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March 20, 2011 - No Agenda

02:14:41

288: George W. Obama

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	Poop Police!
	Poop Police!
	I got a badge!
	Says Poop Police!
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	It's Sunday, March 20th, 2011.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 288.
	This is No Agenda.
	Proud to be in America, saving the world from evil dictators here at the Hilltop Watchtower Crackpot Command Center.
	Get my nation west, the People's Republic of Southern California.
	In the morning, everybody, my name is Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, also known as a flood zone, I'm John C. Dvorak.
	It's Crackpot and Buzzkill.
	In the morning.
	Yay, in the morning to you, my good friend John C. In the morning to you, and in the morning to all ships at sea.
	Indeed, and those boots on the ground, and there's plenty of them.
	And the cruise missiles in the air.
	You know, I think we need to get this out of the way right off the bat.
	I have too many clips, but they're actually ancillary.
	Yeah?
	I did a lot of work, actually, yesterday.
	Before you go on with that, can I ask you a question?
	Yes.
	Does this qualify?
	With all this activity, this hot...
	Hold on.
	Hold on a second.
	When John C. Dvorak's got a burning question, what should we do?
	Ask Adam.
	Yes, John.
	How many of these things do you have?
	Enough.
	So with all this kind of...
	This is like important world event stuff.
	Why is Obama in Brazil and Hillary's in Paris shopping?
	You mean George W. Obama?
	This is my new name for him.
	I like it.
	I'll use it.
	His name is George W. Obama.
	Well, I can tell you exactly why.
	In fact, I wasn't going to do this one first.
	Oh, my goodness.
	I see you have one interesting clip.
	What I did is I went and looked at the UN resolution, John.
	Ah, I got a UN resolution clip for you.
	Okay.
	So, because, you know, whenever someone...
	You're not talking about the UN resolution set 1973, are you?
	No, no, no, no.
	You're misunderstanding.
	You're misunderstanding how it works.
	The number of the UN resolution is UN Security Resolution 1973.
	That doesn't mean it's from 1973, you fool.
	I thought it was from 1973, and I'll tell you why I think that.
	No, you fool.
	You fool.
	Why do you think that?
	Because Hillary, I have a clip here to prove my point.
	If you want me to jump in here.
	Sure, go ahead.
	Let's do it.
	Of course, I caught myself off guard, so I don't have my list of clips in front of me.
	Hillary and Jill.
	Hillary and Matt.
	Hillary not in bed with Arabs.
	Part 0 and Part 1.
	Hillary on stopping Gaddafi.
	Yeah, Hillary on stopping Gaddafi.
	Alright, let's listen to that.
	We should take stock of where we are and how we got here and how many times the international community called on Qaddafi to end the violence against his own people.
	Since 1970, obviously!
	She didn't say that.
	Well, keep going.
	Demonstrable steps to end the aggression and pull back.
	And time and time again, starting...
	Time and time again!
	First resolution...
	This has been going on for years, Adam.
	Years.
	Let her play some more.
	In 1970, through the succeeding time period, there was no evidence that he intended to do so, despite various claims that were made.
	And if the international community is to have credibility...
	In this show of unity that 1973 represents, then action must take place.
	Okay, hold on now.
	You can stop it.
	So time and time again, this has been going on forever according to Hillary.
	Uh-huh.
	And so I skipped 1973.
	I just looked at Resolution 1970.
	Uh-huh.
	This is very interesting and I'll tell you why.
	Because if you look at Resolution 1973, line number one, John, the Security Council, comma, recalling its Resolution 1970 from the 26th of February 2011, which means you've got to go back to the 1970 Resolution, which is not from 1970.
	It's from the 26th of February.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	Hold on a second.
	26th of February to the day that Hillary said it's been going on forever is only 21 days.
	Are you telling me that in 21 short days this constitutes...
	We've been trying to do something about this time and time and time again.
	It gets even worse because in paragraph 4 of Resolution 1970 from the 26th of February 2011...
	Each paragraph starts off with expressing, deploring, welcoming, taking note.
	And here, welcoming the Human Rights Council Resolution, AHRCRESS1511, of the 25th of February, 2011, one day before, including the decision to urgently dispatch an independent international commission of inquiry to investigate all alleged Violations of international human rights law in the Libyan Arab Jamahiriya to establish the facts and circumstances
	of such violations and of the crimes perpetrated and where possible identify those responsible.
	So what they're saying here is that these are alleged violations and that they want to send a United Nations Human Rights Council team to go and verify the facts.
	So, of course, I went and looked at...
	What the Human Rights Commission of the United Nations had to say, and they say, the commission is expected to begin its work in the next two weeks and report its findings at the next council session in June.
	They didn't even wait to find out if it was true or not.
	They didn't even wait to see if it was true or not.
	That's because for time and time and time again over the last couple of weeks.
	20 days!
	20 days!
	Time and time and time.
	Well, of course, in both these resolutions, it's almost like an Apple Terms of Service.
	It's very funny.
	Actually, 1973 is not a very good resolution.
	You need to look at 1970.
	1970 is a good one.
	The way I read 1970, it was the following.
	Take all their money.
	Half the document is about taking money.
	1970 says, we don't like what we think is going on, so we're taking all your money.
	And by the way, if that money is supposed to pay rent or legal fees, then it's okay.
	That money can be taken for that.
	So bankers with interest payments, lawyers, everybody gets to take their money, but all the rest is like in lockup.
	We just took your money, bitch.
	Now, as in with Apple's terms of service, this could have been written by the Apple legal team, at the end of both resolutions...
	Well, you've been...
	We don't know.
	No, we don't.
	It clearly states...
	commitments to review affirms it shall keep the Libyan authorities' actions under continuous review, shall be prepared to review the appropriateness of the measures contained in this resolution, including the strengthening, modification, shall be prepared to review the appropriateness of the measures contained in this resolution, including the strengthening, modification, suspension, or lifting of the measures, as may be needed at any time in light of the Libyan
	So in other words, we have the right to change our terms of service at any moment, and it only took us 20 days and we did it. .
	Now, the funniest thing...
	It's hilarious.
	Time and time and time.
	20 days.
	The funniest thing is...
	Meanwhile, by the way, more people have been butchered in Darfur.
	Yeah.
	In Rwanda.
	How about Rwanda?
	There's no oil there.
	No oil in Rwanda.
	Also of interesting note is that a lot of this refers to the International Criminal Court, which the United States of Gitmo Nation doesn't even recognize.
	Right.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	We don't even recognize it.
	I think India's another one that didn't sign off.
	We don't even recognize it.
	So, what they did do...
	Oh, they're very happy.
	They're very, very happy.
	They took advice from a dude.
	Let me see.
	He's mentioned specifically.
	I did a lot of highlighting here.
	This was so entertaining.
	It's like I actually turned off TalkSoup to read these documents.
	It was so hilarious.
	So, the United Nations welcomes the appointment by the Secretary General, who by the way is our new President, of his special envoy to Libya, Mr.
	Abdel Eilat Mohamed Al-Khatib, and supporting his efforts, his efforts, to find a sustainable and peaceful solution to the crisis.
	So, you go and Google this Mr.
	Abdel Eilat Mohamed Al-Khatib.
	By the way, you think it's tough spelling names?
	Try Googling a name.
	Oh yeah, it's impossible.
	Well, I did wind up with a little bio on the man.
	Congratulations.
	He's from Jordan, actually, which of course is...
	Oh, how nice.
	And his short name is...
	It looks like a URL shortener.
	Abdul Ilah Khatib.
	Married three children, graduated his master's degree in international economics from John Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies, master's degree in international communications from the American University, we know who attends that, bachelor's degree in political science from the School of Political Science in Athens, Greece, another fine place, and in 1995 he was appointed as the Minister of Tourism and Antiques in Jordan, John.
	This is their expert, the Minister of Tourism and Antiques.
	Now, I'm just a simple guy.
	However, I'm pretty much in the understanding that in the United States Constitution, the only body that can call for war is Congress.
	And it is the only time when, and I have all these links in the show notes for those of you interested, the only time when the President may directly call for war is if we are under a direct attack, and only if then he can deploy for 60 days, no longer than that, without an official resolution from Congress.
	Now, Hillary Clinton...
	Was in Paris, and so this comes back to your shopping trip.
	And by the way, she's wearing some really nice garb.
	Oh, and she's got the Chanel sunglasses on and everything.
	And she has a new hairdo, and she's got a little local makeup.
	So, first comes the pertinent information, then I'm going to let the clip roll, because this is the very last question of the press conference.
	Finally, I don't know who it is, finally someone had the nerve to say, uh...
	Doesn't Congress have to, like, I read this document, Madam Secretary, Madam Secretary, I read this document, like, shouldn't Congress, like, sign some declaration or something like that?
	I don't know.
	And then after that, it gets really funny.
	So it's the most important question of the day.
	It comes at the end and then goes right into complete elitism.
	So here's the question.
	It's very hard to understand, so I'll give you this.
	He says, I know the president went to a couple of the congressional leaders, because he has to do that, right?
	If he's going to go call for war.
	Not necessarily.
	No.
	Yes, necessarily.
	Under the provision that a president can call for war, he has to consult with Congress, he has to inform Congress 48 hours before he does it, and then he can do it for 60 days.
	So this is what he pulled out of his hat.
	Remember, he's a constitutional lawyer.
	So he knows what he's talking about, George W. Obama.
	So the question is kind of hard to understand, but her answer is very clear.
	My question to you is, what do you think of those comments?
	Do you think that there's merit to that?
	And would you describe what's going on now as a war?
	No.
	I think the President made that clear in a meeting with congressional leaders that he held in outlining all of the reasons why the United States was prepared to act in support of the international efforts on behalf of 1973.
	And, of course, we would always welcome congressional support.
	This blew me away.
	We'd welcome some support from Congress.
	We're just doing whatever we want to do over here.
	When did he have this meeting?
	He's been hanging out in Brazil.
	No, he had the meeting two days ago.
	I have it in the show notes.
	It did take place, and I can tell you exactly who was there, but it's not all that interesting.
	But I did make sure that I... Here it is.
	Obama meets with members of Congress.
	I'll give you the date.
	Some members of the bipartisan congressional delegation are here at the White House, while others are on a secure conference call.
	This is from March 18th when it was reported, so I'm going to say it probably happened on the 17th.
	So he was within his 48-hour window, I would say.
	Reid, Hoyer, Levin, Lugar.
	He must have jumped right on a plane.
	Oh yeah, he got out of town right away.
	Right away.
	Now, so that was just like, oh, really, Hillary?
	Really?
	Oh, we're so happy that he's...
	It'd be great if Congress supported us, but we don't really care about them.
	Now listen to what happens at the end when this elitist bitch takes off and, oh, just, I want to kick her ass.
	Listen.
	The president's very clear that the United States is acting in a way that is within the existing authorities.
	Power.
	His power is the power of war.
	Available to him.
	Thank you.
	Okay.
	Thank you all.
	Have a great night in Paris, those of you who get to stay.
	I'm jealous.
	I'm jealous.
	I don't get to stay in Paris.
	Have a great night, everybody.
	Come on, everybody.
	Enjoy.
	We're all in Paris.
	Yeah.
	She's been in trouble.
	The whole thing is, I'm wondering about, I mean, this whole thing was so ridiculously staged that I have these two clips, the ones that you say, what the hell is this?
	Hillary and Jill, Hillary and Matt.
	It's like, these are just her responses to a couple of the reporters that were asking these framed questions.
	Just play them back to back.
	Say Hillary and Jill.
	Oh, it makes me want to puke.
	Could it actually engage with her?
	Muammar Gaddafi after what has happened?
	Well, Jill, as we talked about last night.
	Wait a minute.
	There's Jill and then I got this other one.
	Were these people on the plane with her coming over?
	Yes, of course.
	Why don't they ask her these questions on the plane?
	Because they're too busy doing blow.
	Let's listen to Matt.
	You play Hillary and Matt, too.
	It's just a short clip.
	Specifically, and which countries are going to be doing it.
	Well, Matt, I think the fact that we have a representation...
	Oh, Matt, well, you know...
	You noticed this, too.
	I mean, I was just appalled.
	It is so horrific.
	It is such a setup.
	It is staged.
	It's a bunch of pals.
	It's ridiculous.
	Now, just back to the resolution for a second.
	I read the resolution.
	As John and I already discussed, more than half of it is about taking the money, which, as the president himself said, we played that last show, the largest seizure of assets in the country's history.
	So that's big.
	Ever.
	That's big, big, big.
	Ever.
	Big money.
	Big money.
	But in it, it doesn't say, go and shoot money.
	Rockets?
	It doesn't say you need, what kind of missiles are they?
	Tomahawks?
	It doesn't say, we will go and shoot down tomahawks.
	In fact, it expressly says, no fly zone, that no Libyan registered aircraft may fly over its airspace.
	There's a couple of ways you can prevent that from happening.
	One, which is the most typical in aviation, if some dude is flying up there, you go up there, You come next to him, you say, hey dude, you can't fly up here because, you know, like, we're your boss.
	We're the boss of you.
	And then if he doesn't want to do anything, then you can shoot him out.
	It doesn't say you can shoot 110 tomahawks of which, oh my gosh, only 20 actually hit their target.
	The rest was maybe collateral damage.
	You know, I want to mention something for our listeners.
	Those missiles cost $600,000 apiece.
	We just dropped, a country that is bankrupt, $60 million in missiles for what purpose?
	To get their oil, of course.
	Well, we've already got it, though.
	I mean, this is just a waste of money.
	Oh, it's the Arab Spring, John.
	How naive you are.
	Oh, the Arab Spring.
	How naive you are.
	So, okay.
