The title of this episode is not just a quote from a segment but a warning to potential listeners: We classy, and we sassy, but things may get nassy We say goodbye to Diamond by winking from the pulpit at her funeral, lamenting in all-caps that she ""DIED SUDDENLY"" Also: How hospitals are heating their buildings with wokeness Plus: The Daily Wire tries distances itself from the m&m’s controversy with a masterful headline after being called out by the candy’s newest ad campaign And: Nobody at my work thinks pronouns are a problem... has the world gone mad? Finally: Embarrassingly in-depth candy chat from Alexander, and Tony experiences a patriotic prayer in a Vietnamese restaurant Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a week. Also get access to our entire back catalogue including BUTT FEST 2000 with Bryan Quinby; live-reads of My Antifa Lover, Rodham, and Ladies First: A MAGA Hat Romance; movie episodes like Believe, To Die For, and Loqueesha; and hundreds more. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult
I'm not joking when I just say I just opened up the comment section and looked at it.
I was like a cool.
Okay Very very next comment from Mable 58 M&Ms have been my favorite candy since I was a little kid when I was a kid They were made in my hometown.
My dad would sometimes bring them home when he visited the factory for his job.
I When I was pregnant with my son, I had terrible food aversions and couldn't even look at an M&M.
I was so worried my tasted for them would never come back.
But alas, after the birth of my bundle of joy, I was able to eat them again.
Dot dot dot dot.
I remember being so thankful.
Now, I'm completely devastated by the way the company has gone woke.
Why can't candy just be candy?
It's so sad, but I might have to finally say farewell to my favorite pastime.
This is written by a Mable58.
Perhaps- To my favorite pastime.
Perhaps someone can start a conservative candy company so that we can enjoy our favorite candy without having to cave to the left.
Man.
Mable, she'd have noticed that when the M&Ms were trying to kill her baby in her stomach, That maybe they were probably evil.
That's like the wokest thing you can do.
Evil, woke, yeah.
Heartfelt, another heartfelt eulogy.
Our second of the night.
This one, two M&Ms.
Brutal.
If this weren't written by the username Mable58, I would have thought this was fake.
I would have been like, no way somebody is telling the story about their journey with M&M's.
I mean, the thing is, I don't know though.
I don't understand.
Have you ever had the Dublin, Texas Dr. Pepper?
No.
If you get Dr. Pepper from Dublin, Texas, I think it's, yeah, it's still made with real sugar.
It's the best Dr. Pepper out, right?
We don't know.
Maybe the fresh from the factory M&Ms that her dad would bring home from the factory when he would visit for work, maybe those M&Ms, maybe they hit different, you know?
We don't know.
We don't know.
We've never had that fresh of an M&M.
Yeah, could be.
Yeah, that's like, uh... What is it, Lucky trying to take Bobby to get a fresh tortilla chip off the line?
Because that's like... Yeah.
Nothing better.
It's real shit.
That's real shit right there.
But listen to this.
Why can't candy just be candy?
You would have literally never known about any of this if you weren't a fucking Daily Wire subscriber.
You would have no idea that M&M's went woke.
You could still have been enjoying your fucking childhood favorite candy that has emotional connection to you.
You let these freaks put the green M&M's pussy in your face every night for like two, for like two years and you were like, ah, fuck, I guess they went woke now.
I can't eat them.
I hope that Mabel doesn't project this on her son.
You know?
How could they have done that?
How could M&M's have done this to me?
How could they have done this to me?
It's so... I just wish we could eat candy coated chocolates, please.
It's like my mind has been poisoned by M&M's.
It's like I have worms in my brain caused by M&M's.
Totally.
They were right about like the yellow number 5 or whatever.
Yeah.
It's finally paying off now.
Yeah, there's this chemical in there, like you said, Tony, called Yellow No.
5, and what it does is it makes your media consumption skills very low.
It just erodes that part of your brain.
Yeah, it's like ecstasy, but it's just that part of your brain.
It's just media literacy.
Yeah, I'm all tapped out.
Let me just log on to my favorite websites.
Just genuinely confused.
Why is this happening?
I hate this.
I just want to eat candy.
JS910179 replies to Mable58 who says, why can't we just eat candy coated chocolate anymore?
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