My gas stove and oven now uses the pronouns of cook and bake
Happy M&M meltdown January, the annual tradition where we rend our garments and rip the hair from our heads over woke m&m's. This year, there's too many women on the package. Also: the right wing spins itself into a frenzy, first pretending that Joe Biden is going to ban gas stoves, then pretending to defy such a ban by coming increasingly close to burning their houses down. Support the show for $5/month and get a weekly bonus episode of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a week. Also get access to our entire back catalogue including BUTT FEST 2000 with Bryan Quinby; live-reads of My Antifa Lover, Rodham, and Ladies First: A MAGA Hat Romance; movie episodes like Believe, To Die For, and Loqueesha; and hundreds more. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult Music: Gel - Mental Static Kownloon Walled City - Oxygen Tent
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
But stay tuned, guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're going to the desert.
All there in Barbados, stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Uh, M&Ms, they frickin' went woke.
Did you know that- I- I thought- I thought they already went woke.
Uh, but apparently they just went woke.
I'm concerned there's a new level of woke that I'm not aware of now, and that- that is- really scares me.
Uh, I'm- Okay, yeah.
Okay.
Terrified.
Alternative intro.
Um.
The world is ending.
Not filling your home with natural gas is responsible.
We're documenting it.
Patriots, they are trying to prevent you from filling your home with colorless and somewhat odorless gas.
Do not listen.
Do not allow them to subdue you.
Don't do it.
Matter of fact, keep a candle lit at all times.
Yeah, what's up everybody?
So it's January, so you know what that means.
Happy Eminem Meltdown January.
It is apparently a new holiday, so happy Eminem Meltdown January to all who celebrate, to all who observe.
It seems like there's a lot of observers here.
It was funny when this new thing, so the M&Ms, they put out a woman's bag.
They put out a bag just for the ladies, just for the gals, like a wrapper, like a little piece of plastic trash.
Hey, it's all for you girls.
Don't say we never gave you anything.
And I was like, I thought M&M's were already bad, because everybody's screaming about how bad M&M's and the woman's bag is.
And I was like, I could have sworn M&M's are already bad.
And then I remembered almost exactly a year ago, to the day, like I think it's January 23rd, 2022.
The right wing was also flipping their wigs because this time, I think they, that time, I think they made the green M&M less sexy.
Yep.
Yep.
And you would think that, you would think that, you know, to them, a room full of just women is kind of sexy, but this is like a boardroom.
You know, this, a candy pack is more like a boardroom than a bedroom.
So this is not sexy.
We don't like this.
A room full of women.
Okay, too powerful.
A room full of women sounds degenerate to me.
Like, who's in charge?
You know, the tallest woman?
That doesn't sound right.
Yeah, that's not fair.
Yeah, so... Yeah, so go back to our Patreon episode from January 2023, which was... What's the title of that episode?
That was a pretty good title.
Let me see if I can find it real quick.
See, the thing about M&M's is you have the meltdown in your mouth, not in your hands.
That's pretty good.
Do they still say that?
I have no idea.
I don't think they went woke.
That doesn't sound very woke to me.
I don't think they can say that anymore.
The name of that episode, yeah, from January 23rd, 2022 on the Minion Death Cult Patreon feed, the name of the episode is RIDICULOUS!
THERE GOES MY BELOVED M&M'S!
SO STUPID!
Yes, I said the R&S words!
Which are ridiculous and stupid.
You know?
You can only be pushed so far, folks.
Alright?
Something's gotta give.
Yeah, I'm gonna take the gloves off.
You know?
Give it to you raw.
Also, last week on the Patreon, had a very fun episode all about the fascist uprising in Brazil, and all of them getting rounded up, and the right wing in America looking at that and saying, hey, why not us?
Why don't we do this?
For the January 6th, that was fake.
This one was real though.
And it looks pretty good.
So, might get a sequel out of that.
Also on that episode, talking about the size and shape and thickness of the skulls of part-time workers.
Could this be why they are paid less money?
Is it because they lack the lobes of a full-time employee?
Gotta go to patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult to find out.
Yeah, it's good stuff over there.
So I was looking, I saw Ben Shapiro did some tweet about like...
Oh, if these M&Ms are women, can I fuck them?
Or something like that.
Something to that effect.
And I was looking for it for this episode, trying to go back and find it, and the first thing I saw instead of that tweet was a front-facing camera video Ben Shapiro did about the M&Ms, about the female M&M bag.
And this is, it's great because now this is like, it used to be mostly the purview of, you know, wraparound Oakley truck guys ranting about college students or whatever that they saw on the internet.
Now just the front facing, like, only your head is in the frame of the video.
That's just like standard format now because of TikTok.
Yeah, it's weird.
It's like, cause it's still oddly polished.
When they do it.
It's like a produced version to look not produced.
It's so strange, but they do it, you know?
Like our girl, the one from his new show that we watched who did like the fake TikTok interface for her react posts.
Yeah, the comment section with Parker Bradley.
Yeah.
Yeah no this is even worse than that because that at least she was sitting behind a desk in that and it had like three cameras this is just him holding a phone and staring into it and god what a stare it is i mean jesus but um there's edits in this too and this is on youtube this isn't like This isn't, uh, TikTok, but it's YouTube stealing the tick.
They call it like, oh, it's, it's the YouTube quick, quick, quick clips section or something like that, which is like their TikTok style feed for just for YouTube.
So that's where I saw this and I watched it and I thought, wow, this is even better than a tweet.
Uh, let's hear what Ben Shapiro has to say about the woke M&Ms.
Oh, and I do want to say, somebody replied to me when I mentioned that it's just like every January now, we're having a conniption fit about M&Ms.
Somebody was like, I wonder if Like, candy sales typically dip in January because it's post-holiday.
It's post-Halloween, post-Christmas.
And if, in that case, M&M's doesn't do some fucking stunt to try and get the branding out there in a typically slow month like January, like, I don't know, make the green M&M a girl boss or make her a lesbian with the brown M&M.
Or do a bag just for the ladies in January to try and desperately boost sales.
I think that's a pretty good theory.
I want that to be true so I have something to look forward to after the holidays.
Get us through that slump.
Get us through that post-holiday slump.
I won't really give a shit until I get a day off for M&M Monday.
Should be the middle Monday in January, I think.
Well, this is where it starts.
Well, 30 is a middle Monday in January you get off.
I don't get that one off.
You don't get that one off?
I don't get MLK Day off, no.
Well, if you're not gonna get the black guy off, you're definitely not gonna get the chocolate candy off.
There's no way.
Okay, but yeah, so let's watch this video.
Let's hear Ben Shapiro take the woke M&Ms down a peg.
So apparently Mars is now releasing a brand new bag of all-female M&Ms.
Let me just say to all of you wokesters who are excited, why are you so stupid?
I'm as stupid as a stupid does.
So, 30-year-old reference?
It's like the first thing that came to your mind when you thought of the word stupid was, oh, Forrest Gump, of course!
Yeah, his mom had the chocolate quote.
You didn't even go with the chocolate quote, man.
I know.
It's a box of chocolates, not a bag of chocolates.
Yeah.
And you know what?
Mom was more prescient than she could have imagined, because life is like a box of chocolates, which is fucking insane right now.
The boxes of chocolates are fucking nuts, and so is life.
So I think mama was right.
I don't understand.
Is this the thing you get excited about in the morning?
