Today on the Matt Walsh Show, an official in California votes to ban outdoor dining and then immediately goes to eat at a restaurant outdoors. We have gotten used to this hypocrisy from our rulers, but we should not be used to it. Also Five Headlines including controversy over a restaurant owner who scolded his patrons for twerking in his restaurant. People are offended that he told them to stop twerking. But reasonable people are more so concerned that he had to tell them in the first place. And in our Daily Cancellation, as we get into the holiday season, I will be canceling Christmas trees.
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Today on the Matt Wall Show, an official in California votes to ban outdoor dining and then immediately goes to eat at a restaurant outdoors.
We have gotten used to this sort of hypocrisy from our rulers, but we should not be used to it.
So we'll talk about that today.
Also, five headlines, including controversy over a restaurant owner who scolded his patrons for twerking in his restaurant.
People are offended, you know, that he told them to stop twerking, but reasonable people are more so concerned that he had to tell them in the first place.
And in our daily cancellation, as we get into the holiday season, I will be canceling Christmas trees, unfortunately.
Have to do it.
All of that and more today on The Matt Wall Show.
Well you know we all like to complain.
I know I do in general.
Well, just in general, I like to complain, but if you haven't noticed.
But we like to complain, especially as conservatives, about the fact that so many companies out there,
a lot of the companies that we, let's be honest, give our money to, patronize, are not on our side
and are working against us in the culture.
And it's one thing to boycott companies you don't like, that's one thing we could talk about,
but one thing I think we could all agree on is that we should be supporting companies that support us,
and that's especially the case with Charity Mobile, the pro-life phone company.
With Charity Mobile, 5% of your monthly plan price goes to the pro-life, pro-family charity of your choice.
And that's sort of like the headline, okay?
And that's sort of like the headline, okay?
So every time you're paying your bill, you're also giving to this cause,
So every time you're paying your bill, you're also giving to this cause,
and you know that you're supporting a company that also supports the cause.
and you know that you're supporting a company that also supports the cause.
There's a lot of other perks that come.
There's a lot of other perks that come.
It's just a great company in general, a great service.
It's just a great company in general, a great service.
New activations and eligible accounts.
New activations and eligible accounts.
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It's a no-risk situation with a 30-day guarantee, so they're not trying to get you locked into something
you don't want to be locked into.
And they've got live customer service if you need them, based right here in the USA.
And if you're a parent and you want to block use of cellular data, picture messages, text messages,
whatever you want to do, if your kid has a phone, you could do that as well.
And all of that, while you are helping to build a culture of life in America by supporting a pro-life company,
and I can't emphasize enough, this is a win-win situation when you're getting a great service, wonderful product,
also supporting the most important cause of all, So call Charity Mobile at 1-877-474-3662 or chat with them online at charitymobile.com.
So we all know how this story goes by now.
We've heard a version of it dozens of times.
The latest twist, Los Angeles County Supervisor Sheila Cole voted to ban outdoor dining in Los Angeles County, which would mean shutting down tens of thousands of businesses and putting many of them under permanently.
And then promptly, right after this vote, went and dined outdoors at a restaurant.
Here's the Fox 11 report from LA.
It says, quote, Fox 11 received multiple tips that shortly after her vote on Tuesday, Cole was seen dining outside at Il Forno Trattoria in Santa Monica, an Italian restaurant near her house that she has previously described as one of her favorite restaurants.
When Fox 11 investigative reporter Bill Mulligan stopped by the restaurant to ask about Cole's visit, managers told him they, quote, didn't want to get involved and they have no comment.
Now, just a side note here, I understand that the managers don't want to get involved, but they should get involved.
This ridiculous tyrant is trying to destroy your business.
She wants to take you down.
She wants to impoverish your children.
You should have banned her from the restaurant when she showed up.
You should have had security escort her out the door in front of everybody.
You should have embarrassed and humiliated her.
