Michael REACTS To Unhinged AI Pixar Trailers Part 2
Michael Knowles reacts to unhinged Pixar trailers, critiquing pitches involving a boy rejecting football for nail polish and a gay teen facing AIDS references. He evaluates a "kitchen" joke against a confusing Snickers commercial featuring a crowned man, ultimately declaring the latter superior for its mystery regarding racial tension. After dismissing a financial scam pitch, Knowles promotes Helix mattresses by detailing his upgrade from a queen to a king-size bed using their sleep quiz and offering the discount code "Knowles." [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: CohereLabs/cohere-transcribe-03-2026, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Viral Pixar Trailers00:02:13
As we await eagerly the release of Toy Story 5, lots of people on the internet are producing their own Pixar trailers.
We've already covered some of them in a previous installment of this high-level art criticism.
The producers have assembled the latest viral Pixar trailers, and it will be up to me, maybe up to you, to decide which one should become a full-length Pixar movie.
Take it away.
I hate football.
I hate video games.
I don't want to be like him, Dad.
I want maximum sparkling.
Like, honey, paint my nails.
Do my eyelashes.
Send him two to three years, Dagestan, and forget.
From Disney and Pixar.
He's a little twig.
I've got no choice.
He's your son.
I know what I have to do.
This Christmas.
Good, good, good.
Good.
Four.
Come on, Alex.
Pretty tight.
Hip go.
Chest high.
Now.
Pull.
Get up.
Fuck it.
It's a little much.
It's a little too complex.
You need more references.
I don't, but okay.
Dad, I'm gay.
Peace, kid.
See you in heaven, maybe.
Disney and Pixar present One Way Ticket to Hell coming this summer.
Wait, but he says, see you in heaven.
Well, enjoy AIDS, I guess, right?
Did I miss something there?
It didn't.
He says maybe.
What after that?
Maybe.
Yeah, okay.
Well, I'm seeing a theme.
There's really a theme of black gay teenagers.
That means you're gay.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's fine.
Okay.
It's fine.
It doesn't hit as hard for me.
I know.
The first two, okay.
I don't know.
I'm not making a full feature-length film out of those.
Hey, get back here.
You don't got to be a YN no more.
One Way Ticket to Hell00:03:25
I got a better way.
Quarter zip.
What's a YN?
Is that like an N-word?
Basically.
What's the Y stand for?
Young.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, all right.
That's kind of what I assumed it meant.
Quarter zip.
Wow, that's great.
That's really nice and a good lesson.
If we just passed out quarter zips to every 12-year-old in the country, you could do a lot to improve the Utes.
Okay, next one.
I don't know if there's a place for me in the world.
There's a place for everyone, Karen.
There's a place for you as well.
Kitchen.
Thought I would be just cooking.
No one said anything about the dishes.
All right.
That's a more direct.
Yeah.
Okay.
There's a more direct joke there.
That's okay.
There's something I need to tell you.
I think I like girls.
No son of ours will be straight.
Get out.
What?
Yeah, okay.
Funny, funny bit.
It's too confusing, though.
I'm extremely confused.
Like at the end, he picks the one.
I don't know.
Do you have any New Year's resolutions?
Only one.
After the ball drops this New Year's, he won't have any of his own.
Post op.
It would be post op, it would be only one P. Quiet.
OPP would be like an opportunity or an opponent, but operation would be one P. Which they get in the subtitles, but okay.
The pitch is fine.
But right now, no, the winner is the kitchen one.
And that's not even an A. That's just acceptable.
Right now, go to helixsleep.com slash Knowles.
Sweet little Elise and I were just talking last night about redoing the guest bedroom.
And right now we have a queen mattress in the guest bedroom, and she wants to get a king.
We're a decadent country these days, aren't we?
And so she says to me, she goes, Meg, do you think.
Can we do it?
Can we get the helix?
She wants, she needs the helix.
The helix mattresses in our home have multiplied over the years.
She loves it.
And she's sweet little Lisa.
She's a simple woman, easily satisfied by the very best of everything.
She loves it.
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I love them.
Obviously, I got multiple helix mattresses in my home, and I look forward to adding another one very soon.
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HelixSleep.com slash K-N-O-W-L-E-S. son has become a Toronto man.
Billy, come back down here this instant.
Snickers vs Kitchen00:03:35
You have to say it in a way he'll understand.
Come downstairs or you'll get a deaf odds, my ute.
What is another way of saying two to the power of two?
Two twos, Sam.
Toronto man.
It's so, I don't get it.
Boy, if you don't, like, I don't get it, okay?
And probably most of you don't get it either.
But I like how specific it is.
That's such a great niche stereotype.
Of a man from Toronto, that I want to give it credit.
It's kind of like conservatives do this we don't make the movies that we want to see, we make the movies that we want to want to see.
That's how I feel about Toronto Man.
So it's still, that's still in the running.
She's beautiful.
She sure is.
Congratulations, mom and dad.
How, I mean, she's so different.
Different can be a gift.
Coming this summer.
The kid's black, but the parents are white.
So, do you get it?
I get it.
Okay.
All right, whatever.
It's in the running.
In a world where Snickers rules the skies, one man dares to be salty.
Please, no Snickers.
Snickers!
When the world goes nuts, only one man can wear the crown.
What's up, fool?
Not to.
What?
Hold on.
Wait, what is that?
I don't really get that.
All right, hold for a second.
Jacob's going to send you a reel.
What?
For a second, I thought that Snickers was just a euphemism for the N word.
Are you sure?
That's what they were doing?
But then what's with Burger King?
Jacob's sending you a clip.
Let's see this.
Oh.
Wow, okay.
Okay, I guess that reference was so niche, I didn't even pick it up.
But I guess because of that, it's now very much in the running.
Ma'am, you listen to me.
I'm trying.
Could you please slow down?
No slowing down.
The bank will freeze everything unless you move now.
One click.
It's all my savings.
Do it from Disney and Pixar.
Okay, all right.
All right, that's it.
That's it.
Okay, I'm really torn now between the kitchen and the Snickers one.
It's just which is funnier?
I guess I would want to see the Snickers one as a full-length movie because snickers!
One, you know, racial tensions is a perennial theme in human life.
So it's inexhaustible in that way.
But you could say sexual tension is as well.
But with the kitchen joke, I get the joke immediately.
I just get it, right?
I don't know if there's a place for me.
And he says, your place is in the kitchen.
Ha ha.
You know, and then that's it.
So I get it.
So I don't need a whole movie about that.
Whereas with the crown guy and the Snickers guy, I didn't even know what that meme was until after I saw it.
And now I want the backstory.
Why is he wearing a crown?
Is this your king?
Huh?
Why?
Where does his hostility toward the Snickerses come from?