No, nobody gets excited about this except you, Ben Shapiro.
This is like, this is like your second, uh, well, I was going to say Christmas, but your second Hanukkah, bro.
This is like fucking payday for you.
And right here to, to show a clip, a clip of excitement.
The idea of excitement has been edited in.
It's a clip from friends of somebody going, yay.
In the morning.
So yeah, it's a 20-year-old reference.
Wow.
That's more recent, I guess.
Ben Shapiro just blew my mind by telling me that corporations take my money?
That's nuts.
M&M's.
Understand that the woke corporations are stealing the money from your pocket because you are being an idiot and they are- Ben Shapiro just blew my mind by telling me that corporations take my money?
That's nuts.
I've never heard of this one before.
I mean, now I'm worried that like there's more M&M's on the bag because there's less M&M's in the bag.
Yeah, totally.
They don't want you using your gas stoves anymore because they want to take all that gas and put it into the M&M bag to artificially fill the content so it looks like there's more in there.
And they say it's a preservative or whatever.
Oh sure, it's great.
It's bad for you, citizen.
You're not allowed to inhale the natural gas, as is your God-given right.
It's only for M&Ms.
Only M&Ms are allowed to do that.
Only for sexy female M&Ms.
You would, like, lose your mind if they did that.
making you fat at the same exact time plus as it turns out i am looking forward to finding out whether the all-female m&m's bag cost 77 cents on the dollar at least that would be a big win for the rest of america you understand these will corporate you would like lose your mind if they did that if they did that you would be driven even more insane of america you understand these will corporations they're just virtue signaling to get you to give them money and if you're stupid enough to do so
and all of you wokesters who hate capitalism you're just being suckered by the man so best of luck to mars company and enjoy your all-female m&m's Okay, so in this 50 second YouTube quick byte, I think it's called, Ben Shapiro has informed us that corporations only want to take your money, which is crazy.
I've never heard of that before.
I'm gonna have to look into that one.
And also, these woke gimmicks that corporations are doing?
Actually, that's capitalism, baby.
And if you fall for it, you're falling for capitalism.
Fucking idiot.
I like how in his mind people are like, just, they're gonna discover M&M's through this ad campaign.
They're gonna be like, what is this little bite-sized chocolate candy coated candy?
What's going on with this?
This is wild.
And they're the ones who are getting exposed, they're the suckers.
Or like, if you like M&M's, do you have to just stop buying M&M's now?
You would.
You would have to stop buying M&Ms to voice your disagreement, to vote with your tax dollars.
No, he thinks like... I don't know, he thinks that the left, or liberals, or wokesters, or progressives, are like the right, where they will performatively go out and buy extra stuff to make the other side mad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like he thinks you're going to buy two bags of candy to stick it to men.
You're going to buy two bags of candy of the women's candy.
And I will say one thing he said was right, which is if you like, quote, fall for this, you're probably pretty stupid.
Like.
Oh, yeah.
Like who is who is saying, oh, it's good.
They put the women on the on the candy.
That means they like women like.
That's pretty, like, low-hanging fruit.
I don't know.
I don't know who's being tricked by that.
Do we know if they are doing anything besides the package?
Because, like, I mean, you've seen the package, right?
You've seen how fucking clever- I hate- That's what I hate more about is how clever they think they're being with the package.
Have you seen it?
Have you actually looked at it?
Yeah, do you want me to say it or do you want to say it?
Yeah, the supporting women flipping the status quo.
And so the Eminem ladies are upside down, the package.
And I guess you're supposed to flip it to see them correctly.
But like, are they actually doing something?
Is there a way that they're like, are they like supporting like women in business initiatives type things?
Yeah, they're actually supporting women by not making them pick their chocolate.
They're using children instead.
Oh, that's true.
That's true.
Yeah.
Huge, huge W for women.
And speaking of W, that's another reason that the M&Ms are upside down is because it says W and W instead of M&M.
So it's women and women.
Oh, wow.
So they're being even more clever, Tony.
I hate that part.
I think it's great that Ben Shapiro explained that woke corporations is actually capitalism to own the libs.
I think that's pretty amazing that he's like, oh, idiot, this is actually capitalism.
It's like, wait, what?
That's what we've been fucking saying, man!
We've been telling you that when you say virtue signaling, what you're talking about is trying to get money out of people.
What you're talking about is hollow gestures that are not actually progressivism, that are not actually, like, benefiting women materially, or anything like that.
It's what capitalism has to offer, which is, what, like, uh, shitty representational politics?
In quotes?
Like, oh, there's a woman Eminem on the bag.
That means, uh, that means I'm winning.
Women are winning, folks.
Well, guess what, Ben?
This is just the free market, baby.
You can put women on your package all day if you want to sell more.
No one's stopping you.
You know, this is how we do it.
Yeah, I mean, it's like they say, go woke, go broke.
But it's kind of rare that that's actually happened.
It's usually done so that they can make more money.
That's usually why they go woke, is because they think it'll make them more money.
And then if it doesn't, they change tactics.
Yeah, I mean, if that was if that wasn't the case, they wouldn't be making these moves in, you know, 2023.
You know, these are all things that would just be built into the companies already.
They wouldn't have to be doing this performative stuff now.
Dude, this this stare that he's giving to the camera is like, so he's just like looking dead eyed into the camera.
It's just it's just like, oh, when you try to explain that gender is a cultural phenomenon and all you get back is that gas stove stare.
I love his, uh... I think the phone thing is kind of not working for him, because you can really see his... I'm not knocking it, but you can really see his makeup in this picture.
I haven't really noticed it before.
But that's really TV makeup, and this is a phone camera, and like, it's... It's kind of creepy.
The creepiest part to me is his lips.
Like, you can see how pursed his lips are.
Like, how smudged together his lips are, like he's...
Really fighting the urge to say a slur.
Yeah, yeah, it wants to come out, and I'm sure the orange tint on his skin does not help that that because I think that that also brings out those slurs on people.
When I see people with that that that tone of skin, I'm ready for a slur.
OK, some responses to this video that I saw in the comments were pretty good.
As usual, pretty good stuff.
Let me just pull it up here.
Jeremy Wheeler says, on this video, I've always dreamed of it being politically correct to put women in a bag.
Oh, God.
What?
What?
Average Ben Shapiro fan.
Yeah.
Also, it's on a bag.
Does he think that they're saying that all- I guess that is what they're saying that all those little M&M's in there are also little women M&M's.
No, I bet you still get the male- the male coated M&M's.
I bet you still get like a red one and a yellow one in there.
They better tell me before I put it in my mouth.
Right.
I don't want to put no- I want to put no gay ones in my mouth.
Wow, if you love women so much, why can't I abduct and kill one?
Huh?
Jeez.
You ever think about that?
That's so weird to say out loud.
It is kind of true.
It's kind of funny.
how they don't want to assign gender to people, but they do to M&Ms.
And this one is kind of, it is kind of true.
It's kind of funny.
Not that they don't want to assign gender to people because, well, when they say assign, they mean like your parents.
You don't want parents to assign gender.
But people are allowed to have a gender, Amy.
Maybe that's what you're saying.
Maybe that's where you're confused.
I don't know.
But they do want to assign gender to M&Ms.
It is pretty funny to assign a gender to an M&M.
I don't think we need to do that.
No, I don't think so.
I do like that they didn't just go for the natural joke of the one with nuts being the male and the other one not being the male.
I'm happy they did go beyond that.
