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June 10, 2010 - No Agenda

02:00:56

207: What do you call Soy milk?

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	That is really a great job!
	Some really good information there, baby!
	It's unbelievable.
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	It's June 10th, 2010.
	Time for your Gitmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 207.
	This is No Agenda.
	Fighting the stomach cramps and the evil elites and coming to you from the Hilltop Watchtower Crackpot Command Center in Gitmo Nation West in the People's Republic of Southern California.
	In the morning, I'm Adam Curry.
	And from northern Silicon Valley where the sun's come out again, it's going to be a little chilly with a slight breeze.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	It's Crackpot and Buzzkill.
	In the morning.
	In the morning to you.
	And in the morning to everyone listening.
	And in the morning to all the human resources around the world.
	I just realized what that really means.
	What?
	Human resources?
	Yeah, that's why they...
	And now all of a sudden I understand why you're a human resource in a company.
	Isn't that pathetic?
	It's abhorrent, actually, if you think about it.
	Everyone goes along with the human resources.
	There's another human resource.
	Let's dig a hole.
	Because we have human resource going on at Mevio.
	We're like 37 people.
	We have an HR department.
	And I was thinking, isn't that just a horrible word?
	You're just an eater.
	That's all you are.
	You do nothing but eat.
	But you're a resource, you human.
	When did that creep into the vocabulary?
	Well, it used to be personnel manager.
	Right, that's a little more friendly, but this human resource is like...
	You know, I'd like to probably track it myself because it seems to me...
	I agree with you.
	I've always thought it was a bad term, but...
	It's nasty.
	It's really human unfriendly.
	It's demeaning.
	Yes, it's human unfriendly.
	And no one thinks about it.
	Except us, I guess.
	So, let me just...
	So, I'm in a foul mood for a number of reasons.
	One, I have an upset stomach, but I think I've taken the disc jockey cure for upset stomach.
	Two shots of Imodium.
	Are you still with me?
	Yeah, well, that stops everything.
	How about some bicarb, you know?
	Yeah, look, I just needed a quick fix so I'm not running around throughout the whole show.
	But here's the thing.
	I came home after...
	I've been away for three days.
	I come home.
	I have a letter from the Social Security Administration Office.
	And I've never received one of...
	Well, I know I've never received one of these.
	You have no social security number.
	No, I have a social security number.
	You know what they say?
	Congratulations!
	You won!
	Congratulations!
	You have earned enough credits to qualify for benefits.
	Now I know I'm old.
	Congratulations!
	I've never received one of these letters.
	So, well, maybe you...
	What kind of benefits are they talking about?
	Well, so it has a whole list here of how much social security earnings...
	Oh, they're trying to get you to retire early.
	No!
	No, quite the contrary.
	Listen to this.
	So in 1987, that's when they, I guess they started paying social security taxes, up to 2009.
	I total the month now.
	Of course, there's a gap 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, because I wasn't living in the country not paying.
	Social Security taxes.
	So it's well over a million dollars that I've paid in Social Security taxes.
	Really?
	Yes.
	Well, yeah.
	I'm just looking at the numbers.
	So if I continue at the current rate, at age 67, I will be eligible for $2,474 a month.
	So how long will it take you to get your million back?
	Well, I'll be $350.
	This is what I mean.
	That sounds like a scam.
	But check this out.
	So Mickey's like, let me see that.
	She says, hey, if you die, family and spouse can get up to $4,200 a month.
	I'm literally worth more dead than alive at this moment.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	My child can get $1,800, so she'd just move in with Mickey.
	And then my spouse, now she's like, let's get married, let's get married.
	And my spouse can make like $2,400.
	It'd be like, I'm worth, I'm literally worth more dead than alive.
	But on this, on this, on this document, John, this is what the crazy thing.
	So, it's like, what Social Security means to you, congratulations, you're now eligible, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	This is the front page of this little brochure about Social Security's future.
	Social Security is a compact between generations.
	Have you ever heard of that?
	A compact?
	No, no, no.
	This is all new.
	This is a good letter you've got.
	Yeah.
	What does this mean?
	Social Security is a compact between generations.
	Not a contract, but a compact between generations.
	Anyway, since 1935, America has kept the promise of security for its workers and their families.
	Now, however, the social security system is facing serious financial problems, and action is needed soon to make sure the system will be sound when today's younger workers are ready for retirement.
	This is the letter they're sending me where they're telling me that basically I'm not going to have any social security.
	In 2016...
	It's like five and a half years from now.
	We will begin paying more in benefits than we collect in taxes.
	Without changes by 2037...
	This is a propaganda letter.
	It gets worse.
	The Social Security...
	Wait a minute, hold on a second.
	You already gave them a million dollars and they're making this complaint.
	You know, that's because they've been robbing the system.
	Yeah.
	It's like my million bucks is going to be gone.
	Here, without changes, by 2037, the Social Security Trust Fund will be exhausted.
	And there will be enough money...
	Oh, this is bogus.
	There's no exhaustion.
	There's nothing in it.
	Well, of course.
	And there will be enough money to pay only about 76 cents for each dollar of the scheduled benefits.
	But then it's like, we need to resolve these issues soon to make sure Social Security continues to provide a foundation of protection for future generations.
	Visit socialsecurity.gov on the internet when you're ready to apply for benefits.
	Use our improved online application.
	It's so easy!
	Well, thank you!
	And that's it.
	And then it's like, hey, thanks for the million bucks.
	You're worth more dead than you are alive.
	Yay!
	I didn't realize about that dead part.
	Yeah, and now this has put me in a pretty bad mood, if you don't mind.
	Well, besides the stomach ache.
	Yeah, but maybe this gave me a stomach ache.
	It's just like, so they took a million bucks, they stole it, and I'm going to get two, so it would be, to get it back, it would be 500 months, right?
	Seems unlikely you're going to get it back.
	Unless you're dead, you might as well speed up the process.
	What a scam.
	What a total, utter scam.
	Well, it wasn't meant to be a scam.
	It's just turned into one because they've been stealing from the fund.
	Yeah, and they pretend like there's any actual money in there, which I guess there's just not, right?
	No, it's a bookkeeper's game.
	They're some smart, crooked bookkeeper.
	Not that we don't have a few in this country.
	Came along and, you know, cooked the books.
	And now they're sending out these excuse letters because apparently it's going to bite him in the butt pretty soon.
	Mickey, what are you doing with that gun?
	Go away.
	Clunk.
	And I'll take over the show now.
	Oh yeah.
	See, that's the problem.
	That's the problem.
	Yeah, the show would suck with one person.
	Yeah, the show is no good without you and the show is no good without me.
	Meanwhile, let's get to our executive producer.
	We only have one.
	Wait, wait.
	Just to add insult to injury.
	Yeah, just to further depression, we got one.
	But at least he's a good local boy.
	He's up in Washington.
	Of course, I won't pronounce his name, but Raj, we'll call him.
	Raj Dosanja, who is from Giga Harbor, Washington.
	He has a...
	He mentions that he's an Indian.
	He, his son, last week his son called him out, called him a douchebag for not donating.
	Oh wait, this is his son who says, I haven't donated because A, I'm 15 and B, I'm Indian?
	Yeah.
	And so the guy says, I don't want to perpetuate that Indians are chief.
	Now, let's stop here for a second.
	Okay.
	We're not talking about Indians that live in the United States and gig a harbor and have an ongoing business.
	We're talking about Indians in India.
	So this doesn't prove anything except that he has donated $3.333, which is a good number, and signed up for the $5 monthly subscription.
	And he wants to give the executive producer credit to his son, Rajdeep.
	Okay.
	Dosanja.
	Dosanja.
	The first Indian executive producer of No Agenda.
	Oh, is it not technically?
	I don't think it's technically true.
	You can put it on his college application as an extracurricular activity.
	This is true.
	Yes, absolutely.
	This is no joke.
	And by the way, he also says he is a OD in Silverdale.
	So if you go to the Silverdale Costco, and I'm sure there's more than a few listeners in that area, that's the only Costco in the Silverdale area.
	He's an optometrist, an eye doctor.
	Eye glasses guy.
	Eye glasses guy.
	If you say, in the morning, you'll get a 15% discount of Sam fee.
	Everybody wins!
	This is great!
	So the Costco in Silverdale, you guys all know where that is, who's around the area.
	Say hi to Raj while you're at it.
	So first let me, I think we also need to de-douche Raj because...
	You've been de-douched.
	I think he deserves that.
	And so Rajdeep will become the executive producer.
	For what amount has this taken place, John?
	$333.33.
	Wow, so that means we might potentially have the youngest knight soon if he can coerce us.
	This old man wants to keep coughing up the money for me.
	Why not?
	The kid is only 15.
	Yeah, why not?
	I don't know.
	Great education for the kid.
	I think it's fantastic.
	Yeah, he could be a knight and you put that on his resume for Harvard and he's in.
	Hell yeah.
	It's like skull and bones, only a little different.
	I think Harvard, Yale, it's like a no-brainer.
	So Raj, thank you very much.
	And of course, Raj Deep, thank you for guilting your dad into becoming the executive producer of No Agenda episode 207.
	Everybody else out there, you know what you got to do.
	Help us propagate the formula, please.
	Our formula is this.
	We go out, we hit people in the mouth.
	And there's more where that came from.
	We might as well all sing along with the mantra.
	Shut up, sleep.
	So this is a legitimate credit, and we recommend people, anyone who gives over $200 becomes one of the either associate or executive producer of the show, and you can just go to noagendashow.com and click on the box there at and you can just go to noagendashow.com and click on the box there and just that amount comes up in the database.
	Boom.
	You're in.
	Do it.
	Yes, please.
	And by the way, we need more $5 a month subscribers.
	We're getting to the point we're about halfway to our goal.
	Almost.
	So, um...
	I'm, uh...
	God, you know, you go three days in San Francisco and just get behind, you know?
	This is why I don't like being in the office.
	Like, oh, sit in this meeting.
	Let's wait a minute.
	I'm going to reveal some hidden truth here on this complaining.
	You avoided all the meetings.
	This is why I'm so pissed off, because after Cranky Geeks yesterday...
	An excellent show, I might add, crankygeeks.com.
	Yes, and of course I tried to avoid all the meetings.
	I avoided the Tuesday meeting by going on Buzz Out Loud, which was great.
	But then I'm sitting down.
	I'm actually working with my team there with Nick Mack.
	And then there's like two meetings back-to-back that I get dragged into.
	Three hours in total.
	And the second one, I swear to God, I was passing out.
	You know that feeling where you're just like...
	It's warm and your eyes are going like...
	And I'm going to fall down.
	Luckily, there was a bottle of water and I drank that.
	And it kind of like...
	I thought, you know what you should do to make the point?
	is dump it on your head.
	So a bit of a... .
	Fabulous Mimi news, not as in Mimi, your wife Mimi, but as in a meme coming out of Gitmo Nation East, which is a throwback to the Shantix cabal that we have discussed on this program.
	Shantix is the drug that is indeed quite effective at helping you stop smoking.
	Unfortunately, you tend to kill yourself and others around you in the process.
	Well, you stop smoking, though.
	And it is marketed as Shampix with a P in Gitmo Nation East.
	So here's the headline.
	Oh, what's the name?
	I'm sorry.
	Shampix.
	Huh, interesting.
	So they changed the P to a T. It's probably a licensing thing or something.
	I don't know.
	I'm sure.
	So the headline is great, but then the story is even better.
	He gave me a waterboarding, is the headline.
	Ex-girlfriend hits out as actress cleared of assault after blaming attack on anti-smoking drug.
	A fantastic story of Nicholas Williams, who is an actor on, I think it's a British TV series Casualty.
	So he was trying to kick the smoking habit, and he was taking Shampix.
	And apparently, we have lots of reports of people going nuts, like not remembering where they were, what they were doing, what they ate, who they slept with.
	So the guy comes home, and he's like freaking out, and she says something, and then he throws her out.
	She was in the shower.
	He throws her out on the street naked with a towel for like 15 minutes.
	Then he lets her back in because, you know, it's the middle of the night.
	And then he jams the shower head in her face.
	God!
	The shower head in her mouth!
	Maybe this drug brings out.
	It's a little different than the James Cagney shoving the grapefruit in the girl's face.
