"The left thinks we should keep paralyzed people unemployed so they have more talking points on why we need the state"
This week A&W root beer says they're going to put pants on their Bear mascot to make fun of m&m's, which makes facebook conservatives even more mad and in the face of video evidence of Paul Pelosi's attack being released, the right wing continues pushing gay conspiracy theories, perhaps so they can continue to laugh at an 82 year-old man getting hit with a hammer Our top stories are the dystopian nightmare of putting paralyzed people to work piloting robot servers at a Japanese cafe, repackaged as heckin' wholesome capitalist propaganda in a pro-work facebook group. and Bill Maher keeps bringing up black slave-owners in an interview with Bryan Cranston, and a commenter has a warning to black men everywhere not to seek reparations in his wife's bedroom ------------------------------------------- Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a week. Also get access to our entire back catalogue including BUTT FEST 2000 with Bryan Quinby; live-reads of My Antifa Lover, Rodham, and Ladies First: A MAGA Hat Romance; movie episodes like Believe, To Die For, and Loqueesha; and hundreds more. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult ------------------------------------ Music: The Breeders - Divine Hammer Kraftwerk - Robots H*milton George Washington song
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
But stay tuned, guys, and we'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're in the storm of the desert.
All there in Barbados, stay tuned.
Alright, I'm Alexander Edwards.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Lazy, unemployed, paralyzed Americans are responsible.
We're documenting it.
What's up, everybody?
How's it going?
It's your show for the week.
It's your episode for the week.
Thanks, as always, for tuning in.
We had a wonderful Patreon episode.
We touched base on Diamond's untimely demise.
Found out the way her sister is weaving in the conspiracy theory that she did die of the vaccine, actually.
Some amazing audio from Trump that you may not have heard anywhere else.
That's the reporting I'm getting back.
We're one of the few shows to cover Trump's famous diamond quote that he says at her funeral.
Astounding bit of audio there.
Heartbreaking, really, the audio, you know?
Yeah, as well as the right wing trying to pretend that they weren't upset about the M&Ms after the M&Ms were like, we hear you, we see you, we're doing self-crit, and we're trying to make sure that you feel safe in our M&M commercials.
So we got Minnie Riperton's daughter now, too.
Instead of those sexy M&Ms.
Now you got Maya Rudolph.
Anyway, got a wonderful episode for you today.
I have just some important new developments and an equally important story that we have been covering here.
And of course, by what I mean, what I mean by that is Rudy the Great Root Beer has been the company's mascot since 1963.
A&W Root Beer puts pants on, quote, polarizing mascot bear Rudy in joke announcement.
So this was Rudy, this was A&W's response to Eminem's response to the right-wing response to the Eminem's commercial where the green Eminem loses her boots.
This is the latest response to this and it's got 6,000 angry reacts on the Fox News Facebook page.
And I'm just looking here at the top comments.
Katie says, bye-bye A&W.
Always liked Barks better anyway.
Oh, that's just petty, Katie, and you know it.
You know that has nothing to do with these pants, with these bear pants.
You're just being rude.
That's not cool, Katie.
Let's stick to the subject at hand.
Low blow.
I feel like Barks was always the virtue signaling masculinity root beer.
Yeah, it always sounded kind of tough.
Well, no, that's dads.
Dads is the masculinity, the masculine root beer.
Disagreed.
Dads is hipster.
That's not... It could be masculine.
It could intersect with masculinity for sure, but... It's not like real dads, like how people do daddy vibes and like dad bod.
They're not actual fathers.
This is just like, just hipsters being cool with words.
You know, listening to Dad Rock, you know, Yacht Rock type shit.
It's like Bart's... Sorry, I'm getting this mixed up.
Dad's is the Pabst.
There you go.
Barks is the Bud Heavy.
There you go.
Yeah, the OG for the people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know what you mean.
I feel that.
It's just like a tougher beer.
I don't know.
I like A&W is what I'm saying because I'm a hipster.
Yeah.
And like we said, I got an A&W down the street from me, and I can't eat anything there, but I will pull through just for a root beer because I think it might be in my head, but I think it is better from the source.
You know?
And plus, I like seeing Rudy.
There's a statue of Rudy out there in front of the A&W.
Oh, shit.
I forgot about that.
And no pants.
No pants on.
I should go see if they put pants on him.
Yeah.
Wait, the bear's name is Rudy?
I guess so.
Oh, I thought you were talking about... That would be the bear, right?
The football player.
Oh yeah, that too.
Yeah.
I thought they had a statue of Rudy out front.
It was like, okay, a weird sports reference for the town, I guess?
I don't know.
Like tenacity, just like, he is like a, you know, an Irish hero, right?
An Irish American hero.
Yeah, definitely.
Don't, like, the teenagers who work at A&W, the restaurant, piss in the giant barrel of root beer inside the fast food place?
I've heard that.
That might be why it tastes so good.
That might be part of the magic of it, you know?
Yeah.
Okay.
Teen piss.
Sandy says, won't be using their products anymore.
Thought they were more country loving.
Guess I was wrong.
I thought they were more natural, in tune with mother nature, aka pants-less.
Yeah, what's going on with this?
I thought they were more country-loving, but... Put pants on and you really hate everything.
You're being a real...
Like, I don't understand the transgression here.
I love it.
I love the anger.
Just anger.
You know, country people, they're known for being, like, really in tune with themselves and confident and, you know, just sons of the earth or whatever, right?
And, like, putting on pants is a denial of the self.
It's true.
It is a rejection of the self.
It's what did Peterson say?
Putting on pants is raging against God for the crime of being.
Is what I'm trying to say.
Yeah.
And you gotta remember, we're talking about Rudy the bear.
We're not advocating for dicks flopping around.
This is an animal who has a sheath penis.
It's gonna retract.
So it's okay.
This bear wearing pants is like an insult to God and nature.
It's saying that God didn't do a good enough job.
Now, Rudy does have nipples, hence the sweater.
So this all makes sense.
And that's fine.
You know, a hat, a tie on a bear, that's totally fine.
You know, whether the hat is a ranger hat or a Or a... What kind of hat did Yogi Bear wear?
Was it like a football coach hat?
Yeah, I think he like... I think he... It's like a detective... It's like a little bowler cap, right?
No, it was like a... It was like a fedora.
I think.
Yeah, I think you're right.
What's funny about Yogi was the...
What was that collar attached to?
Was the collar attached to the tie?
Was the tie attached to the collar?
It was.
It actually was like a different kind of clip-on.
You just clip the collar at the back of your neck, and it's all good.
And I will say, I'm looking at it now, I do think you're right.
The description for this is football coach.
1960s football coach hat.
Yeah.
Brian says, well, I guess I can wake up.
These are all in a row.
These are all the top fucking comments on Facebook.
Maybe not the top ones.
This is one screenshot.
Yeah.
Brian says, well, I guess I can wake up and stop enjoying their products and stored.
Took me a while to parse this sentence.
I actually didn't even notice it at all when I, when I went through it the first time.
Then the second time I read it, I was something, something, you know, tripped and well, I guess I can wake up and stop enjoying their product.
So he means they went woke.
If they went woke, I guess I can wake up too and stop buying their products, right?
I think so.
I think that's what he's saying.
He's saying, I was asleep before, but now they put pants on the bear.
I'm now awake and I'm now conscious and I will not be going to get Also, no one's going to these places anyways.
There's no one ever at the A&W.
From what I understand, they're good in Canada.
Our friends at Block Party have mentioned a few times how it's really good up there, but it's pretty garbage down here.