I mean, that's literally every other response, Tony.
That's why I didn't bother.
Oh, I'm sure.
It's not that good of a joke.
I think Ben Shapiro made that joke on Twitter.
But I do think it's funny to be like, Yeah, it's like gender's already kind of fake, but then to assign it to an M&M, you're just like, you're totally belittling.
You're belittling the idea, the very idea of gender.
I mean, it's funny to make Conservatives freak out about it, though.
I guess I guess that's kind of funny.
And then last last comment on this video is from Alva Alva Harrison, who says, I think it's even funnier that they tried to avoid racial stereotypes like yellow for Asian and just left out the primary colors, but they still left in brown.
I think it's funny that they got rid of the racism, except for the part where I still managed to find some, because I'm assuming that they're saying that Brown M&M is black.
Yeah.
Uh, what's the green M&M?
What is... Irish?
I don't know, I...
I love, yeah, they left out the yellow M&M, not because being like the second most famous M&M is a man.
First of all, voiced by like an Oscar winner, voiced by, what's his name?
Uh, from, uh, Spider-Man.
Uh, the, uh, He's got initials in his name.
He's from Oz.
He's from Spider-Man.
He's from Whiplash.
That guy is the voice of the yellow M&M.
That is the voice of the M&M.
I just, I didn't realize that until right now.
I love they were like, no, they didn't want to do a yellow M&M because they'd have to put like slanty eyes on it.
They'd have to put like a rice paddy hat.
They'd have to make them wear an ice.
So they, so that's why they didn't make the yellow female M&M.
But, these frickin' idiots, they put a brown one in there.
It's like, what am I gonna think?
What am I gonna think when I look at that brown M&M?
Yeah.
It's insane.
It's pretty basic stuff here.
I love that.
If you're gonna genderize them, may as well racialize them.
I mean, go for it.
Yeah, so the Eminem thing was like, it was kind of a big flashpoint it was kind of a big flashpoint for like a second before it got overtaken this week by the gas stove incident. - I can't.
So I saw this last week.
Because I saw it when the report was released that having a gas stove in your home is more dangerous than previously thought.
That it can release chemicals into your home and supposedly like one in eight cases of childhood asthma is linked to having a gas stove in your home.
I don't know, like, you know, there's, there's like conspiratorial thinking about this and we'll get into it.
If a health organization tells me, Hey, you know what?
It's actually, we've studied it.
It's actually kind of dangerous to burn fossil fuels inside your own home.
Like, especially where you're like standing over it.
I would be like, I didn't even really need the study.
I kind of just believe you when you say that inhaling natural gas probably isn't good for you.
I mean, that's the difference between, you know, me and you, is you would just believe that.
Like, I would have to, you know, bait the question, like, what's wrong with you if you can't appreciate the romance of an open flame?
I would say you're cucked for worrying about whether it's healthy or not at all.
I accept that it's unhealthy just because it makes sense, logically, that it's unhealthy.
I don't want to stop doing it.
I mean, we've all known that cooking food can be unhealthy in general, so, like, think about that.
Do you know how many carcinogens are inside of charred foods?
I don't know.
Like, let's just, like, come on, a lot.
It's all carcinogens, baby.
Whoa.
You know, yeah, and that stuff will kill you pretty slowly, but pretty swiftly, if you know what I mean.
Next thing they're gonna tell us is that red meat is bad for you.
Oh, not if you not see that's what I'm saying.
It's the char of the red meat that's bad for you.
That's why everyone has to use a sous-vide from now on.
All cooking must be done in a sous-vide.
No, uh, you just eat it raw, then you got no problems at all.
Cut out the middleman.
Oh, but the- Oh!
The raw people advocating for the eating of raw beef.
We thought they were based.
We thought they were right-wing, you know, trad alphas.
Nope.
Turns out they've been working hand in glove with the anti-natural gas stove people.
They don't want you to cook your meat at all.
Oh, you don't need it.
You don't need a stove.
You'll eat your meat cold and be happy.
You'll eat no cooked meat.
You'll be great.
You won't even miss it.
That doesn't make sense.
Big Gas was the one funding Liver King the whole time.
That makes complete sense to me.
I'm not even shocked anymore.
Nothing surprises me anymore, really.
Yeah, that's my next alternative conspiracy theory, is that Jordan Peterson and the Liver King and everybody else who's on the raw meat, all-beef diet, they're actually trying to get that stove banned from your home.
Yeah, they're working for big gas.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's why we've teamed up with Lodge Cast Irons to spread advocacy on cooking things.
Yeah.
So this is from the Donald Patriots dot win.
They're all responding to just the news that inhaling natural gas might be bad for you.
And I just have some good responses here.
Mayor of Kekistan.
Says, Now they're telling us that gardening and exposing our hands to soil can lead to heart attacks, so stop growing your own food.
Uh, nobody did that, I guarantee you.
Nobody did that!
Yeah, whatever you do, don't go outside and work.
Uh, that's really bad for your heart.
That's not gr- Yeah, that's totally what, uh, the American Medical Association is advocating for.
I wonder if there was, I think there was like something about like, um, being aware of, uh, cats using your, your garden, um, to use the bathroom and like being aware of that.
But that's all I can think of.
Like, that's the only thing I can think of for being on the stretch.
Cause like, that's a thing that can like cause some, some sort of disease, like heart disease.
I don't, it's not, it's, it's not heart disease.
It's like a neurological disorder.
It's called toxoplasmosis.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
Which breaks your heart.
Think about it.
Yeah.
That's like the only thing I can think of that's stretching here.
Other than that, this sounds completely just, yeah, they're just, no one said that.
No one said anything like that.
Well, the mayor of Kekistan said it.
He said it.
So I don't know.
I don't know who to believe.
He also goes on to say, then they said that owning a firearm leads to 150% higher risk of self-inflicted wounds.
So get rid of your guns too.
This is like, these are such old statistics, man.
This is like, fuckin' Firearm Safety 101.
Is that?
Like, yes, you are far more likely to kill yourself, uh, to commit suicide by gun if you have a gun in your house, obviously.
Uh, but also you're just more likely to shoot yourself or somebody in the house by accident.
That's so funny.
He said, well, they're just going way back there.
He's saying they've been going at this for years.
I'm bringing up these really old things.
This really old, really old thing that this is the beginning for years now that we knew they were coming for our stoves.
We just didn't realize it would be so soon.
I thought I thought my grandkids were going to have to fight for their gas stoves.
OK, final then I'm not joking.
That not wearing your seatbelt can lead to contracting COVID.
So go get your booster!
Clown emoji.
They ALWAYS try to scare you into doing what makes you most vulnerable to them.
So this one is funny.
Not wearing your seatbelt can lead to contracting COVID.
Do you know what this is a reference to, Tony?
No, no clue.
Well, I'm curious because they're not joking, so this is the one I'm most intrigued by.
It's funny because what he's referring to, like this whole kerfuffle, this whole response to the gas stove thing, is a perfect example of what he's mockingly referring to
Which is that, not that not wearing your seatbelt leads to COVID, it's that the type of person who refuses to wear their seatbelt is the same type of person who refuses to wear a mask, is the same type of person who refuses to get the vaccine, or not cough on people out of respect.
Like, the knee-jerk contrarianism That runs through a lot of Americans, manifests in multiple ways, such as not wearing your seatbelt or contracting COVID.
I love that.