See, one of the aspects of this whole farce of the lockdowns and everything that else is going on is the submissiveness of people, the people who should be standing up for themselves.
Churches not willing to fight back against insane infringements on their First Amendment freedoms, business owners not willing to defy the orders from psychopaths like Sheila, people obediently wearing masks even just to walk outside down the street because that's what they've been told to do by people who don't wear the masks themselves.
The only way out of this, the only way to stop it, the only endgame Is for people to refuse to comply with the dictates and commands of petty tyrants like Sheila.
Just refuse!
Scoff at her, wave her off, continue doing what you want to do.
That's the only way.
As long as we cooperate, as long as we submit, it's not going to end.
It will never end.
All right, back to the article.
It says, during Tuesday's LA County Board of Supervisors meeting, Cole referred to outside dining as a most dangerous situation over what she described as a risk of tables of unmasked patrons potentially exposing their servers to the coronavirus.
She says, this is a very serious health emergency, and we must take it seriously.
The servers are not protected from us, and they're not protected from their other tables that they're serving at that particular time.
Plus all the hours in which they're working.
Cole went on to vote in support of restricting outdoor dining in Los Angeles County, which passed by a 3-2 margin of the Board of Supervisors.
Cole's visit to the restaurant came before the outdoor dining ban took effect Wednesday evening, but her decision is likely to draw criticism from those who have grown frustrated with elected officials taking a hypocritical approach to what they have preached, as Cole dined at the restaurant a mere hours after she said doing such a thing would be unsafe and would contribute to the surge in COVID-19 cases.
Now, Sheila did provide a statement to Fox via a spokesperson.
You can tell me if you think this is sufficient.
Is this enough?
To make you say, okay, I'm satisfied.
She said, this is from the spokesperson, says, she did dine at Alfresco at Il Forno on the very last day it was permissible.
She loves Il Forno, has been saddened to see it, like so many restaurants, suffer from a decline in revenue.
She ate there, taking appropriate precautions, and sadly will not dine there again until our public health orders permit.
Oh, she loves it, you see.
She loves it, but is in the process of demolishing it.
She hates to see its decline in revenue, but she is personally and specifically working to take away its revenue.
You see how that works?
Does that make sense to you?
No, it probably doesn't, because you're not a sociopath.
In order for there to be this much of a disconnect between what you say and what you do, and in order to so casually decimate the lives of so many millions for no reason at all, and then to go and enjoy a nice meal served to you by the very people whose lives you are in the process of ruining, you must be a sociopath.
No mentally healthy person could manage this.
And there are a lot of sociopaths ruling us right now, as we have discovered.
So, a few points that I want to make here, in no particular order.
First is this.
I have a modest proposal for politicians or public health officials who violate their own lockdowns or operate in their personal lives in a manner inconsistent with their public fear-mongering.
I propose That they be dragged into the town square, tarred and feathered, and then loaded onto a helicopter and sent to Gitmo for 30 years.
Now, I'm not advocating vigilante justice, to be clear.
I'm calling for actual legislation to be introduced.
I want this all done legally.
We could call it the Tar and Feather Hypocritical Scumbags Act of 2021 or something.
That might be a little too on-the-nose, I don't know.
We can brainstorm that part of it.
The main point is that people like Sheila Should be treated with utter contempt and disregard and loathing.
That's what she deserves.
That's what she would receive in a healthy republic.
Other than, you know, besides or instead of politeness and submissiveness, you know, a restaurant politely serving her after she just voted to destroy them.
Second point, it's worth reflecting on another aspect of the problem.
Namely that the lockdowns and mask mandates and all the rest of the COVID-related initiatives have empowered dozens, hundreds, Of these kinds of people all across the country.
Now, we already know about the governors like Cuomo and Whitmer who have gone mad with the power they've been given, or rather have taken.
And we know about the incompetent, floundering, nitwit mayors like de Blasio and Lightfoot, who have also enjoyed play-acting as Roman emperors.
