You can either remove your laugh reaction from my post or I will get racist on your ass
This week, one Facebook user plays hardball on her Roomates wanted ad, A Sandwich shop gives a cheeky name to one of their menu items and Christians start fantasizing about being jihadists and Taco Bell desperately tries to stop their employees from doing good posts on twitter Support the show for only $3.11/mo at http://patreon.com.miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode every week in your podcast app or browser, as well as instant access to hundreds of hours of previous bonus episodes Buy stickers at http://miniondeathcult.com Music: The Gories - You Done Got Wrong Them Crooked Vultures - Reptiles Beyoncé - Break My Soul
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when the storm gets us.
All their environment is coming.
Stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
We are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Pun... Sandwiches... Pun name... How do you say it?
Puns?
Pun name sandwiches?
Yeah.
Name pun... Sandwiches with pun names?
Sandwiches with pun names are responsible.
We're documenting it.
They really are.
They really are fucking everything up.
What's up everybody?
Yeah, just, it's, let me get it to number 37, okay?
I don't, I don't need to deal with, with your fucking, like, uh, this, this bike is a pipe bomb reference for your sandwich, alright?
Yeah, I don't want to know why this is called a Mark McGwire.
How is that still the name of this sandwich?
You guys haven't thought of anybody else?
Hey, what's up everybody?
Thanks for tuning in as always.
Quick bit of housekeeping.
All the stickers are restocked in the store.
I'm mailing out about the remaining 30 sticker orders left in my queue to send out.
what do you call it, left in my queue to send out.
If you tried to buy a work harder bumper sticker and it looked like they were sold out, That's my fault.
Now I changed the inventory.
They're not sold out anymore.
You can buy those again.
Oh, that's cool that they're on sold out.
That's exciting.
You know, it's ironic though, because you actually had to work harder to make that happen.
I mean, we all kind of do.
That's the beauty of the sticker.
You know, it's ironic, but it's also true.
It's also true.
Yeah, we have a fun show today.
Not too much misery or desolation or destruction in the pod this week.
I just wanted to start off with a pretty fun encounter somebody had, a listener had with Claire.
This is on Facebook.
Claire DM'd them on Facebook.
to say fuck you cunt you can either remove your laughing reaction from my post or i will get racist on your ass so claire seems like a reasonable person i like that she gave her a warning though it what's funny it actually what what that is that is very kind and that They did in the DMs, they didn't just break it out there on the main feed.
This is how you do it.
If you have a problem, start in the DMs.
I think that's how you should do it.
I feel that way.
Also, I think we need to reassess this entire show in a sense that maybe we've been underestimating the laugh reacts.
Maybe they're way more visceral than we thought.
I thought that they were pretty harmless.
Apparently they're warranting some good old-fashioned racism to be happening to you.
One of my favorite outsized reactions to the laugh react, which if you're not familiar with on Facebook, you know how you can like click like on whatever stupid-ass social media platform you do use?
Well on Facebook you also have the option of doing like emoji reacts, so the laughing one.
It's a fun one.
People like to use it.
You know, you like to think that they're using it in a light-hearted, jovial manner, but often it's somewhat caustic laugh reaction.
Yeah.
And my favorite outsized reaction to laugh reacts on Facebook was, I think it was some guy posted about how Antifo were domestic terrorists and such and such, you know, they're a threat, both domestic and foreign.
And, you know, like hundreds of people laughed at him.
And then he responded, he's like, I think the people laughing at my comment are the terrorists.
That is, that is so true.
Like, we don't think about, like, emotional terrorists.
You know, like, bullies are, bullies are basically terrorists, and laugh reacts are the bulliest thing you can do, and that's really pretty fucked up.
Yeah, I mean, 300 people woke up today and chose violence on that man's account with the laugh reacts.
And violence in pursuit of a political agenda, namely debasing that guy.
I mean, I'd vote for a candidate if that was on their agenda to ruthlessly mock that guy.
I would vote for that politician.
So, it fits the definition of terrorism.
One day that's going to happen.
It's going to be part of a campaign where they show... And look at this dunk I did.
Look at this.
This is basically a 360 windmill dunk that I did real casually.
Yeah, he ate it up.
I can't believe they even decided to ask what D's was.
And they did.
They did ask what D's was.
I mean, that is kind of like...
Left Facebook.
Like, left Facebook is just like, oh, let's go make fun of this middle-aged guy who's totally clueless about what he's talking about.
Probably a huge asshole, but that is like the extent of politics, you know, left book politics.
So yeah, I can see that growing too.
Vote for me.
I sent 400 people from the imagine-how-clever-this-fedora-tipping-centrist-thought-he-was Facebook group to this Magic the Gathering post.
Yeah.
Hey, I know you don't know who I am, but you know my work.
I'm the first person to do the titles on the person standing in the corner of the party room meme.
That's me.
I did that.
And I actually did several of the first variations of said meme that I designed.
So, vote for me.
It was actually my policy that led to such an uptick in membership for the Crate Digging and Rare Record Finds Facebook group when I instituted the Indigenous POC Wednesdays.
That's me.
That was me.
I did that.
You're just like a white guy up there?
See, I don't know if you know this, but I'm about change and I have a track record showing my change.
This one though, yeah.
I love the ultimatum here from Claire.
Remove your laughing reaction on my post or I will get racist on your ass.
Don't even fucking test me.
I will not hesitate to get racist.
I've done it before.
I'll fucking do it again.
I don't want to do it.
I don't want to do it, but I'm capable.
And who am I to say no to the tools God gave me?
I don't want to waste being a white woman.
I don't want to just let that fall on deaf ears.
What does she think is gonna happen when she gets racist?
The person on the receiving end of this, they're gonna be like, oh fuck, I didn't know a white person could be racist.
Oh shit, I guess I'll remove the laugh reaction now.
And what Claire really means is Claire is going to go onto their page and just write nigger a bunch of times in all caps.
And then she's going to DM and say, I told you, I told you what I was going to do, and here it is.
I'll delete it!
I'll delete it if you remove the laugh react, because I can still delete it.
Yeah, totally.
That's so awesome.
If you don't remove your laugh react, I am going to get fired from my job at Dairy Queen.
I will do it.
Yeah, I'm going to do racism at the job.
Not even good at it, just trying real hard.
Oh, I bet you would like the chocolate, wouldn't you?
I bet you would like the chocolate, huh?
And they're like, what does that mean?
What are you saying?
Yeah, I want the chocolate.
Yeah, I bet you would.
Black people love chocolate.
Isn't that how you started?
Because didn't you become that way?
Because you ate so much chocolate ice cream.
And everyone's like, damn, Claire, you're so racist.
Claire, I can't believe how racist you're being right now.
This is fucked up.
Yeah, I love like posting six just borderline antiquated anti-Mexican slurs on someone's Facebook page and then DMing them and be like, yeah, for 20 bucks, I'll take them down.
Ooh, that's tight.
That's tight.
I like that.
