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April 12, 2009 - No Agenda

01:29:44

88: Perchlorate and Cut Fiber

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	Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak.
	I didn't prepare an opening because I'm on vacation, dude.
	Happy Easter, everybody.
	This is No Agenda.
	Coming to you from the temporary Crackpot Command Center located in the sunny southeastern part of the Algarve in Portugal.
	I'm Adam Curry.
	And from the Pacific Northwest, also known as Gitmo Nation, Pacific Northwest, how creative.
	I'm John C. Dvorak.
	It's Crackpot and Buzzkill!
	In the morning!
	I realize I haven't even set up my in the morning jingles or anything like that on the mobile set.
	Ah, I'm so lame.
	It sounded good.
	Yeah, no, but I don't have, now I can't trigger an in the morning because I don't have those set up.
	Oh, that's okay.
	I don't think it's going to kill the show.
	This is a horrible problem.
	So, Chan, you ad-libbed the opening, and I think it worked out fine.
	Yeah, I can do it when I need to.
	You know, that's the old DJ comes back.
	Ad-libbed the opening.
	What's going on here in sunny Portugal?
	I'm here in rainy Pacific Northwest.
	Yes, well, first of all, happy Easter, John.
	Happy Resurrection.
	And a what?
	Isn't that what Easter is?
	The resurrection?
	Oh, resurrection, resurrection, yes.
	Did I say erection?
	You're breaking up.
	Anyway, yeah, same to you.
	Happy Easter to everybody out there listening to us, even though most of them won't be listening on Easter.
	I don't know.
	We've got a lot of people on the stream.
	But yeah, I'm in the Eastern Algarve, which is about as far off the beaten track as you can get in the touristy part of Portugal.
	Where is it?
	I don't know.
	Well, so you know where Faro is?
	Down in the south.
	Oh, right, right.
	You're way down there.
	Yeah, so if you looked at the map, and our listeners might actually consider doing that from time to time, you'll see that Portugal kind of goes down into a point down in the south, and of course it's embedded right next to Spain.
	So we're really only maybe 50 kilometers from Spain from where we are right now.
	And so most people, most tourists, all go to the west of Faro, which is where the airport is, and that's where all the resorts are, etc.
	We rented a house, yeah, kind of in the sticks, but it's awesome.
	We got a...
	We've got a pool.
	We've got a fantastic view.
	It's a huge place.
	The downside is I couldn't find a place to set up other than in a living room because the wireless won't reach to all the different rooms in this house.
	It's been awesome.
	It's been really cool.
	It's a reasonably good connection, it sounds like.
	Yeah, you know, I'm worried about it because we've been getting three megabits down, you know, the typical 500 kilobits up, but it has been just like going down or the router's been rebooting from time to time at least once a day, so I pray for it not to happen right now.
	Well, if it does, you know, at least we got this much of the show done.
	Hi, everybody.
	Hey, good talking to you.
	So, yeah, what's your plans?
	I'm going to cook a leg of lamb.
	Why does that not surprise me?
	Where are you?
	Are you in San Francisco or are you in Washington still?
	No, I'm in Washington.
	You should have listened.
	Yeah, no, I'm up here in the same thing.
	That's why I got the BR-40.
	Yeah, a leg of lamb.
	Yesterday we cooked some delicious baby back ribs in celebration of Easter.
	Do you celebrate Easter?
	Are you a religious man?
	I'm not anti-religious, but we celebrate Easter by having dinner.
	Right.
	My wife always makes up, you know, she used to always hide eggs, and then also she makes a big basket traditionally every year.
	So what is the deal with Easter and the eggs?
	I don't think I actually know the story behind that.
	Well, you've caught me off guard.
	I have no idea.
	Really?
	You don't know why the eggs relate to Easter?
	That's surprising.
	I'm like, you know, I don't even have to Google that.
	I'll just ask John.
	Yeah, well, you should have Googled it.
	Or the bunny.
	The other thing is, what about the Easter bunny?
	What's that got to do with the price of bread?
	What's up with that?
	Hon, why do we have eggs with Easter?
	No idea.
	She doesn't know.
	And you should know, being a good Catholic.
	As she throws a knife in my general direction.
	Well, she didn't hit you.
	So what's in the top of the news for you?
	What's going on in Portugal?
	Well, obviously, the news is kind of sparse.
	I haven't even bought a newspaper.
	How's the food over there?
	That's more important.
	The food is great.
	We're right next door to a real fancy hotel, and they have a well-known restaurant.
	I don't think they're rated with any stars, but they're in all the books and magazines that I've read.
	And I have to say, it was outstanding.
	And, you know, Christina's with us, and she brought her boyfriend, Dexter, who is, oh God, oh shock, oh horror, he's a vegetarian.
	I know, it's like God is punishing me.
	It's like, oh, you want to make fun of those guys?
	Here, have one!
	Vegetarian.
	So what's the name of the restaurant, for God's sake?
	Well, if I, well, it doesn't matter.
	If I say it, then people will know where I am, but that's okay.
	Lorangerie.
	Oh, well, there's, like, That's an unusual name for a restaurant.
	Never heard of such a place.
	Gee!
	How many could there be in the world of Lorangeries?
	So you took your potential son-in-laws to the restaurant, and they, of course, have no vegetarian dishes there, right?
	Actually, they had a special vegetarian menu, could you believe it?
	I was blown away.
	You know why?
	Because Portugal is one of the great spots for the Brits to hang out.
	Exactly.
	And the Brits, they have a lot of...
	Oddballs in Britain.
	Most of the vegetarian movements have all begun there.
	If you want to see what happens in a credit crunch, come to Portugal because two things have happened.
	A, people just don't have the money or they're holding back on spending.
	But secondarily, the pound is almost equal to the euro.
	So the Brits, and you hear this all the time, well, why have a pound if we can't use our leverage to go places cheap on vacation and drink until we puke?
	So, attendance is like 30 or 40% down.
	Occupancy rates are just the lowest ever.
	People are booking at the very, very last minute.
	So, it's a big problem here.
	So, without getting too nosy, what do you pay for the place you have and how big is it?
	I'll tell you exactly.
	I don't mind.
	Because what you do is, you have these...
	Here's what happened.
	Throughout the past ten years in Britain, we had just tons of television programs.
	A Place in the Sun, A Home and Away, Far and Abroad, In and Out My Ass.
	All these different shows.
	And they were on in prime time.
	And it was basically...
	Helping you select the right country as a Brit to go take the money that was invested in or the value that had increased in your home in the United Kingdom and purchase relatively cheap real estate in any of these sunny countries.
	Talk about a Ponzi scheme.
	All these developments were going on.
	All this EU money came into all these countries.
	Here in Portugal, they put a road between...
	I guess it's Lisbon.
	It probably goes further than Lisbon.
	But Lisbon, you can go all the way deep into Spain.
	It's a brand new highway.
	It's like driving on a Formula One track.
	It's so beautiful.
	It used to take...
	Five or six hours to get from Lisbon to Faro.
	Now you can do it in two and a half.
	I mean, it's just fantastic.
	So all this infrastructure, all these buildings started to come about, and everyone had all this value in their homes because they just kept going up and up and up, particularly in the United Kingdom, all enticed by this television, you know, these programs, you have to do this and you've got to jump on the bandwagon.
	It was completely targeted at dinks, you know, dual income, no kids.
	And so everyone bought these places.
	And now, of course, it's like, oh, shit.
	In the UK, every single day now, you read that banks are actually telling people, hey, the value of your home dropped.
	You have to pay us 200,000 pounds right now.
	And apparently, it's in these mortgage contracts that they can do that.
	So people are freaking out.
	So now these new agencies have cropped up.
	And their entire job is to market these homes, either on or off-season, to rent them out to individual parties.
	And they're really good, and they're really professional, and they get you your rental car and take care of your...
	It's almost like a personal concierge service.
	So for this place, six bedrooms.
	It'll sleep 12 comfortably.
	Every bedroom has its own en suite bathroom.
	You know, a nice size heated swimming pool, 1,500 pounds for the week.
	That's a good deal.
	That's an awesome deal.
	I mean, you could stay at a New York hotel and it costs you that much for two nights.
	Two nights, exactly.
	And so if you had 12 people here, then it's like 100 pounds a person for the entire week.
	Now, granted, you have to...
	It's got a pool.
	I saw the pictures of it.
	The thing is, it's huge.
	It's not like...
	And it's in the middle of...
	I mean, you're in a kind of secluded...
	It looks like a resort place.
	It'd be a good place to own.
	Oh, it'd be beautiful.
	And so that's exactly these people.
	They've had it for four years now.
	They started renting it out.
	But it's nice because everything is here, everything you need.
	Of course, you have to cook your own food, but that's why I like having the hotel and the restaurant around the corner, basically.
	But it is separate.
	It's not in a resort.
	In fact, there's a farm next door with goats.
	Sounds like Goatsy, by the way.
	Goats are noisy.
	Oh, my goodness.
	And they have a guttural sound that makes them sound like they're talking.
	Yeah.
	Goatsy.
	So I woke this morning to some disturbing news.