But the real danger is that we have to deal with lower-level bureaucrats, especially old ones like Sheila.
Who would have loved to have, you know, to have gained real power and maybe be mayors or senators or governors or something on that level, but somehow lack the talent and charisma of even Bill de Blasio.
And so we're stuck for decades as county supervisors or town councilmen or whatever.
Now even those people have the power to, with the swipe of a pen, lock people in their homes, impoverish them, plunge them into destitution.
And many have taken full advantage.
See, a tyrant is not just a dictator or like a warlord.
A tyrant is someone who gets off on exploiting whatever power they have and whatever control they have over other people.
There are parents who are tyrants.
There are assistant managers at Home Depot who are tyrants.
Hell, there are customer service reps at the cable company who are tyrants.
They have a little bit of power and control over you when you call the company, and they're manning the phones, and they answer, and they're going to use it.
Whatever little power they have, they're going to use it to make your life miserable, because that makes them feel better.
We've all dealt with people like this.
They are tyrants, just on the smallest imaginable scale, because that's as far as they've been able to go.
The problem now is that a lot of low-scale tyrants have been given way more power than they were ever supposed to have.
They've been given real power over your life.
And now we're all paying the price for it.
Third, final point, and this has been explained many times and shouldn't need to be explained at all because I think it's rather obvious, but I will explain it because there are still many people who are confused on this point.
When we talk about politicians or public officials not practicing what they preach when it comes to COVID, We're not playing a game of gotcha, okay?
That's not the point.
We're not going for a ticky-tacky, hair-splitting sort of thing here.
The point is that if they really believe what they say, they wouldn't even be tempted to act in a way that's inconsistent with what they say.
If they really believed that eating at a restaurant is a very dangerous situation, they wouldn't want to do it themselves.
You know, so when you catch whether Gavin Newsom was caught and he said, well, you know, we all make mistakes.
Yeah, OK, that that excuse might work in some scenarios with politicians who do do one thing and say one thing, do another when they're making the kinds of mistakes that normal people would be tempted to make.
But in this case, you said it's dangerous.
It could kill you.
Why would you even be tempted to do that if you really believe it?
The fact that they do things that they have called dangerous and deadly shows that they don't believe that those things are dangerous and deadly, obviously.
They are passing these laws and ordinances and regulations and decimating the economy and destroying lives on a basis and using a logic that they do not believe.
Which means they aren't doing it for the reasons they give.
Because again, they don't believe those reasons.
They're doing it for some other reason.
And our point when we bring up the hypocrisy is simply to ask, what's the real reason?
Sheila doesn't want to shut down outdoor dining because she thinks it's dangerous.
She doesn't think it's dangerous, clearly.
So, why is she really shutting it down?
That's our point.
That's our question.
It's a good question.
And the answer to the question seems clear and has already been alluded to.
She's doing it for power and control.
That's why they're all doing it.
That's what all of this is about.
It has always been about.
And it's time that the American public finally wake up to that fact.
Now let's get to our five headlines.
So we'll start with this from the Daily Wire and kind of we were just talking about, you
know, people cooperating with these mandates when they shouldn't be.
This has especially been the case with churches.
And it says, police blocked congregants from attending a drive-in church service at a church in rural Manitoba, Canada on Sunday morning.
As depicted in a Facebook video, which we'll play for you in a second, police blocked cars from entering the parking lot of the Church of God Steinbach, forcing them to line up on the adjacent street to listen to senior pastor Heinrich Hildebrandt preach from over a loudspeaker.
Hildebrandt preached, God has given us the right to worship him together and he wants to see his people united.
It seems like we're living in a different Canada.
It's very heartbreaking to me.
The Church of God at Steinbeck, which is about 40 miles southeast of Winnipeg, was fined $5,000 last week for holding services in defiance of what Hildebrandt describes as draconian and unconstitutional orders.
So there's a Facebook live stream that one of the congregants Recorded and showing the police presence and how the congregants were forced to line up on the street to listen.