It's kind of like how when you, you know, when you're jerking off in front of the, your webcam on accident and somebody DMs you and they're like, we seen it all, man.
We got it recorded.
Send us, send us a Doug coin, uh, or else, uh, or else we're going to get really racist on your ass and say you have a small penis because you're white.
Oh, I gave it away.
Pretend you didn't see that.
That's what you will see, though, if you don't give us a dope point.
That's what you'll see.
Yep.
Everyone will see it.
No, I mean, even though I shut down Skype, I still turn it around.
I still turn that camera around, because I'm just worried that I'm actually going to call someone who I admire that I got to talk to on Skype one time.
And I'm going to somehow miss the ringtone.
Yeah.
I'm going to be that into it for some reason.
I'm going to miss the loud ringtone.
The loudest ringtone in existence.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is great.
So the post in question was in a group called Nashville Roommates, Rooms for Rent, and Roommate Finder.
And this is Claire, the person threatening to get racist.
This is Claire's post.
Sublease wanted!
I'm allergic to marijuana, tobacco, and cats!
All rudeness will be cussed out via inbox!
So already I know she wasn't lying about that.
At this point I'm feeling like maybe we're poking the bear.
I feel like we should have known not to laugh at this.
We should have seen this was coming.
Looking to move back to work on my country and worship songwriting career in the next couple weeks.
Preferably somewhere equal distance from downtown and from Music Row, mainly because I refuse to pay $20 for parking on a daily basis just to go to work.
My max budget is $7.25, all included.
No stairs, please.
And preferable pet-friendly, since I do plan on adopting a blue-ticked coonhound or a beagle.
No shots.
Great animals, right?
But arguably two of the most annoying possible dogs.
A beagle is the most annoying dog.
Pretty high needs dogs.
Pretty needy animals.
All beagles are assholes and their owners will tell you that.
All beagles are kind of like little ornery shits.
And they make the worst noises.
I thought beagles were friendly and that's why we torture them.
It's because they trust us.
Yeah, that's actually, they are friendly, they just whine a lot.
They do trust us, they just make a lot of awful noises all the time, and they're just kind of ornery.
I love the idea of like, I want to move into your apartment, here's all my rules, plus I'm going to adopt a dog while I'm living in a single room apartment with you.
That's part of my five year plan, so we're not avoiding that part.
Yeah.
Also, I don't think this option even exists.
I don't think there's no way.
I mean, I don't know Nashville prices necessarily, but I still think $7.25 is pretty low to have what all sounds like pretty high-needs things, preferably equal distance from here and here in downtown, but also right by Music Row.
Those seem like those are going to be pretty high.
It's probably going to not be that price.
It's probably a pretty desirable area.
But I respect it.
You ask for what you actually want.
You don't start otherwise.
You ask for what you actually need.
That's true.
That's true.
She did say she needs somewhere that's going to accept her future beagle.
Yeah.
And I will be working... I would be like, you can get the blue tick, but you can't get the beagle.
But I would only say that after she gets the beagle.
I will be working downtown, just not driving downtown, so I'll be needing short Uber trips to and from.
Don't know why that's in here.
Don't know why your future roommate needs to know about your Uber trips.
I'm fine with roommates.
Okay, that's who you're talking to.
Yeah, duh.
I'm not picky about gender.
Just no smokers, no vapors, no marijuana users, no drug doers, no criminal records.
I'm very pro Blue Lives Matter and Military Lives Matter, and prefer to have enough of a backyard to host bonfires and or writing sessions every now and then.
What?!
I do enjoy my wine, beer, whiskey, and rum, so alcohol-friendly is a must.
And I don't do cats.
Video chat and a tour is must!
What?
Like, also you needed a backyard that can accommodate a bonfire?
What?
What are you thinking?
Like, come on.
I guess we should have known they needed a bonfire because they did say they were very pro-blue lives, pro-military lives.
That's just part of the culture.
Yeah.
We're going to need to be able to get about a thousand people in the backyard for an anti-mask worship rally.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
We need this to happen ASAP.
That's on the schedule for August, and so every weekend until then, I'm going to be doing a dry run of my performance at this worship, you know, this upcoming worship event.
Yeah.
Yeah, so there's one reaction to this post, and it's Anna laughing at her, which is, I'm sorry, it's the correct reaction to this.
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, I would laugh just if everything else were perfectly sane, but it still had the phrase, military lives matter in it.
I would laugh react.
Absolutely.
That's enough for one laugh react.
I do hope this results with Anna getting another DM saying like, I found a place to live and I'm having an amazing bonfire.
I hope you're happy because that's good.
And I do think that Claire will have that kind of follow up.
Let's hope.
So Anna posted about this, she was like, uh, I just encountered this crazy woman who threatened to get racist on my ass, you know?
Oh no, whatever would I do if a white person was racist?
And she posted about it.
I think it went kind of viral.
And then somebody named Miranda Nicole Walker started defending Claire in the comments of this viral post.
And Miranda says, leave period.
Claire a fuck alone.
Yep, leave Clara fuck alone leave Clara fuck alone leave and then fuck alone Miranda also says Anna you a mean person I send Claire family after you I Think I think Claire's gonna do that What if that's what Claire meant Claire meant like I'm gonna burn a cross in your front yard.
Yeah I'm gonna get old-school on it.
Yeah, but get racist.
I mean, I'm gonna sell you into slavery.
Oh What would be the response if like someone tried to like burn across my front yard but then I just do a photo op in front of it?
Oh man.
Just do like a photo shoot instead?
Oh sick thanks guys.
Hey can you hold this flash for me actually?
How sick would it be if you just like...
Knocked some of their teeth out and like left them spread on the lawn in front of the burning cross and then took a photo.
Oh yeah!
And then took the photo?
That'd be awesome.
And it'd be cool because they probably like brought a drone so I can get like an aerial shot of it.
Hell yeah.
It'd be so hard.
Yeah, you get the aerial footage and you just put the Grand Theft Auto wasted over it as it like zooms out from the the KKK dude's body.
You know what's really sad about Miranda?
I'm looking at Miranda's profile picture, and like, you know the way the circle crops it?
You see that, and you can kind of re-crop things.
Anna, I'm sorry, not Anna, but Miranda is like, her face is kind of cropped out, but the entire empty passenger seat is in the photo, and I thought that was like somebody with her, and then I realized like, it's just sad, like you're giving this empty passenger seat like more attention than yourself, and it's just really kind of sad.
Well, I think maybe the reason it's a weird profile pic, I think that Miranda is Claire.
I think that it's quite possible that Miranda is just Claire, because if you go to Miranda's Facebook page, her bio says, People have the right to be racist.
Everyone is different.
Which is actually something I've been saying for a long time.
Everyone has the right to be a racist.
Yeah, well that's an inalienable right?
You can't take that away.
You can't take that away, yeah.
Everyone is different.
Some people are racists.
Have you thought about that?
Everybody has the right to be racist.
