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April 16, 2009 - No Agenda

01:29:53

89: Nuke the Gay Pirates

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Time	Text
	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	This is No Agenda.
	Hey everybody, it is time once again for No Agenda.
	It's Thursday, April 16th, 2009.
	Coming to you from the Crackpot Command Center in Gitmo Nation East, I'm Adam Curry.
	And why am I shouting?
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	It's Crackpot and Buzzkill!
	In the morning!
	Yowza!
	We've done it once again.
	We're on the air.
	You know, you shout your announcement.
	You've noticed that.
	Yeah, but I know why I'm shouting.
	So it's okay.
	Oh, see, I don't know why I'm shouting.
	Because I'm...
	I know.
	I'm the original puker.
	This is the radio that I'm used to making, which is why they invented the compressor limiter.
	Oh, for guys like you.
	Yeah, that's right, Johnny.
	That's just what it is.
	I think we've been through that before.
	But radio guys, those like 80s, 90s radio guys, even off the air, they talk like this to each other.
	It's like they're talking into a compressor limiter all the time.
	Hey man, how you doing?
	I hear that said on the radio, man.
	Yeah, well, I do know guys that over the years, you know, they went into broadcasting and then they end up with a trained voice.
	And they always talked with it.
	Yeah, man, because, you know, it's like, hey, baby, that's what we're doing.
	I'm Scott Shannon.
	In fact, there was a guy over at KCSM who was the station manager, and he got into the software business, and one time I was talking to him on the phone, and...
	I just heard his, you know, and he's talking to me on just a casual phone conversation.
	I said, have you been in broadcasting?
	Because he just, everything was just perfect.
	It's like when you talk to Leo Laporte.
	By the way, they find it complimentary if you mention that.
	Yes, of course.
	It's like talking to Leo Laporte off air.
	He talks the same way.
	Yeah, but he doesn't have an extremely over-emphasized...
	He has a trained voice, but it's not over-emphasized like some of these guys.
	Word sounds peculiarly outrageous.
	My wife really likes his voice.
	Leo's?
	Yeah, and I think she infers in a sensual way.
	Yeah, I think he's developed his voice specifically for that purpose.
	There you go!
	That, by the way, is why most of us ugly guys got into radio in the first place.
	There was rock band, no talent, radio!
	Yeah!
	I might get laid!
	Do you know, did I tell you that Lori Turner contacted me?
	Did I tell you about this story?
	No.
	Lori Turner, better known as LT, in West Virginia, when I went to school, we had a radio station.
	It was WITB, which officially stood for We're in the Basement.
	But of course, we all knew it really meant We're into Bong Hits.
	And it was a low-power FM station.
	I was running the station within like three months.
	But there was a DJ there, and she was a...
	I think she was a sophomore or junior.
	I can't remember.
	Lori Turner.
	And she was kind of this, you know, exactly the kind of girl I kind of like.
	A little tomboyish.
	And she had, you know, this of course was early 80s, so she had a little bit of streak of pink in her hair.
	And she was a good jock.
	And it was, you know, so we wound up having sex once.
	And the next day, she said, you know what?
	I think I'm lesbian.
	Ha!
	A story that very few guys would relate to anyone.
	My daughter loves this story, by the way.
	The only time I had sex in college is the next day.
	You know, hey man, I'm really digging chicks.
	And she dropped me a note the other day.
	She said, hey man, remember me?
	It's...
	LT, her name is different now, but she's still in radio and she's managing bands and she's still lesbian.
	It was great.
	I'm like, hey LT, how you doing?
	My 18-year-old daughter really likes that story.
	Yeah, that's a good one.
	So that's how it's going to go.
	Hey, by the way, we have a ton of new listeners.
	Well, they may not necessarily be new listeners, but a ton of people checking us out on the new No Agenda iPhone app, which apparently works quite well.
	Good.
	So it picks up the stream.
	It downloads the podcast.
	You can tweet to the stream.
	It has, I think, you can follow our Twitters.
	99 cents in the iPhone App Store, developed by a listener.
	And now what we're waiting for, of course, is the G-Phone No Agenda app.
	So what would somebody search for to find this app?
	No agenda in the iPhone store.
	I think you can also go to the direct URL. I had it somewhere here.
	Crap, I don't know.
	It's like a very logical...
	Here it is.
	iTunes.com slash app slash noagendamobile.
	There you go.
	Okay.
	Well, I'll make sure all that stuff's in the show notes.
	In the show notes.
	So I just got in.
	I just flew in from Portugal.
	And boy, are my arms tired.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	In the morning.
	It was beautiful when we left.
	It was a real bummer.
	Just absolutely stunning.
	You know, it looks a lot...
	The southern part, and of course we were only about 30k from Spain, it kind of reminds me a bit of California.
	Yeah.
	Are you kidding?
	It looks exactly like California.
	I wanted to be careful because you're the Californian on the show, but I'm driving through and I'm like, this is just like California.
	Another place I never would want to live.
	Nice to visit.
	You know, it's like, I think that's one of the reasons the Portuguese settled, especially around the San Francisco Bay Area, so many of them.
	I mean, I was raised in a town that was dominated by Portuguese at the time.
	Oh, makes sense, yeah.
	Newark.
	Well, wait a minute.
	Isn't San Francisco, wasn't he from Portugal?
	No.
	I don't know.
	I think it was actually an answer again.
	His name is Sam.
	Sam Francisco.
	Sam Francisco.
	Okay.
	So anyway, since I was essentially raised in a community of Portuguese, they were the dominant...
	Culture.
	I always thought they were, you know, didn't think much about it, to be honest about it.
	But I got this taste for the linguiça sausage, the one type of...
	The sausage that they make over there, and they also have a, they do a, I can't pronounce it, but they have a kind of a piece of, it's like a copa, only it's spiced the same way.
	Their meats, of course we went shopping since we'd rented a house.
	Their meats are outstanding.
	The fish, of course, Portugal, well known for its fish, but meat is just outstanding.
	I was pleasantly surprised.
	Oh, it's delicious.
	But anyway, so I got a taste for that stuff, and so I still, so when I was there like a couple months ago, and I noticed the same thing.
	The joke of it with me, of course, was I was, you know, in that same, kind of where you are, partially, not quite that far, but I was looking for cork trees, because it was, the whole country is, in fact, I saw a map, because I was taking a look.
	The whole country is corked.
	There's a smell to that place.
	I was taken to a cork factory and they showed me a map of all the major cork infested areas.
	Every cork tree is registered in Portugal.
	If you move into a house and you have a cork tree in your yard, you cannot take that tree down.
	And, of course, they're valuable because the cork on it, cork tree, contributes to a lot of money every time you pull the cork off every seven years or so.
	It takes like 45 years to get the thing to produce enough cork for the first time.
	Anyway, so we're driving around.
	I'm looking and looking.
	I say, I don't see any cork trees.
	All I see are these oak trees.
	And it looked like California oaks, the kind you'd see in Oakland.
	Completely.
	And then I saw that a lot of these oak trees had their bark removed.
	I'm thinking, what is wrong with it?
	Where's the corks?
	And so, as I mentioned, she says, you do know that a cork tree is an oak tree.
	Oh, really?
	See, I didn't know that.
	I didn't either.
	I was going, oh, no wonder!
	So I was just looking at all these, you know, it's called a cork oak, and it looks just like a standard oak tree.
	I mean, it's got the same exact outer bark.
	It's got that distinctive shape of an oak tree, which is really pretty.
	And they're all over the place.
	But they're not the kind of oaks we have.
	They're cork trees.
	But that makes me think that in California we could be growing these trees if we had a brain.
	Because we could sell cork?
	Well, I mean, it's just one of those things.
	They say it's like an annuity.
	If you had, like, a big cork farm, you know, it just keeps producing.
	It's just water.
	It's just an oak tree.
	You don't have to do anything.
	You just pull cork off of it and sell it.
	The whole place, I'm really, really digging it.
	I think I like the South of France when we went there.
	There is something special to it, and Portugal has really come of age.
	But particularly, this is the non-tourist part, which is the East Algarve.
	Right.
	In fact, we went into Olyau, which is about 8 kilometers from where we were, and they don't have an English newspaper.
	Forget about it.
	That just shows you the level of tourism.
	Of course, Faro, which is maybe 17 or 18 kilometers away, that's a proper city.
	But it's also nice, it's clean, it's unhurried, a lot of it's new because of all the European money they got.
	Yeah, they got a lot of European money and they built a lot of roads.
	And drugs are decriminalized, which was fabulous, I tell you.
	Well, it's decriminalized.
	I mean, they're not letting people sell it on the streets, but...
	No, no, no.
	But there's another article which I placed in the show notes about the success of that experiment, which has been ongoing for...
	Is that you or me?
	That's me, and let me just kill it while you're talking.
	Is it that guy again?
	Who is that mysterious man who calls you during almost every single show?
	Oh, this was good.
	I shouldn't have hung up.
	Good timing.
	Damn it!
	Well, I was listening.
	I said, oh, this is one of those.
	It was a recording.
	And it was a recording.
	Unfortunately, I can't get the phone to the mic anyway.
	But it was a recording.
	And I guess this is going out to everybody as we speak.