	I have three clips in a row, and then I'll be done with this because I'm just so angry at George W. Obama.
	And if you voted for George W. Obama, you should be kicking yourself right now.
	And I wish...
	Well, very few of our listeners are that dumb.
	I wish I could...
	You voted for McCain, dude.
	Hey, you've been worse.
	I wish somehow I could just have...
	If all of our brothers and sisters, boots on the ground, wings in the skies, ships at sea, if they would just sit down and say, I'm not going to do it!
	Just like, no, I'm not going to do it.
	I'm not.
	That would be the bravest thing in the world.
	I understand it's easy to say.
	Yeah, they'd be in jail and shot.
	It's easy to say.
	Thanks to you.
	If they all sat down, if they all sat down, including the commanders.
	You can't even get anybody to listen to the show.
	Yeah, true.
	All right, so I've been learning so much in these past few days.
	So, Louis Farrakhan.
	Louis Farrakhan goes on a Chicago radio station, and I have three quotes from him, and he's like, John, if either of us mysteriously would commit suicide, two to the head, gun in the left hand, this guy can take over the slot in a second.
	Not a problem.
	So first he explains how it actually works and how the CIA, which of course is the whole economic hitman theory, how the CIA goes in and riles up people to start revolutions.
	So in every nation, brothers and sisters, there is dissatisfaction.
	And what the CIA does...
	Is go into a country and move among the people that are dissatisfied to stimulate a revolt against a leader that they don't like because they want regime change.
	I want to be specific.
	When George W. Bush was president, he said they wanted regime change in Iran, in Korea.
	Regime change.
	How do you get regime change, honest America?
	How do you do that?
	Congress, the Congress of the United States, voted To spend 150 million dollars to replace the government in Iran that America doesn't like.
	So they send their agents in to work among the dissatisfied.
	So when they had this election, And the people in Iran rose up.
	They have legitimate grievances, all right, but stimulated from the outside.
	So President Obama didn't want to put his foot into that cage, lest somebody say America inspired it because it was America's policy to destabilize that government.
	Well, what about...
	Okay, so...
	Could this guy be any duller?
	Well, hold on a second, because he's about to let loose.
	I mean, like, really let loose.
	But first, he talks about Libya, and he runs down the list of things that Gaddafi has done that he says are good.
	And I think it's interesting to hear that.
	They're dissatisfied.
	Well, what is their dissatisfaction about?
	Do they have jobs?
	Yes.
	Do they have food?
	Yes.
	Has Qaddafi used the oil money to build Libya?
	Yes.
	Did Qaddafi use oil money and discover water under the Sahara Desert and brought that water to the surface and brought water from Benghazi all the way to the border almost of Tunis?
	That's true, right?
	That's absolutely true.
	He did that.
	He brought the water from the desert.
	Did he impose farming in the desert so that they could feed their own people?
	Yes.
	Are there billions of dollars that he's spending building homes, building apartments for his people?
	Yes.
	So something is under this.
	And so when America...
	I think this is the point we've been making.
	Exactly.
	But now...
	But now we're going to have a guy who's boring make the point.
	No.
	No.
	Now we're going to have the guy who's going to pwn George W. Obama.
	And a hypocrite.
	And I warn my brother, don't you let these wicked demons...
	Move you in a direction that will absolutely ruin your future with your people in Africa and throughout the world.
	They don't like the way you handle Mubarak.
	They don't like the way you're handling the situation in the Arab world.
	So I would advise you to be careful and move with wisdom and skill.
	My advice would be, why don't you organize a group of respected Americans and ask for a meeting with Gaddafi?
	You can't order him to step down and get out.
	Who the hell do you think you are?
	That you can talk to a man that built a country over 42 years and ask him step down and get out?
	Can anybody ask you?
	Well, there's a lot now going to ask you to step out of the White House because they don't want no blackface in the White House.
	Be careful, brother, how you handle this situation because it is coming to America.
	It has already started.
	Look in Wisconsin.
	Look in Ohio.
	Look at what's going on in your country and remember your words because the American people are rising against their own government.
	It's not Muslims.
	It's not black people.
	It's white militia that are angry with their government and they are well armed.
	Are you going to tell them, put your arms down?
	And let's talk it over peacefully?
	I hope so.
	But if not, America will be bathed in blood, not because Farrakhan said so, but because the dissatisfaction in America has reached the boiling point.
	So I think that makes up for all the boring clips I've ever come up with.
	No, it's not boring.
	It's ten minutes of my life.
	I'll never get back.
	Oh, please.
	To paraphrase you.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Well, when I die...
	It is boring.
	If you played the last part only, it might have been okay.
	But this guy is a slow talker.
	And, you know, I don't know.
	So what?
	Yeah, I agree with him.
	But, you know, it's nothing that we haven't been saying.
	I know, but when we say it, it's like poop in the wind.
	It's like poop in the wind when Farrakhan says stuff to it.
	It actually diminishes our thought process, I believe.
	I think a lot of people think that Louis Farrakhan is a very scary guy.
	And then when you hear him talk like we do, I think it's interesting to hear that.
	You're right, maybe I shouldn't have played three clips, but we can always...
	Squirrel!
	What is that squirrel thing you keep playing?
	Well, didn't you know that squirrels are now attacking people?
	No, you're not up to speed.
	You set me up.
	Good one.
	Squirrels are attacking people.
	There are evil squirrels.
	This is big news.
	And it was a total throwback to when you had that incredibly boring...
	Oh, now I'm...
	Oh, now he's getting defensive.
	Vermont.
	Bennington, Vermont.
	People have been attacked by a squirrel.
	They think one, but I think it's a whole bunch of squirrels over the past couple of weeks.
	Squirrels?
	And then Prince Charles comes out and says, It cannot be beyond us to put the red squirrel back in its rightful place within this country's wildlife and thus give it untold pleasure to our successors in years to come.
	Squirrel!
	So there must be something with squirrels.
	They must be part of some new world order.
	We had this squirrel meme on the show about a year and a half, two years ago with my wife.
	And notice how donations have gone up since then.
	My wife killed one, and then they were out to get her.
	I forgot how we got out of that curse.
	Yeah, by not talking about it anymore, probably.
	Stopping the insanity.
	Alright, well, speaking of boring, how boring were we on the last show?
	Did anyone pony up and help us out?
	We got a couple of good donations.
	I think we did okay.
	Don't say that!
	Whenever you say that, then the next week sucks!
	Well, no, it'll be better because I'm going to do a mailing this week.
	Oh, okay.
	You know, helping people understand what the process we go through to do this show and how miserable we are as individuals.
	As a result of it.
	And I think it's affecting our immediate families as well.
	Do you notice this?
	I don't know, but I noticed there was a lot of shards of metal in my breakfast.
	I'm on the Dvorak family email list now, which is kind of frightening.
	Take him off the list.
	No, please keep me on it.
	Don't expect me to respond all the time.
	Dude, they're bigger crackpots than I am.
	Mimi has, like, tracked this entire earthquake thing right down to...
	Well, she goes crazy when she gets on a topic.
	That's why this egg book is going to be so spectacular.
	Yeah, okay.
	I can't wait for it, along with the pepper book.
	The Salt book.
	Whatever the other book was.
	Salt would be a good book.
	Where's the book?
	What's the previous book she was doing?
	Yeah, yeah.
	You know, were you in a rush?
	I'm going to do a book on a very short book.
	Very short book.
	But I bet you it would sell.
	I bet you a Hot Pockets book would sell like crazy.
	It probably would.
	So I want to thank a couple people here for this week.
	You know what I need is about three screens, I think, instead of the one that I use.
	It's just...
	What?
	I'm constrained.
	I've got to fix this office up.
	But John Vandereese, we want to thank him for...
	And I'm pronouncing his name right, I hope.
	Jan van der Ries.
	How do you spell it?
	Jan van der Ries.
	Is it one word?
	Jan?
	No.
	Van, V-A-N-D-E-R-R-E-I-S. R-E-I-S? Yeah.
	And he's American?
	I don't know.
	No, he lives in Mexico, but I guarantee that's not his Mexican name.
	Juan Fanderis.
	Okay, Juan.
	Señor Fanderis.
	Señor.
	Señor, thank you.
	What did you do?
	He gave us $111.11.
	Oh, wow.
	Hello, everybody.
	$111.11 because he was...
	Let me just read you his note.
	So he's the executive producer for today's show.
	Well, he's also a knight.
	And he's also a knight.
	Yeah.
	Do we have him listed as a knight?
	No.
	Oh, no, we don't have him listed as a knight because he doesn't show up on the spreadsheet.
	Yeah, but he's a knight in my book.
	Yeah, we'll put him up.
	We'll knight him, yeah.
	Okay.
	So you guys not only make my Thursdays and my Sundays worthwhile.
	I want everyone out there to listen to this note.
	Because I think it's important.
	But you also keep me from going insane!
	Squirrel!
	Keep up the excellent work and I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the only sane show in this insane world.
	It's a privilege and an honor to listen to you two.
	And yes, I would love a Tuesday show.
	I'm an old fart and used to read John's books.
	I'm old prematurely now because of it.
	Yeah, well, it's good to be.
	And he's followed Adam since his early podcast, which is really great stuff, according to him.
	Being a pilot, too, for me, is only natural to enclose my bank's transfer confirmation, which he does, and he sends us the money directly.
	Which you can do, by the way.
	You can send us checks.
	You can go to Dvorak.org slash NA. And there's an address you can send checks to.
	And if you want to do a wire transfer, if it's more than, you know, two, three, four hundred bucks, you can just ask me and I'll give you the wire transfer.
	That's just so incredibly sweet of him.
	Yeah, it was very nice.
	So nice.
	I mean, that really helps.
	My goodness, that helps.
	And also, we have two co-executive producers, including Charles Jordan, who is now, or getting close to being a sir.
	He says he's almost to his black knighthood.
	Do we have him listed?
	Because it says Sir Charles Jordan here.
	No.
	I tie anywhere, foundationbar.com.
	He wants to call out Shelby as a douchebag.
	Hold on.
	So he's in night as well?
	Well, it says night here, but this is JC doing the spreadsheet.
	I don't know if he understands.
	But we have a new category here, co-executive producers.
	Yeah, that's because we've got two of them.
	And we have Will Lysak.
	Lysak.
	Zick.
	It says right here, Will Lysick.
	Yeah, that's what I said, Lysick.
	Lysick.
	Yeah.
	In Happy Valley.
	He gets a lot of publicity because we pronounce his name so much.
	Happy Valley, Oregon, who joined the 300 Commemoration Club.
	Right.
	And so he'll be a co-executive producer with Charles Jordan, who will become a Black Knight eventually, or if he...
	We have to explain what a black knight really is, because we do have one today.
	In today's show, we're going to give the black knighthood to one of our female listeners.
	It's when we blow it and we don't get you the knighthood when you're supposed to get it, then we honor you with the black knight.
	It's just nothing you can sign up for.
	It's like, yeah, you can't buy it.
	You can't buy your way into that.
	You just can't.
	You have to hope we screw up.
	Uh...
	Then, uh...
	That's it, right?
	Yeah, that's our boys.
	Okay.
	A couple of PR mentions.
	Truthiness.com, now pointing to NoAgendaShow.com.
	We highly appreciate that.
	Interesting that the No Agenda BatSignal for the Mac, which is part of the new Mac, you know, the desktop, so not like the iOS, but the regular OS X app store.
	The No Agenda BatSignal, which is 99 cents, is in the top 10 best sold, top paid, News apps.
	Is that weird or what?
	Well, it either says something about the size of our audience, which would be disappointing, looking at the giving levels, or it says something about the popularity of Mac apps.
	I don't know.
	One or the other.
	But I think it's...
	I'm very proud.
	I'm very proud.
	I thought it was wild that I saw the BatSignal get to the top ten.
	Well, you know, we've got a lot of people who want the bat signal, and it works.
	You know, whenever I send out the bat signal, it works on your iPhone, and it also works on your growl.
	It's a great product.
	It is a great product.
	Love this domain name, and I can't believe that no one thought of it.
	Who is JohnDvorak.com?
	As in, who is John Galt?
	Yeah, that's a good one.
	I'm liking that a lot.
	I think it's really, really good.
	And then a big shout-out to We Are Change Holland.
	I tweeted this picture yesterday.
	More pictures to come.
	Indeed, they had a huge banner.
	They were demonstrating in the Hague, where the government sits, for the eighth anniversary of the war in Iraq and the initiation of the war in Libya.
	And a huge sign.
	They took a picture of it on the ground with a wooden shoe on top that says, Google no agenda.
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	And apparently they were holding the banner during the demonstration and it also showed up on TV. I haven't seen a video of it yet.
	But it's a big banner.
	It's a really beautiful professional banner.
	We need more of that.
	Of course we do.
	It's great.
	So we really appreciate all of those PR efforts foremost.
	And then, of course, our co-executive producers for today's episode, 288, Charles Jordan, Will Lysack, and our executive producer, Jan van der Reis.
	It could be Reese, depending on how you want to pronounce it, but since he's from Mexico, we'll probably knight him Sir Juan.
	And everyone else out there, you've got a very clear mission.
	You need to take our formula, go out, and you've got to propagate it.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	World.
	All right, everybody, say it loud because you all are one.
	Shut up, slaves!
	Shutupslaves.com, of course, also still resolves to noagendashow.com.
	Another winner.
	Yeah, all winners.
	We are all winners.
	And tonight I'm going to do a special encore presentation for Miss Mickey of Team America.
	I can't wait.
	She's never seen the movie.
	How can you watch it?
	It's very funny.
	What are you talking about?
	I can't get it.