And we'll play a little bit of that right now.
Watch this.
Good morning.
Thank you for joining us this morning.
As you can see, the police have decided to not allow us to have service this morning.
We have speakers set up and are playing songs.
I'm not sure if you can hear me.
It's quite loud right here.
I'm just showing you what's going on.
Police have showed up in droves to decide that they're not going to let us have service this morning in glorious and free Canada.
Can you believe it?
Look at this.
Look at this.
We've got media.
We've got police on site.
Lots and lots of police here today.
Yeah, if you couldn't see the video there, it's just an absurd spectacle.
The cars are lined up on the street and you've got the pastor in the parking lot shouting to them through a loudspeaker because they weren't allowed to go into the parking lot just for a drive-in service.
If you've been to a drive-in service, it's just you're in your car in a parking lot.
How could you possibly be spreading a virus?
But even that was not allowed.
Now, this church though, okay, this church in Canada, this is a good example of the opposite of what I was talking about before.
There are a lot of people submissively going along with it, a lot of churches, but here's a church that's not.
They've already been fined and they're still going forward and doing whatever they can to still meet and worship and pray together.
But so many churches, Across America, Canada, across the West, the government showed up and said, oh, you know, you're not, we're not, we're not gonna let you.
Tell you what, we've just decided to take your First Amendment rights away.
We've decided that you're not essential anymore.
And because we've called you, that's the back door, apparently, that we're allowed to exploit in order to take your First Amendment rights away.
All we can do is, you know, okay, we can take your First Amendment rights away, but first we just have to declare you non-essential.
And as soon as we do that, you no longer get Um, get First Amendment rights.
Now, even though, as far as I'm aware, in the First Amendment, it doesn't say anything about, this only applies to people the government deems essential.
This goes for everybody.
But for so many churches, the government came and said that, and, uh, they said, okay.
If you say so.
And they went home.
Pastors, bishops, leaders of the church, And now here we are, you know, begging for the courts to bail us out.
And maybe they will.
The Supreme Court had the case up in New York, found that New York didn't have the authority to shut down the churches like it had.
And that's good.
But what a pitiful sight it is.
That we as Christians in a free country with the First Amendment, this is what we're reduced to, sitting here and just begging, Supreme Court, please bail us out.
What should have happened from the very beginning is that the government says, oh, you're not essential, you can't gather, you can't exercise your First Amendment rights.
And what should have happened is everyone listens to that and says, oh, is that your opinion?
Okay, thanks for sharing.
And then you just go to church and continue on what you're doing.
Completely ignoring it.
If they want to go in, arrest everybody, cart the little old ladies out of church, put them in jail, they can do that.
If that's the level they want to take this to.
We didn't even try to call their bluff.
Let's go here, number two.
Article from Eater.com says, over the weekend, Dallas newcomer True Kitchen and Cocktails, as a restaurant, was at the center of a social media firestorm after video of the restaurant's owner ranting about the ills of twerking went viral on social media.
The video posted to Twitter by user, doesn't matter the user's name, depicts a person, looks a whole lot like True Kitchen owner Kevin Kelly, throwing a massive fit over a group of women.
This is, I'm reading from the article, this is, obviously there's a lot of editorializing in the way, in the tone of this article.
Throwing a, quote, massive fit over a group of women who were reportedly twerking to the music played by the restaurant's DJ.
According to one source, the song that spurred the incident was Dallas rapper Lil Roney Mother F's Circle.
That's the name of the rapper, I think.
Lil Roni, Mother F's.
I'm sure his music is, um, is, is very worthwhile listening to.
Uh, someone says apart all, uh, well, instead of quoting him, I think we'll just play the video for you.
So this was uploaded to Twitter and it was trending on Twitter yesterday.
A lot of people very upset with what I'm about to play for you.
Uh, media writing articles about it.
You know, almost unanimously panning this guy for what he said to the restaurant patrons who were twerking.