	You know, there's all these machines that are sending out these messages.
	It's getting kind of annoying.
	And some of them sound like somebody talking to you.
	But this one was, America, are you aware that there are tea parties happening all around the country?
	You too can take part.
	So this is like an orchestration for these...
	These protests, which I think, personally, this shows you that this is not so spontaneous.
	No, I mean, you know, if I were to set something up, John, if you and I had concocted a tea party, the last thing we'd be thinking is, yeah, let's get one of those things that political parties use.
	I mean, there's big muscle behind a lot of this.
	Something's going on.
	In fact, you know what this is, John?
	You know what?
	Frank.
	Frank.
	It wasn't loud enough.
	I couldn't hear it.
	Oh, crap.
	I'm sorry.
	Let me do it again.
	Fractal.
	Fractal.
	Is it still too low?
	Yeah, it's pretty low.
	Hold on.
	Let me just check it again.
	Is that better?
	Now you're talking.
	Now you're talking.
	Fractal of what?
	Well, first of all, the tea party is a fractal of the tea party.
	Yeah, well, I realize that.
	No, that's a fractal.
	It's kind of pointless.
	You know, I got a weird...
	I'm not quite sure about these tea parties.
	First of all, I don't like...
	It's like, yeah, you can cover a song by the Rolling Stones, but it's better if you have a new original song that is of these times.
	You know what I mean?
	The whole Tea Party meme really doesn't do it for me.
	Well, you know, I think it has only one benefit.
	The amusing discussion, which goes on and on and on, and even Rush Limbaugh did it, of the describing, trying to describe on the airwaves, teabagging.
	I think that, by the way, is the only good thing that's come out of this whole life.
	Like, White House gets teabagged.
	You know, like, alright, that's a good headline.
	Do you think if any mainstream newspaper wrote that, that would be pretty ballsy?
	As it were.
	Pun intended.
	In the morning.
	So you can go, folks, you can go to your urban dictionaries and look this up.
	It's kind of gross.
	Well, it depends on if you're doing the bagging or the teeing.
	You know, it's a matter of perspective.
	It depends.
	The point is that it's forced this term, which was fairly obscure, to come out and do the open because of the use of these jokers that keep using the teabagging terminology.
	It's just hilarious.
	But meanwhile, of course, I'm getting phone calls, as everyone witnessed, from an automated machine trying to get me to get involved with this crap.
	Is there anything really coming out of this?
	And so the idea is a tax revolt.
	I think, you know, I'm wondering who's really behind it.
	It's got to be a political party.
	They're the only ones that use these phone systems.
	Yes, but which political party?
	It could be either one.
	It could be the Democrats.
	It's all the same.
	It's all the same.
	I think it's the Democrats looking for pushback.
	They're trying to get, you know, make these...
	I'm disturbed by the whole thing.
	I wouldn't take part, that's for sure.
	I don't know who's behind it.
	Unless I know exactly what's going on, I'm not dealing with any of it.
	When I saw Glenn Beck being one of the main supporters of this whole teabagging, that's when the alarm bells went off in my head.
	I'm like, okay.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, no, I agree.
	Hey, can I just give you a...
	I'm sorry.
	Well, by the way, I want to remind everybody that we're two guys who are conservatives, so...
	At least.
	At least.
	Well, you're more, yeah, right.
	Crackpot conservative.
	It's a new fringe group.
	I did want to give you a quick review, mon frien, as we ate several times in La Lingerie Restaurant at Villamonte, which I told you about.
	Their sister restaurant has two Michelin stars, but that one's in Lisbon.
	So, of course, it doesn't count, but it was good.
	Actually, there were four things I wanted to mention to you quickly.
	First of all, pumpkin cream soup.
	I've had pumpkin soup before, but this pumpkin cream soup they made was just outrageous.
	The octopus carpaccio, which I guess is essentially raw octopus, right?
	Smashed.
	Smashed?
	Well, it was smashed.
	Wasn't it made into a carpaccio?
	No, it was sliced.
	Very thinly sliced.
	Oh, it wasn't like smashed?
	No.
	No, it was the actual tentacles sliced really thinly.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, that's basically octopus sushi, we'd call that.
	Yeah, but it was really thin, like carpaccio.
	They had an aperitif, which I'd never had before, which was really refreshing and nice.
	It was a white port.
	With tonic water and lemon.
	Have you ever had that?
	Well, I know there used to be a song, White Port and Lemon Juice, from the 50s.
	No!
	What do you mean, no?
	There's a song called White Port and Lemon Juice?
	Yeah, from the 50s.
	I'm trying to think of the band that did it.
	Hold on, let me go into my...
	I want to see if I can find this.
	In fact, I can hear the lyrics.
	White Port and Lemon Juice...
	Tastes good to me, I believe is one of the lines in that tune.
	What happened to my bra?
	Probably about 1958-59.
	I'll write that one down.
	And revisit it.
	Now, the last thing I wanted to mention...
	So, by the way, it's a very interesting combination.
	The white port with...
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, white port and lemon juice is very famous, obviously.
	And then the tonic water would add another bite to it.
	That would have to be a terrific...
	Yeah, and then a little...
	Now, as you mentioned, I feel like having one.
	Having one.
	Go make one right now.
	But you might want to wait.
	Because I'm going to whet your appetite even more.
	We had a bottle...
	Of the 2005 Vida Nova.
	Have you ever heard of the Vida Nova?
	No.
	Is that a Portuguese wine?
	It's a locally Portuguese Algarve produced wine by none other than Sir Cliff Richard.
	Oh yeah, you mentioned this in an email.
	And it was not bad, I have to say.
	Now, you know, the thing that I think is overlooked here, since when I was over there, I was being taken around by the government, so I got to, you know, I like to go to a winery.
	Oh, okay, let's go.
	Okay.
	So I got like a pretty good background.
	Next time the government takes you places, can I give you a couple of things to ask for?
	You know, like the command center, the shelter, the missile silos, you know, not just the winery.
	Well, I'd go for the big stuff instead of these crazy things that you were into.
	But anyway, so I got a lot of lectures about the wines, and I had a good number of wine tastings that were set up for me.
	And the wines from Portugal are fantastic.
	They're underpriced to an extreme.
	There's two or three vendors there that make terrific stuff outside of the...
	The northern part where the ports are made and the rest of the country could be growing wine.
	It's just like California.
	And I was actually stunned by the quality of a few of these wines.
	Stunned!
	I mean, I would drink these wines every day.
	And they're so reasonable.
	Yeah, I thought the Cliff Richard wine was a little overpriced.
	It was 48 euros.
	Granted, you're buying it in a restaurant.
	Just from the stuff that we've...
	We've had before, and my own experience now, it was maybe 15 to 20 euros higher than it should have been in price, but I'll chalk that up in the restaurant.
	Well, that's probably because it was probably a Cliff Richards wine, specifically for the British, you know, tourists.
	No, actually it wasn't.
	We were the only people in the restaurant, so I had a long conversation with the sommelier, because there's also a 2004, and then he has a port, and there's a whole bunch.
	So it wasn't just a, oh, let's have some Cliff wine type of choice, you know.
	Oh, well, that's what I would have expected, but okay, go ahead.
	Hey, John.
	Hey, John.
	Fuck you very much.
	There goes all our affiliate deals.
	There goes some affiliates.
	You've got to beat these things.
	So I've got a ton of news and stuff to go through.
	I might want to...
	Finish up with this wine store.
	The wine you thought was outstanding?
	I thought it was very, very good, yes.
	My wife liked it.
	The kids liked it.
	It was outstanding.
	And I was all kind of ready.
	Because I remember he was on...
	I think it was Hell's Kitchen with Gordon Ramsay, and Cliff was in the restaurant.
	Is that where the Red and the Blue team compete?
	I can't remember which show that is.
	Yeah, that's Hell's Kitchen.
	Hell's Kitchen.
	And they served wine, and they gave Cliff Richard three glasses, blind taste test, and said, you know, which one do you like the most?
	And of course, his own wine, he picked last.
	I didn't know if it was the exact same one that we had, but I was already all set to kind of hate it.
	But no, it was good.
	And he gets some reasonable props from the sommelier.
	And they had a good list.
	They had a big list.
	We have a Wikipedia entry.
	Oh, we do?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it's pretty cool.
	The whole history of the show.
	Really, how inaccurate is it?
	It's pretty accurate for what it is.
	Yeah, it's alright.
	Good.
	We have somebody, obviously one of our fans, because otherwise it would be a negative thing, doing it.
	And hopefully they'll dog it, like people do, and keep on the RSS feeds and make sure that some vandals don't show up.
	It's always the vandals.
	It's the vandals.
	It's coming in to screw things up.
	So I thought maybe we should start it right off.
	And now, back to real news.
	With some real news, John, because there is just too much real news to ignore today.
	Yeah, but it's all...
	It's all real.
	Yeah, well, I mean, it's real.
	What's real?
	The real news, this would be the news that everyone is watching and listening to.
	It's all about Ashton Kutcher competing with CNN for a million Twitter followers.
	I saw my wife and daughter glued to the television set as Madonna defends her adoption of yet another child.
	My God!
	And then Hugh Jackman pledges a $100,000 to a charity for the best idea on Twitter.
