The Matt Walsh Show - Matt Walsh Reviews Polyamorous Couples Of TikTok
Aired: 2022-02-01
Duration: 07:19


=== Open Relationships Explained (06:41) ===

[00:00:00]  So now we have another occasion where Sean, my producer, has enlisted me to endure psychological and emotional abuse for your amusement.
[00:00:11]  And this time we are descending into the caverns of TikTok again to explore the polyamorous community.
[00:00:19]  I'm not a COVID germaphobe by any means, but this is one occasion where a mask and especially gloves, rubber gloves, might be required.
[00:00:27]  So apparently on TikTok, a whole bunch of people are in open relationships, polyamorous relationships, and they've made videos advertising and explaining and defending their lifestyle.
[00:00:37]  I find it so sad and pathetic that I don't think I can watch very many of
[00:00:41]  them, but we'll watch maybe two or three of them just to see, just to get a little taste. And we'll
[00:00:46]  start with an easy one. Let's look at this one here. Just mind your business, right.
[00:00:55]  Well, except that your husband's sexual activity is your business.
[00:01:00]  If you didn't intend to share in that business with him, to, in effect, make it your business exclusively, like exclusively your business, exclusively, then why did you marry him?
[00:01:09]  In what sense is this even a marriage?
[00:01:11]  For what reason is it a marriage?
[00:01:13]  But then we go down a rabbit hole that people don't want to go down, of course, which is like now we got to come up with a definition of marriage.
[00:01:18]  What is it exactly?
[00:01:20]  And once you start doing that, then you're drawing lines and you might find that we're excluding certain types of relationships that you would prefer to include.
[00:01:28]  And that's why we don't define it at all.
[00:01:30]  And now we have to call this a marriage also.
[00:01:32]  You know what this is like?
[00:01:33]  It's like going into business as an accountant, and then your first client sends their tax documents over to you, and you go, whoa, wait a second.
[00:01:40]  That's none of my business.
[00:01:42]  Your financial information is private.
[00:01:44]  Keep it to yourself.
[00:01:45]  Well, yeah, it's private, but the accountant-client relationship is supposed to largely center around private information.
[00:01:53]  That's the whole point.
[00:01:58]  I might have lost the thread in that analogy a little bit.
[00:02:00]  I don't know where I was going.
[00:02:02]  I think I made a point there, I'm pretty sure.
[00:02:03]  But let's keep watching.
[00:02:05]  So my husband casually dropped today that he met this chick on Bumble that's only in town for a week, so we all know what that means.
[00:02:13]  So I sent him a text like, babe, live your best life.
[00:02:16]  If this thing goes all night, you want to go back to her Airbnb.
[00:02:20]  You want to stay so that you can hit it in the morning again.
[00:02:24]  Live your best life, babe.
[00:02:25]  I got it here at home.
[00:02:26]  Why did I do it? Because I'm such a good polyamorous wife, first of all.
[00:02:30]  But also because you put that karma in the bank and then y'all girl's gonna cash it out later.
[00:02:37]  If you want to be good at polyamory, you have to show up for your partner the way that you want
[00:02:42]  them to show up for you. And if I had somebody rolling to town, you better believe I would want
[00:02:47]  my husband to step it up. So there we go.
[00:02:51]  That's really it, isn't it?
[00:02:52]  That's the whole shebang, if you'll pardon the expression.
[00:02:55]  Why do you have a polyamorous relationship?
[00:02:59]  What's the point of an open marriage, which is a contradiction in terms?
[00:03:03]  It's an oxymoron, an open marriage.
[00:03:06]  Marriages are closed by definition.
[00:03:08]  That's the point of them.
[00:03:10]  But why do it?
[00:03:11]  Well, because it's entirely self-serving.
[00:03:13]  You know, that's the point.
[00:03:15]  This is mutually agreed upon adultery.
[00:03:17]  One adulterous spouse tolerates the adultery of the other spouse so that she has a license to behave the same way.
[00:03:23]  It's also emotional blackmail at the same time.