Disagree.
So, people aren't going anyways, I don't think.
They're not going.
I expect it.
The people are wrong.
Once again, Tony, as usual, actually, the people are wrong.
They have them in Washington.
They're A&W slash KFCs.
They have that combo up here.
That's not fair because then you have a whole fryer oil thing going on where like that is probably going to be a better A&W, you know?
Yeah, I liked the one over Bayou or, you know, in California.
I liked that one when I was there.
I like this, it's just, it's one of those meals where it's like, I need to sit here for like three, even before driving away, I need to like sit in my car for a little bit, make sure everything's good to go.
It's like dense and greasy.
Oh my god, yeah.
I can't eat it.
Maybe I'm getting older, but it just makes me feel like shit.
I would probably actually die if I were to go get what I used to get from A&W, like a cheeseburger and some cheese curds.
I would probably actually die.
Their fries are so good too.
Alright, we gotta keep going.
No, I think he's responding to the idea that A&W was trying to go woke by putting pants on the bear.
But they don't say the word woke in this article headline.
They don't say it anywhere.
It's just, he's just, oh, another traditional aspect of life gone.
They woke it up.
I guess that's just what change does.
Like, anytime you change anything, that is going woke, right?
Is that kind of the...
What we're accepting now?
If you change anything for a reason, if it happens by accident, or if you do it arbitrarily, then it's fine.
But if you have literally any reason to change anything, well, you citing a reason, that's you virtue signaling.
And don't get me wrong, most of this is virtue signaling, but some of it is just Capitalism following the money you know and like that's that's why they're doing the thing with the mascot and it's I don't know but um okay well I guess I can wake up and stop enjoying their products and stores I don't spend a lot and so they won't care however they get about 30 to 40 percent of my indulgences I guess my savings account can grow a bit easier
Holy shit, man.
How much root beer are you having at home?
Brian's like, no, it's not just the root beer.
I also like the root beer candies.
So I'm drinking the root beer.
I like the diet and the regular and the cream soda.
And I eat the candies, every variety of the candies.
And I get a meal at least three times a week from there.
Probably the darkest period of my life.
When I was living at my dad's.
I was like 19, 18 or 19.
I was drinking cream soda, eating pizza rolls.
Awful.
Just awful times.
Cream soda is like the shit.
I have like six sodas a year.
And that's usually one of them.
I really enjoy me a cream soda.
I was like staying home all day.
Watching the Game Show Network, eating pizza rolls, and drinking a lot of cream soda.
That's kind of, you know, it's beautiful actually.
Look how far you've come.
Now you're in your own basement.
That's right.
I was actually upstairs at that house.
Oh, so you've actually downgraded a little bit.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, so I don't know.
It's just so funny to see people get mad about the thing that's making fun of the other thing that they got mad about.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I mean, most people, most people on the right saw this A&W ad and were like, yeah, you got them.
You got them M&Ms.
Good job.
When again, the MDC take, if you didn't hear it, is that M&M's is trying to make fun of Tucker Carlson a little bit.
And we think they might be leading up to a Super Bowl ad where Maya Rudolph tells all the other M&M spokescandies that they're fired because they upset a lot of people, which would be really funny if they did that.
I'm not gonna hold my breath, but...
I will say, if that is a parlay on the Super Bowl betting and someone does win on that, you do owe us a cut.
You did hear that from us, so just don't forget that.
Maya Rudolph will be doing a commercial where she does fire the M&Ms for being problematic.
Yeah, so just so you know.
You're welcome.
And so yeah, now they're also mad at the thing that was dunking on the thing they were mad at.
It's great.
I mean, you just can't win as a conservative.
It's crazy.
It seems like everybody's always against you.
It's not because you're fundamentally misunderstanding reality.
At all.
No, I mean, this kind of opens my eyes to what they've been saying the whole time.
We don't understand the persecution of this type of red-blooded American, what it's like to be them.
It's all sides, you know?
Yeah.
Well, it's like the old grandma who she can't eat her M&Ms anymore because Tucker Carlson and Ben Shapiro and all of them ruined them for her.
She's like, I wish, why can't candies just be candies?
Yeah, that's just one of the trials you face as a conservative.
Candies just can't be candies anymore.
Because candy is how we get to the children, that's how.
That's why it can't just be candy anymore.
Yeah, and candies are past because it represents our childhood.
So if you change the candy, you're trying to change history.
You're trying to change my personal history, where my daddy grew up in the town that M&M's was from, and he would bring a bag hot off the line, still warm.
Fresh factory M&M's, yeah.
Still liquid chocolate inside those shells.
Yeah, the M was not dry, so you'd get a bunch of smeared candies, but you knew what they were by that smell.
Oh boy.
Another follow-up we gotta cover is the video footage was released from Paul Pelosi's attack at his home.
The police body camera footage, which is wild to see.
It is unreal.
It is wild.
It's pretty sure, well there's footage of the guy breaking into the house with his hammer and then there's footage from when the cops get to the front door and they open the door and it's DePape, however, is that how you say his last name?
I think so, yeah.
It's DePape, the attacker hold like struggling with Paul Pelosi over the hammer but not you know Paul Pelosi's 82 he's basically just got a hand on the hammer outstretched and they look at the cops and uh the pape's like oh it's okay and Paul Pelosi is like hi Having a smile on his face.
And then they're like, OK, put the hammer down.
And Paul and Paul is like, yeah, hey, hey, you know, let's let go of the hammer.
And then DePay just swings on him, grabs the hammer from him and swings it at his head.
And it's like, luckily, you can't see the blow actually connect because it's like off.
They they he like.
Pushes him out of frame of the shot as he's trying to hit him with this hammer It's nuts.
It's so wild because like it's right in front of these cops and like you You see him get the hammer and like oh, he's he's going he's gonna hit him right now.
Yeah He's gonna do it right in front of them.
And it's just like it's on real to watch And yeah, he gets like, I don't know if it was one or two blows and you can hear you can hear him snoring You can hear him just slept He's literally snoring at the end of that.
Yeah Cause you're so knocked out and like, it's like, what, what were the, like, why were the cops?
I feel like the cops knew that guy broke in, right?
They, they, I'm assuming they also knew whose house it was.
Like maybe eventually, I think the dispatcher didn't know who Nancy Pelosi was.
Wait, for real?
Yeah, there's audio from the 9-1-1 call.
Everybody's like, what the fuck is up with this dispatcher?
Because I think she doesn't know that Paul is trying to speak in code.
Yeah.
OK, let me see if I can get it.
What's funny, though, is at least she doesn't just Have that instant hate for Nancy Pelosi because she's like a gnarly conservative?
Like at least that was the response.
At least she was like, I just don't know who the fuck this is.
Oh, well there's a gentleman here just waiting for my wife to come back.
Nancy Pelosi.
He's just waiting for her to come back because she's not going to be here for a day.
So I guess we'll have to wait.
Okay.
Do you need police, fire or medical for anything?
Uh, I don't think so.
I don't think so.
Is the Capitol Police around?
No, this is San Francisco.
They're usually here at the house protecting my wife.
No, this is San Francisco Police.
They're usually here at the house protecting my wife.
No, this is San Francisco Police.
No, I understand.
Okay, well, what do you think?
He thinks everything's good.
I've got a problem, but he thinks everything's good.
Okay, call us back if you need your mind.
No, no, this...
Call us back if you change your mind.
Bye.
No, no, I'm telling you, he thinks everything's good.
