking about crying.
You're interrupting his crying moment.
I thought he was over.
No, he's about to cry.
He's about to cry right here.
I'm tearing up!
I'm tearing up!
Poor guy.
Well, if you want to see something that's even more pathetic than I think, is this bit that I saw Kasich pull.
And this was played on the Today Show.
And this is the Kasich...
You'll see it.
Kasich...
Kasich.
It's Kasich.
It's Kasich.
Hugging.
The hugging incident.
Oh, what is this all about, then?
Okay, so Today Show...
We played this thing and they had Charlie and Nora and what's her name?
That's CBS This Morning, you mean, not the Today Show.
Yes, right, right.
Sorry, you're right.
CBS This Morning.
After several months of 3x3, it gets confusing, I understand.
So we're talking about the morning show on CBS and the three of them, they're all taken aback by this whole incident.
Here we go.
The New York Times reports on an emotional moment during a campaign stop in South Carolina for John Kasich.
Brett Smith, a University of Georgia student, told the candidate yesterday the Kasich campaign gave him hope.
Over a year ago, a man who was like my second dad, he killed himself.
And then a few months later, My parents got a divorce.
And then a few months later, my dog got run over.
My dad lost his job.
And I was in a really dark place for a long time.
I was pretty depressed.
But I found hope.
And I found it in the Lord and in my friends.
And now I've found it in my presidential candidate that I support.
And I'd really appreciate one of those hugs you've been talking about.
Okay.
We need to slow down. - Because there are not enough people who are helping those who have no one celebrate their victories.
And we don't have enough people that sit down and cry with that young man.
Brett says Kasich is a uniter and thinks he can win the presidency.
This is something Kasich talked about when he was here at the table.
I hadn't seen it, Nora.
They're really befuddled.
That's right.
I mean, a hug at the right time, at the right place, from the right person.
From Oprah.
It can be a game changer.
I hadn't sent it until you sent it around yesterday, and I think...
That's the kind of message more people need to hear.
Very touched.
And also to make it more than just policy.
That's right.
It is about people and their own feelings.
Wow.
Very touching.
And very genuine.
Why don't you just give them the crown and the sash right now?
All right, well, you should have let him talk without...
You stepped on the end, but...
I'm sorry, what did they say at the end?
No, it's just going on and on and on.
But what caught my attention was just the casual remark by Charlie about the hug saying, yeah, he talked about that when he was here.
Mm-hmm.
And then she said, yeah.
And then they kind of, like, agreed upon that.
But then one of them said, but we didn't get to see it.
And then they got to see it.
This is rigged.
This was, like, so staged.
Yeah.
He set it up.
He shows up at the show and says, oh, yeah, I like to hug people.
Okay, great.
And then a dude shows up.
And so then they have a guy come on.
A country song.
And these guys are all pre-selected, let's face it.
We know this.
It's the way you do it.
In fact, there's a report now that every single candidate has been hiring actors.
There's a couple of agencies.
And you get paid $50 to sit in the background there holding up the sign.
Trump has done it.
Clinton has done it.
Everyone's done it.
Everyone does it, of course.
And they're given scripts to speak at town halls.
The kid is up there in tears, and then Casey goes and gives him a big hug, which lasts for kind of uncomfortably long.
And then Casey goes up there and he talks about, there's nobody there to cry with this man.
And it's like...
Did he brush his tears away?
It was just like rigged.
It was like staged to an extreme.
And then when they played it on the, the CBS folks played it and they were all, oh my God, that's so nice.
So it just was, to me, to be honest about it, it'd be kind of glib of, I don't want to be too glib.
It was sickening.
Yeah.
And it was more sickening to listen to this analysis, this supposed analysis we're getting from the CBS folks who didn't notice the coincidence that Kasich had said that he gives these hugs and then all of a sudden there's a hug clip.
Gee.
Yeah.
Does this guy think he's going to get any votes?
This reminds me, we're talking about guys not going to get votes from the average Joe.
Here's a clip.
This is the reason I would never vote for Ted Cruz in a million years.
By the way, I will be voting for the Libertarian candidate, as usual.
Is that going to be Gary Johnson?
I don't know yet.
They're doing a debate.
There will be a debate on, I think...
They do it every year.
I think on Crackle.
No, it'll be on Crackle.
That is the part that is sickening about this process.
If you're not in one of the two big parties, Republicans or Democrats, you don't get to be on TV. And this is why there are kids growing up in this country, in our country, who believe we have a two-party system.
Now, this is what bothers me.
Here is Cruz in South Carolina.
And this is the way his speeches go.
If I want to elect a preacher as the President of the United States, Huckabee Or Huckabee.
Hucklebee, yeah.
Hucklebee is smarter, he's sharper, he's funnier, and he doesn't go off on the deep end all the time like this guy does.
This guy, I wouldn't vote for.
I don't see how anyone can vote for him.
He is wearing his religion on his sleeve.
This is horrible.
Who's best on the economy is Trump?
Voters here live with modern growth that is leaving some behind.
There's a piece of the state that's still catching up, and the cut-and-sew textile plants have shut down and closed, and those jobs have gone overseas, which plays right into the message that Donald Trump is delivering about trade, about jobs, and about China.
Meanwhile, Ted Cruz is counting on help from the state's evangelicals.
Father God, please, continue this awakening.
Continue the spirit of revival.
Awaken the body of Christ that we might pull back from the abyss.
South Carolina is pivotal because of...
He's done that one before.
He's already done the from the abyss bit.
The abyss.
This is an old bit.
He's just replaying old bits.
The body of Christ.
I find it offensive.
That we might pull back from the abyss.
South Carolina is pivotal because of the calendar.
And what's the difference between him saying we'll pull back from the abyss and Barack Obama saying he saved us from the abyss?
It's the same thing.
Only Obama's talking about the financial crisis and Cruz is talking about something else.
South Carolina is pivotal because of the calendar.
There's no more on that clip.
Anyway, so that guy's...
I'm surprised.
And he should eliminate himself, but he's not going to.
Now there have been, I think, five or six states suing Cruz over his Canadian citizenship.
Yes, I have.
And this was instigated by the Democrats.
As Trump predicted.
As Trump predicted.
It's hilarious.
Let me see.
I have...
Which lawsuits do you have?
There's a couple of them.
I don't have any of them.
There was a main one.
I think New York's one of the states.
Yeah, I'm looking at this real second.
I just want to know who's leading it.
Oh, there's always a lead state.
It's the typical lead states are New York or Connecticut.
Yeah, and he may have a problem.
We don't know.
Well, I think his real problem is that he's a religious, he's just, he's insincere.
And how does this, here, there's a question for you.
These religious people feel about the fact that Cruz is the one that is photoshopping all kinds of false images.
Such as?
Well, this handshake between Rubio and Obama, which everybody was all up in arms about.
No, I haven't seen it.
I haven't followed this at all.
It's not funny.
So there is a picture of Obama and Rubio shaking hands and some implication that the two are in bed or, well, maybe literally.
I didn't get that out of it, but...
Turns out that it was Cruz's campaign.
It was a smear campaign against Rubio.
And the photo was photoshopped.
There was a couple of instances of this.
How does that jive with his Christianity and his do-good nature?
It seems not appropriate.
And the funny thing about the one, which I saw a picture of, he's got the two of them.
And I don't know, maybe it's subconscious.
Somebody came with this idea as a good idea.
Obama and Rubio are shaking hands with their left hands.
So it's a left hand shake.
Is Rubio a lefty?
Well, we know Obama is.
I don't think Rubio is.
But if you're a lefty, you don't shake that way anyway.
No, but the reason I'm saying that is it could be like a secret lefty handshake.
To me, it's the handshake of the devil.
Here it is.
Marco Rubio is a lefty.
Well, lefties don't do this.
It's subtle, though.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
Wait a second.
How do you know that?
You don't know that.
Know what?
You don't know that lefties don't have some secret handshake when they recognize each other.
Yeah, I do.
No, you don't.
You just made it up.
No, there is no...
Look it up.
See, find me some documentation for this, or is it that secret?
Okay, well...
And by the way, it's a Photoshop picture, so it doesn't make any difference.
Secret left hand...
I'll do lefty.
Handshake.
Elites.
Illuminati.
Okay, let's see what we...
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
It's the scout handshake.
Yes, left-handed handshakes.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
I think this needs some research for mob...
The story of the mob secret handshake?
Oh, I've got to look into this.
Hmm.
I don't know.
Tina's a lefty.
I'll ask her.
I'll ask her to let me into the club.
Lefties in the story here today.
Let me into the club, baby.
Well, of course, if you are in an Asian country, you always shake with your left hand.
You always eat with your left hand.
Not all Asian countries, but in Thailand.
I've been all over the place.
I've never seen anyone shake with their left hand.
They usually bow.
You may be wrong on that one.
No, I'm not.
Okay.
And besides that, it's the left hand, the supposed, the thing is you always eat with your right hand because it's your left hand you wipe your ass with.
No, you do that with your right hand.
You don't wipe your ass with your right hand.
You do everything, you, no.
Yes.
Your left hand is the wiping the ass hand.
No!
Well, you were wiping your hand with your right hand?
I use the shells.
Or were you using toilet paper like an American?
I use the shells.
Well, it's not that important for right now, but I do think I need to look into it.
Yes, you better.
Let's go on.
Let me try to wrap this thing so we get everyone caught up.
So here's another example of the media bias.
This is going right back to Katie Turd.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, it's like you'll discoriate me for which hand I wipe my ass with, but then you'll make a poop joke about a journalist.
Good one, John.
A woman, no less.
Good work.
This is her report on the day before the election.
Again, promoting the idea that Trump is fading.
Of course, she and Trump had it.
Oh, they've had it out, yeah.
He insulted her in public.
Yeah.
And I don't know why she didn't take it out of the package that she produced, but he insulted her.
And she left it in the package.
I don't know why, but she did.
This was early on when he first ran and nobody was taking him seriously and he was a clown and a jerk and all that sort of thing.
The clown car is here!
You know, that sort of thing.
So let's play...
Number one.
Number one.
Next Saturday, the 27th, for the Democratic primary.
A timeline that is ratcheting up the urgency in both races.
We've got both races covered.
Let's start tonight with NBC's Katie Terch.
She's in North Charleston for us.
Hi, Katie.
Hi, Katie.
Good evening, Lester.
Donald Trump has just taken the stage.
It's now less than 24 hours before this state votes, and there are indications, as you said, that this race could be a lot tighter than many had previously suspected.
Donald Trump losing his commanding lead as Ted Cruz tries to replicate his win in Iowa.
Donald Trump sounding confident to a boisterous crowd in Myrtle Beach.
But the billionaire is still on the defensive.
Okay.
That end there?
That's how it ended, yeah.
Okay, he's on the defensive.
Alright, go to clip two, the second part, because there's the element I'm looking for.
A new NBC News Wall Street Journal Marist poll out today, showing his lead slash...
Every time they do a poll, I have a lousy poll.
One potential reason, Trump's accusation during the debate that George W. Bush lied about weapons of mass destruction.
Sources within the campaign told NBC News Trump has been warned to ease off, both by advisers and even phone bank volunteers who were hearing negative reaction from voters about his attacks on George W. Bush.
Cruz in second, punching up and down, mocking Trump with his own words.
It's easy to say, let's make America great again.
He didn't even print that on a baseball cap.
But the question to ask is, do you understand what made America great in the first place?
And again, linking Marco Rubio to President Obama in a new ad.
Marco Rubio burned us once.
Trump is, he gives Christians a bad name.
This guy is creepy.
He yells, he screams.
Cruz.
Yeah, Cruz.
Cruz, not Trump.
I'm sorry, Cruz.
Overly fanatic.
Yeah, and then he's over-modulating to such an extreme that even the NBC, you know, experts can't, they have to use that clip?
Yeah, they had subtitles, captions, I'm sure.
Yeah.
Well, I got a little bit of news on the election tip.
So I got a note from one of the millennials who is now trained to be on the lookout for stuff within the millennial sphere, you know.
Here's what I got.
There's a big movement preparing people for Bernie's loss and people saying that you need to vote for H. And I'm training her to, you know, because I said, well, this is very interesting.
And I actually sent this clip I'm about to play.
And she said, wow.
Well, actually, I'll tell you what she said after the fact.
Here is Hillary.
And so again, as I go down this list of messages, it says, here we go.
Big Moon preparing people for Bernie's laws.
People saying you need to vote for Hillary because Bernie's numbers don't add up.
That is the quote that I got, and then I hear this clip.
Senator Sanders said that he would raise taxes on any family that made $250,000 and above.
Is that your level?
$250,000?
Well, I've said I will not raise taxes on anybody $250,000 or below, but here's the problem with Senator Sanders' plan.
His numbers don't add up.
There is no way for him to fulfill the promises he's making without raising taxes on the middle class.
So this is the talking point.
And I had to explain it because she came back and said in this text message, well, I guess Hillary was listening.
No.
No, it's the other way around.
This is the Hillary camp planting shit into your little college network of communications.
This is what they do.
This is how everyone does it.
And it's sad that that's not recognized.
It is exactly the same.
It's recognized by the people that listen to our show.
The people who don't listen to our show?
No, I say, anyone who listens to our show recognizes these talking points as they emerge.
Exactly, exactly.
But then Hillary made a big cock-up on, what was this?
Was this, I think it was CBS? And you have to look at the video, you've probably seen it, to see her face when she realizes what she's done, which, strangely enough, makes her actually really likable and human, even though the reason why she's become human for a second is she realized she messed up when she said this.
You know, in 76, Jimmy Carter famously said, I will not lie to you.
Mm-hmm.
Well, I have to tell you, I have tried in every way I know how, literally, from my years as a young lawyer, all the way through my time as Secretary of State, to level with the American people.