	Go figure.
	Apparently the CDC, the United States Centers for Disease Control, has discovered in a study that every single brand of baby formula on the market, but in particular, of course, the bovine-based formula, contain, wait for it, perchlorate.
	And they're now calling a major alert saying, well, you know, there's also plenty of perchlorate in the water in the United States in about 35 states for sure, but probably everywhere.
	And the combination of Making the formula with, you know, sometimes this formula, you add water to it, it's powder formed, could be dangerous to the health of children.
	And of course, even though you can't tell me what eggs and the bunny have to do with Easter, I'm thinking, my buddy John certainly can tell me about perchlorate and what the hell it is and why it's in our water and our baby formula.
	No, I haven't got a clue.
	I thought you'd say that, so I took the liberty of looking it up.
	Hey!
	Now, perchlorite is actually a main ingredient in rocket fuel.
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, I do know that.
	Rocket fuel is like rich perchlorite.
	It's an oxygen booster.
	Yeah, exactly.
	And it's found in fireworks, which is how it gets into a lot of the drinking water supplies, because people light off these huge firework displays in the middle of rivers, apparently drinking reservoirs.
	So the FDA, of course, and the EPA together are saying, well, it's okay to have a little bit of perchlorate in the milk.
	I just don't understand it.
	How can anything be okay in the milk?
	Shouldn't it just be milk?
	I don't understand why.
	It can't just be milk.
	I mean, if they're adding water, I'm not sure how the perchloride is getting into the milk.
	And that's what's so frustrating.
	Let's just put it this way.
	Whether it's harmful or not, how is it getting in there?
	So no one has the answer for that.
	But I presume, could it be another one of these things that's being used to up the protein content?
	Or is it maybe a...
	It's used...
	I can't understand how it's used in the process or how it would be created.
	Let's get a food chemist to send us some notes.
	Somebody out there knows.
	Send us a note.
	Please.
	Twitter us or do something.
	I wanted to make a quick mention of a new way to access a lot of the functionality of this program in our community is noagenda.mobi.
	Branded as the iPhone app for the rest of us, which I like very much.
	If you go to noagenda.mobi, you'll see there a nice little menu.
	You can get the latest podcast, the latest show notes.
	You can send a tweet to the stream.
	You can see the latest tweets that John and I have sent.
	It's really quite nice.
	Yeah.
	We're going to have a bunch of stuff like that when we get our big site up and running.
	Yeah, I'm sure you haven't spoken to those guys yet, have you?
	No, it's a holiday.
	Okay, I'm just asking.
	I'm just kind of in passing.
	Tuesday.
	Some people were very angry at me, John.
	Well, this is news?
	Well, they said that...
	Stop the presses!
	They said, you know, hey man, you were rude to Mimi and you should apologize.
	Actually, they were angry at you too for the last show, which I thought was kind of funny.
	Well, good.
	I need to get more attention.
	Did Mimi say anything?
	No, she said she was kind of caught off guard because she's normally snarkier than you.
	And she didn't quite know what to make of the fact that you were so...
	And I will say this, by the way, phonally flirting, which is not what you do, I mean, except as a goof.
	And so she knows that next time she's going to give you crap.
	That's what she says.
	I like this.
	Adam and John, I just finished No Agenda 87 and heard you refute your listeners as producers.
	I was thinking at the time that probably wasn't a good idea, actually.
	Well, I'm happy to be your producer.
	How entertaining is a PBS fun drive?
	That's how entertaining No Agenda 87 was.
	Going forward, the amount of time spent asking for donations will not exceed two minutes per show.
	Do it all at once or in two pieces, but do not exceed two minutes and do not mention it more than twice.
	Adam, there was nothing entertaining about you being disrespectful to John's wife and their marriage.
	You sounded like a total douchebag when you talked about hooking up with Mimi.
	Don't be a dick.
	Wait for it.
	John, when Adam's being a dick and disrespecting your wife and you don't defend her, you come across like a total puss.
	Yeah, well here's the problem I should mention to him.
	I had no idea since she had the headphones on what Adam was saying.
	So what am I supposed to do?
	Be a mind reader?
	Yeah, okay.
	See, I got the defense here.
	If it was the normal thing where you always say, turn your speakers down, which would be in the other studio, then yeah, I would have heard that and it wouldn't have gone very far, but I didn't know what the heck was.
	All I heard was Mimi going, huh?
	What?
	Huh?
	And you're yakking away, so I don't know.
	So you can't be critical if somebody is completely out of the loop.
	Anyway, so don't do that again.
	I'm sorry.
	Good.
	So the big news, you know, when I'm up here, by the way, I kind of just watch Canadian news.
	Yeah, sure.
	I mean, why bother with Amy Winehouse in the U.S. when you can get real news or some of it from Canada?
	Curious, if mentioned Amy Winehouse on this hour has 22 minutes.
	Really?
	In which context?
	Some similar context that we mention her as, you know, non-news, phony news kind of thing.
	So...
	They have this weird thing.
	They have these...
	Desar has a 22-Minister.
	If anybody ever gets a chance to watch this show, you should.
	And occasionally they come into the United States and they do these...
	They like to have...
	This one guy in particular loves to get people...
	I mean, he just has the most insulting questions.
	And then he answers them for them.
	The person never gets to say anything.
	And it's funny to watch Americans who have obviously never seen the show...
	Respond, you know, indignantly.
	But they also had these...
	There's two characters that are...
	They play these two characters who are foppish Canadian radio announcers who do the classical music show.
	These two extremely pretentious jerks they play.
	They were just bragging on some poor guy who looks like he had Down syndrome or something.
	It was just...
	It was weird.
	But anyway, the big news is the Billy Bob Thornton story.
	I don't know about this.
	Yeah, I don't think that the U.S. knows much about it either.
	So, in fact, I'm going to have to read you the story because it's actually one of the funniest things going on.
	It's a real news story.
	So Billy Bob, I don't have the jingle, so Billy Bob, of course, famously married to Angelina Jolie into all kinds of kinky sex, which is, of course, cool if you're with Angelina Jolie, and I think one of the better American actors.
	Mm-hmm.
	Excuse me while I eat my grapefruit.
	People hate that when you do it.
	I'm hungry.
	I just got up.
	Okay.
	So...
	So he goes up to Canada with his band.
	His band, you know.
	Yes.
	It's called...
	Billy Bob's Band.
	Boxmasters.
	And...
	Now, I'm going to read you the article after I explain kind of what I saw.
	And they were showing this all over.
	I mean, this is just top of the news.
	And he comes into an interview with somebody because he wants to do a Canadian tour.
	And so he's up on this tour.
	And he goes in and he just...
	Apparently, and they show it.
	It's on YouTube.
	He blows up at this guy because the guy made the mistake of mentioning that he's an actor.
	Instead of what?
	What are you supposed to call him?
	A rock star.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Oh, yes.
	My faux pas.
	So he blew up at the guy and he just chewed out the Canadian audience and he said the Canadians, this is just before he starts the tour by the way, he makes the comment that the Canadians are mashed potatoes with no gravy.
	Wait, he's performing in Canada?
	Yeah.
	Alright, this is not the way to start the show.
	So his first concert in Toronto, right after this comment, the Canadians go crazy and they start yelling at him, booing him, and yelling, here's your gravy!
	And he's yelling, booing, boo, get off the stage.
	So the next day, here's the headline, Billy Bob Thornton Band cancels Canadian shows, supposedly because they all have the flu.
	LAUGHTER Yeah, avian bird flu.
	They didn't even get the guts to do anything.
	So let me just read you something.
	This is a CNN story.
	The flu has forced an early end to Billy Bob Thornton's musical tour of Canada, his publicist said Saturday, because he can't even say it.
	The news was reportedly greeted with loud applause at a Friday night show in Montreal after he called Canadian concertgoers mashed potatoes with no gravy in a radio interview.
	Wednesday, the Boxmasters' final Canadian dates in Montreal and London, Ontario, were canceled because one of the band members and several of the crew have the flu.
	He goes on, he says, they need a few days to recuperate.
	Now, here's where it gets weird.
	There's some really weird stuff in this story.
	We tend to play in places...
	Oh, yeah.
	He says, the smashed potatoes with no gravy, Thornton told CBC host Gian Gomeschi.
	We tend to play in places where people throw things at each other, and here they just sort of sit there, he said.
	The audience said Thursday's show, loudly booed the box masters with some shouts of, here comes the gravy, the Toronto Star reported.
	Then this thing goes on and on, because he didn't want to talk about being an actress, he says...
	Thornton promotes a mythology that his cosmic cowboy music came together years ago after a fight over coleslaw at a Los Angeles chicken restaurant.
	What?
	His long and successful career as an actor, director, and screenwriter does not fit with his struggling musician story he tells in interviews about the Boxmasters.
	Hmm.
	Isn't that just kind of off?
	You know, the people who are...
	Are very successful at one thing, like acting, and then they very typically want to go into singing.
	This happens all the time, and it just won't work.
	It becomes an obsession for them, and I think actually quite an unhealthy one.
	I told you about that show.