I got a problem.
Uh, it's 3 a.m.
at my house.
Uh, there's a guy here looking for my wife, who is Nancy Pelosi.
Uh, is this, does this sound familiar to any of the, any of this making sense to you at all?
Uh, and he wants you to wait here for my wife to come home.
And he wants to wait here for my wife.
Alright, yeah.
- Do you know who the person is?
- No, I don't know who he is.
He has this, he told me not to.
- All right, yeah.
Messed up stuff.
So the video came out and outlets like the Daily Wire, for instance, are printing headlines like this.
Sometimes a deranged, hammer-wielding, illegal alien is just a deranged, hammer-wielding, illegal alien.
uh essentially pleading with the base giving them as many other reasons as possible to blame this guy rather than blaming the 82 year old man who was attacked with a hammer uh that the right wing is just it's it's just canon now that this guy is gay this guy was doing gay hammer sex this guy was doing
Smack the Winky, playing Smack the Winky S&M style with this guy and the reactions are still like this.
Deanna is still saying, yeah, I would totally think I've broken into a home.
Police are at the house and I will casually walk to the door with the person I broke into house with.
Love how Paul Pelosi didn't seem alarmed, still had a drink in his other hand.
Yeah, we totally believe this story, said no one ever.
That is, that is weird that he has a drink in his hand.
What, what do you think the, I mean, it looks like a drink.
It looks like a, like a glass in his hand.
You know, I didn't even really notice that.
Um, I was, I was more focused on the hammer, but, um, but it's also like, you still see the video, like no matter what you think was leading up to this moment, you still see like him be attacked with a hammer.
So it's just so funny, but they're like, that doesn't, If you're hanging out with another dude at 3am, that's probably the gayest thing you can do.
So like, you're probably, you know, you're asking to get hit with a hammer.
They see him get hit with a hammer, or they see him swing a hammer at him, and they're like, yeah, we know he's insane.
We already said he's gay.
Yeah, we already said that.
We know he's insane.
That's why they're hanging out together.
That's not like the fact that he actually did get attacked.
It's just it's like a subconscious way of getting to laugh at an 82 year old man hit with a hammer.
Because you just say, oh, a gay guy did it.
Oh, it was a gay hammer.
That's why I can feel OK laughing at this insane attack that happened on somebody.
You know, I'm not I'm not a fan of the Pelosi's at all.
Don't like it when that happens, though.
When somebody breaks into a house and attacks an elderly man with a hammer.
Isn't it wild that their response to this is, oh, fuck around, find out.
That's what he did.
He fucked around by doing gay things and he found out.
They're still taking that approach to even this that makes no sense.
Actually, so we know the attacker was gay because he attacked him.
Because he did a crazy thing like swinging with a hammer.
But how do we know Paul's gay?
Oh, it's because he didn't, like, catch the hammer barehanded and then use it to spin it around so that the forked end was bashing into Da Pape's skull.
So.
Also, he was wearing roller...
They're like, why is he in underwear?
Why is Paul Pelosi in his underwear at 3 a.m.?
What the hell was he doing?
Listen, bud, at 3 a.m., I'm either... I'm for sure not wearing underwear.
You know what I'm saying?
John says video had the appearance of being casual.
911 call was very odd.
The security surveillance camera of him supposedly breaking in was also odd.
Yeah, footage of somebody breaking into a house with a hammer.
This is weird.
Something doesn't feel right about this.
Appears as if he purposely looked into camera to show his face.
Staged?
Yeah.
I mean, it's gotta be.
They're just doing really thorough roleplay.
Beverly says, they both were smiling as if everything was fine.
They both was holding on to the hammer.
Why were they both in their underwear?
Where was the guy's vehicle?
Why would Pelosi let him in?
No one has said there was a forced entry!
Too many questions!
And they didn't, like, have to say it because you could just see it happen.
Yeah, you could watch it.
You could watch him break in.
It's very funny that, like...
Ben Shapiro, The Daily Wire, took the tack where they were like, well, we gotta give up the game.
There's video of it happening.
The two things that were in question, the break-in and then the attack.
There's video of it happening.
I guess we have to find a gracious way out of this, which is indicting all undocumented people in the process.
And just, you know, face the facts based on what's literally in front of our faces.
And his viewers are like, oh, I think it was done with Facetune.
I think they facetuned Paul Pelosi and him.
Look at how happy they look.
Look.
You know?
It's obviously... This is clearly deepfake.
Yeah.
Like I said, you know, in the same video that she's talking about here, you know?
Yeah.
They look like they're both smiling or whatever.
Like, they're doing this weird thing where he's trying to keep it casual, but then you still see the guy get hit with the hammer.
Like, that part doesn't not happen.
Like, you know?
It's like, what?
No one's saying he's wearing underwear.
No one said the other guy's wearing underwear.
Because the other guy's... He's wearing...
Yeah, I don't think he was in his underwear.
He's wearing, like, shorts.
Yeah.
I don't remember.
I didn't, I don't remember him in underwear.
I feel like I would have.
No, he's, like, wearing, like, shorts and, like, a hoodie.
Oh, shorts and a hoodie.
Yeah.
I'm just the one divine hammer.
I'm banging all day.
I can hear those names.
I'm just the one divine hammer.
Divine hammer.
Divine hammer.
Yeah.
So that's how they're doing on those couple stories there.
I saw a very interesting headline in my feed, and it was, quote, a cafe in Japan is hiring paralyzed people to control robot servers in order to still make an income.
And there's two photos, one of somebody on life support in a hospital bed, and another photo of a friendly robot carrying a tray of coffee to a customer, presumably.
And because this was posted in, ah, the bitter rantings of the unemployable, this was like a feel-good story for them.
I just realized that that is the group that you found this in.
The Bitter Ranting is Unemployable.
That's where we're going to put the story about people who are paralyzed.
Well, this is a success story because the top two comments, Mikal says, Verdict, Aggressively Employable.
Hey, this is pretty sick.
uh ricard says this is the opposite of bitter rantings giving hopeless people purpose in life uh so yeah because this was posted in uh the bitter rantings of the unemployable facebook group instead of uh i don't know any other normal facebook group
uh people see that you paralyze people being uh used still having to sell their labor as servers in order to make income is somehow a wholesome a wholesome story i I was like fascinated by this.
I mean, let me read from these.
I had to look this up to see that this was real.
I sent it to Tony as soon as I saw it because like, I mean, talk about You know, dystopias repackaged as wholesome stories.
This one seems pretty bad.
Yeah, I know that you're confined to a bed or a chair or something like that.
But don't worry, you too can still be a cog in the machine.
You can also go get my latte.
I have two brief stories about this cafe.
This is from the BBC.
A total of 10 people with a variety of conditions that restrict their movement have helped control robots in the Don Ver Cafe.
The robots controllers earn 1,000 yen, about 7 quid, I think, or I don't know, per hour, the standard rate of pay for waiting staff in Japan.
Well, at least they aren't paying them less, like, uh...
What is it, Salvation Army does?
Yeah, doing some sort of like, well no, we have to charge you for the rental of the robot though.
You pay, but there's also a robot fee.
Right, like your hairdressing chair?
Yeah, exactly.
It is hoped the project will give more independence to people with disabilities.
How?
It's, I mean, this is like to not, not to say that, like, maybe some people enjoy working, right?
Or maybe some people enjoy Working this job as an alternative to just not doing it.
I don't think you get more independence.
You actually have more responsibility.
It's a weird way to package this story because they're not getting a robot for their leisure.