You talk about leveling with the American people.
Have you always told the truth?
I've always tried to.
Always.
Some people are going to call that wiggle room.
Now you can see your eyes going, oh crap!
You just gave yourself, always tried to.
Jimmy Carter said, I will never lie to you.
You know, you're asking me to say, have I ever, I don't believe I ever have.
I don't believe I ever have, I don't believe I ever will.
I'm going to do the best I can to level with the American people.
I didn't, the cookies, I didn't take them, it's not me.
She sounds like a little kid, but that's bad.
That's worse than the barking, as far as I'm concerned.
Well, she also had, I thought it was a bad play when she was doing the caucusing, floating around Nevada, and she had a big crowd that actually, she pretty much had the crowd in her grasp.
And then she kind of, the crowd turned on her.
Yeah, I saw this.
this.
I know which clip it is.
Tomorrow's caucus.
Senator Sanders wasn't really a Democrat until he decided to run for president.
He doesn't even know what the last two Democratic presidents did.
Well, it's true.
It's true.
You know it's true.
It's true.
It's true.
What was he then?
What was he?
He was an independent.
Oh, okay.
And he was in the Senate.
He was one of the parties, and then he turned independent so he can get on better committees.
Yeah, right, right, right.
And then he stayed independent, and he ran as an independent, but he's always been a socialist Democrat.
He's a socialist.
Does anyone doubt his credentials as a Democrat?
If he wants to be a Democrat, call himself a Democrat?
There's a...
The counter to that, by the way, I have to play the Bernie clip.
This is Bernie's kind of humorous.
And this is the thing that he's got.
He's got to do more of this sort of thing because he's almost like a stand-up comic when he does his storytelling.
This is Bernie Tell's anecdote.
This is a similar meeting.
Sanders drawing laughter after this.
Gloria Steinem.
Everybody knows Gloria.
He's one of the leading feminists in America.
Made me an honorary woman many, many years ago.
I don't know exactly what that meant, but I accepted it.
Let me put Bernice.
Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Made me an honorary woman.
Yeah, that's pretty sad.
Here I have, after Susan Sarandon's, you know, beautiful intro to Bernie Sanders.
Unsold and pure.
I thought I had that ISO'd.
Opportunity to make that man our choice for the President of the United States.
Just wanted to hear it again.
You know, change is difficult.
And what this man is asking of us is to be the machine now.
I give you Bernie Sanders.
We should line her up with that kid that was the Kasich need.
She needs a hug.
But Dick Van Dyke was on the Chris Matthews show.
First of all, Dick Van Dyke looks great.
He's 90.
He looks, you know, 60.
I gotta know what his secret is.
The guy looks fantastic.
He weighed in on the socialist thing, which I thought had an interesting perspective.
Just Dick Van Dyke, you know, I have all kinds of things that he's a douchebag, but you gotta like him.
Just for, I don't know, I like him.
Mr.
Van Dyke, what made you come out, come out, not come out the other way, but come out so much for Bernie Sanders?
And I love the little flub there.
What made you come out for Hillary?
What's in the script?
Bernie Sanders.
Come out so much for Bernie Sanders.
Well, I haven't campaigned since Eugene McCarthy, so you know how political I am.
I'm 90 degrees, 90 years old, so I like to give a hand to young aspiring politicians like Bernie.
Bernie has lit a fire that's been lit a lot of times over the last hundred years, but always got sidelined or squelched.
But somehow Bernie has caught the eye in the minds of young people.
And I think this time it's going to happen.
We've got to put him in the White House.
He's a New Deal Democrat.
I was there back in the 30s and the 40s.
Bernie is a New Deal Democrat.
So you don't think much of his self-description as a socialist, democratic socialist, that means to you just liberal Democrat?
I don't think young people are bothered so much by that word of socialism.
Yeah, I agree.
There used to be class along with communist and Nazi and fascist, but socialism has a whole different connotation now, thanks to countries like Sweden.
Sweden?
I don't...
He must be banging some hot Swedish chick up there.
I don't know why he got that all of a sudden.
But there is something that needs to be discussed briefly.
That whenever this...
You know, the topic of Bernie and democratic socialist or socialism or anything comes up.
I keep reading everywhere.
Well, Social Security is a social program.
How do you like socialism?
Yeah.
I think I need to disagree that Social Security is a socialist program.
If anything, it's a capitalist program.
Or am I completely off base here?
I would think you're off base.
But you could probably make the argument.
I think it's an argument that could be made.
Isn't it just deferred payment?
I mean, you put money in, you never get out what you put into it, but it's deferred payment.
It's like a saving program.
It's like a forced insurance.
Yeah, it is insurance.
Well, the socialist system requires you to put a lot of money in the system, too.
Socialism means the government controls production, the government controls distribution.
That's communism.
Okay, well, then there's...
I can't refute.
Okay, well, then work on it.
I think it's a debate I'd love to have.
Yeah, I... Someday in the future.
You're saying Social Security is Socialism?
No, it would be that way if everyone got the same Social Security.
The same amount.
No, it's just still Socialism.
It's just not perfect.
But Medicare for sure.
You don't pay for Medicare.
Well, you do.
You pay a token amount out of Social Security.
Yeah, and you get a token amount back.
That sounds about right.
Yeah, you don't get a token back.
All right.
I'm not going to argue.
I am going to look into it.
It's what he self-described, and it's not a big deal, and nobody really cares.
I think you hit the nail on the head, or somebody, either you or JC, one of them, I think you did on a show about three shows ago, but something he'd say too, which is the only reason people or the kids are all in on Bernie's free school.
And I knew that Hillary would, once she won, I knew that she would start weaseling in on Bernie's territory.
Now she's a little flake.
She's not saying free school, but now she's saying we have to make it so that you don't pay any more than you can afford, which is kind of what it's supposed to be today, which is not...
Well, I'm assuming that she's got the same approach that Bill Clinton had.
Just stop for one second, John.
Chat room.
This is a conversation.
We talk about stuff.
Okay?
Well, who in the chat room is complaining?
He's so uninformed.
You don't know what you're doing.
You know what?
Fuck you.
I'm out.
Goodbye.
Idiots.
Can't stand it.
You can't say anything without people...
This is what...
The whole world is like this.
Everyone's so...
We're so much better than everybody else.
Can't even bring up a conversation.
Anyway, let's continue this thing.
Where was I? I don't know, but I... It interrupted me, and now I lost my train of thought because of the chat room.
I had a profound thing to say.
About socialism.
No, about the Clintons.
Okay.
About socialism.
You got it.
You're back.
The Clintons steal ideas.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, of course.
Anything that works.
I mean, they would take, you know, the Republican ideas and call them their own.
And I'm surprised that Hillary hasn't taken all of Bernie's ideas and just said, yeah, Bernie's got a good idea.
I'm all in on it.
Free education for everybody.
That would be great.
That's what she needs to do.
That's all that counts.
If she can come up with a way of saying free without it actually being free, that would work too.
Well...
It would be free!
You should do Obama's thing, just promise a bunch of crap before you get elected and never execute any of it.
I got a lot of email, by the way, about this.
First of all, I hope you saw the animated gif of Hillary toking on the bomb when she's coughing like this.
I sent it to you.
I saw the gif, but I didn't see the animated version.
That's great.
I was thinking about this.
And I got a lot of interesting emails, but one is, and we have doctors, plenty of doctors who listen to the show, her symptoms of what she displayed on stage, of course it could have just been a very bad cold, but I have several doctors, some veterinarians too, saying she has possibly COPD or even worse, chronic heart failure.
And this is exactly the type of symptom you'd see.
Chronic bronchitis, emphysema, the airways that extend from the trachea into the lungs become irritated.
Emphysema occurs when serious damage is done to the tiny air sacs.
And someone else said she might have a whooping cough with barnyard cough or something.
Oh yeah, there's a barnyard cough.
It's got a name.
I can't remember what it is.
And she's been floating around Iowa.
You can get it there.
It's the swine flu.
She's going to have a lot of meetings in Barnes.
She's got the swine flu is what she got.
But what surprised me is here is a 69-year-old woman.
And she's hacking her lungs up on stage.
As I was listening back to the show, I'm like, why?
Was there not a single person who gives a shit about this woman and says, hey, Hillary, are you okay?
Come up on stage.
Hey, let's just give her a second.
No, none of that.
Is everyone afraid?
What is going on that everybody hates her?
Like, oh, good.
I can't wait till she...
Maybe she'll drop dead.
Yeah, she'll drop dead, hack up a lung and die.
That's what it seems like.
There's got to be RNC reps.
But where's Uma?
Where's Uma?
Yeah, Uma should have rushed up there with a glass of water or something.
Yes, her body man.
Yeah, exactly.
We've seen this before.
People, you know, they're coughing.
I mentioned it on the show, which is the guy's tearing up up there and nobody brings him a tissue.
Or a guy sniveling.
And he's got to wipe his hand over his nose because he's got...
Where's somebody with a tissue?
Exactly.
I mean, you're up on stage with a bunch of...
I know one thing that does happen when you...
I've noticed this.
A lot of people are afraid to rush up on the stage.
I was just about to say, this is still some very strange, leftover, people having respect for live television, which of course is completely unnecessary.
Oh, it's on television.
Oh, no, we're on television.
I think you're right.
I think that may be that, too.
People are afraid to do that because maybe they would be scolded.
I have no idea.
It's bizarre.
I've seen it over and over, and I'm seeing more of it.
Where's the tissue?
Where's a cup of water?
What does it take to give a guy some water?
And I really don't care too much about Hillary Clinton, but just from a human being perspective, Come on, people.
Strange.
She's not beloved inside her own camp.
Well, I think she's mean.
But here's another thing that gets me.
You hear about her being mean, and she hates the Secret Service, and she berates people, and she gets all worked up.
Where's the video?
Where is an audio tape of this?
Are we saving it for the election?
Wait a minute.
A video tape of what?
Of Hillary blowing up.
Yeah, it may not be there.
I don't know.
There has to be.
She's surrounded by people constantly.
There's got to be somebody with a pair of glasses that records everything, or somebody with their phone recorder turned on.
I mean, there's no way you can get away with being a complete jerk, which is what they describe her as, especially the Secret Service people, without having some evidence of this.
I bet she runs a tight ship, though.
I'm pretty sure stuff doesn't leak out easily from her camp.
Well...
Anyway, so there's another debate tonight.
No, it's just a town hall tonight.
Isn't there another debate on Tuesday?
It's annoying.
It's become unfun.
We need to do something.
I mean, even the Supreme Court thing has kind of fallen off the radar.
Yeah, I agree.
Although, I did catch this, Jeffrey.
Before you go off topic, I want to stay on this just for one more clip.
Sure.
Maybe two.
But this was a clip.
I only want to play this clip because to remind us both and the audience a very important fact that has cropped up because of this election.
This is a very short clip where on CNN they're discussing how Bush just quit.
Bailed out.
And this is the Bush quits, and there's a comment on the 150, just a casual comment was made.
Bush as well, a very bad night for him.
The end of a long road for Governor Bush.
Athena, thank you so much.
$150 million.
If you add the pack up.
The definition of a war chest.
Unbelievable amount of money spent for a campaign that really never got off the ground.
What happens next to all of that?
Where was that?
7.8% in South Carolina?
Where does that support move?
Okay, the reminder is Citizens United, Koch brothers.
Oh, these guys are going to buy all the elections.
This guy had $150 million right from the get-go.
He had $40 million in one chest.
He had a pack, a huge super pack.
Spent all this money, got nowhere.
So where is that argument that we're going to continue to hear on Democracy Now!
and every place else about Citizens United?
Well, now we have three examples.
We have Donald Trump, self-financed.
We have Bernie Sanders, although he's not entirely truthful because he does have a PAC, at least one, the nurses' union, giving him millions of dollars.
And exactly as you say, all this money went into Bush.
Where is it?
Where's the results?
It's not true.
At least not this election cycle.
And in general, I call it money ball, but I'm not going to do that anymore.
It is probably kind of the wrong analogy.
But all I... It's so cynical.
The news media is just blatantly saying, well, if you have money, then you win.
If you have money, then you win.
Oh, you got this money.
They got money.
This money.
All this money.
They say that.
Because the money's going to them.
Exactly.
That's how you win.
The whole Citizens United scam is all about the media.
And it's crazy.
It's so blatant.
It's so in your face.
It's so obvious how this works.
Yeah, well.
It'll take a billion dollars.
Whoever's going to win, it'll take a billion.
It always does.
Well, we'll see.
I just have the one last clip.
Okay.
And this is the clip which I thought was interesting, one of the more entertaining clips.
Actually, there's two clips.
One was a woman, there's a woman that talked about the pollings.
And I thought, this is just a clip to scold people.
And this is the, where's the polling?
I have, poll watch?
Poll watching?
Poll sitting?
Poll sitting?
Poll sitting.
Poll watching and who to vote for.
Yeah, that would play this.
They told us their vote may not go to the candidate they want, but rather the person they think can win.
Do any of you believe in the polls?
Yeah, I do.
So what do the polls tell you right now?
Well, they're telling me that it's probably going to be between Trump and Cruz.
I was really liking Ben Carson, but poll-wise, I don't really think he's going to do so well any longer.
So you're influenced by the polls.
You may not vote for him.
Right.
I think it may be a wasted vote.
So I may go elsewhere.
How about you, Robert?
I can't help it.
I'm looking at who has the best chance of winning.
Yeah, exactly.
This is what it is.
Who has the best chance?
My vote won't count.
It has become so cynical.
So cynical.
This is pathetic.
This is not the way you're supposed to vote.
But also, somehow, these people sounded like they were under 30.
They're all 30-ish.