And, uh, here it is.
Listen.
I invested a lot of money into buying this building, into developing this concept, so black people can have somewhere nice to go to, okay?
Somewhere where we can feel good about ourselves and think, Somewhere where our people can feel good about ourselves as a culture, okay?
No, no, real talk.
And so all this twerking and sh**, take it to Prime, take it to Pink, don't bring it here because we're a restaurant.
And so beyond that, 75% of my customers are ladies.
And I want men to show respect for themselves for how they carry themselves here.
So how can I tell the men to respect themselves and you guys are twerking on glass here?
You want to do it?
So that's what people were upset about.
Now I hear that, as a relatively normal person, I hear that and I think that guy's awesome.
Let's give him the Nobel Peace Prize.
That's the greatest thing.
I love every bit of that.
The only issue I have with what he said is that he had to say it.
There were people apparently, as you heard there in the clip, standing on the furniture at a restaurant, putting their hands on the glass on the window, I guess, and twerking.
And it's controversial for the restaurant owner to tell them to stop?
You know we have reached peak entitlement?
Okay, we have reached peak entitled society, when an expectation of the most basic civilized behavior is considered over the top.
It's not just controversial.
It's not just that we're having a debate about, I don't know, should restaurant managers tell people to stop twerking in the restaurant?
No, it's just, for a lot of people, for them, it's self-evident that this is way over the top.
Whoa!
What are you doing telling them not to twerk?
What is this, the 1950s?
The expectation here, again, is just, is simply don't stand on the furniture.
So really it's two things.
Don't stand on the furniture.
I have to, and I admit, I have to tell my own kids that part of it.
We're at a restaurant, they're running all over the furniture.
Tell them, don't, don't.
It's not a jungle gym.
So don't stand on the furniture and don't twerk.
And especially don't do both of those things at a restaurant.
There are places, unfortunately, in society where you can go and do those things.
Just not here, at a restaurant, where people are trying to eat.
It is the lowest possible bar.
But these girls, apparently, I mean, these are the kinds of girls who, they see a really low bar, and they think it's a stripper pole.
Now, one of the excuses, and I'm not making this up, okay?
Because I did dive into the abyss a little bit of this on Twitter, and reading some of the reactions.
And the one excuse that kept coming up over and over again is that really this is the restaurant owner's fault because he was playing music like he was playing club music.
He was playing music that you would find here in a club, and so it's his fault.
If you don't want people twerking in your restaurant, then don't play that kind of music.
So you hear a certain song and that gives you the right and permission to just twerk no matter where you are?
Like if you're in a funeral procession and someone drives by and they're playing that song, you just start twerking at the funeral?
Hey, I heard the song, what do you want me to do?
And then people also took issue with not just that he was telling the patrons not to twerk, but that he said that women are disrespecting themselves by behaving this way.
And degrading themselves.
And of course, these days, you can't say that.
No, no, no.
But he's exactly right, obviously.
As a woman, you know, really, twerking in general, you are disrespecting yourself.
Making an absolute fool of yourself.
Degrading yourself.
Doing it in public at a restaurant, even more so.
And I just want to be clear about one thing.
Here, just so you know.
And I think all the women who watch this show, you don't need to hear this.
But in case this clip ends up on Media Matters and gets shared, then maybe someone that needs to hear it will hear it.
If you are a woman behaving this way, you're going to find that a lot of men support it.
There's a lot of supportive men.
You want to go out in public and twerk and act like a stripper?
Any whorish behavior?
There's a lot of men very supportive of the whorish behavior.
The reason for that In every single case, all of those men who are very supportive of you behaving in this way, they support it because they don't respect you at all.
They have no respect for you as a person.
That's why they support it.
So if that's what you want, if you want to be not respected at all, then continue right along.
That's just the one thing we need to be clear about.
They don't support it because they respect you and they respect your autonomy.
No, no, no.
The exact opposite is the case.