Do they get to take the robot and actually walk around and see the city?
Hell no.
No way.
No way would they let that happen.
There's no way.
Like you said, this isn't more Independence.
Now you just have to clock in somewhere.
And again, you know, I'm not, no judgment.
I know some people, you know, if you don't have a lot of shit going on, maybe, you know, going to work is your social outlet, which I get.
I can see that.
The Oriheim-D robots used in the cafe were developed by Japanese startup Ori and were originally created to be used in the homes of people with disabilities that severely restrict their movement.
So yeah, they were originally developed to help, you know, paralyzed or disabled or handicapped people.
Instead of just being powered by them.
Yeah.
They kind of pivoted that on them.
We're going to help you out, but now we're going to let you help us out.
Yeah, we took all your tax money saying that we were going to do this thing.
Actually, they're now workers.
Now they're like double workers.
They don't need help around the house because they're too busy working now.
So, everybody wins.
The robots can be told to move, observe, talk to customers, and carry objects, even if their operator can only move their eyes.
These abilities have been adapted for use in the cafe.
The pilot scheme aims to test connections between disabled people and the robots to help people who might otherwise be housebound earn a wage and interact with other people more easily.
The Human Controllers involved patients with a variety of conditions including spinal cord injuries and the progressive neurodegenerative disease ALS.
The cafe will initially only be open for two weeks.
Its creators are raising money via a crowdfunding campaign to see if they can get enough to open a Don Vare cafe permanently from 2020.
And I believe they did because this second story is more recent.
This is from Quartz.
A Japanese robot cafe shows how avatars can foster human connection.
Uh, it's happening.
It's happening.
We thought, we thought that we were going to go in and plugged in, get plugged in and, you know, be able to fly it on the matrix or go visit Pandora, but turns out we can just be baristas.
You're not even a barista, you're like a server.
You're just going from point A to point B. I mean, you have to like... I can't believe those are the... I can't believe this picture... Hold on, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to like... I know that's not all a server does, is go from point A to point B. I know you probably have to, even as an operator of one of these things, you probably have to fucking take orders and remember orders and stuff like that.
Go ahead.
I'm actually, I was surprised that the robot in the picture is the actual robot that they're using in these cafes.
This robot seems like an interesting design.
Yeah, it looks like an alien, kind of.
It does look like an alien.
Like, also, I mean, from, you know, kind of a server point of view, I don't see what the benefit of, like, having hands to hold a tray would be instead of having a built-in tray.
I feel like that's a better robot, but whatever.
Well, the tray, I mean, that's a lot of space you're taking up in three dimensions just for a thin piece of...
You know what I mean?
Like, maybe you can't fit sideways into... If you got a fucking tray mount, maybe, you know, flip it up, I guess, when you don't use it?
Yeah.
I don't know.
But, um... This cafe shows how avatars can foster human connection.
And, like... First of all, that's not what the goal of the cafe... The cafe makes money.
Like, that's what the goal of the cafe is.
Um...
Second of all, I don't know if you can call customer service a human connection.
Like, that's... This is a very generous use of the language here, I think.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not like it's because I mean it's probably cool and you know there's probably some really great aspects of it but let's not pretend like the people they're serving are they're not like talking.
I don't think they're like talking to the robot and being like hey robot you're like actually a person somewhere out there aren't you?
You know?
Is this like a really... Is this... Is this a different version of, like, the Diving Bell and the Butterfly?
But, like, it was... It was... You, like, kind of fell in love with the shell that is the robot waiter the entire time?
Uh, yeah.
I don't... I don't know what kind of interaction you're actually having with the... I think there's a video of it I could have watched, but, uh... Yeah.
I don't... You're... You're probably not... Maybe you're having a conversation?
I don't know.
Okay.
Silicon Valley's version of the metaverse is starting to feel like yet another dystopia.
Odd way to just introduce that word into this article.
Dystopia.
First sentence.
But we're talking about the metaverse.
We're talking about meta, actually.
What a disaster, am I right, folks?
That worked out real well.
Critics of Microsoft's Mesh lament the dispiriting virtual office populated by legless humanoid avatars awkwardly trying to conjure meaningful interactions.
Yeah, not like the kinds you have while you're ordering coffee or a biscuit of some kind.
While critics of Facebook have argued its version of the metaverse will simply reinforce the already damaged relationships we've been building online for years, but in Japan there's a different type of avatar run space that's proving to be a conduit for meaningful human interaction.
Tokyo-based DAWN, or Diverse Avatar Working Network, is a cafe staffed by robots operated remotely by people with severe physical disabilities like amyotrophobic lateral sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease.
The operators, referred to as, quote, pilots, can control the robots from home, from a wheelchair or bed, by mouse, tablet, or a gaze-controlled remote.
Okay let me stop right here.
I'm picturing an alternate reality where this is actually cool and it's if if this is owned and operated by disabled people If this cafe is the idea, is the actual desire of all these people, this is actually what they want to do with their fucking time, and they're controlling it, I mean, great.
It would still be a marketplace interaction, but it would be at least something.
Well, I mean, because you're right.
Like I said, I think there could be really cool things happening here, but I don't think it's proposed as like, hey, this thing can be pretty therapeutic for you.
I think what is proposed to them as is, hey, so your bills are stacking up.
We found a way for you to, well, we have a way for you to actually make money.
If you would like to do that, we have a way for you to actually make money.
It would be through this, you know, avatar waiting service.
Like, that's probably how it's being proposed.
I'm assuming.
Yeah, it's being proposed as like, oh, you could pay some of your medical bills.
Yeah, exactly.
And like, so if it was like a thing that you get to just sign up for because something you want to do and like you think and it would be positive for you.
Yeah, but this is definitely like a...
Hey, you're not getting out of this.
We've still got to get some money from you somehow.
We've got to get some value off your labor somehow.
It feels like prison labor.
It's an insensitive comparison to make.
It's not a perfect comparison at all.
You know, jobs programs for prisoners I think are supposedly voluntary, or at least some of them are, and that's the argument that people make about employing prison labor as it's fine, it's fine to do.
It's like when you're in prison, you're not free.
By definition, you're not free, and any decision you make is within the framework of somebody who's not free.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
So I feel the same way.
If you're living under medical debt, or if you're living under these extremely limited possibilities, not limited by virtue of your birth, but limited by how society treats you and people like you, So yeah, getting a job might be better than not.
Getting a job where you can do something different.
Because the government's not going to give you a robot to go play chess in the park.
And that's exactly it.
If there was more of that, that would be totally different, but I don't think that's happening.
And also, it's so insulting because you're... There's something insulting going on here because you're going to these people who are, you know, pretty severely disabled, right?
We all know the costs that are accrued with that.
And they know that too because they're going to these people.
They know everything about them.
And they still say, hey, we're just going to pay you the minimum.
I know you need more than the average person because of the debt you've accrued.
But I know that because I've came to you because you are a paralyzed person.
That's who we're after.
But we're still just going to pay you the minimum.
That's like so that's so fucked.
Yeah, like, if you... Another thing, too, is if you owned this restaurant, you could, like, decide what your robot looked like.
You know, you could pick, like, you could make a robot that had, that was almost like a blank, that you could fit different shit over it.
Like, this one turns into a dragon, like, you got a dragon sleeve that you can put over this robot, and now your fucking server's a dragon all day, and you gotta deal with that shit, because this is our restaurant.
You know, or like whatever you wanted.
That would be a fun thing too, I think.
Yeah, I would like that.