The polls have become like this, you know, just like big data, like it's fact, like 97% of all scientists agree.
You know, it's just become one, oh, well, the poll must be right.
Whereas we know the polls are only, probably what the NBC News Wall Street Journal poll was about, was getting some of that cruise cash.
Yeah, before he's still in the race.
Yeah, trying to get some of that cash out of him.
It's so cynical.
It really is very cynical.
Well, I feel it's just that people should know that you vote for who you think, who you want to be there, even though he's a long shot.
Yeah, of course.
That makes it clear to the people that analyze the votes.
A lot of people like this guy.
Yeah, if you get that kind of analysis.
You're not hired to be a strategist.
It's above your pay grade of no pay.
Let me strategize this out.
Well, if I vote for him, it won't be a vote lost, and I think he has a better chance of beating so-and-so and all that sort of thing.
You just vote for who you're supposed to vote, who you feel like voting for.
You don't strategize your vote.
And part of this, and I'm calling it a distraction, because we know that nothing is really final until we have the nominees from the conventions But the superdelegates left and right and Debbie Wasserman knick-knock shows up and she explains it again and again and explains it to Rachel.
She's nauseating.
So Scalia's funeral was over the weekend.
The president did not attend, which, oh boy, so horribly he didn't attend.
Whatever, don't care.
What was really offensive was Jeffrey Toobin.
Who, he's kind of the go-to lawyer, I guess, for CNN. He's one of them.
He's a douche.
And so they're doing live play-by-play of Scalia's funeral.
Live play-by-play?
Yeah, yeah, live play-by-play.
He's coming up to the green.
Well, it's even, listen to what this a-hole says.
So the guy's dead.
You know, he's heralded by a large percentage of Uh, the country as, you know, a great guy.
The other half hates him, wanted him dead, apparently.
Mainly Democrats.
They were quite vocal on Facebook.
You know, even stuff like, more Republicans should go to Texas.
You know, stuff like that.
It was really quite low.
But listen how far Toobin went.
Many of Supreme Court law clerks go on to prominent positions in the legal community.
In that group, among them, are possible Supreme Court nominees themselves.
People like Paul Clement, who clerked for Justice Scalia.
So you see all these clerks are standing outside, you know, kind of like an honor guard for the justice.
He was President George W. Bush's Solicitor General.
Jeffrey Sutton, another prominent judge on the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals, is there.
Paul Cappuccio, who was the general counsel to our parent company, Time Warner, is in that group.
I think you have to say, as you can look, an overwhelmingly white male group, Justice Scalia.
Almost all of his clerks were white men, as you can see, in that group.
Why didn't you say he was a racist?
Hated women, hated blacks, hated browns.
Just a horrible a-hole.
That's unbelievable.
The guy is at his funeral.
As you can see, he was a racist.
Yeah, nothing but young white boys.
Maybe he was a homo.
I don't know.
Jeffrey Toobin, what an a-hole.
Unbelievable.
That is bad.
That's just really, really, really good catch.
And no one pushes back.
Nobody pushes back on anything.
Imagine, oh, there's John C. Dvorak.
Yes, he was great.
As you can see, he mainly has white male friends.
Yes, we're so, yeah, yeah.
What's wrong with him?
Yeah, what is wrong with him?
Well, with that, I'd like to thank you for your courage and passion, send you love and light, and say, in the morning to you, John C., where the C stands for Caucasian Dvorak.
Well, in the morning to you, Mr.
Adam Curry.
Also, in the morning, all ships and sea boots on the ground, subs in the water, all the names of knights out there.
Hey, in the morning to everybody.
Oh, no, I don't say that.
They're in purgatory.
Chatroom purgatory.
No chatroom, thanks, today.
Thank you to our artists.
We had Hassan Maynard, who brought the artwork for episode number 800.
Which was...
It was a nice piece.
This was the records.
It was a great piece.
Got a lot of compliments.
Yeah, it was the vinyl...
Although someone said, what a safe piece of art you chose for Apple.
No, this had nothing to do with Apple.
Apple?
Yeah, people thought that we had chosen this safe piece of art for Apple.
No, the Apple art was...
What's 800 got to do with Apple?
No, it was just safe.
It was safe.
I don't know.
I'm done with people complaining at me.
I've got enough to deal with.
Huh?
Yeah, I'm a little crabby about this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just saying.
I guess the night of candles didn't go off so well.
The black coffee in bed was great, but the candles just didn't work.
That's probably what got me off on the wrong foot.
That comment alone.
That would do it.
But I do want to send everyone to noagendaartgenerator.com.
That's where you can submit your artwork.
And we appreciate all of the work that the artists do.
All artists.
And even though Nick didn't get our 800 or the iTunes, I do want to give him a quick little promo.
Nick the Rat now is doing Rat Radio.
Go to NickTheRat.com.
They listen to any one of those shows.
It is the trippiest crap I've ever heard.
Really?
Oh my God.
He plays like this loungy techno crazy music.
And then he's just like Tourette's-ing through it.
Like, going to the moon.
Space elevator.
Now that you mention it, I might as well read this note.
This is from Gary.
Nick.
Well, I'm not having to listen to it.
I actually thought of you.
John would probably like it.
Probably might.
Yeah, I enjoyed it.
It was very trippy.
I'd just like to let you know that I've set up the perfect subscription, 33.33.
That's less than three pounds, I guess, this show.
So great a value for the money, in my opinion, so great a value.
A friend of mine and I were toying with the idea of starting a podcast, but then we heard yours and realized that we simply couldn't compete.
Oh, no, that's not true.
We listened to the Seed Man, but couldn't stay angry for that long.
We listen to Freedom Fiends or something.
I don't know what that is.
I should, but I don't.
And question whether we were weird enough.
Well, maybe Nick's going to take that place there.
We listen to the survival podcast and realize that we couldn't afford to survive.
Yeah.
So we gave up before we started.
He's now working on a project to import Belgium into Britain, as if my homebrew isn't enough.
Well, I continue writing my news blog at another.me.
You just started breaking up, John, for some crazy reason.
I'm not sure.
Well, keep an eye on it.
There's no reason for it to exist.
It's because someone's trying to interfere with my reading of the donations.
That would be it.
It's Harry's razor.
They don't want you to do donations.
I got a note here from...
Where's my note?
From Alyssa.
Oh, here it is.
This is Alyssa Carnes, I guess.
What's her last name?
Karunas.
Karunas.
Yeah, Karunas.
Karunas.
Yeah, something like that.
She's in Allentown, Pennsylvania.
$543.23.
54321.
Nice.
54321.
She's got it on the ball.
She sent in a handwritten, handwritten, longhand note.
Mm-hmm.
I've been a douchebag for too long.
Please accept this first time donation with a dedouching of my horrible passive bystander bourgeois self.
I listened to a show passively in high school and now as a college student I'm hooked.
She's a college student.
Wow.
And she can write in longhand, and she gave 54321.
I've been meaning to hit my sister in the mouth, but I've been feeling too guilty without donating myself.
Being a college student, you don't have to donate to hit someone in the mouth.
But it's okay.
It's good.
Being a college student in the blue state of Washington, having grown up in a purple state, has really tested my nerves.
You're the only people that...
Bring me sanity and honesty, and honest conversation, she writes it out, about this crazy election pageant.
Hopefully, this money reaches you on the Sunday after your 800th show.
As you have said, donations tend to taper off after significant days.
She's smart.
Congrats on 800 episodes.
Wishing you all the best.
And she says, P.S. I'm a vegan, and Who went to a performing arts charter high school.
Oh, man.
I am more than willing to answer any questions the No Agenda world might have about either of these things.
Anyway, thank you.
Do vegans eat bugs?
I don't think so.
No.
Okay.
So she's de-douching into karma, I presume, at the very least.
You've been de-douched.
Happy to do that.
Always happy to handle the karma.
You've got karma.
That's right.
L of the One Tree Hill in Yattalunga, South Australia.
It's AJ. AJ of the One Tree Hill.
What did I say?
You said Al.
I did?
Yeah.
Oh, AJ. Call me AJ the One Tree Hill.
I want karma food, my heart's working...
My hard...
What?
I want karma food, my heart's working wife tea, and want the whoopie poopie fart twice, followed by the now-banned please clap.
It will become my ringtone.
What?
It's been banned.
I think on request we can play it.
Okay, it wants Whoopi and then what else?
It wants Whoopi to fart.
It wants it twice?
The Whoopi people fart twice.
That's what it says.
Okay, well, I'll do it.
One, two.
Please clap.
I get it now.
Oh, I get it.
It took me a minute.
Now I get it.
It was funny.
Those Aussies.
They tricked me.
They tricked me again.
Adrian Sprunk.
Adrian.
Adrian Sprunk.
Adrian Sprunk in Zwolle.
Zwolle.
Zwolle.
33333 is in the Netherlands.
Hi, guys.
Congratulations on eight episodes.
It will become my ringtone.
Sorry.
Hi, guys.
I've been listening.
Thanks to Mark named Ben.
To the Mark named Ben.
Yeah, that's void zero.
Am I reading this right?
Everyone's talking in riddles?
Yes.
It's Mark named Ben.
Yeah.
Dude named Mark.
Okay.
The show means a lot to us.
Up to the next 800 IPS. Mark, give me a call.
We need to talk.
Oh, don't read on the air.
For Adam something.
Okay, done.
Give him whatever he wants.
I'll make sure it happens.
Yes, very good.
Thank you, Adrian.
Thank you for your trifecta of trees.
Sir Ready Kilowatt, $201.73.
We dropped right immediately to the associate executive producers in Battlemont, Mesa, Colorado.
Sir Ready Kilowatt in the chat room, or was she just hung up on her?
K-O-J-E-J-G. 800 quarters plus a dollar.
.73 for K5ACC. Ugh.
ITM, guys.
Delayed my annual tax refund donation until the show 801, but just because it's a big boner day, it's usually fairly tight.
I've been doing a lot of fast-forwarding of the show lately, but I don't know it's your fault.
The election pageant has been especially terrible this year, mostly due to the media's obsession with making it a reality TV show.
Your few minutes of tech news more than makes up for it, especially when other tech podcasts are spending hours discussing watch bands.
It's possible that like a North Korean newsletter, newscaster, you know that one, right?
The North Korean newscaster?
Yeah, I got it.
And oh my god, juice lady, but overlap and duck the newscaster as if the juice lady was translating.
Man.
Well.
You know what he's talking about, right?
I know what he's talking about, but I don't want to see if I can do it.
I'll try it with this one.
It might work a little bit better.
Here she comes.
Come on, lady.
Where is the...
What would you have called the North Korean lady?
I have no idea.
Lady?
Oh, yeah.
Maybe this is...
No, these are the GX... Huh.
Yeah.
Maybe it was a North Korean lady?
Was it part of the rocket?
Tonight the U.S.? I don't know, man.
I'll try and find it for the end.
This is horrible.
I'm sorry.
Oh my gosh!
Can you see that juice?
You've got karma.
Yeah, sorry about that.
I'll work on it.
I don't know.
I have a good one here.
Sandra Ferrara in New York City, 200 bucks.
Can you read the note?
Uh, yes.
ITM, here's my first and not last producer-level donation.
Just want to thank you for all your hard work.
We can all tell that you put a lot of effort and care into each episode, and that is why my boyfriend Pedro and I never miss a show.
Can you please send us some Jobs Karma and a Chemtrails?
Plus, can you see that juice to keep our love high and fluid?
Thanks.
From Sandra, third douchebag call-out for Hugo Pinto.
Douchebag!
And now I have to find out what she wanted.
She wanted Jobs Karma...
This is why it's not good for me to read this.
No, I understand that, but I'll tell you, you want to know what happened?
Sure.
Okay, so I'm sitting here as we're looking through for the other clip for the Korean lady, and my keyboard's kind of down on the ground, and I guess I kicked up against it, and it was in that cell, and it just erased everything and put a bunch of U's.
So I actually pushed my foot up against the keyboard and it erased that cell.
Okay, I understand what you're saying.
Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs.
Let's vote for jobs!
Oh my gosh!
Can you see that juice?
We've got karma.
There we go.
Donald Winkler in Berlin, Deutschland.
$200.
This donation makes me a proud knight of the No Agenda Roundtable.
Please see my email for accounting, my desired name as a knight, and some jingle requests.
Let's take a look for that.
Donald Winkler?
Winkler.
I may have something from the Donald.
Here we go.
Oh, this was a long note.
From now on, I want to be referred to as Sir Donald Winkler, Knight of the Bohemian Forest and the Berghain Realm?
B-E-R-G-H-A-I-N? I don't know.
How do you pronounce it, is my question.
The Berghain Realm?
Hmm...
Donald Winkler, Donation Plus, Reaches Knighthood Status.
The Bohemian Forest and the Burghain Realm.
It's quite a long note.
I started listening a long time ago to the Best Podcast.
Two or three years ago.
I haven't missed this episode.
I've been contributing quite well-received to Jingle.
I bombed them Jingle with rock music in the back.
We can play it at the end, by the way.
And even Artworks was once selected.
He had artwork selected.
I also enjoyed backlisting to the old episodes starting from show...
I hate to encourage people to do that.
I can only recommend that to anyone who loves the show.
It's fascinating.
Oh, if anybody...
Let's see, what was it again?
I'll think about it later, but I have a request for anyone who pulls this stunt, you know, and starts listening from the beginning, some stuff to look for so I can find out what show it was in.
Yeah.
In other words, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
No, you don't.
No, you know why?
Because I'm looking at his note, and there's so much he wants...
Give him a de-douching and a Memphis one.
He doesn't know.
He's very clear in his note.
He wants de-douching, then who knows what it's good for.
I have no idea what that means.