All right, number three, Greta Thunberg, child prophet, tweeted this last week.
I just saw this.
She tweeted, school strike week 119.
Today is Black Friday.
Overconsumption is wrecking present and future living conditions and the planet itself.
Don't buy stuff you don't need.
I saw this and a couple things came to mind.
Number one, a school strike.
That's what we need.
The kids are on a school strike, not by their own choice.
I think it's a bit redundant to have a school strike at this point when kids haven't gone to school in six months.
But the second thing is, you've got this kid saying, don't buy stuff you don't need.
Obviously, nobody asked you.
We don't need your permission to buy stuff.
But it does bring to mind for me a real problem here, that sometimes from the socialists and the Marxists and the far-left radicals and everything, you hear this message about overconsumption and consumerism and, you know, don't run out and buy a bunch of stuff you don't need.
That part of it, I agree with them.
They're right.
You shouldn't buy stuff you don't need.
Like, there's a real criticism, an important criticism, of consumerism that could be made And that is an important conversation that we could have.
Because you've got capitalism, free market capitalism, people can do what they want with their own money, they can start businesses, you know, pursue the American dream, that sort of thing.
So you've got that, and it's possible to support that while not supporting consumerist culture.
Where the entire society depends on and runs on people going out and spending more than they have, living beyond their means, buying a bunch of junk and filling their house with it.
We live in a consumerist culture.
A capitalist culture doesn't have to be consumerist.
Ours is.
And so we could have a real conversation about that, but the problem is that the socialists, they go from there and they go all the way to, therefore, the government should be in control of the means of production and everything else.
And so this discussion about consumerism, unfortunately, we can't have because of the socialists.
Number four, this is from the Daily Wire.
It says, The Star studied this shocking report here.
You're not going to believe this.
Star-studded Hollywood charity Time's Up — you know, that's the Me Too charity, Time's Up — founded after dozens of women came forward to speak up about sexual harassment, sexual abuse, and even sexual assault, raised more than $3 million last year, according to a New York Post report.
But spent most of that on, you guessed it, salaries.
Not helping the victims at all.
It says Time's Up has plenty of A-list backers, ranging from media mogul Oprah Winfrey to Hollywood social justice elites like Brie Larson, Reese Witherspoon, Amy Schumer.
But it says, as we get to the New York Post reports, The organization, which is comprised of the Time's Up Foundation and Time's Up Now Incorporated, raised $3.6 million in 2018, its founding year, but spent $1.4 million on salaries and only $312,000 on the Time's Up Legal Defense Fund for people who have experienced sexual harassment.
Altogether, Time's Up spent nearly 40% of its income on salaries.
Another additional $150,000 went to conferences and retreats.
So even of the little bit of money that actually went ostensibly towards the goal of the organization, a lot of that was squandered as well on nonsense.
And you know, this brings to mind the whole thing about how every movement eventually becomes a racket.
The only difference is that with the Me Too movement, it was always a racket.
It never had that time of being a sincere, useful thing.
It was always a racket from the very beginning.
Five, finally, a headline from the New York Post that says, Kazakhstani bodybuilder marries a sex doll after a whirlwind romance.
It says, proving that love is blind and sometimes kooky, a bodybuilder from Kazakhstan has tied the knot with his dearly beloved, a sex doll he dated for eight months before proposing a year ago.
There is a video of their nuptials, which I'm not going to play just on the principle of it, but it says, clad in a black tux and bow tie, Yuri Tolochko is seen planting a gentle kiss on Margo, who appears a bit stiff in her revealing white gown, as she clutches a bouquet of flowers and stares into the distance.
And this article is so stupid I can't continue to read it, but they did have a wedding ceremony.
And somehow, family members and friends actually showed up for the wedding ceremony with the sex doll.
You know, I think it's pretty obvious that something like this is sort of a publicity stunt.
I think.
Mostly a joke.
A really weird joke that you've invested way too much time and money in.
I think that's mostly what it is.
I hope.
