The Matt Walsh Show - Is Shaq Right About Women? [Weekly Walsh Original]
Aired: 2024-02-17
Duration: 05:43


=== Shaq's Warning Against Vulnerability (04:26) ===

[00:00:00]  We're going to talk about male-female relationship dynamics again, as we often do during this segment of the show.
[00:00:05]  But this time, it will be the first time that the conversation begins with Shaquille O'Neal.
[00:00:10]  Recently, Shaq made some comments on his podcast, that he apparently has a podcast.
[00:00:15]  During the course of the conversation, the NBA legend cautioned men that they should never be emotionally vulnerable in front of a woman.
[00:00:21]  Ever, under any circumstance, according to him.
[00:00:23]  Here's his reasoning.
[00:00:24]  Watch.
[00:00:24]  Yeah, once you start complaining and dragging your feet... She don't want to hear no complaints.
[00:00:28]  The day you come home and think you could be like, baby, I was down.
[00:00:32]  I lost it.
[00:00:33]  She gonna stroke your ego, but she gonna remember that time.
[00:00:37]  You cannot let them see you one time down.
[00:00:40]  The world can't see your head down one time.
[00:00:42]  Ever.
[00:00:44]  So I'd step you straight up.
[00:00:44]  I want you both to know that you can.
[00:00:48]  No.
[00:00:48]  And I know that you've... Cannot.
[00:00:52]  I don't want to get into like Dr. Phil shit right now.
[00:00:55]  No, but I think... You don't think you've ever had someone that you really could trust and really open up?
[00:00:59]  Now, if you want to keep... Now, if you want to give somebody else some coochie all the time, you know what I'm saying?
[00:01:03]  I'm saying if you want to bail, I'm just being real here.
[00:01:05]  No, I get it.
[00:01:06]  Open up to a woman?
[00:01:07]  Yeah.
[00:01:07]  Never.
[00:01:08]  No.
[00:01:09]  Never.
[00:01:09]  When's the last time you think you've opened up to a woman?
[00:01:11]  We don't.
[00:01:13]  Yeah, your whole life.
[00:01:14]  Bro, I'm telling you.
[00:01:15]  Yeah, got players like, I can, me and him related.
[00:01:19]  Yeah.
[00:01:19]  That's the first time meeting, but I just... Yeah, I can tell you guys, there's some connection here.
[00:01:23]  Oh, no.
[00:01:24]  And they gonna tell you, you can't.
[00:01:25]  Because you know why?
[00:01:26]  Because once you do...
[00:01:29]  Whenever something goes down, they're going to throw it back in your face.
[00:01:31]  That's what I've heard.
[00:01:33]  That's what.
[00:01:33]  So you can't ever.
[00:01:34]  That's why you cry because your dad left you.
[00:01:37]  So you should never open up to a woman because if you do, the woman will store that moment away in her brain and throw it back in your face at some point in the future.
[00:01:46]  That's the argument Shaq is making.
[00:01:48]  Interestingly, there's one guy of the three who initially takes the position that you can and should be emotionally
[00:01:53]  vulnerable with women.
[00:01:54]  But even he, by the end, admits that he has personally had the experience of having his vulnerability used against him
[00:02:00]  by a woman that he had opened up to.
[00:02:02]  "Shut the f*** up."
[00:02:04]  We should note that Shaq is divorced, and therefore not necessarily the sort of man that you should consult for
[00:02:10]  relationship advice.
[00:02:11]  He's also making a general statement that seems to be informed more by his own personal experience than by any broader insight into male-female dynamics.
[00:02:18]  But with those caveats, there is still some truth to what he's saying, and the truth is very important to understand.
[00:02:23]  First of all, some of the sort of angry reactions to Shaq's comments ironically lends validity to the very point that the angry people are arguing against.
[00:02:31]  Congratulations, you played yourself.
[00:02:33]  By Shaq saying that you can't open up to women because they'll throw it in your face, he is himself opening up.
[00:02:40]  He's obviously talking about his own experiences, and it's an experience that many men, as you can also see in the comments about this clip, have had.
[00:02:48]  So once again, we see how society says men should open up, and then a man does open up, and society responds, not like that.
[00:02:54]  It's apparently Shaq's experience that his emotions are used against him by the women in his life.
[00:02:59]  To yell at him for sharing that experience is to say that he should not have shared it, so which is it?
[00:03:04]  Hey champ, that's really interesting.
[00:03:06]  Next time, keep it to yourself.
[00:03:08]  The problem with Shaq's point is that it's too absolute.
[00:03:11]  He says, well, never open up.
[00:03:12]  Never, ever.
[00:03:13]  Well, if you never open up to a woman at all, then you'll be entirely emotionally closed off.
[00:03:18]  This is an extreme level of stoicism that even I find excessive, because your wife married a human being, not a tree stump.
[00:03:25]  You need to have some emotion, or there will be no connection, no understanding between the two of you, and then there can't be a real relationship.
[00:03:31]  But these days we've gone way too far in the other direction, right?
[00:03:33]  We've massively overcorrected, as we have with pretty much everything else.
[00:03:37]  And men are encouraged, in theory, in theory... Yes, again, in theory.
[00:03:41]  ...to be completely vulnerable, to air all of their fears and anxieties, to be sensitive, to cry.
[00:03:47]  Society bids a man to be as emotional as a woman because society denies that there's any essential difference between the two.
[00:03:54]  Why?
[00:03:55]  Why is this happening to... Why?
[00:03:59]  And then, when a man accepts this invitation, he quickly discovers that it doesn't work in practice the way it works in theory.
[00:04:06]  And that's because men are supposed to be strong, resilient, self-contained, and to a large degree, though not absolutely, more stoic.

=== Men's Unspoken Gift (01:32) ===

[00:04:16]  Consider this hypothetical.
[00:04:18]  Husband and wife are driving on a back road at night.
[00:04:21]  Car breaks down.
[00:04:23]  Maybe we'll throw in that you don't have cell reception.
[00:04:26]  It's a back road, so you're not able to call anybody.
[00:04:28]  The woman is frustrated, nervous, scared, maybe starts to cry.
[00:04:32]  And situations like this have played out a billion times.
[00:04:34]  There's nothing unusual about it.
[00:04:36]  Women often cry when they're frustrated, nervous, and scared.
[00:04:39]  On the other hand...
[00:04:40]  Imagine that they're driving down that same back road at night, car breaks down, and the man starts to cry.
[00:04:46]  The woman in the seat next to him could be the most dedicated feminist in the world.
[00:04:50]  She could be as progressive and supposedly enlightened as they come.
[00:04:54]  But if he cries in that situation, She will be extremely disturbed and frustrated and frankly disgusted.
[00:05:02]  And that's because regardless of what anyone claims, men are men.
[00:05:06]  They are not women.
[00:05:07]  And when push comes to shove, we expect men to act like men and not women.
[00:05:11]  So does that mean that he can't open up?
[00:05:13]  No, it doesn't always mean that.
[00:05:15]  He can open up sometimes, to some extent, but if he opens up so much and so often that he begins to project a sense of weakness and instability, then he will have gone too far.
[00:05:24]  You cannot be so vulnerable as a man that those who depend on you now also feel vulnerable.
[00:05:30]  It's tough, but that's what it means to be a man.
[00:05:32]  It's the gift we give to our families.
[00:05:34]  It's the most generous kind of gift, because it's the kind that they don't even know they're receiving most of the time.
[00:05:40]  But, there's a lot of honor and dignity in that.