	It's called Living with the Hoff.
	Right.
	Over the English DJ. It's a fantastic show.
	I mean, there's only two episodes.
	Did you bring that up in the show last week?
	I can't remember if I did, but it is something that has to be seen to believe.
	So this UK DJ, who apparently, on kind of like a lark, got Hasselhoff's record in the charts, one of his early ones, around the Berlin Wall time, I guess, which, of course, he claims responsibility that he brought down the wall.
	And so now they're doing this show where the guy goes out to Bel Air and lives with him for like a week.
	With who?
	With David Hasselhoff.
	And it's a reality-based show.
	So it's this English white pasty DJ with the Hoff.
	And the Hoff's life is phenomenal, man.
	And by the way, I think David Hasselhoff is severely underestimated.
	As what?
	As a singer.
	As a performer.
	As the Hoff.
	He can solve any problems in the world, John.
	The Hoff can do all.
	So is it the DJ or the Hoff that coined the phrase the Hoff?
	I don't know who coined it.
	It's kind of universally known.
	I never heard it before.
	It's like there's God and then there's the Hoff.
	I like it when he was crawling around for the hamburger on the YouTube video.
	But that's part of the beauty of the Hoff, man.
	That's part of what makes him so wonderful.
	And when he's on that show that he does the reality...
	America's Got Talent?
	Yeah, he just seems like he's stoned.
	He's drunk.
	No, he's drunk.
	During the whole show, he's completely drunk.
	The guy is always slurring his words.
	And then he gets on like wave runners.
	And then he's got like guys who...
	And I've seen this before with rich guys, rich single guys or divorced.
	But as long as they've got tons of money, they'll have like a manservant.
	And the manservant's job is basically to keep them alive.
	I'm sure you know guys like this.
	No, actually I don't.
	Really?
	So the manservant drives their car.
	He makes sure that when they get drunk and fall down, he picks them up and takes them home.
	I mean, it's sad.
	Yeah, it keeps them from getting arrested for DUI. Well, it just keeps them from dying or killing someone else.
	And the Hoffs got two of those dudes.
	Two of them.
	It's amazing.
	One for each arm.
	It's amazing.
	Coming through on Twitter.
	The egg for Easter is the symbol of life and rebirth.
	And the rabbit, of course, the symbol of fertility.
	Well, we could have known that.
	We could have guessed.
	Yes.
	That's from Unlucky Dip.
	I don't make it up, man.
	And Macro Ron says, perchlorate kills germs.
	It's a corporate food preservative.
	Hmm.
	I don't see it on too many packages.
	Anyway, I'll look into the pork glory.
	Of course they don't put it on the packages.
	No, you have to in the U.S. So if it's put in as an additive, why wouldn't you?
	What difference does it make?
	Who knows what it is?
	People don't read those things anyway.
	So let's get back to the Hoff, the real news.
	Yeah, the Hoff is much more interesting.
	I agree.
	No, I think the Hoff, he could be a symbol of hope.
	If the Hoff were running for our president...
	Let's go, wait, hold on, let's stop a second.
	For one thing you say, this guy is like underrated as a singer.
	I've seen her sing.
	I'm not impressed.
	As a singer, performer, all-rounder.
	Hey, you have to Google this video.
	You know the...
	Was it Blue Suede, Hooked on a Feeling?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, you know that song.
	Hooga Chukka, Hooga Chukka.
	Yeah, I know the song, but I don't know the video.
	Yeah, well, so the Hoff did it.
	And so if you see this video, you will poop yourself.
	I guarantee it.
	But why?
	Is he bad?
	I mean, you're not making yourself clear.
	You make it sound like he's an underrated superstar talent.
	But then you say he's a drunk that needs constant attendance.
	No, no.
	As an entertainer, he's underrated, of course.
	Because he's extremely entertaining.
	Yeah, but is he entertaining as a campy figure that is just like laughable and it's so entertaining?
	I mean, is Amy Winehouse is a little like that?
	Or is he entertaining because, wow, this guy can really belt these songs out?
	No.
	No, he's entertaining because he is the Hoff.
	Okay.
	You have to see it.
	Google the video.
	Okay, I'm not going to do it now because I don't want to kill my bandwidth, but I'll check it later.
	So anyway, so this guy's living with the Hoff.
	Yeah.
	And what's he doing there?
	I mean, does he chat with each other?
	Yeah, no, he's literally living in and around the Hoff, and the Hoff is running around.
	It's like one of these typical hyperactive drunk guys, and he's like, oh, let's cook.
	Hyperactive drunk.
	Let's jump into the Hummer and we're going to drive off to the studio because his daughters are doing...
	He's trying to help his daughters into a singing career.
	And they're all upset about their hair.
	And then it's like, back to the Hoff Cave.
	And then we're going to go ride some wave runners.
	And then it's non-stop.
	It's constant.
	But his music career, the guy is...
	He's obsessed.
	He's absolutely obsessed.
	That's why this radio DJ, he said, yeah, come and live with me.
	The guy wants to chart with his records.
	He has this whole Hoff Museum in his house.
	And he's like, yeah, these gold records on the wall, these platinum ones, that's because people never believe I actually sold records here.
	You know, Germany, Poland, Lithuania.
	You know, it's like pointing them all out.
	It's fantastic.
	I think that video could be the new Rick Roll.
	You've been hoffed.
	So what do you think?
	That could happen.
	So where does this obsession come from with actors deciding to be rock and roll stars?
	Especially, I mean, looking at the Billy Bob Thornton thing, the guy is not, let's put it this way, a spring chicken.
	You know, I mean, if you're singing old blues songs or something, you know, and you could actually play the guitar.
	These guys, they don't play.
	I mean, they're not playing some hot licks or anything.
	They're just up there singing.
	And, you know, most actors and actresses have had singing lessons.
	They can do that.
	Why do they want to, you know, do this on the stage like that?
	I think it has something to do with, maybe it's people who can't really do or are not into stage with that live, because the live audience, of course, and you hear this all the time, the love of the audience, it came over me like a warm blanket.
	Oh, I love the audience.
	You think it's possible, because I know a lot of actors, they like to get practice in front of a live audience by doing a Broadway play for about a year.
	They don't make the big dough, but they make good money.
	Yeah, and they do that because it's the audience feedback.
	That's also a highly addictive thing.
	Even doing live television shows.
	Man, when you stand on a stage and you say something and the audience reacts, that's awesome.
	Right, and it changes the way you have to do your timing, because you have to pause if you're in the middle of a joke.
	Yeah, it sharpens your skills, as they say.
	But I think a lot of people just can't do the stage.
	But it's a lot of these guys.
	It's Woody Allen, famously.
	Keanu Reeves.
	Bruce Willis.
	I'm sure we could go on and on.
	Yeah, there's a slew of them that you mentioned.
	And lots of singers want to become actors.
	Don't you see that all the time?
	Who's the number one failure at trying to make that transition is Madonna.
	She's had the best actors, the best directors.
	I think, unfortunately, boring scripts.
	That probably didn't help.
	Well, she has to pick the script.
	People like Madonna when they're starting off and people want to put them in movies.
	They have a lot of scripts to look at.
	Yeah, I'm just saying.
	So if you pick the dog script, who are you going to blame?
	Well, that's hard to say.
	When the movie's great, everyone responds one way.
	When the movie doesn't do great, it's another way.
	But all of that's going to come to an end.
	All those movies are going away.
	It's going to be the last final bastion because at the end of the day, people finance movies to get laid with good-looking actresses.
	That's always been the same.
	Or at least have dinner with them.
	And all that's coming to an end.
	Newspapers are coming to an end.
	Radio is going out of business.
	Television is going down the tubes.
	Television in the United States is absolutely unwatchable.
	It's all commercials.
	United Kingdom, ITV, a billion pounds in the hole, they're broke.
	They're all broke.
	They're all going out of business.
	It's all going away.
	It's all changing.
	It's just some things taking a little bit longer.
	But look at...
	Look at the newspapers.
	It's gotten even worse since we last spoke about it.
	Yeah, I know.
	It's abysmal.
	Yeah, Boston Globe's losing a million a week.
	The San Francisco Chronicle's losing a million a week.
	And I'm thinking, a million a week in a newspaper.
	And then they're complaining about, what was the thing that someone was complaining about?
	I was listening to a couple of different people.
	There's a lot of pundits floating around that are usually newspaper guys who still don't get it.
	And they're moaning about, the latest thing everyone's moaning about is, well, you know, without the newspapers, we're not going to, you know, the bloggers will have nothing to do.
	They won't be able to write about anything because everything they do is derivative.
	They've never done an original thing in their life, which is not true in any way.
	No, it's absolutely, it's completely untrue.
	And in fact, that's, what we've talked about this, that's what Twitter is doing right now.
	There's new, there's new, Born news agencies who are using this medium bidirectionally.
	Just because it's not about some financial Ponzi scheme.
	People like Horowitz will dig into stuff like that and they'll get pretty far.
	I do other things.
	You do other things.
	It's really one big news organization.
	The trick is who's going to aggregate that or becomes the believable brand.