You're saying this is some sort of statement put out by some health agency, but what it really was was just an honest observation made by people.
Made of you.
An observation of you that they made.
It's also like, listen, I've looked at the statistics, I've done my own research, and I fundamentally do not understand what a normal
medical or a normal statistical argument actually says when I read a statistical argument that says there's a correlation between not wearing your seat belt and also getting COVID we think that it's because of this factor you read that and you're like oh now they're trying to say not wearing your seat belt causes COVID It's like, you don't even understand, like, an if-then argument.
You don't even understand, like, correlation, man.
I can't take your advice about gastos.
I'm sorry.
What's great, though, is this is the kind of guy, though, who says, and so you know what?
I used to wear my seatbelt, but not anymore.
Now I don't wear my seatbelt because I don't think COVID's real.
They pushed me too far.
I don't know what to do with the accent.
When I get in an accent, I don't know what to do, but I'm not going to get COVID, I'll tell you that much.
Yeah, maybe Ron Paul was right, you know?
God, what else has he been right about?
Oh, wow.
Who got to open that case back up then?
The mom Paul files.
So also this is again before like people started pretending that Joe Biden was going to take stoves.
This is like before it entered the normie conservative sphere.
Yeah, people on Donald Patriots dot win are still just reacting to like the I think it was the World Health Organization who was like, it's actually kind of dangerous to have gas stoves.
Truglo says, it's funny how no one touts the deaths caused by cell phone usage while driving.
And then Truthy Brat replies, how much ad revenue do these quote journalists get from cellular companies again?
Yeah.
You gotta follow the money, which is the AT&T ads, and that's why journalists aren't calling for bans of driving while operating a cell phone.
Next thing you know, Tony, they're gonna start making it illegal to use a cell phone while you're driving.
Just wait.
I fucking bet you.
Any day now, any day now, they're gonna get rid of that.
You know what they're gonna start doing?
They're gonna start making cars so that they actually integrate with your phone.
It's not even going to be an afterthought.
They're just going to build it into it.
It's going to be awful.
You're trying to tell me what they're going to ban and you don't even know what they've already banned.
I'm sorry, you're not a good source for this conspiratorial information.
I'd watch that movie, though, where it's like, you know, somebody, like, their kid gets run over by someone texting, and they're also a journalist, and they're trying to write that article about how bad it is, but then, like, Cricket Wireless is, like, tormenting them, and they're like, you better disappear, or you better make this article disappear, or else you're gonna disappear.
They can't know about the dangers.
But also, those are some of the best commercials ever.
Are the texting and driving commercials.
Oh yeah, the ones that use like real people.
Like I killed my best friend by texting LOL at her.
Yeah, and not so funny.
Is what they would say at the end of the commercial.
Turns out it wasn't so funny.
Yeah, turns out LOL stands for loss of life on the roads.
Damn, damn.
Are your kids texting about texting and driving?
Uh, Big Iron Big Iron says, full electric equals full control.
Fuuuuu- Which, I, I, like, my gas- I don't own my gas line.
I don't know what you're talking- I have, I have a gas line in my home.
I don't, I don't get to fucking control it.
I'm pretty sure there's still a utility attached to the gas line, man.
Killary4Prison replies, what makes you say that?
Aren't there natural gas, diesel, propane, gasoline, solar battery generators available?
If anything, a full electric house gives you the ability to run its stove on many different types of fuel, while a gas stovetop is limited to the grid's natural gas.
And then RPOZ28 says, I think he's implying that if electric becomes our only source of energy, the feds will have complete control over us.
So did you read the comment you're replying to?
Yeah.
Cause I don't think you did.
Yeah.
Cause like, yeah, that's the whole, like you said, that's the whole thing.
If you have, if you have, you know, a generator or one of these amazing power stations that exist now, you could totally get off of the, you can survive.
But yeah, if my gas goes out, my gas goes out, I'm fucked.
Also like, Okay, the power goes out and you really need to cook food.
You only have, like, raw food that needs to be cooked or whatever.
Fucking, like, build a fire in your backyard, you fucking prepper, fake prepper asshole.
Like, pull out a $20 barbecue grill and put some fucking charcoal in it, dude.
I don't know.
Like, I don't know what to tell you, man.
A lot of people are like, what happens when it gets cold?
What happens when the power goes out and it gets cold?
Fire, dude.
Use fire.
Nope, then you gotta cuddle.
That's true.
You gotta cuddle for survival.
I do hope there's someone in there who's like, I've been only cooking on live fire in my backyard the whole time anyways.
I only cook on coal, baby.
Well, remember?
Only wood.
There was that one post that we talked about where it was like, Yeah, it was like the the most masculine thing you could he like what he like built an open flame in his kitchen or something like oh, no, no, it was but it was Joe Rogan Was talking about how cooking over a fire like it really like reunited him with his manhood Yeah, I like woke up something a prehistoric in him It's like you know all the comes like you mean you mean cooking.
Yeah, you just mean cooking and But also like you're worried about the grid you're worried about the elites like turning off the grid or whatever which We'll get into more of that in these in these replies but You know what you can do if you don't want to worry about the grid is you can go out and buy some solar panels, dude You can go out and buy some solar panels and store your own electricity.
Holy shit, man Is there a way I could do that?
That's like not gay?
No, unfortunately not Ah, shit.
Is there a way I can do that?
As long as you just roll coal enough to offset the solar part, I think you're fine.
No, but still, when you pick up those solar panels, you know what's on them?
A bright, shiny, reflective surface.
And when you look in there, you look in that reflective surface, it's gay.
You're gonna see gay.
You're going to see gay.
Yeah, for sure.
There's going to be almost like a rainbow-like sheen off of some of the solar panels.
This is how they're coated in that stuff.
And that rainbow is God's promise that you're gay.
I saw someone with a big rolling coal truck the other day.
And then I looked at the stickers on the back of the car, and they were all like they were all about, like, black liberation.
And I was like, I need to follow this person.
I need to see what their deal is.
I need I don't I we got to connect.
I am so curious.
They had one of the big fake stacks.
Wow.
One of the big fake.
But then it was still rolling.
It was still blowing black smoke out of the back of the truck.
But yeah, it was like it was like it was talking about, you know, one of the stickers was like Black and proud rifle owner.
And one just said, black liberation.
And I was like, who are you?
Are you sure they weren't saying, like, black smoke matters?
I thought so.
I thought maybe that's what they were saying, but there was like, there was a fist and everything.
Like, it was, it was, yeah.
I was like, what?
Okay.
Okay, cool.
I wouldn't be surprised.
You know what?
Oh, go ahead.
I looked at the person in the car and actually, man, I said, I told you we're not a monolith.
I wouldn't be surprised if, like, some people took that, like, oh, black rifles matter, or black coffee matters, or whatever.
I wouldn't be surprised if some people took that to, like, the farthest extent possible.
Like, they put a fake Afro on their gun, and then also had the gun raising, like, a black power fist.
Put, like, a dashiki on the black rifle.
That would be really triggering.
If somebody did that, I know I would be triggered by it.
They're like, take this gun, you can't, because I'd make you a racist.
Yeah.
Uh, Wolf Settler says, So that means all these, quote, clean air technology buses have been lying to us all these years, right?
The government has been poisoning us while lying to us.
Sue them.
Um, and I would say, Yes, the idea of clean natural gas is a lie.
That is not accurate.
Talk to the people dealing with fucking wastewater right now.