	My God!
	The best idea on Twitter.
	What is the world coming to?
	Who did they hire over there to get all this publicity?
	Well, Hugh Jackman actually said in, or this is what's in the article, Let me just bring it up here.
	He said that he kind of felt guilty because he had Twittered something incorrectly.
	I guess the name of the Sydney Opera House.
	I didn't know it was called anything different than the Sydney Opera House.
	And people gave him shit for it.
	And I guess this was kind of like, oh, you know, the PR. I can just see this PR bitch going, we really have to correct the situation.
	Because it's really going viral.
	It's really going completely out of control.
	So here's what I'm thinking.
	I'm thinking, you got $100,000.
	I mean, it's all tax-deductible anyway.
	So you give that away to the best idea that someone can tweet to you in under 140 characters.
	And it's like he's totally saying that someone else was Twittering because he said, oh, I made a mistake.
	It was someone else transcribed my tweet.
	He called in 140 characters.
	I relayed it over the phone.
	Like, you can't Twitter from wherever you are, douche!
	And, of course, the sad passing of Marilyn Chambers.
	Oh, I missed that one.
	Oh, yeah, very young, 56 years old.
	Marilyn Chambers, guys like me, I don't know about you, John, but we kind of grew up, that was the name, you know, Who would be today's version of Marilyn Chambers?
	I met her once.
	Really?
	Yeah, she was years ago when the CES show had an adult section down in the basement of one of the halls.
	I went down there to mosey around, and there she was, and I chatted with her for a few minutes.
	She looked like she...
	She was, you know, from a distance, she was still pretty, but she had a kind of, like, kind of a hard life look.
	So, Behind the Green Door was really the movie that, you know, similar to...
	Right, that was the big, big film.
	You know, I never saw that movie.
	It's funny, I met Marilyn Chambers, but I never saw her movie.
	But when you met her, did you say, I really admire your work?
	I just, you know, casually chatted with you.
	In Hollywood, that's what all these, oh man, it's so annoying when you meet an actor or, you know, and they say to each other the whole time, I really admire your work.
	Well, I really admire your ass.
	Sorry.
	Oh, man.
	Do you want to talk about pirates for a minute?
	Well, I think before we get it, there's one more real news item that we have to touch upon.
	I'm sorry.
	Hold on a second.
	And now, back to real news.
	Yes.
	And that is the Susan Boyle video that everybody's all worked up about.
	Let me hand the background in over this.
	I'm probably going to agree with what you're about to say.
	So Britain's Got Talent, and of course we follow this show religiously, my wife being the equivalent of Amanda Holden here.
	Who is it?
	Sharon Osbourne in the States and America's Got Talent?
	Yeah, I think so.
	Simon Cowell's show.
	And usually this is...
	The name of the show should be Britain Loves Losers, because that's what's so great about it.
	People come up, they juggle, they do bad magic acts, but it's funny, and it's cut very quickly, and it's total chewing gum for your brain.
	It's really good.
	And you know how I feel about these shows already.
	Oh, you hate them.
	And of course, I've told you, knowing what my wife does, that this stuff is, these shows are no accident.
	Okay?
	It's not like people just like watching talent shows.
	No, this is the absolute epitome of non...
	What do they call it?
	Non-scripted drama?
	Unscripted drama.
	Unscripted drama.
	Because drama is created.
	It's just not scripted.
	They really should say edited drama.
	And it's completely well done.
	And there's a lot of stuff that happens in the production process as well.
	And I think a lot of the show stands or falls by this.
	So...
	Out comes a contestant.
	It's one of the pre-rounds.
	I'm sure everyone's heard this by now, but for prosperity's sake.
	The lady is dressed like...
	The minute I saw her come out, I'm like, okay, watch this.
	Because I know how these shows work.
	But she was dressed like a house frow.
	She should have had her little apron on.
	And she looks like a dog.
	I'll just say it.
	Dog face.
	And she comes out and they do the little banter with the judges.
	And she's stumbling and she's not knowing what to do.
	And of course then the music starts.
	She opens her pie hole.
	And out comes...
	I had to convince myself that she was not lip syncing.
	It was from...
	Crap, what's the name of the musical?
	Les Miserables.
	Right.
	And it was just beautiful.
	And, of course, everybody goes crazy.
	I'll stop there because I think you need to jump in.
	All right.
	So I took a look at this and felt the same way.
	It's like, wow, that was pretty good.
	It was pretty cool.
	And then, of course, after watching it once, and, of course, it was on all over the place.
	I mean, there's about 30 versions on YouTube.
	And by the way, what really annoys me and got me kind of ticked off anyway was every single YouTube version of this has not embeddable.
	Not embeddable.
	So you couldn't embed it on your own website.
	Exactly why?
	I'm wondering who's the one that's not letting them embed it.
	And then Break.com apparently got a copy of it.
	Nobody called them.
	So you could embed it.
	So I embedded it on my blog.
	And after doing so, then I watched it and I just noticed the timing.
	All the cuts were perfect.
	She comes out.
	She starts to sing.
	Cut right away to Simon.
	Watch his eyebrows go up.
	I know for a fact that this whole thing was orchestrated by him, and I'm sure he said, put the camera on me as soon as she sings, and I'll do a real slow take.
	It'll be great.
	And then, of course, instead of everybody kind of being amazed at the same time, no.
	Then they cut to the next person, and she all of a sudden is amazed some five beats after Simon's amazed.
	And then five beats after that, the next guy, oh, he gets all jumpy.
	And then they have the two goofballs, these two idiots backstage.
	I don't know what the point of those guys are.
	Ant and Dec.
	Yeah, two boneheads that are kind of morons and nose pickers.
	And they're all jumping up and down and pointing and goofing around just right on cue.
	The whole thing was like so staged.
	I'm watching.
	I said, this is crap.
	And then, so I just casually mentioned it on my blog that I thought this was staged, and boy, the guys come out of the woodwork, it wasn't staged!
	You're an idiot!
	You know, I got notes from people, this is the real deal, and it goes on and on and on.
	Somebody linked To a website in her hometown where she was actually interviewed on camera.
	And she was wearing a conservative outfit, but it wasn't anything as frumpy as that crazy dress.
	And her hair looked a lot different.
	And I think that they made her eyebrows bigger than they are just to make the whole thing more comedic.
	And I was just...
	I thought she sung great and she was fantastic and I thought it was very sweet.
	But at the same time, the way that the public lapped this up as though it really happened and it wasn't orchestrated and staged to show how stupid the public is in general is what disgusted me.
	And that's what I pointed out in the blog.
	And then it just got worse when these commenters were just so defensive about the fact that I think the thing was a bunch of bullshit.
	Well, so you are right.
	It is totally staged.
	It's all set up.
	Cowell was in on it for sure.
	Probably the other judges as well.
	The production totally dressed her.
	The eyebrows, I'd have to look at that.
	That's interesting.
	I'll see if you can send me the clip of her being interviewed in her hometown.
	Yes, actually, if you go to the blog and go down to the comments, I've embedded the video within the comments of her.
	Now, so all of that said, we know that you are not a fan of this type of programming, and you know that I am.
	In fact, my next aircraft will come from this type of programming, so I'm quite happy with it.
	But you have to admit, if you can get beyond being so stupid that you fall for it, The whole experience is kind of like sitting on the couch, drinking the beer, and getting a nice slow blowjob.
	You know what I mean?
	I'd rather get the blowjob.
	In the morning!
	I am so happy we're separated by 8,000 miles.
	But I didn't want it from you.
	Oh.
	So, back up a second.
	What do you mean you're getting your next airplane?
	Well, do you know how much money my wife is making?
	Oh, right.
	I thought you were going to do another reality show or something.
	No, no, no.
	They did ask us.
	Oh, by the way, we found the perfect show for Patricia.
	The perfect show for her to do.
	It's called...
	Oh, crap.
	It's an English show, so it's an English format.
	Something...
	I think it was like Disgusting Bodies or...
	Basically, it's people who have all kinds of weird shit with their body, and they go to the doctor.
	And of course, these people have been living under severe stress, and there's a nice host, female host, and she's taking care of the, which my wife is great at, kind of the mental aspect.
	Patricia will look at any wound, orifice, whatever it is, and she's very interested, and she is a white witch, so she can heal.
	But then they go to plastic surgeons, whatever, and And they just show amazing stuff.
	Amazing things that people have wrong with their body.
	Or wrong, what's normal.
	Who wants to watch this kind of thing?
	John, this is blockbuster stuff, man.
	And this is what television is going to become.
	So I might as well profit from it while on the other side we're doing something good.
	And I'm saying we.
	Big word.
	I mean, everything is in my wife's name.
	She's making all the money.
	So I just better be quiet and carry her suitcases and shut up.
	Well, as long as you get the airplane, what kind of plane are you thinking about?
	I'm thinking about a...
	I still want to...
	I don't want a turban, but a turboprop, so either a King Air...
	You want or you don't want a turbo?
	No, I want a turboprop, not a...
	Not a, you're right.
	Not a turbine, a jet.
	Right, you want a turboprop, right.
	Which, incidentally, uses jet fuel.
	Yeah, it's a jet concept.
	It's just, yeah, jet fuel.