	I don't even know if that's going to happen anymore.
	I don't know if we need it.
	Well, now the guy who has the Associated Press, and I have to dig his name up, he used to be the publisher of USA Today, and he really never, as far as I can tell, has never been a news guy in terms of being a writer or a journalist.
	Yeah.
	But I could be wrong.
	But anyway, he's been, now he's threatening, this is the big news, he's threatening the bloggers.
	Oh, right, right, right.
	Everyone who's republishing, and now, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I've been seeing all kinds of new organizations cropping up, like, In order to reproduce your newspaper legally inside your company, you pay us an annual fee and then you can make as many copies as you like.
	It's all just trying to grab money.
	It's completely out of control.
	The end is nigh, my friends.
	Well, this Associated Press thing is going to be interesting to follow because they still provide probably 90% of all the photos to the newspapers themselves and some original content, but mostly just shared content.
	So at the end of the day, John...
	I mean, we all understand that the distribution game has changed so many industries, so many businesses, and I totally believe in people getting paid one way or the other for what they do or what they've created intellectually, etc.
	But what is the model?
	I mean, this program, I think, is one model where we ask for donations.
	But, I mean, what are we going to do?
	I mean, how will it work?
	If you can solve that one, wow.
	Well, everything's up in the air.
	Words wisely spoken.
	But, you know, the thing is, the only thing which should bother people, including myself, and it does, is that everything's up in the air, but everything has been up in the air since about 1998.
	You know, the web first hit the street, I think, 92, 93, and then it started to get some momentum.
	And then by 98, you know, five years into it or so, when people started saying, well, you know, there's money to be made.
	Let's do IPOs.
	And everything's going to be disintermediated, which is still my favorite.
	By the way, disintermediation for anybody out there is the only term I know of done during Web 1.0 that was never redefined in the Web 2.0 list of...
	It's still disintermediation?
	I think they disinterred it, but whatever the case.
	People don't talk much about disintermediation, but that is what's been going on ever since 98, which is, in other words, these channels are all different.
	And there's like, you know, I remember having a conversation with somebody during the Napster era.
	And they were adamant about, well, you know, this is no good.
	It's going to ruin everything.
	You can't do that.
	And I said, you have to adapt to it because there's nothing that's ever going to stop people moving files around like this.
	Right.
	And it's going to get worse, as a matter of fact.
	And all evidence is that the amount of traffic that's involved with file sharing just dominates the Internet.
	Right.
	Right.
	So maybe it's just over, but I recall those days very well, even 94, 95, we were saying then, oh, this is going to change everything.
	And we were like, it's all over.
	I was experimenting with streaming audio and streaming.
	You know, on 28.8K modems, you know, and it's like, oh, it's all over.
	And, of course, it took 15 years, and it'll take another 10 maybe for all these businesses to be, you know, dead and gone, but maybe it's just all over.
	That's just it.
	You know, you sit around, there's just no money to be made.
	And, you know, end of story.
	What are we going to do for our TV shows?
	Yeah, I mean, you know.
	I'm sure there's still going to be the high bandwidth that people are going to pay for, i.e.
	television, HD. Maybe you'll just wind up paying for bandwidth.
	I don't know.
	Well, anyway, things are definitely fluid.
	Let's put it that way.
	The models for actually making money doing what we do, for example, is still up in the air.
	I mean, it could be, everything could be foundation-based for all we know.
	In fact, a lot of the, when you watch these guys doing these roundtables about the future of journalism, there's actually came up in the conversation, well, I think the future of journalism is we're going to have, you know, foundations are going to give, you know, these investigative reporters money to go investigate stuff.
	Except the foundation.
	Don't investigate them.
	Yeah, don't investigate the foundation.
	In the Netherlands, same thing.
	The telegraph concern, which is the largest newspaper, totally broke.
	There are hundreds of millions in the hole.
	It's just dead.
	You know, give it up, guys.
	I mean, I like newspapers, but it just doesn't work anymore.
	It's just going to end.
	Anyway.
	You know, what they've done out here, I don't think they've done it at the Chronicle, but they did it at the...
	First they did it with the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, which was losing money, and they just folded.
	They just basically closed.
	It's gone.
	Even the online?
	I thought they were keeping a little bit for the online portion.
	Oh, yeah, no, they're keeping the online, but I'm just saying.
	That, which is a joke.
	I mean, anyone's...
	This is ridiculous, these online newspapers.
	They don't...
	They're overhead.
	They don't have the structure right.
	I mean, it's just like the way when microcomputers, which were they originally called in 1975-76, came onto the scene, the personal computer, which became the desktop computer and the workstation, whatever.
	When those things came on the scene, they were all, well, you know, this is just a toy.
	It's not going to be good for anything.
	But the whole structure of the business was such that once it got more and more powerful, which they did naturally because of microprocessor technology, they kind of ate away from the bottom up.
	And, you know, the old companies were just top-heavy.
	I mean, a mainframe operation is just not efficient, and that's what's happening with these newspapers.
	They still have the old, you know, top-heavy model, too many editors, you know, too many middlemen, too many, you know, reporters that really don't do that much because they're...
	You know, the union lets them get away with only doing X number of inches, usually around 75 a week, which is about half of what a blogger produces.
	Well, you know, I'm just going to go...
	I'm going out.
	I'm going balls to the wall.
	I'm supporting anyone who's doing anything.
	And there's a couple of people doing some interesting stuff on Twitter with headlines, which is, of course, what people want.
	You know, give me 140 characters worth of headlines, and then maybe I'll click on a link and go see what it is.
	I mean, it's just like RSS. It's no different.
	It's all the same stuff, just presented in a different way.
	In fact...
	I'll bet Dave Weiner's thinking to himself, shit, this is what RSS should have been, because it's really simple.
	It's like, all right, here's the basics, here's your parameters, here's what you can do.
	It's almost like a basic computer format.
	But breaking news and the AHN, alternative headline news, and there's a third one that I haven't added to the stream yet.
	And these are on Twitter, right?
	Yeah, these are on, I think, well, they have websites, but they're really publishing their headlines on Twitter, and With amazing consistency and accuracy.
	Okay, they have dorky stuff, but they are getting their own exclusives.
	For instance, did you know that, and very relevant to our last conversation, that the biggest hit this year for Passover is Kosher Coke.
	Did you know that?
	Kosher Coke?
	Yeah.
	Kosher Coke is it, baby.
	No, I did not know that.
	Did you know it existed?
	No.
	Boy!
	That Cessna 172, the Canadian who says he wanted to get shot down by fighter jets, that happened earlier in the week?
	Did you follow that at all?
	No.
	That wasn't on the news?
	I didn't see it.
	Oh, it's funny.
	Yeah, some guy stole a Cessna 172 and he flew across the border, of course, entered airspace without a flight plan or etc.
	And, you know, they forced him down.
	They forced him down.
	And he said, well, this is the quote.
	I mean, I didn't hear him say it, but the quote is he wanted to get shot down.
	You know, big terror alert.
	But, you know, so these guys are on it.
	And, yeah, it's still kind of crude, but the cool thing is if you see someone twittering about something, Then you just Twitter them back, and then you've got a dialogue.
	You've got your news.
	There you go.
	You can be a one-man operation.
	So you're scraping these things and then you're putting them on the stream, right?
	I'm not scraping.
	How are you doing it?
	Oh, I just access the Twitter API, download the 20 most recent tweets from one of these news organizations, make some decisions on how many to repeat and keep in there, and then transcode it into a voice and MP3 file and put it up on the stream.
	And that just cycles every 15 minutes.
	Now, is that done in an automated fashion?
	Yes, it's done automatically.
	Unfortunately, it's done automatically from my laptop still.
	So, you kind of got to keep the laptop on.
	Oh, okay.
	But you're going to fix that.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Now, second week of May, after I get back from San Francisco, then I'm going to have more time to dedicate to a lot of these things.
	I got a list of shit that I want to do.
	Goldman Sachs is...
	Looking to sue this guy who registered the website goldmansucks.com.
	Goldman sucks.
	What were we thinking?
	We should have registered that.
	I know, I know.
	For the lawsuit.
	We're getting so slow, aren't we?
	We're stupid.
	Oh, it's terrible.
	Goldman sucks.
	It's obvious.
	That's so silly.
	We're nuts.
	I love that.
	And this is from...
	What are they suing him?
	What are they got to sue him about?
	You can't...
	It's not suable.
	Of course it is.
	It's completely suable under the Lanham Act.
	Absolutely.
	If people can be confused that they've come to a sucky company called Goldman, then it's consumer confusion.
	I don't know.
	Yeah.
	I don't think there's any confusion whatsoever, but okay.
	But obviously, I mean, this is what I had with the MTV.com lawsuit.
	Everyone said, oh, well, you know, obviously you'll never win against Viacom because they can just keep you in court forever.
	And I said, oh, yeah, watch this.
	You know, then I went to Liz Smith and started bitching and moaning, and it ended real quick.
	So, from the Gitmo Nation...
	Department of Transportation, our Transportation Security Administration, we learned something very interesting this week.
