All Episodes
May 3, 2022 - Minion Death Cult
01:26:28
I hope that Harry drowns tomorrow in the lake, so that our honeymoon we can take

This week we cover leaked audio in which a Kellog's exec described their union negotiating counterparts as "terrorists" who are "intoxicated" with good vibes. Also, we cover The Moaning Myrtles, a showtunes duo that wrote songs about killing and seducing Harry Potter in that order, and the singer for whom is now the head of DHS's new "Disinformation Governing Board" Music: Exhorder - Desecrator   Support the show for $3.11/mo at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode every week

| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Yeah, and it's like they think like they're doing politics by scolding people for seeing a good movie.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
It's funny.
It makes me like I, I didn't really care either way before, but now I kind of want to see it.
Um, just to be like, see, look, uh, not everyone that went to go see it's a white supremacist.
Oh, pick-me-ass bitch, Tony Boswell.
Wow.
Oh, I'm sure this will make them like you, buddy, if you go see the Viking movie.
People are still responding to when I told Terrence, like a few days ago, um, hey, you know, the white people are laughing at you, not with you, right?
And a bunch of white people have been like, not me.
Yeah.
No, I'm laughing.
No, we're not.
I mean, Terrence laughs all the time.
It's kind of impossible not to be laughing with him.
Yeah.
If you're laughing, he's probably laughing at the same time.
Yeah.
It's like, you know, every night I go to bed, and I look up at the moon, and I know, and I laugh, and I know that somewhere out there, Terrence K. Williams is also looking up at the same moon, doing the same laugh as me.
Yeah.
He probably, like, sleep laughs, and it's really unsettling.
Yeah, well, that's, you know, that's why he wants everybody to go to sleep.
We all laugh together.
You can't pay attention to it, yeah.
Well, no, we can all laugh together on the other side.
On unison, yeah.
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
So stay tuned, we're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're going to go to the desert.
All there in Barbados.
Stay tuned.
Alright, I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
This is Minion Death Cult.
We are Minion Death Cult.
Don't let anybody else tell you that they're Minion Death Cult, because it's us, baby.
Yeah, I mean, it's you too, but it's mostly us.
Hey, thanks for tuning in.
We got a wonderful episode for you folks today.
We mentioned on the... I think it was the Patreon episode.
I can't remember which episode.
We mentioned on the Patreon episode, I think, that I did see the Robert Eggers movie, The Northmen, and I made a joke about it, about how much white supremacy was in the movie.
It turns out I was...
I was wrong to make that joke.
It is a white supremacist movie because like 12 Nazis rented out a theater apparently and saw the movie and took photos reclining in their leather chairs while drinking coca-cola and doing sig heils in unison.
Like also safely in a theater where only they knew only everyone in there.
It wasn't like they were you know had run the risk of uh of uh yeah sitting in front of you know a pick-me-ass Tony who's trying to just fit in and watch the Northmen and you know show that you know you can be inclusive and watch it.
Not doing it in front of anyone like that it's uh it's just in the privacy of their own home essentially because they're renting out a little theater.
Yeah, this is, I mean, honestly, like, this is the right idea.
This is where we should be pushing Comic-Con back into just a small theater away from, you know, the public at large.
Yeah, just tuck that away.
It's funny because the best time to beat somebody up is in a reclining theater chair.
Yeah, because if you miss, it's still, it's comfortable.
Yeah, it's comfortable.
It doesn't hurt your hand at all.
Have you tried to get out of those things while the feet are still up?
You're pretty much stuck there.
You could just pummel them.
It'd be pretty funny.
Or you could just say, hey, your little doggy is underneath the recliner.
Don't put the legs down yet.
And they'd be like, oh no.
They'd be too worried about it.
There's no dog?
Yeah.
But there's no dog?
You're just telling them there's a dog so they stay up and you just beat the shit out of them?
It's an Aryan dog.
It's a German Shepherd under the recliner.
Don't close it.
Don't close it.
And I shot a picture of my German Leopard, my German Lab Mix.
German Leopard.
My German Leopard, my German Lab Mix.
I'm like, look at this, look what we've done.
I'm not doing it just to the white women, I'm doing it to the white dogs too.
Uh, yeah, the guy also brought raw meat.
The guy who tweeted out these photos brought a fucking steel mixing bowl full of red ground beef, by the way.
Yeah.
Like, the worst meat you can eat raw.
I don't know, I don't know, you know, like, uh, it's, it's, if you, well, yeah, it's fresh out of the package, but you leave it on the counter for a couple days, then it becomes something magical.
Yeah.
Well, and that's okay.
You leave it out on the counter and that's how you get your, uh, it's how you get your vegetables too.
Cause, well, I mean, there's plant life starts growing on it.
I mean you probably didn't even really enjoy the movie because you were eating like popcorn maybe, maybe some milk duds and a soda.
That's not what the Vikings ate.
That's not what the Norsemen would have been eating when watching this movie in the theater.
Yeah.
When they go to the theater they were eating raw ground beef that they bought.
Return to tradition, where you sit with your feet kicked up.
Making the most awful scraping noises of a metal spoon on a metal mixing bowl, stuffing your face while gleefully pointing at the screen and saying, that's me.
That's me.
I'm up there.
I'm barking like a dog.
And there's like no way you can get that bowl clean so it's gonna have that like iron smell like throughout the theater.
It's just gonna get worse and worse.
It's so funny because like all these people have you know they're like disgusted with degenerate modern culture by which they mean I don't know and I'm not I'm not trying to throw shade or anything but like people sort of retreating into fandoms as the world around us gets Worse and worse, you know, people becoming obsessed with pop culture and that's sort of depicted as like soy, right?
And these people, oh, you're a soy boy if you wear your footie pajamas and play your Nintendo DS Animal Crossing game or whatever, right?
Which is, it's fine.
I'm not necessarily a fan of Footie Pajamas or Animal Crossing, but the D, you know, what is it called?
Switch?
That's a fine platform, alright?
It is, it's fantastic.
There's nothing inherently wrong with that platform.
But anyway, that's kind of how these people, like, that's their identity, is like, mocking those people.
And it's like, dude, just because you brought raw meat to the movie theaters with your favorite, like, commercial avatar of yourself on the screen does not make you any less soy.
No, and it sucks because they're really missing out, because if they were to just dig at all, they can go find, like, Animal Crossing islands of neo-Nazis.
Like, every subculture, every, like, little, every fandom has those awful pockets.
Every single one has awful pockets.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah, and so, like, if you would have just taken one second to look a little bit, you would have found your little racist home in Animal Crossing.
Well, this is like, I mean, this is modern politics in a nutshell.
It's like there's two sides, you know, we're in a two-party system, there's a culture war, there's a civil war that is about to, you know, break this nation apart at the seams.
And the sides are, it's good to watch a thing, and then the other side is, it's bad to watch the thing.
And that's really what it's really important that we get that down because like, listen, this is we need to talk about it now because Avatar is coming out soon.
Yeah.
So you need to you need to understand these politics now.
You don't want to be left behind in the conversation when Avatar comes out.
OK, that's what I'm not going to tell you what to do now, but.
Well, not on the free episode.
That's why you have to subscribe to the Patreon.
Patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult, where for $3.11 a month, you, like, 200 plus hours of extraordinarily mind-strengthening content is available for you immediately.
Yeah, but what I will say is you cannot flounder on your opinion on that it's good to watch or bad to watch because, you know, if you're saying that like Avatar is bad to watch and then you end up watching and you realize that maybe you've been blue inside the whole time, you can't tell anybody about that now.
Because you've already gone on record, so you gotta get on the right side of history now with the watch the movie or don't watch the movie conversation.
Very important stuff.
I mean, I'm 100% ready to be blue-pilled all over again.
Well, me, yeah, yeah.
I'm still, I'm still waiting for the book.
I think that's going to be the way to go with Avatar.
Yeah, because the book is always better than the movie.
The book is always better than the movie.
There's got to be a, there's got to be a book, right?
Well, there's, I mean, there's probably a series of like on license books.
Yeah.
Well, that, okay.
That's not what we're talking.
I mean, like the, uh, I remember when, uh, What's the first prequel, Star Wars prequel called, Phantom Menace?
Yeah.
I read the novelization of the Phantom Menace when I was like 11 years old.
Yeah, yeah.
However old I was, 8 years old.
I was like, oh shit, some literature, finally.
Yeah, finally.
Some like actual like heady stuff here, you know?
Yeah.