	So it has a propeller.
	But you can go to less places with a jet.
	And if you get, like, a King Air, you know, then there's a couple of...
	Extra destinations you get, which are a little bit cooler than all the big airports.
	And it's very fast.
	It's almost as fast.
	It goes 350 knots, you know.
	So it's spiffy.
	So this has two engines.
	A twin engine and a restroom.
	Which is a hole in the back.
	Yeah, you've always wondered what that hole is for.
	Let me...
	There was a very interesting...
	I guess a radio show.
	I'm looking for it now.
	And there was a call-in.
	Hold on a second.
	Let me bring up the audio.
	And the person who's calling in declares that the Department of Homeland Security is literally shipping in live bird flu all over the country, and of course this is going completely unreported.
	And I wanted to play a little bit of that audio.
	Hold on.
	I've got a new system that I'm working on for keeping track of my notes and stuff.
	Hold on a sec.
	Here it is.
	I'm playing it straight from the YouTube page, so it starts off without...
	It starts off with a lot of, like, spread this video now.
	Here it is.
	We have some actual proof that a trucker may actually be transporting bird flu.
	We have a federal agent who is aware, who has taken the documents to many agencies, including New York State Police, the FBI in many, many states, infections controlled disease, and what this trucker reported was that he works for Department of Homeland Security, He's a Spanish man who is trucking an independent truck.
	He goes down to the corner of Broadway and Clinton in Albany, New York at the Department of Homeland Security facility every single evening for loads.
	He said there are Ray Warren Flanagan's and J.B. Hunt trucks ahead of him loading, that he has taken loads from a silo above Glens Falls.
	His truck actually was lowered into the ground into a silo when the truck came out of the ground.
	He was given a shot in his arm to protect his family.
	He transported ice, refrigerated loads to the Pentagon, Baltimore, Maryland, Tucson, Arizona.
	So it goes on and on.
	Sounds like it.
	But this is from the power hour.
	I don't know what that is.
	Who knows.
	So what's the credibility factor here?
	What do you think?
	I give it a seven.
	Can you turn on your speakers just a tad there, John?
	Here we go.
	I give it about a seven on credibility.
	I've got to get the checkbox out and make sure that you...
	Everyone have a drink.
	I've asked for the speakers.
	Turn down your radio.
	Hello, caller.
	Caller, can you turn on your radio just a little bit?
	The power hour.
	So it goes on.
	It's pretty detailed.
	And I like the whole, you know, the truck goes down into a silo on an elevator.
	I like that bit.
	I think that sounds dramatic, overly dramatic.
	I'm not buying it.
	Well, okay.
	Jesus, man.
	Still so loud, your speakers.
	Really?
	Let me just move the mic back a little bit.
	Two words.
	Headphones.
	You know, I used headphones up at the house.
	Yeah, it was wonderful.
	It was great.
	I could talk sexy to your wife and you couldn't hear a thing.
	Yeah, well, it's not going to happen again.
	Is she mad at me?
	She's not mad at me, is she?
	No, no, she was...
	She's protruded.
	But she's going to be down here, by the way, at the end of the month when you're here, and she says you should take her and her friend who's visiting from England.
	They live in Cornwall.
	Oh, Cornwall is where all the crop circles are.
	Yeah.
	You should take the two of them to dinner so they can harass you.
	And what's her friend's name?
	Teresa.
	She's actually...
	Is she hot?
	She teaches because she's married to a harmonica player who's somewhat famous.
	Nothing to see here.
	What?
	Toots Stillamons?
	Is she married to Toots?
	No.
	And Mitt Gammon.
	And so...
	Like, I know who the hell that is.
	Well, he used to play with, like, Ian Dury and all these...
	Oh, really?
	He's a British guy.
	You say Ian.
	I thought it was Ian.
	It could be.
	I say a lot of things wrong.
	Like, like, vegin.
	I say vegin.
	I mean, you know, which is not what they are.
	They're vegans.
	Well, the new thing is freegans.
	Oh yeah, no, we have the freegan problem here.
	You mean the freegan issue?
	The freegan problem.
	Freegans.
	This is people who eat free food.
	I think we talked about this a couple months ago on the show.
	Yeah, we did.
	We did.
	We did.
	And it's like one guy I mentioned, I'll mention it again, some professor at Cal, you know, is a freegan, and he's just talking about all this waste.
	You know, the guy's got plenty of money, he can go buy stuff, but he's scrounging through, and my wife is upset about this whole thing because there are people who actually need to scrounge through these things to survive.
	Yeah, these people don't need to.
	Yeah, so why are they doing it?
	They're taking the food away from the poor is what they're doing.
	Seriously.
	Yeah, you're right.
	It's ridiculous.
	Putting them at a disadvantage, yeah.
	That's a good point.
	I buy that.
	Anyway, where were we?
	Well, you know how if you buy futures, such as if you buy oil, you buy it on paper.
	Yeah.
	We're buying something for later delivery.
	Right.
	But if you just let it run out, eventually someone's going to show up with that oil on your doorstep.
	Only if you fulfill the contract.
	Right.
	Well, apparently Lehman Brothers had 450,000 pounds of yellow cake Futures.
	However they had it, they now have it.
	Because Yellow Cake, the price kind of like just dived, and so there was no market for it, so now they're literally sitting on 450,000 pounds of Yellow Cake.
	Lehman Brothers.
	And I'm assuming this isn't the cake you eat.
	No, this is what, you know, the uranium.
	Yeah, uranium.
	You can make, I guess you can make nuclear bombs from this stuff.
	Well, maybe they should sell it to Iran.
	Isn't the yellow cake what we went to Iraq for?
	Yeah.
	Well, no, because somebody was, they were trying to get yellow cake, and we had it documented.
	But shouldn't we go to war with Lehman Brothers?
	They got yellow cake, man.
	I think we did go to war with Lehman Brothers.
	That's why they're out of business.
	That's just nuts.
	That is absolutely nuts.
	The G20, you know, they had this, of course, the big show here in London, and so many things have happened around this G20 that was not reported at all that we've been talking about on this very program, such as the Black Sabbath, but also all of the...
	You laugh, my friend, but I know you're not really happy.
	So one of the main things that came out of the G20 show, which they put on in London, was no more tax havens.
	Because you have all these islands, Guernsey and Jersey, and of course you have famously Monaco and the Bahamas, but of course we have Switzerland.
	So this was the big thing.
	It's like, stop it, no more tax havens.
	And this was kind of one of the big things that came out of it.
	It was the climax of the show.
	So the OECD, who's responsible for the organization for economic cooperation and development, they published the blacklist of these tax havens.
	And guess how many were on the list?
	I don't know, 10,000?
	None.
	The list is completely empty.
	You look at their website, it's like there's no listings at this time.
	Just none?
	None.
	There are no tax havens.
	No, there's no tax havens that are outlawed.
	They were going to publish the blacklist.
	They published a list of zero.
	I wonder what the deal was with that.
	Was this some sort of extortion thing to get people to get the tax statements to cough up some money?
	No, because the only publication that picked up on this, because of course the only publication that would do some research and go and check it out, which apparently can just be done on this thing called the internet, was the German Spiegel magazine, who do a lot of excellent reporting.
	That's why, because it's a show.
	It's fake.
	Simon Cowell should be hired to run this thing.
	Who says Simon Cowell isn't running it?
	I tell you, sometimes I wonder.
	I don't have any proof, but I was just guessing.
	Yeah, but you wouldn't be surprised, would you?
	Nope.
	Did you have notes?
	Because I can just go on and on, darling.
	Well, no, I'll tell you this much.
	What I'm doing for the listeners out there, and I want them to appreciate this, is that when we start to go off to another topic and then we interrupt and then we get off the road and we're bouncing around with four-wheel drive on, I can return us to the...
	To the road.
	And I'm going to do it right now.
	You said you want to talk about pirates.
	Yes.
	And we haven't done that.
	Let's go there.
	Okay, so...
	Because I have some thoughts on the pirates.
	Thank you.
	First of all, there was a fantastic picture.
	And I don't know if it's shopped or not.
	It's from a Chinese...
	Chinese news website of thousands of porpoises.
	I don't know if you saw this.
	Thousands of porpoises.
	This story is unbelievable.
	They're literally blocking the pirates from getting to one of these ships that they want to hijack.
	And it's just beautiful.
	Is that photoshopped or is it for real?
	This is reminiscent of a lot of Asian mystique mythologies that are created.
	They've been created over the years.
	There are Japanese experts at this.
	There are stories about how somebody was going to take over.
	A big army of flotilla was coming in.
	But then just a storm out of the blue that no one expected came and washed them away.
	There's all these kinds of...
	This type of supernatural stories that protect these cultures somehow.
	I think when I first heard that story, it was the first thing I thought of.
	I think this is a cultural bunch of malarkey.
	The dolphins all of a sudden come up and they save the Chinese vessel because we're in tune with the animal world.
	I don't know what the point of it is, to be honest, but I think it's a crock.
	Well, yeah, I have to agree.
	Let's start out this conversation with a quote from St.
	Augustine.
	Is he on the ship?
	Your timing is so beautiful.
	In the City of God, St.
	Augustine tells the story of a pirate captured by Alexander the Great.