	It's funny to a point that once you get the gag, it's like, oh, I can't take it anymore.
	I could never get through that movie.
	But you have to kind of stick with it.
	If you stick with it, then there's some hilarious, really unbelievably hilarious bits in there.
	I mean, like, yeah.
	Yeah, I guess it's kind of like sticking with those Farrakhan clips, I guess, at the end.
	Farrakhan!
	So much for keeping the show clean.
	So, yeah, good work.
	So, I want a couple of little side notes on this thing in Libya, which I thought was pretty funny.
	Did you see this clip?
	I've got it.
	Play the clip.
	This is from a local news show because they fed this everywhere, so it was a news item.
	Jet blows up good.
	Yeah, I did.
	Tripoli, it's believed they're trying to form a human shield to protect the Libyan leader from attack.
	And from Benghazi tonight, the stronghold of the opposition movement comes word that Gaddafi's forces have moved back out of that city following an intense assault both on the ground and from the air.
	Here you see a fighter jet on fire and plummeting towards the ground.
	Opposition leaders tell CNN that was one of their jets that they had hoped to use to stop Gaddafi's bombers.
	Well, now you can see it hitting the ground and blowing up.
	Hold on a second.
	Let me get this straight.
	This is the rebels in the Star Wars movie, right?
	They got a couple of jets.
	I don't know where they keep them.
	I don't know where I'd keep my personal jet.
	By the way, there's no maintenance on those things at all.
	No, they're maintenance-free, those jets.
	And they use kerosene.
	You could use a cooking oil and the things will fly.
	No worries.
	Who are we kidding with this blowing?
	Oh, there goes our jet.
	Oh, that's the jet we wanted.
	Oh, it was the jet!
	Hey, Mustafa!
	Mustafa, can't you keep the jet in the air?
	You stupid idiot!
	Who is buying this malarkey?
	And what's even better is, it's not like...
	You see the thing catch fire.
	It's not like...
	It's not like...
	Like it got shot all of a sudden.
	It just catches on fire.
	Like a Simpsons movie.
	Like Homer Simpson flying.
	Can I smoke on board here?
	Oh, it's an ashtray.
	Hilarious.
	No, I know.
	I know.
	These are the rebels with AK-47s.
	And a jet!
	We've got our jet.
	Yeah, no maintenance required.
	It should be a break.
	Not at all.
	I mean, especially in the desert.
	Where does it take off from?
	From the sand.
	It's real easy.
	Why don't they shoot if there's all this activity in the sky with the recipients?
	Why don't they just find the jet and shoot it in the ground?
	What a bunch of bullcrap!
	As an aviator, that is indeed the most hilarious thing in the world.
	Yeah, because you can just lay down some railroad tracks or something and you just take off with the jet.
	And landing is real easy in the desert, in the sand.
	Just keep the nose wheel up.
	Don't worry about it.
	Everything will be fine.
	Can you imagine?
	Hey, how many airfields do they have in Libya?
	If they hit 20 targets out of the 110 tomahawks, Do they have 20 airfields?
	I don't know.
	Who knows?
	The whole thing is so sketchy.
	We don't really know anything.
	As far as we know, Gaddafi's already...
	I'll tell you, some of my UFO videos are more believable than that jet video.
	That jet video.
	There it goes.
	Boom.
	It had like supersonic speed, which is why it fell down like a brick.
	Straight down nose first.
	Anyway.
	Yeah, it was very funny.
	That was hilarious.
	I had a couple other funny things I thought.
	I was playing this clip, this Hillary not in bed with the Arabs clip, which you can...
	Well, there's two.
	There's two.
	Yeah, part one is the one that would go first, then part zero, because part one, when she starts to talk about the Arabs, she starts to get, you know, she has tells.
	We know this.
	We've talked about it before.
	She touches her nose.
	She's touching her nose.
	I'll tell you when she touches her nose.
	I saw this.
	I saw it.
	I saw it.
	Ready?
	Yeah.
	Requests.
	And it is in America's interests, along with our European and Canadian allies, to forge strategic partnerships with Arab nations as we move forward into this new era of change in the Arab world.
	So there are very...
	She's such a liar.
	She hates the Arabs.
	So I found the clip within her press conference where I guarantee you're going to be able to spot the tell.
	Hold on a second.
	I'm sorry.
	You're going to be able to spot the tell.
	This is the part...
	Well, I saw this whole thing, so of course I know.
	...that are not in that long list.
	I also had the opportunity to engage today with my Arabs...
	I caught that.
	I lied.
	Bullshit.
	I got the opportunity to...
	So anyway, she apparently doesn't like the Arabs.
	But this whole thing is...
	Muslims, probably.
	This whole thing, it's like Clinton 1, Clinton 2.
	It's the same script.
	No fly zone.
	Kill all brown people who believe in something else.
	Hillary, why don't you go and kill some people in Libya?
	You lesbian dyke!
	Well, you know, she probably hates the Arabs because they don't like women in general, at least the Arab states don't.
	And they don't want to have some woman coming from the U.S. I mean, I think it's almost like we're doing this on purpose because Clinton had, what's her name, that big fat woman, whose name eludes me, as the Secretary of State, you know, the one with the clipped hair, and she was just a...
	Oh, you mean the older woman?
	Yeah, the old lady.
	Madeline, this is how pathetic we are on this show.
	I know her real name, but we need to come up with a Dvorak name.
	So it's Maggie Albright.
	Yeah.
	Her name is Madeline, but maybe it should be...
	What's a better name for Albright?
	No, it shouldn't be with an M at all.
	Tina.
	Tina Albright.
	No, Tina's no good for her.
	No?
	You think of Tina Fey, you know, it's not a good association.
	Oh, no, that's not good.
	It's got to come with somebody else.
	Well, anyway, Albright, and then...
	Monica.
	Monica Albright.
	George Obama, the first...
	He comes in and he has Condoleezza Rice, which is not only a woman, but a black woman, to really piss off the Arabs.
	So then they come off with another one to piss off the Arabs.
	And this one hates the Arabs, you can tell, because she's always coughing.
	Oh, yeah.
	It must be palpable for a female Secretary of State when they're meeting with these assholes in the Middle East.
	Oh, and they shake their hands, and they don't wear the burqa.
	Oh, yeah.
	They hate it.
	Of course, it's super insulting.
	Yeah.
	But I'm sure that the women find it insulting.
	I mean, everybody's insulted.
	Let's put it that way.
	Yeah.
	It's like one big insult fest.
	Totally.
	Like, everybody is in the room.
	Insult fest 2011.
	So, of course, this is not only restricted to hilarity ensuing in the United States of Gitmo Nation.
	Over there in the United States of Europe, our buddy, Nigel Farage...
	Oh!
	I can sit back and relax.
	This will not be boring, as he takes on Haiku Hermann, the President of the United States of Europe, and he has picture material to go along with his presentation for today's two-minute session in the European Parliament.
	Mr. Van Rompuy, I hope you'll resist the calls for military action this afternoon.
	Indeed, the Liberal leader, Mr. Verhofstadt, made a very pro-war speech.
	I hope you will resist that on the grounds that there is no legitimacy or consent for the European Union to take military action, and that experience shows that if you go into military action, that may be easy, but getting out of it could be rather more difficult, and getting involved in Libya could indeed be a Vietnam-type experience. and getting involved in Libya could indeed be a Vietnam-type So please, please resist it.
	But on Colonel Gaddafi himself, you're quite right to say that what's happening in Libya is really very wrong indeed.
	But of course we knew that even before the uprising.
	Just last year he declared a holy war, a jihad, against the Swiss.
	He tried to blackmail the European Union.
	Do you remember?
	He said, give us 5 billion euros or we'll flood you with migrants.
	And of course he's the man who was happy to embrace al-Megrahi, the man who committed the biggest ever mass murder.
	In British history.
	But what you didn't tell us in your speech was about the fact that you actually know Mr.
	Gaddafi.
	Indeed, you went to meet him in December, didn't you?
	Do you remember?
	In fact, there's a jolly nice photograph of you and Mr.
	Gaddafi holding hands.
	Holding hands!
	In fact, I have to say, I've never seen you smiling more or looking happier.
	I mean, perhaps he's an old drinking mate.
	I don't know!
	I wonder why?
	Why would you want to be photographed with Mr Gaddafi?
	And I put it to you that it could well be that since you were appointed as President of Europe, and your sidekick, the noble Baroness Ashton, became the High Representative for Foreign Affairs...
	You could just see him.
	Hey everybody, it's the Haiku Herman and sidekick Bearman Ashton Show.
	Good morning everybody!
	Hey everybody!
	That you know that you've been seen on the global stage like a couple of political pygmies.
	As WikiLeaks showed, you were very unhappy that you weren't being recognized.
	Unhappy that you were snubbed by Obama.
	And here was the chance to go along and be accepted by a head of state.
	I don't think that you there, parading with dictators, was a very good or a sensible thing to do.
	Indeed, not just you, the British Labour government made similar mistakes.
	But I do ask you, at this juncture, and with the horrendous things that are going on in Libya, I do ask you, do you accept that it was an error to be photographed as recently as December with Colonel Gaddafi?
	And will you please, please if you do, apologise for it?
	So he doesn't, of course.
	Of course not.
	That's a good one.
	But the picture is literally of him and Gaddafi holding hands and he has this shit-eating grin on his face.
	It's so funny.
	Do you have that in the show notes?
	Yeah, of course.
	Of course.
	This is what the show notes are all about, man.
	Are you kidding me?
	This came through on the NoAgendaNewsNetwork.com.
	If you have not checked it out yet, we signed up...
	I think about ten more producers who are contributing to it.
	So does Haiku Herrmann being there with Gaddafi, smiling, holding hands, is that the beginning of time and time again?
	We've asked him to stop.
	In December, I held his hand and I said, please stop.
	Please stop.
	In December.
	In December.
	Now we're looking at what?
	What is the date?
	March 20th.
	We're not even in the second quarter.
	Yeah.
	I mean, all that I want, all I want, really, is just write down the names of everybody you see on television saying that the slaughter and the Holocaust, and it's a lie.
	It's such a...
	This is...
	The Arab Spring has sprung.
	This is it.
	The Arab Spring is underway.
	Did you hear about El Baraday?
	No, I didn't hear about El Baraday.
	So El Baraday, now he's the guy who's connected to George Soros, who immediately popped up and went...
	Yeah.
	Yeah, everyone wants me to be the new president of Egypt.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Oh, right, Baraday, the guy didn't show up.
	Well, Anderson Cooper starts interviewing him in his backyard.
	Yeah, right.
	Now you know it's a rigged deal.
	Anderson Cooper's in the guy's backyard.
	Well, of course, what is, well, it's being reported, but underreported.
	Is that they're going to do elections.
	They held elections in Egypt.
	What?
	What?
	Wait a minute!
	And all the slaves who stood out there in Tahrir Square are like, no, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
	This is too soon!
	This is not okay!
	We haven't even formed political parties yet!
	So El Barade shows up.
	You've got to pronounce it properly so people take you seriously.
	El Barade shows up to vote, and the slaves start throwing stones at him and saying, we don't want an American agent.
	You live in the United States.
	You just want to rule us.
	Get out.
	And they're throwing rocks at him.
	He couldn't even vote.
	Love it.
	That's not reported, of course.
	Oh, you can't report that.
	It's anti-American.
	Well, the same thing happened in Haiti.
	So this is great.
	So Haiti, of course, as you know, they had the rigged vote, and everyone went like, this is rigged.
	We're not going to do this.
	But then they have this official body, which includes America.
	Here are the two.
	It's a runoff between these two.
	So the two candidates are an elitist woman, former first lady, and the new puppet...
	Sweet Mickey Martelli, who's like a carnival singer, like on the Carnival cruise ship.
	And he's supposed to be the popular guy.
	Now you'll recall that Wyclef Jean, of course, was totally under control of Clinton, was flying on the oil jet, and was wearing his suit and everything.
	And they weren't buying that.
	And he went too far.
	And even the elites went, dude, you're off the list.
	So we're not going to let you compete because you're just being a douche.
	You don't get it.
	You've got to be humble.
	You've got to be one of the people.
	You went too far.
	And, of course, the people of Haiti are not stupid.
	So they're getting ready to do this runoff, which is happening today.
	As we speak, people have been voting.
	I would have never known.
	I don't see this on the CNN report.
	No.
	They're voting today between the elitist woman, former first president, and sweet Mickey Martelli.
	And Wyclef Jean.
	Of course shows up.
	And the slaves there, they're not stupid.
	They're going to throw rocks.
	They just shoot him!
	They shot the guy!
	They only got his hand, but they're like, Hey, you!
	What are you doing here?
	Get out of here!
	They shot who?
	They shot Wyclef Jean!
	In the hand!
	Yeah, they shot him!
	Get the hell out!
	They're trying to kill him!
	Of course they're trying to kill him!
	This guy is evil!
	He's not even evil, he's too stupid to know.
	How does this not get reported?
	No, this is being reported.
	Okay.
	Yeah, this is being reported.
	Wycliffe John shot.
	Yes.
	By the way, this is all a moot point anyway.
	Because everyone there is going to die.
	It's always been a moot point.
	But it's worse now because BBC also reporting Haiti collar far worse than expected.
	They expected, yeah, you know, maybe...
	Half a million people might get it.
	Now it looks like it's going to be over a million people with cholera, which means the island is wiped out.
	Yeah, well, a million people with cholera is bad, and then, of course, that'll prevent a lot of people from going there to help them.
	Help, yeah.
	And, uh...
	Yeah.
	Hey, Charlie Sheen!
	Charlie Sheen, come on!
	And then, of course, you never gave them the money.
	All those $10 donations all the people out there pushed down.