If you could also be a dragon in this service, that would be something we might be more into.
I hope they look into that.
I hope they look into dragon options.
The experimental business won the grand prize in the prestigious Good Design Awards this year.
Judges praised Dawn for developing, quote, alter-ego robots.
Man it's yeah you're all wow in the future everybody gets an alter ego robot and it's owned by uh your boss and you only get to use it for company purposes.
Jeez yeah that's like that that's that sucks you don't get yeah you don't get to go use it you don't get to you don't get to be sexy in it which i think is the only reason we all want to have alter ego robots.
You don't get to go play like midnight rollerball with it.
In a press statement, the committee said it expects, quote, "The cafe will serve as a starting point for further expansion of contact between people with various disabilities who want work, companies and consumers.
The challenge of designing solutions for homebound populations is particularly acute in Japan, where over a quarter of the population is unable to work due to physical disability, mental illness or age." Uh, yeah, so they're just gonna put your asses to work.
That's what this is about.
This isn't about fostering connections for disabled people.
This is about getting the fucking tax base up.
There's a quarter of the population we haven't tapped into here.
We gotta fix that.
We gotta fix that.
No more excuses.
Yeah, this is about, again, people's wages going up.
And it's like, yeah, the AI to replace your job as a server at an actual restaurant might not be there yet, but we counter your offer or your quote of $15 an hour with $7 an hour for this robot that's piloted by somebody three states away.
Yeah yeah and I yeah it's it sucks it's like it's it's bleak because if this was paired at all with just like we're also making these robots available to go on a stroll with man you know that yeah they're not doing that so with this sort of technology You could just employ somebody in a state with the federal minimum wage.
It's like, oh, in Washington, oh, you want $15 for whatever, flipping a burger?
Actually, we're going to get an internet uplink to somebody in Texas.
Yeah.
And we can't give them tips.
That doesn't work either.
They can't get tips.
It doesn't work that way.
Yeah.
I'm going to feel so bad because whenever I see like the... I still haven't seen one in person, but it's because I'm like not in a metropolitan area.
If I ever see one of those like delivery ice chest things, like I'm going to have to kick it over.
But now I'm going to feel bad because what if that delivery ice chest is actually being, you know, is actually being controlled by somebody far away and I'm like kicking a person over kind of.
Well, that's ours, baby.
That's ours for them.
They just get to chill there.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
It's actually... They just stay clocked in until someone comes and turns them right side up?
Yeah, yeah.
You just, you gotta wait.
You gotta wait for, like, management to take care of it, which can take a long time, you know?
But then you still gotta finish your delivery, and that kind of sucks.
But yeah, that's all, that's all just overtime.
Also, very important to be wearing your mask.
Some people aren't taking COVID very seriously right now.
Still very important to wear a mask when you're in a heavily populated area or if you're about to kick over a motorized robot of some kind.
Yes.
Yeah.
Want to be wearing that mask over your face.
Because somebody will be coming to turn that robot right side up.
And we all know that the virus can stay on the robot for quite some time, and we have to think about the people who have to do that.
They don't have robots that can turn the robot device head up yet.
They did, but we kicked them over too, so... I mean, really, you could just outsource it to, like, India.
What would be stopping you from outsourcing the pilot program to somewhere where wages are a lot lower?
Like, I don't think they'd have to be, like, classified as an American.
They're not, like, on America.
It's the same thing as, like, a telephone operator, you know?
Like an outsourced call center.
For this to be legal, what they should do is the robot should have, like, a UPC code on its chest that if you want to, you can scan it and you get a live feed of the person controlling the robot.
And that might help curve those things.
They might want to make sure people have better standards that they get to see.
Because you'd be really sad if you saw someone living in squalor who was handing you your coffee.
I think that would give them license to be even more abusive.
You can't control two robots at once?
In February, Prime Minister of Japan Yoshihide Suga appointed the country's first "Minister of Loneliness". Prime Minister of Japan Yoshihide Suga appointed the country's first Isn't that what that private investigator called Nathan Fielder?
You're like the Minister of Loneliness.
I think it was something like that, yeah.
I think it was a Wizard of Loneliness.
I think I remember that specifically because it's somebody's display name.
It's a good display name.
A cabinet level official tasked with addressing social isolation and the spike in suicide among Japanese female workers in 2020.
Oh, man.
Japanese female workers are killing themselves in mass.
Well, wow.
That's so sad.
We need to figure this out by replacing them with disabled people via robots.
Yeah.
What?
Geez.
I mean, like, yeah, like the person controlling the robot might end up killing themselves, but the robot probably won't.
The robot you probably just have to have serviced every once in a while.
Kentaro Yoshifuji, CEO of Ori Laboratory, the tech startup behind Dawn, suggested the cafe's teleworking model could be a path to employment for people saddled with childcare and homeschooling duties, or people who, for health reasons, can't be in public during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Yeah, so this is great.
You can't work because you're raising children or you're homeschooling them or maybe you're caring for a parent or an older family member or something.
We're not going to get you help with that.
We're going to make you do more stuff while you're doing it.
Yeah, I mean, you can wash dishes and wear an Oculus Rift at the same time.
You know, you can still do that and control the robot.
The robot only needs blinks and your corneas to track.
That's all it needs.
And it can do everything.
Well, what you need to do is like, say, you know, you're stuck at home, you're taking care of your mom or your dad or your aunt or your grandma full time.
Well, you just get a gig also doing that for another person via a robot.
You get a gig piloting a robot who's doing all the same things, you know, but it's got to be an elderly person who has a similar affliction.
You know, you get a you get a gig helping somebody whose whose parent also has dementia.
Yeah.
You know, so that you can like keep them herded at the same time.
You know, somebody who needs help eating, you can feed them both at the same time.
See, that's just I mean, and then you're making fucking bank, dude.
Get three of them, get, you know, hit up the dementia community.
Oh, man.
And it's what.
We can figure it out.
We can also make it to where you're only working with other patients who have similar floor plans to your house.
So you're just going to go through the motion but you're wearing a couple different sensors on your body.
Yeah, this is good.
This is so cool.
Has it?
"Can we all disabled and able-bodied find new communities and participate while being confined to our homes?" He writes on Don's website adding that the line between "disabled" and "able-bodied" has become blurred.
Has it?
Has it?
Has it?
I don't know about that.
It's like the line between autism and no autism has become blurred.
It's like the line between heterosexuality and homosexuality has been blurred.
It's like the line between the color red and the color blue has been blurred by all these other colors in the center.
It's crazy.
I'm not gay, but my robot server that I actually control is super gay.
Oh.
Wow, that is a dystopia.
That's crazy.
Beyond the cafe, the Ori Laboratories robots also work as guides and greeters at department stores, transport stations, and corporate offices throughout Japan, where many employers are turning to robotics and automation to bridge gaps in the labor force.
A 2018 report published by the International Monetary Fund ranks Japan as among the quote most robot integrated economies in the world in terms of robot density with about three robots per human worker in the manufacturing sector.
Great.
Great stuff.
Awesome.
Awesome.
Killer.
Yeah.
So it's so it is like training your replacement, but it's like operating your replacement while it just learns from you via AI.
It's so much like just training your replacement.
And then and this is like, you know, this is coming for all of us.
And this might be, you know, one of the ways your specific job gets outsourced.
Like like mine, for instance, mine, mine would be a very Difficult job to automate completely, but more robotics would do it, and a person remotely operating those robots, who's not a member of a union, maybe not even on American soil, might be able to do it.