And you're like, as a kid, you're like, oh, okay, yeah, there's fun characters, there's new types of starships, there's some familiar characters, you know, that help make you feel a little safe, you know, you're not just out in the wilderness here.
Still pretty disappointing, even as like a nine-year-old or ten-year-old.
Now, did you read the book before the movie came out kind of thing?
I can't remember.
I have a notoriously terrible memory.
At least I assume it's notorious.
I can't remember if I've told anybody about how bad my memory is.
It's just a bummer because going into the book knowing what some of the characters look like and what they sound like and not knowing what they look like and sound like, the book can be a totally different experience and I kind of wish I could have had that.
Okay, I mean, the racism is, like, the racist accents are really well depicted in the book.
That was, like, the first time emojis were used, right?
With the Italian hand?
I think the Italian hand was published in that book first.
So, yeah, the Viking movie, the Northmen, go see it if you like, you know, brutal action movies about true masculinity, about real Authentic, traditional masculinity, which is abandoning your family to go destroy your body in a petty pursuit of revenge.
That's, that's awesome.
I'm thinking about doing that.
I'm going to probably like, I'm going to vlog about it.
I'm going to vlog it, but it's going to be me abandoning my family, going on a petty pursuit of revenge with lots of brutal violence.
And I'm going to vlog the whole thing.
I would, man.
I wish I could do spoilers for that movie because there's some really funny stuff in there to try and tie to traditional masculinity.
Some really good, especially some Oedipal stuff in there that's just really funny to try and make it your medium for expressing your masculinity.
Hell yeah, I like that, I like that.
Today is, we're recording this on May 1st, which is an important day for the left because it's my cat's birthday.
Very true.
Is it both the cat's birthday?
It's both the cat's birthdays.
They're not related at all, but I did get them on the same day in the same little kennel.
They were both in at the veterinary clinic I delivered to.
I was just counting my days until I could adopt them.
They finally got big enough to adopt and boy how they have grown since.
Tony and Geezer.
Tony, of course, named after Tony Iommi.
Geezer named after Geezer Butler from Black Sabbath.
And seeing as how they're now four years old, I believe.
Yeah.
I thought it was finally time, I thought Geezer was mature enough to finally listen to X-Hoarder's version of Black Sabbath's Into the Void.
I thought she could handle it, you know, and maybe even get something out of it.
And I think she did.
It looked like she was headbanging a little bit, but I looked closer and she was just licking herself.
You know what's nice is like, she's old enough right to where you're gonna show it to her this time, she's gonna kinda get it, but then next year on the birthday, it's gonna probably hit different.
But this is the beginning of understanding it.
So that's good.
No, of course, I mean, happy birthday to Tony and Geezer.
Love those babies.
Love those babies.
Of course, May 1st is also known, in addition to my kitty cat's birthdays, it's known for, you know, being May Day.
Yeah, hell yeah.
Being a worker, Holiday that commemorates the Haymarket affair Which was you know, of course a riot that happened between workers and cops Where you know workers did some cool stuff cops didn't like it so much So they opened fire and then they hung a bunch of workers after the fact Despite there being scant evidence to do so It's been you know, it's been held up as a reminder of how we
How people before us fought for the eight hour workday, for child labor laws, all those sorts of things that are, you know, kind of don't exist really in the same way that maybe they never existed.
But a lot of people work in more than eight hours, of course, a lot of kids being, you know, Forced to work through weird loopholes or communities trying to get, you know, teenagers to fill the gaps in underpaid wage labor.
I saw this article.
This is an article in The Intercept that I thought would be just perfect to talk about on May Day.
This is from The Intercept, like I said.
Leaked audio.
Has Kellogg, so the, you know, food company.
The circumcision slash food company.
Kellogg.
Breakfast and circumcisions.
They are masters of both.
Kellogg's executive described Union as, quote, terrorists, emboldened by social media.
Striking Kellogg's workers were, quote, intoxicated by last year's surge in labor activity, said Ken Hurley, the vice president in charge of union negotiations.
Hell yeah.
Love it.
We covered the strike a little bit ago.
The strike was over a few things, but one of the big ones was the two-tier wage system that the company had enacted a couple years previously, basically stripping Pay and benefits from everybody who was hired after a certain point.
Yeah.
And that's a big deal within unions because as unions have either disappeared or become less militant, there have been givebacks to the company.
And in order to make those givebacks palatable to the union at large, they've only, sometimes, they've only been ascribed to newer employees.
Yeah.
Don't worry union members, this isn't going to affect you.
It's just the people who come after you.
And it's like, well, who's going to be the union in five years?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
It's only going to be people left.
It's that whole, it's that old, if you've known anyone that's worked in or around you, you've heard like the phrase like, oh, old contract?
Are you the good contract?
And like, that sucks.
That's a conversation that has to be had.
But yeah, like you said, they're, they're, they're aging them out.
They're aging the people who know what they actually deserve out.
And it's, it's just poison for solidarity.
Because the people who have, the union members who have it, they sure as shit don't want to give it up.
The union members who don't have it, they want more.
And if the union is running scared, they're not going to fight for the people who need more.
Yeah.
You know, it's, uh, it's not good.
So this was a good fight for them to have.
And apparently, uh, they, they succeeded.
Apparently their demands were met and Kellogg was not happy about it, uh, as evidenced by this audio calling them terrorists.
Yeah.
Which is so amazing.
Yeah, please just, like, continue to strip all meaning from that word.
Terrorist.
Yeah, just make it nothing.
Because, like, there was no act of... Kellogg's wasn't doing violence.
It's not like they were, they weren't even like slashing tires or anything like that.
You mean the Union wasn't?
Yeah, the Union wasn't doing that.
Like there was nothing that could even be close to being ascribed as like terrorism, except for, I guess, just aggressive negotiating tactics and holding, like holding strong on the line.
But that's it?
Well, I'm going to read from this article and get into what were the terrorist acts.
I also love the phrase, Striking Kellogg's workers were intoxicated by last year's surge in labor activity.
That rules!
Their simple minds were rent and spun dizzy at the idea of a cost of living increase.
They were drunk on the idea of, you know, five more days of sick leave.
Staggering around their tenant buildings.
You know, probably striking their wives and children with the idea.
With the idea, yeah.
Spreading it.
It was becoming pretty, you can tell it was insidious.
There was definitely some grooming happening in this, no doubt.
We call this one the Kellogg's Car Bomb.
It's where they put a flyer on your windshield.
Yeah, it's just talking about what you deserve, that's it.
Earlier this week in a meeting of employer-side attorneys and union suppression consultants, Ken Hurley, the Vice President of Human Resources and Labor Relations, How is that job title legal in America?
Oh, man.
Just that's his job.
His job is to not say shit like this.
Yep.
Labor relations.
Yep.
Yep.
What does labor even mean anymore?
What does that word even mean?
Yeah, well, my tool, you know, when I go into these negotiations or when I try to do PR for the company, you know, when I try to communicate with the workers, the way I do labor relations is I spit in their face.
Yeah.
I spit in their face and accuse them of murder.
Yeah, I mean everyone tweets about wanting to be spat in their face, but once I do it in a labor negotiation you guys get all pissy.
Uh, the Kellogg Co.
spoke candidly about a new environment that has shifted the traditional power of employers and emboldened workers and labor unions.
Oh no.
Yeah, cue the ominous music here.
In hushed tones, Hurley described the tactics employed by activists during a nearly 10-week cereal plant strike last fall.
The strike prevented concessions from workers and forced Kellogg's to back off a plan to expand its two-tier wage system.
Quote, in my view, Hurley said, the union leadership at the bargaining table were behaving more like terrorists than partners.
Yep.
Like that's exactly what he said.
The two genders, the two genders, terrorists and partners.
That's actually a Pauly slogan, I don't know if you knew that.
Yeah, sorry, I'm attracted to both.
Oh, okay, alright.
Wow, must be nice.
Just so you know, you are responsible for who you are around, you know?
And if you're condoning terrorists, then I don't know how we can be partners.
Oh, I'm not just condoning them, buddy.
Doing a lot more.
Oh, wow.
No, this is so... The union leadership at the bar, they were behaving more like terrorists than partners.
It's almost like the union isn't your fucking partner and isn't like a diametrically opposed organization.
It's almost like they're not there to agree with you.
Yeah, so weird.
So weird.
It's almost like that's their whole role, their whole reason for existing.
It's almost like this is a zero-sum game and you got mad because you didn't get some.
Yeah, yeah.
It's so wild.
The conversation was hosted by a human resources and labor relations trade group called Q. Hurley said he was surprised by the aggressive nature of the union, which generally has not engaged in confrontational tactics or strikes.