	The emperor angrily demanded of him, How dare you molest the seas?
	To which the pirate replied, How dare you molest the whole world?
	Because I do it with a small boat, I am called a pirate and a thief.
	You, with a great navy, molest the world and are called an emperor.
	St.
	Augustine thought the pirate's answer was, Elegant and excellent.
	And then he shot him.
	Well, yeah, two to the head and placed the gun in his hand.
	Yeah, suicide.
	So I really do want to stress that what the media is doing now is...
	This makes me sick to my stomach when...
	No one is doing a single bit of background on what is happening, why these pirates are hijacking these ships.
	What is the story behind it?
	And there are a few publications, links in the show notes, that explain what is systematic.
	These guys, they're fishermen.
	They're fishermen who have been, their waters have been poisoned, their fish has been fished away from their waters, sold by their own government to foreign corporations.
	And they're desperate.
	They don't know what to do.
	The only thing they can do is this.
	It is the most human form of terrorism by desperation, by massive desperation.
	And what's going to happen is we're going to send our army over, our navy over there.
	Army would be a cool one.
	We'll send our navy over there, and we're going to start blowing these fuckers out of the water.
	And we're going to lose ships, too.
	Because these guys, they'll strap torpedoes.
	They'll strap an AK, you know...
	One of those RPGs to the front of their rubber boat if they have to.
	They are desperate.
	And the world is standing by like it's freaking Johnny Depp who's there going, hey, screw it.
	Let's kill Johnny Depp, man.
	Screw that motherfucker.
	Let's get him.
	Because that's what they are.
	They're old Johnny Depps, man.
	Screw you.
	No, this is a sad, sad, sad story.
	Well, I mean, the one thing that's interesting, I don't know whether, to be honest about it, I don't know whether it's a sad story or not, because from what I can tell, I'm not getting the story, which is kind of what you're saying.
	But it's like, what is the story?
	And the fact is, it's like, I was watching it last night on one of the local news channels, all over the world, they were so serious.
	And then they show these clips, I don't know where these clips are coming from, but one pirate or another standing here and standing there, always holding a gun up in the air as though they were like shooting in the air.
	They look like you have shots from the Seminese Liberation Army back in the late 60s.
	Yeah, file footage.
	I love it.
	Yeah, exactly.
	We have shaky, shaky file footage of pirates.
	Yeah, it's just a bunch of stock footage.
	And so then they cut back to the end of the story, which is not a story because they don't tell us any real details.
	And it goes back to the anchor.
	On this station, I didn't know who it was, but I just remember I wrote the quote down.
	He seriously looks back at the reporter and says, Well, this is not a battle we can ignore.
	Oh.
	I think, what the hell are you talking about?
	We could ignore it.
	Why don't they just go around?
	I mean, go further out?
	I mean, we're having...
	I don't know.
	The whole thing is just poorly covered, and we don't know what the heck's going on, and nobody wants to go there.
	Well, we do know what the heck is going on, because it's...
	Well, yeah, no, the country's a mess.
	The country's a mess, yes.
	Yeah, you're right.
	That's what's going to happen.
	We're going to send a big, you know, a few destroyers over there.
	Get some practice in.
	You've got to get practice once in a while.
	These Somali pirates are totally being, what's the word?
	They're being set up to become target practice.
	That is exactly right.
	The media is setting them up.
	We're all setting them up.
	It's going to be this one big joke as we start blowing up pirates out of the water.
	And these pirates will win from time to time.
	They will blow up one of our ships.
	It's so crazy.
	But in the meantime, we put together huge telethons of comic relief to buy mosquito nets for people who have malaria.
	And the whole country is so friggin' out of control that the only thing that its inhabitants can do out of desperation is go out and hijack the shit.
	That's all they can do.
	And no one cares.
	It just boggles the mind.
	Wake up!
	And then they captured this captain, and then the big news is Obama gave him to go ahead.
	Oh, jeez.
	It's like somebody says, just kill him, kill him.
	So the snipers, these, you know, sharpshooters.
	Why the sharpshooters are on the ship is beyond me, because I, you know, I guess everybody needs a bunch of sharpshooters on your ship.
	But they have three, apparently three sharpshooters on board, because everybody needs sharpshooters on their ship.
	Of course.
	Hey, we need some in our armor.
	These three teenage kids who are probably, you know, 13 years old, and they bang, they blow the three of them, if the story's even true.
	Like, boom, right in the head.
	Boom, done.
	If the story's even true.
	So there's a couple of really good articles that you'll find in the show notes.
	Lessons from the Barbary Pirate Wars, pirates attack.
	I guess there was a new attack that failed to get aboard.
	What the media is not telling us about Somali pirates, colon, Africa is a country.
	I like that.
	That's a great headline.
	And you are being lied to about pirates is another great article.
	And it gives you the background.
	And you might want to consider...
	Telling your friends that some of this is just freaking crazy, and we've got to have a little compassion for people.
	I'm just saying.
	So the next thing that's going on in the news is they go into this, apparently they've categorized right-wingers as hate groups.
	And they're starting to promote the idea that one of the reasons that they want everybody coming back from Iraq to be registered as a potential terrorist is a new term that I'm noticing, and you're going to start hearing this out there, homegrown threats.
	Yes.
	Homegrown terror.
	I've heard that one a lot already.
	Yeah, and it always refers back to the 1993, let me see, how many, 15, 16, 16 years ago?
	The 1993 bombing in Waco by those two characters of the federal building.
	Yeah, don't get me started on that.
	I don't want to get into it.
	It's too weird.
	But the point is, terrorism that we're supposed to be fighting is not homegrown.
	So why is it all of a sudden becoming high priority?
	Because we need to roll out the civilian army that is just as powerful and well-funded as our overseas army, according to President Obama.
	So we need to get that shit kick-started, because we've got homegrown terror, baby.
	A newly unclassified Department of Homeland Security report PDF link in the show notes warns against the possibility of violence by unnamed, quote, right-wing extremists concerned about illegal immigration, increasing federal power, restrictions on firearms, abortion, and the loss of U.S. sovereignty and singles out returning war veterans as particular threats.
	So that's the whole story.
	And by the way, that laundry list is a conservative checklist that everyone from Pat Buchanan to Ann Coulter to everybody in between would be on that list because they're all pretty much, except there is some flexibility on the abortion issue.
	But generally speaking, they do want American sovereignty.
	We don't want to be using the Amero.
	And most of them are against excessive gun control.
	And on and on and on.
	So how are these people, who are probably half the country or more, generally speaking, the Americans are a conservative bunch.
	Which means almost everybody in the country would be on the terror watch list because of that checklist.
	It's just so bogus.
	I can't believe that they're getting away with doing this.
	You know, I read a couple reports that Ann Coulter is actually a transsexual.
	Yeah, I know.
	She supposedly, the way the rumor has it, she was once a transsexual...
	Singer?
	Was she a performer?
	Pole dancer.
	Pole dancer, right.
	Well, as a transsexual, she's kind of hot.
	No, seriously.
	She keeps her figure.
	Ha ha ha!
	In the morning!
	Ha ha ha!
	There's nothing like coming home to a classic Dvorak.
	So, I don't think she is, to be honest about it, but it's a funny story.
	People hate her.
	By the way, I've heard her give a, because I, unlike, you know, when you go, I went to a big university, and one of the things you get used to, and this is why I kind of recommend people, I don't have a problem with large auditorium.
	You take a class and you go to Wheeler Auditorium at the University of California, the The auditorium at the time, there was a whole like 900 people.
	So many people were in the class and you'd listen to these lectures by people who knew how to give a lecture.
	And these great lecturers are in these big universities and they've talked to a large audience, which makes it even more interesting.
	And so I've always enjoyed...
	Big lectures into large audiences.
	And so I listened to them to this day because now they have them on the Dish Network.
	You get to listen to one or another and we talk about them on the show.
	But one of the things I heard...
	Only I heard it on a podcast.
	It was Ann Coulter giving a speech to, I think, UC Santa Barbara or someplace.
	And I have to say, she gives a really great speech.
	I was stunned.
	It was very well presented.
	It was conversational.
	It wasn't somebody reading from a sheet.
	You were getting more than just the soundbite version.
	And you got to hear her whole thought process, and I wasn't expecting it, to be honest, because I think she's just a phony in a lot of ways, because she's always just trying to get attention to sell her books.
	But when you listen to her talk for 45 minutes to an hour in a succinct way, it's like, wow, this is interesting.
	And she makes a lot of good points.
	Typically, liberals out there won't listen to anybody but their own...
	Their own kinko.
	And so they miss out on some of the very interesting, unique...
	They should listen to people like her so they can see what they're doing wrong.
	Anyway.
	Listen to lectures, folks.
	That's what I'm saying.
	Kids, listen to lectures.
	We should make a t-shirt, John.
	That's a great t-shirt.
	Listen to lectures.
	That's why they're called lectures.
	It's wholesome.
	Now, okay, I got one more point here to bring up.
	This is back to real news.
	Oh, I'm sorry, yes.
	And now, back to real news.
	So I'm watching...
	The CSI New York, last night.
	Which doesn't cut it with the Vegas version, by the way.
	Oh, no, no, it doesn't.