Being reverse racist, though, that's a different story.
Nobody should have that right.
That's not okay.
That's not okay.
Also, like, you know, how inclusive are you?
You know?
Like, who do you think you are?
I love people have the right to be racist.
Everyone is different.
You know, when are the racists going to get their band of the LGBTQ plus rainbow?
Well, you don't even know that my cousin was beat up by a black guy.
So have you thought about that?
Yeah.
Maybe that's my right.
Have you thought about that?
Yeah.
Um, actually like tolerance is just a construct, you know, tolerance and, and, uh, you know, what do you, what do you call it?
Like getting along, like everybody getting along.
It's just a social construct.
And I'm, I'm choosing, I'm, I'm, I'm non-tolerant.
I'm identifying as a, as non-tolerant.
And I'm not going to apologize for not being a sheep.
You know, that's, that's, that's for you to be a sheep.
Some white guy has definitely made the joke, like, oh, my pronouns are sir or master.
Sir slash massa.
Oh, yeah, that's for sure happened.
That has no doubt happened.
And we'll find them.
We'll find them.
It's our solemn promise to you.
I'm going to say, hey, you better change your pronouns or else I'm going to do a racism to you.
Because what I would be doing to them, they would perceive as racism.
Uh, so yeah, just uh, wow, so much for the tolerant left.
You know, oh, we have to respect everybody, even the racists, hmm?
Yeah.
Everyone's different.
Bring that up.
See how quickly they drop their act, the tolerant act.
Oh, you want me to just, just ignore my heritage?
You know, like I, I named my, I named my son Forrest.
Have you thought after my great, great uncle.
Dude, the phrase, people have the right to be racist, everyone is different, is like... It's true.
I'm gonna remember that one.
Yeah.
I don't remember a lot of stuff, but I'm gonna remember that one.
I might just post that independently of sources soon.
See how that goes.
Yeah, totally.
Okay, moving moving on.
Headline news.
I know I said that it was going to be a light-hearted episode.
Well, guess what?
I lied.
Because we're digging into the shit here.
The real issues affecting real people in this world.
From across the pond, you know, you think, oh, we have it bad over here in America.
Why don't you just wait?
Why don't you hold that thought for a second?
Okay, this got pretty widely reported overseas in the UK.
Bakery threatened with legal action over discriminatory cheese sandwich name.
Whoa!
The Bridge Bakehouse was asked to make a public apology and donate to a village church after a customer took offense when the bakery named a sandwich Jesus Christ.
Okay, that's hilarious.
That's hilarious.
That's extremely funny.
Because it's like Jesus, but it's like cheese instead.
Oh, I thought it was funny just because it had the word cheese in it.
That usually would do it for me.
That would usually be enough for me.
But yeah, I guess they're making fun of Jesus, too.
Well, that's not right, Tony.
That's not cool.
That's not okay.
Some people love Jesus.
I mean, I would say, like, it would be more blasphemous to name your sandwich just Jesus Christ.
That would be.
That would be, yeah.
Like, call your sandwich the Second Coming or something like that.
The Messiah.
Yeah, I mean, you're like...
I think naming it Jesus Christ is admitting that it's an inferior product to the product of Jesus Christ.
We're not saying it's Jesus, we're saying it's the cheese kind of Jesus.
Exactly.
Oh, as long as it's not Swiss cheese.
As long as it's not Swiss cheese, because then there'd be holes in it.
That'd be rude.
I actually want to do one called the Matzah Sire, and it's going to be like a tamale-influenced sandwich.
It's going to have corn in it.
Oh shit.
That'd be pretty good.
Yeah.
You know, I'm just trying to break ground when it comes to pun sandwich names and, you know, really innovating the world of pun sandwiches.
I mean, it's not a sandwich, but you could, what about Stig matzah balls?
Ooh, that's, that, that double rules.
I like that a lot.
Um, yeah, I think that's a good idea.
Do you, do you put holes through the, are they like donuts?
Do you put holes through the matzah ball?
I think you have to.
It's served on a kebab.
It's served on the Spear of Destiny kebab.
Yeah, yeah.
That's how you eat it.
You eat it with this tradition.
If you run a kosher deli and you want to do, like, food, you know, an item that makes fun of Jesus, we wholeheartedly back that 100%.
Please give us a heads up so we can monitor the social media responses in real time.
Yeah, we don't need you.
That's yours.
You can have that.
You just have to let us know about it, okay?
But that's yours.
Do that.
Yeah, we're going to do a whole rollout of that and we're going to be there on the ground floor.
Catch every little juicy dripping that comes from that Facebook post.
I'll keep a little vegan PTO if I need to try it.
If you guys have like a chicken stock.
I'll keep a little vegan PTO for that.
Yeah, so apparently a while back the Bridge Bakehouse had like part of their menu defaced over this the sandwich name Jesus Christ And you honestly like would not even know it because I don't know if you looked at the article I sent you.
Yeah There's like a photo of their menu and you probably didn't even realize that's what it was there's like a It looks like the font where it says Jesus Christ, because you're looking at the menu, you see all the other names or whatever.
It just looks like the Jesus Christ sandwich is like slightly faded.
That's what I thought it was.
I thought it was just like that popular.
Everybody pointing at the sign eventually rubbed off that menu item.
No, somebody tried to put like white paint over it and it just made it slightly lighter.
That's so funny.
Using whiteout is like the funniest way for like a Christian to address this kind of thing.
That's exactly, you know, it's beautiful.
I love it.
You got to use the tape.
You got to use the tape kind of whiteout.
Oh, you know what?
I realize the problem now.
The Jesus Christ is a cold sandwich.
And like, in theory, I don't know if Jesus Christ ever went cold.
Oh yeah.
I don't think, I think, I think that body stayed warm.
Yeah, you know he's got a warm body.
Like the wine when you drink it, it like warms up your chest.
So I think, yeah, I think that might be the issue here.
I get, I understand now.
So I'm gonna read from the letter here.
The strongly worded letter, which purported to be from the religious organization Christian Concern, received by the Bridge Bakehouse, read, To the proprietors of the Bridge Bakehouse, to whom it may concern, you already said that part, we have been appointed by a number of members of the parish of Whaley Bridge Holy Trinity Church to contact you regarding your sandwich named Jesus Christ.
We're at work to make Jesus and His ways known and to protect fellow Christians from discrimination and have the freedom to live and speak for Him.
As you will no doubt be aware, the slant on the name Jesus Christ is an insult to Christianity and is seen in the eyes of the law as discrimination against Christians.
Okay, the first part I understand why you're saying that, but don't try to say there's a law about it.
The first part I totally get, but don't try to say there's a law about it.
That's not real.
I bet you just like, I don't know, a good 60% of people over the age of 50 think there's a law on the books against making them mad.
Yeah.
You're not allowed to do anything that gets me upset.
Well, yeah, because I haven't done anything wrong.
I'm a God-fearing individual.
I haven't done anything wrong.