Well, thank fucking God for a new day, you know?
Yeah.
I don't know what their deal is.
Like, we've been doing things like this two-tier pay system for like a minute.
We've been trying to implement this.
We've actually been like, We've been taking things away from them for a while and they've been pretty fucking chill about it.
I don't know what the deal is now.
I don't know why they're getting so mad now.
Hurley claimed that the Bakery Confectionary Tobacco Workers and Grain Millers International Union, god what a fucking cool union, which represented workers at Kellogg's Cereal Plants, quote, really became somewhat intoxicated by other strikes last year, including work stoppages at plants owned by Frito-Lay and Nabisco.
That's what's funny, because they talk about how aggressive their actions were, and their only action was not doing the work for them.
They took the L. They had to take the L so that you took the L, but they had to say, we're not going to get paid right now.
We're going to take a hit on our pay right now, and you're going to suffer for it.
You're the ones who started the violence by not paying them the right amount in the first place.
I still really became somewhat intoxicated.
These are addicts.
These are people addicted to worker solidarity.
I like it.
I think we should talk about it more that way.
It's like romantic.
It's like just getting intoxicated by the notion of your value.
God grant me the strength to tolerate those working conditions that I cannot change.
That's what that's you got to go to AA for this shit now.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah, you got to believe you got to believe in a higher power and that higher power is your union.
Well, you know, they don't talk about but one of the biggest side effects of being intoxicated by these things is IBS and spending a lot of time in the bathroom on the clock.
That's one of the biggest side effects that no one wants to talk about.
Yeah.
What's more, he said, workers at the plants benefited from outside support that hasn't existed in the recent past.
This is like blueprints.
He's like telling James Bond his fucking plan here.
They're literally saying, yo, this shit works.
Plant employees and union activists galvanized support on social media, including Facebook and TikTok, while Kellogg's management had trouble connecting with workers.
I've called them terrorists.
I've called them criminals.
I've called them degenerates.
I'm all out of ideas.
Is it too late to print a box with rainbows on it?
Can we do rainbow boxes for the people?
Let them know that we care about something?
Have you tried calling them white supremacists?
That actually works really well on a liberal Twitter.
That does work really, really well.
You know who else stood together?
You know who else had solidarity?
The Nazis.
Yeah, well that's like Ron Paul's famous quote about racism.
Racism is the worst kind of collectivism.
I'm pretty sure racism is pretty exclusionary, buddy.
I don't think that's exactly a collectivist movement.
Yeah, I do love that.
And in an unprecedented moment, Secretary of Labor Marty Walsh walked in solidarity along the picket line with Kellogg's workers in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
I did not know about this.
You know, under no circumstances do you have to hand it to a secretary in the U.S.
government, but I'll try to avoid talking unnecessary shit about Labor Secretary Marty Walsh after reading this.
Well, but I will, but we have to do take it one step further.
There have been a lot of these things happening since he's been in this position.
And it does say this is the first and only time he's done something like that.
Hopefully he realizes.
The power he has in that and does it more.
Do you know who this guy is?
Marty Walsh?
Only from this.
Only from this.
I don't know his background or anything.
It just said, that's what it was a big deal.
It's the first time that someone's done that with this administration.
Well, it's the first time with somebody in his role.
I don't know where his, but he might come from a union background.
I don't know.
But he's been in this role for this administration is what I'm saying.
So since this administration, we've had, you know, a few labor movements and a few things like, you know, strikes and whatnot.
And this is the first time he had shown up.
That's very cool.
I don't want to knock it.
I just want to say, let's do it more.
Yeah.
President Joe Biden later in December issued a statement sharply criticizing efforts by Kellogg's to bring in non-union replacement workers during the strike.
Come on, these are scabs, man.
You know how we used to deal with scabs back in the day, man?
We'd take a big ol' Chrysler.
Take a big ol' Chrysler convertible, boy.
Oh man, we used to drive over scabs all day.
I didn't want to talk about it, but just so you guys know, old Corn Pop?
Scab.
He was a scab.
That's why I had to do that.
Yeah, we were on strike at the public pool and old Corn Pop tried to cross.
He tried to cross?
Okay, the Biden statement, said Hurley, was basically an anti-Kellogg public release.
We were really getting it from both barrels.
And I was gonna say, if you think that was both barrels, I mean... It's funny, like, to see this heightened rhetoric before anything really crazy has happened, you know, with the actual labor...
People used to fucking throw dynamite for the labor movement, you know what I mean?
So these people are like, yeah, very coddled.
You know what's really funny?
That show, I think it's on NBC, Abbott Elementary.
It takes place in a Philadelphia elementary school.
There is a character and there is an ongoing arch of pro-union rhetoric where they're talking about, like, no, it's cool that they throw bricks at cops.
They say that in this show and I think that's very cool.
Hopefully we are on that track to normalizing that.
That's something that needs to happen.
Allegedly, you know.
Not authorizing the use of violence on the non-Patreon public episode.
This is only in the world of Abbott Elementary.
We want more TV shows to make funny, absurd jokes.
Like throwing a brick at a cop's face.
Exactly, yeah.
Reached for comment, Kellogg Chairman and CEO Steve Callahane, uh, I don't care if I mispronounced his name, not going back, issued a statement in response to Hurley's presentation at Q. Quote, We are just learning about these statements as they were not authorized by Kellogg.
We are embarrassed as a company.
The comments and the tone in which they were delivered do not reflect the values of our organization or our position.
Wrote Callahane.
We sincerely apologize.
We, we, we had, listen, the way we conduct relations with our employees has nothing to do with the statements made by, uh, I'm just reading this here.
Oh, the labor relations executive.
I do like that.
They're like, no, listen, like we don't feel this way at all.
It's also kind of out of our hands.
Yeah.
It's that guy.
It's also, you know, who is this guy anyway?
Yeah honestly, speaking of labor, this is not in my job description.
So I don't agree with it, but it's also not in my job description.
And until you pay me more, this is all on my mans.
It's funny, I meant to say this at the top, but it's so funny to see like...
Corporate executives doing Minion Death Cult level Facebook comments as headlines now.
Because, I mean, this is something we covered every time we cover unions, which is, you know, pretty frequently.
Somebody is calling the fucking Starbucks baristas trying to organize their shop, they're calling them terrorists.
Terrorists all the time.
Or killers.
Or, you know, pedophiles.
Sickos.
Yeah, this guy's been studying.
Or just plain lazy.
This guy might be a listener, actually.
You need to stop giving these guys tips.
I wouldn't doubt it.
Because I could see Kellogg's been like, no, listen, we would love to fire him, but we don't believe in doing that to our employees.
We can't just do it for no reason.
So we're going to go in and keep him around.
We're going to let him keep doing his job.
But this is how we feel.
I mean, I think, what a perfect person to be in that position, frankly.
Absolutely.
Do not fire him.
Don't.
Don't.
Let him keep talking, please.
Yeah, we have a long and productive history of working with our unions.
Yeah, by which you mean bulldozing them.
Not, you know, creating a two-tier wage.
You have this great history with unions such as, like, you know, beating them over and over again.
And now, you know, not so lucky.
They're saying it very much out loud, like, no, we used to be able to fuck them all the time, and they just didn't, they would get a little mad, but we always won, and now they're, like, actually doing the thing, and it sucks.
Yeah, of course this guy's, like, surprised.
He's like, this is, this is terrorism.
Trevor, I mean, I'm terrified.
Trevor Beadleman, president of BCTGM Local 3G, which represents workers at the Battle Creek, Michigan Kellogg's plant, bristled at the description of his union as, quote, terrorists.
This is a company that keeps coming back to the, that keeps coming to the table with hundreds of millions of dollars of profit, yet thinks it's okay to take away from the worker.
That's what this strike boiled down to.
Says, uh, Bidelman?
Don't know how to pronounce that.
Either way, good.
Stick to the issues, don't get into the name-calling shit.
You know, you can do that another time if you want, but in a direct quote, you know, this is good stuff.
The negotiation centered on a two-tiered system of pay for many workers with lower wages of $9 an hour less than, quote, legacy employees.
See, that's how you feel.
Wow.
Yeah, wow, damn, I'm like a Buick over here.
Yeah, they probably got a pen with that, like a nice pen.
Yeah.
And partial benefits for, quote, transition workers.
This was a sticking point for union activists.
In addition to higher overall wages, the final contract signed in December provides cost of living adjustments and a pathway for low paid transitional workers to become full time legacy status workers who make around $33 an hour.
OK, that's good.