	Oh, let's dial our cell phones.
	Yeah, yeah, right.
	Yeah, that never went there.
	And so I think, actually, with the world, everything being upside down, everything you're told is exactly the opposite.
	I think that Aristide going back to Haiti is probably a good thing.
	This guy was probably good for the country.
	Of course, he's been portrayed as a horrible man.
	Yeah, and we're the ones who rousted him, and we've always liked the horrible people in there.
	I don't know what the deal is with him.
	Let's face it, we only make suppositions on our show based on what we can dig up, because we go to local sources and we do some deconstruction.
	But we don't have a clue what the hell's really going on.
	We don't really know nothing.
	But I have incredibly good news, John.
	I have the headline of the week.
	You ready for it?
	Okay.
	Justin Bieber joined Celebrity Charity Auction to save the Earth.
	Oh, is he going to save the Earth?
	Yes.
	Just when we thought we couldn't do it, there's Justin Bieber to save the Earth.
	Huh.
	Yeah, I found this cool site and I'm tracking them now of all these awesome celebrity stuff.
	So Yoko Ono and Lou Reed and Sonic Youth...
	Are going to do a special performance.
	I mean, you know what?
	I will pay $100 to any charity just to have Yoko Ono not sing.
	Seriously.
	Have you ever heard her sing?
	Really?
	You've been to a concert?
	You can sing better than she can.
	I can sing pretty good.
	So they're doing a special for Japan.
	A special concert.
	Of course, Yoko Ono knows all about Japan.
	Because they all wear top hats in Japan.
	And this was the best in the Celebrity Ambassadors.
	Now, this is very interesting.
	Wayne Elsey.
	Wayne Elsey.
	Uh...
	Now, this guy does a whole bunch of these charity things.
	I think he was probably involved in the MTV George Clooney telethon for Haiti.
	And he's the CEO of Souls for Souls, a charity he created to follow the 2004 South Asian tsunami.
	There's not been a telethon.
	It's driving me crazy.
	Is that what he says?
	Yes, literally.
	It's just driving me crazy.
	We need a telethon.
	George Clooney, where are you?
	We need a telethon to help these poor people.
	We need to collect money so we can get rid of Clinton and Bush.
	Please, we just need that.
	Yeah, it's unbelievable.
	I wonder how long the...
	I don't know.
	It's just annoying, the whole thing.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Hey, what happened there?
	Well, it didn't work.
	There we go.
	We just need cash.
	I know a lot of people want to send blankets or water.
	Nah, don't do that.
	Just send your cash.
	There's some good crackpot stuff out there about the earthquake and tsunami.
	Yeah?
	Yeah.
	Stuff that I wouldn't even say.
	That's pretty crackpot.
	Well, you know, I did pull out the...
	I said harp, right?
	But these guys are saying that the evil elitists...
	So their list is Bilderberg, New World Order, whatever, Knights Templar.
	Knights Templar.
	Hello!
	They said they set off nuclear bombs.
	Oh, sure.
	That started the tsunami that had the earthquake.
	And what's interesting is if it was a real tsunami, then it would have really reached Hawaii because it was only a nuclear bomb.
	It was just a local thing that started.
	There's a whole theory behind it.
	But that would kind of explain all this radioactive...
	I mean, they're checking Toyota cars now or Nissan cars coming in because it might be radioactive.
	Yeah.
	This makes no sense.
	But if you set off a nuke, yeah, then stuff could be radioactive.
	And who would have set this nuke off?
	The evil elites.
	The overlords.
	The evil elites.
	Hillary Clinton.
	Might as well call it by her name.
	Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, George W. Obama.
	All those dudes.
	Did you read...
	You have to...
	No, you probably haven't.
	Playboy did their big interview with Helen Thomas.
	Now you know Helen Thomas, of course, she has covered every president since LBJ? No, I think it was even before that.
	Who was before LBJ? Kennedy.
	Oh yeah, no, she followed Kennedy.
	You're right.
	Who was before Kennedy?
	Eisenhower.
	No, I don't think she followed Eisenhower.
	She's old.
	She's 90 now.
	Maybe.
	Why not?
	Could be.
	Kennedy, for sure.
	And so, of course, what happened was, and she is of Arab descent, she got caught on camera saying, someone said, so what do you think of Israel?
	And she just said, they should get the hell out of Palestine.
	And this whole interview, you have to read this.
	It is just a very open, phenomenal, all the things you're not allowed to say.
	Like, she makes a distinction between the Jews and the Zionists.
	And these are all the things you cannot say.
	These words may not pass your lips.
	And she just says it.
	Well, she doesn't care.
	She said they control they.
	They control the media.
	They control the banking system.
	They control everything.
	Unbelievable.
	Unbelievable.
	And she says, you know, I don't care.
	I don't care.
	I just got to say it.
	And then she goes into Playboy.
	Then how do you make the claim that Jews are running the country?
	And then she says, ah, look at the Congress that just came in.
	Schumann.
	Lettinen.
	Lettinen.
	There's something funny here.
	Do you begrudge people like Steven Spielberg?
	The reporter is also Jewish, which makes it even funnier.
	I've got to read it.
	I'll read it.
	We'll read and discuss.
	Yeah, we should read it.
	Everyone should read this.
	It's very, very interesting.
	And, of course, she's really sad because she knows that all the work she did will go down in history as, you know, she was an anti-Semite.
	She cries, actually, during the interview.
	But she says, hey, Obama's not a Democrat.
	He's a Republican.
	You've got to be nuts.
	He didn't close Guantanamo.
	He didn't get out of Iraq or Afghanistan.
	It's baloney, she says.
	I love it when someone who's been around for nine decades just comes out and says stuff.
	She's got nothing to lose.
	They're not going to kill her anymore.
	It's baloney.
	It's baloney.
	I agree.
	I think the guy is more of a...
	Like you said, he's George W. Obama.
	Everybody was suckered by this hope and change bull crap.
	Hope and change?
	Change what?
	Do you remember that neighbor I had in San Francisco when I had the curry condo?
	I'd love to talk to her now.
	Remember the Obama bot?
	She would go to Camp Obama.
	Oh, the Obama bot.
	The one that you almost got into bed.
	Please.
	Please.
	No way.
	No, she kept leaving stickers by my door.
	Remember that?
	You collected some stickers from her, but where'd you do that stuff?
	You're supposed to give me some for my collection of political art.
	I think it got lost in the divorce.
	Someone much more deserving has them now.
	Yeah, no, you had an Obama bot living next door to you, and she was just, she was always busy because she was always at one of these, you know, because Obama had a really, whoever set up the Obama volunteer network had these people working themselves to the bone.
	They go to camps.
	Camp Obama camp.
	Yes, she went to a camp.
	Camp Obama.
	I remember that.
	Yeah.
	And she stayed there for like days learning.
	Learning how to do it.
	How to organize.
	So anyway, just a final thing from this interview.
	She's talking about vice presidents.
	Oh, here it is.
	This is about Kennedy.
	Days after the assassination were surreal.
	Jackie hadn't moved out of the White House and LBJ hadn't moved in.
	So every day we were going to LBJ's home and talking to him in the motorcade.
	It's funny thinking about it now.
	Today, Biden rides by like a monarch.
	With all sirens blaring, he has eight outriders, two scout cars, and I don't know how many police trailing in the back.
	LBJ demanded total silence for his motorcade around town and into the White House.
	And then the interviewer says, so what does that say about Joe Biden?
	Now, of course, John, you and I know the answer.
	He's a douchebag!
	Of course!
	He's a total douchebag!
	Whoop, whoop!
	Here I come!
	I'm the vice president!
	Here I come!
	Look at me!
	Squirrel!
	And she says, actually, it was Cheney who started it.
	That was his M.O. Now there was a vice president, she says laughing.
	The idea that he could have been president.
	I think Cheney is diabolical.
	How much money has he made from Halliburton?
	Now they're all hiding.
	He and his men, they've all slipped away into corporate life, university, or think tanks.
	I love Helen Thomas.
	Hilarious.
	Great interview.
	This is a must-read.
	It's not, of course, you should go on the No Agenda book list, although it's not a book, and it's not that long, but it's great.
	Is it online?
	Yes, it is online.
	Link in the show notes, noagendashow.com, and all of these great stories and more come through at noagendanewsnetwork.com.
	And my gay brothers and sisters are getting antsy.
	Finally.
	Finally they're getting antsy.
	As, you know, the Navy repeal training vignettes have come out.
	So, just a quick recap.
	The President, three months ago, signed the Don't Ask, Don't Tell Repeal Act, which didn't repeal anything because everything has to go through this whole certification process.
	In fact, the rule remains, in effect, expressly as so stated by the law until everyone signs off on it.
	How is the certification doing?
	Well, it's not doing too well, according to my gay brothers and sisters.
	I was reading, this is The Advocate.
	The repeal legislation established only one requirement before the President, Secretary of Defense, and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff could certify that the armed services were ready for repeal, that the Pentagon had prepared the necessary policies.
	Oops, hold on.
	I just scrolled off here for a second.
	There we go.
	The necessary polishes and regulations.
	90 days later, this relatively straightforward task has not been completed.
	And remember what the President said.
	We're not going to be dragging our feet to get this done.
	Well, this is very hilarious, these vignettes that are coming out.
	Standards of conduct.
	John, this is a question for you.
	You are an executive officer, John.
	While shopping at the local mall over the weekend, you observe two junior male service members assigned to your unit.
	They are in civilian clothes, kissing and hugging in the food court.
	Is this within standards of personal and professional conduct?
	No way!
	Oh, but John, standards of conduct regarding public displays of affection are orientation neutral.
	If the observed behavior crosses acceptable boundaries as defined in applicable standards of conduct for your unit in the Navy, then an appropriate correction should be made.
	Your assessment should be made without regard to sexual orientation.
	But it goes into some, like, a sailor has been observed entering, leaving, and generally hanging around a gay bar.
	The commanding officer is notified of the observations but isn't sure what action, if any, she should take.
	I think you go in there and start making out with her.
	That's the only appropriate action.
	I see where this is headed.
	It's absolutely hilarious.
	It's just so funny.
	And it's all about recruitment, and what if the chaplain has a problem with it?
	They're never going to get this through.
	Of course not.
	It was never designed to be true.
	Obama is full of crap.
	Yes, George W. Obama.
	Oh, yeah.
	Anyway.
	You know, he got the job.
	Look, let's face it.
	He gets this job.
	He got it prematurely.
	He didn't really do anything before to get the job, but he's very personable.
	He gives a good speech, follows orders.
	Which one?
	Which one of the two?
	Obama.
	Which one?
	The one with the grayer hair.
	The real Obama.
	Not the second guy.
	He takes the job and he's like, okay, what do you want me to do?
	He does what he's told.
	And they say, whatever you want, you can just travel all over the place and have the time of your life.
	Give your wife the other 747.
	I mean, what more could you ask for in life?
	Worse, worse.
	Give her the 747.
	You take the 757.
	Actually, he's taking the 757.
	Yeah, he takes the little plane.
	Yeah.
	Just like me and Mickey.
	And so it's like, so go do your own thing.
	Like this week, by the way, so he's in Brazil.
	He goes to Brasilia.
	On Sunday, today's show, he's in Rio.
	Hey, Carnevale!
	What's to do in Rio except party?
	Nothing.
	And so then on Monday, he's going to be in Santiago, Chile to party some more, maybe meet with somebody, have a meeting.
	Play some golf.
	Squirrel!
	By the way, there's a war going on.
	Two of them.
	Three of them.
	Three wars going on.
	So he's partying in South America.
	And by the way, South America is a party country.
	Now on Tuesday and Wednesday, he's going to be in El Salvador.
	Why?
	What is he doing there?
	Can you party there?
	I would hope so.
	Yeah, I think you can party there.
	It's cool.
	It's cool, man.
	And meanwhile, Hillary's partying in Paris and so jealous...
	Enjoy, everybody!
	It's such a great night in Paris!
	Woo!
	Those of you who get to stay, enjoy!
	Oh, I'm so jealous!
	She was wearing...
	You have to agree with me.
	She was wearing like a Chanel or some expensive Paris outfit.
	Her hair...
	In fact, even Mickey said, wow, her hair looks really good.
	And her hair was done by somebody in France, obviously.
	Patrick!
	Patrick!
	Patrick, do my hair!
	I have to talk to Jill and Matt.
	I would guess that she only went to Paris for the hairdo.
	And did you see her when she got off the plane?
	And she looked great there too.
	She had her garb on.
	She had her Chanel sunglasses.
	Her Jackie O's.
	Oh, hello!
	Nicola!
	Nicola!
	Tell me, what is your lovely wife, the one who's so tall?
	Where is she?
	Where is your formal singer-model wife?
	I love to hang out with her.
	She's so hot and sexy!
	So, I mean, the American public puts up with this.
	I mean, these guys aren't really working.
	I mean, unless you call that work, partying in Rio.
	I don't know what you do in Rio, except there's nothing.
	What is he doing in Rio?
	Hanging out and partying.
	How many times are you going to ask me this?
	It's ridiculous.
	Anyway.
	I got, uh...
	Where's Michelle in all of us?
	Sorry?
	What'd you say?
	I was wondering where Michelle is during this.
	Where's she partying?
	She must be somewhere.
	She don't get to party.
	Oh no, she must be with Obama floating around Brazil.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, right.
	Good point.
	Where are the kids?
	At school?
	I have no idea.
	So, just a little update on the biodiversity front.
	As there is a little conference going on now in...
	Let's see, where is this conference?
	It's the Fresh Air Conference, part of the EWEA, European Wind Energy Association.
	Mmm!
	Yes.
	The Wind Energy Association.