Talk to those people.
Yeah, it's the same thing as clean coal.
It's not clean, it's just cleaner than gas than, you know, actual fossil, you know, liquid fossil fuel or whatever.
And it's just like, yeah, I'm sorry.
There's like, there's different ways of lying to you.
There's not just the one way where people say the exact opposite of what they mean.
There's like shades of truth and there's degrees of lying and there's lying for specific purposes.
And I'm sorry we have to explain this to you as an adult.
And this is exactly why like media literacy classes are so important.
They need to understand exactly that, because yeah, and also the technology that is going in that bus is not going in your stove and it's a different type of it's everything you can't.
Because it's like you're right, but you're not right in the way you think you are.
Well, it's also... You're so close.
A bus is outdoors.
Yeah.
A bus is outside, so... The stove warning is not for your outdoor stove that's moving around a city.
Like, it's for the stove that's in your 10x10 apartment kitchen, dude.
Yeah.
Dummy.
Uh, okay, Evil Guy here.
Finally some sense in Patriots.win.
Evil Guy, ironically.
I think this guy's pretty good.
Says, unpopular opinion around here, I am sure, but I really like my induction stove.
Oh, oh boy.
I don't think I would go back to gas.
Shit is fast as fuck to boil water or whatever, plus it doesn't get very hot on top and it's way easier to keep clean since it's just a flat surface.
Absolutely.
We have an electric stove here and it's much nicer to clean.
You just wipe that shit down.
Gas feels manlier, I guess, but I'm not really a fan now.
I love that, like, half-hearted, like, you're in the manosphere.
You're in the reactionary, like, anti-woman space.
So you have to give some sort of lip service to it, but you're just like, I guess it feels manlier, right?
But I don't really care.
I am trying to think of a benefit, but I can't think of any.
I guess the stoves are cheaper.
Yeah, and you know, I gotta say, before anyone brings this up, I just recently, not too long ago, posted about my love for gas stoves and open flames.
And the truth of that is, is because I've never cooked on a good induction stove.
I've only cooked on those old coil electric stoves.
And I think that, yeah, from what I'm seeing now, Some of my favorite cooks, when I watch their tours of their houses, they're using induction stoves.
And some of them are also pretty masculine.
So I'm going to have to roll back on that.
These induction stoves are... Go ahead.
Let's get things together.
Let's like really get all your friends out of the Patreon so that one day I can also have an induction stove and I can, you know, get rid of this performative gas stove.
Let's make that a goal.
Yeah, these induction stoves are great.
They cook really well.
They cook your cricket burger in like two minutes.
You can whip up some soy riso just like that.
They're so good for anything you could possibly need.
Even if you're just, yeah, just rehydrating your cricket burger.
And that's really what you, I'm sure it does that pretty well.
Good to know.
The gas stove, the only thing that I miss a gas stove for is cooking tortillas.
Like, you can cook a tortilla on a gas, like a actual flame.
I love that.
But we just, I cook it on a flat pan now.
It's still fine.
It's still good.
Yeah.
Damn.
Okay.
All right.
Have you tried putting the tortilla directly on?
Well, no, because that's not how induction works.
I don't have an induction.
I just have an electric stove.
Oh, okay.
It just heats up the element or whatever, the surface.
He goes on to say what pans you can actually use with it.
The only thing that doesn't work with an induction stove is aluminum, which I would never use because I worry it gives people Alzheimer's.
Yeah, so I don't think citing other medical studies about aluminum pans giving you Alzheimer's is maybe the best way to go.
I don't think that's maybe the best way to go with this crowd.
It's funny because there's plenty of reasons not to like aluminum pans.
They don't conduct heat as consistently.
They're light, but they don't hold heat very well.
Yeah, there's a bunch of reasons not to like them.
I've never heard that one.
That sounds right to me.
I mean, I smoked weed out of a can when I was young, and I have Alzheimer's now, probably.
Yeah.
Oh, for sure.
For sure.
You also, because you were inhaling that Coke can paint, too.
Dude, I smoked- Maybe he's talking about non-stick pans.
I was such a stupid little- I smoked weed out of a fucking plastic bottle before, dude.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Like burn the surface of the plastic bottle.
Inhaling those fumes?
Yeah.
And you're like, I got a cough to get off, but it's really just pure toxins.
Yeah, it's good stuff.
All right, so that was the precursor to the gas stove hysteria that is still currently gripping my Facebook feed and Twitter.
I'm going to start at just the most basic level of reaction to this, which is people just running their gas stoves in their apartment without cooking anything because they think Joe Biden is going to steal their stoves.
They think Joe Biden is going to ban gas stoves.
So everywhere, just the brightest minds of the right wing were posting things like, Cat Turd here, Elon Musk super fan, Cat Turd on Twitter, who says, Dear Liberals... I turned on all my gas stove eyes today and let them burn for no reason.
And there's absolutely nothing you can do about it but cry.
What do you, like, like, what do you say to this, dude?
How do you even respond to this?
Like, dear liberals, I gave myself... I'd be like, hey, I don't know if you knew this, Cat Turd, but you actually can, um, you can actually let out twice as much gas twice as fast if the flame's not on.
Yeah, if you don't even burn it.
Just, just let the gas go.
Just let the gas go.
Um, yeah, I think that's the way to go for it.
And then, you know what would really stick it to them?
Smoke inside the house.
You know?
Go ahead and just go and light up a cigarette.
They hate cigarettes.
Light up a flavored cigarette.
Flavored nicotine in that house.
Go for it.
Yeah, it's two great tastes that taste great together.
A home full of gas and a lit cigarette.
Mmm, menthol.
Um, everybody was doing this bit across America.
So many people started burning, burning their gas.
Like, I don't know, man.
How do you, how do you think that you're not the sheeple?
How do you think that you're not the sheeple when you're fucking lighting your burners inside your house to virtue signal that you, you, you don't like Joe Biden?
Do they think that they're going to say, hey, gas company, I did this for a reason and I don't actually want to pay for this stuff.
You know, what is the plan here?
I need to see these bills.
They're going to post the bills.
They're going to be like, fuck you, Joe Biden.
You don't think I can spend $1,200 on gas this month?
Well, I did.
I mean, this is just another one of, like, the self-dis- Like, they think they're owning liberals by doing things that are gonna drastically shorten their lives?
You know?
Like, nobody's saying you shouldn't have a gas stove because it's bad for other people.
They're saying it's bad for you.
It's just bad for you!
Look, liberals, I gave myself adult-onset asthma or whatever to own you.
And guess what?
If they don't like you to begin with, I don't think they're going to have a problem with you running your stove in your closed apartment or house.
You're just mad because they're going to die young and beautiful.
You're gonna have to live to be old.
So many people were crying about Cat Turd running his stove in his house.
Man, just liberal tears left and right.
At least that's what my vision is telling me.
There's like a haze in front of my eyes.
It kind of makes everything look watery.
I bet it's all the liberal tears.
I'm pretty sure it's just been a ghost who's close enough to my face I can't see things clearly through them.
It's just a ghost filter I have.
I have to live with it now.
It's kind of like my little demon.
And that's why it's hard to breathe because the ghost is also covering up my airways.
Yeah.
Uh, so, I found this person on Facebook.
Instant follow from me, by the way.
This is Peggy Hubbard on Facebook.
Oh, fuck yeah!
Uh, who's... I mean, I'm assuming this is her actual stove.