	I mean, the shower head, man.
	This is hardcore.
	I guess maybe the shower head came first and then he threw her out into the street.
	So anyway, the judge says, well, you know...
	Clearly this is because you mix champix with alcohol.
	This is like a triple whammy, this.
	We've got waterboarding, we've got demon drink alcohol, and then the guy gets a heart attack in court.
	Oh, God, really?
	And of course, nowhere is there any mention in the story of, hmm, maybe we should evaluate this champix.
	This might not be a good thing to take.
	Ugh...
	It's just crazy.
	It's absolutely crazy.
	And while we're kind of on the health tip, I didn't want to wait until the donations to do this.
	Hey Adam and John, in the morning to you.
	I was wondering if you could give my girlfriend and future No Agenda dame Rachel a shout out on an upcoming show.
	She had platelet complications from lupus on Friday.
	What's that, John?
	Platelet complications?
	I don't know.
	It's got something to do with the blood.
	Lupus is the weirdest, crappiest thing you can imagine getting.
	Yeah.
	It's like natural champics, right?
	It can make you crazy, can't it?
	No, it's the worst thing.
	I mean, it's so bad that...
	It feels like you're itching on the inside?
	I don't know.
	I mean, all I know is that even if you bring the topic up to a lot of people, they get irked, as you even mentioned it.
	Well, anyway, she had platelet complications from lupus on Friday, had two seizures in the waiting room of the ER. The ER doctor told me on Friday she probably wasn't going to make it.
	But they just released her from the ICU intensive care unit to a regular room this morning.
	Things are looking good right now.
	One of the first things she asked when she woke up for the first time on Saturday was if the Thursday show was any good and if any babies had been eaten by a fox.
	Well, she keeps up.
	I love her.
	Future Dame Rachel, we're happy to hear you're doing better.
	Yes, you did well.
	Although that ailment is terrible.
	Yeah, and it's like incurable, right?
	I don't know.
	It's just like, I don't know.
	It's just bad.
	But, you know, I think, I don't know.
	Hopefully she'll be okay.
	I think we've established you don't know.
	I don't know anything.
	All right, so luckily you send in a whole bunch of clips, so I'm expecting genius and greatness from you today.
	There's not going to be that much genius.
	You do have a couple of interesting things that you've been holding out on about the oil spill.
	But let me talk about the elections.
	You know, there was a couple of interesting things.
	One, it was supposed to be the time...
	What elections?
	There was a primary yesterday.
	Oh, I thought you were going to talk about Gitmo Nation Lowlands elections.
	Actually, the primary was on Tuesday, what am I thinking?
	What about the Gitmo Nation Lowlands elections?
	Well, they were yesterday.
	I don't know.
	See, this is another one of these things that perturbs me.
	I do know that Geert Wilders was shot out of the gate to like 25 or 26 percent of the vote.
	And when I went to bed last night, I think it was still neck and neck between the right-wing party and the left-wing labor party, and they were already talking.
	This is what I heard.
	I haven't kept up with the news, and I feel stupid for it.
	They were talking about a pink-plus government, or a purple-plus, I should say, which would mean the combination of right-wing red...
	Right-wing orange and left-wing red would give you purple, and they would cut Wilders out altogether and make him the opposition.
	Which is weird, because I don't see how the right-wing and the left-wing can have a successful government together.
	It's fucked.
	Apparently they just wanted to marginalize Wilders.
	That's what it appears.
	So, I don't know.
	I literally was just so ill this morning, I didn't have time, you know, outside of all the other stories I have to look into.
	Were you puking?
	No.
	I haven't thrown up in 30 years.
	Well, you haven't listened to this show.
	See, I need an in the morning there.
	You deserve an in the morning there.
	Absolutely.
	Okay, so we had our election.
	So I'm going to make an out-and-out prediction here.
	I could be wrong, of course.
	But this prediction, I was watching Carly Fiorina and her acceptance speech because she beat the guy she was running against.
	And she is interesting because...
	You know, she's a breast cancer survivor.
	She's a woman.
	She has all these, you know, she's a kind of, I think, a failed CEO at HP. She was running for governor?
	Is this what this is?
	No, no, no, senator.
	Oh, senator, right.
	Peg Whitman.
	It's a different style.
	Those two women are slightly different.
	I doubt if they get along again.
	So wait a minute.
	Let me just get this straight.
	So this is for the senatorship of California.
	This is the Senate, the U.S. Senate.
	A seat that is now owned by Barbara Boxer.
	Right.
	And you're going to put Carly next to Barbara and they're going to argue with each other.
	And Carly looks fresh and vibrant and sharp and smarter.
	She's definitely smarter.
	Definitely smarter.
	And Barbara Boxer, who just looks like an old slut.
	Hey now!
	So you got the two.
	There's another in the morning you missed.
	Anyways, they got the two of them side by side.
	So I'm watching this now.
	I've never been a fan of Carly Fiorina's when she was...
	Let me just understand.
	It's going to be these two against each other in the final senatorial election?
	Yes, in November.
	Okay, thank you.
	And of course, our concentration for November is to get the marijuana law passed, but there's all kinds of weird stuff going around that.
	So these two are going to go off against each other.
	So I've got four clips of Fiorina.
	And they're kind of interesting because she apparently...
	I mean, I thought her acceptance speech for winning the primary was one of the best I've ever heard.
	A, it was loaded with little memes and all kinds of cute niceties.
	And then, of course, she finishes off with something which I consider to be total bull crap.
	And she would be the Democratic candidate.
	No, she's the Republican.
	Pick up the paper.
	No, Barbara Boxer is in there now.
	You need to help out here.
	You know, people around the world don't all understand or necessarily care about California.
	Most of the people that listen to the show speak English and many of them are expats and they're all around the world.
	Barbara Boxer is the U.S. Senator from California with Dianne Feinstein.
	They're both Democrats and brain dead.
	Literally.
	And then Carly Fiorina wants to...
	And the California Republican Party's been running just losers, one after the other, because the party is dominated by a bunch of religious nutballs from Southern California who can't put together a candidate that can actually win.
	Meanwhile, Carly Fiorina and Meg Whitmother are loaded.
	And so they just finance their own campaigns and screw what anybody thinks.
	But Carly, I realized by watching her that she is a born politician.
	The way she got her job, obviously, at HP is she's political.
	She seems dissociated, but she seems like a slick politician who's been doing it all her life, even though she's totally an outsider.
	She's a natural.
	She's so good, my prediction, she will be the first female president of the United States.
	Really?
	Is she hot?
	She's not hot, but she's very attractive, and she's sharp.
	She's really sharp, and it's obvious that she has the potential, if she doesn't screw it up, to go right into the White House, if she doesn't stay in the Senate too long, because if you stay in the Senate too long, you just build up too much evidence against you.
	But listen to Diddy No.
	1.
	She's given one of her little...
	And she's got some speechwriters, obviously.
	I can't believe she's writing this stuff herself.
	Take my word for it.
	It's just slick.
	Here we go.
	In her 28 years as a career politician in Washington, D.C., Barbara Boxer is a bitter partisan who has said much but accomplished little.
	She may get an A for politics, but she gets an F for achievement.
	So I'm watching her construct these little things that she puts together, and obviously it's all been canned and put together for her.
	But it's actually somewhat impressive.
	And she's got a...
	You know, most politicians and a lot of businessmen, you'll see them do what I call the inappropriate smile at the inappropriate time.
	Which is somebody's talking away, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	And then they get a big smile right in the middle of a sentence.
	And it's like always, it disturbs me personally.
	She actually does this, but she does it with the right timing.
	She's not like, you know, Bill Gates does this constantly.
	He's obviously, somebody told him to do it.
	And Bill Gates, if you listen, watch him talk.
	He'll put his smile, he'll just put a, just a gratuitous smile in the middle of some, nowhere for some unknown reason.
	Well, it's almost, to me it's almost like he's thinking something, he knows something, and he's actually thinking, shut up, slave.
	Yeah, maybe.
	Well, whatever the case is, she actually has a real pleasant smile.
	She looks, she looks, she's very presentable in terms of, you can see her being a senator.
	She represents herself and her voters well.
	I'm telling you, this woman has all the potential to be the, and she's got the female vote, easy, because now it's going to be, you know, you can't be a woman, just going to vote for a woman with two women running against each other.
	It's just a no-brainer.
	They're going to pick her.
	She's just shy.
	All right, let's get to some three clips here.
	That she promised would reduce unemployment to 8% or less.
	She has become so tone deaf about reality that she has deluded herself into believing that the word grumpy actually describes the desperation and despair caused by big government folly, big government bailouts, and the buildup of $13 trillion of national debt.
	It is precisely this kind of old politics, the failure to listen, the failure to understand, that has caused tens of millions of Americans to feel betrayed.
	Our fellow citizens feel betrayed by the distant and isolated politics of incumbency, entrenchment and incompetence.
	This election is also about big differences between the kind of people we are and what we believe.
	I believe that each person everywhere has enormous potential if they are given the freedom and the opportunity to fulfill it.
	What did you record this off of?
	AM radio?
	No, it was a really bad feed from C-SPAN. Like the wireless?
	John's sitting there at night with his cap on.
	Anyway, she's got a bunch of memes that are starting to crop up, but betrayal is one of them, and I know where that's headed.
	That's the change and hope and all the rest of it that Obama throws out there.
	The counteraction to that is that...
	Where are you going with this?
	Are you telling me that she is being pimped out and being polished up to take the baton from Obama?
	Is that what you're saying here?
	Well, it's either going to be in the...
	Yeah.
	But I don't know if they're going to run her out right away.
	She has to do a little...
	She has to beat...
	But I think she's going to...
	I think that she can not only beat a boxer easily, but...
	I think she is the one that could almost get Whitman to beat Jerry Brown because she's the one that's going to lead the party because she's such an attractive candidate.
	Play the clip three.
	We must end the failure and the disgrace of California being responsible for one out of every six unemployed Americans.
	Barbara Boxer's answer of rhetoric over reality stops now.
	So now you notice another meme coming up, which is rhetoric over reality, which is again, not really about boxer, it's about Obama.
	Betrails about Obama.
	Rhetorics about Obama.
	This is really a frontal attack on Obama.
	Now, the fourth clip I have is the indicator that she is a total politician with this bullcrap story that these things were essentially developed and perfected by Ronald Reagan, you know, where you have the personal anecdote about somebody.
	And Reagan would always at least say who they were.
	This is just a bullcrap anecdote that she throws out there that is classic political, you know, crapola that people eat up.
	But when I heard it, I said, oh, this woman is just obviously a, I mean, she's like a career politician without ever being one.
	Throughout this campaign, I have met tens of thousands of Californians from every walk of life.
	And even with all the challenges of policy and government facing America, what I heard most often as I traveled up and down this great and glorious state was a concern about the core of America, our soul and our spirit.
	People fear that something is slipping away from us, that America is drifting.
	What is happening to us?
	It was symbolized for me by a woman who gripped my hand and looked into my eyes and said, I have never voted before, but I am voting for you because I fear for my children's future.
	I knew instantly what she meant.
	Dreamers and patriots founded our country on a single radical idea.
	That anyone, from anywhere, could live the life they choose and rise to fulfill their own potential.
	That the pursuit of happiness is a protected right.
	Alright.
	What a crock.
	Hold on.
	Let me say this about it.
	This sounds like a mumbo jumbo black magic bullcrap.
	Pretty much.
	So I'm now predicting that she will be the first woman president.
	Okay, alright.
	This is good.
	This is a long bet.
	It's a long bet.
	I'm way ahead of it.
	I like it.
	I see this coming down Broadway.
	She's really slick.
	Anyway, that is Harley Fiorina.
	Okay.
	The next president of the United States of America.
	So, wow.
	We stumbled onto something big with this scram device for Lindsay Lohan, which at first it looked like it was just kind of a real news story.
	Just to remind you, she had to show up in court.
	She was in Paris or she was in France at the Cannes Film Festival.
	She lost a passport, blah, blah, blah.
	They have cameras in the courthouse.
	Her boobs are hanging out.
	We're like, what is going on?
	Why is this being propagandized on us?
	And it's becoming very clear, as now the word scram is...