It's like, why should I have to feel upset because you want to have a funny sandwich name?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
No, I get how they feel because I fucking hate it when I go somewhere and I can order the Notorious BLT or the Wu-Tangy Chicken.
I hate that shit.
Like, it makes me so mad.
Like, don't, do not, whatever you, listen, whatever you do, follow your dreams, okay?
Follow your dreams.
Do your thing.
Create your thing.
You know, whatever you do, don't do a hip-hop pun.
Don't.
I will, I will, I will, I will, you will, I will ban you from, I will ban you.
You'll be banned from everything.
Period.
All the places.
What about Tupac Bagoc Chicken Fingers?
Okay, I mean, as long as... Do they have a vegan option?
Yeah, of course, Tony.
It's actually only vegan.
I think I saw someone trying to say that.
I don't know if it's true that Tupac was vegan, but I don't know if that's true.
Yeah, I don't know.
So maybe don't make the chicken fingers until you find out.
You have to at least do that part correctly.
Yeah, I fucking hate that shit.
No, it's like Tony said.
Say whatever you want about Jesus, but just leave the puns off the menu.
Please.
Yeah.
Don't do that.
It's corny.
It never works.
Unless you have a burger place and you're a cartoon.
Yeah.
Man, the Bob's Burgers movie was really good.
We're gonna watch it tonight, I think.
Yeah.
It's a little spooky.
It's a little spooky.
You might get spooked.
Ooh, I don't know if a cartoon will spook her anymore.
It's like a murder mystery.
So... Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is against the law, Tony, to do a pun, a Jesus pun, on your sandwich.
Yeah, absolutely.
This is definitely written by the type of person who's like, Facebook, you do not have permission to use my photos!
This is, yeah, exactly.
Jesus did that before Jesus died.
He said, you do not have my permission to use my name for funny gags and sandwiches.
Our members have instructed us to write you to ask you to remove the sandwich named Jesus Christ from your menu.
Although our clients would prefer to settle this matter out of court, there is clearly a case to answer here.
Everyone in the United Kingdom has the right to their beliefs without fear of discrimination.
It is a basic human right that all institutions, including bakeries, have a duty to abide by and protect.
To ensure that we do not have... To ensure that we do not take this matter further, we propose the following steps.
1.
Issue a public apology on your interest platform.
Probably supposed to be internet platforms, e.g.
social media, website, etc.
within five working days of the date of this letter.
We got a little timeline laid out within five days.
The clock is ticking, Mr. Sandwich.
You do know that God's on our side, right?
You do know what five days from now is?
It's motherfucking Sabbath, dog.
You ready for that?
That's when he's the most powerful.
He's getting all that money.
All that money's energy, baby.
Remove the sandwich name and all mention of it from your menus within 10 working days of the date of this letter.
3.
Remove any mention of the name Jesus Christ from your sign standing on the Whaley Bridge Parish within 30 working days of the date of this letter.
4.
Make a donation of 300 quid, probably, to the Holy Trinity Church within 30 working days of the date of this letter.
They're getting a little more reasonable.
This timeline is actually pretty manageable.
I actually appreciate this.
Thank you for that.
I wish more people would be as reasonable as this church is, actually.
To reiterate, our clients do not wish to take this further, but feel they will need to do so in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, if action is not taken.
So there's typos riddled throughout this, but those are the daily mails typos.
Oh, okay.
They might have been typos.
They might have been like a Da Vinci Code-like sequence.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ is spelled Jesus Corset.
Jesus Corset, our Lord and Savior.
A Jesus Corset?
That's kind of... We can't bring sexiness into Jesus Christ.
So just adding further insult.
I mean, it's not a pun, Jesus Crescent, but it is like a misspelling of the words.
It is.
You look real stupid.
As fellow good standing citizens of the village of Whaley Bridge, we are confident you will take the correct action without this going further.
Oh, yeah.
And so the restaurant shop, you know, posted this on social media and laughed about it.
They said something like, We're going to look at the footage of whoever defaced the sign and left the note, and if it's not somebody in a Zorro mask and pants, we're going to be upset about it.
Yeah, I like that.
I like that.
And they use the Antonio Banderas Zorro, which is sexy.
Yeah.
Yeah, it doesn't feel like an insult.
It gets me fucking going.
Uh, responses to this were mostly, like, laughing and, you know, trying to make your own puns.
Uh, there was a lot of people who were like, uh, it should have been Jesus Crust, actually, guys.
Shut up, shut up.
Come on.
It was fine.
Would be 10 times funnier.
I would laugh at the sandwich 10 times more if it were Jesus, Jesus Crust instead.
People would miss it because you're doing too much.
People would not, would not catch it.
But there were a lot of people who were pretty angry about this.
Space Ghetto.
People love that fucking dude.
People are all up on Jesus's dick.
It's crazy.
I see it all the time.
Dick writer conference in this comment section.
All the time.
Space Ghetto from Spice World, United Kingdom.
I hate that.
Christianity is the most discriminated religion ever and again the DM, Daily Mail, only lets comments on this religion.
My local piercers thought it was okay to post a pic of Jesus Christ at Easter saying into body piercing before it was cool.
Not even slightly funny.
Alright, alright, okay.
I do like that they said it's not funny.
You know, that's good.
At least they understand that part.
I mean, you know, Jesus Christ saying, you know, I was into body piercing before it was cool.
The whole before it was cool thing is a bit of a tired phrase.
But, you know, using Jesus's, using God's wounds, using God's wounds to promote your, you know, piercing shop.
I think that's kind of funny.
I like, I, but the thing is that's, that's like never really a piercing shop.
It is like a not of this world company that says, it says like piercing body, body piercing saved my life.
And then it has like the hand with the, no, it just has the nail, which do, do, do you remember?
Hey, do you remember?
No, this was an advertisement for a piercing shop.
Oh, it was real?
Yeah.
I've seen those shirts.
No, this guy is whining.
He's bringing his complaints about another.
He's saying he's seeing this discrimination rampant and it's going unchecked.
At a local piercers, he saw them mocking God's wounds on the front.
Oh, no, like your companies make those same shirts.
But it's saying the same thing.
But they don't really mean body piercing.
They don't want you to get the body piercing.
You're supposed to understand that that's only for Jesus.
Only Jesus is allowed to get gauges.
Do you remember there was a minute where Christian hardcore dudes were getting their ears punched with nails?
With a hammer and a nail.
The only person I can think of, I actually like him a lot, but it totally was like a Jesus thing.
Wow.
Yeah, it was like to feel his pain.
They would put a piece of wood behind your ear and get a nail and it would be like a rustic railroad.
They went to fucking Calico.
They went to Calico Ghost Town.
And they, you know, they went to the gift shop and they bought a couple of miniature railroad spikes, you know?
And they would, like, hammer it into their ear.
And it was like... Oh, did you do it?
Oh, is it in?
Did you get it?
And your buddy's like, yeah, but I did forget to take the leather thong off of it.