	A guy was going through the checkpoint and his laptop kept going off.
	You know how they swab it down and are looking for, I guess, certain explosive materials?
	What would they be looking for?
	Sulfur?
	What would they be sniffing?
	When they swab?
	Yeah, they swab and they put that disc into their little reader there.
	What do you think they're swabbing for?
	Well, I would think they'd be swabbing for various components of a bomb.
	In other words, something like ammonium nitrate, perhaps, or some other kind of accelerators, perchlorates.
	For some perchlorates.
	Hey, you got some baby formula.
	How about glycerin?
	What?
	Glycerin, would that count?
	Well, I mean, well, glycerin per se, I mean, could be used.
	I mean, glycerin is, of course, a direct component of nitroglycerin, which could be manufactured as a liquid bomb.
	So...
	But glycerin is also a common thing that people use for...
	Let me help you.
	Here's what we learned.
	So the TSA agent, they swab this thing down a couple of times.
	They keep getting these readings and say, do you use hand lotion when you use this computer?
	No.
	Of course.
	We all use hand lotion on our computers from time to time, don't we?
	So you've got to be careful because that glycerin registered on this swab.
	Weird.
	I think it's funny.
	Yeah, I guess.
	I mean, it just makes you wonder how much, you know, this guy could have had a massive hand lotion issue with his computer.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Well, some people, you know, some people have dry hands and they're just constantly, you know, using stuff on their hands.
	John, get real.
	Come on.
	We all know what the lotion's for.
	Oh, you're thinking he's using it because he's using the laptop as a masturbatory helper.
	Hello, hello, hello.
	And he's like looking at more.
	Yeah, and it's like splattering all over the stuff.
	And he's got so much stuff on his hands every time he hits the back and forth button.
	He's literally splattering gobs of lotion on his keyboard.
	Yeah, well, hopefully that's all.
	A follow-up on last week's story.
	Thank you for posting this in the drop, noagendadrop.com, whoever did this.
	A German soldier who stole a bike in the Dutch city of Nykirk at the end of the Second World War regrets 64 years later and has paid back for his crime.
	There we have it.
	The war is officially over.
	The German brought the bike back.
	Isn't that great?
	It's about time.
	I personally have taken an interest in this, as you know.
	Yes.
	So, kind of the big news, I think that's kind of under-reported.
	We ran it on the blog, and then I think somebody mentioned it on a tweet.
	I should give them credit, but I don't have it in front of me.
	But...
	There was four cuts of various fiber optic cables in the South Bay.
	Yeah, I read about that.
	Someone's been deliberately cutting cables?
	Is that what I was to understand?
	Yeah, and they're done in different places, and people entered a manhole and then found the cable, and then I don't know if they used bolt cutters probably, and they just clipped it.
	And they did it in various areas.
	Not like, you know, here's one.
	It's like a concerted effort.
	And I was of the opinion, and I think I wrote about this in Market Watch, that it looks like to me to be a test of the network, of the grid.
	That somebody's clipping here and clipping there to see what happens, and they clip here to see what happens, and they clip here and here to see what happens kind of thing.
	Really?
	Yeah, and it took out like the South Bay, 50,000 people lost.
	They lost internet, they lost landline, and they lost cell phone service.
	Because cell phones are, you know, those towers are hooked to something, right?
	Yeah.
	And so it turned, it took all telecommunications down in the area for hours because it takes forever to re-splice one of these things.
	Because, you know, it has to be done by hand and it's like a little process.
	Well, there's so much weird shit going on, you know, with that FBI raid on the data center.
	Yeah, but here's the other thing that's interesting.
	So I made this supposition.
	I just mentioned, I said, you know, is this possibly some sort of a, you know, a prelude to a terrorist thing?
	I mean, it just seemed too weird.
	9-11, yeah.
	Cyber 9-11.
	So somebody twitters me and says, hey, this happened in South Carolina, underreported.
	And now I'm wondering where is it?
	You see where I'm headed with this?
	Yeah, well, absolutely.
	Absolutely.
	It's like local news that is not, you know, there's some, what's wrong with this picture?
	Because it's all happening at the same time and it's probably happening here and there.
	And now they don't want anyone talking about it.
	And these were major backbones then, or I guess local loop backbones?
	I think they were just local loop backbones.
	I don't think it was like any of the big chunks.
	But I mentioned the following in the column.
	It's worth reiterating.
	You know, the ease in which, I mean, people say, well, you know, they're refineries or, you know, it could be bombed and all this other stuff.
	Yeah, if you have a grenade launcher, I suppose you could, you know, blow up a tank.
	But with these things, these fiber networks are very clearly marked throughout the country.
	Like around here.
	It's like a cut along dotted line kind of type stuff.
	I mean, like the cable that I'm on, Uh, is, uh, clearly marked out on the street.
	And there's a big, the biggest cable that we have, and I think this is the, kind of the backbone cable, which runs along Highway 101.
	If you go driving along the back roads up in the middle of nowhere, you'll see these, you know, these big, uh, like flags.
	And the reason, of course, is they mark these things so some bonehead doesn't come along.
	Yeah, it doesn't backhoe them, yeah, of course.
	Right, backhoe, rip the thing out.
	And so they, and there, you know, you'd also would probably flip the backhoe.
	But the, um, But they're marked all over the place, and I guess the ones that were in the, that the guy got into the manhole cover, and the way they described it was, well, you know, he had a special tool to open the manhole cover.
	I don't know, what tool is there?
	It's called a crowbar, isn't it?
	It's just a hook?
	Whatever it is, it's like whatever it is, it's obtainable.
	It's like a roller skate key or something, like slip.
	No, it's not like any special tool.
	So anyway, but the manhole, I think I've seen them, some of them are clearly marked, you know, fiber, you know, do not, you know, be careful.
	And then in some places you see like paint in the street, you know, like white paint showing where the cable is.
	So this is an incredibly vulnerable backbone system in this USA in terms of somebody who wants to start cutting cables.
	And I don't know, I think something's up.
	I like your assertion.
	But no one suggests terrorism.
	I mentioned it.
	Why doesn't somebody at least suggest it?
	That there's some terrorist activity going on, perhaps.
	Because it's not on the agenda.
	The press kit hasn't been sent out yet.
	I guess that's true.
	It's as clear as possible, yeah.
	But anyway, this is disturbing.
	I'm assuming now that there's places all over the country where these incidents have happened.
	All right, so you've got to let us know if this has happened near you.
	If anybody listening to this show has information about the cables.
	There's also, by the way, something new where you can talk about this stuff called noagendaforums.com.
	We have nothing to do with it.
	We didn't set it up, but of course promote it wholeheartedly.
	So that might be a good place to go and post some messages.
	Yeah, it would be good.
	But anyway, so I'm a little bit concerned about that.
	Yeah, concerned about that.
	And it should be, because if I, like up here, although there's, you know, we have unlikely anything's going on, but because it's up here, you know, if I lose this cable, I mean, we lose our cell phones bad enough up here, and then you lose your landline, your, I can't do the broadcast.
	Oh, no.
	Oh, no.
	Wait, now it's time to panic.
	Wow.
	And you also have to wonder about the smart grid.
	Well, of course, the obvious conclusion is that's a part of it.
	This is the test, and then we're going to get our 9-11 cyber terror event, which, by the way, I think is pretty much documented that that's going to happen.
	I mean, it's all in the planning.
	So whether it's Configur or whether it's multiple cuts simultaneously, then that'll be the reason to shift more money towards the smart grid and buy your router now.
	We tested it out with those damn stupid digital TV boxes.
	Hey, here's another credit card.
	Go get your special router, which will also protect your children.
	John Stewart really did a disappointing piece the other day.
	I don't know if you saw this.
	Where he showed his typical run of clips of Fox News, mainly of Fox News, talking about this terror fascist state that we're entering, which of course is true.
	Because the definition of fascism is the government running corporations or vice versa.
	Corporatism.
	Corporatism, yeah.
	Just look at what happened at General Motors.
	It just kicked the guy out.
	So that is the definition right there.
	And Stuart goes into this long thing about, no, you guys should shut up.
	If you guys lose, then you have to expect it to be different and not going the way you want it to go.
	I'm like, oh man, this is so wrong.
	He doesn't even see it.
	What are we now?
	The deficit is projected $13 trillion.
	Where is it coming from?
	I'm looking at these beautiful children out by the pool.
	They're going to pay for that?
	They're fucking lazy.
	They're not going to pay jack shit.
	Enjoy the pool now, kiddies.
	There's a lot.
	Which is another thing we have.
	We have our deli up here.
	We have the hardest time getting anyone that actually wants to work.
	The kids don't want to work, right?
	They just want to chill out.
	Chillax.
	I'm telling you.
	And I'm not the only one that's observed this.
	And they're not interested in learning anything.
	The idea of apprenticeship is long dead.
	They have no skills.
	They don't learn anything in school.
	It's basically a babysitting service.
	Luckily, my daughter, who we homeschooled, finally decided she had to go to a high school to get her...
	Which, of course, is illegal in California.
	It's close to it.