	Mmm!
	Global Wind Day.
	Hey, when's Global Wind Day?
	Are you making that sound, or is this the website making that sound?
	No, it's a wind generator behind my house.
	Global Wind Day.
	2011.
	It doesn't actually say when it is, but you can adopt a wind turbine.
	Why don't you just buy one?
	You can adopt one, which means you...
	I don't want to adopt one.
	What does that mean?
	Give somebody some money so they can make money off the thing?
	Give Europe a breath of fresh air.
	Show your support for wind energy.
	Does it give me, do I get a dividend for giving them money to build a wind generator?
	No, you get to feel good!
	This is a scam!
	Shut up, slave!
	So Connie Hedegaard, this is another one of my favorite people.
	Remember, she was appointed head honcho there in Copenhagen during the failed summit, where, of course, they moved the agenda a little bit further.
	Remember her?
	I think she's Danish.
	And, you know, she and Hillary should be in Paris together partying it up, but she's a little too busy at Global Wind Day.
	And, well, she has some good news.
	And you have to see this clip, because she's smiling, and she's happy, and she's like looking over at people going...
	Right now, the commission yesterday suggested that now we must have a stress test of all existing power plants in Europe, nuclear power plants.
	And as I mentioned in there, for the first time now, we actually have a directive, a legislation on nuclear security.
	And all these kind of measures, of course, will be looked through.
	And I think that if there is one thing that is for sure now in this present circumstance, that would be that nobody in Europe will start building new nuclear power plants unless all possible security measures are taking.
	And that is how it has always been in the European Union, and now it's even stronger with the legislation that all member states will have to have transposed at the latest middle of this year.
	Now, can someone please tell me where is the blow?
	Because I need to party.
	And she's so happy about it.
	I'm so happy to announce this here at the Queen Energy Day.
	There will be no nuclear plans.
	All the money comes to you.
	You stupid!
	So while you were watching this idiot...
	You were doing something constructive with your time.
	I was doing something more interesting.
	I was deconstructing C-SPAN. Again.
	Can we no longer trust C-SPAN now?
	No, no.
	I like C-SPAN, but this took me forever because I got some clips here, including one that I swear to God I had to listen for an hour and a half, and it was again at the end.
	Really?
	Yeah, I hate it when that happens.
	But then it is kind of like, it's like, it's like sting sex, like sting sex, you know, sting has sex for hours and he doesn't orgasm until the very, very end.
	Sting says this?
	Yeah, he says he could do it for like 14 hours nonstop.
	What malarkey.
	Okay, so I got a couple of things that are kind of interesting.
	There was one of those, on Book TV they have some interesting stuff, and they had this guy from MIT who's like a researcher, and he's obviously some guy's been in industry and out of industry.
	May I interrupt you for one moment?
	Yeah.
	Did you, I don't have the clip, but did you see Pierce Morgan, and he was, when the tsunami hit, and it was like big, oh, the reactors, and he had someone from MIT on, did you hear how he announced that?
	No.
	We have Professor So-and-so from MIT. Yeah.
	Mitt?
	He said Mitt?
	He said Mitt.
	You're kidding.
	No, no!
	Oh, you didn't get that clip?
	No, I didn't.
	I was watching on the wrong set.
	I can't afford another DVR on that TV. It's expensive.
	It's like another hundred bucks a month.
	Why don't you make a DVR? You can get a little machine and you have a little...
	Let me tell you something.
	It is hard enough because it's like these televisions become uncontrollable.
	Mickey can't control the televisions anymore.
	It's like you've got to hit this button and you've got to make sure you aim it at that, otherwise this doesn't go on.
	It's the one television she knows it will always work and I don't want to mess with that.
	I love her.
	You know, that's the funny thing you point this out because everything that's coming out, you know, they're always wondering why, you know, the Macintosh or why the iPad and some of these things or the iPhone for that matter and this new interface where you just flip, you know, push your finger across to go to the second page.
	Why these things are so popular?
	I think the public is fed up.
	With the complexity that they keep adding to everything, and nobody knows how to simplify.
	Stupid interfaces.
	Oh, yeah, no, I know.
	And it's with these multiple boxes, too.
	Because if you don't...
	It's the way it comes standard.
	If you don't hold the remote in the general direction of both the cable box and the television, one of the two won't go off.
	Wow, you hear that?
	We have...
	Wow, my God.
	It's like now...
	We have the hail here now.
	Oh, you know, so I had a hailstorm.
	Today is the L.A. Marathon.
	Squirrel!
	Oh, great.
	You know, the hailstorm that we had up here was so painful, and there were big pieces of hail.
	They were about the size of a pea, and I've collected it.
	We had like two, like an inch that covered the ground.
	It looked like a snowfall, and it ripped my, I have a plum tree, and the hail ripped the tree to shreds.
	My nose.
	It ripped the tree to shreds.
	There's pieces of pieces, little shreds of leaves everywhere.
	You know what that is?
	That's climate disruption.
	It's climate disruption.
	Alright, let's get back to your MIT consultant.
	Okay, so the guy is from MIT. That's a new one.
	MIT. Uh-huh.
	And he, his name is William Lehrer, and he's talking with one of the C-SPAN interviewers about, you know, what does he do, and what's it...
	And the more they talk about it, it's obvious that what's going on, and apparently, and this guy keeps bringing it up, and I'm going to just play some clips and you tell me what you think I'm picking up on.
	This is Mitt Consulted Part 0?
	I got Part 0, Part 1, and Part 2.
	Let's start with Part 1.
	Okay, hold on.
	Alright, part one and we go.
	To move forward, I think that's an ongoing dialogue.
	I think the FCC has a role to play in it.
	I was sort of not terribly comfortable with the original, for example, FCC rules on non-discrimination, largely because I didn't think they were ultimately enforceable, and I think they get you into a whole lot of other problems about, you know...
	They beg more questions than they answer, like, you know, what's a specialized service?
	What's the Internet?
	You know, is interconnection part of the access?
	Can you regulate access without regulating interconnection?
	What is this about?
	This is about the Internet.
	What is the Internet?
	The future of the Internet.
	Did you notice a key word in there that it keeps bringing up?
	Play clip two and the word will show up again.
	I think the industry...
	It needs to be very proactive because I don't think it's a reasonable position for them to take that they can essentially push off any kind of meaningful international regulation or cooperation forever.
	And they need to help the people that don't want it to be something like the ITU or the UN give them some alternatives to work with.
	Now, if you didn't pick up on the word in those two clips, I think it makes it really clear with the Part Zero clip.
	Where we're not in a position to just sort of tear that house down, that regulatory house down completely, and say we want nothing there.
	But we haven't yet figured out how we map this to the Internet, which is the new PSTN, the new essential infrastructure that we want to think about how to regulate.
	This is Internet 2 or the PS... What's PSTM? The phone system is all switching.
	Oh, PSTN. Okay.
	So it's all the regulation, regulation, regulation is what I'm hearing.
	Yeah.
	Hello?
	Regulation, regulation, regulation.
	Well, yeah.
	Yeah, no, we've got to buy...
	I figure the golden age of the Internet is over in about two years.
	Right.
	And it's going to be regulated to death.
	Yeah.
	And it's...
	And I... You can put it down as my prediction...
	It will require a license to do podcasting.
	And here's how it will go.
	If that's true, and I think there's a high likelihood, here's how it goes.
	Yes, we have a call from the Department of Internet, from Mr.
	Curry.
	Yeah?
	What's up?
	Yeah, we really would like you to, since you're the podfather, we'd really like you to lead the charge and show everyone that the podcast license is really good and really necessary.
	Would you please participate in that?
	We'd really like you to come to the White House while you can meet Barack and Michelle.
	That's how it always goes.
	Guarantee you.
	Guarantee you.
	I can just wait for the call.
	By the way, they're stupid.
	They don't know about this show.
	They don't know what I'm talking about.
	It's like that reptilian, the queen.
	Who invited me to come and shake her hand.
	Yeah, I shook her hand.
	She didn't know who you were from Adam.
	You are Adam!
	She had no clue.
	But I didn't bow my head.
	I looked her right in the eye.
	And I've never been the same since.
	Did you wink?
	No.
	She looked back at me like there was no one in there.
	It was very scary.
	I met Bobby Kennedy once and he was the same way.
	No, he's dead.
	Blank.
	He's dead now.
	Yeah, well, there you have it.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	Yeah, regulation.
	Yeah, of course.
	But that's nothing new.
	I mean, who was it?
	Did I tell you this last show that one of our producers did a survey for Verizon?
	And the survey was, would you be interested in a package that gives you unlimited access to Facebook and Twitter?
	Yeah.
	But you have to pay extra for, like, other things?
	And if you wanted news, you could buy news.
	Hey, I've got unlimited access to Facebook and Twitter now.
	Yeah.
	It's amazing, right?
	Hey, dude, isn't your birthday coming up?
	In April.
	Yeah, what is it?
	April 6th?
	5th.
	April 5th.
	We maybe should have a special, you know, donation drive for my birthday.
	Yeah, now you're talking.
	I'm not getting any younger.
	It'll be nice.
	Finally, it'll be 50.
	That's cool.
	We'll do a happy birthday thing.
	When I do the mailing on this coming Wednesday, I'll put a happy birthday.
	It's a good idea.
	I never thought about it.
	I don't think about myself that much.
	I think about the show.
	I think about the listeners.
	I know.
	You think of the show.
	And SecureID has a little problem.
	I'm sure you heard about that one.
	No, I didn't.
	I missed it.
	The X3 man.
	Oh, the RSA Security Division.
	Oh, yeah.
	Right.
	I heard that.
	They had a breach.
	Oops.
	Now, of course, these are the guys who have the encryption for secure ID, which is this whole thing that's coming up, right?
	This is the mark of the beast we're getting on our driver's licenses, which, by the way, has been debunked.
	It's not this May.
	It's May 2013, apparently.
	Didn't we say that in the last show, 2013?
	No, we didn't say that.
	But it is 2013.
	And so they're waffling about, like, yeah, don't worry.
	It was a persistent attack, which means they were in there for a while.
	And the whole RSA, of course, they have to basically throw everything out.
	There's no way.
	Once those guys are in...
	But I think at this point, if someone can get their hands on the SecureID Challenge device, that they can probably circumvent it.
	If you have the serial number or whatever.
	Well, I think more interesting and more hackable and more dangerous is going to be these near-field communications chips that are going to be in the new iPhone, and they're already in the Google phone.
	Well, it's in that Google phone.
	Yeah, I know.
	The Google phone has it.
	Of course, you can turn it.
	Luckily, you can go inside your settings and turn it off.
	Oh, yeah.
	And you know what, John?
	It's really turned off, just like your location is really turned off.
	Yeah, well, it might not be turned off.
	It's not turned off.
	You don't know one way or the other.
	I mean, somebody can find out.
	So I had a SIM card laying around.
	I like that phone, by the way.
	Yeah, I do, too.
	So I threw an AT&T SIM card in there.
	And I got an email from AT&T the next day.
	We noticed that you have a smartphone, and we've automatically enrolled you in a data plan.
	I'm like, what?
	What?
	Yeah.
	This thing, I just had it laying around.
	It's a long story as to how it came to be, so it's just a regular phone SIM. It doesn't have a data plan or anything on it, and I just threw it into the phone, just because I wanted to have the phone working.
	And I had one laying around anyway.
	And I didn't want to start up a T-Mobile account or whatever it came with.
	You didn't look in the box because there is a T-Mobile?
	No, it's not an activated T-Mobile card.
	Oh, what is it?
	Yeah, it's just a T-Mobile card and then you call and you can activate and you can prepay.
	Oh, a prepay system, huh?
	Yeah.
	But I have no credit, so why even bother?
	Like, we're sorry.
	I could call it right now and you would hear, we're sorry.
	We cannot confirm your prepay credit.
	I have no credit.
	Get a card from Mechanics Bank.
	They'll give you a debit card.
	So we got a pretty interesting email from producer Paul the InfoSec guy.
	Did you see this?
	Were you on this email thread?
	Was what?
	Your voice went into overdrive.
	What happened?
	We got this email.
	It sounded like somebody grabbed...
	Actually, I blogged about this.
	About what?
	About RFID in vaccines.
	Oh, oh, oh.
	Well, what he did is he actually found two things which made it, because this is a theory I've had for a long time.
	He says the recapturing of the 500 megahertz spectrum by the government is exactly the spectrum that is needed to read these wideband RFID system tags.
	Did you know that?
	I'm dubious.
	Well, I have it right here.
	United States patent 7504952.
	Active radio frequency identification tag implemented on a flat label, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	The circuit operates at a center frequency of at least 1 gigahertz and a bandwidth at least 20% of set frequency and a bandwidth at least 500 megahertz.
	Thank you.
	It's a United States patent 7504952.
	So that was the first thing that was interesting, but then he also has, and these are all links that I put in this article, which is in the show notes, that Hitachi, as far back as 2005, claimed to have developed an RFID chip.
	Unlike normal RFID chips can, quote, operate in solution, it can be used to detect and transmit SNP data from within a sealed container holding a DNA sample solution using a passive RF communication to an external reader-writer unit located outside the solution.
	Further anti-collision control was developed to enable data collection from multiple chips in the same solution at the same time.
	A solution would also be like, you know, your bloodstream.
	Are you sure this wasn't like Hitachi Solutions as in so far?
	They're not talking about liquids, but solving a problem solution?
	A sealed container with DNA solution?
	Come on, man.
	Give me a break.
	I can read.
	It's from Hitachi's own website.
	Well, that's pretty interesting.
	Uh, yeah.
	Yeah, I'm just saying.
	Call me Crackpot, if you will.