I'm assuming.
But there is a very real thing underneath all this, a real cultural phenomenon of people giving up on relationships.
And we see that with the millennial generation, many of them not getting married, just giving up on it.
Now, most of them aren't running out and buying sex dolls, rather than replacing human relationships with sex dolls and marrying sex dolls.
Instead, they have pornography and Pornhub and that sort of thing.
But that is a very real problem in our society, people giving up on relationships.
and maybe down the line as sex dolls and sex robots become more technologically advanced.
This may be the one thing in the sci-fi movies.
There's a lot of things in the sci-fi movies that haven't happened.
We all thought we'd be in flying cars by now and have hoverboards and everything.
That's not happening.
The one thing, though, people running off and marrying sex robots, yeah, probably I
could see that happening.
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Remember, that's 4hims.com.mat.
Well, if you're not already a Daily Wire member, now is the time to join, because we've got amazing stuff we've been telling you about that's right around the corner, starting in the new year, but even before the new year, starting this Friday, December 4th.
The Michael Knoll Show is going five days a week with more content for our members to enjoy.
We're adding the entire PragerU catalog to dailywire.com by the end of the year.
We've already uploaded all of PragerU's five-minute videos, the Candace Owens show from PragerU, and Michael Knowles' book club.
So all that is there.
More to come, and you become a member.
You're going to be able to take advantage of that.
Early next year, Candace Owens is also joining The Daily Wire here in Nashville, where she'll be launching a brand new Daily Wire show in front of a live studio audience.
We're building a new investigative journalism team.
We've got feature films coming out.
We're doing a lot of stuff.
And all of this means you can go outside the narrative and come over to dailywire.com slash subscribe.
One other thing, if you haven't already ordered them, you can check out our Daily Wire Christmas ornaments.
All of us Daily Wire hosts, plus God King Jeremy Boring, are Santa's adorable elves made out of painted metal.
I'm being forced to tell you about this.
It's on the sheet of paper.
Um, but it would not be my— Here's all I'll say.
I was converted into an adorable Christmas elf and made into an ornament to hang on Christmas tree against my—without my approval.
I did not consent to this.
Okay?
I did not consent to being an adorable Christmas elf.
At no point did anyone call me up, or they could even come in here to the studio and say, hey, do you want to be an adorable Christmas elf?
We're making these ornaments.
Do you want to be one?
If they'd asked me, I would have said, no.
Thanks for asking, no.
So just know when you buy these ornaments, you are buying them and putting me on your tree against my consent.
But you can text Christmas to 83400 to get your tree decorated.
They're going fast, so get yours now.
That's Christmas to 83400.
And on that note, let's get to our daily cancellation.
Now today for our daily cancellation, now that Christmas season has officially, or rather unofficially begun, officially the Christmas season actually starts on Christmas.
I don't know if you knew that.
I'm going to take a bold, bold step that will only shock and offend you until you realize that I come not as your oppressor, but as your liberator.
I seek to free you and free all of us once and for all from the tyranny of Christmas trees.
Christmas trees are canceled.
This madness has gone on for long enough.
I'm drawing the line in the sand right now.
No more Christmas trees.
We are done with Christmas trees.
Now, it may come as a surprise, but the early Christians never thought to cut down a tree and put it in their house for three weeks as part of their Christmas celebration.
One could only imagine how the conversation would have went had anyone suggested something like that.
Hey, it's almost Christmas.
What do you say we go and chop down that perfectly healthy tree out there, drag it inside, and watch it slowly die?
It'll be so festive.
The idea probably would not have been warmly received.
And that's why nobody had a Christmas tree until some depraved lunatic in Germany, as always, in the 19th century decided that there weren't enough distracting hassles associated with the holiday and came up with this idea.
And it was the worst thing anyone had done related to Christmas since Saint Nick started the whole gift-giving thing, which is another problem in and of itself.
Now, admittedly, this history of Christmas and its traditions may not be entirely technically accurate, but that's not the point.