You know what though?
The thing is, your job would be very difficult to automate, but it would be more difficult to convince the people with the money who might make that call.
It'd be more difficult to convince them that it'd be difficult because they'd be like, uh, it's, they just, they're just dropping off packages.
That's all they're doing.
That's it.
Robots are already doing that.
They're already doing that.
Why have one, why have one Alexander when we can have four drones?
Weren't people supposed to already be making lots of money being Amazon drone pilots right now?
I don't know.
I remember in 2019, people talking about, oh, I went to a class.
I learned how to fly a drone.
There's going to be big industry any minute now.
They're going to be hiring drone pilots for everything.
Yeah, the number one employer of drone pilots is cool YouTube videos.
Yeah, yeah.
I guess camera, like, there's probably a market for being a camera operator, a drone camera operator, but I gotta believe that market's pretty saturated.
You gotta be, like, high level, getting Getting jobs in Hollywood to really be dictating your salary, I think.
Because you can't even casually... You can't even casually fly a drone anymore.
All the airspace is illegal.
You can't even... They take everything away from us.
Did you see that video?
I think it was a Philly house.
It was like they were using a drone cam as a walkthrough video.
Did you see that?
It wasn't about the drone.
I just watched the video though and I was like, I think they did this with the drone.
It's like a, it's like a tracking shot through the house and then it goes out the back balcony.
And it's like, you know, a nice, whatever, nice, fine looking house.
And then it goes out the back balcony.
It's just overlooking a graveyard.
Oh, wow.
And then it turns around and comes back into the house.
And I was like, wait, wait, what's this camera doing?
And I was like, oh, I think it's a drone.
So you can maybe film people's Airbnb commercials.
Sick.
Yeah.
I have seen walkthroughs of drones, but I haven't seen that particular one.
Sounds cool.
Yeah.
So in addition to being a possible vehicle for outsourcing or driving down wages for the current working class, Another downside of this, I think, is illustrated by this comment from Brent in the bitter rantings of the Unemployable Facebook group, who says, No, no, no.
We need to keep them unemployed.
So them meaning disabled people.
We need to keep them unemployed and on welfare.
So the left has more talking points on why we need the state.
We're talking about people who are, you know, Paralyzed we're talking about people who are confined, you know to like to to once one place and you're and you're still like You're still making it seem like making sure they have have Comfortable life is is like That you're still making it seem like that's bad.
You're like, oh no, you have to have wet keep my welfare You know keep them unemployed.
It's like No, we're trying to give them, uh, you know, we should be giving these people, um, dignity is what we should be giving them.
And they're like, no, they need these talking points.
This is why they do it.
It has nothing to do with anything else.
I mean the obvious downside to this is it's going to be used to kick disabled people off of welfare.
It's going to be used to further be a rhetorical whip against disabled people, people on welfare.
I mean it's being used as a rhetorical whip against people on welfare in this very comment section.
Um it's it's you know it's it's just another like work requirement uh for another segment of the of the population um and it's going to be used to erode that part that very small vestigial part of the government that still exists uh to help people who can't find work can't work
uh can't function and then as robots take over completely I know that I'm sounding like scaremongering or I'm sounding like uh the tech elite promising uh a laborless economy or whatever but I you know I think it it is uh gonna happen to some degree or another um as we're all pushed out of work uh
What happens then, when there's no welfare state, there's no means of income left on a government, from a government organization?
You use the robots to squeeze the last bit of actual labor out of a declining, a shrinking labor force, or a more powerful, currently self-aware labor force, until you can replace them entirely with robots, and then what?
Do we suddenly get the welfare state back?
Do we suddenly get UBI?
Or is there now no mechanism to distribute that because we withered it away so we could put disabled people to work?
You know, if you're chronically disabled, if you're like badly disabled, like part of that might be not being able to work for a shift.
Like for, for hours, you know what I mean?
Even if it is just like eye movements or even if it is just, you know, finger movements or whatever, like you still might not be able to do that.
And like, does that, does that mean that, that like you can't, I don't know, this is so, it's so bad.
It's so fucked.
It's such a fucked up argument.
Yeah.
It's disgusting.
And what's funny thing, things, things about like things like disabilities, what's so, People don't realize that this could be them any, any second.
Sure.
Any, any second now, Brent, there is, there is nothing that is stopping your body from having a, like an aneurysm that is going to make it so that your limbs don't work anymore.
And are you still going to be talking that spicy talk?
Are you going to be like, Oh, I don't want to, I want to, I want, you know, put me back in the workforce.
I mean, another, Another population that overlaps with this population that we're talking about here, elderly people.
Yeah.
Most people become elderly, right?
I think that happens to most of us.
Hopefully.
So not only is this going to be, quote, used to give disabled people a purpose in life and a greater connection to the outside world or whatever.
It's also going to be used to give elderly people a reason to keep on going and a way to be valuable still in their community.
Like, that's also what these robots are going to be used for.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, like immediately.
Like you said, it's really not to help elderly people out.
It's to tap into a labor force that is maybe Going away.
That's all it is.
It's so, so gross.
It's broadening the labor pool to dilute the power of working people.
And it's also catering to specific demographics that they think they can get away with paying less than the current crop of potential employees for that industry.
And you're trying to make it seem like you're doing them a favor too.
That's dignity.
Dignity is being able to work still.
Yeah.
Another way this is bad, another way this idea is very bad, is because it's going to be weaponized against everybody.
refusing to get off benefits and get a job.
Yeah, another way this is bad, another way this idea is very bad is because it's gonna be weaponized against everybody.
It's gonna be weaponized against anybody who's unemployed for any reason. - Yeah, absolutely.
It's going to be weaponized against disabled people who, like I said, might not be able to even operate a robot for a couple hours at a time or whatever, you know?
Able-bodied people are going to be doing fraud to control robots to have an easier job.
That's going to happen.
Somebody in these replies was like, oh, laying on a bed and making minimum wage all day?
Count me the frickin... Come on.
How old are you?
Like, what?
I don't think so.
You realize that means you can't play video games, right?
Well, no, see, that's the thing.
That is the video game.
It's tight.
Uh, yeah.
Cafe simulator.
Erica says, "And 18 year olds are getting disability "because they're stressed out from not knowing "which bathroom to use.
"Go USA." Yeah, so just further like denigrating the idea of having a disability or like, What 18-year-olds do you think are getting a disability for gender issues?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I love that they make everything about that.
They are so obsessed with gender.
It's so wild.
Because there's no speak of this.
There's been no mention of gender at all.
There hasn't even been some joke about sex robots or anything like that.
But here they are.
They're like, nope.
This is just 18-year-olds that are getting disability because they're stressed out about not knowing which bathroom to use.
We're talking about people with ASL right now, bro.
ALS, I mean.
Sorry.
With ALS right now.
What are you talking about?
How many people do you think are on unemployment in this country?
How easy do you think it is to get unemployment?
It's not.
How long do you think these people are on unemployment for?
Not very long.
America is known for having shitty unemployment benefits.
America's known for having shitty employed benefits, let alone unemployed benefits.
Come on.
And then the not knowing which bathroom thing to use.
That's just a boomer meme.
That's like, oh, I talked to my 18 year old employee and I asked him if he knew how to start a lawnmower.
And then he said, oh, I got workers comp because I'm so triggered by your question.
And then I had to pay him $50,000 a year to stay at home.
- $1,000 a year to stay at home. - To do nothing. - That's it for that story.