	Kids who are 13 years old know this word now, because Lindsay Lohan apparently was at the MTV Movie Awards, and her scram bracelet anklet went off!
	And immediately the judge summoned her and it was pay $200,000 in bail or go to jail right now.
	And of course she's saying, oh it didn't go off, I didn't drink anything.
	So what the hell is going on with this?
	And I think we've hit on something really big here.
	As we are getting messages from insiders, two insiders.
	One from, oh no, this is not necessarily from the scram bracelet, but the more, I wouldn't say popular device, but the device that has been used for a long time is the interlock, which disallows you from driving your vehicle if you're intoxicated.
	You have to blow into a tube.
	And this is big, big business.
	This is like a half a billion dollar scam in the state of California alone.
	And I've gotten a message from an Interlock insider.
	Actually, Drager is the company that installs these things, and I think they have an exclusive license with the state of California for these things.
	And he sent me a note, and of course I can't mention who it is.
	He says there's probably a couple other people who listen to the show in the morning.
	But the court essentially will...
	Well, actually, Drager has deals with 27 different states to provide the interlock service.
	So basically, if you get caught DUI and the judge driving while under the influence and the judge deems it necessary, they will force you to install the interlock device on your car.
	However, he says, looking at the database...
	He says there's plenty of first-time offenders or even better, underage kids who were caught drinking and driving.
	They get the interlock.
	How does that work?
	There's an interlock in your car.
	You're too young to drive.
	I'm not quite sure how that works.
	So the court orders your interlock to be installed.
	It's $1,000 for the device.
	There's installation fees.
	They have, of course, service centers across the country.
	Once a month, you have to bring your car in for an inspection.
	This is being upgraded soon, which I'll get to in a moment.
	The inspection consists of checking if the unit is calibrated.
	They download the data off the device.
	This monthly inspection costs $35.
	Does not uncover the cost of recalibrating the device.
	Extra fee for that.
	The device logs the date, time, blood alcohol levels for each blow the user does into the unit.
	The data gets uploaded to their servers and reporting is, if necessary, generated on the fly for any user.
	In this case, a caseworker's job is assigned another fee there or a court cost to go over the reports, do spot checks on the data.
	These, of course, are state officials.
	Each state court has the right to request spot checks whenever they feel like it.
	Drager, of course, charges the state a fee.
	Reporting fees are a huge moneymaker for Drager.
	The state pays big money for the reports, for all these spot checks, and of course they recuperate the money by raising the DUI fines and court costs for DUI-related offenses.
	Now remember, these are, instead of saying, we're taking your license away, they're installing these devices in your car.
	You still with me, John?
	Yeah, I find the whole thing to be, let me see, what's the word I'm looking for?
	Abhorrent.
	Yes.
	So, a few perks the interlock user gets to enjoy.
	One rolling reset violation.
	So, this is crazy.
	To prevent you, you have to blow into this thing while you're driving.
	This makes no sense to me, but...
	To prevent users from cheating the system, there are countermeasures built into the device.
	The car won't start unless you blow and register 0.25 blood alcohol content levels.
	Is that the legal limit, 0.25?
	No.
	It's much lower, right?
	Yeah, that's lower than the legal limit.
	After the initial blow, the unit can give out an alarm requesting for the user to blow again into the unit.
	Just while you're driving along?
	Yes, while you're driving along.
	I'm driving along.
	Beep, beep, beep, beep.
	Blow into the unit.
	No, wait a minute.
	I've got to make a hard left turn.
	Blow into the unit.
	No, I've got to get through traffic here.
	No, blow into the unit.
	If the user fails to blow into the device, the unit automatically will make the headlights flash and the horn starts going off.
	The only way to get rid of this is by pulling over, turning off the car, and re-blowing into the device.
	This is called the rolling retest.
	Well, that sounds like a hazard to navigation.
	Of course it is!
	It's stupid!
	So one rolling retest violation, you get a fine from the state, an extension of your interlock sentence, tampering with the device, fine, plus purchasing a new device.
	If you do not repurchase the device, then you lose your driver's license.
	Any reading over 0.25 is now all of a sudden a DUI violation, which of course it's not because the level is much higher.
	Well, I don't know.
	I have to look at the level.
	I don't know what they're referring to when they say.2.
	Whatever the case, it's possible.
	So anyway, here's what's coming next.
	Integrated GPS tracking on all interlocked devices.
	Cellular card options so information is uploaded directly from the car.
	Oh, this is ridiculous.
	Oh, yes.
	Oh, yes.
	And here it is.
	With all the GPS and cellular card access, it will be possible to shut off the car remotely.
	And Drager is actually quite worried.
	No, this is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
	Yeah, Drager is...
	The guy's in the middle of a left turn, right, boom, shuts the car off in oncoming traffic.
	So then we get an email from an attorney whose name we are encouraged to use, David Lee from Williamsburg, Virginia.
	He says, when I'm not listening in the morning, I'm a criminal defense attorney in Virginia.
	I have some experience, thankfully not firsthand, with the interlock system.
	A few observations.
	Under Virginia law, people who are required to have a system must keep it installed for six months with no positives.
	This is what Lindsay Lohan had.
	She had a positive on her SCRAM bracelet.
	They're required to bring their vehicle in monthly for the data download.
	If there's a positive, then the six-month clock starts all over again.
	So we've already heard this from our Draeger Insider.
	The fees for installing a monthly monitoring.
	And here's the...
	The thing that he says that sparked my interest.
	Until a few years ago, the interlock was required only for a second DUI within a certain number of years.
	A couple years ago, under pressure from, there it is, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, MAD, a second way was added.
	If a person's blood alcohol content was at or over 0.15, they must immediately install one.
	Pressure is growing to require them for first-time offenders.
	And then he has a couple of cases where there were some false positives and an attorney brought the interlock guy into court and he said, hey, is it possible that maybe your device misread something?
	You know, cigarette smoke in the air, transient voltages, all kinds of technical things.
	And the technician was so utterly evasive that the judge threw it out of court.
	So this is a huge scam.
	And I guarantee you that Lindsay, I'm pretty sure she didn't drink.
	I'm pretty sure that they set it off just to send another message to everybody.
	Get more attention for it.
	It was a marketing exercise.
	It shouldn't be any perfect.
	More perfect.
	Lindsay's at the MTV Movie Awards.
	Oh, she'll be drinking.
	It's easy to believe.
	Oh, we've got a positive reading.
	Oh, boy, it's all over the news again.
	You know what the shame of this whole thing is?
	Is that somebody like Lindsay Lohan is actually right now in a position to literally sober up and go after this bull crap and emphasize to the youth of America or all of fans or whatever that this system is creepy and it's just a bad scene.
	I don't know.
	She won't do that.
	She may be in the position as a person, but I somehow...
	I don't think she's got enough on the ball to make that switch of mentality.
	No.
	I could be wrong.
	I think she's pretty much mind-controlled.
	Part of the president's slut squad.
	Anyway, so just to kind of...
	We now know that the World Health Organization is out to pretty much ban drinking around the world because it's not good for you, they've heard.
	Yeah, drinking...
	Well, this is the new prohibition, neo-prohibitionists.
	And I think, by the way, that the salt thing may be related to that because once you take those salty snacks out of bars, people will drink less.
	Oh, wow, that could be related.
	You're right.
	Well, so the...
	Here it is.
	The head of Scotland's biggest police force has said alcohol played a major role in 14 murders in his area in the past 10 weeks.
	It's the demon drink.
	Yeah, every time I have a drink I want to shoot somebody.
	It's the demon drink, I tell ya.
	No, this is neo-prohibitionism.
	Because, you know, the public is harder to control, and they actually do a little more thinking for themselves when they have a drink.
	It's a social lubricant.
	Yeah, it can get you laid out here.
	It's also a digestive for people who, you know, want to have a glass of wine with their meal.
	But, you know, if you can get everybody to stop drinking, which, of course, we know doesn't work, Because it just becomes a nightmare for law enforcement.
	But, you know, this is the idea because you can control the public better.
	I mean, this is why some religions, I believe, ban all use of alcohol because sometimes somebody's going to say, wait a minute, this doesn't make any sense if they have a drink.
	So, related, Hartford Hospital conducted a study about the effect of marijuana while driving.
	And the news story is great because it's like Hartford local television.
	I have to share this with you for a moment.
	We've all heard about the dangers of drinking and driving, but what about smoking marijuana and getting behind the wheel?
	By the way, this is a Fox affiliate.
	Fox CT, everybody.
	And she's wearing a lovely yellow dress, our info babe here.
	A new study by Hartford Hospital researchers says smoking pot has minimal effects on how you drive.
	While doctors say the study has its limitations, the findings were surprising.
	Fox 61's Narmeen Choudhury joins us now with more.
	Narmeen.
	So now they put the young kid in.
	They by no means are trying to say that it is safe to drive under the influence of marijuana, but it does show the increasing need to study the effects of the drug just like we do with drinking and driving.
	Marijuana remains a controlled substance and illegal under federal law.
	However, more and more states have legalized the medicinal uses of the drug.
	It's a big hit in California and some other states.
	You know, I think it's coming down the pike.
	As pot seems to creep into everyday life, some say it's more important than...
	I love how the script is amazing, how pot seems to creep into everyday life.
	It's like so loaded.
	Ah, I love it.
	And ever to look into its effects.
	Get the studies done now and You know, come out with decisions after that.
	Legal or not, many people are driving under the influence of marijuana.
	And it's important to actually understand the science and what's going on.
	Ah, the science!
	The science!
	...policy decisions.
	Researchers from Hartford Hospital concluded a three-year study looking at the effects of marijuana use and driving.
	Eighty-five volunteers smoked what's equivalent to a joint, then were asked to respond to tests through a simulated driving machine.
	Complete with obstacles like dogs running out into the street or busy intersections.
	Oh, wow, man, a dog.
	It has obvious effects on the brain.
	Researchers found it had little impact on driving performance.
	Drivers who are intoxicated on marijuana would slow down.
	Dude, it's like, how much did they spend over three years to figure out that when you're stoned, you drive slower?
	Like...
	Really now?
	Really now?
	They drive slower, apparently.
	I'll defer to the science.
	Science!
	You know, taking mind-altering substances and driving endangering other people.
	But it's kind of like drinking and driving.
	You can only legislate behavior so much.
	So limited effects on driving skills.
	However, researchers did find volunteers were more easily distracted after smoking.
	Oh!
	No big surprise there.
	No big surprise there, she said?
	No big surprise there.
	She said no big surprise.
	What is she, a stoner?
	So, meanwhile, California's got it on their ballot in November, but Washington State's tried to get it on their ballot.
	In Washington State, apparently they can't get enough people to sign because the guys are stoned.
	They're so stoned that they can't get out and get signatures.
	It's like, come on, man.
	One of these guys says, man, we couldn't get anyone to...
	We couldn't afford enough to get people to go out.
	We had to pay people to go out and get signatures, man.
	So we didn't do...
	We don't have the signatures.
	It's real simple.
	It's real simple.
	All you've got to say is...
	Free pizza here.
	Free Fruit Loops here.
	These guys, these stoners in Washington State are too lazy to get out the vote.
	Unfortunately, they talk about the science and how your brain reacts.
	I would have liked to have known what the actual science is or what they claim the science to be.
	I told you that I did my own study flying stoned in a helicopter under supervision of an expert instructor who was aware of the situation.
	And I don't think I've made a better landing in my life.
	It took me a while.
	It was like 10 minutes of like, yeah, I'm almost there.
	Why does it take this guy so long?
	What's the rush?
	I'm in no hurry, man.
	I just want to sit her down nice and gently.
	I wonder what's going to actually change in California if they pass this thing, and I hope they do.
	I'm almost guaranteeing that the usage will go down and it won't even be remotely noticeable that it's legal, except occasionally when you go out to outdoor concerts, you already smell dope in those places, but you're going to smell more.
	Because when the music's playing, people are just going to want to light up.
	Yeah.
	Oh my goodness, John.
	And now, back to real news.
	I can't believe we missed this one.
	One of our producers actually pointed it out to us, and I was just like, wow.
	Um...
	Lee Ling...
	Oh yeah, doggone it, we did miss this.
	Lee Ling...
	I wish we had that clip.
	Yeah, I have it somewhere.