	I mean, it's hard to homeschool in California, but we're licensed in Washington State, which you actually get taken out of a special permit.
	And then they test the kids.
	And Washington State is great for homeschooling.
	And anyways, we homeschool, and now she goes to a regular high school, and she's just getting straight A's.
	Of course!
	It's like falling off a log.
	In fact, both my wife and myself are kind of, like, amazed because she's, like, put so much effort into all this homework assignment.
	She's up till one in the morning working on a PowerPoint presentation for something.
	You know, and then she forces herself to get up in the morning when she didn't get enough sleep.
	And...
	Because she's got to get to school.
	And, of course, she's a grouch.
	Of course.
	Say no more.
	I mean, jeez.
	But at least she's a straight-A grouch.
	So, you know, what can I say?
	Oh, my goodness.
	It's amazing.
	But, you know, the rest of the kids...
	So it's clear.
	And we have a plan for that as well.
	We're going to throw these kids into camp for three months.
	And we'll kick their asses into shape.
	We'll condition them.
	We'll get them ready.
	Can you imagine what that's going to be like?
	These kids will, like, wreck the place.
	And Michelle Bachman, God bless the woman.
	She's on almost every, I'm sure, extremely conservative talk radio show talking about these camps and how this enslavement can't continue because, of course, the bills have been introduced.
	Already passed the house.
	You know, to actually have camps to send your children to, mandatory camps.
	And she's getting, and I gotta call it right now, there's massive, massive sexual discrimination going on against her.
	You know, if this were a guy, they would respond differently.
	I mean, the people are just calling her the kooky milf, you know, the kooky cougar, which I think is kind of a cool name, by the way.
	The kooky cougar.
	You know, it's so wrong.
	And she's actually, you know, she's a senator.
	I think.
	Or congresswoman.
	No, she's just congresswoman.
	You know, a little bit of respect.
	And she's saying some important stuff.
	But it's just, you know, just call her kooky.
	Go back to the pool.
	Throw on some Bob Marley tapes.
	It's all good.
	Yeah.
	Insert nothing to see here.
	Jingle here.
	So anyway, so it is an issue.
	And of course I always hearken back on my own childhood when I had a paper route, which of course they killed that idea.
	Another vocation that has gone away.
	Long gone.
	Actually, I had two paper routes, as a matter of fact.
	Yeah, I had my paper route, man.
	I had a paper route and one I had the shopper route, which is the easy money one.
	Now, did you grow into your paper route where you knew that you were...
	Because in my neighborhood, it was like an ascension type thing.
	I knew when I would turn 15 that I would be taking that guy's paper route.
	It was my domain.
	Because I'm so damned old, I don't remember how I got the paper route.
	But I think that mechanism did exist.
	Because somebody had to have the paper route before me.
	And what was cool about my paper route, which is kind of a mercantile way of looking at it, is that I had what was called a rural route.
	And a rural route is the one where you have to pedal out to the farmers in the middle of nowhere.
	So you'd be pedaling and pedaling and pedaling.
	And you finally get to this one guy and he gets a paper.
	And then you have to pedal out another mile.
	Well, of course.
	That's your starter route.
	You get the shit route first.
	What was cool about my rural route, but by the way, you got a lot more money, like twice as much.
	Yeah.
	And what was cool about my rural route is that in the section that was deemed rural, they put in a housing development.
	Ah, excellent.
	And I got the whole thing.
	Yeah, you got the mother load.
	Yeah, perfect.
	Basically, I hit the gold mine.
	So I got paid rural, and I was just like the regular paper route, in fact.
	Except for the two farmers I still had to go deliver to that were left.
	But then, you know, kids don't do that.
	And you had to go door to door.
	And there's two things you had to do.
	And this is another thing.
	People never learn these skills.
	Because the problem is nobody's been introduced to anything at an early age anymore.
	So by the time they're graduating from high school or even college, they're kind of baffled by it all.
	Zero work experience.
	We had to solicit everybody to take the paper.
	Door-to-door.
	And it was like door-to-door sales, which is also something that's kind of gone by the wayside.
	Yeah, all of that still exists.
	The work experience, they call it, at the U.K. school.
	People do sell things door-to-door.
	You have special licenses, and they come by all the typical brushes, miracle, whipped cream, whatever.
	That is still here in the U.K., The only time you see it here anymore is with the kind of ghetto kids who have been somehow suckered into selling magazine subscriptions door to door.
	So anyway, I haven't seen anything since then.
	Except that and people with the other door-to-door thing we have here to an extreme are people with petitions.
	You know, or people begging for money for one thing or another.
	You know, especially during election cycles.
	But anyway, so we had to go door-to-door-to-door, you know, begging people to take the newspaper.
	And so, of course, you'd get so many.
	You'd have a big area and then it'd be like, say, 50 houses and you got two.
	For people to subscribe.
	So they'd send out the expert, the guy.
	I forget who he's called an expert.
	They had a name for him.
	And he was always like, oh, God, this guy.
	He was a professional salesman who would come and he would say, kid, you don't know what you're doing.
	And then you'd have to go through the same process with him, door to door.
	He'd show you the ropes.
	The ropes, this guy.
	It's like he came close to pulling a gun out and making people buy the paper.
	I mean, it was like one after another.
	It was like, you know, where I went.
	No sale, no sale, no sale, no sale.
	It's a hard sell guy.
	And he's just bang, bang, bang, bang.
	Just everybody subscribes when he's done.
	And you go, wow, this guy can sell.
	And then you go, you still try it.
	You still sucked.
	It's a fractal of Wall Street in the boiler rooms.
	Yeah.
	Exactly.
	And so anyway, so this guy would get your route numbers way up.
	And so, of course, he still wouldn't correct the rural thing.
	And then the other thing you had to do as a paperboy is you had to go...
	Well, every year at Christmastime, you got to go around with your envelopes.
	Hey, Merry Christmas.
	Happy Holidays.
	And you stay out there smiling.
	Yeah, there was something like that.
	But the thing is, every month you had to go around to everyone.
	Oh, to collect.
	Yeah, to collect.
	Oh, that sucked because the people weren't home and all kinds of crap.
	And you had this little receipt book that was essentially a bunch of little squares.
	We had some automation when I was doing my paper route.
	Did you have like a little tablet of clay that you chiseled in a mark next to the map?
	What the hell?
	No, you had this little bitty receipt, but with these little bitty receipts that were just the size of a postage stamp, and you'd tear one off each person.
	Yeah, you paid.
	And you had this, like, leather thing that you put the money in.
	And I was, like, the one thing I was never very good at was organizing the money.
	And I still to this day remember some guy, as I'm fumbling around trying to make change for this guy, the guy says to me, you know, you handle your money like a drunken sailor.
	Yeah.
	And that's always stuck with me because I realize that I do.
	And to this day...
	To this day, you still do.
	I didn't deal with this.
	Hey, I just wanted to mention something from Gitmo Nation East because I love the story.
	And I'm desperately trying to track down any shred of evidence, but man, this one's just killing me.
	And I'd always wondered where the name came from, and finally I have some clues.
	Apparently, so we had the big G20 protest, and everyone was in London, and that was the big show, and all the anchors were there on the street and coming to you live from the G20. And then everyone just went over to Strasbourg.
	You know, they went to Brussels for a day or two, then they went to Strasbourg, which I guess is where all the really shady shit takes place, because apparently, on the evening of the 3rd of April, 500 of the world's elite attended the Black Mass at the Cathedral of Our Lady Strasbourg, the Black Mass, of course, also known as Black Sabbath.
	And I'd always wondered where that name came from.
	And so this and Pope Benedict, what is it?
	The 16th?
	I don't know.
	Something.
	Whatever.
	He did the mass and, you know, it's really shrouded in secrecy.
	And this cathedral has a whole history behind it.
	But it was President Obama and the First Lady, Gordon Brown, Sarkozy.
	Of course, Tony Blair.
	I don't know.
	converted to Catholicism just recently, as did Newt Gingrich, who was there.
	So, you know, and the story is that they were all, you know, come together because, you know, finally, you know, they worshiped the Mother Earth God, whatever, because the Earth is about to be reset.
	Where are you getting this stuff?
	They're Russian news sources.
	Russian news sources.
	Black Sabbath.
	I have not heard of this.
	Yeah, so this is brand new.
	I just read this today.
	Black Sabbath and they're all there.
	Now we'll carve up the virgin.
	Yes, exactly.
	Well, that's called the honorism or something like that.
	It used to be where they'd perform sexual rituals and then I think eventually kill the honoree.
	I think that's where roasted came from, from a roast.
	Did those guys actually throw you on the spit?
	So the end is nigh.
	That's the basic conclusion of when the Black Sabbath takes place.
	The end of times.
	Then they will begin to say to the mountains, fall on us, and to the hills, cover us.
	Because, of course, the elite are all going underground in Paraguay.
	And they're building bunkers.
	Bunker building is big business these days.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, just Google it, man.
	You'll see people are building bunkers all over the place.
	What are you going to do in the bunker that you can't do outside?
	Well, you know, I don't know.
	Maybe hide from the bird flu.