Uh, eight burners on this bad boy, going at full blast.
That's thick-ass range.
She says, I take maintenance of my gas stove serious- This is, like, captioned over the image.
I take maintenance of my gas stove seriously.
That's why my Betty Crocker cookbook was locked up in my garage next to my Harley.
Do you know what this is a reference to?
What?
My Betty Crocker cookbook?
Yeah, locked up in her garage next to her Harley.
No, I don't!
Because the thing is, with this kind of gas range, this is the kind that does require some sort of maintenance.
And to be honest, I don't think this is even the ones they're talking about.
Because I don't think any leaks are getting through this bad boy.
I don't think they're even talking about this kind.
But yeah, what the fuck?
What do you mean your Betty Crocker cookbook?
Yeah, well, so the maintenance thing doesn't make sense at all.
That part, there's no making sense of it.
Thinking that a Betty Crocker cookbook is how you maintain your stove?
That's just bad writing.
But the fact that the Betty Crocker cookbook is locked up in the garage?
That's the point of the joke.
That's the real point.
Because they're referencing Joe Biden's classified documents that were locked up in his garage.
And this motherfucker said, oh, they were secure.
They were locked up in my garage next to my Corvette.
And so she's proving, hey, I also keep my stove safe by locking up my Betty Crocker cookbook in the garage.
Remember that word garage?
We all know because Biden said it.
That's the punchline of the familiar, the good old word garage.
I don't know if you're familiar with who's on Facebook, Tony, but a lot of them are relics themselves.
Again, that's a relic.
No one's using the Betty Clark book anymore.
Well, I don't know if you're familiar with who's on Facebook, Tony, but a lot of them are relics themselves.
Yeah, true.
That's like the barefoot Contessa, maybe you could say that.
Like, basically, if I know a cooking reference, that would be the cooking reference that they would use.
You couldn't use like a modern hip cooking reference.
Which is, I mean, I just don't, still, I just, I think there was Rachel Ray.
That's the one.
That's the one I was trying to think of, yeah.
I don't, the Betty Crocker cookbook.
Okay, go off.
Yeah, so Peggy Hubbard, though.
Her profile pic is her with diamond and silk.
Goddamn.
She's got 348,000 followers on Facebook.
I had never heard of Peggy Hubbard.
She looks to be like a 60-year-old black woman.
Here she is posing with diamond and silk.
She's doing it.
In her cover photo, she's on a Harley with a shirt that says LGBT, and it's Liberty, Guns, Bible, and Trump.
Fuck.
And then the page information says...
She's a public figure, and this is Peggy Hubbard for U.S.
Senate is responsible for this page.
So this is like her quote, political page, her political candidacy page.
And I had to look up, I was like, is she still running?
Did she win?
Did she lose?
What happened?
So she ran in the Republican primary for Senate for Illinois last year.
And she lost the primary, she came in second, In the Republican primary, but she lost and then the actual Republican winner went on to lose in the Senate.
But if you look at her information, I'm reading here from Chicago News.
Well, okay, so her own bio says Peggy Hubbard is the Washington elite's worst nightmare.
But then you go to Chicago News WTTN's description of her.
Peggy Hubbard, occupation, retired IRS analyst, former military and law enforcement.
The elites do not want you to know about this subversive woman who was an IRS agent, a member of the fucking military, and a cop.
Just the most outsider, salt of the earth, kind of regular Joe you could think of.
Yet rogue, like regular Joe, but like a rogue Joe.
You know, like very, what's the word they used to use?
Maverick.
For someone who was like a maverick.
So at first I was kind of like, I was mad as I always am when I saw that range, that, that eight burner gas range.
And I'm like, this motherfucker has money.
And then I saw that she's like one of these, these like, you know, self-hating black grifters.
And I'm like, God damn it.
Like I, You're getting that money.
You're getting that money.
And then I realize, oh, you're not even probably that successful in that.
You have money because you worked for the IRS and the military and you're a police officer or something like that.
Like, that's why you have money.
Like, fuck, I hate you, Peggy Hubbard.
I love that she ran for the Republican primary as a former IRS agent.
I mean, I guess you could be like, well, they tried to give me a gun and gave me a list of addresses to go take some back taxes out, and that's when I quit.
That's when I stopped being, and I laid down my service weapon and I said, no more.
No, then you pull out a gun and you say, but I kept the gun, baby.
And you let a couple rounds off.
Because they didn't give you a gun, so you can just say it.
Yeah, can you do that?
Can you say I was one of the good ones?
Hey, listen, not all IRS agents, alright?
Yeah, don't worry.
I only went after sex workers.
Yeah, totally.
Susan on this post, on Peggy Hubbard's Facebook post, says, Girl, you have a stove!
Look at all those burners.
You'll be all cozy and warm up in your house if they ever choose to turn off the electricity.
Because we all can know that is their END GAME!
Yep, there it is.
We all know that's their endgame, is to turn off your electricity.
Why?
Why is that the endgame?
That's like the conspiracy theory that's underlying all of this, is that they want you on an electric stove so they can turn off your stove if you've been a bad boy.
Yeah, they only want you on an electric stove so you can be on a smart stove.
They can monitor what you're cooking, and they can see that you're eating a lot of soy, and they can see that you're in a weak state, and they can attack you at that moment.
Yeah.
But what's funny is, like, there's a whole swath of Republicans and right-wing conservatives who do feel this way, but also are not afraid of it because they've bought generators.
Like, they are being proactive about it.
Like, I don't know.
I think that's... If you're that worried about it, then, like, The stove keeping you cozy is not gonna be a factor here.
Well, they're also not worried about it because they sold off the electrical grid to their friend's companies, their friend's private companies.
That's the downside of us going full electric or whatever, is that the grid can't support it.
They do have that right.
California wants to go full electrical, And all that, and it's like, you gotta do some fucking infrastructure first.
You actually have to build something up to support all of this.
And I mean, in Texas, yeah, I can understand why people from Texas might be a little worried to have another electrical device on a grid that will just fail every year going forward, most likely.
Annually.
You can look forward to it like you can look forward to a woke M&M package.
Yeah, I'm just gonna read all these little responses on Peggy Hubbard's post because this is like who's following Peggy Hubbard.
Kathleen says, I just love your sense of humor.
Heart, heart, thumbs up.
Polly says, good one.
I love hearing from you.
Heart, heart.
Trudy Hennessy, tell me about it, LOL.
Paula says, Peggy, you're the best.
A shining star explosion emoji in this dark world.
Beverly says, we could be great friends.
Bob says, good one Peggy.
Like that's all they're doing.
They're not like adding anything to the conversation or responding to each other.
They're just like, I love you Peggy.
Will you be my friend?
Sorry you don't know what it's like to have people riding for you that hard, you know?
Sorry people aren't, you know, just saying, I want to be, we can be great friends.
I love it because you're doing like the bot Facebook account who replies to every 50 year old man's comment.
Wow, you are so handsome.
Please be my friend.
Check your inbox.
They're doing that, but for real to the person who's posting the meme.
And because they think that is how you're supposed to talk on here.
Yeah.
Like they're supposed to say that.
Did you see the next thing?
Is that what you're laughing at?
Yeah.
A lot of people like this one.
This is from the Insolent Libertarian, a meme page.
It's so funny.
It's, uh, it's, so yeah, a gas range in a home, uh, and photoshopped onto it are a bunch of miniature AOCs.