	Lee Ling, who wandered into North Korea with a camera and who was thrown into a five-star hotel and who, of course, Bill Clinton had to go and liberate Was that about nine months ago that Clinton did that?
	You know, it makes you wonder what happened on that plane when they were flying back.
	Yeah, she's pregnant.
	Yeah, well no, she gave birth to a baby girl.
	Yeah, named Bill Clinton.
	She named it after Bill Clinton.
	Lee Jefferson Clayton.
	How does that work?
	Is her name Lee Ling or Lee Ling Clayton?
	I guess she married some guy named Clayton.
	Oh yeah, the father is Ling's husband, financial analyst, Lane Clayton.
	The baby's first name, Lee, is a nod to Ling's sister, Lisa, a former co-host of The View, and Jefferson is Clinton's middle name.
	Oh, isn't that special?
	Oh, that's so sweet.
	Yes.
	Yeah, we did miss that.
	Yeah.
	That is real news, no agenda style right there.
	So I got a clip from WNYW. WNYW! Which we should have played.
	This is not a new clip, but I forgot about it.
	It was on the DVR. Oh, I keep forgetting to record this.
	Play the soy one, the soy clip.
	I think we played this on the show already, John.
	I want to play it again.
	Okay, but we already played this.
	You don't remember, do you?
	No.
	Tell me you actually don't remember playing.
	We played this at the end of the show.
	Oh, jeez.
	I'm getting worried about you now.
	The things like the soy milk, you know, the rice milk.
	Yeah, what else are we going to call it?
	Soy juice?
	You can't do that.
	Soy jism.
	Rosetta.
	Okay, that's an option too.
	Anyways.
	I don't know what's funnier, the clip or that you forgot that we already played it.
	You don't know that we played it.
	I know that we played it.
	Document it.
	Document it.
	See, in the olden days, when Bubba was doing the show notes, we had all this stuff documented.
	Now it's undocumented.
	You can't prove it.
	It's...
	I'm not going to argue with an old man.
	I do have a real news clip.
	Okay.
	I just thought I'd complain about this.
	And now, back to you.
	We play the...
	But the extra thing I've got, this is the kind of, this is what people watch as news.
	And then, here's what's interesting about it.
	Somebody comes up with this inane bull crap that nobody cares about.
	It's about Kate Hudson walking around.
	Apparently she walked around public with her son like this is breaking news.
	She's promoting a movie.
	She was on Letterman the other night.
	And this woman, who's the commentator, says, that is great information.
	And I'm watching this going, great information?
	For what, in what, what, on Neptune?
	Okay, Nancy, and another cute couple, you have news on Kate's date.
	Oh, yes.
	All right, Lisa.
	It was a little mommy and me time for Kate's adorable six-year-old boy, Ryder Hudson.
	He visited his mom on the set of Something Borrowed in Manhattan.
	Now, if you look closely at the picture, you can see that his hand is injured.
	I don't know what happened, baby, but feel better soon.
	Niecy, good job out there.
	Wow!
	We have more gossip coming up next.
	That is really a great job.
	Some really good information there, baby.
	It's unbelievable.
	Meanwhile, Kate Hudson explained it on The Letterman Show.
	The kid is in one of these phases where he thinks it's cool to have a so-called injury and just his hand was wrapped up with a splint.
	Kids go through that phase.
	It's really dumb.
	I never had any of my kids go through that phase.
	Dumb kids go through it.
	That's great information!
	Oh my goodness!
	Honey, honey, honey, did you just hear that great information on the TV? Great information.
	Yeah.
	So...
	Let me do one more political thing since we're talking about Carly.
	I'm trying to forget.
	Compare what she said to...
	This is the typical...
	The Democrats or the Republicans are getting more and more extreme on this.
	The Democrats seem to be completely oblivious to the fact that nobody's got a job and maybe needs to get back to work.
	And so Gavin Newsom, another local boy, the mayor of San Francisco who's running for attorney general, I think, or one of these, or lieutenant governor, I guess.
	He won his primary, which means he gets to run in the November elections.
	And he comes out, and his acceptance speech, compare that to Carly's, is mostly about...
	Cap-and-trade.
	Like, what California...
	We got the worst unemployment in the state of California, and he's talking about screwing us even more.
	Play the news.
	...to a crowd of about 300 supporters.
	Let's listen in for a couple of moments.
	...in the spirit of AB 32 and SB 375 and those that do not, that want to either suspend it or end it.
	Consider this fundamental fact.
	There are four countries that actually reach or exceed the CARA protocols.
	Of the 44 that signed them, Sweden, Denmark, United Kingdom, and Germany.
	And I think it's an important point, an important point of consideration for all of you to consider this fact.
	Before, as my good Chief of Staff Steve Kava says, before Lehman Day, before September 15, 2008, all four of these countries had three things in common vis-a-vis the United States.
	Lower unemployment, higher growth, And lower income disparities.
	What's interesting about these four countries is they dramatically shifted their...
	He goes on and on about how they went green and so they got lower unemployment.
	I'm looking at what, the UK is in the tank.
	Oh, big time, yeah.
	Sweden and Denmark, I mean, they're countries with very small populations.
	And he's talking about lower unemployment, higher growth?
	Bullshit!
	What is he talking about?
	That's total bullcrap.
	It's total bullcrap.
	So he's promoting, so he wins his primary and he's talking about Kyoto.
	Well, here's what I think is happening, John.
	And again, it was just a tough week and it happens once or twice a month where I'm just away from my crackpot command center and I just can't get all the research in that I want to do because I have to have a real job to make ends meet.
	The news is nothing but...
	Disaster.
	Biggest disaster.
	We're all going to die.
	The ocean is going to get sick.
	It is all over.
	Forget about it.
	Now there's a report that this is not just a second oil spill that is 11 miles up from the Transocean disaster.
	But the whole ocean floor is cracked and it's all over.
	It's all over.
	And in fact, the response from the government is making it all over.
	Where are these people without jobs?
	Not because of fishing.
	Because the oil industry has just been shut down in the Gulf of Mexico.
	And it's been there since 1947.
	And it's not just drilling.
	It's refineries.
	Yeah, no, it's an infrastructure.
	It's what people think.
	Oh, it's the shrimping industry.
	No, no.
	These people are going to starve.
	They're going to get thrown out of their homes because of the moratorium on drilling on oil.
	And this is the beginning of the last final push in my book.
	The oil cabal is making one while they're still in their 60s.
	Because let's face it, they're getting up there and then they have to hand it off to the younger generation.
	They don't give a crap about them either.
	It's like one last final push.
	Already the oil futures, we're looking at $101 a barrel for the...
	I have the information here.
	Oil futures are not that price, by the way.
	I'm sorry.
	December 2018...
	It's a long-term game.
	This is not like happening tomorrow.
	Long term gain.
	So here's the plan, the way I see it.
	And this does lead into cap and trade.
	Which is great, by the way, for the oil companies.
	Cap and trade rocks for them.
	They want it.
	This is the next thing you're going to hear.
	You're going to hear the president.
	It's all going to be about cap and trade.
	So first, we need to liquidate BP. And BP is not an oil company.
	They're like a bank.
	They're an administrative office.
	It's a virtual company.
	Yeah.
	Like most big companies today.
	Yeah, the real company that actually owns the oil is JP Morgan.
	They actually own it.
	And they've got tankers floating around.
	So this is just, you know, they just buy rights, contract it out to companies like Transocean just to run the money through it.
	So this was all planned, but not in the way that people think it was planned.
	This is all just to do one more big shove-it-up-your-rectum oil hike, which is coming in the next two to three years, but I'd say 18 months is when it's really going to start, and we'll see...
	Prices for a dollar per barrel of oil, well in excess of $100, maybe close to $200.
	And they're just going to do one last big push so that they can all go down to Paraguay and laugh at us, stupid slaves.
	Well, I'm not buying this argument at all.
	I don't think they're going to, they can't sustain that price.
	They can barely keep it at $75 even with this well blown out.
	It's going to be so easy.
	They'll never get it that high.
	Shell or maybe Exxon or someone is going to buy whatever so-called assets are left from BP because it will go out of business and it will give everyone a real satisfied feeling.
	Well, that will definitely...
	They'll just go bankrupt like it was predicted in the recent Fortune magazine article, which sunk the stock price of BP, because the guy said in the next 30 days, this expert, he says, this is bull crap.
	He says, there's no way they can pay all these legitimate claims, whether they're legitimate or not, because they're just going to put it into litigation, and they're going to give away as much money as they can, put themselves in a balance sheet that's in arrears, and then they'll say, well...
	Chapter 11, bye.
	And then what's going to happen to all the people down in the Gulf?
	Well, you know, the state has got a Republican governor, so screw them.
	I'm telling you, the plan is to let them die.
	Well, they've been wanting to redo the New Orleans area to make it kind of a Riviera, you know, kind of a yuppified place.
	There you go, Haiti.
	Haiti.
	It's Haiti, exactly.
	Let's turn it into a beautiful...
	Let's get rid of those black people that are better off in Houston.
	Let's get them out of there.
	Move them out.
	It's a beautiful area.
	If it was fixed up, the place is a dump.
	Yeah, we need some high-speed trains to move all those people out.
	Move them out.
	And we'll turn it into a beautiful resort.
	And it's a long-term plan.
	And everyone is being fooled into thinking, oh yes, well now we need some electric cars and reduce our dependence on foreign oil.
	What's dependence on foreign oil?
	This is American oil!
	And so cap and trade is going to be...
	I believe it's a part of the plan.
	You can say never let a good crisis go to waste, but cap and trade is going to sail through now.
	The whole country, everybody...
	This is the biggest fear I have.
	I'm going to be on Stern Monday, by the way.
	Oh, you're going to be on Howard Stern?
	Yeah, but it's going to be on the phone.
	So it's like, that sucks.
	I hate that.
	I want to be in the studio.
	It's going to be on the phone.
	Yeah, it blows.
	I don't want to be on the phone.
	It's going to suck.
	Yeah, but I heard him talking about exactly this issue on the show.
	And I'm like, oh God, they're so hook, line, and sinker into all of this.
	And they think, oh, well, we need the government.
	And meanwhile, Scott the Engineer, who is the douchebag of the show, actually has it by the right end.
	And he's getting berated.
	It's just like, ugh.
	The way he suggested this whole thing is a giant scam?
	Yeah, and that the government is complicit.
	No, that could be...
	So we didn't tell the story about the gossip going around the rigs about Schlumberger and his experience with that particular rig that blew up.
	Yeah, well there's a couple of, of course not just a couple, there's like a million different stories running around.
	One is that there could have been some sabotage according to BP's own report.
	There's all these different discrepancies that they're now seeing with the underwater robots.
	What is it here?
	Post the explosion, numerous ROV hot stab interventions were conducted in attempt to activate blind shear rams, variable pipe rams, LMRP disconnect.
	Everyone's an expert, by the way, now.
	Everyone knows exactly what all this means, particularly in Congress.
	So they found leaks, unidentified and undocumented modifications.
	So there's all kinds of conspiracies about it being sabotaged.
	It may be.
	It doesn't matter.
	Either way, the worst thing to do is to shut it down.
	That's the stupidest thing we can do is to shut down all drilling.
	It's going to kill the people down there.
	Kill them.
	It's going to kill all of us with all the money we're going to have to pay for costly oil-based products.
	With some stupid dream that wind and solar will save us tomorrow.
	If you're alive right now and you're over 30, you're never going to see it happen.
	No, it's not possible.
	The transition is way too slow.
	And you know me, I'm down with it.
	I believe that there's free energy out there.
	I'm a big fan of wind power.
	Out of your blowhole.
	They're never going to get enough things up.
	It's ridiculous.
	It's all theater.
	Yeah, it is.
	There's no sincere attempts.
	And of course everyone says, oh, that's not true.
	This has been going on for a hundred years.
	These people don't give a crap about that.
	They really don't care about you.
	And in the game, back to Clinton.
	Who pardoned Mark Rich and Pincus Green and all these guys who are running the biggest companies in the world.
	It's huge.
	Haiti, all a part of it.
	Jamaica, going to overrun, taking their oil.
	Now, it makes me sick.
	This is why I have the runs.
	You have what?
	Never mind.
	So talk about Schlumberger.
