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| So now we have another occasion where Sean, my producer, has enlisted me to endure psychological and emotional abuse for your amusement. | |
| And this time we are descending into the caverns of TikTok again to explore the polyamorous community. | |
| I'm not a COVID germaphobe by any means, but this is one occasion where a mask and especially gloves, rubber gloves, might be required. | |
| So apparently on TikTok, a whole bunch of people are in open relationships, polyamorous relationships, and they've made videos advertising and explaining and defending their lifestyle. | |
| I find it so sad and pathetic that I don't think I can watch very many of | |
| them, but we'll watch maybe two or three of them just to see, just to get a little taste. And we'll | |
| start with an easy one. Let's look at this one here. Just mind your business, right. | |
| Well, except that your husband's sexual activity is your business. | |
| If you didn't intend to share in that business with him, to, in effect, make it your business exclusively, like exclusively your business, exclusively, then why did you marry him? | |
| In what sense is this even a marriage? | |
| For what reason is it a marriage? | |
| But then we go down a rabbit hole that people don't want to go down, of course, which is like now we got to come up with a definition of marriage. | |
| What is it exactly? | |
| And once you start doing that, then you're drawing lines and you might find that we're excluding certain types of relationships that you would prefer to include. | |
| And that's why we don't define it at all. | |
| And now we have to call this a marriage also. | |
| You know what this is like? | |
| It's like going into business as an accountant, and then your first client sends their tax documents over to you, and you go, whoa, wait a second. | |
| That's none of my business. | |
| Your financial information is private. | |
| Keep it to yourself. | |
| Well, yeah, it's private, but the accountant-client relationship is supposed to largely center around private information. | |
| That's the whole point. | |
| I might have lost the thread in that analogy a little bit. | |
| I don't know where I was going. | |
| I think I made a point there, I'm pretty sure. | |
| But let's keep watching. | |
| So my husband casually dropped today that he met this chick on Bumble that's only in town for a week, so we all know what that means. | |
| So I sent him a text like, babe, live your best life. | |
| If this thing goes all night, you want to go back to her Airbnb. | |
| You want to stay so that you can hit it in the morning again. | |
| Live your best life, babe. | |
| I got it here at home. | |
| Why did I do it? Because I'm such a good polyamorous wife, first of all. | |
| But also because you put that karma in the bank and then y'all girl's gonna cash it out later. | |
| If you want to be good at polyamory, you have to show up for your partner the way that you want | |
| them to show up for you. And if I had somebody rolling to town, you better believe I would want | |
| my husband to step it up. So there we go. | |
| That's really it, isn't it? | |
| That's the whole shebang, if you'll pardon the expression. | |
| Why do you have a polyamorous relationship? | |
| What's the point of an open marriage, which is a contradiction in terms? | |
| It's an oxymoron, an open marriage. | |
| Marriages are closed by definition. | |
| That's the point of them. | |
| But why do it? | |
| Well, because it's entirely self-serving. | |
| You know, that's the point. | |
| This is mutually agreed upon adultery. | |
| One adulterous spouse tolerates the adultery of the other spouse so that she has a license to behave the same way. | |
| It's also emotional blackmail at the same time. | |
| Or putting karma in the bank, as she puts it. | |
| Again, we see how the marital union has been flipped on its head, gutted, emptied, hollowed out, rendered pointless. | |
| Because marriage is supposed to be a loving and sacrificial union between two people who pledge to serve one another until death. | |
| That's what marriage is. | |
| I don't know what other point it could have if it's not that. | |
| And letting your spouse sleep around so that you can also sleep around is not loving service. | |
| It's self-service, and there's a difference. | |
| In fact, the difference is that those two things are opposites. | |
| A few decades ago, private citizens used to be largely that. | |
| Private. | |
| What's changed? | |
| Well, the internet. | |
| Think about everything you browsed, searched for, watched, or tweeted. | |
| Now imagine all of that data being crawled through, collected, and aggregated by third parties into a permanent public record. | |
| Your record. | |
| Having your private life exposed for others to see was once something only celebrities worried about. | |
| But in an era where everybody is online, everyone is a public figure. | |
| We're all kind of celebrities in our own right. | |
| To keep my data private then, I go online. | |
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| I think I can tolerate maybe just one more of these. | |
| Once more unto the breach, dear friends! | |
| We haven't heard yet from a polyamorous man, so we've heard from the women. | |
| Let's hear from a man. | |
| I use that term loosely, of course. | |
| Hey, man. | |
| I think you should know that I saw your wife with another man. | |
| Did they have leftovers? | |
| What? | |
| Did they have a bag of food? | |
| Yes. | |
| You know, I have to say I take great exception to the fact that this is a bearded man. | |
| To see a bearded man cuckolding himself like this is extremely discouraging to me. | |
| It brings shame on the whole community of beardsmen. | |
| Of course, the cuckold effect kind of, he affects this ironic, detached pose, unconcerned that his wife is being sexually satisfied by another man. | |
| You get back here and you make love to my wife! | |
| All he cares about is the leftovers. | |
| Haha, get it? | |
| He's not a lame, jealous cuckold. | |
| He's a cool, sarcastic one. | |
| That makes it all better. | |
| So there are really two options here, I think. | |
| One, when we talk about this guy and trying to interpret and understand what's going on. | |
| One is that your wife is out with another man and you're pretending not to be bothered by it, but really inside you're dying and you're eating yourself alive. | |
| You're drowning in resentment and jealousy and you hate your life. | |
| Can we talk about this not in front of everyone? | |
| But you're trying to convince the world, but really yourself, that you're totally fine with it. | |
| So that's possible. | |
| Or two, you've been so neutered, so thoroughly defanged and deballed, that you actually don't feel anything anymore when your wife openly cheats on you. | |
| I'm not sure which is worse. | |
| They're both pathetic beyond words. | |
| What I do know, though, is that I can't watch any more of these videos. |