	But I like Gary Sinise.
	I think he's a really fun actor to watch.
	He's a good actor.
	Agreed, yeah.
	And this one was really hyped because it had a guest star.
	I forgot his name, but he's a TV actor of some repute.
	And who's playing an evil...
	He's kind of playing a Murdoch character.
	And the whole thing was this ludicrous...
	I wish people could see this again when it shows as a repeat.
	Essentially, the story revolved around a missing flash drive, actually a thumb drive, that some fixer had put a bunch of data on that had to do with all kinds of horrible things that were going on in the city of New York.
	And the FBI was after the flash drive.
	Everybody was after this flash drive.
	And the whole story revolves around trying to get this flash drive, which is eventually destroyed at the end through a weird coincidence of it bouncing through a grate over the subway, hitting the platform, and then falling exactly on the track and staying there as the train ran over.
	On the third rail.
	That's ridiculous.
	But the joke of it was they had the flash drive and it was in police evidence.
	Nobody ever copied the flash drive.
	But they looked at it, but they didn't copy it, which makes no sense.
	And then when it went to this guy, who apparently shot somebody to get a hold of it, and they never copied it.
	And I'm thinking, are they trying to tell the public that these flash drives, which is just volatile memory in some form, you can't...
	Why wouldn't you take the flash drive, copy all the data onto something, and then bury that somewhere, and then just erase this thing?
	It was the stupidest...
	Plotline, obviously written by somebody who doesn't know anything about technology, and then fed to a public that must have been befuddled by this story, because I think 90% of the people watching this knew better.
	So that feeds nicely into actual news, because of course, shows like CSI are just, and we've talked about this, in my opinion, they're probably funded in some way through some backdoor, through some government services.
	It's It just has to be because it's conditioning.
	It's to make you ready for what you actually should be as a slave and how you should behave and all this stuff that CSI can do.
	You just behave, shut up, and work, and buy.
	That's basically it.
	Because what's really going on, how all this...
	So we talk about sensitive data on a thumb drive.
	Who knows what it was?
	But this happens in the UK all the time because, of course, this is a country that is really a decade ahead of the United States.
	Our National Health Service has been going into electronic mode.
	It's been a multi-billion pound project, deemed a clusterfuck, for lack of a better term.
	This is a fantastic article, actually a whole website, by Dave DeBronckart.
	And I guess he calls himself Blogger Dave.
	And Google Health launched and his records are online.
	Somehow Google Health has to do with it.
	So he's able to access his information.
	And what he finds out, what he uncovers, is that the way that your health information is conveyed is through insurance codes.
	And there's tens of thousands of these insurance codes, and they change all the time.
	So it's like one big metafile.
	The insurance industry, and I presume in connection with the pharmaceutical industry, they maintain it.
	But it's literally insurance codes, because it's as good as gold.
	It's all about the money.
	These treatments that the guy had had and some conclusions that were made from these insurance codes were, A, likely to get him killed because of different combinations that are just not apparent by combining these codes that are meant for insurance purposes, but also he was deemed schizophrenic when he was puking his guts out from chemotherapy.
	There's all these things that are incorrect because the way they're doing it, folks, is through the insurance industry's data, not through like a doctor language that says, hey, you know, I examined Mr.
	Dvorak, and yeah, you know, it's an ingrown toenail, but he seems in pretty good demeanor, and he's kind of a funny guy, although he's a bit of a buzzkill.
	That shit's not going to be in the database the way you think doctors are speaking to each other.
	So, they just want you to focus on, ooh, my data's going to get lost, instead of the obvious, which is, this is money.
	These codes are money, John.
	It's a whole new trading system backed on our health.
	Dude, I'm so baked.
	You better interrupt me now.
	I'm so baked.
	You're just baked all the time.
	You don't sound it.
	That's what's interesting.
	That's what's kind of frightening.
	That's cool.
	So anyway, well, let me tell you, I got an anecdote then that was just kind of interesting, because insurance companies are behind a lot of weird stuff.
	So I got a speeding ticket last year, and I don't know if I told the story publicly, but I told all my friends.
	It's quite amusing.
	Excluding this friend, but okay.
	I think I may have told you the story.
	Okay.
	You don't remember a lot of things I tell you, but I think I did, actually, over one of the dinners.
	Hello, kettle.
	Pot calling.
	It's the 80s again.
	What?
	What did you just say?
	You need the pot calling kettle.
	We need the theater.
	Yeah, we do.
	We do.
	Even in the morning for it.
	That's all I got.
	Because people are going to get sick in the morning for everything.
	So, anyway, I figured, you know, I don't want to really get marks against my insurance, so I took traffic school.
	And so I signed up.
	I did a little yelping and found some, you know, real easy to deal with one day traffic school in Chinatown, Oakland.
	So I go in there, and I'm just saying, this guy's kind of a stiff, but he's pretty much delivering a, you know, just a bunch of information.
	But then he goes on a rampage about the insurance companies and about how these marks work, and with a bunch of very weird inside information about how you can get two marks for driving on the wrong side of the road if they want to give you a certain kind of a ticket information.
	And how if you're trying to get your insurance rates lowered, that there is a clearinghouse, which seems like semi-illegal, but there's some sort of a data clearinghouse that he explained in great detail, that if you keep jumping insurance companies, they will still stop insuring you.
	Right.
	They don't want you doing this.
	And he goes on and on with all kinds of weird stuff like that.
	I'm thinking to myself, I don't know what this has got to do with driving, but it's fascinating.
	I leave to go to lunch.
	I come back.
	The place, the classroom, which is in Chinatown, is cordoned off with police things, and it's a crime scene.
	Apparently, the guy who was given the course was arrested and hauled off for reasons unknown to me.
	I saw the two, there were two undercover cops, because they were both there.
	I saw them.
	They were in the class, taking the class.
	And the guy, and I asked him, what happened?
	What was the deal?
	He said, well, you know, we had to arrest them for something, and he's just vague.
	He didn't say, you know, fraud or something.
	And so they were, which is like, why don't you wait until the class was over?
	Because, you know, at least, you know, we could get, finish the damn thing, and say, no, and they, they, then the state...
	I think it was either the state of California.
	Then they gave us a little thing to fill out so we'd get a check in the mail for what we paid for this class.
	And I did get a check like a month later.
	And I thought the whole thing was rather peculiar.
	But I still had to take this class again.
	And I found an online class to take, which was very thorough.
	And I did it online, and I noticed that pretty much what the online course was teaching was exactly what this guy was teaching, exactly, except for this extra information that this guy kept, you know, railing about, you know, about the insurance company and some of the other weird stuff that, you know, that has to do with how you drive.
	Right.
	I'm just shaking my head.
	Well, you know, that's interesting.
	I took a few photos of the crime scene, but I was irked.
	It was a waste of my whole day.
	I like it.
	A typical John C. Dvorak moment.
	That's why I stay home.
	Ha ha ha!
	Hey, a little follow-up from the aviation world.
	Big, big, big articles in Dutch newspapers, and I heard the reports just as I was going on vacation, I think, but now the big newspaper caught on to it, and I'm sure that they're publishing some disinformation in the morning.
	The Turkish Airlines crash, apparently, remember we had those six Boeing employees who were on board, who were all involved in the special new AWACS version of Radar 737s?
	I'm sorry, yeah, 737s, the exact type that crashed.
	Remember this?
	I think it was a 757, wasn't it?
	No, no, no.
	737-400.
	No, 800.
	It was an 800.
	So this is the plane that the Turkish army, they've built like this kind of like, it's like a dildo on the back of the fuselage, kind of like a cigar-type dildo.
	I come into Boeing Field when I'm flying to and from Port Angeles, and I fly over these planes, because this is where Boeing does their testing, their flight testing.
	And there's a new look, because they have all these AWACS planes there, but there's a new looking one that I looked at two or three times, and I go, what is that thing?
	And they had two or three of them sitting there.
	Yeah, so that's the kind of dildo thing.
	So the six engineers...
	No, I'm sorry.
	Four engineers, three of who died.
	There is one, I don't know what his condition is, but one of them is still alive.
	There are only six people that died.
	No.
	Was it six people who died on the flight?
	It was a relatively low number.
	A lot of people severely injured, but a low number.
	But most of the Boeing employees, and these were the guys who were working over there for the Turkish Armed Forces, setting up these dildos.
	And their laptops and other documents were taken from the plane prior to the investigation and sent back to Boeing.
	Hello?
	I wonder if anybody helped with their demise, too.
	Well, this is when you've got three pilots in the cockpit, which, by the way, can be to your disadvantage, depending on what they're doing.
	One of them, 26-year Air Force veteran, which doesn't necessarily mean he's a great pilot or not.
	It means that he's been trained.
	He's part of the system.
	Anyway, who knows?
	I'm just reporting it.
	Because you'll never hear about that.
	We'll never know what any of that was about.
	I wouldn't say we'll never know.
	I mean, we can surmise, I'm sure.
	Well, maybe we will.
	But I doubt it.
	You never know.
	So anyway, this is the kind of information, like I said, by the way, what we did for soliciting money last week, I think backfired, saying that if you give us money, we'll get off the air.
	Oh really?
	I thought it was such a good idea.