	I think we should create some pandemonium and get these guys in the bunker and lock them in there.
	Maybe these great leaders don't realize that there's another layer that they're missing out on, and once they're in the bunkers, they get locked in.
	It turns out to be a giant prison.
	Well, of course.
	I mean, there's a whole level that is definitely going to get screwed.
	All these TSA guys, all the police forces, everyone with a uniform who thinks that they're going to be a part of the New World Order control, no way.
	You're just puppets.
	You're going to get fucking annihilated.
	They're going to fry you with their EMP weapons.
	But then the question is, who is they?
	Who is they?
	Well, they as the same guys who have the audacity to now directly target webcam strippers for tax purposes.
	What was this again?
	Yes, it's a BBC News report.
	Okay, tell me about it.
	Well, webcam stripping is so lucrative that the Swedish tax authorities are now going after the estimated 3 million pounds annually lost in tax revenue.
	Wait, you're talking about girls going on the webcam?
	Yeah, and stripping for money, yeah.
	So now they have to pay tax on it.
	Yeah, you've never seen that?
	That's what webcams are for.
	I actually got one of them on right now.
	You've got to get through the show somehow.
	I understand.
	So my son is telling me about one of the weird underground things that's going on currently in England regarding street cams.
	Oh?
	It's, he says that there's the, the people are putting on entire, uh, plays and a complete, you know, whole, like whole TV shows in on specifically aimed at the street camps, picking them up, doing something on, and then, then requesting from the government.
	Yeah.
	The freedom of, yeah, this started with a music video, uh, Some guys basically performed their song in all these different locations, including a bus, and then they indeed sent a Freedom for Information request to the government.
	They had the time codes and everything, and they got it all, and they put the music video together.
	I didn't know that they were doing this with plays now.
	That's awesome.
	Yeah, they're apparently doing it with plays and short stories.
	They're doing them in front of these cameras.
	I guess they have microphones so you can hear the guys.
	And they have it all time-coded, so then they ask for freedom of information.
	That's awesome.
	Give them the copy, and then they edit it.
	That's awesome.
	But it's like, the government's going to cost a fortune.
	You know, I mean, it just seems to me that the whole thing is idiotic.
	Not that the kids thing is funny, but I'm saying the government is taking...
	Yeah, there was a report that came out just the other week in the UK, the guy responsible for all the procurement of the cameras.
	And I think it's, what is it, there's 40 cameras for every person in the United Kingdom.
	And you're recorded four hours a day wherever you walk in the entire British Isles.
	And it turns out that this camera network is only responsible for like less than 1% of all crimes solved.
	And so the obvious reason for this report is to say, well, we're on the right track.
	We just need some more investment.
	And then we'll be up to 2%.
	You need more cameras.
	Yeah, more cameras.
	Even here in Portugal, I was reading in a local rag, they're doing all these tests now, rolling out government CCTV programs.
	It's everywhere.
	Orwell was only off by 25 years.
	Didn't do too bad, did he?
	That's pretty close, but the funny thing is about all these kids, the guys who sell these cameras must be in seventh heaven.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's big business.
	Because there's all the add-in third-party stuff like face recognition software, which doesn't work.
	Well, in the UK, some of it does work.
	They use the same technology they use for tracking sport players on a field.
	Some of that works.
	They use some of that.
	Well, it doesn't work as well as it does on CSI. Yeah.
	No.
	There's two things I've always been amused by.
	Some of the things you see on TV. I think a lot of it is just to completely befuddle actual criminals who watch these shows because, let's face it, they watch these shows.
	And the one, of course, which myself, I've talked about, my kids and I, we all think it's hilarious when it happens, which is keep them on the phone.
	Keep them on the phone for 30 seconds so we can trace the call.
	Yeah, they still do that.
	They still do that as a gimmick.
	I would not use that as a gimmick in a screenplay.
	For one thing, it's bogus.
	As soon as you receive the call, all the information is there instantly because it's all in the header nowadays.
	And of the phone call.
	I mean, the phone call's got all the information on it.
	Right, bang, immediately.
	So you wouldn't have to keep anyone in the line for more than two, you know, dead all.
	Just once they connect, you've got the information you want.
	Of course.
	Call her ID, dude.
	I mean, how hard is it?
	Tap into that shit.
	It's like, keep them on the line for two hours.
	Oh, damn.
	And then they shake their heads.
	No, no, we didn't get it.
	It's like, hey, buddy, this is like you're stalling here on the story.
	Let's get back to the plot line.
	Drat the luck.
	And the other one, of course, which is the real one that's just a total eye roller.
	Is the DNA. The DNA is already ready in seconds.
	The DNA is done same day somehow.
	Same day turnaround service.
	Yeah, there's the DNA. It's like within hours, here they come.
	No, I always love the analysis.
	They pop it on the screen.
	It's like, oh, it matches.
	Yes.
	There you go.
	The other one, the one I was thinking of, I forgot about the DNA, is the photo enhancement.
	Oh, yeah.
	Zoom in.
	Okay, can you clean that up a bit?
	Yeah.
	Who's that behind the wheel?
	You know, they go, oh, what's his name?
	Let's get the license plate.
	You're so right, but you're so wrong.
	This is meant to condition you.
	This is meant to get you ready, to prepare you, to become...
	That is now already a part of our reality.
	People believe it happens that way.
	So it's just conditioning.
	So you don't even have to...
	At that point, who needs the cameras with the face recognition?
	People are walking around saying, hey, man, I better not do that because if I leave my DNA, these guys will have it and one day turn around service.
	I better not be walking there because they can recognize my face and track me forever.
	That's beautiful.
	Yeah, well, I don't think it's a plot, but whatever the case is, you're probably right on a base level, but that's why we're here.
	Yes.
	I'm glad you brought that up.
	Which is why now we have our two minutes to sell people on the idea that they should be donating to this show.
	Dvorak.org slash NA or No Agenda Library.
	We need all the help we can get.
	I have a bunch of new people, by the way, who contributed a goodly amount of money, including one, and I'm going to give a teaser here.
	One guy, and we'll talk about this on Thursday when I have access to the PayPal account, one guy gave us $1.68 followed by a donation of $88.88.
	Try to figure out why.
	And there's also been a number of other odd screwball donations.
	Help me with that one.
	88, 88, 168, is that what you said?
	Yeah.
	What, do I have to add them up or something?
	The, um, no.
	The way I saw it was, here's what I interpreted, I will do this one.
	I interpreted that he had, um, he, okay, he's Chinese, and his last name is Che, C-H-E, and, um, I figured he had 8, 8, 8, 8, because that's the Chinese lucky number.
	And then I thought 168 was double a Chinese lucky number, so he had 8, 8, 8, 8 plus two more 8s and another 8.
	And if you added them all up, it was like the square root of 8.
	If you add it all up, it equals 9-11.
	I had some crackpot during these days.
	So I actually sent him a note saying, what is this?
	And he said that we never, and I didn't know this at all, that 168 It's actually another Chinese lucky number besides eight.
	And he explained it vaguely like this.
	The way you pronounce eight in Chinese means money.
	And 168, the way you pronounce it...
	Oh, my goodness.
	I mean, the Chinese are real into this kind of stuff.
	They're wacky, man.
	They're just wacky.
	I figured that we should be soliciting somebody, because no one's done this.
	Once again, it comes down to the Chinese.
	If it's not for our economy, for this show, for the nights of the No Agenda Roundtable, we have to go to the Chinese.
	$168 would be appreciated.
	So they should give us $8,888,888, and that will be enough for us to stop the show.
	Well, I guess we could make a compromise, yeah.
	That would be a good number.
	And somebody else did something, which I'll mention on Thursday or reiterate.
	He says, I want it clear that I'm only donating to the show, and it was like, I think, $50 or $100, he said, to get you off the air.
	And then he mentioned that it was for the purposes of, in case our list is ever investigated, he wants it on record, that he wants us off the air.
	So when the lists come, you know, when people make their...
	Oh, right, right, right, right.
	So like the Nadoff list, when it's floating around the internet, so it doesn't get incriminated.
	I got it.
	So I'm going to create another category on the donation page.
	We should make it a race.
	Whoever gets the $10 million first determines whether we stay on or leave.
	But I'm going to have a different category so people can donate to get us off the air and it would be official.
	I think that's a great idea.
	We could also make the whole thing about getting...
	John, think about this.
	Why don't we just reverse the whole idea?
	Our goal is $10 million, right?
	And we're going to work very, very, very, very hard to get to that goal.
	And when we reach that goal, then we stop.
	Then it's over.
	Yeah, that's probably not a bad idea.
	That could be the model of the future.
	Get these guys off the air.
	I'm telling you, it's the model of the future.
	It's perfect.
	Get rid of them.
	I got a brew on this one.
	I'm liking it.
	I think there's something there.
	Yeah, well, that and the knighthood, so anyway.
	Yeah, of course.
	Any more mentions in our last 15 seconds?
	No, I just think what should be mentioned is noagendalibrary.com and dvorak.org slash NA. Please help us out so we can go to three shows a week.
	And then, of course, eventually get kicked off the air.