A bunch of little AOCs from when she's, uh, crying outside of the immigrant detainment center, which is, uh, the meme, the meme they love.
This is like, this is like their favorite reaction meme is like, You know, oh, I'm eating a bag of the original M&Ms that's got fucking men M&Ms on it.
What do you think about that?
And it's AOC crying.
That's what she thinks.
Yeah, crying.
I just like that they think that because I think they understand that everything you do is political, you know, and in some ways leaving your gas burner, you know, going is is like.
Tightening up immigration policies.
Uh, I, this is like incomprehensible to me.
It's, it's a bunch of AOCs.
So it's like five AOCs, the same AOC just posed all over the sea of it.
I'm like, they're mirrored.
There's like, there's some that are mirrored.
There's a range.
They're different sizes.
And they're not even like on the burners.
They're like in, they're just inside.
They're in the burner.
They're like underneath the grill top.
They're like standing in it.
And it's photoshopped, like there's effort put into this.
They had to put the grill, the griddle in front of the leg.
Also, you know, behind the leg.
This is great.
Yeah, AOC is so upset when you leave your gas running.
She's crying.
Do you think they did one with the burners on, but then it looked like you were setting it on fire and that was too much?
No, I think there's probably every comment in here is calling for that to happen.
Yeah.
Yeah man, I don't like... I'm surprised... I'm actually surprised I didn't see any Holocaust memes with the gas stove.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's actually, I'm actually shocked.
Well, I don't know.
Like I could see... Hopefully, yeah, hopefully...
I can see edgy guys making the, oh, we prefer gas over here, but you're not gassing a Jewish person, you're gassing AOC, who's crying.
So then me, as like a 55-year-old suburban white guy, I'm like, this is the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen.
And then you share it, and then people are like, this is like kind of a Holocaust joke.
This is like obviously made by Nazi, like made by anti-Semites.
And then me, as getting this information, I'm like, well, I guess I'm a Nazi now because you criticized the meme I shared.
Where did you say it was from?
I'm gonna go there now.
Yeah.
Well, I guess me wanting to say AOC, if that makes me a Nazi, then guess so.
Yeah.
Hey, you know what I just lit this little piece of a joint with?
Oh, shit.
What?
What is that?
Uh, an induction lighter.
Just kidding.
Oh, wow.
Just kidding.
Just kidding, psych.
You thought?
I did see, I did see an earnest, um, quite cold dead hands, um, stove post, which is like wild.
Yeah, Ron DeSantis did it.
Ron DeSantis did a don't tread on me flag, but it's got an oven.
Cool.
That's so based, dude.
Wow.
You love your oven, man.
That's cool.
Destiny, in response to the insolent libertarian, says, there has got to come a time when we stop complying!
Like, nothing happened, Destiny.
What are you complying with?
Everybody is laughing about how they don't have to give up their gas stove.
Everybody intuitively knows that nothing's gonna happen to your gas stove because they're fucking turning it on and off for fun and videotaping it.
You know what I mean?
And because they've all told themselves that there is something that's going to happen to their gas stove, they get to participate in this act of rebellion.
Well, you know, maybe Destiny's being honest here.
And Destiny has been complying the whole time.
So Destiny has been the Lib-like the whole time.
But now Destiny's been wearing a mask the whole time.
You know, Destiny's been doing the whole thing.
Destiny's boosted up.
But this was the final straw.
Yeah.
And this is Destiny coming to a safe space to say, when has got to come the time we stop complying?
We got to do it now.
I wore the plastic bag over my head when I went into stores, like the memes told me to do.
I gave up all my genders.
I gave up my pronouns.
They said I had to give up my pronouns, so I did that.
I've been eating crickets off the street because I'm so hungry.
I gave up meat.
I gave up meat back when we passed the Green New Deal two years ago.
Remember how we all, remember we passed that?
I gave that up.
When are we going to come to our senses here, folks?
All I have now is heating tortillas on my open flame stove.
That's all I have now.
Are you going to take that away from me?
There's got to come a time.
What else am I going to put my crickets inside of?
When we stop complying.
This is all conservative grievances based on what was the last thing that got outlawed?
Like menthol cigarettes?
Or no, the Juul vapes, right?
Those are the flavors.
That was the same thing.
It was the same time.
It was the same law.
Like California, at least.
Okay, yeah, but not like national band.
Like, I don't know.
I don't know what you think is happening, but it kind of goes into the next slide I have here.
Oh no, that's...
Okay, we'll go back on complying.
Okay, if you thought running the fucking... What, are you gonna say something, Tony?
Well, remember the last thing they banned was freedom.
Remember?
They took that away.
Oh, okay.
Well, then we're fucked now.
I mean, everything else is just window dressing now.
Okay.
If you thought running your oven to own the libs, running your gas stovetop to own the libs was bad, this is the...
The peak escalation I saw in conservatives reacting to the idea that they're going to ban gas stoves.
A man putting his gun, putting his rifle, laying his rifle across four stovetop burners that are lit.
That are running.
This is terrifying.
There's a clip in there.
There's a magazine in there.
I wonder if it's loaded.
I wonder if the magazine is loaded.
I hope not.
I hope not.
This is so... Why would you do this?
Like... Is this a...
This has like a coating on it.
It's like painted or something.
And the thing is like it's going this is going to do some damage for you to leave the gun on top of it long enough with the burners are on pretty high.
Yeah.
And take a picture.
There's no way to do this without doing some sort of damage to your gun.
This is just worth it.
I mean, is freedom worth it, Tony?
Those who would those who would not sacrifice drippings from their gun in order to preserve freedom do not deserve it.
True.
You know what?
This is too good.
I'm gonna hope this is someone who's funny.
This is someone who's funny that has an extra gun.
There you go.
I mean, regardless of the intent, the right people liked it.
The right people liked it.
The right people loved this because this was originally posted on an Instagram page called Cursed Weapons, I believe, and then everybody else on the right was just sharing it like it was their own image, like Kyle here, who shares it into the Sounds Like Something The ATF Would Say, so like an epic anti-ATF, you know, like,
The people who make the memes where it's like, oh, when the ATF agents come in through your door and all of a sudden they hear Fortunate Son playing over the loudspeaker and see me jump out of the shadows totally naked.
Wow, I bet they're questioning their decisions right about now.
Yeah.
That's who, uh, that's who likes this meme about laying your rifle across your lit range.
Like, you didn't have to, you didn't have to do that, man.
Like, you could have said, look, I have both.
Look at this.
There's, they're both.
I don't really need to burn one of them to prove that I have, uh, both of them.
But yeah, this got shared into this group.
500 likes, 101 shares.
likes 101 shares and then Mark Mark posted hey somebody stole you stole my idea cuz Mark Hayden shares a screen grab of his own post which is also four lit burners and two rifles that are at least they're stood up and not on top of the range
They're like stood up on the backsplash to the range where there's like an inch between the back burner and the wall.
Yeah.
The the stock of the gun, the holster, the shoulder stock is like stuffed in between that little gap and standing straight up.
So still a very dangerous way to store your weapon.
But and then it says become ungovernable and like the Snapchat overlay font.
Well, this one has visible plastics and rubbers on it.
So you definitely, both guns have visible plastic and rubbers on it.
You don't want to put this on the, on the old stove.
But I do, I do like this one doesn't have, there's no magazines in there.
That's, that's good at least.
But yeah.
So stupid.
So stupid.
Yeah.
Mark says.