That's good shit.
Mm hmm.
You know, Ken Hurley fully believes that U.S.
Kellogg's workers have too much and we should be giving things back to make sure the business succeeds, says Bidelman.
Well, I'm sorry.
Nobody stood up for 20 years and everybody kept acquiescing to the fact that CEOs get paid $10 million and stock profits, he added.
Hell yeah.
This is good.
This is the last thing I'll read.
At the conference, Hurley also spoke in awe and derision of a new media startup that covers labor activism, More Perfect Union.
Shout out to them.
Which brought viral attention to the strike by interviewing workers and spotlighting creative attempts on Reddit to stifle strike-breaking attempts by Kellogg's.
More Perfect Union was founded in 2021 by Faiz Shakir, formerly Senator Bernie Sanders 2020 presidential campaign manager.
Hell yeah, that's really cool.
Yeah.
I didn't know that existed.
That's a really cool resource.
Hopefully it takes off.
Yeah, I mean it is.
Yeah, I've been following him for a year or two now.
Seem to be doing good shit.
This, you know, stuff like this, like Faiz Shakir being the former, you know, campaign manager for Sanders is like one of the reasons I'm not, I have no qualms about having supported Bernie Sanders, you know, even if it is like electoralism or whatever.
It definitely did introduce a lot of people to class politics.
Not saying that Faiz Shakir was introduced to class politics by Bernie, of course, but it got a lot of people involved in that shit and helped redirect a lot of the energy in the right way.
In a more productive way than just trying to get a single guy elected, you know?
Absolutely, yeah.
Some really cool things came out of it, which is rad.
Rare.
And not, not, not, not Positive America.
That's not what came out of it.
A reporter for More Perfect Union Hurley said ambushed him when he went to Washington D.C.
for negotiations.
It's a George Soros funded pro-union activist organization.
They had a camera and a reporter was asking us questions as we entered the room.
Literal terrorist shit.
Whoa, they had an actual camera and they were asking questions?
Well, there was no way- Oh, that can only be the work of George Soros.
There's no way to know if it was a real camera at the time, but you have to- you know, you see that, you have to assume the worst, you have to assume it's real.
I mean, honestly, it's probably a 5K beam and a camera.
Yeah, I mean, even if it weren't, even if it were just a cell phone or even if it were just, like, a toy camera that you bought at Walmart, like, I'm going to treat you accordingly.
I'm going to treat you as if that is a real camera.
Yeah, yeah.
Until the threat is eliminated.
Yeah, you should have put an orange tip on the end of that camera and maybe this would have been different.
Later, during a question and answer portion of the conference, Hurley called More Perfect Union a quote, worthy adversary and very sophisticated.
The media outlet, he added, churns out very impactful videos and they're a force to be reckoned with.
I will say it's really impossible for a company, a large company, to combat the kind of cinematography and emotion that comes out of these social media posts when they're produced so well.
I mean, again, I've become kind of negative in this sense.
I've been kind of a pessimist in this way where I'm like, does this shit work?
Is this shit effective?
Are we doing anything?
And this guy is saying like, hey, you know, actually the social media posts, I know we're a billion dollar corporation, but we actually can't touch them.
There's something about them that we can't recreate.
And that's good to hear.
That feels great.
Yeah, for proponents of labor power, the Kellogg's executive comments simply reinforce the notion that more labor activism yields greater impact and more victories for working class Americans.
Hell yeah.
Quote, after strikes at Kellogg's and John Deere and Kroger and their victory at Amazon, so many workers now take inspiration from each other, said Shakir.
It's called solidarity, baby.
Yeah.
It's good shit.
They're over here like writing poetry for us, like not even knowing.
Yeah.
Well, that was Shakir.
Okay, cool, cool, cool.
I was like, that was awesome.
But no, it's true.
It's so true.
The purpose of covering the stories of working people is to make them feel like they have power, continued Shakir, and that's exactly what these union busters are responding to.
They are fearful and afraid of the fact that workers might be taking matters into their own hands to reclaim power and the rights that are rightfully theirs.
Yeah.
Great, great story.
Great story.
That's awesome.
Like I said, it's just, it's so good just hearing him say like, that this shit works.
Yeah.
This is actually our worst nightmare.
Actually, this type of organizing should be illegal.
This is why I don't sleep.
This is terrorism.
I mean, if we could convince this guy that it actually would be good for him to get on board now, because he's going to need better health insurance for the PTSD he's going to experience after the fact.
So maybe get on board now so you can be taken care of later on, bud.
I'll piss on your grave, total desecration, I spit in your face, for no apparent reason, I'm sick and depraved, society's I'm sick and depraved, society's garbage of a time made, devoted to hatred, unholy war, invited away.
Okay, so moving on to what I would describe as an actual terrorist.
A real one.
We have Biden disinformation chief Nina Dzienkiewicz sang about sex fantasy with dead Harry Potter.
That headline is so awesome.
It's the best headline I've ever read, hands down.
What I love about that is like anybody who kind of has like any hint of Harry Potter knowledge kind of knows this is probably going to be pretty harmless.
Well, I have zero Harry Potter knowledge, Tony.
I'm not cringe, so I'm gasping and clutching my pearls at this.
Well, you know, I got the ultimate excuse.
I have a child, so that's the only reason I know about Harry Potter.
Oh, cool.
You're reading your child this filth.
Great, Tony.
That's a great excuse.
They're reading it to me, and I hate it, but I also can't tell them how to live their life.
I can't be like, stop reading that.
There's, I got a backup, so I bet you're wondering how you got here to the Nina Jankiewicz dead child sex Harry Potter story.
Okay, reading here from the Washington, from the AP, The Department of Homeland Security is stepping up an effort to counter disinformation coming from Russia as well as misleading information that human smugglers circulate to target migrants hoping to travel to the U.S.-Mexico border.
So this is about the creation of the new Disinformation governing board that's now an apparatus of Homeland Security, the DHS.
It's so funny because the best way to spread disinformation is to say that your job is to stop it.
That's the coolest thing you can do.
And I love that.
I love that it's like Russia.
And it's like, well then yeah, of course they got the The woman who sang cringe songs about Harry Potter to be the Russia stole the election from Hillary Clinton governing board.
Yes, obviously.
Obviously.
Okay, quote, The spread of disinformation can affect border security, American safety during disasters, and public trust in our democratic institutions, the department said in a statement Wednesday.
It declined the Associated Press's request for an interview.
A newly formed disinformation governance board announced Wednesday will immediately begin focusing on misinformation aimed at migrants.
I was reading this and I was like, what the fuck are they talking about?
A problem that has helped to fuel sudden surges at the U.S.
southern border in recent years.
Human smugglers often spread misinformation around border policies to drum up business.
Let me read this next paragraph and then we'll discuss it.
Last September, for example, confusion around President Joe Biden's immigration policies, combined with messages shared widely across the Haitian community on Meta's Facebook and WhatsApp platforms, led some of the 14,000 migrants to the border town of Del Rio, Texas, where they set up camp.
Some were ultimately expelled and were flown out of the U.S.
uh so this is the the liberal you know the the culture war liberal anti-russia using russia as a scapegoat democrats creating a new misinformation governing board to stop russian facebook disinformation and also to prevent immigrants from coming to the u.s yeah it's a it's awesome like double whammy because you know you not only get to like you know shit on russia but you also get to up uh border security
Right.
Which is so funny because that was the whole reason we're supposed to hate Trump, right?
Were those two things?
Yeah.
So stupid.
Another funny part of this is that, so when I think of people misrepresenting Biden's border policies, Who I immediately think of is the American right wing who are saying Biden is keeping the, you know, the gates open.
It's now, it is now legal to come into this country and just start spitting.
Just start stomping and spitting and they have to give you a visa.
Yeah, yeah, he's actually building trails now.
Like, lit trails where you can just walk at night now.
Right, and it's just funny that they're arguing that that led to actual more migration.
Because, I mean...
I don't know.
It'd be funny if there were an unintended consequence of the right wing whipping themselves into a fervor about swelling migration actually caused more migration.
I don't have any of the data here.
I don't know if any of this is backed up by actual evidence.
Just funny things to think about.
I do like the idea for sure.
Insert DJ Khaled meme.
You played yourself.
Right, but it also gives them what they want, which is more like poor brown people to scapegoat at the border.
They don't actually get to become American citizens either way.
We don't actually treat them with compassion either way.
But now you have a nice photo to show on the Ingram Hour.
And a thread on WhatsApp?
And a threat on WhatsApp is what they're going to blame it on is those two things.