	But, of course, that's what you're all here for, isn't it?
	I'm going to show my support by donating to no agenda.
	Imagine all the people who could do that.
	Oh, yeah, that'd be fab.
	Yeah, on no agenda in the morning.
	All right, we got a few donors this show.
	Richard Plaza, we'll start off with him.
	He's in Bronx.
	The Bronx!
	The Bronx, right down the street from the Yankee Stadium, maybe.
	$133.33.
	He loves the show, thinks we're doing great work, and he needs to give some karma because he's trying to buy a house.
	Really?
	You need karma?
	Yeah.
	You've got karma.
	It's not that hard.
	I think there's some homes available here and there.
	Yeah, really.
	You don't need much karma.
	You just need to Google foreclosure.
	Yeah, we're happy to provide the karma, though.
	And there's plenty of deals, let me tell you.
	Jeffrey Barger in Lorton, Virginia.
	$123.
	Call me the bear.
	I'd like a birthday shout-out on Sunday to my wife, Bird.
	Yeah, we got it.
	Donation, sir.
	Birthday is backwards, $321.
	Thanks, guys.
	The bear.
	The bears.
	Chris a foolie.
	I guess it's Chris a foolie in Minder, Western Australia.
	I guess that's somewhere near Perth.
	For calling out all the fools that gave money thinking you would go to the Japanese earthquake victims.
	They're one of the richest countries in the world on quote $120.
	Flint Corporation, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, 11111.
	Cameron DeMay, Fort Myers, Florida, 11111.
	First time donor, second month listener.
	Not too shabby.
	I turned 31 this year, plus 80 the year I was born.
	That's the magical donation.
	Oh, you want to explain that, Adam?
	Why don't you explain it, John?
	I don't know how it works.
	Joe Cool Design, Princeton, Ontario, $111.11.
	Oleg Racatini, North York, Ontario, Canada, $111.
	It's amazing.
	I was skeptical, but did it anyway.
	I added the last two digits of my birthday year to the age I'm going to become this year, and I get $111.
	And thus, you have to donate.
	You don't have to, but you should donate it.
	$111 for the show because we need the donations to stay alive.
	James Briscoe, Bayshore, New York, 8287.
	Comrades in news.
	Hello again from Gitmo, L.I. producer, Long Island.
	After listening to the show, you butchered the pronunciation of...
	Yeah.
	Whatever.
	Copiag.
	Copiag.
	If you could read the following list aloud, I would make a smile of every producer-listener who would change the rage as they've been reminded of the spotty service provided by the Long Island Railroad for the price we pay.
	$300 for a monthly ticket.
	It's kind of high.
	Well, it depends on...
	I guess you go to New York from there, right?
	333 Peak Train to Babylon, stopping at Jamaica, Rockville Center, Baldwin, Freeport, Merrick, Belmore, Wontog, Seaford, Massapequa, Massapequa Park, Amityville, Copiag, Lyndhurst, Babylon...
	So I guess you could use that as your...
	As your ringtone?
	Cucamonga.
	You know, Anaheim Azusa and Cucamonga.
	Call back to the Jack Benny Show.
	Thanks again for the show.
	Happy stuff.
	Support you guys after seeing John C. Dvorak on Silicon Spin.
	Daniel Spencer, Bountiful, Utah, which I assume is Bountiful, I've been listening to the show for two years and haven't donated.
	I finally did.
	Zach called me out as a douchebag on show 282.
	I'm a college student at the University of Spying Blimps.
	I can only afford to donate 55-55.
	Dude, that's a lot for a college student.
	That's awesome.
	Thank you.
	We do appreciate it because people keep shooting down the blimps.
	My tuition keeps going up and up.
	That's what we were recommending.
	You're out in the middle of the desert someplace.
	You see one of these things?
	Shoot it.
	Shoot it down.
	Shoot it down.
	You don't know.
	Okay, Daniel Wheaton, Cozad, Nebraska.
	Dear John and Adam, a three-time anonymous supporter, but I donated more for some karma.
	Yeah, I think he's...
	Yes, Daniel Wheaton.
	You've got karma.
	I thought he was, wasn't he the kid that did his thesis or paper with our help?
	He could be.
	He's the senior at COZAD Nebraska.
	He's a student.
	He's competing in the state speech on the 24th and would like my persuasive and extemporaneous performances to be blessed.
	Well, okay.
	Let me give you a little hint, dude.
	Daniel, don't be saying things like Bilderberg Group, New World Order.
	If you want to have extemporaneous luck, stay away from all the no agenda stuff.
	Stop listening to the show for a couple of weeks.
	Seriously, you will not win.
	This is not good.
	However, if you do it, extra points from Adam and John.
	Yeah.
	And then if you do it and give them the finger and then call the judges elitist pricks, if you don't mind.
	Yeah, and at the end just go, Long Dong Silver!
	Splash from Lakewood, California, $55.10.
	Today's show was a total laugh riot.
	Thursday show, I mean.
	I haven't laughed so hard since the lengthy Vivek Kundra analysis.
	We have to do that again, huh?
	I've been listening since show number one, back when I was employed by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Japan and partaking liberally in high...
	Price transgendered hookers.
	Hey!
	Now, there's a gig for me.
	Geez.
	I was due to start working a new job in Japan this April, but recent events have tossed that opportunity in the can.
	Wait a minute.
	Wait a minute.
	Do we have someone here saying that he worked for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and ergo, part of his job description was hanging out with transgendered hookers?
	Is that what I'm reading here?
	Yes.
	That's kind of what it says.
	This guy's now, I call him an associate producer.
	Associate executive producer, right now.
	That's part of the job of an associate executive producer, is to get the talent laid.
	We've got to get some information from him first.
	We need more info on that.
	This is Genadry.
	Genadry, I'm guessing.
	No, there's no R in there.
	There's no R in there.
	It's just Genedi.
	Yeah, there's an R in there.
	Genadry.
	No, there's no...
	It's an I. Oh, that's not just an I. It's an I. Put your glasses on, old man.
	Okay, well, you pronounce it.
	Jenaday.
	Whatever.
	Shafranovic.
	Franovic.
	It's got to be Fron, not Fran.
	Man, it could be Shafranovic.
	She's Jenny from the block.
	She's from Brooklyn.
	A Brooklyn 5432 hoping to be able to generate more in the future and requesting a de-douching.
	Oops, that was for me.
	Sorry.
	You've been de-douched.
	I hope it's a she.
	Is it a she or a he?
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	Maybe it's Gene.
	I don't think it's probably a guy.
	Gene.
	Gene from Brooklyn.
	To plug my finance site, frano.carelessmusings.com.
	Snappy.
	I hope you guys keep up the good work, but stay away from the heavy conspiracy theories.
	Oh.
	It's what this show's about.
	Really?
	What are you here for?
	Dean Dvorak, back from Strongsville, Ohio, 5315.
	Bradley Serbu, Naples, Florida, $50.
	David Simpson, Milton Keyes, Bucks.
	UK, $50.
	George Vanderhorst.
	Shows up twice.
	Shows up twice for $50 apiece.
	We'll have to see why.
	And our friend James at FreeHallowBooks.com sold two books after they mentioned the last show.
	People should be buying these books.
	Go to FreeHallowBooks.com.
	Everyone should have one of these in their bookshelf.
	Yeah, because you too can get arrested for being a terrorist now.
	Just put it in your bookshelf and stick a bomb in it.
	An IED, John.
	Bomb is such an old-fashioned word.
	I'm old-fashioned.
	It's an IED. Molotov cocktails.
	Put a Molotov cocktail in there.
	Anyway, that's our producers for today's show.
	I want to thank all of them and the people that gave even...
	That gave us different subscriptions and other levels.
	We want to thank them all and hope that they continue their support at Dvorak.org slash NA, ChannelDvorak.com slash NA, NoAgendaShow.com, or NoAgendaNation.com slash NA, or donate.
	Dvorak.org slash NA. So it looks like we only have one today, but that will certainly do it.
	Jeffrey the Bear Bard says happy birthday to his wife, Bird!
	And she'll be celebrating her birthday tomorrow on a lovely Monday.
	Happy birthday from John Adam, all your buddies here at the No Agenda Show.
	It's your birthday, yeah!
	The bird's the word.
	The bird is indeed the word.
	Or the word is legs, go home, spread the word, and make babies.
	All right, John, so could you please...
	Here it comes.
	Okay.
	I see it.
	Ow!
	Ow!
	John!
	What are you doing?
	Sorry.
	It's not time yet.
	Larry Corpy!
	Please step forward as...
	Now, we're sure...
	Larry's a she?
	Laurie.
	Laurie.
	It says Larry, but I'll say Laurie.
	It's L-A-R-I. And John...
	John Juan Funderis.
	Both of you, please step forward.
	Your donations have put you up to the giving levels appropriate to become a black dame and a knight of the No Agenda Roundtable.
	We pronounce you Sir Young and Dame Laurie.
	Enjoy everything over here at the Don't Ask, Don't Tell Roundtable, the knights of the No Agenda Roundtable.
	And we appreciate that.
	And of course, rings are forthcoming.
	They have been ordered.
	So you, of course, will be receiving our beautiful No Agenda knight and dame rings when they're in.
	We saved our money for the backlog of all of the knights and dames.
	And you okay?
	What did you just do?
	I just put the British pound on the table.
	Stop doing that.
	I think it's heavy.
	And again, we remind you that this program is only running because of the giving levels, the way you support us.
	And I think if you look at what we do, I mean, please.
	Go and look up, the links are in the show notes, which are there also every single show, noagendashow.com.
	We've got noagendanewsnetwork.com.
	Please go look at the resolutions 1970-1973 and read them.
	And tell me if you wouldn't rather pay someone 50 bucks to read them for you and explain it to you.
	With some humor.
	Yeah, you don't want to be doing what we do.
	No.
	But we can only do it because of your donations.
	And it helps wake up the world.
	It helps...
	It's good.
	It's good for the earth.
	Just like Justin Bieber.
	We're here to save the earth.
	If only we could get the Biebs on the show.
	Now that would bring in some dough.
	Yeah, that's true.
	So I got a...
	I got a tweet...
	It was an email.
	One of our producers.
	He said, have you seen this documentary?
	And this documentary is called Feathered Cocaine.
	Have you heard of this documentary, John?
	Yeah, I got the same note.
	So, what did you do?
	You just hit delete?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	I figured you'd be happy if any of you were plugged.
	So, I immediately...
	It's not out yet on DVD. It did win a number of awards at film festivals.
	But I saw a trailer on YouTube.
	I'm like, what?
	This is nuts.
	So, it's about Falcons.
	Yeah.
	Now, I've never really paid much attention to falcons or falconry.
	Have you ever really paid any attention to that?
	A little bit, yeah.
	I like it.
	Well, they're beautiful birds.
	They're just majestic and beautiful to look at, but did you know that some of these birds sell for a million dollars?
	I can believe it.
	Really?
	A lot of prints, you know, these Arab royal family people are really into these things, and they're the ones who trade them for the millions.
	Exactly.
	Exactly.
	And you know who's really crazy about all this stuff?
	About these Falcons?
	Obama?
	Close.
	Try another one.
	Cheney?
	No.
	No, closer to Obama.
	Osama bin Laden.
	Wow!
	That's a good one.
	So this American guy, who wears a turban, who actually started the entire trade in falcons, he grew up and he started training falcons for these shanks and princes and royal family, and they're just nuts about them.
	If you look at it, falcons go all the way back, and every knight had a falcon.
	I mean, I've got to get me a falcon, by the way.
	These are beautiful birds.
	They look so smart, and I love birds.
	So this guy has a little bit of information.
	Essentially, for five years he's been trying to tell the American officials that he not only knows where Bin Laden is, but he knows where he's hunting with his falcon as we speak.
	The falcons also happen to have GPS receivers, so you can triangulate them.
	But let's not take my word for it.
	Let's listen to a piece from this story.
	From this documentary, which is just astounding.
	And there's some former state officials in this piece as well.
	We're a wildlife conservation group.
	My job is to save falcons from smugglers.
	Oh yeah, so by the way, after he started this trade, essentially, he got freaked out because now all these guys, they'll buy a falcon for $30,000 and then the falcon dies.
	Excuse me.
	Screw it.
	Give me another one.
	And he's like, well, these guys are no good.
	They don't care about the Falcons.
	They only keep them for a month.
	They die.
	They don't really love the birds the way he does.
	So now he's trying to overturn the illegal trade, and that's how he gets into this.
	And to stop genetic pollution.
	And I never dreamed that this was also my responsibility, what we've been dealing with.
	In order to protect Falcons in Central Asia, I have to associate with some very diverse characters.
	And one of my team members, who is codenamed T2, was running a rat line from a border state through Iran up to Turkmenistan and Russia.
	T2 is a smuggler.
	He doesn't smuggle wildlife, but he knows how the smuggling rat lines work all through Central Asia.
	And he encountered, T2 encountered Bin Laden when Bin Laden was falconry hunting in Baluchistan.
	Six meetings happened at that same time.
	The Bush administration was telling the world that Bin Laden was living in a cave in Waziristan.
	And as a result of the administration's disclosures, billions of dollars were allocated, territorial incursions were forced onto Pakistan while their civilians were bombed.
	All in the hunt of al-Qaeda's leaders, who are today living in Iran.
	The fact is, Bin Laden doesn't live in Waziristan.
	He doesn't have a home there.
	He doesn't have a post office box there.
	He is a guest of the Iranian government.
	When Alan and his group first approached me, I was really intrigued by the idea that maybe we could do a good job and help the US government locate Osama Bin Laden.
	I think the most intriguing thing about The information that Alan's source provided was the ability to electronically triangulate Osama bin Laden's location.