Hey, Citizen, chemtrails in the morning, the scream.
Hey Citizen Chemtrails in the morning to scream.
Okay.
So, hey Citizen Chemtrails.
You've been de-douched.
In the morning.
There we go.
You've got karma.
Thank you.
Quite a lot to do here.
Yeah.
But thanks.
And we love Berlin.
And we'll be seeing you at the...
At the what?
At the knighting ceremony.
Oh, I thought you were going to go to Berlin.
Yeah, I'll see you in Berlin at the knighting ceremony.
Exactly.
He also has a birthday, though, I see.
Geez.
Thanks.
Is that why he looks...
He's on there?
Is he on the birthday?
No.
Okay, well, you put that on there where I read Dwight Chick.
In Dundas, Ontario, Canada, $200.
And he's got a birthday shout-out, which we have listed.
It's already good to go.
He wants $200 to go to his brother, Doug Snighhood.
You have to keep the accounting, my friend.
Thanks for hitting me in the mouth last year, I guess, to his brother.
Can I get a de-douching and fear is freedom.
Thanks for all the great laughs.
Yeah, I think so.
Here we go.
You've been de-douched.
We must acknowledge...
This is not a good day.
No, it's hilarious, though.
It's not hilarious.
Far from it.
Subjugation is liberation.
Contradiction is truth.
Those are the facts of this world.
And you will all surrender to them.
You pigs in human clothing!
You've got karma. .
I blame it all on AJ of the One Tree Hill.
I'm not sure why this note didn't show up and his birthday didn't show up and all this stuff, so it just makes it a little more complicated.
Doing stuff on the fly.
Okay, we're good.
We're back.
Here we go.
Are we done?
No, we have more.
We have Jaron Huddings.
Yeroon Hutingha.
Yeroon Hutingha.
Gah.
Hutingha.
In Athens, Georgia, 200 bucks.
ITM, congratulations.
800 shows is nothing less than impressive.
Keep it up.
You're direly needed these days.
Please accept my support and send me some generic job karma as I need to extend my current contract.
As a jingle, I'd like some no, no, no, no, no song ISO. Sir, uh, Hieronymus, this is Sir.
No, no, no, song ISO? I have no idea.
I got a song.
Okay, you know what?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs. Let's vote for jobs. jobs, and jobs. Let's vote for jobs.
You've got karma.
He's better known as Sir Eronymous.
Oh, okay.
Gotcha.
All right, we're done.
Excellent.
Well, thank you to our executive producers of episode number 801.
That's right.
801 episodes going strong.
Also, thank you to our associate executive producers.
These are real credits.
You can place them anywhere.
Credits are recognized.
Your LinkedIn, your IMDB. Unlike the douchebags in Hollywood, we will gladly vote for you.
And please remember, we have another show coming up on Thursday.
On Thursday.
On Thursday.
Dvorak.org slash NA. Come on, everybody.
I need a little bit of help.
You know, I'm failing here at the board, so go out and propagate the formula.
Our formula is this.
We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
Oh, man.
Hi.
Hey, citizens.
Shut up, slay.
Look at that old dog.
Wow.
I'm going to celebrate.
I'm going to celebrate.
You're celebrating what?
Oh, no.
Okay.
Uh-huh.
How's that for entertainment?
That's top-notch, Johnny boy.
That is top-notch indeed.
Oh, actually, I had a couple of PR mentions.
We have two meetups taking place.
We have one coming up in San Francisco on February 29th.
So go to meetup.com slash noagenda to find out about that.
And it looks like we have a Fayetteville meetup arranged.
As Tina, the Keeper, and I will be going to Fayetteville, Arkansas after the show Thursday evening.
And we're taking the Airstream of Consciousness.
I'm not quite sure yet where we're going to be parking, but there will be a meet-up, and it looks like we already have 14 or 15 human resources registered for that, so that's very cool.
And don't forget to always ask Adam if you can get a tour.
Yeah, a tour of the trailer.
A tour of the trailer.
Please, if you bring any notes or anything you want to share, put it in an envelope with your name on it so we can talk about it on the show.
And details to follow, I guess.
All donations should be in an envelope.
Yes, in an envelope as well.
And we love the cards.
We love the little cards that people send them.
It's perfect.
Also, shout out to Mountain Vortex, M-T-N-V-O-R-T-O-X, who is also now working on keeping our infrastructure up and running with Void Zero, so we appreciate the work he's doing.
Just more people helping the best podcasts in the universe.
Also, Dame Angela Castaneda.
You recall she organized the tour.
The last tour we did.
Oh yes, right.
The complex tour.
The complex tour.
Yeah, you went up and down.
And she said, hey, I will be more than happy, more than happy to do anything you need to get your campaign going.
But I've really done some research and it turns out, yes, I could have my 500 signatures if I wanted to run for Congress in the 21st District of Texas.
However, you need to file your intent by December 14th of the previous year.
So, we're going to have to wait two years.
I know, I'm pissed off.
I was so sure I didn't have to, that wasn't a requirement, but it is.
I know.
I know.
I'm disappointed too.
Yeah, this is bull crap.
You have to file intent like over a year in advance.
Yeah, December 14th, 2015.
Yeah, I'm disappointed.
Because there were people showing up who wanted to get signatures.
Well, it's okay.
If we're still around, God willing, then we can always do it for the 2018 cycle?
2018?
My God.
Who can even think that far ahead?
That'll be after the Depression, so you can get probably a lot of support then.
Yeah.
Alright, do you want to talk about this Apple thing?
Because I did a lot of work.
Yeah, might as well.
Trump wants to boycott Apple.
Yeah, so there's a couple things going on here, and one thing really struck me, it took me a while to kind of figure it out, because what is really odd about, there's a couple things that are odd with this scenario.
The first one is the very strongly worded public statement from Tom Collins, Cook, Tim thing, which really insinuated that the government wants to put a backdoor on the iPhone.
Which is technically, we know now from the court documents, and I can see now that, you know, finally Ars Technica, Ebb Slash Dodd, and, you know, some people with some actual technical skills came in and said, hold on a second, this is not exactly what is being asked of Apple.
They're being asked to do something else.
So I spent a lot of time conversing with dudes named Ben, looking at another small anomaly which popped up about the iPhone in question belonging to the dead Sam Bernardino shooter, that a password reset had been requested, and so there's some annoying things about that as well.
But the first thing, what I really realized is that I'm going to say Tim Cook, a guy like that doesn't make a public statement unless it's for the company.
You said maybe he just lost his cool.
I don't think so.
Did I say that?
I don't remember saying that.
You said he probably lost his cool and didn't check or something.
It was an odd note, an odd letter.
But Apple, you know, companies like Apple, these multi-billion dollar companies, they only do things for one reason and one reason only is for the health of the company.
So, you know, you may think he's a big patriot.
I'm not so sure.
He's doing stuff for the company.
And what I realize is you're really going in.
This country is so patriotic.
They bring that money back into the country.
They have like trillions overseas.
Well, exactly.
What I really expect, if this were an Ayn Rand novel, you know, then we'd see Tim Cook close the company and disappear.
Yeah, and go live in the Grand Canyon.
In the Gulch.
Yeah, in Gulch, Gulch.
Now, just briefly from the technical standpoint, what is actually being asked is not a circumvention of encryption.
And what I'm seeing with Tim Cook's message is he is obfuscating, intentionally or not, obfuscating the obvious security hole that Apple has created by default in its systems.
And that is the passcode.
So when you have an iPhone, and I believe it is still standard to have a four numeric digit passcode to get into it, two things happen when you enter the correct passcode.
And this happens in the so-called secure enclave, which is hard-coded into the chip, and there's a lot of cool stuff they've done there.
And it's kind of like if you just presume everything on your iPhone is encrypted and it has a big master key and a big lock that you have to have the right key and insert that and then you can turn it.
But the passcode that Apple has implemented, which also is a part of crypto technology, It's extremely weak.
And it is intended to turn the big key.
There's two different secure enclaves and different things happen.
That's how you can or cannot load software or do certain things.
But having a four...
digit passcode, which is very convenient for people, is inherently insecure because it only takes about 10,000 guesses to figure out what your passcode is.
And Apple, of course, knows this, and they did two things.
This is the part that I didn't realize.
You can customize your passcode onto your phone with six digits.
You can have any random number of digits, or you can have a complete alphanumeric string, I think as long as you want it to be.
And the longer it is, and there's also a lot of crypto things you can do, certain characters, and that will take longer for brute force cracking to take place.
So Apple, realizing that they really don't have a secure environment, Because once you can go and start hacking again, basically using a brute force crack, which is the same that would happen if the FBI or NSA had one of your emails and you had it encrypted, if they really wanted to find out what it was, they would have to go into a brute force crack mode, and it takes time to do that.
But what Apple did, and then went off and claimed, we can't do anything, it's your data, we have nothing to do with it, it's your secure, we're all good, Because the four-digit passcode is so inherently insecure, they built in a number of tries you can have, which is 10, before the device erases itself, if you have that setting on.
And with each attempt, they build in a time delay.
So the first, second, third times you enter the wrong passcode, Then you get a one minute delay.
The next time is a five minute delay.
Then you get an hour delay.
And before you know it, there's really long delays because it keeps warning you.
If you do this two more times, you'll be at 10.
We're going to have to erase all the data on the device.
So what Apple is really saying is they don't want the FBI to force them to disable, not cryptology, But to disable these little steps that they've kind of thrown in front of you if you want to go and brute force this device.
Whereas really, and so now we're into it's privacy versus security.
No.
It is convenience That Apple is giving you.
Because, of course, if your phone is locked and you have to enter 256 characters to unlock it, no one wants to do that.
But that would actually be secure and you wouldn't really even need these little delays that are built into the iPhone's access into the secure system.
So this brings up two main points.
One...
Why is Apple saying that this is weakening their encryption?
Because it's not.
the passcode entry is a hurdle, but it's not a cryptology hurdle.
They have a backdoor.
They have a huge gaping hole right there, which anyone, if you want your iPhone to be secure, whether or not they have a delay in it, whether or not they have erase functions or not, you need a much larger passcode, passphrase, in order to have the cryptography work to any degree.
So when I hear Tim Cook and when I read what he's saying, and in fact, I'm going to play a clip just to break up my own monotonous tone.
He's even using the gay card to slam the government on this.
People have entrusted us with their most personal and precious information.
We owe them nothing less than the best protections that we can possibly provide.
By harnessing the technology at our disposal and working together as businesses, governments, and citizens, we believe we can bring about a future that fully embraces both privacy and security.
Which, in recent memory, he said, well, we don't have to choose.
It shouldn't be that choice.
Now he's saying we need that choice, and here's his example.
We must get this right.
History has shown us that sacrificing our right to privacy can have dire consequences.
We still live in a world where all people are not treated equally.
Too many people do not feel free to practice their religion or express their opinion.
Or love who they choose.
Say it again!
Or love who they choose.
We got it.
A world in which that information...
Did you say it twice?
...can make the difference...
Yes, he did.
...between life and death.
So what he's saying is that in countries around the world, if you're gay, that is the code he used, then that could mean life or death based upon your iPhone.
Yeah, Nigeria.
This is heady stuff right now.
My iPhone could get me killed.
But to say that the government wants a backdoor is specious.
They have a, they, it's pretty much a hack.
And I do not see, well, I see what, from his vantage point, I understand why he's pissed off.
But I do not see how, if we're not, if you stand up there and you say, we can't touch your information.
But really the only reason why you can't do that is because we give you convenience of four passcode digits.
and therefore we've built in all these delays and stuff.
I think the court is right to force Apple to remove their walls, because it's not cryptography.
It's removing...
And a lot of people, most people disagree with what I'm saying.
But I want to make the point clear...
That this is not a cryptography issue.
It is Apple saying, you need to be safe.
Here's what we've implemented.
And we shouldn't be forced to crack that.
They're pretty much just a system that is flawed.
Flawed.
So that's Occam's razor.
That's the real simple stuff, John.
Comey, of course, who was in New York, with his other buddy, Cyrus Vance.
You remember him?
Is he the state's attorney?
They used to work together.
They're the guys that together, as you have pointed out many times, put Martha Stewart in jail.
They have 175 iPhones ready to brute force once Apple disables these shoddy gates and hurdles they have to jump over.
They've been waiting for the right case for a long time.
In fact, here is Rand Paul, who we don't play many clips from, but he gave us a little insight into the timing of this event.
Again, this is the Occam's razor theory.
These are people who have a history of not being honest.
In fact, one of them, the general counsel, the legal counsel for the NSA, he said this about six months ago, and they have his email.
The Washington Post found this.
He said that we just need to wait until someone dies, and then we'll use that to get what we want.
Now, that brings me into some anomalies in the story that we've learned now that not only did some unnamed employee And it's a little sketchy whether it was the FBI itself or the FBI asked said unnamed employee to reset the passcode on the device.
And because of this, the device, if it was enabled, could no longer provide an automatic backup.
Now, this resetting of the password was done according to the court documents, quote, remotely.
And a couple of our producers helped out and we found out that the San Bernardino Department of Health, which is who owns the phone, they had an MDM tool, mobile device management tool, which specifically allows you to clear passcodes, reset passcodes, do anything you want as if you're right on the phone itself.
So was this issued through the MDM? Was this issued through iCloud?
I would say in case number one that if FBI really wanted to go after Apple and find the right case where somebody died...
Then if they had left this phone alone, there's a probability they may have received the most recent backup, which will pretty much include everything you need because there were backups created previously.
Then you just take it into a secure network that it knows or a known network and it starts automatically backing up.
It is possible that they said, oh crap, we can't have that.
Let's brick it so then we can go after Apple.
And I don't put it past Comey at all.
I think that's completely possible.