	Well, the story goes is that before that rig went online, Schlumberger apparently has to come out and okay something or other.
	And they went and looked at the, I guess they did their inspection with a robot or whatever, and they decided that the well was unsafe.
	This is the way the story goes, by the way.
	The well was unsafe, and they told the BP guy that was on the rig that they should plug it right now because the thing is just not stable.
	He's going to blow.
	And the guy says, no, it's fine.
	It's stable.
	We're not plugging anything.
	And the guy says, well, our advice is to plug it.
	We want to get off this rig now.
	And the BP guy says, well, we don't have any more helicopters scheduled today.
	It'll be tomorrow.
	Yeah.
	And the guy says, well, we want to get off this thing now.
	I said, no, you can't.
	And he says, okay.
	And so he got on the horn and called back to the shore and said, send us a chopper immediately.
	We want to get off this rig.
	The Schlumberger guys got off and six hours later the thing blew up.
	Wow.
	So how does that work?
	He got off and it blew up.
	I don't know.
	You were telling me because you were in the oil business for a while, right?
	I worked for Union Oil.
	And then I was also an inspector for the air pollution district at the Standard Oil Refinery.
	I bet you were a real dick as an inspector.
	No, I was actually one of the better guys.
	Oh, did you take bribes?
	No, you can't take bribes in California.
	If I was working in Jersey, I would for sure.
	Because we had a couple guys from Jersey and they said that's just the way it works there.
	Anyway, so apparently Jersey is just all bribes.
	Anyway, the thing you run into are these guys that at night, the night shift, and I was on shift work, so you get to work at night once in a while.
	Apparently, the guys that manage the foreman of the various crackers and cokers and all these different devices that they use to refine the oil, crank it up to the point where the whole place is about to blow up.
	It's shuddering, right?
	Yeah.
	And then the morning shift guys came in when the managers show back up and say, holy crap, what the hell are you doing?
	And they have to turn everything back to normal.
	But meanwhile, this guy's got this huge production number.
	So he gets like, you know, the guy gets like a promotion.
	Wow, those are fantastic numbers, Jim.
	Jerry, how come you don't have this kind of production?
	And so that's basically the mentality of the oil business, and you know that's what was going on in this rig.
	These guys say, yeah, yeah, we're going to handle it, don't worry about it.
	And of course, when the thing blows up, I think there's criminal negligence involved, and I hope somebody throws a book at these jokers.
	Yeah, they won't.
	Would people please remember that BP, a foreign company, by the way, not quite sure how that works, but BP donated a lot of money to the presidential election campaign for Barack Obama.
	They have an office in the U.S. that makes it legal.
	I'm sure they've got an office somewhere.
	But it's so obvious.
	People just really, well, it doesn't matter.
	I think the people that listen to the show, this is the, what do you call it, the preaching to the choir?
	Yeah, kind of.
	We need more choir.
	A choir is too small.
	Let's get bigger.
	Yeah, hell yeah.
	So let's talk about some donations.
	We didn't get a lot this last...
	This is kind of a disappointing week, to be honest about it.
	But again, I think a lot of it has to do with the vacation.
	Maybe we're just sucking.
	But we may be boring people.
	That's possible.
	Maybe we should do more real news.
	This is my...
	Your theory...
	My theory is we're not doing enough real news.
	And I have a clip that's really cool.
	Maybe we should play it before the...
	Okay.
	Well, first of all, I did Lindsay Lohan.
	It's soy.
	No, I'm not going to do soy again.
	I did a Lindsay Lohan and tied it into what's really going on.
	I mean, come on, we're trying to, we did the extra, the great information clip.
	Yeah, okay, well, let's thank a few people.
	Lucas, you got, this is yours, but it looks like Thai Hema, I don't know.
	Thai Hema, I would say.
	From Egg Toast, Netherlands.
	Oost heist.
	Egg Toast.
	Oost heist.
	It looks like Egg Toast.
	$125.
	You want to thank him.
	And Brian Kaufman from Tempe, Arizona.
	He gave us $69 and something to do with his girlfriend, Teresa Tenbrink.
	Well, it's a Karma Club donation from my girlfriend, Teresa Tenbrink.
	I will email you the longer explanation.
	Did you get an email?
	Yeah, I think so.
	Could you please forward that to me?
	I'm very interested in the 69 donations.
	Kurt Sissel from Evansville, Illinois gave us 5510.
	Looks like he gave it to us twice.
	I think it's Evansville, Indiana.
	Ryan Heck.
	I think it's...
	Is that Indiana?
	Yeah, he's in Evansville, Indiana.
	and we have a birthday call out for Ryan Heck.
	Well, hey there, Ryan Heck.
	It is your birthday on June 11th, and seeing as you introduced Kurt Sissel to the No Agenda Choir, we take great pride in wishing you a very happy birthday on behalf of your buddies, Kurt, John, and Adam.
	It's your birthday, yeah!
	So let's see, here we go.
	Here's the...
	I just donated $69.
	This is from Brian.
	I just donated $69.
	This is a Karma Club donation from my girlfriend Teresa Tenbrink.
	We met a year ago at my sister's wedding and have been traveling to see each other.
	She lives in Wichita or did in Kansas where he's from.
	He's in Tempe.
	She quit her job in Kansas a couple of weeks ago.
	We moved her down here over Memorial Day weekend.
	She has no job.
	She's totally stressed about it.
	Listening to the last show, realized the Karma Club was the most surefire way to help her land a job, I think.
	She'll probably get work shortly.
	Let us know what she does.
	Or go to the Karma Club site, which is what?
	Noagendacarmaclub.com?
	Noagendacarma.com.
	Noagendacarma.com.
	And post your good news.
	A couple of layaway people, Lisa Lang and Robert Alter.
	Also a donation from Lauren Osterman from Innsbruck, Austria.
	And I think he...
	That's a he.
	He's actually someplace else.
	I think we got that corrected.
	He is in Innsbruck.
	So I want to thank everybody.
	Go to noagendashow.com, dvorak.org, slash N-A, and...
	ChannelDvorak.com slash NA. And help us out.
	We need to pick up the pace a little bit.
	We would like to see people out there.
	If you can't give a call-out donation, at least get a subscription.
	It's $5 a month.
	It's no big deal.
	And people who have the $5 subscription, please check to see if it's still being taken out.
	We lose a couple.
	Every week, right?
	Every week we lose a couple.
	We lose a couple every day.
	We actually lose a couple.
	And every time I write them, they say, oh, that's interesting.
	Yeah, I did change my credit card.
	I forgot all about it.
	People, if you change your credit, we have it so the thing turns off.
	If one payment is missed, you're dropped from the list because I don't believe we should have the hounding style.
	You can check a box and make it that way, but we don't want to do that.
	And so just take a once in a while check to see if the donation is still coming through.
	That would be useful.
	If you're new to this program, and of course we are getting new choir members daily, the reason why we have a complete user-supported show is so that we can talk about anything in any way we want, and we don't play commercials.
	We've looked at what PBS does, our National Treasure.
	Our National Treasure!
	And they actually had one of those begathons the other day, and James Taylor was on.
	And, of course, James Taylor gets paid for doing that.
	Do you want to hear his shilling message for our national treasure?
	It's here because you support it.
	And the only way that works is if you'll step up to the plate and give as much as you can.
	If this is valuable to you, anywhere near as valuable to you as it is to me, you'll back that up.
	You'll follow through.
	You'll do the right thing.
	And you'll come up with some cash.
	Give as much as you can.
	Because that's how this works.
	Send us your cash.
	That was a nice bit of encouragement from none other than James Taylor.
	Hello.
	Is this James Taylor?
	Isn't this the guy who was the head of Nigeria?
	Is this guy?
	No, a different guy.
	No.
	I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
	So we are listener-supported 100%.
	We don't want to do it any other way.
	And when the support stops and we stop doing it, it's just that simple.
	And if we go off the track, we can kind of say, well, maybe we should talk about this more or that more.
	But I think most people kind of...
	Use the show as a background while they're driving.
	This is a commuter show, as far as I can tell.
	So you've homeschooled your kids, right?
	One of them.
	Oh, the successful one?
	She's the one.
	Yeah, well, she gets the best grades of any kid in the family after being homeschooled, which is not an unusual phenomenon, I might add.
	So, yeah, why?
	Oh, because she will be a terrorist.
	And I have proof.
	He's already a terror.
	I'm going to document it for you with Fox News.
	These are all people who have become disenfranchised in the community.
	They become radicalized.
	And they do the kinds of hard things that we saw in Times Square.
	You know, some of the things that they tell us about their background.
	Oh, you know, they weren't popular in school.
	They were taken out of class.
	Some were homeschooled.
	You know, do we look at everybody who's a loser in high school and say this could be a potential terrorist?
	I mean, what are we doing?
	Yeah, pretty much.
	Yeah, pretty much.
	What show was this?
	What disgusting show were you listening to?
	This is the Fed's...
	Let me see, what was this for?
	This was the...
	It's more of this homegrown terror.
	They arrested someone somewhere, God knows, who we're talking...
	What show is this?
	It's Fox.
	That's Rosanna Scotto.
	On what?
	And she's talking to...
	On Fox News, talking to security specialist Robert Strang.
	This is on Fox News?
	Yes!
	What's wrong with these people?
	What?
	Well, they're on board with the program.
	Yeah, Fox News is run by Democrats.
	You're right.
	If you homeschool your kids, they will turn into terrorists.
	So the feds apparently recorded some kids talking about jihad against Americans.
	Which is just, you know, it's just bullcrap.
	And it's a good day in New York, actually.
	Rosanna Scotto.
	She's big in New York.
	Everyone knows her in New York.
	She's on there with...
	You want to hear it again?
	Listen carefully to what she says.
	Yeah, she's got a checklist she's delivering.
	Because they were bullied in school.
	They were taken out of class.
	We don't want homeschooling in this country because God knows the government will lose control of your kids.
	And then the security, and she says, so they'll just turn into terrorists?
	Yeah, and the security specialist says, yeah, pretty much.
	These are all people who have become disenfranchised in the community, they become radicalized, and they do the kinds of hard things that we saw in Times Square.
	You know, some of the things that they tell us about their background, you know, they weren't popular in school, they were taken out of class, some were homeschooled, you know, do we look at everybody who's a loser in high school and say this could be a potential terrorist?
	I mean, what are we doing?
	Yeah, pretty much.
	So essentially if you're not popular even...
	A loser, as she would put it.
	So in other words, unpopular kids who may be thoughtful or they may be studious or they may just be, you know, not into joining everything they run across.
	They're losers by her standards and potentially a terrorist.
	This is wonderful messaging.
	Yeah, it's great.
	It's not quite as good and we can listen to a little bit of it because it's my favorite guy from CNN. Don Lemon, everybody.
	I'm Don Lemon.
	So as predicted...
	We played the clip of Bill Maher joking stereotypically about the president and black men.
	Like, yeah, you want your president to go in with a gun in his belt under his t-shirt and tell BP, who's going to put a cap in somebody's ass here?
	And of course the president is now, you know, this is big, what do they call it?
	The Samuel Jackson...
	Yeah, he's going to kick some ass.
	He's going to kick some ass.
	But now they...
	Listen to a little bit of this conversation and immediately he's like, well, all the Republicans are bound to be racist.
	Everyone's fucking racist now.
	It's a little crazy.
	And he's got a panel with Jesse Jackson.
	I'm sorry, I got a fucking pre-roll.
	See, I was too ill and didn't have time to...
	Wow, this pre-roll is making me want to have sex with her.
	What can she sell me?
	Oh, a Suzuki motorcycle.
	Cool.
	Okay.
	Here we go.
	Thank you all for joining me tonight.
	Press Secretary Robert Gibbs was asked about those comments at the White House briefing today.
	I want you to listen to that and then we'll talk about it.
	Any second thoughts on his choice of language?
	Is that appropriate language?
	I just want the transcript to reflect it.
	Ed was a little nervous about this.
	Jake, not so much.
	That's the jabroni Gibbs.
	I was laughing it up there with the White House shills.
	Who's the douchebag in the reporting complex asking if it's appropriate language?
	I don't know.
	Shut up, slave.
	No, I've not heard any regrets about the...
	This is about the president saying he's going to kick some ass.
