It just seems well below a higher threshold for sarcasm I expect from the Babylon Bee (preview)
Today we say goodbye to one of the most "smart young man" candidates there ever was: Vivek Ramaswamy. He closed his campaign with a "two genders" joke before amassing 7.7% of the vote in Iowa, where many voters saw him as a literal terrorist, and as a send-off, the Babylon Bee uses him for a 7-11 joke. We explore the Babylon Bee comment section and find their users suddenly attuned to racism, and we hit massive paydirt in a section of the website where users can create their own Babylon Bee headlines. Finally: Law Enforcement Today uses creative reporting to pass off the Brooklyn hasidic tunnels as a nefarious immigrant, extremist plot (lol) Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for $5/month and get 2 bonus episodes a week Buy tickets to Miss Me Yet at The Beacon in Seattle for Thursday 02/15/24 and 02/22/24 at 7:30pm Subscribe to our youtube channel at http://youtube.com/miniondeathcult Fuck The Nordic System- Ghais Guevara
So this is somebody who liked the article and is riffing.
Disaved says, "Uh, yeah, and it is going to be the most based and red-pilled 7-Eleven... ever!" Period.
And then the next sentence is, "You break the Slurpee, you buy the Slurpee." That's...
That might be the lamest interpretation of based I've heard so far.
Like, what?
Based is when you break something in the store, you pay for it.
That's what based is.
Listen, I know you think that's a normal 7-Eleven, but they've actually abolished birthright citizenship within that 7-Eleven.
Yeah.
In that 7-Eleven.
If you're born there, it doesn't mean you automatically get to work there.
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
Are there political leanings when you go into your local convenience store?
Is that the way you're supposed to...?
What are they doing?
Or are you saying that they shoot you if you break the slurping machine?
I don't, I want to wait to even get to the slurpy part of this, but I'm still just like imagining a bastion.
Oh, oh, you want to go to the fucking gulp and go or whatever?
What is the gulp and go's stance on pronouns?
All right.
Cause I know for a fact this 7-Eleven will not serve you if you have pronouns.
This 7-Eleven has gendered bathrooms.
For no reason, it serves no purpose, but this one has gendered bathrooms.
Yeah, that's so funny.
Alright, yeah, no, but I love the rip.
You break the Slurpee, you buy the Slurpee.
How do you break a fucking Slurpee, man?
Oh my god, yeah.
What the fuck are you talking about, dude?
Jesus fucking- It's not even a Slurpee machine, it's just a Slurpee.
I just realized that.
You break the uh, what do you get at 7- you break the lotto ticket.
You buy the lotto ticket.
You break the hot dog, you buy it.
What else would you, if not you're just stealing the Serpia I guess?
He literally just combined You Break, You Buy, which is another one of these from, you know, a joke from a movie or something, with the other thing he knows about 7-Eleven, which is Slurpee.
Yeah, so stupid.
I love it.
Like, you're performing what an AI does when it constructs a joke.
Yeah.
You know, you're just putting like two elements together.