All right, let me try to summarize what you said.
And there's another one, yeah.
You had an explanation for the simplicity.
I think that was too long.
I think the key here was the idea...
Tell me if I'm wrong.
The FBI's got a bunch of phones, and they haven't had really the rationale or the wherewithal or the ability to get this trick that you're trying, that we're going to defeat the system, the...
Not encryption, but the hurdles.
Right, no, the stalling system.
Yeah.
The system to keep you from trying ten times.
I always recommend if anyone has someone with an iPhone, just pop in about 11 passwords.
And can I just say, I'll give you one little data point there.
The reason why you want to do that, the way Apple's encryption works...
Every single passcode, whether it's a huge passphrase or four digits, it takes about 80 milliseconds for the software internally to decrypt that.
So that is something they can't change.
That is an inherent delay, meaning if you have a passcode of 11 digits, it could take up to 250 years at that speed.
Okay, that's not really where I'm going.
It's important to know.
It's a nice...
Little thing to know, I guess.
It's about timing.
It's about how fast can something be cracked.
Let's go back to what I think is at play here.
They've got a bunch of phones that need to be decrypted, and they haven't had the leverage that they need to get this trick, this Apple patch, to get rid of the little barrier there.
Yeah, they need to...
So now they've got a terrorist.
Yes, correct.
So they can play it up.
It's a publicity stunt.
They don't give a shit about anything on that phone because there's nothing on the phone.
Probably right.
Because it's a health department phone anyway.
But then now, once they get this little trick to get a lot of the bypass...
Once they bricked it, once they brick the phone...
Well, brick or not brick, it's beside the point.
They're trying to get something on some specific phone...
That they have in that pile that you're talking about, the pile of 100 phones.
175.
175 phones.
There's a phone in there.
There's a bunch of phones.
They want to open them all.
But there's one in particular, and that's what this is all about.
It would be kind of cool to know what phone is out, is that they have, that they need to really look at.
Yeah, this we don't know.
This we don't know.
I bet you if you looked in enough newspaper, you'd find some situation that they tried.
I'm sure Apple knows what it is because they probably hounded them.
But now they've got this, this terrorist thing.
So they're leveraging terrorism once again.
Once again, to exploit something that's got nothing to do with terrorism.
This is like setting up shop at the TSA and saying, oh, it's only about terrorism, and then they bust a bunch of guys who are carrying marijuana.
This happened to John Perry Barlow.
He had a little thing of marijuana, and the next thing you know, he's talking to the police.
Well, I thought it was about terrorism.
You're putting this up for terrorism.
Stop terrorism.
No, it's got nothing to do with terrorism.
So in other words, this is essentially a scam, but it's a good one.
It's a really good one.
What I find interesting in the discourse about this is when it comes to terrorists and guns and the Second Amendment, everybody's like...
Wow, man, Second Amendment, it's a living document.
We had muskets back then.
It's a living document.
It should change.
Not everyone should have a gun.
We have to stop crazy people from having a gun.
When it comes to Apple and your iPhone and the Fourth and or Fifth Amendment, everybody's like, no, that's unconstitutional.
You can't do that.
You see the hypocrisy in this?
Hypocrisy is...
It's inconsistency.
It's not hypocrisy.
It's hypocrisy.
There's another thing.
Now, if you get into the San Bernardino shooting itself, which we have, and I went back and listened to what we discussed, There's a lot of loose ends.
There were two black SUVs.
There's three hours where someone was missing.
There's witnesses saying there were three white guys in camos.
A lot of stuff went wrong.
And this is just a crackpot scenario.
What if the following happened?
We know that the FBI is always setting up people.
So they were setting up these two crazies who, for some reason, decided that the people they had not only emailed, because the FBI does have that, not only emailed their colleagues, but they had a baby shower and And then they decided to go kill them all.
I know one of our theses was, this was an FBI op, but something happened, and this couple, they got triggered, activated, something happened.
So what if the triggering happened by some other group other than the FBI? And the FBI wants to know who the hell...
Was involved in messing and busting up their op, basically.
That could be.
I like that, actually.
I don't think it's that crackpot.
That would, besides the obvious, that would also explain.
The FBI would be able to discuss.
They're not going to come out and say that.
We had these guys set up to do a murder, but then they got triggered and they shot their buddies.
We like to know who did that.
We don't like people messing with our ops.
Something very, very wrong with that.
I don't think we're going to hear a press conference like that ever.
But from a strictly legal perspective, which is where this is going to come down to, I think Apple's in the wrong here.
And they're trying to cover it up with the government's evil.
For Tim Cook to come out, and he placed a huge distrust in the government.
Huge.
That's fine.
I think he's got a reason to do that.
They're always hassling him.
But he's only doing it because...
The trade-off is convenience.
Well, what you're saying is that this is bogus.
It's like the real reason is this other thing.
Well, how many times has Cook stood there and said, your shit's safe with Apple.
You're safe.
But it's not safe.
He messed up.
Apple messed up.
I think if you go back and you listen to the words Comey's using, data at rest, data in transit.
We don't really want a back door, a sliding door, any kind of door.
No, they already knew what they wanted from Apple.
They knew this for a while, and they were waiting for this particular instance.
I think Rand Paul may be correct that they just wanted to find something that was so big that they could turn this around, either to get one of those 175 phones.
But for me, just the bottom line...
Apple fucked up.
They're wrong.
They should have said, you want to be completely secure?
Then you need to unlock your phone every single time with 256 characters or something of that nature.
And they have the capability built in.
It's a little, little option.
It says, you know, passcode options.
You can change it.
We don't see discussed anywhere.
And I only found it because I was looking to see, wait a minute, how can you do more passcodes or do more digits?
Yeah, if you pushed it up there, you don't even need 256, but you could, you know, 50, 40, a long sentence.
And they can remove their entire hurdles, their waiting hurdles, as long as people know, look, you know, if you have to use an appropriate passcode, otherwise you're just not secure.
But they kind of hoodwinked everybody, and it turns out their little hack, their little trick was not all that great, because unless now the court decides, and that would be interesting, That using, that the method of, well, maybe it would be the type of key, I don't see how they can connect their system to cryptography.
That's what I, you know, they're not being asked for secret keys.
They're being asked to remove some barriers.
You know, if you built a warehouse and you had it locked up and, you know, triple cement and you got all kinds of steel around it and there's something inside and the court wants it, you have to open it up.
You can't say we can't because you can.
Well, that's a good one.
Okay.
That'll keep people caught up.
It'll be interesting to see how this finishes, but it probably will finish with them having to do something like what you described.
I'm quite sure, but Cook is going to...
And also, one other thing.
I only said the Ayn Rand comment was only kind of half-jokingly.
What choices does Cook at this point after that statement have?
I only won as far as I'm concerned.
And he's been wanting to do this for a while, I'll bet.
He wants to resign.
He'll quit, yeah.
I think he'll quit.
I think he'll quit over this.
And he's probably been wanting to quit.
He can't grow this company any bigger.
No, he's at the Apex.
Then you have China.
There's lots of rumors that Apple let them do a security audit, and so they know something, and they know some capabilities, possibilities.
Maybe Apple was giving away exact digital copies of people's phones to the feds up until iOS 8, and then they put in this little hurdle, and the feds went, well, that's not a real hurdle, and so now they have their reason to take it to court.
And maybe that error code, the error 53, might even have something to do with it.
It's coincidental that that crops up all part of the secure enclave and all this stuff.
And also, that is a part of Apple's convenience.
Hey, you don't want to input 256 characters?
Great.
Then you can just use your thumbprint.
What I would say, if I was Tim Cook, I would say, here's what you can do.
You keep your phone on immediate lock.
You can request and make sure that you cannot use the thumbprint.
Or you could say, use your thumbprint for your huge 256-character passcode.
If you want to be secure, shut the phone down.
Because when the phone reboots, you cannot use your thumbprint.
You have to use the code.
That's safe computing.
Put it in the book.
I'm saying he resigns over this.
Well, that's a pretty bold prediction.
He wants out anyway.
That's why he makes this big statement.
He's putting his reputation on him.
What other evidence do you have that he wants out?
I have no evidence, but it's just a feeling.
But the evidence is he can't build the company any bigger.
You know, the stock keeps sliding slowly.
Eddie Q is standing right behind him going, let me embuff.
Oh yeah, he's probably making him miserable.
I know this type of office politics.
You have the one guy who wants to take over and all he does is bad mouth you behind your back and keep saying different things.
Just slowly eats away at the confidence of the other employees.
Very common way to do it.
Right.
Now, Trump has become unelectable on his stance.
Not on his opinion, not on his ultimate opinion, but on his stance.
Because he's not taking the issue seriously.
That's an offense.
He's like, ah, fuck it, Apple should do this.
I think Trump's made a lot...
If you're going to...
Make him unelectable.
Or someone you don't think should be elected, is what you're really saying.
I'm just using the Democrat term.
He's said plenty of stupid stuff that is just like, what?
He's like, the torture thing.
You gotta do more than torture.
He's tortured these people.
This is not good.
I mean, the only thing that's positive about Trump in my mind is that he's kind of pro-Russia.
And this Russian thing is completely out of control.
Oh, man.
It's not going to get any better as long as they let the Kagans run things.
Yeah.
And Turkey is now...
Actually, I got...
We're moving away from Apple, right?
We're done with the iPhone.
Yeah, we're done with Apple.
Ashton Carter, our new Secretary of Defense, who, of course, is a guy who is just a douche.
Not trustworthy.
Not trustworthy.
He did an interview with Charlie Rose, did not talk about his sexuality in his DNA, but did tell us what is going to be happening in the next few years with our deployments overseas.
You know, for 25 years, Charlie, I came up in this business during the Cold War.
And so I remember...
You've been dealing with the Russians for a long time.
For a very long time.
And after the Soviet Union ended, there was a long period of time when, in the Department of Defense, thinking about Russia as a competitor was not something that we had to do.
And now, since what happened in Ukraine a year and a half ago, it's quite clear that, at least as long as Vladimir Putin is running the country and has the intentions he says, He has.
We are going to have a competitor in Russia.
That is meant for us in defense and for the Europeans and for NATO having to create a new playbook.
That we haven't had for a quarter century, which is one of territorial defense, deterrence against aggression of Russia into Europe, not just by traditional means, but also by what is called hybrid warfare, but is the little green men kind of phenomenon.
And, you know, I regret that problem.
How do we meet the challenge of little green men?
I thought that was interesting.
They're using this metaphor of little green men, which...
What he means by that is, you know, the so-called real Russian soldiers who were in Ukraine, although there's enough evidence, it was probably Blackwater or something.
But Rose just goes back and just says, the little green men?
I mean, little, what was it?
Infantile, I guess, is how they talk about that.
How do we meet the challenge of little green men?
Two ways.
First of all, you help these societies to harden themselves, the ones that are particularly affected by it.
That means in terms of their border controls.
Intelligence sharing, cyber protection, critical infrastructure and so forth so that they are not as easily subverted as Ukraine two years ago.
And secondly, it's by stiffening the NATO response.
We're doing that.
This budget, which we're submitting now, quadruples our spending.
We're putting in heavy equipment into Eastern Europe.
We are putting forces in now, not on a permanent basis, but a persistent rotational basis.
We have a lot more American troops Persistent rotational basis is code for lots of people but new faces every three months.
Yeah, rotating everyone through.
Yeah.
But this is nonsense.
I mean, this is like...
I don't get this.
I mean, this thing about Russia, it's all something...
You know, there's a missing piece of this puzzle.
Let's listen to what we're talking about, Russia, and since you mentioned Turkey...
Oh, I want to have a little thing on Turkey, so ask Adam.
But since you mentioned Russia, play the clip on Germany.
This is...
German and Russian trade problems.
This is ongoing with, especially with Germany, but all the other countries, Poland, everybody else, has got huge, this is as though we're doing this on purpose just to fuck the EU. It's been a spectacular fall from grace.
The Russian economy has been plagued by the falling oil price and Western sanctions.
Those have both dragged down the value of the ruble.
Of course, economic crises don't happen in isolation.
They also affect trading partners.
The German Chambers of Industry and Commerce have held a Russia conference in Berlin to try and keep the trade ties tight.
The political mood between Moscow and Berlin might be frosty.
But politicians and business leaders here hope to put that behind them and get back to work.
But they have their work cut out for them.
Since 2012, German exports to Russia have tumbled by half.
And a third of German companies have put their investment plans on hold.
And around 80% of companies expect Russia's economic situation to worsen.
More and more members are complaining about the sanctions against Russia.
We've lost around 30 to 40 billion in trade volume.
And more and more companies are warning that they'll have to cut staff due to the reduced trading figures.
Something urgently needs to be done about this.
The sanctions have also weighed on Asman International, which is helping build several airports in Russia.
The contracts represent a fifth of the company's business.
It's hard to get new orders at the moment, because our current contracts are starting to expire, and our Russian partners can't secure financing as they are locked out of the European financial markets.
I'm glad you played that.
We forget sometimes to bring that up, these sanctions and everything that's messed up all trade.
And Turkey has got stories about Turkey.
They're supposed to receive the new North Stream would be to Turkey, the Turkish Stream pipeline.
It is a complete cluster.
Yeah, it is.
And the United States is behind it.
And I am actually stunned that the EU and the Europeans haven't figured out that this is not in their interest.
Over Ukraine?
We need to remind them what Victoria Noodleman Kagan said.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Thank you.
So, there's that.
Now, I do have an Ask Adam thing if you want to drift a little bit.
Okay.
So this guy, Peter Berger, who's CNN's security guy.
He's a British guy.
In fact, he looks exactly like that.
Oh, yeah.
That's the guy they always bring in when it's serious security news.
He's all about it.