	Yeah, obviously.
	Alright, so let's get to it.
	Roland, you know, after all...
	I'm sorry, this is not, this is Roland.
	This is the other shill that's always on CNN with Don Lemon.
	...uproar about him not getting angry.
	Once he does more criticism, what's going on here?
	It's called a double standard.
	You know, folks once say he should get upset, then he gets upset, then the same people who criticize him for not getting upset, all of a sudden now they're mad because he actually uses a particular phrase.
	But the reality is, the President, his nature is not one where he is going to have a flash of anger.
	He is who he is.
	And so that's really what this speaks to.
	And so I understand people want him to show some emotion, but you have to do you.
	And what he's saying is, fix the problem.
	That's more important.
	Yeah, and I want to talk to Tim about this.
	Tim, you heard Roland mention a double standard here.
	When he does get angry, can he do it without being stereotyped?
	Oh, here it is.
	Stereotyping.
	Okay, so we just had the black guy.
	Now let's have the white guy respond.
	The president was, quote, going street with his comments to Matt Lauer.
	Well, that's the kind of racialized language that fools like Matt Drudge and people on the right use.
	There you go.
	There you go.
	Fools.
	He's a fool.
	And people on the right.
	No, that's the same language that people on the left use.
	It's just like...
	You don't want to hear any more of this, trust me.
	Yeah, I do.
	Oh, really?
	Okay.
	You asked for it.
	To push those white racial resentment buttons with the public, look, no matter what the president does, he was going to get attacked.
	So if he says something angrily, that's what's going to come from Drudge.
	If he says something calmly, they're going to say he's being professorial.
	Let me just say this.
	The politics are no win.
	The president needs, if he feels anger, to express that anger.
	He needs to lead from a position of principle.
	And I think it's an open question as to whether or not he's done enough of that.
	If white folks can't handle it, if we get nervous because the big bad black man is raising his voice, that's our problem.
	What is wrong with these people?
	Oh my goodness.
	There's some chick in a yellow outfit.
	Maybe she'll say something funny.
	Oh my God.
	You don't have to worry about that.
	I'm going to let you get in on this, too.
	Roland, were you laughing?
	Did I hear you laughing about that?
	Why?
	First of all, whenever I get to hear Tim put some folks in check, I always have a good laugh.
	This subject has been going gangbusters, online, in newspapers, on the blogs.
	I told you, it's annoying.
	But CNN is just stirring up racial hatred.
	That's what they do.
	Yeah, the Democrats are the racists, let's face it.
	Yes, yes.
	So, I just want to give people a shout out.
	As we get closer to the end of the show, I have kind of, I found the...
	Salvo, the initial salvo that we're going to be getting out of Afghanistan sooner than later.
	Apparently the CIA has established the right relationships with the people there to get the drugs without having our armed forces there, it seems.
	Right, apparently most of it going to Russia, by the way.
	Russia's really pissed off about this.
	I don't blame them.
	Yeah, I mean, there's like 30,000 dead in the past year or some crazy statistic like that.
	With some hot heroin?
	Yeah, that the CIA is bringing into Russia.
	And there's reports from the Kremlin that Russia might strike back at the CIA in Afghanistan and might start to kick some ass over there and get them to stop selling heroin in Russia.
	Well, that'll be interesting to observe.
	That might be another good reason to get out.
	Meanwhile, I have a CIA meme I picked up on an NCIS show.
	Uh-huh.
	They mention two interesting facts.
	One is that the CIA and Homeland Security apparently can drain bank accounts for cause.
	Oh, yeah.
	Absolutely.
	I knew the CIA could do it, but I didn't know Homeland Security.
	The IRS can do it.
	So, yeah, they do.
	And they do it.
	So, here's the meme, the way it went.
	This is the end of the show, an NCIS show, where the CIA guy apparently found some evildoer and started stealing his money for the benefit of the agency.
	And there was just a couple of interesting points made in this little...
	This little back and forth between the CIA, who happens to have an English accent, not even a normal English accent, but one of those evil, crazy, Euro-trash English accents.
	He's Johnny Ive, I tell you!
	Close.
	And then you hear this little message, just like, you know, how does the CIA get his money?
	You weren't after the pirate.
	You were after his treasure.
	Found his phony health fund and cleared it out.
	I didn't know he would take it so personally.
	It seemed like an opportune time to cash in a favor.
	Three hundred million dollars, I'd say you got your money's worth.
	CIA keeps it.
	And you get survival as promised.
	A major threat has been neutralized.
	You thought I was gonna shoot him?
	Just let it get him back, that's all.
	We couldn't have him hide behind immunity, could we?
	Bank robberies for bad guys?
	Is that how the CIA finances their operations?
	I'm just trying to get back in the starting lineup.
	It's possible you're even more dangerous behind a desk.
	Wow.
	Yeah, I found that to be a fascinating little tidbit.
	They throw on national TV. There's a little too much of making the CIA part of everyday society.
	I mean, there's too much promotion of it.
	Now they have obits in the New York Times about dead spies and it has their background and all the stuff they did.
	It's just, I don't know, I'm not comfortable with it.
	Meanwhile, so I pick up on this one.
	This is the first opening cell phone.
	This is my second prediction of the show.
	We're going to be out of Afghanistan sooner than later, definitely before Obama runs for re-election.
	In fact, I think he's going to get us out of everything before, because that's the only way he's going to possibly win.
	We're going to take that to the bank.
	So you look for things out there that are floating around and kind of the edges of the structure.
	And you just look for the messaging that's going on.
	Because all this stuff is official.
	I mean, these guys aren't...
	This is Russ Feingold on Tavis Smiley, who we already know is a stooge.
	Who's Russ Feingold?
	Russ Feingold is one of the guys on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.
	He may be the head of it.
	And...
	He is like basically telling us why we shouldn't be in Afghanistan, which I think is interesting.
	He's a Democrat.
	And it just sounds like messaging to me.
	And what it says to me, when you listen to the whole thing, you'll hear the same thing.
	We are done with this place.
	It's a waste of money, a waste of time, and a waste of everything else.
	Smiley has his line to deliver.
	Which you'll hear.
	It's like, here's the script, Smiley, read this.
	And it says to me that we can expect to be out of this place pretty soon, and that means that obviously the CIA, whoever's going to be left behind, are in good, they're hooked up the way they wanted to be, and we don't need the soldiers there anymore.
	Oh boy, I have a good story that goes along with this.
	Okay, let's listen to the clip.
	And are not principally operating on Afghanistan.
	So what sense does it make to wait for conditions on the ground and get stuck further in a ground war in Afghanistan when this organization recruits and goes around the world and finds other weak spots?
	It is not a logical strategy.
	I think it's a formula for bleeding our country of our resources, weakening our military, and weakening our national security.
	How should the American people read that this is now the longest war in all of U.S. history?
	Well, I think they'll understand why it began.
	I voted to go after these guys in Afghanistan.
	Much of their operation moved into Pakistan when we unfortunately did not do the best job we should have to go after Osama bin Laden and his lieutenants.
	Actually, under President Obama, we're having much greater success of going after these people in other places around the world.
	And I congratulate the President, the administration, the military, and intelligence people, and others that are succeeding in this regard.
	But what doesn't make sense is to further weaken our economy.
	We're talking about $80 to $100 billion next year.
	To further weaken our military and to further alienate the people in Afghanistan in a way that causes more foreign fighters to join the cause against us.
	We don't want to drive the Taliban and the al-Qaeda any closer together.
	And this is exactly what this continued action causes.
	You know, this is perceived as an occupation, and who can really blame people to perceive it as an occupation after nine years?
	So it's understandable that it started this way.
	It's much harder to understand for the American people an open-ended commitment to something that doesn't seem to be at the very core of our national security anymore.
	So I really like your prediction, John, particularly when you take the following news article into account that Blackwater, or the company formerly known as Blackwater, is up for sale.
	Yeah, who'd buy them?
	Well, the guys who are going to be there, I mean, it's done, right?
	So we went in.
	The main reason, of course, was the Unicol pipeline, so we've got to protect all that.
	We've got to get all the bases in.
	There's a $100 billion base being built in Afghanistan.
	We will never be completely out, but who's going to populate the base?
	Well, it's going to be...
	It's a complete commercial venture.
	It's like the American people and the NATO countries, those people all paid for it.
	And we sent everyone over there and we kicked some ass and we set it all up.
	And now we're in cahoots with Karzai.
	Of course, we always have been.
	And now all the commercial companies are all set up.
	It was the perfect economic hitman scenario.
	It's all set up.
	Now, Eric Prince is like, okay, I'm done.
	You can take over that.
	Anyone who wants to buy this, and of course, it's going to be some huge conglomerate.
	You know, they're rolling it up, right?
	What's the...
	Cerberon, I'm sure, will buy it.
	Because the three-headed dog who guard the gates from hell, run by...
	Who's the jabroni?
	The ex-VP? Come on, help me.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	Dan Quayle.
	Dan Quayle.
	Yeah, Quayle.
	Right.
	So, you know, he runs one of the largest contracting firms in the world right now.
	It's all set up.
	Of course we're going to get out.
	Well, of course we have to go somewhere else.
	Well, the other thing, you know, everything Feingold said, I only played a small clip of his little interview there with Smiley.
	You notice how Smiley came in with the longest war in history, which is his setup line.
	Everything he said, everything without exception that he said applies to Iraq, but he doesn't bring Iraq into the conversation, which is costing us a heck of a lot more money than Afghanistan is costing us.
	So that I don't get.
	Well, he's on our national treasure.
	He has to follow.
	Why are we staying in Iraq?
	This argument applies to both of these situations.
	But I do think Obama's going to pull us first out of Afghanistan because it's going to be okay.
	Everything will be settled.
	And then they'll have some contractors left.
	And then he's got to get us out of Iraq before his re-election campaign because he's got to try to jumpstart the economy.
	And he doesn't want to...
	But again, of course, we talked about this before.
	The counter-elements are the people that are trying to make him into the next Jimmy Carter.
	So there has to be...
	So even if he gets us out of Afghanistan and Iraq and sets things in motion so he can maybe get re-elected, they're going to set him up with some sort of a weird kind of a...
	You know, like the hostage crisis that hung around Jimmy Carter's neck till the end.
	And they also kept the economy from cranking up until Reagan got in.
	So I think it's not going as smoothly as...
	Maybe we need to move the troops into Korea now.
	Maybe that's the next...
	Maybe we have to do a repeat.
	The Korean thing is a rerun.
	It's like it was back in the 50s.
	I don't think the Korean thing is going to work.
	The Koreans aren't for it.
	Here's how the meeting goes.
	Hey, Dvorak, what do you think?
	Should we do the Korean cabal again?
	What do you think?
	Can we do it?
	It's a rerun.
	It's a rerun.
	It worked in the 50s.
	Should we do it again?
	So, I don't know.
	No, they're going to do another.
	It's going to be something like the hostage.
	It's going to be some sort of a thing that's going to make him look inept.
	According to the chat room.
	Our whole embassy was captured, and everyone was held hostage, and Carter couldn't do crap about it.
	And then they sent helicopters over there, and they got stuck in the mud, and essentially they got sand in their motors, and they all died.
	I mean, it's just the thing was a fiasco, and they just voted him out.
	This is what they have to do to Obama with some sort of a...
	Crazy scenario that makes him look like a bonehead.
	So, what is the constant between Carter and Obama?
	Well, they're both Democrats.
	That's a constant.
	This is a big new Brzezinski.
	Oh.
	Both Carter and Obama have him advising on foreign policy.
	Yeah, he may be an agent provocateur.
	You think?
	You think?
	So, Bill Gates, saver of the world...
	With the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, you know, I have huge question marks around that foundation and what they're doing.
	Yeah.
	And I'm not alone.
	So Bill, of course, you know, I'm pretty sure he could go and help the people of Haiti if he really wanted to.
	He could buy the place.
	Right.
	Well, he has a plan.
	Hotels.
	No, it's better than that.
	It's much better than that.
	The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has created a $10 million fund for mobile banking services in Haiti.
	How has this got anything to do with all the reasons for this foundation to exist to end malaria?
	Because the new project will give Haitians control over their cash.
	ATM machines?