Yeah, totally.
Okay, so yeah, a new apparatus of the Department of Homeland Security aimed at looking at the Minion Death Commandos Facebook group to make sure we don't repost any cringe memes that are actually factually incorrect.
It's like, there should be an option to be like, no, I'm laughing, we're laughing.
No, this is funny.
Yeah.
You know, it's a joke.
Quote, we are very concerned that the Haitians who are taking the irregular migration path are receiving misinformation that the border is open.
The board will be led by disinformation expert Nina Jankowicz.
Who has researched Russian misinformation tactics and online harassment.
And of course, if you look at her tweets from, you know, 2016 and 2020, it is basically what you would expect about how Bernie bros are just Russian disinformation assets.
You know, it is just screenshot after screenshot of the Wikipedia for horseshoe theory.
It's all that stuff.
Does she have any tattoos?
Oh, I don't know.
That's a good question.
She's gotta have the Deathly Hallows somewhere, right?
Gotta have something on it.
Some sort of cringe-ass tattoo.
Oh, I bet she has, like, the hex code for the Elizabeth Warren green color.
Yeah, yeah.
On the nape of her neck.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah.
Okay, so back to this Breitbart headline that I just, like, gasped when I saw it.
Because I saw her in my feed, or I think it's her, Somebody quote tweeted her and it was a song, what was she singing about?
She was, it's like, I'm the Mary Poppins of disinformation.
Yeah.
And it's just like.
Oh yeah.
It's so, it's so theater-y.
It's so, it's.
Rough.
It's just like wordy show tunes with, you know, semi clever turns of phrase that substitute for politics or ideas or whatever.
Uh, and they quote where they said, what is up with like centrist libs and, you know, loving like musical theater?
What's, what's the connection there?
We've been on this for a minute.
We've been creating a thread for a minute here.
Yeah.
Man, what was that couple that was singing that we covered like two years ago?
It was like, how do you solve a problem like a Cheeto?
It was like a Sound of Music parody or something?
Man, I'll plug it in right here.
He was brave and he was honest.
You're a liar and a wimp.
He had purple hearts and bronze stars.
Your fake bones first made you limp.
He had honor and compassion.
You're a narcissist insane.
What are you not?
You're not McCain.
Yeah, there were some bangers.
There were some bangers happening there.
But like we said, musical theater It's a dicey place, you know, politics can go some pretty bad places and a lot of times it does end up going to like Disneyland Lib.
Well that pipeline, it's not really a pipeline, it's just they're, you know, both sets of people are just old and lame.
Oh.
You know, as you get older, not all old people are centrist libs, of course, not all theater kids are centrist libs, but if you get older, you know, you enjoy things like theater and a flat tax.
Exactly!
You can meld the two.
You enjoy things like theater and nudging the next generation into better behaviors through the science of economics.
You enjoy things like theater and you realize that you're going to need to spend $500 to ticket DC Hamilton.
So you have to have a different type of lifestyle.
But I could never in my wildest dreams imagine This headline, Biden disinformation chief Nina Jankowikz sang about sex fantasy with dead Harry Potter.
And I will give credit to this author, Hannah Blee.
For Breitbart.
And then the sub-headline was even better.
President Biden's disinformation chief, Nina Jankowik, sang about dead child sex with fictional character Harry Potter as she participated in the quote wizard rock band called the Moaning Myrtles, which released several songs detailing such fantasies.
Hell yeah.
Jake Jake wicks the radical left winger headlining the Department of Homeland Security's disinformation governance board or Ministry of Truth yeah radical left-wingers yeah it was apparently a Harry Potter fan huge a little bit huge a fan enough to create a band with her friend Lauren Fairweather in the 2000s a
According to Spotify, the albums came out in 2007 and 2008, meaning Jankowicz was presumably 18 when the first album dropped.
Yeah.
Okay, big thing to bury the lead here when she's singing about child sex with a teenage Harry Potter.
Come on.
Yeah, pretty lame of you.
It's called a febophilia, alright?
Google it.
Google it, okay?
There's a thing called Romeo and Juliet laws, okay?
She did nothing wrong.
Her dad said it was cool.
Yeah.
Videos... Well, Harry didn't have any parents to okay the thing.
That's where the ethical part comes in.
Oh, yeah.
That's where it gets a little foggy, yeah.
Dumbledore gave him away.
Dumbledore signed over papers to Nina Jankowik's so that they could get married.
Legally.
Yeah.
Legally.
Videos have begun to circulate on social media purportedly featuring the voice of Jankowicz and her bandmate belting out questionable lyrics.
However, a brief search on the music streaming platform on Spotify shows a variety of releases from the duo with lyrics featuring the two singing out fantasies including dead child sex with Harry Potter and secretly catching quote peep shows in bathrooms.
Like, the way they're making this lyric sound is like they're saying, like, and then I fucked Harry Potter's dead corpse.
It's like, what?
I went to the first chapter of the book, of the first book, when he was a baby, and then I killed him.
Yeah.
Yeah, etc.
You fill in the blank.
I don't want to become an article on Breitbart.
Yeah, no thank you.
But yeah, it's like, what are you saying here?
Is it all based on like, because yeah, the Moaning Myrtles is just, oh man.
Yeah, Moaning Myrtle was a freak.
She was like a freak, borderline, like, I wouldn't say rapist, because I don't think she had a corporeal form, even though she could splash the water around in the toilet.
How does that work, folks?
Well, let me introduce you to a little concept of something called an incubus, okay?
Well, it would be a succubus, Tony.
Just because you like the band doesn't mean that every sexy ghost is an incubus.
I'm not going to have that conversation because I think I'm still right here, but I don't want to do that.
Incubus is the male one.
Succubus is the female one.
Oh, I didn't know it was gendered like that.
I believe so.
Oh, well, that succubuses.
Let me look it up.
Let me make sure I'm not wrong.
It's okay.
It's okay.
No, I don't want to.
It's fine if you're wrong on the podcast.
Yeah.
Succubus is a demon or supernatural entity in folklore, in female form, that appears in dreams to seduce men, usually through sexual activity.
She could seduce me with a good conversation.
That's more of what I'm interested in.
I'd rather you just talk to me instead, you know?
Okay, now let's look up Incubus.
And Incubus is a post-grunge slash rap rock band from Calabasas, California.
The band was formed in 1991.
That's the genre they got?
Post grunge?
No, I just was spittin'.
Can you give me that again though?
Because I think you nailed it.
Post grunge rap rock?
Yeah.
I should have said emotional rap rock.
No, you gotta say like neo-folk.
Like neo-funk.
Neo-funk.
Yeah, I mean, anybody who's heard those first couple albums knows what we're talking about.
Oh, you mean the good ones?
Like the early stuff?
I like the ones where they were trying to sound like Primus, but worse.
Dude, 13-year-old me thought for sure I was going to be like having so much sex to Science.
Like, I was like, oh, I'm going to have like cool sex to this album all the time when I'm an adult.
Dude, this only happened like four times.
I mean, there's still time.
There's still time.
Right?
I can't imagine that going over well at all.
Well, it's like the one big song from like the early ones.
I'd weigh my toes into the sand.
No, from the early funk songs.
Oh, I don't know.
There's the one that's like...
Yeah, that's the one though.
That's the one.
What if I remember?
That sweet, like, bass.
Just that, just like, that wild, just like... And just, that's, and that's what we're gonna get down to.
And we'll see how it works.
I mean, if you really want it to work, you gotta put on the music video where Brandon Boyd is in a loincloth on the side of the freeway picking up trash and staring at it in a confused way.
I don't know if I have enough incense to pull this one off.
And I have a lot of incense.
All you gotta do is get a hookah bong and fill it half with weed.
I have a bong, but I do need a hookah.
That's what I do need.
Also, I gotta get rid of my couch and just have floor cushions.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
Oh, man.
Funky fucking, bros.
Remind me to tell you... I would say it on the air, but we're going long.
Remind me to tell you who the new lead singer of Zebrahead is.
Or at least a member of the band in Zebra Head.
Okay, okay, okay, I will, I will, I will.
It's amazing.
I should save this for another episode, but I won't remember it.
Okay, I'll try to remember it.
Okay.
Uh, yeah, no, the real definition of incubus is an incubus is a demon in male form who, according to mythological and legendary traditions, lies upon sleeping women.
It's like the exact same definition, but male.
I was right, alright?
Okay, okay, good to know.
I'm happy the band was being more incriminating than, like, self-incriminating than, like, being misogynist.
Yeah.
Okay, so back to this article.