He's all about security.
Security.
And he's like, the guy just got a new book.
There's a new book called Homegrown Terrorist.
Yes.
Violent Extremism.
Yeah.
So he is a two-parter.
I got part one and part two.
And this is a question for you.
This is Peter Berger on C-SPAN discussing his book about all of it.
He's got the worldview of everything on C-SPAN. And he's taking this crazy question that the C-SPAN guy couldn't handle.
And he actually pretty much cut the guy off.
But I want you to play this part one.
And then I have a question for you.
And then we'll play the part two.
John is calling in from Northport, Florida.
On our Republican line, you're on with Peter Bergen.
Excuse me.
Hello, Peter.
Thank you for listening.
I really appreciate the way you're speaking and everything.
The only thing I have to ask a question is, why are you not talking about the country of Turkey?
The reason why I say that is, I grew up in Pennsylvania.
I live in Florida now, but I grew up in Pennsylvania, three minutes from a town called Salisburg, Pennsylvania.
His name is Fentula Gulen.
He is a clergyman out of the country of Turkey.
He was put into the United States back in 1999.
And Robert Amsterdam, you might have heard of this person out of London and he has an office in Washington.
I spoke to him briefly regarding this man because there is now an investigation throughout the United States because of charter schools throughout the United States that he is under investigation.
He is considered a terrorist, which the country of Turkey put him on the terrorist list.
Plus, the country of Turkey is the one that hired Robert Amsterdam Hey, John, this is getting real complicated and real deep.
Where do you want to go with that?
Okay, the only question is, is he familiar with Ventula Gulen?
And I feel the country of Turkey is funneling terrorists out of the country of Turkey into Syria.
Thank you, sir.
All right, I'm ready.
Okay, so where do you think Peter Bergen goes with this?
Let me think.
Okay, so the true answer is, hey, this guy's under investigation.
He was put there by the CIA. He got his green card with help from the uncle of the Sarnoff brothers, who were the Boston Bombers.
I think you got the right idea.
Let's hear what Peter Bergen...
Wait, wait, I want to guess.
Do I get a guess?
No, you've got to guess.
I mean, you can guess some more.
There's more to it than he's going to reveal he's a CIA stooge.
No, he's probably going to say...
I'm trying to think.
If I were Peter Berg, at first I'll have an accent.
He's British.
I don't know, man.
I have to give up.
I'm not familiar with the case.
I'm not familiar with the case.
Never heard of him.
Never heard of him.
Never heard of Fethullah Gulen.
Never heard of him.
Yeah, go see Killing Ed, the documentary.
So there's the book.
That's the value of the book.
We just got it in a nutshell.
Never heard of him, I tell you.
Yeah, that's good.
Now, Turkey has requested extradition of Gulen?
Good luck.
Yeah, I know.
The CIA should account for this.
Eventually, someone's going to have to explain exactly how all that went down.
I'm going to show my salute by donating to no agenda.
Imagine all the people who could do that.
Oh, yeah, that'd be fab.
Yeah, on your agenda in the morning.
We have a few people to thank for Show 801 helping us out here, starting with Dame Beth Baronet-Esse of Baja, Arizona, Tucson, 89-48.
Interesting number.
Yeah, what does he think that means?
I don't know.
No idea.
Hi, old gents.
Here's 800 Dimes with a bunch of...
She has some codes here we're not going to read.
Thank you for your courage, something or other.
Dame Beth Baronet of Baja, that's it.
Now, the next one, since Eric coated it with a blue color on my screen, it obfuscates the words.
I can't read it.
I have Katrina Caldwell from Brisbane.
Are you on that new Section 508 coloring scheme?
Is that why you can't see it?
This donation should make me a dame.
Accounting follows.
There you go.
From Queensland, Australia.
That's it.
That's all I got.
Okay.
Excellent.
Yeah.
She's on the list.
She's on the list.
Eric Schmidt.
In Frankfurt, Deutschland, $80.10.
Sean Rigaldo in Saranac Lake, New York, $80.10.
I think it's good because it's all 801.
Get it?
Get it?
I just want to mention that Eric Schmidt wanted an F-cancer karma for his wife, so we'll do it at the end of the...
Yes, please.
Yes, sorry.
That's terrible.
Sean Rigaldo in Saranac Lake, New York.
$80.10.
P.D. Love of the Daddycast.
Hey, P.D. Love, of course.
P.D. Love in Mechanicsville, Virginia.
Listener since show one.
Thank you so much, sir.
These are all leftover from our 800 celebration.
These are leftover 80s.
Sir Craig, Sir Charles, Charles LePage, capital L, small A, did we get that last time?
Lake City, Florida, 80.
Sir Craig in Norwalk, Connecticut, 80.
Robert Dracosin in Oshkosh, Bogosh, Wisconsin.
Sir D.H. Slammer, 80.
He is too late for the celebration, he says.
He sent me a, I don't know if you got one.
He sent me a USAID bag.
No!
Like a bag to go help people in Haiti?
Like a Haiti help bag?
I'll put a picture of it in the next newsletter.
It's a bag that would...
It was an empty bag, of course.
But it was a bag that would hold sorghum.
Usually those bags are filled with cash.
Yeah, well, this one wasn't.
It wasn't filled with anything.
But it's very artistic.
I think it's a work of art.
And it says sorghum.
And I want to talk about sorghum one of these days on the show.
What is sorghum?
Sorghum is a kind of a grass that turns out to be like the fifth most popular cereal in the world.
It's not eaten so much in the United States, although it's in the South.
It's used sometimes as a cereal for different things.
It could be used as...
It's kind of like...
It makes a sugar.
It's not to use it to make sugar.
You can make a sugar out of it called sorghum molasses.
Is it a plant?
It's a plant.
It's a grass.
It's a giant grass.
It's like wheat.
Huh.
Only it's mostly used, and I started looking into this because I want to say, what is sorghum being used for?
Why are we in the United States?
It turns out we grow a lot of it.
Kansas mainly, we grow sorghum.
You should look at it so you can recognize it.
Oh, there's a sorghum plant.
You could recognize it and say something.
Now, I was looking into why are we giving it away so much into these USAID bags?
Where is it going?
It must be going a lot of it to Africa because it seems to be much used in Africa.
And you start to look and look and look.
What do they cook with it?
It turns out that you've tracked it to a lot of it.
You can do that.
We do that.
In fact, the Chinese use sorghum to make a famous alcohol.
So you can make alcohol out of it.
Can you get high off of it?
There must be something you can get high off of this stuff.
It's alcohol.
I'll smoke it.
But if you start looking at what is used for perhaps in Africa and what it could be used for in the United States, gruel.
Gruul.
It's used to make gruel.
Hmm.
I've never had gruel.
For starving people.
Oh, it says slave food.
It's slave food.
Nice.
It's starving slave food.
It's gruel, which fits right in with the mac and cheese and all the rest of it.
Dynamite.
And so I am predicting now, immediately, on this show, that sorghum will become a major player in the superfoods movement.
Do you think we could have sorghum with bugs?
Soar cum with bugs.
Crunchy cereal.
Crunchy cereal, everybody.
Well, that'd be gruel.
Crunchy gruel.
Crunchy gruel.
Yeah.
Well, okay.
I like this prediction.
Yeah, that's a good prediction.
Good one.
But look out for sorghum.
It's going to take off anytime soon.
Does it have to be processed before you make it into gruel?
This is the thing that's funny about it.
To get the little grains out of it, you have to boil it.
And you have to boil it for like 55 to 65 minutes, over an hour.
So it's not really something that would go well in an area that doesn't have a lot of energy.
Unless you just burn wood and put the gruel in a pot.
Put it over the burning wood and cook it for an hour, a little over an hour, and then you can eat it.
You can put bugs in it and garnish it with kale.
Yum.
And top it off with some mac and cheese.
That's a meal fit for a king.
Dame Patricia Worthington, in with the 80 from Miami, Florida.
She sent a note.
She sent a check and a card.
A very nice card.
I'm hoping for another...
I don't know what she's saying.
She wants to see Adam elected to office.
Thank you for saving me from listening to the boatloads of propaganda.
Best wishes.
Dame Patricia of Biscayne Bay.
Oh, she says I'm hoping for another 800 shows.
Me too.
All right.
Carl Bosch...
Boschittish.
Carly.
I think it's Boschitz.
Not Carl.
Carly.
Boschitz.
Boschitz.
Carly Boschitz in Ternusen.
Oh.
Ternusen.
Tennoos in Holland.
Very good.
77, 77.
Dario.
Where's my keyboard?
There it is.
Dario Gonzalez or Gonzalez.
Depends on how you pronounce it.
That name is pronounced a number of different ways of whether he's Portuguese, Spanish, uh, 69, 69.
He's in Williams Landing, Victoria, Australia.
Very good.
Brian Warden, I think it's Sir Brian Warden, Downs, Illinois, 6433.
Richard Young in London, Ontario, Canada, 5510.
Custom Hollow Book Company, 5432 in Summerfield, North Carolina.
We haven't heard from them for a while.
Yeah, that's Sir Jimmy, hollowbook.com.
Yeah, great product.
Outstanding product.
It should be sold in gun stores, really.
Yeah, that's marketing.
Yeah.
Sir Gray of Grimerica.
Hello, Grimerica boys.
Grimerica boys in Calgary, Alberta, 5150.
Mr.
BX in Kastel Kambelovic in Croatia.
Huh.
Kambalovic Castle.
I wonder where that is.
Croatia.
Now, the rest of these are 50.
This is not a big list today.
The rest of these are 50.
We've got John Height in Folsom, California.
Daniel Laboy in Bath, Michigan.
Steve Winslow in Bristol, Avon, UK. Nicky Lewis in Seattle, Washington.
Diana Carruthers in Tumwater, Washington.
Chris Moore in Indianapolis, Indiana.
Sir David Trotsky in Romeoville, Illinois.
Joshua Defabo in Alameda, California.
Why are these all grayed out?
It means you have a note.
It was a check, maybe?
No.
Oh, these were checks, yeah.
They were checks with no notes.
Benjamin Smith in Oakland, California.
Black Knights are inside jobs in Seattle, Washington.
That concludes our group of people from...
For show 801.
Yes, and we have the birthday, also F cancer for Mr.
BX. He also has a new human resource and a job that he's looking for.
Man, this is...
Wow.
Okay.
And Nicky Lewis also has a birthday shout-out.
Very nice.
Yeah, it's a short list, but they're there, John.
They're there.
Yeah, they're there.
There, there.
There's a there there.
I need a hug from Kasich.
I told you about the hug I got once, didn't I? You got a hug from Kasich?
No, not Kasich.
I interviewed Shaquille O'Neal.
Oh, see, he likes to give people hugs.
And I said, hey, Shaq, man, you know, I'm 6'4", and he's 7'8", 7'7".
No, no, he's like 7'2".
Right.
But he's huge.
Could I have a hug?
And he went, I understand, right?
It was a great hug.
I'll bet.
It was really, really nice.
Alright, thank you very much.
Also, thank you to everybody who came in under the cutoff of $50.
And a quick note here from, let me see, who was this from?
Love Deluxe.
I've only been on it six months.
What is this?
He says he's broke.
He says, I really want to get a knighthood.
I've only gotten to $400, but health problems and unfortunate debt have collided to even make $50 a month unaffordable.
Call me out as a douchebag.
No, we're not going to, dude.
This is the whole point.
This is the whole point of the show.
It's free.
It's free.
You support when you can.
You support if you want to.
That's the way it works.
I like that system very much.
If only the whole world worked that way, John.
Just go to the grocery store and say, nah, not today.
I'll take the cucumber, but I'm not going to pay you.
No, the douchebags are people that have money to spare.
Exactly, exactly.
So we really appreciate all the support, and as requested, a couple of karmas.
Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs.
Let's vote for jobs!
Yeah!
Karma.
It's your birthday, birthday.
I'm so a champion.
Tomorrow we've got Dwight Chick says happy birthday to his brother Doug.
We've got Mr.
Bix who celebrates today.
Happy birthday.
Nikki Lewis says happy birthday to her husband Tristan the Canadian.
And Sir Donald Winkler, Knight of the Bohemian Forest and Bargain Realm, which will be in a moment, turns 41 tomorrow.
Happy birthday from everybody here at the Best Podcast in the Universe!
I almost forgot to remind you.
Dvorak.org slash NA. And I've got the lucky blade out.
I'm going to be taking this one on the road with me to Arkansas.
Hello?
Oh, sorry.
There you go.
Tom Winkler and Christina Caldwell, come on up to the podium!
Both of you have supported this little podcast, The No Agenda Show, and you might have won $1,000 or more, and therefore you have reached the round table of the Knights of the Dames, and we are very happy to pronounce the KD... Dame Christina and Sir Donald Winkler, Knight of the Bohemian Forest and the Burghain Realm.
For you, we have Hookers and Blow, Rent Boys and Chardonnay.
We've got Raspberry Pies and Breakfast Burritos, Drams and DMT, Librarians and Jagerbombs, Opium and Warm Orange Juice, Papy Van Winkle Bourbon, served by Oktoberfest Frauleins, Three Gateses and a Bucket of Fried Chicken, Rent Boys and Chardonnay, Hot Pants and Blues, Long-Haired Heavy Metal Guys and Scotch, Wenches and Beer, Rubenes, Women and Rosé, Vodka and Vanilla, Bong Hits and Bourbon, Sparkling Sider and Escorts, and Mutton.
And mead.
And we have like three, I think three ring photos that were tweeted.
So make sure you retweet those, John.
But I like the one producer who had the certificate, the sealing wax, the ring, and then three handguns.
We're not on a list.
We're not on a list anywhere.
Oh, man.
Lots of feedback on the Section 508 stuff.
