This week, Disney exchanges the Song of the South references in Splash Mountain for a scene with their only Black Princess, a right wing tik tokfluencer does a snarky clapback, and we come up with some of our own replacement ideas Also, LIFE has been CANCELLED thanks to a woke update on the classic board game. A facebook mom has all the details. Support the show for $5/month and get weekly bonus episodes of Minion Death Cult as well as our brand new weekly live show: DEATH CHAT 500 (also available in podcast form). That's TWO bonus episodes a week. Also get access to our entire back catalogue including BUTT FEST 2000; live-reads of My Antifa Lover, Rodham, and Ladies First: A MAGA Hat Romance; movie episodes like Believe, To Die For, and Loqueesha; and hundreds more. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult
In the old game of life, everyone married and most had kids.
As that was something that just happened after you married.
This was exactly like real life.
You could build a great life in multiple ways because marrying and children were legitimate ways to invest in the future.
Just like the more financial.
Just like the show, Married with Children.
Yeah.
Just like the more financial options, such as buying a house or choosing a career.
They don't want you to do this anymore.
Millennials, they hate buying a house.
And they hate choosing a career that they could have.
I mean, if they liked it, they'd do it more, right?
Yeah.
Family was wealth, not liability.
And it was just fun seeing what kind of family you ended up with.
The new game sends a very different message.
If you want to win this dystopian game of life, it's best to avoid marriage and children as they cost you and slow you down.
You definitely can't have a lot of kids.
That's not even an option.
There's no reason marriage and children have any... You know, you can still have a lot of kids in real life.
Well, some people can, Lindsey.
I think those days are behind you, but that's still possible.
People can still do that if they want to.
Yeah.
It's like, also, you're still, like, missing the actual problem here.
Like, the thing is, is the reason why these things are all, like, hurdles is because of the system we live in.
Like, the reason why, like, you know, what if in the game of life you get, this is dark but it's real, you get one kid.
That kid has juvenile cancer.
You don't have, you're a stay-at-home parent who like, and your husband's like a pastor, you don't have real insurance.
Like, you're fucked.
That's a real thing, and it's like, the problem is not the wokeism, the problem is the system in which it exists.
And you're missing that completely, Lindsey.
Totally.
This is another prime example of A, conservatives complaining about something that's not a problem, but B, it's instead of Reacting to the reason people's lives are different now.
Because the world has been changing.
Some things for the better, other things for the worse.
Such as the financial stability that is required for people to want to get married.
The idea of even having a career.
Of having a steady career in a field you want.
You're just gonna get automated probably in a couple years anyway.
Rather than being upset at these actual material conditions that are changing, you're getting upset that the fake game is losing the thing that we already lost in real life.
Everything that the game is losing is only losing it because we lost it in real life already, and you're fine with that.
It's when your little fantasy of the game changes, that's when you get upset.
It only took, like, 50 some odd years for the game to kind of catch up.
Yeah, it's, I... It's just, this isn't, like, you don't, like, we don't live in the same world, you know?
And that's fine.
What we find out is this isn't even the official new game of life.
This is a different game called...
Your life, your way.
This is the game of life.
Your life, your way.
It's a different game.
Imagine that.
Amazing.
Imagine a game company made another game.
I wish, I wish the Game of Life, like, what happened is you, like, started by drawing a character and the character had, like, both, like, your, you know, how you identify and your cultural background and how that actually affects your income with, like, actual data.
And we start with that.
That'd be amazing.
Sure.
That'd be amazing.
Yeah, that'd be pretty funny.
People just flipping the board because they pick a black trans woman.
They're just like, what's the point?
Flip, flipping the board.
Yep.
I'm over this.
This sucks.
No, they'll flip the board because they'll be like, oh, I win because I get all the breaks in society as a black trans woman eat shit.
Yeah.
They're like, oh man, I'm a, I'm a white cis male cop.
Like, I don't want, I don't want to beat my wife.
I don't want to do that, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna.
It's not going to have any actual effect on me, but there's going to be a little heart card that I'm going to feel it on.
Yeah, I'm never even going to get off of the starting line here.
Oh, that's funny.
Okay, just a few responses that were so good on this post.
David says, This is how the programming of our young people starts.
Get them to play games and control their thinking.
In ungodly directions, of course.
I mean, yeah, that's what the original Game of Life was, bro.
Like, they didn't even acknowledge God in it, but they were doing that shit for you.
And like, look where you're at now.
Yeah, Hasbro would love it.
Hasbro would love it if this ever reached the level of being able to program children.
They would be like, holy shit, for real?
Like, I thought like a hundred people were going to buy this game.
That's it.
Like, imagine thinking, okay, well, they want to indoctrinate the children.
You know how they do it?
A modern twist on the Game of Life by Hasbro.
Every game you would lose because your character doesn't buy enough games in the process?
Support the show for only $5 a month and get instant access to this episode and hundreds of others directly in your podcast app or browser.
