I know we use the word satanic too often but this performance is literally a tribute to Satan (preview)
This week we asses the true threat level of the Chinese Balloon by using the "Snoopy system," and Trump uses the groomer attack (appropriately) against DeSantis--upsetting former Trump supporters who suddenly remember he's also a predator. Finally, conservatives get extremely scared of Sam Smith after the singer dresses up like a guy from Moulin Rouge ------------------------------------- Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a week. Also get access to our entire back catalogue including BUTT FEST 2000 with Bryan Quinby; live-reads of My Antifa Lover, Rodham, and Ladies First: A MAGA Hat Romance; movie episodes like Believe, To Die For, and Loqueesha; and hundreds more. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult
Yeah, so he's retweeting a photo of Ron DeSantis when he was a high school teacher at a private academy, allegedly partying with three of his students who had not graduated yet.
And he was 23 at the time, so pretty young.
But one of these young, possibly underage girls is holding a beer in the photo, too.
So it's like a party.
It's like a house party.
And I was reading a story.
I had to go.
This is a story that broke in like 2021.
So I was reading an article from 2021 about it.
And they were like, this man does appear to be Ron DeSantis.
And they included a photo of his faculty photo.
It was like, the way they described it was a man appearing to have Ron DeSantis' face and his signature bowl cut.
And I was like, what?
Bowl cut?
Bowl cut?
It's like worse than a bowl cut.
It looks like he has a... It looks like he has a wig on.
It looks like he has a hairpiece on.
It's bangs.
It's straight up bangs.
Like, it's funny, because like, you know, bowl cut... Because you can't see the sides or the back, so I don't know how bowl cut he is, but you can definitely see that straight... Those straight bangs.
Like, I mean... It's like a high and tight that he combed forward.
And you can tell he maybe tried to do it a little bit himself.
There's some unevenness in the faculty picture across the bangs.
You might recognize this exact same haircut from your friend who recently just went through a breakup and maybe they got a little bored with some scissors and they cut their bangs too short.
You've seen this haircut before, just not on a Ron DeSantis type character.
You're- this is a non-binary haircut.
Yeah.
No, this- this haircut is often given while, like, Phoebe Bridgers plays in the background.
To yourself, you know, you're giving it to yourself, you know.
Um, this- this haircut is never given before 10 p.m.
You know, this is always, like, this is- this haircut is- What year is this, apparently?
I don't fucking know, man.
This might, this might be his high school.
It's a wild haircut.
I don't know, this might be his high school photo.
It's in black and white.
The partying photo is in color.
But this, I mean, but it's a yearbook, so they probably print in black and white no matter what.
Never mind.
All right.
Because you know they didn't have color photos yet.
I forget how old he is.
I think of him as like 70 years old.
I don't know.
Just because he's a Florida governor.
That's what I associate him with.
But to his credit though, he was a handsome guy.
So I can see why there's horny old ladies for him.
He actually is a pretty good looking dude considering this haircut's happening and I'm not I'm not saying he pulls it off, I'm just saying he makes up for it.
Yeah, oh man, I love the Sock DeSantis arc here.
I didn't know he went through this in his early 20s.
Yeah, yeah, there it is.
Somebody made a meme on Truth Social using the photo of Ron DeSantis at this party with these girls.
And then an impact font, so they probably used meme-maker.com to do this.
Here is Ron DeSanctimonious grooming high school girls with alcohol as a teacher.
Vomit emoji.
And this is, I kind of don't want to read this display name.
I don't know if it's racist or not.
It seems like it might be.
I mean, I'm not sure.
Yeah.
I don't trust it.
I don't.
Yeah.
What do I know?
That's what I'm saying.
All I know is that I know nothing about this display name.
But the ad is Magnanimous.
So at Magnanimous tweeted this and then Trump quote truthed it or re-truthed it.
Is that what they're calling it?
I don't know.
A retweet is a retruth.
I don't know what a quote tweet is.
Donald Trump quote truths that meme and says, that's not Ron, is it?
He would never do such a thing.
Anything being facetious, right?
Yeah, it's so bitchy.
It's so fucking funny.
This is like... I don't know, once again, betraying how little you actually care about grooming with the tone you're using in your accusations.
He would never do such a... I don't know.
It's so funny.
It's so half-assed and just like trying to be a joke.
yeah it's it's like you said it is like well this is kind of a serious accusation if he really is drinking with his students even at 23 that's like that's like not cool that's a that's a crime you know you can get serious about it but to be like cheeky about it is like oh you don't actually care about this because i'm pretty sure i don't think i don't think trump can really play that game right trump can't play the Drinking alcohol with underage people, even in pictures, game, right?
There's no way.
You would think he might want to stay away from it.
You would think he might want to stay away from the topic of grooming underage girls, considering what he's done, considering which beauty pageants he's owned and allegedly harassed.
What do you call walking in on a group of, like, Yeah, a group of underage girls.
I think we've watched him do these type of things on Access Hollywood and MTV when we were kids.
I think we watched him do these things on TV all the time.
And to be clear, I want to amend what I was saying earlier.
Trump never treats anything with respect, even serious allegations.
That's why he's funny.
Saying this is out of out of pocket for him.
It's like, of course he was going to do this.
Of course he was going to be like, oh, what's the new worst thing I can say?
You know, oh, groomer.
OK, cool.
I'm going to.
Yeah, you're you're a fucking group like every every can't.
Everyone who runs for the Republican Party nomination against him is going to be a groomer of some kind.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Easy.
And then He replied to this with another quote-truth from this same person, uh, who said, um, they said something like, yeah, this gives off serious ephebophilia vibes.
And Trump quote-truthed that with, oh no, or whatever.
What?
I don't know what that word means.
What is that word?
You've been doing this show for how long?
You don't know what that word means?
No, I don't think we ever said it on the show.
Yeah, I probably didn't want to say it.
Help us do the show for only five bucks a month.
You'll get two bonus episodes every week, including a live stream with listeners every Saturday.