Very funny to be in the type of group that would see forcing paralyzed people into service work as wholesome and heartwarming.
We love to see it, folks.
Jesus Christ, like, people were comparing it to Warhammer in the comments, but I guess favorably?
Like, again, your warped sense of media consumption is so bad that not only do you see the fascist space marines as the heroes, but also the ones that are like, uh piloted by a human soul or whatever yeah you know a robot piloted by a human consciousness or soul uh that's that's based actually Yeah, that's the best part.
And, I mean, another thing is it's very funny how quickly these people will say that things like service work is actually a dignified position.
If you're paralyzed, it's actually very dignified, and it gives you a purpose to go do that job we've been talking shit on for the last 30 years.
To go do that job that we say is only for teenagers and mental subhumans.
Working fast food or working as a server or whatever.
Oh, all of a sudden it's great and it's dignified labor when we get to make a paralyzed person do it.
Yeah, exactly.
It's so condescending, it's so patronizing, but that's not at all.
I'll never click for them.
So
the next thing I wanted to talk about, did you know that Bill Maher's been up to some shit?
Not Bill Maher.
Not old Billy Maher.
That guy's face, man.
It's a weird face.
Yeah, so Bill Maher, I like to check in what stupid shit Bill Maher is saying from time to time.
And this popped into my feed.
It's not just a white thing.
Maher defends Jefferson and Washington over slavery.
What?
I think it's great.
I think the more these people have to grapple with the fact that the Founding Fathers were slave owners, because I mean, I remember that blowing my mind in like high school.
In high school or maybe even middle school or elementary school, whenever I kind of realized that they were slave owners being like, wow, that's really fucked up.
I feel like it's a it's a very existential moment for any American to have to learn that fact.
Yeah yeah it's it's it's because we're kind of raised to to like be taught that there was like only like four plantations in the south of like there were like seven evil dudes and no no white people you know now were ever related to any of them.
They they stopped the bloodline right there I think that shows how much respect he had for slaves.
like oh yeah george washington's teeth weren't they weren't made of wood they weren't made of wood they were pulled out of his slaves they were slave teeth and it's like oh shit i think that shows i think that shows how much respect he had for slaves uh that he wanted their teeth yeah i mean talk about walking a mile in someone's someone's shoes you know How about, you know, chewing a couple mils with their teeth?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
I'm just finding out about this.
Gwen Stefani couldn't reach these levels of cultural appropriation.
Have you heard what George Washington did?
He started wearing black teeth.
He got some black chompers installed in his mouth.
That's freaky shit, man.
Did Rachel Dozel ever get a black person organ transplant or anything like that?
I don't think so.
George Washington is the OG of culture appropriation.
I guess there's a discourse right now over people being upset saying that tooth gems are culture appropriation.
Um, which is funny because I kind of get what they're trying to do there, but like if you were comparing a tooth gem to a grill, you're like not giving any respect to grills.
Yeah, I thought the only time I can think of tooth gems is as part of a grill.
I don't, like, I don't know.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
I'm like, no, tooth gems are definitely just like, you know, they're, they're, they're fine.
They're, they're, they're probably not good for your teeth.
Probably not doing good things for your teeth, but I don't think they're cultural appropriation.
Well, you heard it here, folks.
You got a pass from Tony Boswell to get a tooth gem.
Go do it.
Yeah, no, I feel like it's great.
We should always talk about how the Founding Fathers were slaves, because like you said, Tony, they'll say, oh, slavery wasn't even that widespread, or like, oh, you want to indict all of the South?
You want to condemn all of the South?
Well, only 3% of Southerners owned slaves.
I don't know if that's the real percentage, but that's one of the figures they cite.
And then you'll say, yeah, I know, it was like the most, it was the people who founded this nation.
It was the people who were in charge of this nation.
White, land-owning males.
Also the, you know, the founders or whatever.
And then they'll say, well, that was just the thing at the time you did if you were an incredibly wealthy and powerful person.
And so you can't really blame them for, and it's so, it's this doublespeak they do with, oh, it was extremely rare and only 3%.
My ancestors never owned slaves.
But also, it was the style at the time, so you can't fault those 3% for doing it because it was such a popular thing.
They get real quick to dehumanize the slaves, real fast, because they'd be like, I've literally heard people be like, what are they supposed to do, not buy a tractor?
If everyone has a tractor, you're gonna get a tractor.
It's like, no, these are humans.
These are human beings.
Well, you could say something like, if your competitors own a tractor and you want to compete with your competitor, you want to make more money than your competitors, or you want to continue to make money, then yes, you're going to get that tractor.
And that's not a defense of the employer.
That's an indictment of capitalism.
It's almost like, yeah, there was a systematic reason for this happening.
Yeah.
This article though, yeah, so this is a podcast.
These are statements made on a podcast that actually hasn't been released.
I believe it will be released the same day as this episode you're listening to right now.
So we don't have any direct audio from it, but I do have clips or quotes courtesy of The Daily Caller.
Comedian and host of the, quote, Club Random podcast.
Oh, God.
Did you know that's what it was called?
I hate that there's a thing called the Club Random podcast and they pull guests like Bill Maher.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That's his podcast.
Oh my god, that's his podcast.
Club Random!
That's so random.
Oh my god.
Yeah, hi.
It's me, Bill Maher, and you're listening to Naked Ninja Monkey Assassin Hour.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How are all my pandas out there? - Sorry. - So I woke up this morning and I thought, I was feeling, you know what?
I feel like a dinosaur.
Rawr.
Rawr.
That's the name of his duty.
If you're Bill Maher, your podcast is called the Bill Maher podcast, idiot.
What are you doing?
Yeah, people are gonna do what I just did.
You know?
Club Random.
I'm gonna listen to the Sean Penn episode that just came out five days ago.
Oh, fuck.
That sounds so awful.
It sounds really bad.
It's just, they're just complaining about cancel culture the whole time.
Yeah.
I'm sure.
Talking about how good water is.
Bill Maher defended former presidents Thomas Jefferson and George Washington over their ownership of slaves while talking to actor Bryan Cranston.
This, like, blew my mind.
Because the headline is all about how he's saying, oh, slavery was fine.
It's fine.
It's actually good.
Not how.
Uh and then yeah but he's talking to Brian Cranston in this interview.
The duo were talking about religion and sermons when Marr brought up the topic of slavery.
Quote, I've talked about it on my show.
I mean slavery for the people who are wanting to cancel Thomas Jefferson and George Washington because they had slaves and everybody else when in an era when everyone had slaves who could afford it including people of color in other parts of the world.
Oh my god.
That's my fucking favorite.
You know other parts of the world, people of color also did this, so we're fine.
Yeah, I mean, except they didn't.
Like, chattel slavery wasn't a thing except in America.
It's a unique American evil.
It's a very specific thing, yeah.
Yes, slavery of all kinds is bad.
America did the worst kind of it for the longest period of time.
I love it.
Yeah, I've talked about it on my show.
You know, like, I like to bring up randomly on my show about how black people had slaves.
That's always coming up for some reason.
It's always black-on-black crime.
It's how black people own slaves.
It's how the Democrats actually were the Southerners.
It's all these things.
It's really weird, but I'm brave.
I talk about these things.
I don't care.
I'm here to talk about these things.
People don't talk about slavery enough, I feel like.
Quote, it was a human thing.
It's not just a white thing, Marr continued.
Okay, so if you're going to cancel Jefferson in Washington, you have to cancel Jesus.
Because he never spoke against it.
It's not in the Old Testament.