	Each of Osama bin Laden's falcons was equipped with a little backpack that had a radio transmitter.
	They broadcast on a unique frequency so that Osama bin Laden could always track his birds down and retrieve them.
	Well, these unique frequencies had a range of some 10 miles in cluttered area and over 100 miles in line of sight.
	So my thought was it should have been a very simple thing to establish a listening post outside the Iranian border but capable of sweeping this area, looking for those frequencies during the falcon hunting season.
	So, this documentary...
	By the way, listening to this with the dirge music and all, I think this is bull crap, but go on.
	You really think so?
	Because I wasn't sure.
	It's got the Iranian connection.
	Let's blame Iran for this and that.
	What they're saying is that he's been in Iran all this time.
	Of course, we know that no one really wants to get Osama bin Laden because he's part of the bin Laden clan and they're all in the same bed together.
	They don't actually want to get him if he's still alive.
	So the whole point is that no one wanted to get him at all, no matter where he is.
	But I thought it was kind of interesting that these Falcons had GPS transmitters.
	And the guy goes into this whole other thing about that he contacted Rewards for Justice.
	Remember that?
	They had like $50 million.
	At first it was $25 million to capture bin Laden, and then it was $50 million.
	And he says he contacted them, but they never called back.
	He said, he's here.
	He's right here.
	I got him in the camp.
	He's meeting, buying Falcons.
	Well, that part's interesting.
	That's probably true.
	Yeah, but it's just him saying it, so who knows?
	I know, but it makes sense.
	Come on, somebody would have turned that guy in by now for $50 million.
	Yeah, but they just never called him back.
	Yeah, it's probably bogus.
	On a smaller scale, though, I guess the regulations now go into effect that we're going to have to pay $5 at an ATM for using your debit card to get cash.
	Yeah, scam.
	Luckily, with the Mechanics Bank, they give you your $5 back.
	You know, that's only if you have a minimum of $1,000 in your account.
	Did you know that?
	I usually hate Bill.
	No.
	Then you might be seeing some charges pretty soon.
	Well, we don't get more donations.
	Yeah.
	No, but this is a regulation they're putting in place.
	What do you mean a regulation?
	Yeah.
	What kind of a scam?
	Hold on a second.
	It's going to be a law.
	Stop.
	They put these machines in so they could fire tellers left and right and save the bank money and make it more convenient for both the bank and the users.
	They should be paying us to use the machines.
	Oh, I know, but they've been making this a federal mandate.
	What kind of a scam?
	Who would push something like this through?
	Gee.
	Who's behind that bill?
	Gee.
	I don't know.
	I'm too tired to go look.
	All the same, the usual characters.
	It's not quite as bad as...
	Well, it probably is.
	It's probably Timmy Geithner who's a part of it.
	Did you hear about...
	Remember Barney Frank and Christopher Dodd?
	And they got together and said, We're going to put in the strictest regulations ever on all the banks.
	We're going to take away...
	We have to hurt Wall Street so they could never again, never again.
	Remember that?
	Yeah, what a crock.
	It was just like that, right?
	And this was mainly for creating transparency in derivatives, which of course is, what is that?
	What did President Obama say?
	Like $600 trillion ticking time bomb?
	It's some ridiculous number.
	Yeah, because if that comes unwound, then everything's screwed.
	So Timmy Geithner says, I'm going to give a waiver for derivatives on cash.
	No, don't worry about it.
	It's all cool.
	I mean, I don't know exactly how to explain how horrible that is, what he's doing, but it is.
	You have these waivers.
	Everyone has a waiver for everything.
	General Electric has a waiver.
	They don't have to, you know, force their people to buy health care.
	Everyone's got like a thousand waivers for everything.
	All the insiders, all the companies on the inside who suck up to the administration, they get waivers.
	I need a waiver on my taxes.
	If these laws are so good, you wouldn't be wanting a waiver.
	Of course not.
	I want a waiver on my taxes.
	I don't want to go to killing people in Libya.
	Is that okay?
	I would so love to just stop paying just to revolt, but I know I'll go to jail.
	Those guys have guns.
	IRS. You would.
	They're waiting for you.
	They've shown up before with guns.
	I've talked about that many times on the show.
	So, I've got two more things that I wanted to address.
	One, there's a short clip I have, which is kind of interesting.
	It's that same woman who I've been deconstructing her little talk at the Harvard Club, Kay Heimowitz, who wrote the book about the emasculation of the American male.
	Yeah.
	Oh, right.
	Yeah.
	So they brought up this little thing on, this is just a clip on how the history books, and of course everyone who's been a homeschooler or follows the education system knows that there's just a bunch of propaganda that goes out now to the schools and is probably to be avoided.
	But I thought that this little clip here on education is kind of interesting.
	No.
	Oh, this one.
	Okay.
	As for the progressive part, you know, I've seen girls who don't do very well in progressive education either.
	It is possibly true that boys need more structure than girls because they're simply more physically restless and because they also seem to like more competitive, game-like Thank you.
	So a boy knows that if he reads a certain number of books, he gets a certain kind of reward.
	They like that kind of thing a lot.
	So I suppose that insofar as progressive education really discourages any kind of competition, that's probably been somewhat to the disadvantage of boys.
	I'm just waiting for her to say boys need Ritalin.
	I mean, is that next?
	Well, apparently if they don't give the kids something to do, I mean, what she's really saying is that there's no, since you've got nothing to compete, you're just sitting there restless.
	They won't let you compete because there's no competition.
	We can't have competition in the schools.
	No, you can't win.
	You can't be a loser.
	My daughter came home from one of these schools once and said, oh, that competition is bad.
	You're trying to be too competitive.
	We don't want losers.
	So, actually, that's not the clip I wanted.
	I wanted the girl settled the West.
	Which is exactly the one that I had queued up based upon your intro.
	See?
	I know what I'm talking about.
	You're good.
	We'll play it.
	I'm fantastic.
	What's your take on progressive education?
	I mean, what I'm trying to say is, all these young adults, who should be adults, were children once, and start somewhere, and it grows up.
	With pseudo-self-esteem and so forth.
	So could you address that, please?
	Yeah.
	Well, I think Christina has written about primary education and the way that it is unfriendly to boys.
	For one thing, we've seen a big decline or a big transformation in the kinds of books that students, young students, are being asked to read.
	You won't find the adventure books anymore or not very much, the kinds of books that might have appealed to boys.
	I remember reviewing a book some time ago about the change in textbooks, history textbooks.
	And the writer there said that if you were to look at the updated textbooks, the post-feminist textbooks about the settling of the United States continent, it would sound like it was entirely colonized by women.
	Actually, girls.
	Girls and their parents.
	So there's no question that there's that going on.
	You know, there has been this feminization, I think, of earlier education.
	There you go.
	Just thought I'd harp on this topic.
	Where have I heard her before?
	Last week.
	Oh, that's right.
	It was her.
	It's just unbelievable.
	We are all so excited and so thankful for everybody.
	And like I say, thank you for everybody that has participated in this because it couldn't have been done without everybody.
	Great.
	You know, she does sound like that woman.
	I'm telling you.
	Somebody sent a nasty note in because we keep using that clip.
	Really?
	A nasty grin?
	Did you see the nasty grin?
	No, I didn't see the nasty grin.
	Oh, we got a nasty note.
	And what was it?
	One of our listeners goes, oh, you're mocking that poor woman who, you know, that was a clip from CNN or someplace where apparently they found a couple of snowmobilers that got lost in the woods, and so she got all...
	You know, enthusiastic about the fact that they were found.
	And so now we're mocking her for being happy about finding lost people.
	Well, there's a little difference between mocking her and just using it as a funny clip.
	Squirrel!
	You know what I'm saying?
	Yeah, no, hey, what are you talking about?
	I love that clip.
	It's your clip.
	Yeah.
	Hey, good news!
	No.
	Yeah, I'm glad we invested in Rapscan.
	Oh crap, we didn't invest in Rappiscan?
	Now what?
	Well, they've been appointed as the official security equipment and systems supplier for the London 2012 Olympic Games.
	Oh, should we mention something here while we're talking about this?
	In fact, I listened to the entire...
	This was a really dreadful one.
	Another thing we did for not enough money?
	I listened to the entire testimony about RapaScan and the...
	I listened to that.
	I couldn't get anything from it.
	Did you actually...
	I got...
	That's the one that we're at the very end.
	Oh, you did get something?
	Oh.
	I probably gave up at the end.
	Do you have it here?
	I got about two or three things from it.
	I got one guy...
	You're kidding me.
	It was like two hours and 20 minutes.
	It was the last 20 minutes that it was in there?
	Yeah.
	Ah, jeez.
	Sorry.
	But there was stuff in between.
	There actually were two of these events.
	I think the whole total was about four hours.
	And in one of the events where they had all these experts, they just asked them, point and blank, if your wife was pregnant, would you go into one of these machines?
	And everybody, no.
	I would never go.
	And another guy said, well, you know, nobody's ever gotten to test one of these machines in the private sector.
	And, of course, the bull crappers from the TSA said, well, Johns Hopkins, Johns Hopkins, they tested the theory.
	They never tested a machine.
	No one's ever tested these machines.
	And, by the way, did we not mention that, like, a million times on this show?
	Because we did the research?
	Did you see that anywhere else?
	Would any news organization look at the documents, read what Johns Hopkins said, or they just take what the TSA said and said, what Johns Hopkins said?
	It's right there on the website!
	It's a Johns Hopkins!
	I'm sorry, it just makes me angry.
	So I have two clips, both of them are very long.
	One of them, the great clip, which is that, by the way, this was not only at the end.
	The one I'm going to play, which is the great clip.
	But it's at the end, and the show ends with this clip.
	And it was like...
	I can play this one first.
	It's a little long, but it's necessary to listen to it.
	This is Congressman...
	Blast TSA? No, this is Congressman Blast.
	Yeah, that's the one.
	John Micah from Florida.
	And I'm going to tell you what this clip is about.
	This is why it's interesting that you mentioned that the London Olympics want to use these machines.
	The machines don't work.
	Okay, so that's why they got the contract?
	The machines don't work.
	And this is the clip that brings out the whole thing.
	Let me just recap.
	Let me just recap.
	So the American public paid government tax money to Rappiscan Systems International for machines to protect us from tears.
	And now the London 2012 Olympic Games have contracted the exact same company for machines that don't work.
	That's what you're saying.
	Yeah.
	This is not covered by the media at all.
	If you listen, and here's what it stems from.
	This is a top secret The General Accounting Office tested the machines and the results can't be disclosed because it's a top secret.
	But the Congressman makes it quite clear, and if you listen to this in its entirety, the machines don't work.
	At least to my staff.
	And that's possible, Congressman.
	I don't know that we came up in advance of...
	Deploying to everyone on the hill, I'm not sure.
	Are you aware of the latest testing of the equipment that GAO conducted in December?
	We're aware of GAO's testing as well as the other ongoing testing we have in airports every day.
	Do you feel that, again, what this reminds me of is the puffers.
	The fluffers?
	The puffer machines that they put in all the airports, and they didn't work either.
	I'm sorry, I thought I said fluffers.
	It caught my attention.
	Remember the puffers?
	Yes, I was making a joke.
	It was totally unacceptable.
	Would you concur with that evaluation?
	Can't hear it.
	I think we look at...
	Different types of testing, and we think the machines are very effective against the types of threats that we're looking at.
	We do daily testing in airports across the country.
	That's your self-testing.
	You have been briefed by GAO on their testing?
	Yes, I have.
	And you find that acceptable level of performance?
	I'd like to think that we could perform very well at 100%.
	Do you find the level of failure acceptable that GAO has reported now that you have the equipment in place?
	So the specific number, I think we...
	Well, first of all, we're not going to talk about numbers because it's classified, but the failure has been pronounced.
	Mr.
	Pistol talked to it.
	Mr.
	Pistol said that GAO was clever.
	Do you feel that the...
	Again, having reviewed this, is that failure rate acceptable?
	We spent...
	Well, it's going to spend a quarter of a billion dollars on deploying this equipment and staffing it, and I've had it tested, and to me it's not acceptable.
	So I would like to see us do better against GAO testing.
	I don't think that's representative of the effectiveness of the technology.
	If the American public, if we could reveal the failure rate, the American public would be outraged at that expenditure.
	But it seems that you have opted for sort of a...
	A popularity poll.
	You said that 80% of the people do not object to accept the use of that technology even though it doesn't work.
	So that's the basis on which we deploy expensive screening technology?
	No, Congressman, I think that's a partial basis, but I think the other extensive testing that we did in the labs, that we did in the field, and that we do in the airports every day...
	Well, the public may accept it, but I'm telling you, I will not.
	Thank you, and I yield back.
	Wow!
	Well, how come we can't...
	How come this is top secret?
	Because of the numbers!
	I understand, but this is the Obama administration.
	Isn't everything supposed to be transparent?
	No, they made it a secret because apparently these machines, as he said, just quote-unquote, do not work.
	We're spending all this money and putting people at risk with x-rays, and there was a lot of discussion about that, and there was a huge...
	In fact, half of the congressmen...
	A lot of them volunteered to come onto this panel so they could grill these guys, were pissed off about the way they were treated themselves, and then they're about the x-ray issue and the fact that they don't wear the little badges and all the rest of it was all brought out in this hearing.
	And then it finally finalizes with Micah coming out and saying the machines don't work.
	Where is the media?
	Yeah, but above all, we should, as citizens paying for it and being subjected to this, we should be allowed to see the report.
	We can't, because if we saw the report, then we'd realize what a scam this is.
	That's the reason it's classified, is not to give the terrorists any ideas.
