The horse is also very large, strong, muscled, powerful, and yes - packing. (preview)
We're raising money for abortion access through our Patreon this month. Support the show for only $3.11/month at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult to get a bonus episode every week, instant access to hundreds of hours of bonus content, and a chance to win one of a dozen raffle prizes this month. The ladies from Low Culture Boil join us to talk bookstore drama and Alpha Masculinity, starting with an interesting tweet thread about women, horses, propriety, and leading to a manifesto with some incredible rules about how to be masculine.
I laughed at your joke and cried crocodile tears in the movie with everyone, so I deserve your validation.
I deserve for you to make me certain of my own existence.
What in the shit?
This is utter weakness.
No woman would want such a protector.
Trust me, I know.
How do you know?
I don't believe you.
Sorry.
The goal is to be an amused stone, showing about one-tenth of a normal expression.
So measure your normal size.
Take a fucking protractor, take a compass, and like, do the angles on your normal smile.
Do about 10% of that.
Is this right?
I know, I'm trying to do it too, I'm not getting it right.
Make sure the person who you give the least expression to is the person who you love the most.
The person who you want to spend your life with, don't let that light out.
Because you have a finite amount of joy and you want to spend the rest of your life with them.
So you want to give them a tiny bit of joy.
But what I like to do is I like to wait until they're sleeping to let that out.
So just do that.
Just stay stoic.
Don't express it.
Pretend you're semen.
Yeah, exactly, exactly, yeah.
Withhold, be a withholding dad.
And just keep getting her those Buicks every five years.
The goal is to be an amused stone, showing about one-tenth of a normal expression.
Think slight smirk over childish grin.
A quick and subtle, hmm, instead of a, wow, really?
I don't love that line.
What conversation is this where he would be yelling, wow, really, in the first place?
I'm going up to my, oh, did you hear about the black hole they were able to photograph for the first time?
And the, you know, the virgin overhears, wow, really?
So exciting!
And then, but the Chad is like, hmm.
A black hole, you say?
Imagine being in a conversation and there's a guy somewhere in the conversation doing his little one-tenth of a facial expression, making hmm sounds and retenting his semen all over the fucking place.
That's a horrible situation.
I would worry that I'm about to get shot.
That's coming out sometime.
He's gonna cum himself or he's gonna go psycho mode and kill a whole post office full of people.
Like, one of the two.
When being in competitive scenarios, don't act like a fool or arrogant.
Think of being a calm king, cool in emotion, and not easily impressed or phased, and not like a dancing jester acting like a silly fool.
So this is just what he says in the mirror before he goes to a party, right?
Like, be a calm king.
Don't be a silly jester.
That's just how he cites himself up.
Remember last time when they called you a silly gesture?
Do you remember that?
Don't let it happen again, man.
You're the calm king!
You're the calm king!
He walks into the room and he hears something that sounds like a little bell and he's like, oh fuck.
Gotta avoid that at all costs.
Yeah, just like somebody tries to pass him a pie or something, he's like, I'm not touching that.
I'm not here to jest.
Mom, mom, before I leave, hey, do my shoes look long?
Do my shoes look long?
Do you think it was how long my shoes are?
Man, yeah, this is sad.
You did it again!
You acted the fucking jester!
The other fucker!
They all saw you!
Your heels touched together while you were walking, you fucking idiot!
You know you gotta stay away from the fruit bowl.
You're gonna juggle every time.
You can't do it.
You can't do it.
He knocks it off the table, and he goes to reach for it.