	Get off the air, yeah.
	So the next step is three shows a week.
	Then, of course, we want to go to four.
	And now that we have a goal, we can set the steps.
	I think this is actually much better.
	We can't become so big that we start to suck because our destiny is predetermined.
	We're going to die.
	Our show will end at that mark.
	I think this is brilliant.
	Yeah.
	I'm sorry.
	I think it's like a government agency.
	They always set themselves up.
	Well, we're going to be only doing this for the next decade.
	Yeah, exactly.
	And then the next thing you know, they're in business forever and there's just some dull thing that keeps continuing.
	Yeah, we should be off the air.
	We should get off the air.
	We can't sustain this.
	No.
	We're too interesting.
	Case in point, Moody's Which, of course, is one of the well-known rating agencies of, I guess, bonds in particular, or all types of debt, has essentially downgraded the entire country.
	At least they're honest about it.
	They've placed a negative outlook on all municipal bonds, every single one, not singling any of them out, just all of them.
	Screw it.
	Isn't bonds pretty much what the country floats on?
	Isn't that like our main tool?
	Well, yeah, pretty much.
	You know, Andrew Horowitz has talked about in one of our shows, one of the Unplugged shows, that he sees no problem shorting, especially New York, bonds as a short.
	Right, shorting his own country.
	It's the patriotic way to go.
	Shorting your own country.
	This is like when Bill Gates made the big announcement.
	This was a few years ago, and I have to give him credit because I thought it was irksome when he did it.
	But this is when the dollar, I think, was around 90 cents in terms of...
	To the euro?
	Yeah.
	It was in good shape.
	Yeah.
	He says he's getting out of the dollar.
	Yeah.
	Thanks.
	Thanks, Bill.
	He's a religious man.
	America made him what he is, and he's bailing on the dollar.
	And I thought it was deplorable.
	If he was going to do it, he shouldn't have said anything.
	But I thought it was just a bad move.
	But he cleaned up.
	You know who his idol is?
	His idol is George Soros, who did exactly that with the British pound.
	That's what these guys do, man.
	Well, his real idol is Buffett, but...
	I thought Soros...
	I don't know how tidy is Soros.
	Is Soros tight with anybody?
	I'd like to meet Soros.
	Soros.
	He seems like a guy that would take several meetings before you get through any of that outer layer to find anything out.
	Yeah, but I think it'd be worth the trouble.
	Because I bet you he's got some funny things.
	I mean, he's got to have some observations that are just riotous.
	Well, yeah, I mean...
	Well, I believe he's one of them, okay?
	That's where I put him.
	Yeah, one of them.
	He is definitely one of them.
	He's going to lock the gates on those guys that go into the bunkers.
	That would be the kind of...
	Well, you know, Soros has a very interesting past.
	I think, if I understand his...
	He wrote a book, and I read an excerpt, so...
	He's written a number of books.
	Well, yes, but there was a book about his childhood, I believe, because doesn't he come from...
	Somewhere near Austria?
	Or Hungary or somewhere.
	Hungary, right.
	And I believe that he actually put Jews on trains to be shipped off to concentration camps.
	The guy's got a really interesting past.
	I'm not saying that he was a Nazi or that he was doing anything other than just following orders.
	But he comes from an interesting place.
	And he's got a lot of these OSI, the Open Society Institute.
	He was in Budapest, Hungary, and he was born in 1930.
	So in 1940, when they were shipped, he was only 10.
	He could have been 12 years old.
	That's the context around that age.
	With his dad, he was doing that.
	I should look into it.
	We should.
	What else?
	He frightens me.
	That OSI has been linked to weapons.
	George Soros is the son of...
	Of course, this is Wikipedia.
	Esperantist writer.
	Stividar Soros.
	Timidar, also known as Teodoro, was a Hungarian Jew and was a prisoner of war during and after World War I and eventually escaped from Russia and rejoined his family in Budapest or Budapest.
	I might have my story completely wrong.
	I don't know.
	I could be way off the mark.
	But the thing that's interesting is about, it says George was taught to speak Esperanto from birth.
	and is thus one of the few rare native Esperanto speakers.
	By the way, Esperanto, when I was a kid, it was a crazy movement to create this, this is like the Chinese or somebody trying to create a universal currency.
	This is why these things don't work. - I remember this in school.
	I remember there was a rumor going around that we would all have to learn Esperanto.
	I'm like, what?
	The problem was the French wanted to be the political monopoly on language for a long, long time.
	English, of course, I believe the second most spoken language on the planet.
	And they came up with this wacky Esperanto, which is kind of, you've got to pull some Spanish in there.
	It was like Spanglish.
	Yeah, well, I mean, I think there are probably more native Klingon speakers than there are Esperanto speakers.
	Klingon, which is a genuine language.
	It's a real language.
	I know, I know, I know.
	In fact, there was a guy that did his paper recently, some paper, and he's like a major theorist of physics, and he demanded that they produce a Klingon version so people could look at it and think, what a bunch of crackpots.
	Anyway, this to me, because Esperano got nowhere in terms of this universal language.
	You can't even get, and this is why I think the universal currency thing is a dead end.
	You can't get people to agree on anything.
	Ever since I was a kid, and we all know about it, it's a lot of time.
	In the morning!
	Oh, I found it.
	You found it.
	You saved the show.
	Time to end the show.
	Yeah.
	Ever since I was a kid, there's this, we're going to go to the metric system.
	Oh, yeah.
	You know, in the USA, old metric system.
	And I've had people, like, just a few years ago say, oh, yeah, no, no, no.
	The eight and a half by 11, forget it.
	A4. Everyone's going to A4. By the way, which I believe, A4, is an unpleasant shape for a piece of paper.
	Yes, it's not a, what do you call it, it's not a golden measurement.
	No, it's not a golden nothing, it's too long.
	That ain't golden nothing.
	Hi everybody, welcome to John C. Dvorak's Golden Nothing.
	You're right, the dimensions are all screwy, and it's like long and stupid.
	Ah, the perils of A4, yes.
	The size we love to hate.
	But what everyone was going to go away for is going to be a university standard because, you know, these various organizations are going to standardize it.
	And my favorite one, I think this was in the late 90s, I remember somebody, by the way, Anyone who's ever met me knows that I get this befuddled look on my face where I'm like, what are you talking about?
	Somebody was claiming to me, oh yes, no, the international organizations are going to take A4 and metric is going to be the takeover.
	And in fact, if you're not producing all your documents in A4, you will be banned from trading on the international markets.
	Yeah.
	Well, I will tell you things have changed, John, that in the United Kingdom there have been some serious kind of flagrations where shop owners just refused to step away from imperial measurements and use the metric system.
	And they've been threatened with lawsuits, shutdowns.
	I mean, it's crazy.
	What's wrong with a foot?
	I think the concession that the United States made, and I think is okay, even though I don't like it personally because I'm an old guy, is the fact that we went in sports, in track and field, to the 100-meter dash instead of the 100-yard dash.
	Luckily, I'm surprised somebody hasn't had a movement to change the length of a football field from 100 yards to 100 meters.
	Yeah.
	I do like the metric system.
	It does have its advantages because, you know, 18 centimeters just sounds so much better, you know?
	Yeah, that sounds fantastic.
	I mean, 18 centimeters.
	So anyway, it's 18 centimeters long.
	Exactly.
	So that's an inch?
	What are you going to quibble about an inch?
	So there's a bunch of jokes in there.
	So the point is that that's why I have no confidence that a universal currency exists.
	When you can't get the United States to adopt A4, or the metric system in particular.
	Okay, well, you know, and you bring this up at the end of the show, so we can't get into a huge debate.
	But the international currency will be a spreadsheet currency only, and it's called the SDR right now.
	It's the Special Drawing Rights, and it will become the gold standard for our crappy dollar and toilet white pound, you know, and then this euro thingy that's floating around.
	That's the currency.
	The actual coin in your pocket doesn't matter because that's all it is.
	It's just a belief system no matter what you put behind it.
	Here we go.
	That's why I gots my gold.
	I gots my gold.
	I'm good.
	I'm just saying that these universal movements, well, everyone's going to do this, everyone's going to do that.
	It's just that they don't fly because people are just like these British shopkeepers.
	No, they used to not fly.
	Now they're flying because the clampdown is here.
	They've got all these concessions.
	The police state is here.
	So now they can do it.
	That's what the Lisbon Treaty is all about.
	The laws are in place.
	You don't want to comply, you stupid slave.
	We'll show you.
	That's what's happening.
	Well...
	People should be up in arms about this.
	Exactly.
	I don't have our regular theme music with me for some reason.
	Can we hum us?
	Do we have to hum?
	I brought the harpsichord.
	Doesn't quite do it, does it?
	It sounds like we're ending some offish show about classical music.
	And this was Vivaldi in 14 Movements.
	I want to thank my co-host, John Leviola Dvorak.
	My name is Adam Curry.
	So, I guess this is the end.
	I'm John C. Dvorak here in Gitmo Nation, Pacific Northwest.
	And we'll be back again next week.
	Or no, Thursday.
	Thursday.

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