The point is that we are all burdening ourselves with this demented custom for no reason.
So there are, of course, two ways to approach the problem of obtaining, transporting, and erecting a tree inside your living room.
This, again, is a problem of our own making.
It's like if we're all stressed out about how to capture a squirrel from the forest and train it to do jumping jacks.
The most stress-free way of doing that is to not do it, because it's bizarre and pointless, and there are a million better ways to spend your time.
But as far as trees go, you have two options, right?
You can go out and buy a real tree or you can purchase an imposter, a fake tree, an avatar of a tree.
The problem with the fake tree is that it's a fake tree.
It's expensive and clunky.
It doesn't actually look anything like a real tree, much less does it smell like one.
So it's always awkward when you go to someone's house and they have a fake tree and they go, doesn't it look real?
No, it doesn't.
Have you ever seen a real tree?
They're outside.
You should go check them out.
Because this doesn't look anything like it.
See, whatever joy there is to be gained from a Christmas tree, you aren't going to get it from a fake one.
A family with a fake tree has given up.
They are just checking the tree box, trying to slide by on a technicality.
You might as well put a deflated basketball on your porch at Halloween instead of a pumpkin.
The stand-in is significantly more depressing than just not having it at all.
So that doesn't work.
But the real tree is worse.
First of all, it's going to run you upwards of $75 these days.
$75 for a hunk of lumber that will be decaying in a heap on your front lawn in less than a month.
You could buy a bottle of Blanton's Single Barrel Bourbon, Elijah Craig barrel-proof, even, for that price, and it will make you far jollier than any Christmas tree ever will, I assure you.
So after you've been basically stripped naked and robbed by the Christmas tree salesman, you schlep the thing back to your house, you drag it inside, pine needles falling and dispersing themselves into areas of the house that you won't notice until sometime after Memorial Day, That begins the process of somehow getting this whole entire actual tree to stand up straight in your house with nothing but a plastic tree stand and a couple of screws keeping it in place.
If you do get it to stay in place, it'll inevitably be knocked over multiple times by the dog, the cat, your kids, people and pets getting practically crushed to death left and right.
Meanwhile, the thing requires about 19 gallons of water a day just to keep it alive, and barely so.
Now you have a half-dead, dried-out chunk of wood in your house with electrical wires draped around it.
Maybe next we can develop an Easter tradition where everybody jumps into a pool and plays catch with a toaster plugged into an extension cord.
And then what happens as soon as Christmas is over?
It's like waking up with a hangover.
You look at that thing and all of the joy and spirit is sucked out of it.
Now you see it for the giant pile of sticks that it always was, and you just want it out of your house.
Literally the day after Christmas, you're looking at your tree with disgust.
Everybody does.
Or if you have a fake tree, you just put off the hassle of taking it down for months until you finally get around to it, only because you don't want people judging you when they come over for your 4th of July barbecue.
So the whole thing is madness.
And it must end.
We must free ourselves.
We must stand up with one voice and refuse to be enslaved to this lunacy.
It's gone on for too long.
It ends today.
Christmas trees are cancelled once and for all.
And that's gonna do it for me.
My wife wants to go get a Christmas treat today, so we're gonna go do that.
Speaking of not practicing what you preach.
Have a great day, everybody.
Godspeed.
If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, and if you want to help spread the word, please give us a five-star review.
Tell your friends to subscribe as well.
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Also, be sure to check out the other Daily Wire podcasts, including The Ben Shapiro Show, Michael Knoll Show, and The Andrew Klavan Show.
Thanks for listening.
The Matt Wall Show is produced by Sean Hampton, executive producer Jeremy Boring.
Our supervising producers are Mathis Glover and Robert Sterling.
Our technical producer is Austin Stevens, edited by Danny D'Amico, and our audio is mixed by Robin Fenderson.
The Matt Wall Show is a Daily Wire production, copyright Daily Wire 2020.
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