It was wrapped around the nail.
So that's kind of just also through your ear now.
Yeah, you don't have an ear lobe.
Yeah, but it's not, it's, you know, this stuff, thank you Space Ghetto from Spice World, United Kingdom.
You would think somebody with the name Space Ghetto and purporting to be from Spice World, United Kingdom, you would think that they might have a sense of humor about sensitive subjects.
Did Spice Girls bring on a black fear amongst English people?
Oh yeah, they were scared.
They were scared by Scary Spice!
Scary Spice!
Was it that literal?
It probably was.
But they were like, oh this is kind of urban.
This is kind of urban.
Urban's my favorite word people use.
This is pretty urban.
Maybe the Spice Girls are making the world a space ghetto.
Yeah, space ghetto.
Can't think of any possible complaints anybody else might have about that.
Am I going to steal it and use it for myself?
Maybe.
Bob Marliel.
It's Bob Marley with an L at the end of it.
Can we just leave blackness alone for like five seconds?
Just give us two seconds away from it, please.
Please stop using it for your screen names.
Bob Marleyal, Folkestone, United Kingdom, says, Are Christians permitted to show offense when this is definitely in had taste?
Tell you what, why don't we form a mob and hound the owners out of business?
Oh no, that's the other faith.
That's what you're doing though.
You're part of the mob that's doing it.
What?
Oh, that's the other faith?
Yeah, there were a lot of...
There were a lot of, like, uh, Christians, I guess, in this comment section, jealous of Muslims for apparently being able to do violence on behalf of their religion.
There's a lot of references to, uh, they obviously mean, like, Muslims or Hindu people, uh, about mobs of people terrorizing, uh, businesses and things like that.
And it's like, Okay, for one thing, uh, you're openly admitting you want to do that.
You just don't have the numbers.
You're just not popular enough.
I'm sorry.
It's like how, you know, like, there comes a point in, like, your radicalism where you, like, figure out and, like, understand and empathize certain things that are seen as, like, terrorist acts, you know?
They're doing that with, like, like, the, like, the geist we've... Yeah, Charlie.
Charlie thing.
They're doing that with that.
They're like, you know what?
Like they didn't just let him draw pictures, bro.
They didn't just let him draw pictures.
Like they gave him the smoke.
Like that, that sucks.
That sucks.
If they're like, yo, that's, that's hard bodied.
Maybe, maybe we should think about, you know, giving them the smoke when they make fun of fun of Jesus Christ.
No, I mean, all these, like, you know, I hesitate to even call these people religious fundamentalists.
I sincerely doubt that.
I think they're just miserable people, you know?
They just, they have their identity wrapped up, you know, at least adjacent to a religion, if not, you know, fully embedded in that culture, regardless of whether they actually practice it, go to church on Sundays, or, you know, live in a Christ-like fashion, or whatever.
I post in a Christlike fashion.
I think that's what's most important, because then you have receipts, you know?
Yeah, these people, they wish we could go back to an age when everybody just had to be Christian.
When everybody had to be part of their religion.
Because now that we have that, nobody wants to be associated with you, man.
And it's very funny to be acting high and mighty about how, oh, Christians turn the other cheek when one, you clearly don't want to do that.
Two, I don't know, you go to a place like America where the religious right has a death grip on the politics of this country.
A person can't control their own fucking reproductive system because of a religion.
Because of that.
But it's so weird, because both things are happening right now, right?
Where we have these people saying, like, can we please go back to when the church was the government?
Can we please go back to that?
And then we have these newfound conservatives who are like, I actually don't like the church government that does exist.
It's not up to snuff anymore.
It needs to be more radical, more conservative.
Yeah, it's not extreme enough.
They're like, the pope doesn't actually count anymore.
Like these people are like, can we go back to an OG Pope?
And other people are all like, actually the Pope sucks now, so we need to go way back.
Yeah, we need a monarch ordained by God.
There's gonna be like an abbreviation for like pre-plague, like pre-plague lifestyle.
You know?
Yeah, I'm plague-pilled.
Yeah, plague-pilled is gonna be a thing.
I love these two comments back-to-back.
Pretty good cross-section of what this comment section was.
MK Maynard says, how utterly tasteless and anti-Christianity.
Shame on the owner.
And then Del right underneath, not as a reply, just a separate comment.
Del says, I don't bre-leave it!
I hate you, Del.
You're actually my least favorite poster in this whole comment section.
I thought it was cute.
I thought it was funny.
Of course, yeah, it's cute.
It's cute.
I'm fucking tired of cute.
Time to get... What was that one?
Like, mean girls?
Oh, it's time to get nasty.
Yeah, totally.
Get nasty with your cheese puns.
Can't be cute with these people anymore.
Get nasty.
Gotta get Gruyere in this bitch.
Is that a stinky one?
Is that stinky?
I think it's a stinky... What's the stinkiest cheese?
Limburger.
Gotta get Limburger in this hoe.
I don't think that's ever been used in like, like the same context.
I don't think, I don't think they've adopted that one yet.
Nevermind.
You keep trying.
Sticker.
Maybe try it again later on in the episode.
See if it works.
Too Cool X from Boston, United States says, not long from now, someone will appear and overturn all the tables in this establishment.
Dot, dot, dot.
Oh my God.
Will it be Jesus?
It would be the second coming of Jesus Christ.
It would be Jesus?
It's gonna be a guy in a cheese costume flipping every single one.
A cheese, like a cheese costume with like a toga?
This is it, man.
This is like modern religion.
It's just like, yeah, one day my God's gonna come back and smite all the people who annoyed me on social media.
What's sad is Jesus did come back and unfortunately he's only been releasing mixtapes on SoundCloud.
And he refused us to evolve.
We need to go to them.
They're on SoundCloud right now.
Supposedly the Sandwich Shop did investigate the Christian Concern organization and the Whaley Bridge Holy Trinity Church to see if they actually Sent this thing and apparently they didn't even though the letter that it was printed on was official letterhead from an organization called Christian Concern.
Wait, they didn't investigate them to see if they were actually a threat?
Because that's what they should have been doing.
They should have been like, hey, have you guys bought any manure lately?
There's no piping here, right?
No one's bought any alarm clocks?
No?
No?
Any pilots in the house?
Can I get a hands up for pilots in the house?
And I would raise my hand because I'm a pilot.
Yeah.
Um, can we, can we do like a one-on-one with a social worker and every girl under the age of 18 here?
Nope.
There's no girls under 18 here actually.
Oh, okay.
Well that makes our job easier.
Great.
Okay.
Carry on.
There's actually no, there's actually no under 18 here.
Wow.
What a progressive place.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
See, when we baptize you, we make you 18.
Oh, no.
See, when you've been washed, you've been washed of your age, and you are now 18.
Okay, well, now that we have that information, can we interview just everybody?
No, you can't, because we also died that day.
We're also all legally dead.
We're just going to pump sleeping gas into the whole building, right?