In one such tune, titled Prefix Are Hot, the duo makes it clear that they call her, quote, moaning Myrtle, the ghost girl haunting the lavatory, for a reason.
Oh shit!
So they're taking like the cheeky joke that these teenagers made in a song and trying to call that it's trying to portray it as like being explicit when it's literally the opposite of that you know it's like it's like a it's an innuendo folks Yeah they're not even going that crazy with it like they could have been wild but they're being you know cute and 18 about it.
Continuing to sing about spying on naked children in bathrooms as quote bathrooms are great places for peep shows.
I mean, but like, they're making fun of, because like, their mortal character is like a pervert, because she hangs out in the bathroom, and like, does like, you know, looks at kids in the bath.
So like, that's the joke, right?
That's what they're saying?
They're not saying it's cool.
Um, actually, canonically, uh, Harry Potter was born in 1985, so he's, uh, canonically far older.
Even if I do draw him as a much younger teenage boy.
Yeah, but canonically, yes.
Canonically, yeah.
Yeah, he's legally binding.
Like, this is, Moaning Myrtle is like the female version of Porky's.
Right?
That scene in Porky's where they're all like looking in through the peephole at the female locker room, the famous one.
I think one of them puts his dick in it and it gets grabbed or something.
Yeah.
I can't remember what happens.
I think the gym teacher grabs it or something like that.
It's the much more tame version of that, but of course like That gender-swapped version, it's not called cancelling when you write a whole article about how sickening and disgusting and depraved and demonic it is.
No.
It's called, you're actually combating the cancel culture left by pointing this out.
Yeah, all you're doing is just exposing truth.
It's not cancelling, you're just exposing truth.
Okay, we have to hear some of this music because I've put it off.
Oh my god.
I've put it off for too long, so I'm sorry about that.
I'm gonna play it for Tony.
Have you heard this, Tony?
No.
I'm excited about it.
- Got it. - Okay, this one, yeah, this is the song Prefix Are Hot by The Moaning Myrtles on Spotify.
Oh, this is a fucking intro to home movies.
There's a really neat trick I learned When you're dead, you can walk through I want to say these were like 18 year olds, okay?
So we'll try to keep that in mind.
Try not to be too hard on them, okay?
And listen, I know that some of you out there are some pretty rockin' 18 year olds, okay?
They're not you, okay?
We're not saying that they're bad because they're 18, but you're just exceptional.
Yeah, maybe they didn't have a pizza place that hosted hardcore shows where they were growing up.
Exactly!
Bedrooms and bathrooms are all fair game So I followed some prefects and snide without shame Bathrooms are great places for peep shows Like, how is this shocking that this person became a Department of Homeland Security operative?
No, what is shocking though is that she's still doing this.
That's what's shocking.
It gets better.
The next verse is better.
Death is way more...
Like, how is this shocking that this person became a Department of Homeland Security operative?
No, what is shocking, though, is that she's still doing this.
That's what's shocking.
It gets better.
The next verse is better.
I'll try to skip to it.
Fun with bubbles mostly every day Death is way more fun with bubbles they melt away Prefects are freaking hot in ACs, and you know they call me Moaning Myrtle for a reason.
Yeah.
Went looking for some prefects in the bathroom one day, but instead I found Harry, and so I said hey.
I helped him solve the mystery of the A, and I'd like to solve the mystery between his That is a child, ma'am.
Wow.
That is a baby boy you just thought you were talking, you're singing about right now.
And you think, oh, you think this is cute.
It sucks that they're not going to hear that.
We have to cut that out.
It sucks that they can't hear that at all.
Yeah, they call it twee because they're targeting tweens.
Wow.
Disgusting.
Okay, this one's good.
I hope that Harry drowns tomorrow in the lake.
So that our honeymoon we can take.
You know that ghosts have working that old bees.
But what's better than that?
Just the depths of depravity.
STDs.
Yeah, this way more fun with bubbles.
That's what.
Okay, so sickening stuff, folks.
Yeah.
Just the depths of depravity.
I thought we had reached rock bottom when Blue's Clues talked about gender or whatever, but this is another level.
Also, we do know now that sometimes the undead, the unbodied spirits, they actually can transmit and catch STDs.
And so this is not okay that they're putting these out there.
It only goes from, you can only get it between other ghosts and spirits, but you can, you can get those still.
So that, I genuinely got a laugh out of me when she was like, I hope Terry dies tomorrow, drowns in the lake.
Yeah, so good.
That's pretty funny.
It's funny, yeah.
But yeah, no, this is sickening stuff.
Do you want to listen to one more song?
There's, I haven't listened to any other of these, but I kind of, I kind of really want to.
There's, Okay, And Then I Died is the number one.
That's got 23,000 listens, probably all from yesterday.
That just sounds like Moaning Mortal's backstory, not really interested in that.
There's one called Sitting on the Toilet, which that one's probably pretty good.
Yeah, that sounds like a banger.
There's one called Hermione.
Oh, oh.
Do you want to hear about Hermione?
I think so, I'm nervous.
I think so, but I want to hear it, yeah.
Okay.
Grainger, you're a snot face.
You think you're such a smarty.
You were talking snack about me at the deathday party.
It was bad enough that I didn't get invited.
If you turned into a cat again, I'd be delighted.
Cause I hate your giant beaver teeth.
I hate your bushy hair.
And that weasling kid sure likes you, but we know there's not much there.
Oh, is this Genghis Tron?
They're getting wild there.
They're getting wild there.
Okay.
That was... that's...
I mean, if anything, they should just be calling out for being cringe.
That's it, you know?
Yeah, this is far less offensive than joining the Department of Homeland Security.
Oh my god, yeah.
That's pretty bad.
Like I said, it's pretty funny that she's still doing it.
Because she's got to be in her 30s now, right?
She's our age.
If she was 18 in 2005, she's our age.
So that's what's interesting is that she's able to have this job.
Did she get paid to write that song?
Is that where our tax dollars are going?
That's what I'm upset about.
Fans also like Draco and the Malfoys?
No.
Tonks and the Aurors?
Oh no.
Gred and Forge?
Has anybody ever made like a, no, I mock, I shouldn't put this out there because RIP in respect to the dead, but has anyone made like a Drake-io, like Harry Potter joke?
What's that?
Like Drake-io, the ruler, the rapper.
Oh.
And like, and like Malfoy.
Yeah, I'm sure there's a lot of crossover fans.
White women love, like, they love rap music.
They love like drill music.
They love it all.
It's pretty interesting.
The Remus Lupins.
The bands are just the title, the name of the character.
The Dumbledores.
Oh, is it the Dumbledores?
Like the doors?
Oh, that'd be cool.
The Dumbledores of Perception.
Yeah, we read this book called The Dumbledores of Perception.
It really opened our mind.
Let me read more of this story.
The duo then sings about looking for some prefix in the bathroom.
Setting the scene found in the fourth installment of J.K.
Rowling's Harry Potter series, Goblet of Fire.
But instead, the ghost finds Harry Potter and she fantasizes about solving, quote, the mystery between the 14-year-old character's legs.
Whoa.
Whoa.
The lyrics continue as the moaning Myrtles expressed hope that Harry would drown in the lake during the Triwizard Tournament so Myrtle could have dead child sex with Harry.
That's the stretch they were making because I thought they were just saying like, Myrtle's a dead child.
But yeah, no, like, that's amazing.
I love that.
I love that stretch.
It's so, it's so nasty, dude.
These people are such assholes.
They're such weirdos.
Like they made this thing that's like, you know, cute and like, you know, pervy in like a funny way.
About like a pretty stunted 18 year old girl having a crush on an imaginary book character and expressing that crush through the lens of another imaginary character.
And they're like, this is a child rapist.
Yeah, this is what this is.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like, so you're so weird.
They make it so weird.
Oh, it's fucked.
It's bad.
It's real bad.
In another song, titled Cedric, the two seemingly celebrate the character's death and on Sitting in a Toilet, they sing about nodding their fingers through Harry's hair.
I mean, yeah, that's an interesting thing to do on the toilet, but yeah.
Chill, guys.
This is child hair, Tony.
Oh, this is child hair.
Child hair.
Wispy baby hair.
This isn't fully developed hair.
Yeah, no, it's blonde.
It hasn't even gotten the pigment yet.
My hair is nothing like it was when I was 12.
Interestingly, the band's song, quote, And Then I Died, also contains what the left would certainly consider to be, quote, transphobic lyrics, calling a boy creepy for being in the girl's bathroom.
Oh, wow.
Oh, you know what?