	Well, I think there's probably a few people that thought it was a good idea, but it wasn't, so we're not going to do that.
	We're not going to ever stop doing this show.
	Because otherwise we'll never get anywhere.
	We're going to get to the three shows, that's for sure.
	We need to stock the Armory, and we need to get our Knights of the No Agenda Armory up and running.
	Yeah.
	So we got some, a few, we just listed a few people I want to mention.
	It's also that I finally, the guy who I really forgot to mention, sent me a note immediately after the show, and of course now it's buried in my email box, he has to do it again.
	I guess we have to stop meeting this way.
	Yeah.
	That's the only thing you have to do is these emails, and you're always messing it up.
	I mean, I don't want to be a complainer or anything.
	It's because it's all in the cloud.
	It's in the cloud.
	I hate the cloud.
	Well, then don't use the cloud, dude.
	Use Outlook.
	Use, here's what he has to do.
	If it's the subject line, donation forgotten, that way I can find it.
	That's the problem.
	Subject lines, people do not take advantage of something like that.
	Can I just ask you one question?
	Is it not possible to search your email?
	I don't understand.
	Do you know the guy's name?
	Believe me, it just chokes.
	What do you mean it just chokes?
	What cloud are you using?
	The choke cloud?
	If I search the body, it takes forever.
	I can't get it.
	Have you ever tried this little thing called Gmail?
	That's what the search-based email is all about, John.
	This will change your life.
	We got a bunch of people sending us $20.12, and then we got $19.89.
	What does that refer to?
	$19.89?
	Hmm.
	$9.891?
	I don't get it.
	$9.17 and $9.26.
	That was a stumper.
	Well, I've got to think about that one.
	Then 1337?
	What happened in 1337?
	No, no, that's Leet.
	As in Elite.
	Oh.
	I get it, I get it.
	It's Haxor.
	Yes!
	Hey, I got that one right off the bat.
	Me and my command line skills.
	I'm getting Leet, baby.
	That's cute.
	Okay, that's very cute.
	That's a very good one.
	1985?
	I don't know, it's a good year for something.
	Good year for Porto, by the way.
	Good year for the Roses.
	999?
	Well, that's 666 upside down.
	Ah!
	Dude!
	Man, I'm slow on the drive.
	You got two.
	You're too zip on there.
	Yeah, I'm perma-baked.
	Oh, sorry.
	Wrong one.
	That's from the chat room.
	I liked it a lot.
	Perma-baked.
	Now, to mention a few people who get mentioned because they gave over 50.
	By the way, somebody else gave us 3333, and he sent me a note saying, I'm giving you this because I don't like Adam.
	Sorry.
	Cool.
	So it's only half.
	Yeah.
	It's only half of the 666.
	So I want to call out Richard Chapayus for $50 and Hari Lakala, who gave us a nice, cool $100.
	But the funniest one, I think, this week would be Andrea Cardinal, who I couldn't resist looking up because she gave us $69.69.
	Oh, baby.
	And?
	Is she hot?
	I couldn't see a picture of her, but she's in Italy.
	I think she's in Milan or someplace like that.
	Oh, dude.
	So she's our Italian listener.
	I'll bet you she's hot.
	I'll bet you she's hot.
	She's Italian, John.
	Well, she could be Claudia Cardinal's daughter, for all we know.
	What was her name?
	What was her first name?
	Andrea Cardinal.
	Andrea Cardinal.
	Baby.
	Nice.
	But yeah, people need to go to dvorak.org slash NA and contribute to the show and you get to hear all kinds of interesting news.
	Or noagendalibrary.com.
	And feel free to use this show to your advantage.
	I mean, there's a lot of things you can do.
	Maybe you have a low-power FM transmitter you want.
	Who was doing that?
	Didn't we get an email about that, John?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, somebody was doing something.
	Oh, crap.
	Come on.
	Well, wait a minute.
	I'm going to go to my email.
	I'm going to go to my email right now.
	Watch how it works.
	Okay, so low power FM. All right, is that obscure enough?
	Gmail computes and Gmail says...
	Nothing is what it says.
	Well, hold on.
	There's a...
	Yeah, it's what I thought.
	Wait a minute.
	Maybe transmitter.
	Oh, now he's changed it.
	We don't need no stinking transmitters.
	Here it is.
	I got him.
	No agenda on FM. So it only took me two hits.
	From Corey.
	Here it is.
	Hold on a second.
	What was his?
	It was a forward from you, no less, John.
	He didn't even send it to me directly.
	That's how good my Gmail is.
	Corey Allen says, I thought I'd let you know, I recently dug up my old FM radio transmitter.
	Now I'm broadcasting the No Agenda stream for about a one-mile radius from my house, which covers a good chunk of the city.
	Bloomington, Illinois?
	It'd be Indiana, probably.
	I.L.? Oh, that's Illinois.
	Yeah.
	There's a Bloomington in every state back there.
	88.7 KRCK. And, uh, wait a minute.
	Then there was this.
	He's changed.
	I think he changed the frequency.
	Yes.
	I'm sorry.
	Strike that.
	KRCK. What's the frequency, Kenneth?
	KRCK. Now on 90.3 FM. Bloomington, Illinois.
	Yeah, that was good.
	Give him another one so you can put it on his show.
	K-R-C-K. It's crack.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Crack!
	That's right!
	Hey everybody, it's K-K-K. I'm going to try that again.
	I slipped.
	Hey everybody, it's K-K-K. Along here with JCD in Bloomington, Illinois at 90.3 FM. Johnny!
	You're supposed to say something there.
	It's okay.
	It's fine.
	Excellent.
	Do you see how that email works, John?
	Are you convinced?
	Yeah, yeah, I'll have to get my act together.
	You heard it here first.
	Okay, so now the other big thing going on, the big news, kind of.
	But wait, there's more.
	There's more.
	More to the show.
	So apparently a lot of...
	Send us money, will you please?
	This is a good show, John.
	I'm liking it.
	United Airlines has decided to charge really fat people.
	Double, right?
	Two seats.
	Yeah, for two seats.
	Because they used to be free.
	They used to just give you the extra seat free.
	So there's a bunch of people complaining.
	This has got to be a goldmine for the local station, so they get to find the fattest people they can find.
	Hey, we can fill up the real news, man!
	Let's find some fatties!
	And the one that had the moniker, this one woman, is a fat activist.
	That's what her title was.
	That's crazy.
	Fat activist.
	Now, this reminds me of another anecdote, which is, I don't know, maybe it's a little in bad taste, but I found it quite amusing.
	I'm at SeaTac.com.
	That's Seattle Airport.
	Seattle-Tacoma Airport.
	So this was a number of years ago when you did have to give somebody an extra seat if they were too big.
	And there's this woman standing at the counter and she was like, it was like probably just a little, just about top of the stomach high is all you could see of her from the other side of the counter.
	And I was watching her plead so she could have a second seat, and she had the strangest body.
	She looked like she was a thin supermodel from the waist up.
	Uh-huh.
	And so this person that was looking at her, said, what are you, crazy?
	What, do you just want an extra seat?
	You know, she was just looking at her, she was nuts.
	But I guess she didn't say, hey, well, look at me now, because she had probably the biggest butt I've ever seen.
	I've seen this body type, and I'm convinced that what's happening to exacerbate there, it's really a, there's a mental disorder, of course.
	It's a horrible condition when you think about it.
	These women are just built with what we used to call childbearing hips.
	And, of course, you know, they can just get, A little bigger than that, but then they will starve themselves and work out, and it'll never come off.
	It's just the build, almost.
	It will not come off, and so the top gets thinner and thinner and thinner and beautiful and slim and just so fantastic, and the bottom is, you know, then it's just like, oh my god, because it's a build.
	It's not like you're fat.
	This woman's butt was the size of a Hummer.
	Oh, shit.
	It was unbelievable.
	But I felt kind of sorry for it because I know she was trying to plead her case without having to back up and say, hey, will you look at me?
	Look at my ass.
	Hey, fuck you, look at my ass, brother.
	Anyway.
	Oh, that's sad.
	All the fat activists are reminding me of that anecdote.
	Now I got it out of the way.
	So, you know, it used to be in the day of Rubens that Rubenesque women, which doesn't sound like this woman was Rubenesque plus plus, But it was en vogue.
	It was the fashion, and it was what was considered beautiful.
	And I have a question for you, which I think I asked you privately, and I believe we said, hey, let's talk about that on the show, because sometimes we have an agenda.
	Well, here it comes.
	My question off-air to John was, did women really remove all of their pubic hair in the 1700s and 1800s?
	Was that the fashion, or did the painters, for some reason, just not paint it on?
	I think there's a combination of things because you have to remember that until Penthouse Magazine came along, they airbrushed out that hair in Playboy.
	And it was always a big deal.
	The girls were airbrushed, airbrushed, and they would airbrush out any hair that was visible, and then all of a sudden it became kind of stylish to show it.
	And I would assume that the painters left it off, but I would also assume that they had beeswax back then.
	They had honey and all these other things.
	They could rip that hair out with the Brazilian, as it were, in the same way they do today.
	I mean, I don't think the technology has changed, or it's not new.
	Somebody just invented wax.