There's a million rules about slavery.
None of them are, don't do it.
You know Jesus isn't in the Old Testament either.
Like, just for the record.
But, like, fuck off.
And also, we were canceling everyone else that had slaves then, too.
People aren't hating just George Washington and Thomas Jefferson.
It's everybody.
It's all of them.
Like, yeah, it was a human thing, but what you're forgetting is that black people were not allowed to be human.
That's kind of the whole part.
It's a huge chunk of it.
Absolutely.
Literally, the humanity was stripped from black people.
So you don't even get to use that argument.
Fuck you.
I love being like, actually, did you know there are slaves in the Old Testament?
Yeah!
Wasn't a big part of that slaves escaping with the help of God?
It's like the direct intervention of God against slavery.
Didn't that happen?
Didn't God send plagues because of this?
Weren't actual plagues sent to Earth because of this?
In large part because of the slavery, didn't that happen?
Uh, it's so, it's so good.
Quote, so I just want to hear them answer that question.
What about your boy Jesus, the Prince of Peace?
Mar said, arguing it, quote, never crossed Jesus's mind to condemn slavery.
I love that so much.
Oh, you hate slavery?
Guess you got to condemn Jesus.
Jesus was probably a slave owner.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You ever thought about that?
I mean, think about it.
Were the apostles paid?
I don't know.
The duo then talked about critical race theory and Cranston suggesting the U.S.
has not taken responsibility for, quote, systemic racism and slavery, prompting Maher to push back.
So Bill Cranston, still good.
He still seems good.
Fuck yeah.
Hal forever.
Yeah, that's the guy.
I've seen longer excerpts of their back-and-forth on this.
It's so stupid.
It's just so frustrating listening to other people have a discussion about something you're like, shut the fuck up.
Yeah, both Jefferson and Washington owned slaves.
Okay, doo-doo-doo.
No, yeah.
Brian Cranston said that we should be teaching about the horrors of slavery.
We should be teaching CRT in high school.
He did the thing where instead of being like, oh, CRT is actually a college-level course, and it doesn't happen in elementary schools or high schools or whatever.
Instead of doing that, he said, no, we should teach CRT to high school students, which, yeah, it's fine.
Yeah.
Some of these responses though, oh my god, were so good.
Cyan Pumpkin.
This is in the Daily Caller comment section.
Mar nailed it.
One of the biggest mistakes anyone can make is judging historical figures by contemporary standards.
I have no doubt at all that some of today's loudest voices on anti-slavery would have been slave owners themselves 200 years ago.
That includes many of today's, quote, civil rights activists, otherwise known as race pimps.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's probably.
Yep.
Uh-huh.
That's totally what it is.
people would have been slave owners.
Yeah.
Part of me feels like she's, I mean, I don't think that Cyan Pumpkin's talking about black people, right?
Yeah, they are.
I mean, they said the word pimp.
Yeah, that's wild.
I don't think you're right here.
I don't think you're onto something.
I don't think that these people would have been, like you said, it's only 3%.
I think there are some loudmouth billionaires right now who are doing something almost equivalent to, you know, that is more on par to slavery with their wage theft and whatnot, but I don't think that these people would have necessarily been slave owners.
It's such a good argument to be like, oh, you're anti-racist, you think that slavery did untold damage, that it echoes forward, you know, throughout the centuries.
Actually, I think you would have been a slave owner, actually.
You were probably a slave owner back then if you would have been alive.
Again, it's like their argument against themselves, against all white people being indicted with slavery, which I don't, you know, I don't think all white people should be indicted for slavery.
Their argument against that is only, you know, a small percentage of white people were slave owners, but also all the black people I don't like.
They would have been slave owners because, did you know?
Black people own slaves too.
Was it a significant percent less than white people?
Like, the percentage of white people or whatever is like 3% who own slaves.
If that's the case, what percentage of black people do you think own slaves?
Come on.
Yeah.
And they even have to have the caveat of, like, in other places in the world, they can't even say where or how or what it looked like.
They just keep it vague.
Yeah.
That works.
I think you would have been a slave owner, actually.
So there.
But I would have been one of the good ones, you know, that they also talk about that exist.
They also say those people existed.
One of the good ones.
Well, that's why they get rid of Splash Mountain.
They don't want you knowing about the good slave owners.
Yeah.
Janice says, there is no mystery here.
This is on the Facebook comment section.
There is no mystery here.
The Founding Fathers were wealthy, educated white men who obviously believed that owning other humans was somehow moral, rational, and acceptable.
Yeah, this is like, on the face of it, the obvious description of what happened.
They justified it to themselves.
They were men in positions of power who were able to justify what their power afforded them.
Alex No Relation replies, no, they were British subjects.
Parentheses, there was no America.
They inherited that system but won our independence, wrote the Constitution, gave us the Bill of Rights, and took us away from slavery.
Though it took a civil war to get the Democrats to surrender their slaves in 1865.
You sound racist, sexist, and anti-American.
Wow, I never thought about it like that.
Calling George Washington racist actually sounds pretty racist when you think about it.
Yeah, that's pretty fucking racist.
Again, you're calling George Washington racist.
Did you know he had black teeth?
Did you know that?
It's so funny.
Oh, did you know that actually America abolished slavery?
Yeah, you know that?
Republicans did?
Listen, this is like sins of the father.
You're blaming our founding fathers for sins of their father, which was the Brits, the British.
They were just doing what they learned from the British.
They were actually British when they owned slaves.
Yeah.
And when they freed the slaves, they were American.
That's a great metric to measure it by.
Also, did you know that England abolished slavery before America?
I don't know exactly how you're blaming England for America's slavery.
Yeah, it's kind of like, they don't understand the timeline, too.
They don't understand, like, I don't think people realize how long slavery went on for.
Okay, last comment here is from Tal in the Daily Caller comment section.
He says, while I can't speak for every black person, Shaquille, spelled with a C, Shaquille, Cornell, Jamal, Khalil, Lamarcus, and Rashad have all had their reparations.
Stay away from my wife!
The debt is paid!
Eight exclamation points.
Nah, this is funny.
I like this joke.
This is a good joke.
I think it's a pretty good joke.
That's not what reparations is.
It's not what reparations is.
I love how racist this is too.
I like how this is super racist and it's also like they all fucked his wife.
It's both.
It's so good.
Well, I don't know if it's a shit post or not.
Like, I don't know if it's somebody who is making fun of these people or if it's... they're just saying the quiet part loud.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I love... these names are so racist.
Well, no, it's Shaquille O'Neal, Cornell West, maybe?
West?
Jamal?
I don't know who Jamal is.
No, these are just like black sounding names.
These are just like black names.
This is not a real list of people.
This is just the names that he imagines the men who don't take their shoes off when they have sex have.
What?
Don't take their shoes off?
Yeah.
Oh, because they're going to run out the door?
Is that what you're saying?
No, that's a thing.
That's a thing in interracial porn.
The dudes tend to put their sneakers back on.
I don't know if it's a traction thing, or if it's another layer of racism that's happening.
But something's happening there.
Yeah, I don't know.
I was just... I don't follow sports.
I thought these were gonna be like rich celebrities who already got money.
Who like already got enough money and enough white women or whatever.
No, this is literally like... No, my wife cucks me with black men.
Therefore, racism is over.
Yeah.
You know, we've actually done our part.
Oh, you call yourself an ally?
When's the last time you were cucked?
Oh man.
I was imagining this guy getting cucked by Cornel West.
I bet.
And Chuck Hill.
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