[00:03:26]  Or putting karma in the bank, as she puts it.
[00:03:28]  Again, we see how the marital union has been flipped on its head, gutted, emptied, hollowed out, rendered pointless.
[00:03:36]  Because marriage is supposed to be a loving and sacrificial union between two people who pledge to serve one another until death.
[00:03:43]  That's what marriage is.
[00:03:44]  I don't know what other point it could have if it's not that.
[00:03:47]  And letting your spouse sleep around so that you can also sleep around is not loving service.
[00:03:53]  It's self-service, and there's a difference.
[00:03:54]  In fact, the difference is that those two things are opposites.
[00:03:57]  A few decades ago, private citizens used to be largely that.
[00:04:00]  Private.
[00:04:01]  What's changed?
[00:04:01]  Well, the internet.
[00:04:02]  Think about everything you browsed, searched for, watched, or tweeted.
[00:04:05]  Now imagine all of that data being crawled through, collected, and aggregated by third parties into a permanent public record.
[00:04:11]  Your record.
[00:04:12]  Having your private life exposed for others to see was once something only celebrities worried about.
[00:04:17]  But in an era where everybody is online, everyone is a public figure.
[00:04:20]  We're all kind of celebrities in our own right.
[00:04:22]  To keep my data private then, I go online.
[00:04:24]  I turn to ExpressVPN.
[00:04:26]  Every time I turn ExpressVPN on, I'm given a random IP address shared by other ExpressVPN customers.
[00:04:32]  That makes it more difficult for third parties to identify me and harvest my data.
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[00:04:39]  No matter what device you're on, whether it's a phone, laptop, smart TV, whatever it is, all you have to do is tap one button to get protected.
[00:04:45]  It really is that simple.
[00:04:46]  So, if like me, you believe that your data is your business, secure yourself with the number one rated VPN on the market.
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[00:05:04]  I think I can tolerate maybe just one more of these.
[00:05:06]  Once more unto the breach, dear friends!
[00:05:09]  We haven't heard yet from a polyamorous man, so we've heard from the women.
[00:05:13]  Let's hear from a man.
[00:05:14]  I use that term loosely, of course.
[00:05:16]  Hey, man.
[00:05:17]  I think you should know that I saw your wife with another man.
[00:05:23]  Did they have leftovers?
[00:05:25]  What?
[00:05:27]  Did they have a bag of food?
[00:05:33]  Yes.
[00:05:37]  You know, I have to say I take great exception to the fact that this is a bearded man.
[00:05:50]  To see a bearded man cuckolding himself like this is extremely discouraging to me.
[00:05:55]  It brings shame on the whole community of beardsmen.
[00:06:00]  Of course, the cuckold effect kind of, he affects this ironic, detached pose, unconcerned that his wife is being sexually satisfied by another man.
[00:06:10]  You get back here and you make love to my wife!
[00:06:13]  All he cares about is the leftovers.
[00:06:15]  Haha, get it?
[00:06:17]  He's not a lame, jealous cuckold.
[00:06:19]  He's a cool, sarcastic one.
[00:06:21]  That makes it all better.
[00:06:23]  So there are really two options here, I think.
[00:06:25]  One, when we talk about this guy and trying to interpret and understand what's going on.

=== Neutered Emotions (00:52) ===

[00:06:31]  One is that your wife is out with another man and you're pretending not to be bothered by it, but really inside you're dying and you're eating yourself alive.
[00:06:42]  You're drowning in resentment and jealousy and you hate your life.
[00:06:47]  Can we talk about this not in front of everyone?
[00:06:51]  But you're trying to convince the world, but really yourself, that you're totally fine with it.
[00:06:56]  So that's possible.
[00:06:58]  Or two, you've been so neutered, so thoroughly defanged and deballed, that you actually don't feel anything anymore when your wife openly cheats on you.
[00:07:13]  I'm not sure which is worse.
[00:07:14]  They're both pathetic beyond words.
[00:07:17]  What I do know, though, is that I can't watch any more of these videos.