	So at what point do you think did women say, you know, was it in the 1900s when they said, hey, you know, shit, that's kind of a good look.
	I like that bush.
	And then, of course, you know, because that just began.
	I remember my mom, she had like a frigging afro down there.
	You know, you weren't waxing in the 70s.
	Well, that's the 70s.
	What were you doing?
	I saw my mom naked.
	You never saw your parents naked?
	I wouldn't...
	You're kidding me!
	Now that you mention it, I probably did.
	But the point is, I think...
	Wow!
	Stop!
	Put the brakes on!
	This is very interesting.
	This is the generational divide right here.
	You like to see your parents want to...
	I didn't say...
	No, no, no.
	Be serious for a second.
	Be serious for a second.
	It was very normal in our house.
	If you're walking from the bathroom to your bedroom or whatever, you could walk naked, but it was no big deal.
	My parents would do it.
	My kids would do it.
	Okay.
	Well, you're from European.
	We're Americans.
	So Americans never see their parents naked?
	No, you see, yeah, but you don't wander around the house naked unless you're a nudist family, and there's plenty of those.
	You put a towel on.
	Who wants to see somebody schlong hanging and bouncing around?
	I mean, it's just like, hey, will you put a towel on or get dressed?
	I mean, it would be the reaction.
	I have to say, you got me there.
	Naked men generally just not a good look.
	And I don't want to see my mother roaming around naked scratching herself.
	I just don't think it's something I want to see.
	And I would say the same thing.
	Will you put a towel on?
	Will you get dressed for God's sake?
	So what is so repulsive to you about the human body, John?
	What is it that repulses you so much?
	It's not repulsive.
	It's just like it's something you just don't want to just dwell on.
	Well, it sounded like...
	Why wouldn't you want to dwell on it?
	You've got a body.
	I just think that there's a lot of...
	Is this how you homeschooled your children?
	With this?
	My kids don't walk around naked.
	No, but have you seen your kids naked?
	I don't go around looking to see my kids naked.
	No, I'm just asking a question.
	You must have seen some of them naked when they were born.
	At what point does that stop?
	It stops after you don't have to change their damn diaper.
	I think you've seen enough naked kids by then.
	So, you know, my daughter was sunning topless at the pool in Portugal.
	Is that too much naked?
	That's a topless area.
	That's not naked.
	Oh, it's a topless area.
	Oh, okay.
	I just want to get it straight, John.
	It's a topless area.
	We have our little niches.
	You can go over the topless beach and be topless and nobody cares.
	Or go to San Tropez where everybody's topless.
	And if you're not topless, you look like an idiot.
	You are so...
	Oh, man.
	Well, you hold your fork wrong, too.
	But that's kind of why I love you.
	It's all that little stuff.
	It's just the way it is.
	Would you like me to end the show here?
	We can do another nine minutes if you prefer.
	Well, I'm out of material.
	Well, I got a couple of things.
	I really got into command line on vacation.
	We had two days where the weather wasn't all that hot.
	And I rediscovered VIM. This thing is amazing.
	I don't know what you're talking about.
	It's command line editor.
	So my fingers never...
	I am now...
	Why don't you just go to the command line and type stuff in?
	That's exactly what I'm doing, John.
	You know how we talked about our developers, if you look at them, they've got all these screens open and all that shit?
	Because these guys are professional information managers, and they have the best tools, and as it turns out, all this...
	GUI stuff, it really gets in the way of most of the work I just want to do.
	I want to quickly move stuff from email to outlines, to Twitter stuff, to put Twitter into a show rundown.
	I even want to fire my jingles from the keyboard, all from one window.
	It shouldn't have to be a million different apps and control tab and mouse.
	It just slows me down so much.
	That I'm becoming a born-again CLI. Crackpot command.
	Line central.
	I know it.
	Well, I'm just saying.
	Do you have the best we can do to wrap up the show?
	No, the reason why I was...
	I like DOS. The reason why I'm saying it is because I've got a whole bunch of stuff that we can still talk about to wind it up.
	I'll give you a few.
	Well, maybe we should save them for the Sunday show after we get some more contributions.
	You want to hear these stories?
	Polish media discovers evidence of CIA prisons.
	I guess no surprise there, huh?
	Nope.
	I think that's it.
	I mean, yeah.
	Well, there was the one, just talking of command line, where the hell was that?
	There was some guy who was detained.
	Let me find it.
	Oh, man.
	Some guy who was detained in the report.
	Oh, here it is.
	Boston College.
	I've got it.
	It's from EFF, so I'm just citing the source, just so you know, but it's kind of funny.
	So, on Friday, EFF, that's the Electronic Frontier Foundation, and the law firm of Fish and Richardson filed an emergency motion to quash I didn't know that.
	Interesting.
	Motion to quash.
	I quash you and I strike you one more.
	And for the return of seized property on behalf of Boston College Computer Sciences student whose computers, cell phone, and other property were seized as part of an investigation into who sent an email to a school mailing list identifying another student as gay.
	And so from this report, from the warrant application to seize and search this kid's property, Reported, Mr.
	Calixti uses two different operating systems to hide his illegal activities.
	Oh, yeah.
	One is the regular BC operating system.
	The other is a black screen with white font, which he uses prompt commands on.
	So, using prompt commands is now enough to get a warrant.
	Yeah, you're a terrorist.
	Prompt.
	Who writes this crap?
	You know, we wonder why the newspapers are going out of business.
	Oh, boy.
	Nobody asks the right questions anymore.
	So my last comment is that, do you ever do this?
	I just want to know, because, you know, you are like a screwy guy.
	I love you, too.
	Here's the way it goes.
	Do you ever, like, go and you're, like, looking at my notes here, and, of course, there's notes from, you know, this is one of these little notebooks that I pick up and drop, and so there's old stuff in here, and I don't know what it is.
	And, um...
	I've done this.
	I notice I've been doing this a lot, and I can't figure out how to break myself of the habit.
	I'm talking to somebody, and I say, well, I want to get a hold of you.
	What's your email?
	And then they give me their email.
	I write it down.
	You know, and it's always something weird.
	Yahoo, in this case.
	And then I... Put it away and then like six months later or a year, I don't know how long, you look and go, whose email was this?
	Because you don't write the person's name.
	You just assume, well, there's got to be someone, but it's not.
	It's impossible to tell who it is.
	And you can't email them because you look like a complete dork.
	You know, you say, I've got your email in my box and I wonder who you are.
	And maybe, of course, you may have promised to call them or write them the next day and you didn't do it, whatever.
	And so now you're stuck with this orphan email.
	Do you do this?
	No, I don't.
	Because, first of all, when people...
	I don't think I ever say, I really want to get in touch with you, give me your email.
	I don't think I ever say that.
	Most people say, hey man, can I email you?
	And they'll say, yeah, it's adamatkurry.com.
	It's real easy to remember.
	Yeah, I know, but that's fine when you have something like that.
	I think if I wrote down adamatkurry.com and then saw it like a year later, I'd go, whoa!
	Yeah, so I guess the point is, yes, you would go, whoa!
	The point is, we get a reboot with Twitter.
	I think that's the new business card.
	You want to reach me?
	Just Twitter me.
	And so, the real Dvorak.
	We all can choose a cool name now instead of having to remember, because we're so stupid.
	I mean, look at what we believe in on television.
	We're so stupid we can't remember two sets of data, the name part and then the domain name part.
	So Twitter makes that easier.
	By the way, that was a serious report that Twittering can rot your brain.
	Well, I know Facebook gives you bad grades.
	Is this an official report you have?
	Somebody at the University of Ohio, I think, came up with that people who use Facebook a lot get lousy grades.
	Yeah, I believe it.
	But they don't know why.
	Is it because they use Facebook too much or is it because they have lousy grades and they gravitate to Facebook to lament?
	No, because they're hooked on that shit, man.
	You've seen it.
	You've seen what it looks like when someone's on Facebook all day long.
	You get sucked in.
	It's like doing coke.
	So is Twitter, by the way, except that's more like crack.
	So where Facebook is coke, Twitter is crack.
	Crack.
	It's crack.
	Because you have to keep looking.
	It's like the Blackberry.
	Oh, did someone update?
	Is there a new status?
	Is someone's life apathetic?
	Is their mood happy?
	And you get that instant hit.
	It's like, oh yeah, I got another one with one of my friends.
	So Twitter is kind of the same thing, you know.
	Did I get another follower?
	It's crack.
	It's crack.
	I'm not going to argue.
	It's quality crack.
	I think it's quality crack.
	It is.
	It's the good stuff.
	It's the new command line for the web.
	I love it.
	That's an interesting theory.
	Well, look at what you're doing.
	Have you ever retrieved stock quotes through Twitter?
	John, you know what this is, don't you?
	You can predict exactly what's going to happen.
	All the same stuff is going to happen all over again.
	I started publishing my cyber sleaze, which is the very first kind of gossipy stuff I was doing online way before the web.
	You could finger my.plan file in my account.
	Remember those days of fingering, John?
	No.
	Yeah, when I was in college, I did that.
	Yeah.
	That's how I started publishing on the internet, was through fingering.
	I believe that.
	And so the show has come full circle, from teabagging to fingering.
	My name is Adam Curry.
	And I'm John C. Dvorak.

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