Look, that got a taste of her own poison there.
And ran into a stall and I heard boy talking just outside the door.
Get out of my bathroom.
You're really creepy.
You're not a girl and you don't belong here.
So I thought of this while I was editing and it's pretty obvious in hindsight.
But yeah, it's not surprising that these girls were writing weird songs about the bathroom.
Like weird, like flirty, you know, romantic songs about a bathroom.
Considering who the author of the Harry Potter books is.
Somebody who is notoriously obsessed with bathrooms.
It's funny to pretend that this is what your movement has been looking for as opposed to what your movement was obsessed with from the beginning.
And manifested into being, you know?
Like, literally, this song is because a TERF wrote a book.
That's why these kids wrote a song about a toilet.
Toilet antics.
Not only that, but I wouldn't be shocked if this person who's singing these songs is transphobic.
I'm not saying that she's not.
Well, Breitbart described her as an ultra-radical leftist, so of course she's an ally of trans people.
Yeah, obviously.
The last line in this is wonderful.
It is an ironic discovery.
Jankowicz's apparent obsession with Harry Potter, as many have deemed her the US version of the Ministry of Magic's overpowering Dolores Umbridge.
Many are saying this.
I've been seeing this.
Everyone's like, she's basically like Laura Umbridge.
I've been saying that a lot.
Yeah, I fucking hate Laura Umbridge.
She's awful.
Dude, yeah, people like Mike Cernovich are just, you know, alpha guerrilla mindset dudes are like, this is just like in the back half of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix when Dolores Umbridge took power.
What are you fucking talking about, dude?
Exactly.
It feels like, I know how those kids felt.
She was tyrannical.
I'm sorry, Biden, but I must not tell lies.
Like carving into your own hand?
It's so funny.
It's funny to be like mocking this woman throughout this for being like cringe obsessed with Harry Potter or whatever and then be like, actually, this bears a striking resemblance to the plot points of the Harry Potter series in which Dolores, it's like, what are you doing?
Yeah, also, I just like how they're self-aware that they also love Harry Potter.
Right, but they try to couch it in, oh, many are saying, so many people are noticing this thing.
What's Harry Potter again?
You know, like me, I don't like Harry Potter, but I think just like you should read the Quran, I think you should also like... Yeah, you have to know your enemy.
Know Harry Potter, know your Lord of the Rings, know your Star Wars, you gotta know about culture.
Yeah, that's why when we attack it'll be on, you know, International Wand Day.
They'll all be pointing their wands at the sky and that's when we strike.
That's when we strike, yeah, they'll be vulnerable.
So let's get into replies because they are, boy are they unhinged.
The first ones I got were just straight off the Instagram when I was looking at this post.
I was in the elevator going up to the 17th floor of this housing unit.
I was just like, oh, cool.
Easy.
Paul Raven's call says, this is a false flag operation by the regime.
I can't stress enough that everything the left does is meant to cause division, outrage, and keep the attention of the people fixed on something else than their actions.
You know, you gotta give it to them to have such foresight to plant this in 2007 to record these songs to one day be dredged up later on during the Biden administration.
That's how they knew she was the one when they had to record those songs.
This is clearly a false flag operation.
This is clearly a false flag operation.
There's only one Moaning Myrtle in the Harry Potter universe.
How could there be two?
This person is not a fan.
I also just like it's just saying like that's that was not Myrtle's intention at all.
She was she was just she was just being nice.
Why you got to make it weird?
She's being nice.
She's a nice girl.
Yeah.
This one.
Wow.
This is from it took me a couple seconds to make out what their username actually is.
But it is a yogi has no name.
That is what it says, which is blowing my mind, because that's the last thing I saw.
I read the comment, I saw the picture, I read the bio, and now I'm hearing a yogi has no name?
Okay.
I think we should let the listener experience this the way you did, Tony.
I think that's a good idea.
Yeah, the username is AyogiHasNoName and then you click on their profile and their name is Victoria Lynn as it says in their bio.
I love that.
Ayogi is without ego.
AyogiHasNoName by Victoria Lynn.
I love Victoria.
Victoria's a yogi.
Victoria has a picture of like a hen.
Her like cuddling a hen.
She's trying to do homesteading.
She saw some Fashwave memes and she's like, okay, I get it now.
Yeah, well, she's also doing Aspiring Homesteader, Chicken Wrangler, Cannabis.
Like, this is... Yogi?
What's up?
We are friends.
Yogi has no name.
No, she's got... She put an American flag in her bio and then says Spicy AF and then a little chili pepper.
Yeah, you're right.
I probably can't handle it.
I can't handle it because, you know, I like spicy, but not that American Spicy AF.
That's scary.
Yeah, I love A Yogi Has No Name.
I was like, what the fuck is this a reference to?
This is a reference to something.
I know what it is.
It took me a second.
It's a reference to Game of Thrones.
Did you watch Game of Thrones, Tony?
Oh, enough to where I think if you keep going, I'll know what you mean by this.
When Arya, the youngest daughter, is training with, I think, the Faceless Men, is what they're called?
The Assassins?
You're not allowed to have an identity because you have to shapeshift and all.
You have to take on the identity of so many other people.
So that's how you have to answer when they say, what is your name?
You say, a girl has no name.
So this is like, she's like, this is the bad fandom.
In Game of Thrones, they would never write about something as horrible as two teenagers having sex with each other.
No, no, no.
I also love it because I thought it was like, you've gone so zen that you just are beyond the idea of name and identity.
That's what I thought you were saying.
But no, it's like, no, this is a Game of Thrones reference.
Well, it's already funny because her name is the first thing in her bio.
Yep.
Victoria Lynn, double first name, sup?
Let's get to the comment though.
please.
A yogi has no name says, go buy all the ammo and guns, y'all.
Clapping emoji.
I like fucking rules.
Can I put a clapping emoji in an episode title?
Will iTunes allow that?
I don't know.
We're gonna find out.
We're gonna find out.
Go and buy all... No, because we can't put... Go buy the ammo and gun gel for our title?
I can't do that?
I don't think we can do that.
What if I put quotes around it?
Quotes around it and put a clapping emoji?
What if we say that it's a Yogi Has No Name is saying so they know that... Yeah.
I love it!
This is the thing though, is that...
A Yogi Has No Name, who is the chicken-cuddling, cannabis-smoking homesteader of the right, who is probably like, if you met her, she's probably sweet as pie and enjoyable.
Their energy is go buy all the guns and ammo now, y'all.
Yeah, go buy all of them so that Harry Potter sex freaks can't get any.
Yeah, that's the energy for that.
Maybe we need that fervor for more important things.
Yeah, the House of White and Black versus the House of Gryffindor.
Amazing.
Go and buy all the ammo and guns, y'all.
Not some, all.
Okay, and now we're going into the Breitbart website comment section.
Okay Groomer says, Oh my gosh.
These leftists are true Satanists.
If anyone doubts that after reading this story, they are beyond help.
Yep.
So we're just tying it back to the satanic panic, tying it back to QAnon.
This is very QAnon shit.
It's just all wrapped up in one neat little, I wouldn't say neat, I'd say it's pretty messy but still self-contained knot of grievance.
And it's pretty easy too because, like, it's not a stretch because there was that era and there is that era where, like, Harry Potter is evil.
Yeah.
Harry Potter is Satan.
So, like, yeah, it's already there.
So, it's like, yeah, these leftists are true Satanists.
And now they've proved them right.
Look at what it's doing to 18-year-old theater kids.
It's driving them insane.
Just one more time, what's her job title again?
She's the director?
Of like... Disinformation government board?
Governing board?
Yeah, super super leftist, true satanist, like true satanist, like what the hell?
Like yeah, that's who this is.
Big Dog replies, the National Socialists of Germany were also sexual derelicts.
Nothing is more threatening to totalitarians than stable homes, strong families, and healthy sexual mores within happy parentheses real marriages.
Yeah, that's definitely one thing if you look at like internal German propaganda.
They hated stable homes, strong families, healthy children, quote normal Familial relationships is definitely something they didn't strive for and also do mass genocide to fight for.
Yeah, one of like the first things that they came for was like queerdom.
Yeah.
That's like one of the first things they came for because it was easy.
No, but that doesn't make sense, Tony, because that would make me and the Nazis have something in common.
That can't be right.
I would never.
No way.
That can't possibly be right.
It doesn't sound right to me.
No, because I have like black co-workers.
I love the the National Socialists of Germany were also sexual derelict.
The National Socialists of Germany were Jews and they hated the Aryans and that's why everybody they killed were the Aryans.
