Minion Death Cult - José the Jalapeño gets trafficked to Martha's Vineyard (preview)
Aired: 2022-12-01
Duration: 05:06


=== Cancelled ComediansRedux (03:54) ===

[00:00:03]  But today, comedians everywhere are afraid to make jokes about just about anything for fear of getting cancelled, whatever that means.
[00:00:10]  You're the one who said it!
[00:00:15]  I love the reluctant cheer, clapped-er.
[00:00:21]  This is so funny, like he's grandstanding about other comedians' grandstanding.
[00:00:30]  What I love, too, is I don't think anyone's really Because he hasn't been relevant for a long time.
[00:00:35]  I think people might have said things like, Jeff Dunham couldn't happen today.
[00:00:38]  But those people would probably like Jeff Dunham.
[00:00:42]  And I don't think anyone's, like, coming after him.
[00:00:44]  I don't think there's, like, a cancel Jeff Dunham movement.
[00:00:47]  Um, no.
[00:00:48]  It's not the, oh, Jeff Dunham couldn't be done today.
[00:00:50]  It's that one specific Jeff Dunham puppet, the black pimp character, couldn't be done today because Jeff Dunham stopped doing it.
[00:00:58]  Jeff Dunham stopped doing it like 15 years ago.
[00:01:01]  That's the funny thing, too, is that I totally forgot about this, but I love when Jeff Dunham comes up, especially where it pertains cancel culture.
[00:01:09]  Or, yeah, because his last tour was called Still Not Cancelled.
[00:01:14]  And it's like, yeah, dude, you didn't get canceled because you did the commercially savvy thing and spiked your streetwise pimp character with a gold tooth and a purple suit and a top hat who I haven't seen any of the material of.
[00:01:31]  I'm sure it's fucking wonderful.
[00:01:33]  How you doing, Sweet Daddy?
[00:01:34]  No, no, it's not Slee Daddy.
[00:01:35]  It's Slee-daddy-dee.
[00:01:38]  Well, I'm happy to call you my new manager.
[00:01:46]  I'm what you call a player in the management profession.
[00:01:48]  Right.
[00:01:50]  Pimp.
[00:01:55]  You're a pimp?
[00:01:56]  That makes you the ho.
[00:01:57]  I'm not a whore.
[00:02:02]  What do you do for a living?
[00:02:03]  Make people laugh.
[00:02:04]  Make them feel good.
[00:02:05]  Right.
[00:02:05]  You the ho.
[00:02:07]  So what ideas do you have for my career?
[00:02:09]  First thing I got to do is school you in street.
[00:02:12]  Street.
[00:02:12]  Word.
[00:02:15]  What?
[00:02:15]  Word.
[00:02:18]  What word?
[00:02:20]  What?
[00:02:23]  You said word.
[00:02:24]  Word.
[00:02:26]  What word?
[00:02:27]  Oh, snap.
[00:02:27]  What the hell?
[00:02:30]  Dog, word is like, I heard that.
[00:02:31]  Heard what?
[00:02:33]  You're not cancelled because you already cancelled... He's called, like, Sweet D. You already cancelled Sweet D. And, like, good job, Jeff.
[00:02:43]  You were, like, actually ahead of the curve on that.
[00:02:44]  That was 15 years ago.
[00:02:46]  It's really like an old yeller moment.
[00:02:49]  He was like, no, let me do it.
[00:02:52]  Took Sweet D into the backyard.
[00:02:54]  Yeah.
[00:02:58]  It is the scene where he's shooting his friend in the head because he's a traitor.
[00:03:05]  But he does know what being cancelled is like because he's actually been cancelled.
[00:03:09]  His show was cancelled.
[00:03:11]  His show didn't last more than one season.
[00:03:14]  See, he's still, like, one of the most successful comedians of all time.
[00:03:19]  He is, like, back in 2008 or 2009, these were the statistics I was reading, he was the third highest grossing comedian in the world under Jerry Seinfeld.
[00:03:30]  Yeah, because of the Jeff Dunham Show.
[00:03:32]  He was doing sold-out tours, dude.
[00:03:34]  That's merch.
[00:03:36]  He had like a merch empire as well.
[00:03:38]  He probably still does.
[00:03:39]  The merch empire run by his ex-wife, by the way, who he tried to separate from in like 2012 or somewhere around there, and she countersued him for divorce.

=== Professional Divorce Doula (01:24) ===

[00:03:54]  She was like, fuck no, we're not doing a separation.
[00:03:58]  We're doing div- if you want to go this route, I'm taking half of the em- which I don't know how much she actually got from it.
[00:04:04]  But I'm assuming she got a lot, because her bio on IMDB says, like, how much she contributed to his, uh, to his act, to his TV show, uh, to- she ran the whole, uh, website and merch.
[00:04:19]  Damn.
[00:04:19]  So, she- She's now also a professional divorce advocate.
[00:04:27]  She's a professional, like, you know how they have doulas?
[00:04:31]  She's like a divorce doula.
[00:04:33]  She, like, coaches women through their divorce.
[00:04:38]  That's how good her divorce was from Jeff Dunham.
[00:04:41]  She's like, listen, listen, we all know that men are clowns.
[00:04:44]  We all know that men think they're so funny.
[00:04:46]  And I got some experience with funny men.
[00:04:49]  Matter of fact, I had more than one.
[00:04:52]  It was more than one man.
[00:04:54]  You know, Spicy Jalapeno used to always talk back too.
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