Still not smart.
Yeah.
Mark said, Hey, this was my idea and shared the photo.
Uh, somebody said, oh, I also saw this photo at a different spot.
Your meme got stolen, dude.
And Mark says, oh no, not again, crying laughing face.
I'm just glad some people found it funny to replicate.
We all need more to laugh at these days.
You know, hell yeah.
Hell yeah, Mark.
You keep that energy, bro.
Thank you, Mark.
That was biting my shit.
Yeah, for real, thank you.
We do all need stuff to laugh at these days.
I think you've got a career as a pretty funny comedian.
You should continue posing your guns around the house in comical fashions for us to enjoy.
Yeah, yeah.
I think it would have been way sicker if somebody would have just done a video of them turning the gas on instead of using the pilot shooting at the stovetop to light the burner.
That would have been way cooler.
Totally.
I mean, it would take some skill as well.
So people would know you were skilled.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I would definitely do a spin, a spinny thing.
So lots of lots of pronoun jokes when it comes to gas stoves.
My, you know, my gas stove now identifies as electric.
Ha ha.
Take that, Joe Biden, who's definitely like a gender warrior for sure.
Yeah.
The best one that I saw, though, was James, who says my gas stove and oven now uses the pronouns of cook and bake.
Sure.
What?
So did it not... Are you saying that you're now going to use your Stove and Oven?
Stove and Oven?
You weren't using it before but now you're going to use it to own the libs?
You're going to learn how to cook and bake?
Yeah, I don't, it's very funny.
I mean, cook and bake, you know, again, not what a pronoun is.
Those are not the same parts of speech.
But I think both electric and gas stoves can cook and bake.
Like, I don't know.
It's good.
You're not tricking, you're not skirting the law here.
You're still gonna be, you're still gas baking and gas cooking.
Man, those jokes were fucking worse.
Oh, damn, they got us.
Because we, see, well, the Orwellian Biden administration, they're trying to change what you call doing with a gas stove.
So when you thought you were cooking with a gas stove, it turns out you're marginalizing now.
Now you're marginalizing.
It's not cooking anymore, citizen.
You're marginalizing that steak by using a gas stove.
And he's like, oh, but I got this.
Actually, my marginalizationer identifies as a cooker.
And Biden's like, what?
It's the Yu-Gi-Oh meme.
No!
Yeah.
He's like, scrap all the laws we were going to do to support trans people.
Scrap all those now.
We've been owned.
I was going to do a bunch of cool stuff, but not anymore.
Yeah.
I had to explain to some normal person the other day, who's a genuinely good person, why her meme of I identify as pissed and off.
I'm like, hey, this joke sucks, just so you know.
And they're like, oh, oh, yeah, I guess it does, huh?
Yeah.
And I was like, Like normal people, they don't even get that those are not good ones.
So when these people do it, they do a little extra sauce on it and it's really, it's even extra stupid.
But I think you should have told your friend, hey, it's not good to do because it's really fucking unfunny.
It's like, it's like, it's like a really stupid, like the joke of a stupid person is what this is.
Well, this person, this person's not, They know that.
They're not funny.
We don't have the same sense of humor.
Oh, okay.
I think they just got like an epic Fire 13 tattoo yesterday that was like a piece of cheese or something.
Oh, okay.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So yeah.
So the last meme from this, which I think is just so great, it's the Lisa Simpson meme where she's giving an angry presentation to an audience, you know, schooling them about the truth.
You know how Lisa was anti-woke?
Lisa was She was trying to escape the Matrix.
Remember that?
Lisa, the presentation on the projector screen behind her says, The gas stove ban was to keep Biden's mishandling classified docs out of the news.
You're like, whoa, that's fucking crazy because yeah, like the media has been doing nonstop reporting on this gas stove thing, by which I mean all my dumbest friends from high school and every one of their favorite YouTubers
uh have been talking about this gas stove ban to distract us from by that's why Joe Biden has been posting and and uh Ben Shapino has been posting and Tim Poole has been posting about the gas stove ban is because they wanted to distract you from Biden's mishandling classified docs.
Were there any actual like news sources or like legislative stuff that used the words ban at all?
Yeah I think one of like I'm just saying this from memory, but there's like a six-person health council that reports to the president, gives advice to the president on how to respond to health concerns.
And because of this new study that came out showing that gas stoves could be dangerous, and again, I don't really think they're that dangerous, I just think it's like over a long term, and you know, with enough people, yeah, it's like adverse health effects, just like almost everything we fucking consume, so.
They said something like banning would be one of the options, banning the production of new stoves would be one option, which is like California, And other states have passed legislation saying that new homes built can't have gas stoves in them.
So if you're in one of those states, there's like some truth to this idea of trying to phase out gas stoves, which is probably a good idea.
Like, I don't know, it's probably smart to do, but nowhere are they seizing gas stoves from people.
Well, I mean, it's also that thing, too, where they're just not... This is where they kind of need some class conscience, because they don't really understand.
If there were to be some law out there to ban gas stoves and obligate people to have electric stoves, landlords would be impacted by that a great deal.
Sure.
And so they're not going to let that happen.
Like you, you just have you just own your one house, so you don't even thinking about it.
But, you know, you're ask your friends who own property.
They know they're going to let this happen.
There's no way.
Well, I'm surprised they didn't take run with that for their outrage on the fake ban.
Like me as a landlord, I'm going to have to replace five stoves and all of my units or whatever.
I'm surprised they didn't like add that to the list of complaints.
And then not make the connection that, no, this isn't happening because people like you are the most catered to people in the fucking country.
Exactly.
And that's exactly why I think you didn't see it, because they actually had to get to work.
They couldn't post on Facebook about it.
They actually had to write their friends.
Hey, this isn't going to really happen, right?
We can't really...
Yeah, but I love this take.
Oh, you know what?
The gas stove ban was actually just a distraction.
It's like, yeah, we know.
Yeah.
We know you guys did this to distract yourselves from having to care about anything that's real.
You did this to distract yourself for like five minutes from cheering on a homeless woman being sprayed with a hose in the winter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You like made up some sort of persecution against yourself so you could feel better about cheering on the persecution of everybody else.
Yeah, exactly.
You found you found a reason that you're you found something you're kind of being marginalized by.
Yeah, you you had but you had to make it up, of course.
And again, like the news has absolutely been reporting on Biden's, quote, mishandling of classified documents.
There's been stories on CNN, ABC, MSNBC, like take your fucking pick.
That was the news cycle for like two days.
The only people talking about the quote stove ban was you and all your friends on social media.
You and all your both, your real friends and your parasocial friends like Jordan Peterson.
Yeah, it's not real.
It's that thing.
It's like, hey, is the gas stove ban in the room with us right now?
Yeah.
Yeah, all right.
Well, that's the episode.
I hope you guys stay warm out there by lighting your gas stoves, heating your house that way.
That's what the government, they don't want you to be able to heat your house by running the four burners on the stovetop.
You know what you should do to really stick it to him?
You should go buy a bag of the all-dude M&Ms and make some M&M cookies.
Instead of chocolate chips, use M&Ms.
Actually, I don't suggest that at all.
I don't think it's good.
Something happens when you heat up that shell.
It doesn't taste right.
Oh, something happens to it.
Oh, wow.
Sounds like I just need to cook it even fucking harder now, bro.
Yeah.
But just to stick it to him, do the M&M cookies tonight.
Yeah.
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