All Episodes
Previous Next
Feb. 17, 2024 - The Matt Walsh Show
05:43
Is Shaq Right About Women? [Weekly Walsh Original]

Shaq went viral for his comments about the relationships between men and women. Is he right?

| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
We're going to talk about male-female relationship dynamics again, as we often do during this segment of the show.
But this time, it will be the first time that the conversation begins with Shaquille O'Neal.
Recently, Shaq made some comments on his podcast, that he apparently has a podcast.
During the course of the conversation, the NBA legend cautioned men that they should never be emotionally vulnerable in front of a woman.
Ever, under any circumstance, according to him.
Here's his reasoning.
Watch.
Yeah, once you start complaining and dragging your feet... She don't want to hear no complaints.
The day you come home and think you could be like, baby, I was down.
I lost it.
She gonna stroke your ego, but she gonna remember that time.
You cannot let them see you one time down.
The world can't see your head down one time.
Ever.
So I'd step you straight up.
I want you both to know that you can.
No.
And I know that you've... Cannot.
I don't want to get into like Dr. Phil shit right now.
No, but I think... You don't think you've ever had someone that you really could trust and really open up?
Now, if you want to keep... Now, if you want to give somebody else some coochie all the time, you know what I'm saying?
I'm saying if you want to bail, I'm just being real here.
No, I get it.
Open up to a woman?
Yeah.
Never.
No.
Never.
When's the last time you think you've opened up to a woman?
We don't.
Yeah, your whole life.
Bro, I'm telling you.
Yeah, got players like, I can, me and him related.
Yeah.
That's the first time meeting, but I just... Yeah, I can tell you guys, there's some connection here.
Oh, no.
And they gonna tell you, you can't.
Because you know why?
Because once you do...
Whenever something goes down, they're going to throw it back in your face.
That's what I've heard.
That's what.
So you can't ever.
That's why you cry because your dad left you.
So you should never open up to a woman because if you do, the woman will store that moment away in her brain and throw it back in your face at some point in the future.
That's the argument Shaq is making.
Interestingly, there's one guy of the three who initially takes the position that you can and should be emotionally
vulnerable with women.
But even he, by the end, admits that he has personally had the experience of having his vulnerability used against him
by a woman that he had opened up to.
"Shut the f*** up."
We should note that Shaq is divorced, and therefore not necessarily the sort of man that you should consult for
relationship advice.
He's also making a general statement that seems to be informed more by his own personal experience than by any broader insight into male-female dynamics.
But with those caveats, there is still some truth to what he's saying, and the truth is very important to understand.
First of all, some of the sort of angry reactions to Shaq's comments ironically lends validity to the very point that the angry people are arguing against.
Congratulations, you played yourself.
By Shaq saying that you can't open up to women because they'll throw it in your face, he is himself opening up.
He's obviously talking about his own experiences, and it's an experience that many men, as you can also see in the comments about this clip, have had.
So once again, we see how society says men should open up, and then a man does open up, and society responds, not like that.
It's apparently Shaq's experience that his emotions are used against him by the women in his life.
To yell at him for sharing that experience is to say that he should not have shared it, so which is it?
Hey champ, that's really interesting.
Next time, keep it to yourself.
The problem with Shaq's point is that it's too absolute.
He says, well, never open up.
Never, ever.
Well, if you never open up to a woman at all, then you'll be entirely emotionally closed off.
This is an extreme level of stoicism that even I find excessive, because your wife married a human being, not a tree stump.
You need to have some emotion, or there will be no connection, no understanding between the two of you, and then there can't be a real relationship.
But these days we've gone way too far in the other direction, right?
We've massively overcorrected, as we have with pretty much everything else.
And men are encouraged, in theory, in theory... Yes, again, in theory.
...to be completely vulnerable, to air all of their fears and anxieties, to be sensitive, to cry.
Society bids a man to be as emotional as a woman because society denies that there's any essential difference between the two.
Why?
Why is this happening to... Why?
And then, when a man accepts this invitation, he quickly discovers that it doesn't work in practice the way it works in theory.
And that's because men are supposed to be strong, resilient, self-contained, and to a large degree, though not absolutely, more stoic.
Consider this hypothetical.
Husband and wife are driving on a back road at night.
Car breaks down.
Maybe we'll throw in that you don't have cell reception.
It's a back road, so you're not able to call anybody.
The woman is frustrated, nervous, scared, maybe starts to cry.
And situations like this have played out a billion times.
There's nothing unusual about it.
Women often cry when they're frustrated, nervous, and scared.
On the other hand...
Imagine that they're driving down that same back road at night, car breaks down, and the man starts to cry.
The woman in the seat next to him could be the most dedicated feminist in the world.
She could be as progressive and supposedly enlightened as they come.
But if he cries in that situation, She will be extremely disturbed and frustrated and frankly disgusted.
And that's because regardless of what anyone claims, men are men.
They are not women.
And when push comes to shove, we expect men to act like men and not women.
So does that mean that he can't open up?
No, it doesn't always mean that.
He can open up sometimes, to some extent, but if he opens up so much and so often that he begins to project a sense of weakness and instability, then he will have gone too far.
You cannot be so vulnerable as a man that those who depend on you now also feel vulnerable.
It's tough, but that's what it means to be a man.
It's the gift we give to our families.
It's the most generous kind of gift, because it's the kind that they don't even know they're receiving most of the time.
But, there's a lot of honor and dignity in that.
▲
Export Selection