	ATM machines and mobile banking on your cell phone.
	Brother.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	I'm seeing if I can find a choice quote.
	After the earthquake in Haiti, there were huge difficulties in getting cash to families there.
	How about getting water?
	No, these guys, they don't give a crap.
	If only there had been a mobile money system, operations...
	If only there had been a mobile money system operating, a lot of problems would have been reduced and people could have started rebuilding their lives immediately.
	Jeez, Marie Antoinette has nothing on these guys.
	People will have to Google that, people under 40.
	It's unconscionable is what it is.
	That's another one of our favorite words.
	Yes, and they have a picture of two Haitians there looking at a mobile phone.
	Oh, I just received some cash.
	It's not really money.
	It's just like a text message, but I feel really good about it.
	Oh my God.
	Speaking of cell phones, this has been around for a while, this story.
	I haven't really talked about it.
	Big push now from Chuck Schumer that you can't buy a prepaid, what you call a burner phone, without identifying yourself.
	You have to show your papers before you can buy one because you could be a drug dealer.
	Yeah, great.
	Which I think is almost as crazy as the FCC... And this kind of frightened me.
	I'd heard about, you know, there was some software you could download and then you use that and it tests your broadband connection and then it sends the information to the FCC so that, you know, they have a clear understanding of broadband speeds, which, you know, to me it sounds like I'm not installing any software that does that.
	No.
	Just go to SpeedTester.
	I mean, just go Google Broadband Speed and run one of those online tests.
	Yeah, but now they've teamed up with a company called Sam Knows.
	Have you heard of this company?
	Sam Knows.
	Sam Knows.
	N-O-S-E?
	K-N-O-W-S. SamKnows.com. And SamKnows.com, and this is a fantastic story.
	Of course, there's nothing on the website that tells me about the company.
	Here it is.
	So, samknows.com.
	And here it is.
	So, this is broadband performance, availability, and speed.
	And it says, secret sauce inside.
	Secret sauce inside.
	Sam Crawford, a young software developer, noticed that his internet connection seemed slow to slow down considerably in the evenings.
	Yeah, prime porn time, Sam.
	Web-based speed tests seemed to show everything was okay, but Sam was sure that this couldn't be right.
	He tried developing his own test, which he installed on an old PC in front of his internet connection.
	Still, nothing seemed to be wrong.
	This reads like a.com, doesn't it?
	No, it actually reads like one of those About Us items that you see on gimmick restaurants like Carlos Murphy, about the supposed guy Carlos Murphy who doesn't really exist.
	So it gets better.
	Yeah, exactly.
	He realized he was ignoring all of his wireless traffic, and the only way truly to measure his internet connection was by installing his tests on the actual router.
	With no other choice, Sam set about building his...
	It's like Tom Swift.
	With no other choice, Sam set about building his own router with his tests embedded.
	This magic box worked, and he was able to build a report card on the performance of his internet connection, which he sent to his ISP. Eager to spread the word, Sam posted a research paper detailing his solution online and was inundated by requests from other consumers who also wanted to accurately measure the performance of their broadband.
	Only two years later, Sam Knows has expanded from Sam's bedroom into an international corporation!
	And Sam's original recipe with the latest generation of those same tests have now been adopted as the worldwide industry standard by the American and United Kingdom regulators and form the basis of government reports.
	So, faced with the need to produce industrial quantities of magic boxes, literally magic boxes, for a variety of ISPs and government clients, Sam knows developed a technology which can convert any manufacturer's router, gateway, or internet device, spelled Sam knows developed a technology which can convert any manufacturer's router, gateway, or internet device, spelled with an S,
	This secret sauce is still based around Sam's original recipe of tests, although Sam, and now his team of professional programmers, have made numerous improvements to the original bedroom version.
	The first router manufactured to launch a Sam knows-enabled device is Netgear.
	Sam and his team are currently working with other device manufacturers worldwide to make the tests available to every consumer.
	So what's happening is the government is contracting this company who spells device with an S to put crap into our routers that you get from your ISP to upload your shit to the fucking government.
	Yeah, Eric's actually looking at this crap now, but apparently it's a London-based company.
	It's a UK company, yes.
	Oh, is that proper in the UK? Okay.
	And it says the CEO is listening to the Netgear press release that I'm looking at.
	I have a Netgear here.
	Time Warner Cable gave me a Netgear.
	I bet you that crap's in there.
	In a release, Alex Salter, who is the CEO of...
	Why would a guy named Alex Salter be a CEO of a little company run by a guy named Sam?
	Where's Sam go?
	Did he get fired or is he just the CTO? Sorry, Sam.
	Sorry, Sam.
	But thanks.
	But this is now...
	Oh, here's an interesting point.
	So this company, of course, Eric's doing a Whois.
	Good, good, good, good, good.
	It's a privacy Whois service.
	One of those that hides the, you know, real source of...
	Oh, really?
	So that's pretty suspicious.
	What is the point of hiding your Whois information?
	Unless you're out of Virginia, if you know what I'm saying.
	The results will appear in a state of broadband report later this year and inform the FCC's effort to deliver on the ambitious national broadband plan.
	This is putting crap in your router that does not belong there.
	It's total backdoors.
	So, he comes up with London Online comes up, third floor Prospero House, which is apparently where Prospero Petroleum is located.
	Oh, gee, hold on a second.
	We'll figure it out eventually.
	I think Matt!
	Yeah, this is bad.
	I don't know what the deal is with Netgear.
	What's the point?
	Well, it's not just Netgear.
	Why don't you put this crap in your router?
	But it's not just Netgear.
	Like, every single...
	Here it is.
	Oh, San Jose.
	June 1st, 2010.
	This is new.
	Netgear Inc., a worldwide provider of technologically innovative, or innovative, as they say in the UK, branded networking solutions today announced that Netgear will be embedding the Sam Knows secret sauce into its standard 3500 series routers.
	I don't want secret sauces in my router.
	And we all know it's just tartar sauce.
	I don't want secret sauce.
	These guys, they have no fucking shame, John.
	Now they're just calling it secret sauce.
	It's like you might as well know.
	It's secret sauce.
	This freaks me out.
	This is really, it's like the end is nigh.
	I'll be that guy with the beard walking around with the end is near, John 18.
	Back to the Who Is research, the phone links back to Asio Technologies in Denmark.
	Where's the Sam guy anyway?
	Yes.
	I'm telling you.
	Sorry, Sam.
	Thanks for the secret sauce.
	We've got the secret sauce.
	We don't need Sam anymore.
	Yeah, if you see a router out there, ladies and gentlemen, that has got this stuff in it, I would buy something else.
	How can you know?
	Because I actually got...
	This is what freaks me out.
	Time Warner Cable came out because we're having all kinds of problems.
	Oh, we're going to install a new Netgear for you.
	Yeah, this one rocks.
	Yeah.
	It should have a little logo.
	Secret sauce inside.
	You know that it's in there now.
	It's in there.
	The secret sauce.
	Alright, well I got one more clip.
	It's a little lighter.
	I'm trying to keep it to show.
	I have to poop.
	Yeah.
	You have to poop?
	Let me just...
	I'll keep it light for you.
	Everyone's like, my daughter...
	Your daughter's gouging you.
	Oh yeah, here we go.
	About the TV licensing?
	Yeah, you gave a number that is inaccurate.
	Well, I said 300 pounds, but I guess I meant $300, and it's not even that anymore with the pound, because the pound is now, what, 145?
	So it's 142 pounds is the TV license.
	One interesting bit that did come in...
	From Mark in the UK who says, if you have an internet connection, you also have to buy the TV license, even if you don't have a TV license or a television.
	That makes sense to me.
	Because you can get television through the internet connection.
	Yeah.
	But it's £142 and most Brits find it a tremendous deal for their national treasure, the BBC, and I will agree to that.
	I think it is a very good deal.
	For the BBC. For what you get.
	For Top Gear.
	I'd pay £142 a year just to see Top Gear.
	Everybody loves Top Gear.
	Everybody loves Top Gear.
	Yeah, because it's like our show.
	Because they have no commercial interest, they can say, hey, this car sucks.
	Yeah, they do it constantly.
	Yeah, we don't have a show like that over here.
	No.
	You have to watch Top Gear to get good reviews of American autos.
	Yeah.
	I like that.
	They did a review of the Ford F-150, and he's driving around, he's talking about all the good features of it, and he says, but in the end, it's rubbish.
	It's rubbish.
	Wait, before you do your clip, why don't we do this first?
	All aboard, trains good, planes bad.
	Woo-hoo!
	There's some really, really good stories about how bad trains are.
	For those of you who are in the choir and new to the program, we have identified that high-speed rail is good.
	And it's great.
	And it will be fantastic.
	And we'll need to spend hundreds of billions on it.
	And planes are bad.
	Really, really, really, really bad.
	So, lots of little clues, John.
	The new iPhone 4 was announced today.
	And one of the touted features is the aluminum so-silicate glass on the front and back.
	It is, according to Apple's marketing materials, the same type of glass used in the windshields of helicopters and high-speed trains.
	I think that is an obvious...
	Yeah, that's an obvious plug for the idea.
	Trains good, planes bad.
	Well, Nach, you mentioned this segment.
	There's something going on that's kind of interesting, which kind of, I think, affirms my theory that they're just trying to gouge the public to lay new tracks for freight trains.
	And it's the route through Bakersfield, the high-speed train that supposedly California is going to build for getting us to L.A. in an hour and a half or two hours or whatever it is, a little longer than an airplane ride, apparently goes through Bakersfield and past some old fence, a couple old buildings in a school or something, and then the locals are pissed off about this thing.
	It's going to ruin the school and you can't do anything if these trains are going by at 200 miles an hour.
	I'm thinking, why would you route...
	A train through Bakersfield at 200 miles an hour when it would seem to be a lot cheaper and easier to route it in the normalized desert area that surrounds Bakersfield, which is kind of off the beaten track to be honest about it.
	So it seems to me that this route through Bakersfield at 200 miles an hour is bogus and it's the only reason they're going through Bakersfield is because they're going to create a stop there for the high speed freight.
	I mean, there's no, you know, it's not going to have a stop, it's not shown as a stopping point for the passengers that I know of, and if it is, that would slow things down.
	So there is, I mean, this scam is just only too obvious to me.
	Well, so the best way, and of course, we know that Hill and Knowlton is behind, they are the PR company for High Speed Rail.
	Right, that means we can't stop it.
	It is unstoppable.
	Unstoppable.
	You'd almost think that this story in the Wall Street Journal This is a part of their work.
	This is about the 80 new body scanners installed at 27 airports.
	A story about Mike Murdoch, this is a great story, who travels on two or three flights a week.
	One morning in May was ordered to put his belt and other belongings through the baggage x-ray machine and step into the body scanning machine at O'Hare International Airport in Chicago.
	So normally he leaves his belt on and keeps his wallet in his pocket when he goes through a metal detector.
	When Mr.
	Murdoch tried repeatedly to hold up his pants because they were falling down, which, by the way, this is an issue, because you have to put your hands up in the body scanner.
	He says a screener kept barking at him to keep his hands over his head, prisoner style.
	That way the machine could get a clear picture of his whole body.
	He says, of course, he didn't like this very much.
	He filed a complaint with the TSA about being separated from his valuables and being yelled at about his pants.
	And a supervisor from Chicago responded with an apology and suggested in future simply go to a screening checkpoint without body scanners.
	Well, that's what you think.
	But...
	What's happening now is...
	This is great.
	The TSA has been caught, according to this article, because you can choose, right?
	You can say, I don't want to go through that.
	I want to go through the metal detector.
	But the screener basically chooses you and says, please go left, please go right.
	They are sending good-looking people...
	Through the body scanner.
	According to the Wall Street Journal, all the good, hot, young people they send through the body scanner because they can look at them naked.
	I read this story.
	It's unpatriotic if you don't follow these instructions, which I find ironic.
	Here's the deal.
	Imagine yourself.
	People don't like the TSA anyway.
	They're creating a lot of bad vibes, bad karma.
	And so you've got this job.
	So you're okay.
	You're kind of bored with this job.
	You know that they're taking pictures.
	So what could be more entertaining than some girl coming through?
	She's looking pretty good.
	She looks pretty hot.
	Let's see what she looks like naked.
