You see drug peddlers along here all of the time. A bike lane is just giving people a getaway.
Note: We will be donating half of Patreon proceeds to Abortion Funds networks this month. Support the show for only $3.11/mo at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode every week. This week we address the leaked Supreme Court opinion overturning Roe V Wade and explore the right's muted and bewildering response to what is a clear victory for their movement. Also: making fun of Elon Musk on facebook leads to us getting dunked on hard by 100 angry dorks Finally: a city approves the addition of a bike lane downtown, and the local florist isn't happy. In fact she has some words for cyclists in general.
Cycle lane will be, quote, clear getaway for shoplifters and drug dealers, business owners claim.
True.
Why would somebody who can afford a car ever steal?
You know, it's like, obviously I'm looking at the people on foot, people on skateboards, rollerblades, for sure.
Rollerblades.
Oh, that's all.
Yeah.
That's the only reason I have rollerblades is to shoplift.
It's probably the best thing to shoplift on, huh?
It's so sick.
I mean, aside from like a really actual fast car, but... You can like go through like the frozen section and like grind like the fridge and like grab stuff.
It's the sickest.
And you jump on the belt and then you go over the cashier.
Yeah, and then when, uh oh, there's an old lady with a doggy blocking your exit.
You can do a foot grab over that dog.
Yeah, you can do a foot grab over that dog, and you're probably going to land in front of another old lady, but you're going to do a cool little pirouette, and you're both going to kind of dance, and then you're going to skate off.
And then the manager's going to shake their fist at you, and it's going to be so sick.
And you're going to be looking back at the manager who's shaking his fist, and you're going to be like, ha ha ha, and then you're going to turn around and get doored by a cop car, and then you're going to wake up in Nebraska, where you've been sent to work on your uncle's farm.
It turns out the local kids, they don't like a radical dude too much.
No, no, because they're hockey players.
They're hockey players, and they're serious about hockey players.
They think they don't like people doing that kind of stuff on the street.
But you know what turns out?
You're just as good with a stick in your hand.
Yeah, that's a lateral move, my guy.
Yeah, and instead of shoplifting, you learn how to steal the puck from your opponent.
And you learned a thing about Hart that summer, that winter.
This is like, what, a combination of Brink and the Mighty Ducks.
Yeah, Brink, Mighty Ducks.
Or no, it's not Brink, it's uh... Johnny Tsunami.
Johnny Tsunami!
No, what's the other one?
It's called, like, Airborne.
Airborne's the one I'm thinking of, too.
The kid, like, he's like a surfer dude, and he kills a kid on a surfboard or something.
Oh, he, like, slashes the kid on the surfboard?
Yeah, so he gets sent to Minnesota.
He's, like, the only kid in Minnesota with a tie-dye t-shirt.
Oh, man.
Is Seth Green in that?
Jack Black is in that.
Jack Black's in that.
Jack Black's one of the bullies, I think.
Yeah, maybe Seth Green, too.
I think maybe both of them, but yeah, I do remember that one.
Anyways, pay us for this movie, people.
Yeah.
So I love this idea.
No, we can't do any infrastructure.
That'll help the criminals get away from us.
Yeah.
That's so funny.
No, those potholes are there.
Those are commercial potholes.
They actually sustain my business.
We actually depend on the cyclists getting hit by cars to deter them from stealing in the first place.