Okay, last thing I wanted to talk about. last thing I wanted to talk about.
Speaking of social media and places of business, there's a post here from Labor411, which I follow on Facebook.
And I'm trying to remember.
They're a pretty good Facebook page.
You know, they tweet about working class issues, what's going on with the labor force, and they posted here, Taco Bell instructing its employees what they can and cannot say on the workers' own social media.
And I just want to say, like... Hold on, Taco Bell?
Yeah.
No!
They're bad, Tony.
No, not Taco Bell.
No, don't say that.
They brought the potatoes back.
Sorry.
If you use the app, you get like a... I just had a chalupa the other day for the first time in a long time.
Oh, cool.
You should get it with black beans and potatoes.
Yeah, well... And jalapenos.
When you eat it, Taco Bell, the blood, it's not only out of your butt, it's on your hands.
Dang, because every time I leave, I dab them up.
I'm like, hey, you're posting, right?
And I dab them up.
And it turns out they shouldn't be posting because they can't even post.
That's fucked up.
I'm mad.
I'm never going to the cantina.
I'm just debating whether or not we should even read this because the only way a photo of this suggestion screen on the training menu made it to social media was somebody posted it.
Oh no.
Well, I mean, huge mistake, buddy.
If you interact with it, you're kind of telling on them.
It's like a violation of, you know, but okay.
The cat's already out of the bag, so let's see here.
This is a screen at like a, you know, like a checkout touchscreen type situation.
It says, what can or can't I post?
This is like training for Taco Bell employees.
Do post.
Hey, if you're looking for a job, the Taco Bell I work at is hiring.
Online and in-store applications are available.
And it's like, post that whenever.
Just post that all the time.
Because we're always hiring.
Yeah, we are hemorrhaging employees.
I know you're working here, but we also need more of you.
You're probably going to leave any day, so you need to post this now.
Don't post.
Screw Taco Bell.
I need a new job.
Wish I never started working here.
Crying emoji.
Yeah, maybe don't post that if they know you're on social media.
Maybe don't post that.
Also, I don't know.
Don't talk about it, be about it, you know?
I mean, like quit immediately?
No, fight your boss.
Fight your boss, record you fighting your boss, then post that.
It's kind of the same thing as quitting.
That's true.
Oh, babe, what happened?
Rough day at work?
Yeah, like three people fought me.
What?
Yeah, I said they had to come back from their lunches.
They had to do this training during their lunch and they all fought me.
I won though.
They left.
Yeah, it's sad when you can't even get a two week's notice before they fight you.
Dude, don't you ever do a two week's notice.
Okay, do post, today marks three years working at Taco Bell.
I love my job.
Again, you can post this whenever.
I don't think I've ever seen that one.
I don't, you know, I don't know if I've ever seen, I've worked at Taco Bell for three years and love my job.
I don't think that one's a very popular post.
Give me a minute.
Give me a minute.
Let me make sure I upload this episode first And then I might post because like I think you can post that whenever Doesn't matter how long you work talk about even if you've never worked at Taco Bell Don't post the only good thing about working at Taco Bell are the free freezes What why can't you post that because you're implying that everything else about Taco Bell sucks I Yeah, but like, the thing is you should believe in your freezies enough.
And like, you should also be able to lean on this.
You should, like, when people do complain, when they're like, hey, so, um, I, I can't afford this, you know, they should be able to say, but yeah, but you get, you get free freezies though.
Look at all these tweets where people are saying that free freezes are worth it.
Look at all these tweets, all this evidence that we're clearly taking care of you.
Also probably because you don't get free freezes, I'm sure.
No, they want you to say something like, what I like most about working at Taco Bell is the friendly atmosphere, flexible hours, strong commitment to integrity, and also the free freezes.
Yep.
The free freezes are pretty much where it's at.
I think it really isn't all about the concern of people really abusing the free freezes policy.
Again, they're worried about hemorrhaging from the free freezes.
Do post, the life of a Taco Bell employee.
Love my job.
You know what I mean?
Don't post, I'm working at Taco Bell just so I can slip tacos into the back and eat them.
And you probably shouldn't post that one.
It's very funny, and I would like it if you posted it, but that is not legal advice to post it.
Just keep that to yourself.
Don't do that.
Don't ever post that, because the thing is, they are bringing up Twitter in, like, court.
So don't do that.
Bad move.
Listen, I'm not the college type, you know?
to start my education parentheses.
Thanks to Taco Bell.
So I can get on my path to be a general manager.
Hashtag excited.
Listen, I've, I never, I'm not the college.
I'm not the college type.
You know, I'm not academia and me.
We don't agree, but I got this opportunity to be a fucking general manager.
So I'm going to pursue the education.
Thank you, Taco Bell.
Getting my master's degree so I can make $30,000 a year at Taco Bell.
Yeah, yeah.
So I can ball out, baby.
General manager, dog.
General manager, GM.
$35,000, Brett.
$35,000.
Do the math.
35 do the math eating good I mean that is true though That is doing a lot better than a lot of people.
Yeah.
On the books, including me.
If anybody asks, definitely me.
Got a 2005 Lexus out there.
Almost paid off.
Oh, shit.
I mean, I wish I could join in this joke.
My Hyundai is paid off, so...
I'm pivoting and I'm saving for the Hyundai.
The new Hyundais are so sick.
Have you seen the new Hyundais?
Yeah, that little grill.
That little smiley grill it's got.
The new ones aren't out yet.
They're almost out.
They're going to release that old car that's an electric car that looks like a Lincoln.
Well, that one is amazing.
That's a concept car.
Are they really producing that one?
I think they're going to do it.
Oh my god.
I showed Ani that and she was like, gross.
And I'm like, we're divorced.
Get out of here.
No.
No, it's so sick.
It's so sick.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Oh, I guess you won't be cosigning for this.
I guess you won't be cosigning for this.
We'll just cosign for each other and we'll both get matching ones.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
But they're also doing this little roadster thing that's pretty sick looking that's in an electric car that's supposed to have a crazy range.
It's like, yo, that's cool that they're killing it like that.
Alright, last thing you can't post from Taco Bell HQ.
While you're crying in the freezer, eating your freezie on your break.
I'm starting to hate working at Taco Bell.
Too many negative people.
I go in work in a good mood and leave in a bad mood.
Angry face emoji.
I mean, you do know you're talking about, like, the customers, if you're saying that, you know?
Uh, maybe.
I think it's more of like, everybody hates their job at Taco Bell, and so I go in and everybody's just miserable.
Oh, hold on, there's one more.
This is a do.
This is a do.
It does say, play Beyonce's Break My Soul, fill the deep fry basket up with ice, and drop that shit while recording.
Yeah.
That actually has a fire emoji and a thumbs up.
And it has one of those weird, like, coded, like, sick barbed wire, like, new flame, like, coded things.
And a couple, like, oriental-ish, orientalist-esque icons that are probably not being used appropriately next to that one.
So maybe do that.
It says to do that.