I've learned a term.
Blind people in the blind community call themselves, which doesn't mean I can call them that, blinders.
For some reason.
There's not blinders?
No, it was very specific.
Blinders.
There was a pronunciation guide.
And here's what I've learned.
We have a lot of blinders who listen to the show who, I will say, one of them actually said they use our websites as an example of how accessibility should work.
That's a huge compliment towards us, I think, because we have that baked into our DNA. It's baked.
It's baked into our DNA. It's baked into the DNA. Exactly.
But this is really being driven by lawsuits and what is known as the ADA trolls.
Section 508 doesn't even matter.
This is where I think I got sidetracked, thinking, where is the law that says you have to do this?
It is an interpretation of the American with Disabilities Act.
And the bottom line is, if you don't make the effort, if you don't try to be A or AA compliant with the WCAG 2.0 content guidelines, you'll get sued.
That's what's happening.
And everyone in the community hates it.
On the other hand, it's good that it gets people's attention, but that is why the consultants are out and why everyone's running around trying to fix their websites.
And it could hit us too, John.
We could easily be sued.
We don't really provide such a public service, perhaps, as some other companies do.
But it's rampant, rampant, these lawsuits.
Usually they're for about $15,000, and it's just easier to settle.
Why call your law team?
Don't call the lawyers, just settle.
That's why it's being pushed so hard.
But I can't convince anyone of the people who have emailed back at me that it makes no sense to degrade my experience with Because, you know, if you have to degrade the colors of a website to be compliant, would this not also be the case with television, clothing people wear, outdoor advertising, advertising in magazines?
Can we now just sue all of them?
I'm sure they'd like to.
I'm sure it may happen.
Could.
I think we just go back to gray.
Everything should just be grayscale.
I said it before.
I like the gray.
Just keep it at grayscale.
Grayscale's good.
Grayscale.
That's a little update on that.
Well, we should at least discuss this before the show ends, which is the back and forth that's been going on in the EU regarding Great Britain and the UK. I have, maybe as a little start-off, I have Quickie from Cameron, his little speech there in Brussels.
Okay, play that.
This is after he said that he's done the work.
He has negotiated on behalf of Britain.
Within the last hour, I've negotiated a deal to give the United Kingdom special status inside the European Union.
I will fly back to London tonight and update the cabinet at 10 a.m.
tomorrow morning.
Thank you.
This deal has delivered on the commitments I made at the beginning of this renegotiation process.
Britain will be permanently out of ever closer union, never part of a European super state.
There will be tough new restrictions on access to our welfare system for EU migrants, no more something for nothing.
Britain will never join the euro, and we've secured vital protections for our economy, and a full say over the rules of the free trade single market while remaining outside the euro.
I believe that this is enough for me to recommend that the United Kingdom remain in the European Union, having the best of both worlds.
There you go.
Special status.
All negotiators.
Yeah, he's like exaggerating.
It must be.
To say the least.
It must be.
But he, a lot of that is true.
But the main thing they were trying to get out of was the welfare problem that they had, which was people would come over and then they would, to work from Poland and other places, not just the refugees.
And many of them would just immediately quit their jobs, stay there, and collect welfare.
Not many of them, but enough that it was becoming a problem.
That was the absolute main thing they were working on.
The special status thing, that can be pulled out from under them.
But this report that I have, which discusses the build-up to this, which is a report out of Germany and was played on Deutsche Welle, shows the kind of...
Kind of crap that went on during the process of him getting this special status.
In fact, they weren't going to grant it.
What do you think this means, though, the special status?
Is it just, we will participate, we want to be a member, but not really?
It's like, it's some special privilege.
Well, play this Deutsche Welt thing first, and then we'll talk about that.
All right.
Good morning, good morning.
It's exactly what he has been asking for and what he needs.
David Cameron is fighting an uphill battle and he's very keen to show that to British voters.
The key to overcome last pockets of resistance to a deal now seem to be bilateral meetings.
The deal is possible, but timing, it will depend what kind of deepness of drama some countries would like to perform.
Deepness of drama?
Yes, some countries would like...
So who are the culprits here?
Everybody!
Everybody!
Take Greece, for example.
The Greek Prime Minister has apparently brought the refugee crisis back on the agenda.
Greece wants its EU peers to pledge to keep their borders open to refugees, at least until March, a government source said, or it will refuse to adopt an accord keeping Britain in the bloc.
Then there is Belgium.
The country is pressing for a clause to ensure a deal with Britain would automatically cease to exist, in case of a vote to leave, to make sure there was no possibility for a second renegotiation.
It's very clear.
There will be no second chance.
It's now or never, and we have to get this message across with the full capacity of Europe.
The marathon talks continue, and plans for an English breakfast, brunch, or lunch have long been transformed into plans for a dinner to hammer out a final deal.
And our Brussels correspondent is standing by with the very latest, Max Hoffman.
He joins us now.
Max, so do we have any indications on where things stand at this hour?
Are they at least close to coming to some sort of consensus?
Well, we have news concerning the food.
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, decided to skip the dinner, I think, and that's not a joke.
She went to grab some fries just next to the building here, the European Council building, because everybody took a break for about two hours to clear their head and to approach this what might be final stretch of negotiations.
All the delegations were advised to get hotel reservations here in case it drags on through the night and maybe even The morning, but the most diplomats I've been talking to think that within the next hours there will be a deal, but of course they couldn't give me any guarantees.
As if anybody would actually be sleeping in those hotels, Max.
It looks like they're actually having sex.
Did you see that report?
I wouldn't be surprised.
Yeah, there were people who were so bored of what was going on, they were in the cloakroom in the bathrooms nailing each other.
Well, this thing turned out to be a benefit.
The idea is to give the Brits a few little crumbs.
Yeah, they maintain Schengen and they keep their currency.
They keep their currency.
They don't have to pay ridiculous welfare rates.
Although they do after they've been there for four or five years.
In other words, they put a time limit on it.
So in other words, you can't show up and start collecting welfare.
But if you show up and work for a while and then after four or five years you decide to do it, you can start collecting welfare.
And this is not the same for other countries in the EU then?
Apparently, no.
It's not.
I thought every country got to determine their own laws.
I thought that was how it worked.
Well, it's a bunch of other things, supposed to be concessions, and one of the main ones that the UKIP guys were irked about was there was a timetable where everybody had to do a kumbaya and come together and become one giant country.
And the Brits have been grandfathered out of that.
They don't have to take part in this kind of thing, and that's one of the reasons they get to keep their money.
But it's interesting.
I read about it, and I listened to these German reports, and it seems that I'm going to have to wait until UKIP, or some of the real Euro-haters, come out with their analysis.
And have I now seen that Nigel Farage, ultra-right, is now teaming up with George Galloway, ultra-left, on this issue?
Yeah, that doesn't surprise me.
It's almost like...
This is a worldwide phenomenon.
It's almost like Trump and Sanders have more...
Yeah, yeah.
It's interesting.
More in common than they don't, yeah.
Right.
Common enemies is what it amounts to.
And, yeah, it'll be interesting to see how this shakes out.
But I think if we're going to talk about the Brexit, the vote that's coming up this summer, I believe it's this summer, they are not going to leave the European Union.
There was a bunch of like they're showing people handing out pamphlets in the EU or in Britain.
And they're all these pretty millennial girls.
They want to stay in the EU because it's so nice to be European or whatever.
I have no idea what they're thinking.
But I'm telling you, this is going to be like the Scotland vote.
It's going to look like it's going to happen, and then it doesn't happen.
The Brits do not have the guts to leave the EU. And there's propaganda.
And I ask the question, the same question I ask about Bernie Sanders and the free education.
It used to be that way.
The Brits used to be on their own.
It was a single country doing fine, trading with Canada, the United States, and the various European countries.
Why can't, you know, they used to be able to do it.
Now they can't do it.
Why can't they do it now?
Well, because you've got this big blog.
Because of the scam.
Yeah.
Because of the scam.
It's totally nonsense.
The money scam.
Once you have the money available, then all you have to do is go and get it, and it's running through the children.
You're running the scam through the American children.
Disgusting.
Well, if you wanted to hear a long clip that'll discuss you further, especially running something through the American children, I have the clip.
All right.
Roll it out.
Well, let's set it up.
Goldie Hawn.
She's up there in Susan Sarandon territory.
About 12 years ago, she says, created this system that the schools are implementing called MindUp.
MindUp?
MindUp.
And this is something that is going around the schools, and I have to tell you, it's this package that was put together and shown on the Today Show as though it was their package, but there's too much music.
It's overproduced.
This is Goldie Hawn's foundation.
This is from her foundation, I see.
Yes.
And mind up.
Well, play the clip and you'll get most of the story.
Okay.
But for 12 years now, the Oscar-winning actress has been following a much more serious script that focuses on children.
In many ways, right now, is this the most important thing I've ever done?
I'd have to say probably yes.
One, two, three.
She created a program called Mind Up.
Working with neuroscientists, psychologists, and educators, they developed an interactive way to teach school kids how their brains work and how to become more mindful.
What does mindfulness mean?
Mindfulness is really being in the moment.
I think it's wonderful to be able to bring yourself back to center and actually have the sense of now.
It's all we have.
We don't have yesterday is gone, tomorrow hasn't happened.
So the beautiful thing is to live right now.
How hard is that?
The only thing that's hard about it is finding the time to sit down.
A few times each day, the kids pause.
It's called a brain break.
After a few quiet moments, their eyes open and heart rates drop.
That's telling our bodies that we're calm and we can think clearly and we're ready to take a test or ready to calm down.
It can also tame aggression.
What if you're angry at your friend?
Should you just hit them?
No.
That's why we pause, take some deep breath, And out.
I don't do nearly as much conflict resolution with students.
They're better able to manage their own conflicts with themselves.
Goldie strongly believes in meditation.
Ready?
Okay.
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes if you're comfortable.
Your hands are in your lap.
She gave me a quick lesson.
If thoughts come into your mind, let them float away and come back to your breathing.
She started practicing in her 20s to calm anxiety during her rapid rise to fame as a star on Laugh-In.
Do you think kids today have it harder than when you were young?
Most definitely.
I think the world has changed, obviously.
It changed after 9-11.
I think we live in a lot of fear.
She hopes Mind Up gives kids the tools they need to be happy, optimistic, and compassionate.
650,000 children, kindergarten through eighth grade, are now doing the program.
When you're calm, does that help you with your schoolwork?
When I'm calmed down at home and I do my yoga, I feel like I should do my homework more and I should focus.
When you hear the chime, how does it make you feel?
Good.
Good?
Why is that?
Because it cools you down.
Have you heard some success stories that have moved you?
One of them was these kids that came back and said, if it wasn't for this class, I would have never gone through college.
When you hear stories like that, how do you respond?
I cry because our children have to have every chance to survive and every chance to live in a healthy, happy world.
For this comedy legend, it's a dramatic turn giving children something good to think about.
For today, Joe Fryer, NBC News, Redondo Beach, California.
Yeah, you could have cut a minute out of that, I'm sure.
You know, I could have.
Let me say a couple things.
There was a couple things you couldn't see.
They had this classroom, and they had this little gong.
It's not a gong, but a ding, this little noise.
You heard it three times in that piece.
Yes, it almost sounded like an iPhone ringtone.
Well, it's a ding, and it's a little thing, and then they have a little hammer, and they ding.
And when they hit the thing, the kids, a whole room full of kids...
Freeze!
Like, yeah, they freeze in place and close their eyes.
The whole class, boing!
It's like, and it's frightening to see this.
It's like, creepy.
Do they have to cower in the corner?
I have no idea.
Shelter in place?
They ring the bell and all these kids, boing!
They all close their eyes and they're still and silent.
It's extremely programmed.
This is part of the mindfulness movement.
Mindful living.
She used that word mindfulness.
Yes, and you see this on the face bag everywhere.
It's about living in the moment, living now, feeling now, being present, which I'm all for.
The Hahn Foundation brought in $1.2 million last year.
This is a typical Hollywood tax thing.
Yeah, tax deal.
And Kimberly McNatt, the chief executive officer, takes home a quarter of that.
With a $289,000 a year salary.
So, great.
And they make children freeze on command.
Do you have one of these devices?
Do you have one of these ding devices?
Yeah, right here.
What do you think?
It has to be the right timbre.
It has to be the right key.
Well, this might, I don't have the right.
Because then you can just, because you're in California, just go around to these schools and just hit that thing.
It looked like some, they all looked, they showed a couple of these.
They all looked identical.
There's some, I think they buy them.
So I think I can buy one.
Doug, oh, maybe they can, maybe they sell them on the site.
It's possible.
If they can, then we need it because we can ding it on the show.
Yes, and then kids will freeze in their tracks.
Yeah, a bunch of kids are...
What's wrong with Billy?
Let me see.
They have teaching.
Oh, we can become certificated and accredited in MindUp.
Play the theremin.
Now, that would actually be great.
If we could get kids to respond to the theremin...
There, uh, there, uh, theremin?
There, theremin?
How do you spell theremin?
I don't know.
You're the one that wrote it.
They changed the old title.
Theremin.
I'm going to put this on a hot button.
Come on, kids.
It's time to be mindful.
Here we go.
The Hahn Foundation provides resources to support the successful implementation of the MindUp program.
So, there's the curriculum, but I like the dinger.
Yeah, we need a copy of the dinger.
Is it mind up?
Is it a symbol?
What does it look like?
It looks like a one thing of a xylophone.
It's just a one thing across.
Mind up tone.
Okay, I'm going to look for that.
We should be able to get one of those tones and just hit it all the time.
Yeah, and if you do that near Kate Hudson, she drops to her knees.
I get an in the morning for that.
Give yourself an in the morning.
