José the Jalapeño gets trafficked to Martha's Vineyard (preview)
As a punishment for new Patrons we're watching Jeff Dunham's new mind-altering special: Me the People Jeff takes on Cancel Culture, the Joe Biden puppet talks about Hunter's prostitutes, a brand new millennial puppet delights the audience with jokes about participation trophies, and yes, José the Jalapeño gets trafficked to Martha's Vineyard Help us do the show for only $5/month ($3.11/month if you sign up before I wake up on Thursday) and get a bonus episode of Minion Death Cult every week as well as instant access to hundreds of previous bonus episodes. You'll also get access to our weekly livestream, DEATH CHAT 500 in both live video and recorded audio format. Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult
But today, comedians everywhere are afraid to make jokes about just about anything for fear of getting cancelled, whatever that means.
You're the one who said it!
I love the reluctant cheer, clapped-er.
This is so funny, like he's grandstanding about other comedians' grandstanding.
What I love, too, is I don't think anyone's really Because he hasn't been relevant for a long time.
I think people might have said things like, Jeff Dunham couldn't happen today.
But those people would probably like Jeff Dunham.
And I don't think anyone's, like, coming after him.
I don't think there's, like, a cancel Jeff Dunham movement.
Um, no.
It's not the, oh, Jeff Dunham couldn't be done today.
It's that one specific Jeff Dunham puppet, the black pimp character, couldn't be done today because Jeff Dunham stopped doing it.
Jeff Dunham stopped doing it like 15 years ago.
That's the funny thing, too, is that I totally forgot about this, but I love when Jeff Dunham comes up, especially where it pertains cancel culture.
Or, yeah, because his last tour was called Still Not Cancelled.
And it's like, yeah, dude, you didn't get canceled because you did the commercially savvy thing and spiked your streetwise pimp character with a gold tooth and a purple suit and a top hat who I haven't seen any of the material of.
I'm sure it's fucking wonderful.
How you doing, Sweet Daddy?
No, no, it's not Slee Daddy.
It's Slee-daddy-dee.
Well, I'm happy to call you my new manager.
I'm what you call a player in the management profession.
Right.
Pimp.
You're a pimp?
That makes you the ho.
I'm not a whore.
What do you do for a living?
Make people laugh.
Make them feel good.
Right.
You the ho.
So what ideas do you have for my career?
First thing I got to do is school you in street.
Street.
Word.
What?
Word.
What word?
What?
You said word.
Word.
What word?
Oh, snap.
What the hell?
Dog, word is like, I heard that.
Heard what?
You're not cancelled because you already cancelled... He's called, like, Sweet D. You already cancelled Sweet D. And, like, good job, Jeff.
You were, like, actually ahead of the curve on that.
That was 15 years ago.
It's really like an old yeller moment.
He was like, no, let me do it.
Took Sweet D into the backyard.
Yeah.
It is the scene where he's shooting his friend in the head because he's a traitor.
But he does know what being cancelled is like because he's actually been cancelled.
His show was cancelled.
His show didn't last more than one season.
See, he's still, like, one of the most successful comedians of all time.
He is, like, back in 2008 or 2009, these were the statistics I was reading, he was the third highest grossing comedian in the world under Jerry Seinfeld.
Yeah, because of the Jeff Dunham Show.
He was doing sold-out tours, dude.
That's merch.
He had like a merch empire as well.
He probably still does.
The merch empire run by his ex-wife, by the way, who he tried to separate from in like 2012 or somewhere around there, and she countersued him for divorce.
She was like, fuck no, we're not doing a separation.
We're doing div- if you want to go this route, I'm taking half of the em- which I don't know how much she actually got from it.
But I'm assuming she got a lot, because her bio on IMDB says, like, how much she contributed to his, uh, to his act, to his TV show, uh, to- she ran the whole, uh, website and merch.
Damn.
So, she- She's now also a professional divorce advocate.
She's a professional, like, you know how they have doulas?
She's like a divorce doula.
She, like, coaches women through their divorce.
That's how good her divorce was from Jeff Dunham.
She's like, listen, listen, we all know that men are clowns.
We all know that men think they're so funny.
And I got some experience with funny men.
Matter of fact, I had more than one.
It was more than one man.
You know, Spicy Jalapeno used to always talk back too.
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