Yeah, they somehow got the old English font on the Twitter app.
They did that somehow.
It looks really cool.
It looks really cool.
It's hard.
And there's like a large-breasted schoolgirl animation giving two thumbs up, which is cool.
That's a gif.
There's a 16-year-old in a Ayiago sweatshirt saying, hey, this shit is dope.
Yep.
So you know it's cool.
So you know it's cool.
Okay, let's get into responses here.
These responses are on the Labor 411 Facebook page, so most of them were, you know, very anti-Taco Bell, but, you know, very positive towards the overall ethos of Labor 411, which, you know, the reason they posted this shit is to At the very least, make fun of it.
The very grandest gesture to bring awareness to something that's possibly illegal.
You can't really tell your employees.
I don't think not to post your thoughts.
I think that there's a code of conduct that sometimes you have to adhere to to be part of a business organization.
Probably.
I don't know what, like, in any way, even if it were illegal, that means you gotta bring your case before the National Labor Relations Board, which there's no telling, you know, whether or not it's even gonna be heard, let alone whether they're gonna rule in your favor, but... But there is a comfort in, like, being in, like, a union, and, like, knowing that you could probably, you can say, like, work sucked today.
You know you can say that comfortably.
Oh yeah, totally.
I can complain about work all I want.
Exactly, yeah.
So yeah, this being in this forum is that type of like, look what you gotta put up with.
Look what you gotta put up with when you're out there flying solo.
Yeah, I would be able to post any one of these things except for the thing about stealing tacos from your shop.
Yeah, you can't self-incriminate.
However, here are some responses that kind of agreed with Taco Bell.
Eddie Page says, Unfortunately, too many people don't realize that dissing your employer is shooting yourself in the foot.
At least Taco Bell made it clear.
Keep your negative comments off of social media at all times, but only if you want to be successful.
But only if you want to be successful is like what really ruins it.
Yeah.
That's what really ruins the whole thing.
Cause like there is an element of like, yeah, if you know you don't have any type of protection for your labor, you, you gotta kind of be, you gotta kind of be chill about it, you know?
And that sucks because you are shooting yourself in the foot.
But like to, to be like, to be like, and that's your fault because you're an idiot is like what sucks.
Yeah.
To have no other, to offer like no vision of a different situation and is just like, I don't know, it's great how dissing my employer is shooting myself in the foot.
So my employer, they get to make all the money.
They get to decide when they want to fire me, when they want to hire me.
They get to decide what my job is even like.
What my job is like on a daily fucking basis.
They get to decide how much to pay me.
They get to decide whether or not any of these things I've just described change at a moment's notice.
And I also don't get to talk shit about them.
What?
Yeah, that's not worth it.
I can't even be upset about this situation?
Yeah, that seems like bullshit.
This outsized relationship, this insane power dynamic they have over me, I'm not even allowed to express my discomfort with that?
In any other dynamic, that is straight-up abuse.
That's like, hey, listen, I'm gonna do something you hate and you can't get mad about it.
That's abuse every time.
Yeah.
And it's really cool.
Dissing your employer is shooting yourself in the foot.
And it's like, what do you mean?
Oh, you mean my employer's going to fire me if they see this?
Well, then it sounds like my employer is the one shooting me in the foot.
Yeah.
It sounds like my employer is the one abusing, you know, abusing the power.
And like, yeah, shooting them at your foot is gonna be like not giving you the proper, like, safety stuff so your foot gets ran over.
But if you look at Eddie's page on Facebook, his cover photo is a fucking James Baldwin quote.
Yeah, but that all, like, this is one of those ones that's like, it's used by libertarians, you know?
Oh, and it's great!
Wow, I just realized which quote it was.
Let me pull up the full quote here.
Yeah, the James Baldwin quote that Eddie has as his cover photo on Facebook is, I love America more than any other country in the world.
And exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.
Yes, which is like a quote that I love.
On a fucking post about how you're not allowed to be critical of the place you work at.
Eddie Page sides with the employer who says you're not allowed to be critical of the place you work at.
With a quote from James Baldwin about how good it is to criticize the country you live in.
And what sucks too is like this is like a total lib because like their profile picture is a tattered American flag that says, nothing disrespects July 4th like January 6th.
And it's like, so this person is a total, like just a total like lame ass fucking lib.
Like I hate them.
Huge dork.
They suck.
They super dork.
And they think they're super right.
They think they're like extra right.
Still, like, a year and a half later, you're more upset about, like, 50 dumbasses who just, like, by their own kind of luck, didn't get wiped out by police.
Yeah.
You're more upset about that than, like, the state of the American labor force.
Like, the shit we've been having to put up with for decades now.
You're more upset about Nancy Pelosi's mail getting ruffled and rifled through.
Keep your personal life out of your job, and keep your job out of your personal life.
Hey, listen, you don't shit where you eat, you know?
You know what I'm saying?
You gotta cum where you eat.
You gotta say good things about it.
I guess that could be described as cumming, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Katelyn Clark says, this is actually expected at any respectable employer.
And employers scope out social medias of applicants frequently.
It helps tell who you really are, or at least what kind of a personality you want to represent.
Because believe it or not, no matter where you work, you are a representative of your workplace, even outside of the building.
This isn't just a Taco Bell thing.
And it's like, yeah, okay?
If your workforce, if your employees are fucking miserable, that's probably going to be represented outside the workplace.
And what Taco Bell is worried about is not worried about whether their employees are miserable or not, it's about whether or not people know about it.
Yeah, and also, if the jobs that are good aren't worried about this happening because they're good jobs, but if you know you're doing something worth complaining about and you want to silence that before it happens, then that means there's something worth talking about that you don't want out there.
Yeah, you're right.
If you have a good job, you're not tweeting about it, talking about how much it sucks.
I don't talk about how much I hate my job because I like my jobs.
I'm very lucky to have the jobs I have.
I mean, it's just a coincidence that if you didn't, you'd be fired.
Yeah, exactly!
See you later!
I'm gonna go like, I'm gonna go like show up to my local spots and be like, oh yeah, hey dog, here's a burrito and they're like, oh you didn't you didn't hear?
You didn't hear?
We don't get burritos from you anymore.
Sorry, dude.
Yeah, I made some calls.
You gotta go.
You can get your things on the way out.
Yeah, I saw what you posted.
I saw what you posted about January 6th being worse than the 4th.
You can't do that.
You can't say that.
No, it was actually one of your baseball posts.
You posted something about the Dodgers and I was like, this is annoying and boring.
I hate this.
No thank you.
No thank you.
But you can't do that because you know if you do that you're actually silencing the plight of like the one of like five black American baseball players and one of them just happens to be the best one in the game in Mookie Betts.
So you wouldn't do that.
Yeah, it's also great that this is, you know, on behalf of fast food, this is on behalf of Taco Bell.
Yeah.
All these people concern trolling about, you know, oh, you got to make the company look good.
Of course, a company is not going to let you make them look bad.