Alright, I got a couple of Black Lives Matter things before we phase out for today.
First is, oh yes, this was very nice.
This is Melissa Click.
Do you remember Melissa Click?
Melissa Click.
Melissa Click.
Melissa Click was the journalism professor in Missouri.
People need their space.
Go away.
No.
I need some muscle over here.
We need to remove this report.
I need some muscle over here.
She needs some muscle.
And she was on CBS this morning.
Which is sometimes known as the Today Show.
So she's apologizing, but listen to the words because it shows you exactly what her mind says.
First of all, she's not sorry at all.
She doesn't care.
If you look at this woman, you just want to...
She evokes anger, just the contentious, the smirky, I don't know man, something about her rubs me the wrong way.
Director Mazura says this morning an investigation into the assistant professor who sparked a national backlash is nearly done.
I need some muscle over here!
Help me get him out!
Were you appalled by your behavior when you watched the video?
I was embarrassed by my behavior.
I believe it doesn't represent who I am as a person.
It doesn't represent the good I was doing there that day.
And, you know, certainly I wish I could do it over again.
Click says she was trying to protect the students protesting, who she says were under threat, and wasn't sure the man filming was a real journalist.
He introduced himself only as media and came at me with a camera.
He came at me with a camera.
As a camera, not a weapon.
Sure.
But it also wasn't a big camera.
It could have been a phone-sized camera.
It wasn't a...
Again, it didn't say professional journalist to me.
Oh, that's...
Okay, so this is what the kids learn in school, John.
That only if you have a big camera, the big camera...
A big old-fashioned camera with a huge VHS tape in it.
With the...
With the big battery on the back.
Yeah, then your professional media.
Size camera.
Again, it didn't say professional journalist to me.
If you have a camera, you need to put on the side a sticker that says professional camera.
You're supposed to wear a fedora with a thing sticking a card sticking it and it says press.
Sure.
And you should be smoking a cigar.
You've got to be smoking.
You can get away with the green visor if you're a print.
Camera, not a weapon.
Sure.
But it also wasn't a big camera.
It could have been a phone-sized camera.
It wasn't a, again, didn't say professional journalist to me.
We asked if she would review the tape.
I just want to get this straight.
I know I'm obsessed by it, but for a journalism, modern day journalism professor, assistant or not, to say that she was confused and thought it was not a journalist because they only have the big cameras that say professional journalist...
This woman should not be teaching.
No, she shouldn't.
Ever hear of citizen journalism?
Ever hear of journalism?
Ever hear of the First Amendment?
Again, didn't say professional journalist to me.
What's a professional journalist?
You can only be professional if you went to school?
I don't know.
Again, didn't say professional journalist to me.
We asked if she would review the tape of that incident with us.
She declined.
I don't really wish to do that.
No, no.
I know you don't wish to do that.
Of course not.
Horrible woman.
And she gets away with it.
Gets a pass.
No problem.
But then, and this is a little on the long side, but maybe worth listening to it, Because it's kind of a surprise.
Seeing the video makes it that much better.
But this is Captain Clay Higgins in Louisiana.
And there's gang members out.
Gang members around.
And the sheriff, the captain, he is tired of the gang members.
And this is a big outdoor shot.
All the materiel is there.
All the...
The SUVs and their riot stuff, and everyone's out.
The Gremlin Street Gang is responsible for hundreds of violent crimes.
Murders, armed robberies, witness intimidation, burglaries, drug trafficking, extortion, and brutal beatings.
We've arrested ten of these thugs and have warrants on seven more.
Every one of these animals is most definitely armed and dangerous.
Darren Carter, Aaron Carter, Travis Cooper, Cody Guidry, Jaron Diggs, Kirkland Demache, and Jonathan Landry.
We have felony warrants for your arrest.
You will be hunted.
You will be tracked.
And if you raise your weapon to a man like me, we'll return fire with superior fire.
How's it sounding so far, John?
How do you like this guy?
What does he sound like to you?
What do you think he sounds like?
Does he sound like a big-ass southern bigot racist?
He sounds like a good old boy.
He's probably overweight.
No, he's not, actually.
Darren Carter, you think men like these are afraid of an uneducated, 125-pound punk like you that's never won a fair fight in your life and holds your gun sideways?
Young man...
I like that part.
You hold your gun sideways.
All the gangbangers, they hold their guns sideways, which ensures you'll always miss.
Young man, I'll meet you on solid ground anytime, anywhere, light or heavy.
Light or heavy?
Makes no difference to me.
You won't walk away.
I might want to point out every single one of the mug shots was a black guy.
Look at you.
Men like us, son, we do dumbbell presses with weights bigger than you.
Son!
And the convicts in jail?
Most of those men are good people who just found themselves crossed with the law.
They're not evil, and they don't respect you or any punk like you.
They'll toss you around like a rag doll.
I encourage every citizen watching this to look into your own heart and find the American courage that conquers all evil.
And here comes the big reveal.
Where did you get this?
It's a public service announcement from Captain Clay Higgins.
Where did it run?
Oh, local TV. But now this is Zoom Out.
Here's the reveal.
I implore you to listen to this message and stand up.
Take back your streets.
Take back your country.
Come forward with information about these heathens that have terrorized your community.
And for those who would use this message as a way to create false racial division in our country, Take a close look behind me.
Standing next to every cop is a leader of our black community.
This is not about race.
It's about right versus wrong.
One last message to the gremlins.
You don't like the things I've told you tonight?
I got one thing to say.
I'm easy to find.
On behalf of the St.
Landry Parish Sheriff's Office, the Louisiana State Police, the U.S. Marshals, and every cop and law-abiding citizen from sea to shining sea.
I'm Captain Clay Higgins, asking every patriot to stand up, share this video, and send a clear message to the world.
We're Americans.
We'd rather die on our feet than live on our knees.
That's right!
Fools!
I like it!
I watched this thing, and I'm like, wow, what a racist this guy is.
And then all of a sudden, there's all these black guys standing next to the cops.
It was great!
I'm all for this.
Go out there and shoot the gangbangers.
That's what it sounds like.
Yeah.
Well, you know, they're tired.
It's Southern justice.
They're tired of it, man.
They're tired.
A little different.
Yeah, that's right.
We're a little different down here in the South.
The family guy doing good work.
Very good work.
By the way, he was shouting the whole time.
Yeah, well...
Family Guy, along with South Park, these guys are starting to do good work.
So before we go, something I want to do in the last show, I'm going to do it now.
I'm setting up a clip and you're just going to arrange it.
Oh, you got a clip coming?
Well, I'm saying Family Guy, Family Guy, Family Guy, Family Guy.
Yeah, but I thought you were just referring to the guy from Louisiana.
No, Family Guy is doing good work.
They're making fun of the security theater, making fun of the government, and it's subtle, and I like it.
Guys, we're under attack!
By who?
I don't know!
Cowbrass!
Oh, it's Cobra.
Oh, of course.
Look, they have the pictures of the snakes on their planes.
Duke, what have I been saying for years?
What makes a good terrorist organization?
Brand recognition.
Brand recognition.
Exactly.
Brand recognition.
Is that Brian?
No, no.
Well, it's Brian's voice, but it's not Brian.
I love that.
Well, I missed that one.
And then the final one.
Actually, I'm going to open up the gate for this one if you don't mind.
To the gate, to the gate, to the climate gate.
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Neil deGrasse Tyson has a podcast called Stargazers or something.
Is it a TV show?
It's probably a TV show.
And he said something really remarkable, which was so not Neil deGrasse Tyson, so not what we'd expect him to say.
But now that he said it, thank you very much, NDGT. Now, if my records are correct here, 2014 was the warmest year on record since 1880.
Correct.
So we've got these other data, 97% of climate scientists agree.
Only on that global warming is reality and humans are most of it.
That's an important fact.
Yes.
Okay, now however, there's a famous quote from Galileo who says, and I quote, In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual.
So I've never been happy with people saying, 97% of scientists agree, because that's like, so?
So?
Maybe they're wrong.
What they should be saying, in my IMHO, in my humble opinion, is that the overwhelming consensus of experiments give these results.
It's the experiments, the results of experiments that matter here.
This is a tough one, though, because we're not experimenting.
Well, we're running only one experiment.
Observations.
Observations and experiments.
That's what people report on.
That's what we should be looking at.
I like it.
Thank you, Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Does he realize what he's done there?
No.
He's made it easy for us.
The science is in.
The science is on a critical call.
I'm watching this travel show and they go to Fort Jefferson, which I'd love to see.
So Fort Jefferson is all...
But you're watching television during the show?
No, not now.
Oh, okay.
Good.
Fort Jefferson, I just didn't get a clip of it.
I do have a clip, but for some reason it didn't show up in the clips.
Fort Jefferson is at the end of the Tortuga, or it's in the vicinity of the Tortuga Islands, which are in the area of the Keys, Florida Keys.
And the Tortuga Islands, which are named after the turtles, are like at sea level, about a foot above sea level.
The whole island, little structures, little islands, they're small, they're little bitty groups.
And then this Fort Jefferson is about a foot above sea level, and it was built in 1860.
A beautiful fort.
So since 1860, this thing, which is at pretty much a foot above sea level, where's the rising tides?
Tortuga Island should be underwater.
And this Fort Jefferson should be inundated.
But no.
Is the rising sea levels, they don't go to this Florida Keys?
Well, you'd think they would.
Yeah.
Maybe...
It's an anomaly.
I guess the lumpy ocean is only rising some places that, you know, where there's nobody looking.
Well, maybe we should ask...
Because of what's happening in Greenland right now, the maps of the world will have to be redrawn.
Hmm.
This is what would happen to San Francisco Bay.
That's right, time for another Mud Flats Report.
John C. Dvorak, how are the Mud Flats doing?
Well, the Mud Flats are still there, but it is high tide, so they're covered with a couple inches of water, but not so much that the nearby freeway, which is at one foot above sea level, has any effect there.
So it appears to me that nothing's going on.
The maps of the world.
Thanks for telling us.
There we go.
There's nothing going on.
This is what would happen to San Francisco Bay.
Look at your window, baby!
Mudflats intact.
We're good to go.
I'm still looking for that chime. .
We'll find it.
Yeah.
Ask the schools or just send them an email.
Say, I'd like to get that chime.
I'd like to get your chime.
I'd like to train my kids to meditate and I need that chime.
I like it.
Because you know this kind of stuff, it sticks for a long time.
You can probably just do it in Whole Foods and see what children freeze.
Like, ding.
Hello, kids.
To be tried, yes.
Alright, bring us home, Johnny boy.
Well, do I have anything to bring us home with?
I don't know.
I thought you had one more thing you wanted to talk about.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe just mention briefly that we didn't talk about on the last show that Watermelon Head John Kerry, Secretary of State, met with the heads of the major studios on Tuesday to talk about how to counter the ISIS narrative.
Oh, there's that.
Yeah, somebody sent us a picture of the meeting.
Yeah, he tweeted a picture.
It's like douchebagville.
Yeah, here's his tweet.
Great convo, W slash studio execs in LA. Good to hear their perspectives and ideas of how to counter hashtag Dyash narrative.
All right, so I have one last clip.
They've been doing studies.
This is one of the rundown of the news stories.
This was important because this gives me another question to ask you.
Okay.
This is the sleeping college education clip.
Okay.
The Wall Street Journal reports that many Americans are sleep-deprived.
A new study by the CDC finds more than 35% of adults get less than the recommended seven hours of sleep in a 24-hour period.
People who do get enough rest tend to be employed, married, or have a college education or higher.
Here's the question for you.
What's higher than a college education?
Is there some other institution we're unaware of?
Hey, it's a club I want to be in.
What's higher than a college education?
I don't know.
No, a master's degree is a college education.
PhD is college.
It's all college, so what's higher?
I don't know.
Public office, maybe.
It's a mystery.
It could be.
Alrighty.
Good.
Nice.
So, more town halls tonight.
I'll watch.
I'll watch.
You don't have to if you don't want to.
I'll watch tonight.
I'll get the clips from that.
And, well...
I don't think there's anything.
Is there stuff tonight, really?
Yeah, I think there's...
It seems like every show night there's something going on.
Well, apparently the next Republican debate...
Of course, I think I've heard this before.
The next debate coming up in Tuesday or Thursday of next week.
Yeah.
They said it will be the last.
Oh, sure.
That's what they said.
Uh-huh.
I'm sure.
And somehow Trump's going to be at a huge disadvantage now because he doesn't have Bush to pick on it.
Oh, okay.
Well, we'll see.
Stand by, Cruz and Rubio.
That could be fun.
Oh, don't forget to cash our Donald Trump money.
As we've been accused.
All right.
Cash that Donald Trump money.
Cash that money.
I got a big check here.
The guy's a cheap bastard.
He's not giving us anything.
Everybody coming to you from the Crackpot Condo here in downtown Austin, FEMA Region 6.
In the skyscraper, I say in the morning to you, I'm Adam Curry.
And from northern Silicon Valley, where it's a beautiful sunny day.
It appears it's going to be sunny for the next few days and maybe a whole week.
I'm John C. Dvorak.
We will return right here on Thursday.
Remember us at dvorak.org slash na.
Until then, in the morning, everybody.
Adios, mofos.
I do not pretend to fix the sex.
I do not take dick pics. I do not take dick
pics. I do not
take dick pics.
I do not take dick pics. I do not take dick pics.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
The great reception was caused by too much regulation.
The Great Recession was caused by too much regulation.
You know, the Great Recession was caused by too much regulation.
You know?
Big H Deutschland, here is the hub!
Everyone's crazy about a dude named Ben.
Tell me a denier.
The science is in.
The science is unequitical.
Science!
You might not.
Elon!
Adios, mofo.
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