Like your mind is so fucking gone.
So backwards.
So gone.
I mean, they're probably going off of, like, the truth of, like, I'm sure that there was, like, a lot of really, like, horrendous, uh, uh, like, sexual violence that was happening.
I mean, there were.
Yes, there was.
That's what they're going off of.
There was a lot of child predation in the, like, upper ranks of the Third Reich, obviously, but it was 100% hypocritical.
Because what they based their movement on was the supposed, yeah, contamination of the youth, the supposed sexual deviancy, like literally the phrase sexual derelicts is something that they, something very similar to what they used against their enemies to do the fucking atrocities that they did.
This comment is like copy and pasted out of like propaganda from the National Socialist Germany.
I mean it's just amazing to what, like I hope
The movement we're seeing right now doesn't lead to something like that, obviously, but it's amazing to see a potential movement being formed based on this idea that you are fighting against Nazism by doing traditional values and strong home lives and fighting against, yeah, just the way your politics conforms and comports to the way you already feel about yourself.
Yeah.
Well, I'm against Nazis and I'm against queer people, so Nazis must have loved queer people.
Yep.
Yep.
That's how it goes.
Enemy of enemy is my friend.
John Wayne says... I've been wondering what he's been thinking about this stuff.
I'm so happy to hear from John Wayne.
Probably dead child sex.
Oh, OG.
John Wayne is an OG.
Oh, yep.
You can tell by the comment that this is actually John Wayne because he's an old guy.
John Wayne says, another Democrap singing praises for raping a dead child in the school bathroom.
Sounds about like the status quo for the Democraps.
Those damn Democraps.
Sounds like the Democraps were here... The Democraps, they're always singing praises for... I love how casually you are about the accusations of this shit.
It's so crazy.
Like it's, it's... Like you sound, you sound crazy for thinking all this stuff.
You sound even crazier for casually tossing it off hand like it's nothing.
Yeah.
Like it is, because you might actually be seeing these words every day in your weird circle.
Right.
And that's what's scary.
You actually are seeing the words every day like, oh this is just the status quo.
This is just another day in the neighborhood.
Like...
I'm not going to pretend that the political elite have, you know, this is all just alleged stuff, right, but have never done anything bad to kids, right?
I'm not as naive as to pretend that.
However, this person's talking about a Democrat singing praises for, like, writing songs celebrating it.
Like, come on, man.
Because, I mean, the only thing, like, worse than, like, an act is, like, doing the act and, like, writing a song about it.
Well, you have to play the show tunes backwards.
You have to turn the studio upright piano upside down, tie the guy in the fucking straw hat and pinstriped jacket to the ceiling, and make him play it that way, and then all the secrets come out.
That crunchy, on-tuned part in the song we heard earlier, that part played backwards is actually a real song, and it's terrifying.
I like you describing that as crunchy.
I don't know.
No, it's pretty good.
I like that description of it.
Linda Lammers says, wait until quote, they do animals end quote.
That will be next.
What?
People are sick of this.
I'm so sick of thinking about what they're going to do next with animals.
What?
Is that the trajectory?
Hey, you know, you know that, uh, statistically, um, people who like abuse children go on to abuse animals.
You know that?
It's true.
Yeah.
Well, that's, I mean, Hey, we got to get the pit bull moms in on this grooming thing somehow, you know, tell them, well, first you don't care.
Cause it's just human children.
They're grooming.
Well, what about when they start grooming pit bulls?
And I ain't talking about a shampoo.
No no that oh my yeah not happening it's scary like yeah wait wait until they do animals like it's funny because it is true because we do care we do pretend we care about animals more than people which is really funny You know, like, this is the Independence Day moment where the dog gets free.
It's like, oh, thank God the dog got free.
One of the thousands of people just died behind him.
Yeah.
Vivica A. Fox, not so... No, is it her?
No, it's not her.
Who's in it?
I don't know.
It's Tyra Banks.
No.
Okay, now I don't feel so bad.
Yeah.
No, it's not.
I think it's Tyra.
Independence... It's Vivica A. Fox, baby!
Oh, wow.
You gotta delete this.
Yeah, you're like clapping for the dog, Scamp.
Oh no, Scamp's the dog from... Scamp's the dog from Spawn.
See, now I'm racist.
Now I'm racist about the dogs.
You just think all Golden Retrievers are the same.
No, yeah, you're celebrating the dog getting free while Vivica A. Fox is just like dying off to the side.
Yep, yep.
Oh yeah, it's like, that's true though.
They do like, well, we gotta stop this now before they start singing about animals.
No, what she's saying, Tony, Linda Lammers is talking about how it's gonna lead to bestiality.
Child, dead child sex.
They're gonna do animals next.
She means that literally.
What are they gonna do when they hear, like, the Blink-182 songs?
Oh, f- Oh, dude, let's create a satanic panic around Blink-182 hidden tracks.
Can we do that?
It's true, it's true.
What's going on with the dog?
What's happening with the dog?
He's singing about it?
Listen, I have a leftist text that hasn't made the rounds yet.
It's called Short Songs for Short People.
It's only 30 seconds long, but it is filthy.
It is disgusting.
And it'll tell you everything you need to know about these people.
You know what sucks is like how there are multiple people right now singing different skits in their head right now while they're listening to this.
We know what we're closing the show with now.
Yeah, it's just funny, it's just like the slippery slope argument, you know?
Oh, first they're doing showtunes about fucking dead kids, next they're gonna be doing showtunes about shit, piss, cunt, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, you know?
Come on.
Come on, man, can't you see where this is going?
I don't remember all of it.
I fucked your mom.
I fucked your mom, yeah.
This is evil.
This explains why we're so awful now.
Okay, last comment.
Hawkeye Redtail says, Biden is most certainly not running the country.
As stupid and a dumb as S.S.
Biden is, he is not this stupid.
Some millennial group of twits is pulling Biden's strings.
We need to give these ass shats.
We need to give these ass shats.
The road rail, the snow vampire.
I didn't even realize how incoherent this was when I grabbed it.
Well, let me tell you something, Hawkeye Redtail, sometimes you think that someone's just really silly and isn't really doing anything and can't be taken seriously, and then they end up creating a cult that you're now a part of, and we laughed at for a while, and now it's still here somehow.
So maybe don't laugh this off.
I love this is some millennial group of twits pulling Biden strings to get the most cringe like performance libs into the Biden administration.
Yeah.
We need to get a Harry Potter kid in there.
We need to get a Hamilton kid in here.
What's what's some other?
I don't know.
I'm not familiar enough with a Shakespeare kid.
There's probably some of those.
They probably got Jojo Siwa in the cabinet.
Yeah.
To reach out to the even younger generation.
What about some guy who does like Fred?
Wasn't Fred a YouTube guy?
There's got to be some kid we know that does, that repeats Fred bits where you just scream into a camera really annoyingly.
We got to get him into like the department somehow.
Do we have, who's the treasurer of natural, of essential oils?
Who's the, takes care of the essential oils?
Oh, I just found this woman, her name, I don't think she has a name actually.
I don't think she has a name.
But you'll know her though.
Yeah.
Okay, well, so.
She's the one with all the guns and ammo.
So, I look forward to hearing more from the newfound director of the Disinformation Governing Board, eager to see what sort of psi-warfare she unleashes on disinformation agents in this country.
Thank you so much for listening.
If you want to support the show and get a bonus episode every single week, as well as instant access to, yeah, like 200 hours of deranged bonus content like this, you can do that at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult.
There is a link right in the show notes, right in the description for this episode that you can click on.
Go there.
And like you might have heard earlier, that's where we let you in on the real secrets.
That's where you hear the real good stuff.
That's where you go from having an idea to committing to changing your life.
This is where you're going to get the tools to learn how to rise and grind and be more effective and efficient with your life.
That's in the Patreon.
That's where you're going to find that.
We have to put all the disinformation in there as well.
Yeah, exactly.
Thanks to this new, you know, segment of the Department of Homeland Security.
So that's where you get it from.
You also help us do this show.
We've been doing it for several years now.
It's a lot of fun and we appreciate everybody who supports what we do.
Yeah, it rules.
Follow us on social media at MinionDeathCult on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
I am at Flildy, F-L-I-E-L-D-Y on Twitter and Instagram.
Tony is at WordIsBond on Twitter and at Tony Boswell on Instagram.
That's it.
Talk to you guys soon.
Bye.
Bye.
Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cock, sucker, motherfucker, tits, fuck, turd, and twat.
Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits, fart, turds, what?
I fucked your mom!
Thank you.
Export Selection