	That's it, John.
	That's it.
	Clip of the show.
	Two in a row.
	Clip in the show.
	Good job.
	I knew you wouldn't be able to hold out on that hearing.
	How long did you have to sit through all that crap?
	Because I didn't make it.
	I didn't make it through.
	I feel bad now.
	I listened to the entire thing.
	In fact, I'm still deconstructing it.
	I'll probably pull a couple more clips out of it.
	But surely we can issue a FOIA request.
	It would probably take forever to get it because it's classified, it's current.
	They're not going to give you a classified document.
	The only thing I can find, I was just Googling it while I was listening to it.
	Apparently, just to add insult to injury, Rappiscan Systems is protesting the issuance of a purchase order to Science Applications International Corporation of San Diego for an RFQ for some other gamma ray vehicle cargo inspection system because it wasn't fair.
	It was an improper order, because these guys, of course, they got a no-bid contract.
	And they have the balls to go out and complain about the government trying to get other systems that maybe do work, even though I'm against those two.
	But it's unbelievable.
	I want to see this report.
	Let's call Micah's office.
	He knows the numbers.
	Will he go to jail if he tells us?
	Yeah.
	Really?
	But he made it clear, the machines don't work.
	Yeah.
	Hey, keeping him honest, Anderson Cooper here.
	The fluffer machine, which never worked for crap either.
	It felt good, the fluffer machine.
	Yeah, the fluffer machine was fun.
	Yeah, I like that.
	They should have kept that on.
	The fluffer machine.
	So, where's Anderson Cooper?
	Anderson Cooper.
	Keeping him honest here.
	Yeah, tell me about the report that is top secret.
	Where's Anderson?
	Where's Rachel Maddow?
	Where's anybody?
	There's not one media...
	Go Google it.
	Go onto the news site.
	You will not find one mention anywhere that these machines don't work.
	And this is the thing that bugs me the most, which I think is...
	It's so great because, you know, essentially you're supporting us for our time.
	That's really what it is.
	Because, you know, we don't have to go to journalism school.
	J-school.
	As they call it, J-school.
	Did you go to J-school?
	Yeah, I got a PhD in J-school.
	You don't have to go to J-school.
	All you have to do is actually download the documents and read them, as in the...
	The resolutions.
	Or you just go to the...
	You don't have to go to the hearing anymore.
	You just have to go to the hill.
	You have to go sit there and go from meeting to meeting.
	You can sit at home and watch c-span.org and you can watch it and it's right there.
	Yeah, the information is right there.
	You don't have to do anything.
	You just sit at home like we do.
	It just takes up all your time.
	It just takes a long time.
	It just takes up all your time.
	But that's all you have to do.
	And then you could be...
	But what are the people that get paid to do this?
	To do this by big corporations?
	Oh, I used the word big corporations.
	That's the problem.
	Oh, that could be it.
	That's the problem.
	We don't have a big corporation paying us.
	We have the public paying us to do this.
	That's why we do it.
	Otherwise, you'd never find this out.
	Nobody listening to this show would ever know that these machines don't work.
	So what is this other clip?
	Is it just as good?
	No, the other clip is more kind of interesting because apparently a lot of guys came in and started moaning and groaning at these guys about their experiences.
	And this guy, this is Issa.
	Daniel Issa, I think, is from California.
	It's kind of interesting.
	He comes in and he starts excoriating these guys for not following their own rules.
	And he demands that they put a sign up.
	Giving people their rights, listing their rights.
	The guy refuses to do it, and they get into an argument, and then the chairman head says, okay, okay, we'll just take that as a no.
	We've got to move on.
	You know what's interesting is that the big story was about the accounting errors of the radiation.
	Yeah, that was discussed to extreme.
	But that's the only story that was out there, and of course it was waffled away, like, oh yeah, we bungled the numbers.
	But this is, no wonder they don't use these things.
	They don't use them.
	They don't enforce them.
	Everywhere people tell me, like, yeah, they had one, but maybe one out of ten people were sent through.
	I think it's worse than it appears, John.
	I think not only do they fail, I think that they're killing people, and the TSA guys know it.
	The TSA guys must know something, because that's why they won't give them the badges.
	Play this little clip here, and it's kind of amusing.
	It's not as good as the other clip, but it's funny.
	To a private opening statement, you talked about...
	What people can have and not have and the consistency.
	I go through those checkpoints all over the country regularly.
	Yeah, I did hear this.
	What I don't see is I don't see anything that says, here is a traveler's right.
	You have a right to a private thing.
	You have a right, and I know as chairman I've gone over, but I know a lot of us have.
	I have seen repeatedly TSA individuals tell people who are traveling with another person that's being held for secondary, stand back, go over there.
	They are deliberately denying what you said was a right here today.
	And I hold you to post, the TSA, to post that I have a right to have my spouse, you have a right to have your child or whatever with you during any secondary and not be told they must go over there, stand over there.
	You could be arrested if you don't move away.
	The exact opposite has happened in the experience of thousands of travelers.
	Will you agree to post so travelers know that your TSA people are wrong if they try to say, stand back, you can't be there?
	Your description about being able to have a traveling companion or family member with you, particularly in the private screening area, is up on our TSA website.
	Website doesn't make it when your people are saying the opposite.
	We will need to move on here.
	Will you commit to make sure that it's available to the public at the point at which they may be being told that they cannot have that person with them?
	Part of the challenge that we have is that signage, we run into having too many signs out there, so having a posting at the checkpoint is difficult for us because we have requirements for so many signs.
	The chair will recognize that as a no.
	If you want to continue to add testimony, this is the problem with trying to fit this in.
	Thank you, Mr.
	Chairman.
	We're about to be called for votes.
	We have two other members.
	Right, let's move on because who gives a crap about your rights?
	Signage.
	We'll take that as a no.
	Yeah, we'll take that as a no.
	Will you put a sign up?
	No.
	Why don't you just say no instead of, well, it's on the website.
	We have a website, just like the opposition of Libya.
	They got a website.
	They're real.
	They got a website.
	All right, let's...
	I need to laugh.
	Hold on a second.
	I caught this the other day from...
	No, I didn't mean to do that.
	I caught this the other day from The Onion.
	It was so short and so funny, I had to play it.
	Well, we need to take a short break right now, but you can always stay connected to The Onion News Network online.
	Right now on our website, you can see the full text of the Labor Department's new jobs report that's revised the unemployment rate upwards to 72% after finding that millions of Americans were listing podcasting as a job.
	See you next time.
	Yes.
	Very funny.
	Alright, quick trip around Gitmo Nation.
	Anyway, just to wrap, I mean, it's almost pointless what I have to say after that GAO report that, of course, is top secret that you unveiled there for us, John.
	Excellent reporting by sitting on your ass.
	Great job.
	I was actually standing.
	Oh, okay.
	Anyway, furthermore, at the London 2012 Olympics, mobile phones will not be allowed.
	Picnics will not be allowed.
	What?
	Wait, wait, back, back, back, back, back, back.
	What do you mean mobile phones won't be allowed?
	If you have a landline with a really long cord, that's okay.
	Because you might be trying to set off a bomb.
	So, mobile phones.
	Under the powers granted by the government to the London 2012 organizers, people would not be permitted to take flasks, thermoses, and larger quantities of food with them to the Olympic venues.
	Please enjoy our McDonald's and Burger King and Kentucky Fried Chicken.
	These are included on a non-exhausted list of all banned and restricted items in terms and conditions of booking Olympic tickets that went on sale this week.
	All bags will be scanned by x-ray machines as part of securite.
	Phones are unwelcome as they may disturb the action, along with banners, horns, whistles, drums, rattles, and musical instruments.
	Shut up, slave!
	No vuvuzelas!
	What will we do?
	Liquids in containers bigger than 100 milliliters.
	What a 100 milliliter.
	A tenth of a...
	What?
	That's three ounces.
	That's a little bitty bottle.
	A tenth of a...
	Because they want you to buy Coca-Cola and eat McDonald's.
	This is why it is, but oh, it's for your security.
	Camera tripods.
	And this is the best.
	Flags of countries not involved in the games.
	Oh, brother.
	No.
	Oh wait, get better!
	The nerve of these people!
	Umbrellas!
	Forbidden!
	This is England people!
	Umbrellas!
	Because I'm sure they will sell you some on the premises.
	Because it can be used as a blunt instrument.
	Objects bearing trademarks or other kinds of promotional signs or messages, such as hats, t-shirts, bags, etc., So I can't carry an Yves Saint Laurent sweatshirt and wear it or anything that says Bugle Boss on the front?
	If they are an official sponsor of the Olympic Games, yes.
	But if they're not, you may not enter the premises.
	That's ridiculous.
	Who do these people think they are?
	Look, I've met people from the International Olympic Committee who they are, John.
	Douchebags.
	Elitist pricks.
	And this thing is so commercial.
	There is so much money made.
	Not just by them, but by the host countries and cities.
	Boycott the Olympics.
	Seriously.
	Boycott it.
	Just don't go.
	Nobody should go to these things and give these guys a nickel.
	Not go.
	100 milliliters.
	100 milliliters is a little bitty, bitty, bitty, little bitty thing.
	It's a tenth of a liter.
	It's three ounces, 3.3, I think.
	Unbelievable.
	Gitmo Nation Down Under.
	Now, this is great.
	I'm revising my list of places to go.
	So, the officials there in Queensland have been testing poop for drugs.
	They intend to use the method at large-scale music events.
	Well, they get like a ton of poop and they test it and they find someone to use drugs.
	Duh.
	Yeah.
	I'm telling you, it's like they will use this technique near nightclubs to find out if, you know, people...
	Who is it that just pooped, I think?
	So I guess the way...
	Let the poop and shoot number seven.
	Shoot number seven.
	I guess that it's going to be used like as a pre-crime thing.
	Like, um...
	Hello, sir.
	Are you the owner of this club?
	Why, yes, I am.
	Sir, we have evidence of excessive drug use going on here at your premises.
	How do you know?
	Yeah, we've been testing the poop that's coming out of your club.
	We're with the poop police.
	Yeah.
	Poop police.
	Poop police.
	I got a badge.
	says poop police.
	Hey, Mom, I got a great new job.
	I got a great new job.
	Oh honey, I'm so proud of you.
	My son, finally a government official.
	What are you?
	I'm with the poop police, mama.
	Oh my god.
	Hey, also, not on the news, 100 anti-war protesters, including the guy, who was the guy who leaked the Pentagon Papers, remember him?
	You remember him, right?
	Daniel Ellsberg.
	Yeah.
	Were arrested outside the White House on Saturday as they were demonstrating the 8th anniversary of the war in Iraq.
	Funny I didn't see that anywhere.
	Huh.
	Daniel Ellsberg was amongst the 110 protesters arrested.
	Arrested for protesting.
	Arrested, I tell you.
	What were they doing?
	Protesting.
	Yeah, you can't protest.
	No.
	No good.
	No protest for you.
	And I will say that I got a number of emails that you were wrong...
	About the five cases of bird flu in Japan, the CFR clip, apparently that was in the news.
	I mean, it wasn't really in the news because no one knew about it and it was very hard to find.
	But I guess this did indeed happen just before the tsunami, the fifth case of bird flu.
	How does that make me wrong?
	Well, it's like, you know, you played the clip of the CFR lady kind of like, hey, you know, like this is, you went off script, like this is new information, it's still coming, but actually...
	Oh, it was known information.
	It was known information.
	End of January.
	I'll buy that.
	Yeah, that's okay.
	Well, we got a, when we're wrong, we're wrong.
	You know, we weren't wrong.
	No.
	Yeah, we were.
	No, we weren't.
	We were right, but we didn't have the backstory.
	Good.
	There you go.
	Okay.
	It's alright.
	We still are proud to be members of the Poop Police.
	How about the number?
	Any threes?
	Any 33s going on?
	No, no, no, no.
	No three.
	I got no magic numbers at all.
	Nothing.
	Interesting.
	They may have switched numbers.
	I did see something funny that would just...
	Something you could bring up with Horowitz on the show this week.
	Apparently, I don't know if you saw this, some guy tracked the performance of Berkshire Hathaway stock.
	Berkshire Hathaway is the Warren Buffett's company.
	Apparently, every single time Anne Hathaway, the actress, is in the news, his stock goes up.
	And he says he thinks that because there's so much computer trading going on that these computers scan, they see Hathaway, they see positive words or something, and therefore the Berkshire Hathaway stock goes up.
	I think it's an interesting analysis, and we should keep our eye on it.
	If she is caught with the porn tape or something, I think we go short on Buffett stuff.
	Or long.
	As it were.
	I'm not sure.
	Anyway.
	We should have ended on Poop Police.
	That was better.
	Eh, who knows.
	Alright everybody, so on Thursday, we'll see if we're into Sudan yet.
	We'll see if George Clooney is doing his job.
	Do we have a celebrity for Libya yet?
	We should have one.
	I don't understand why we don't.
	Ah, yeah, we should.
	Hmm.
	I'm going to start looking into it.
	I think they gave this one to the French or something.
	It was a gimme.
	Eh, Nicola, I'm going shopping with your wife.
	Why don't you go ahead and you take Libya?
	Because they called you out as a douchebag.
	A douchebag that they paid for your presidential election.
	So you must go bomb them.
	Bomb them?
	Bomb them.
	Hey everybody, coming to you from Gitmo Nation West, the People's Republic of Southern California.
	Please remember to support this program.
	We do a lot of work for you.
	We hope you like the value that we're providing.
	And my name's Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley, and you can go to Dvorak.org slash NA and help us out.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	We will talk to you again on Thursday with lots more information as we spend our lives seeking it out for you, right here on No Agenda.

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