	And you put her in there.
	And you go, wow, look at her.
	She's pretty hot looking naked, too.
	She's pretty hot.
	Yeah, what do you think?
	I'd give her a seven.
	And so then the next chick goes through and you got a picture of her naked and the next one and the next one and you got a bunch of...
	This is entertainment.
	What else would you do if you had this job?
	I would do the same thing exactly.
	But where is the outrage from people?
	It's now so obvious.
	We know that they make fun of their co-workers.
	Bollywood stars have had to put autographs on their naked pictures.
	Where is the outrage?
	We have become safe!
	They don't care.
	People are completely brain dead.
	Alright, then I got one clip.
	There's a whole bunch of links in the show notes at NoAgendaShow.com showing you how horrible air travel is.
	But this one takes the cake.
	Takes the cake!
	And of course it's on Fox.
	Run by the Democrats.
	Listen to what a horrible, horrible situation.
	A woman claimed she was drugged and robbed all while on board a commercial airline flight.
	She says another passenger spiked her drink and then got away with her jewelry.
	Fox's Linda Schmidt has the story.
	Well, the alleged victim says another woman, a stranger, was sitting right next to her on the plane.
	And she says this woman spiked her soda and then stole jewelry out of her purse.
	She was totally knocked out.
	Community activist Isaac Abraham says the victim's family called him for help.
	He says the woman was on board a continental flight from Tel Aviv to Newark Thursday afternoon.
	She says a woman who was sitting next to her did not talk to her for seven hours...
	Oh my God!
	You didn't talk for seven hours!
	This is...
	Air travel is horrible, John.
	They don't talk to you for seven hours.
	They sit right next to you.
	...flight until she opened her purse to take out a sandwich.
	And that's when she says the woman could see her Swarovski jewelry.
	She takes a sandwich out of her purse and this jewelry bag with its designer's name appears.
	The lady passenger to her right makes a comment, oh, you have that type of jewelry.
	I can show you some that I have on my computer or my laptop.
	The victim says the woman then offered numerous times to buy her a soda, but she said no.
	By the way, that's where you can tell the story is bullshit because you don't have to buy a soda on any airline anywhere in the world.
	That shit's free.
	Unbelievable that they would make that mistake.
	I mean, if...
	Do people ever travel?
	If you're setting it up, you know, and this is...
	Someone at Hill and Knowlton needs to get fired for writing this script.
	Can I buy you a soda?
	Well, it gets better.
	So the woman got out of her seat.
	Then this passenger lady got up and on her own walked all the way back to the plane from aisle 16.
	That's a long walk.
	Bought back two drinks.
	It's a long walk from aisle 16.
	Oh, John, I'm so tired.
	I came from aisle 16.
	I'm pushed.
	And this is what she tells me.
	And it was a soda.
	It was a Diet Coke.
	She left it on her table there for 10 minutes.
	After 10 minutes, she took the full drink.
	Abraham says the next thing the victim remembers is waking up as the plane was landing feeling groggy.
	It was the next day that she realized her jewelry wasn't in her purse.
	It was gone.
	Now, the Port Authority did confirm for Fox 5 that this woman did, in fact, file a report with them, a complaint with them, on Sunday.
	However, they forwarded that complaint onto the FBI because the Port Authority says that would fall under the FBI's jurisdiction.
	The FBI? They also reached out to the FBI, but it will not comment on whether or not it's investigating.
	Brother, what a crock of crap that is all around.
	You know, by the way, that jingle, if you think about it during the day, you end up thinking about it all day.
	Don't tell me about it.
	It's like, everyone's singing it.
	Play it one more time so we can just annoy the listeners.
	Here we go.
	All aboard, train's good, plane's bad.
	Woo-hoo!
	I'm groggy from walking back from row 16 with my purchased Diet Coke.
	Two minutes and seven seconds of my life.
	I will never get back again.
	Yeah, you're not missing anything.
	Oh, my God.
	Well, the clip I have we can run next week because it's going to be an evergreen.
	We'll do it then.
	All right.
	Well, is it funny?
	It's not as funny as this idea.
	I got a note from Eric saying that apparently Ryanair, EasyJet, Frontier, and Alaskan are now charging for sodas.
	Yeah, but this was continental.
	This was continental overseas.
	They're not charging for sodas coming in from Israel, I can assure you.
	Well, I was just going to wrap up a couple of things before it kind of goes away.
	The Fox attack...
	In Gitmo Nation East.
	Still hasn't eaten a baby yet.
	No.
	Well, actually, the Scotland Yard is still investigating the crime scene, apparently.
	They're dusting for paw prints.
	But this is now being spun.
	And there was another attack, by the way, in Moore County.
	Let me see.
	Well, you can look at that yourself in the show notes.
	But this is being used to tell people that they have to put their trash in their bins.
	That apparently is the problem.
	Oh, I thought there would be fines anyway if you didn't put your trash in your bins.
	Well, they have cameras now in a lot of the bins.
	In the bins.
	Just make sure that you're not putting too much trash in.
	Yes, bins.
	You have to clean up your trash.
	And it's crazy.
	They had...
	I don't have a clip of it, unfortunately.
	But they had Brian May, the guitarist from Queen, in a debate with a politician.
	I think it was, or maybe he was like from the Fox Hunting Society.
	So that guy's like, hey, we gotta go shoot some foxes.
	We're being overrun.
	And Brian May, who I know personally, is a lovely guy.
	He's like, no, man, they're beautiful.
	We can't go killing foxes.
	They're really pretty.
	They're just like dogs.
	We don't want to kill them, do we?
	It's turning into just a crazy situation.
	Sometimes you just got to kill some things if you want to live.
	Yeah, they'll kill you.
	Yeah, if you want your babies.
	Or your babies, yes.
	And sinkhole outbreak all over China after the Guatemala hole.
	There's a number of...
	Yeah, but these are real looking sinkholes, aren't they?
	They're not like the crazy one in Guatemala.
	Right, well, yeah.
	These do look a little bit more sinkhole-ish.
	But the Chinese residents are very worried because they believe it is a clear sign of another huge earthquake yet to come.
	And I think we might as well just mention, I think I actually mentioned this on maybe Cranky Geeks, that the European Parliament is a plan now to force Google to save every search you have done for two years.
	As if the secret sauce in your router wasn't enough.
	Now they're going to save your searches for two years.
	People will start hating Google for this.
	I'm quite sure of it.
	They're going to get pissed off and they're just going to start using something else.
	What do you think?
	Well, Google just released their new...
	I think they're rolling it out.
	They have a new search engine behind everything called caffeine, which I think is to eliminate...
	The problem that Google has, which I complain about bitterly constantly, is that you can't find...
	You can't find anything.
	Yeah, all you find is the SEO'd crap that rises to the top that's selling you something.
	You can't find any information.
	Right, and the SEO thing's a moving target.
	Google goes in and they shut somebody down because they're pulling some stunt.
	Mahalo.
	Mahalo is a good example.
	And so then they don't show up anywhere anymore.
	But meanwhile, these guys have got countermeasures.
	So it goes back and forth.
	It's like a little war going on between the SEO guys who are a small cadre of people that observe this very closely.
	A lot of them are ex-Googlers, I might add.
	And Google itself is trying to eliminate the problem.
	But they can't.
	They have been unable to eliminate the problem because it's just too tricky.
	And so I can't find the best weed whacker.
	You know, if you're For the best weed whacker, I get just a bunch of commercial places selling weed whackers.
	I'm not finding the best one.
	No, and did you ever get your weed whacker?
	Yeah, I bought one whatever.
	It was on sale.
	All right, then I would like to wind up.
	We'll save your clip for Sunday.
	I will wind up with a very typical...
	Prediction, prediction, prediction.
	This will be the headline for the next week.
	This will be the question on everybody's lips.
	It will be an extra.
	It will be on Entertainment Tonight.
	Everyone will be asking the question, did Sarah Palin get a boob job?
	Oh yeah, I saw this one, yeah.
	Now you're the guy that usually will say Photoshop.
	No, no, this doesn't look like Photoshop.
	It looks like one of those fancy bras that you pump air into and the next thing you know you've got a big top.
	I've always thought she's hot, but then there's one picture, she has a not-so-hot-like arm.
	You know, she can be hot-looking.
	Yeah.
	She's photogenic, generally speaking.
	Yeah.
	I think it's when she's talking with that screechy voice.
	You've got to put a showerhead in her mouth, but otherwise...
	Otherwise, she's fine.
	You watch.
	This will be top of the news, I guarantee you.
	It might be.
	You could be right.
	I guess.
	It depends on if she's got a publicist or not pumping it.
	But you're right.
	It would be on Entertainment Tonight, Extra, Hollywood, Reinsider, and the 25 shows that are about nothing.
	Well, I have a leftover clip.
	We'll do it on Sunday.
	I want to remind people to go to Dvorak.org slash NA. I'm going to probably promote this for if you don't get our donation levels up.
	Well, I'll slip in some In the Mornings Monday on the Howard Stern Show.
	Yeah, definitely slip in some stuff on the Howard Stern Show.
	Plug the No Agenda Show.
	I'm going to offer him a job, obviously.
	Oh, yeah, do that.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's easy.
	I thought it was, you know, his commentary was so out of touch with modern reality.
	He has no idea what streaming is.
	He doesn't know what anything is.
	I mean, he used to be like an OS2 guy.
	Yeah, I remember that.
	An OS2 guy, yeah.
	But that was a big deal back then to be, you know, in that camp where you'd actually have a comment about it.
	And he just seems to have lost his, you know, he got that big bonus, a big pile of money, and then the next thing you know, he doesn't keep up with anything.
	He's out of it.
	I wonder how much money he actually got cash in hand.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, I know.
	These deals always sound good.
	When a press release comes out, it's a huge deal, but would you really get something else?
	Yeah, that is always the question, is how much it really was.
	But he got enough, I think, to stop keeping up.
	But it's going to be tough because I'm going to be on the phone, you know, then there's always a weird energy.
	He's going to laugh at me.
	He's going to say, you're full of crap.
	He's going to pull some...
	Yeah, you're going to be slammed.
	Yeah.
	There's no way to win other than to get an in the morning and noagendashow.com.
	And if I get that in, then it'll be worth it.
	But there's no way I can win.
	I mean, just listening to the clip of him, he's like, ah, that douchebag.
	Who cares about him?
	If you go to extremes with the guy, I've noticed that most effective people, you know, whatever he says is trying to, instead of denying or whatever, you go the other direction and make it even more exaggerated.
	Tell him we're making $10 million on the No Agenda show from user donations.
	Okay.
	Done.
	So we're making $10 million a year and we're ramping up.
	And we're just getting started.
	It's just bullshit.
	Here's my strategy.
	Howard, I was so surprised when you went to satellite.
	Satellite is not big enough for Howard Stern.
	You need the biggest network in the world.
	You are going to take home $10 million a month.
	I guarantee it.
	Right, yeah, go that way.
	Right, right, right, right.
	Let him prove you're wrong.
	Yeah, come on over.
	It's the internet.
	Explain to him what's going on.
	The world's changed.
	This is the way all broadcasting will be done eventually.
	Yeah, that I agree.
	You know, he's afraid.
	He's just afraid.
	He doesn't want to starve.
	He'd actually do really well on the net.
	Dude, he...
	I mean, he...
	Just get everyone to pay him $10 a month that like him.
	He'll take home $30 million a month.
	Are you kidding me?
	Yeah, no, he'd kick ass.
	Yeah, it's so easy.
	It's so easy.
	And then add a couple of GoDaddy codes and a couple of pre-rolls on the video stuff.
	The guy would be richer than Warren Buffett.
	Snapple.
	He would.
	Yeah, I know.
	Get off his ass and quit bullshitting everybody.
	I'll guarantee him $10 million a month.
	Take home pay.
	Right off the bat.
	We could do it easy.
	Yeah, well get the plug in.
	That's all I care about.
	Hell yeah.
	Yeah, we need some of that cash.
	Send us your cash.
	So we can continue and do more.
	Coming to you from the Hilltop Watchtower, Crackpot Command Center, and Gitmo Nation West, and the People's Republic of Southern California, where my butt cheeks are clenched, but we made it!
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And he'll be crapping in a minute.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.

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