Wow.
That's just in their self-interest.
Of course, all of this is happening within the larger conversation about how fast food jobs aren't worth a living wage.
Yes.
Your fast food job, it's not a career, it's just a stepping stone, it's just a job for high teenagers.
You're worthless if you work at one of these multi-million dollar fast food companies.
You're not worth anything.
Yeah, sure, the company is great, makes a billion dollars every year, but that's got nothing to do with you as an employee.
Why don't they just, like, incorporate fast food companies into, like, the high schools and make it, like, a period?
Like, third period is line cook at McDonald's.
Yeah, they should.
And then they can just, you know, you get, like, you get, what do you call it, like, a unit.
You don't have to, they don't even have to pay you.
You just get a couple units.
And if you, like, skip enough times, you're just, you get kicked out of school.
So, you get fired.
You get arrested for stealing time.
I know that we're not paying you, but also, like, yeah, we're also not gonna, like, not pay you for free.
Um, but yeah, so this is a fake job for fake people.
You don't deserve real money, you only deserve fake money.
But also, you have to respect it!
God damn, it's just such a respectable job and you gotta treat it like it's your career, you know?
You gotta really just, uh, you really gotta give them everything.
They're not gonna give you anything whatsoever, but you gotta give them everything.
That's what's wrong with kids these days.
They think, you know, I think living Moss is like not wasting my day and getting something done.
You know, I think about how if I, the earlier I punch in the earlier I can, the later I can punch out, you know, the more I can stack that, the more I can get done.
These kids hear about living Moss and they think about posting, think about complaining online.
No one wants to hear you complain online, says the guy who, like, I think all I did yesterday was complain online.
I think that's all I... I think every post was a complaint.
Hell yeah, dude.
Yeah.
Winning.
Winning, yeah.
W. Um, yeah, Taco Bell's new slogan for their employees, uh, live mas with less.
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
Maximize, actually.
It's actually maximize.
And then people were like, you know, responding to Katelyn Clark, like calling her a dumb idiot.
And she says, you guys know that corporations aren't the only employers, right?
LOL.
So if you live in a small town and work at a small business, Susie, your boss, lost her sister last week, but hasn't told her you, okay, but hasn't told you because by your standards, why the fuck should you care?
She comes in and is having a bad day.
Takes it out on you so you immediately go to the bathroom to blast her for being a shitty boss.
Dot dot dot dot dot.
Get where I'm going with this?
You care more about proving you are your own magical person than and posting on social media than problem solving by saying quote, hey Susie, that's not like you.
What's up?
So let me tell you something about when you work for a small business tyrant whose parent dies.
It will fuck your whole life up.
It will fuck everything up.
You will never get out on time.
You will be guilted into working so much.
They will actually close the business for a week and you're going to take that L. You're going to take that L. They will close it for a week because they have a business not set up to where it can run for itself for a week without them being around.
And you're going to take that L and probably be really short on rent because a significant other of theirs died.
That's a real thing.
And you know what, Caitlin?
That shouldn't be a real thing.
Like, it sucks.
It sucks.
Don't get me wrong.
People dying is always a bummer.
But, like, it should not affect the people whose lives depend on you, you know, paying the bills.
Yeah, it's almost like that shouldn't depend on one guy, you know?
It's almost like no one man should have all that power.
Yeah.
Also, like, maybe they shouldn't have to come into work for a minute, you know?
I love this so much.
Okay, first of all, I just love the premise.
Listen, you guys are talking about this like, I understand you don't like Taco Bell and they're a greedy corporation or whatever, but what about the small businesses who also ruthlessly monitor their employees' social media and won't let them post anything that reflects poorly on the company?
What about them?
And it's like, no, the reason you don't like the corporation is because it monitors your social media.
So if your hypothetical, wholesome small business owner is also monitoring your social media, well, guess what?
That's a reason for me also to not like them.
Yeah, I'm gonna post about that.
I'm gonna post about like, man, it really sucks that I'm gonna get mad that I'm posting about them getting mad about me posting.
Second of all, it's like, oh, your boss was being an ass abusive to you?
Oh, well, guess what?
What if their sister died maybe?
Yeah, have you thought about maybe if your sister died?
And the thing is, a boss will tell you that.
A boss is like, hey, you know what?
What if my sister died?
And you're like, oh, damn, your sister died?
And they're like, I don't have a sister, but what if my sister died?
Yeah.
What if?
Have you thought about that?
Have you thought about maybe you should work harder?
Maybe my sister died, so maybe you should stay for overtime?
Because what if that's what happened?
I was in the back cleaning and my boss came in and she started screaming at me, calling me worthless, asking me if I was effing R-worded because I didn't do it in this specific order.
And I said, you know what?
I could have posted something on social media about it, but instead I stopped and I said, hey Susie, this isn't like you.
What's up?
And then she told me she was just diagnosed with stage four cancer.
That's your fault.
You should have, you should not have triggered like that.
Have you thought, hey, you should have been like, hey, you know what?
Have you thought that maybe my sister died?
Have you thought about that?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
You know what?
Employees have sisters too.
Yeah, I know that I could have maybe, like, refreshed the mop bucket water one more time.
I know that.
But my sister might have died.
Did your sister die?
I don't know!
I don't know!
I haven't been able to check my phone all day!
You won't let me!
What if my sister died?
And I've been thinking about that the whole time!
All right, that's the episode, folks.
Thanks so much for listening.
I gotta tell a Taco Bell story real fast.
It happened the other day.
It was really funny.
Real fast.
Real fast Taco Bell story.
So the other day, on the Twitter, this person I followed was all like, what should I do tonight?
Should I find a new friend to have some anal fun with, or should I get a burrito from Taco Bell?
And I was all, why not both?
And they were like, well, you and I both know what happens.
I was like, get the burrito after.
And they're like, and they were like, uh, I don't think so.
And then they, then they like, then they went on the post, like, maybe don't tell me to eat a burrito and try anal if you've never done it before.
And I, and they asked me if I'd done it.
I said, yes, I've definitely had anal and ate a burrito in the same evening.
Like, that's a thing.
And they were like, well, then we both know what happens.
And I was like, No, you can have a burrito, and the thing is Taco Bell has a bad rap because I think people are going getting the gnarly stuff from Taco Bell.
Don't get the gnarly stuff.
Don't get the weird meats.
Keep it, you know, keep it veggie friendly.
But I was like, I couldn't believe they went on to post like, maybe don't, maybe don't tell me to eat a burrito and try anal if you've never done it.
And I'm like, what a weird thing to assume I would make up I've done.
It kind of sounds like you were speaking over her and not letting her express her truth, her Taco Bell booty truth.
I'm like, no, you can always eat after.
You should eat food after.
That's cool.
Yeah, totally.
Maybe not during, but yeah.
So, you know, Taco Bell's going to come out in the middle for me today.
There's some good, there's some bad, and thankfully we're allowed to talk about both because we don't work there.
Exactly.
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