Support the show for $3.11/month at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus every week and instant access to hundreds of hours of previous bonus episodes. This week we free-wheel over crossfit jazz, the death of a beloved pet, and The Kingsman movie before getting into the important news of a skier skiing with a different country next to her name. Also, two trump.win users ask for advice on how to respond to their liberal family members, and the responses are not great Music: Sun Ra and his Arkestra - Springtime Again
Like, I was listening to jazz while I was working out today and people were like, that's weird.
Why are you doing that?
I don't understand.
You know, everybody was saying that to me.
And I was like, I think, I think that's right.
I think you don't understand, you know?
And I was thinking about it more and I was like, wow, you know, I'm just doing like basic routine stuff.
If I really, if I really wanted to take it to the next level, I was thinking like CrossFit is the jazz of the body.
CrossFit is the jazz of the body.
Yeah.
Okay, I just want to remind you before you go on.
It is still February, but go ahead.
Right.
Well, you know, we're talking... Hey, some of the great... Benny Goodman?
That's true.
That's true.
But I mean, I think... I want to be the first gym leader to integrate my CrossFit gym.
Yeah.
I think that would be a wonderful thing I could do.
I think you could really make some progress there.
Have a jazz hour.
Have a jazz hour with nothing but jazz.
And you know, of course, at first we would have to have the crossfitters on one side of the room and the other, you know.
But eventually they would see, you know, I would have some diversity hires up front.
And eventually, like, maybe we could mix it up.
Take the barriers down in the center.
Take the sawhorses down out of the middle of the room.
We're gonna have to get some, like, some plants, though, to be on one side.
Like, some guy in a Punisher shirt's like, Something about that King Torn!
Something about that King Torn!
What is going on there?
He's all over the map!
This is fantastic!
Wow, that guy, you know what?
I wouldn't have thought it, but that guy over there can do jungle gym pretty good.
Pretty good, yeah.
I don't know what CrossFit is, but it's like jungle gym, right?
Yeah, basically.
Have you seen the way they do the pull-ups?
What do they call them?
Muscle-ups?
No.
What's her name?
The CrossFit Senator?
Yeah.
Does them.
They're called- well they like- they like use their momentum of their bodies like flailing to like snap themselves up.
It's not a pull-up at all.
Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
It is.
You do like a sine wave with your body that whips you up above the bar so you can do a dip back down.
Like, you can't do that on a pull-up bar in a doorway, because it will fly off.
It will just fly right off.
It's too flashy for me.
You know, you're like... I don't think we're ready for that kind of showboating in the CrossFit community.
It's a little too, like...
I don't know, what do you call it?
Rhythmic, you know?
Oh, I didn't realize that you were like a standards guy.
I thought that you were... I'm just trying to... I thought you meant like jazz, like as we know it.
Okay, but you mean like the standards.
I'm trying to do it the right way.
I'm trying to take it step by step and bring people along with me.
I'm not trying to, you know, cause any friction.
The thing about jazz is that at some point it did become about the feelings and it stopped becoming about the music.
Yeah, it stopped being about facts, which music should have never strayed from, and now it's all about feelings and, oh, what do you think about this?
How does this make you feel?
People threw precision out the window and they were just like, who has the biggest cheeks?
That's what I want to hear, is whoever has the biggest cheeks.
Yeah, remember when Satchmo broke the internet?
He balanced a champagne glass on his right cheek.
The liberals are destroying California and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
So stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
So stay tuned, guys.
I'm going to show you exactly what it looks like when you're in the desert.
Oh, they're in Barbados.
Stay tuned.
Okay, I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
We are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
My mom, who is not helping me get laid, is responsible.
I'm documenting it.
And Tony's documenting it, too.
Yeah, but my mom is helping me get laid, so I couldn't say that part.
Yeah.
Didn't want to put that on everybody here in the conversation with us.
It's just my thing.
It's just my, you know, I kind of shoot from the hip when I open up this show, what's on my mind, and boy, is my mom on my mind all the time.
All the time.
Always thinking about my mom.
Hey!
Welcome to the show.
Thank you for supporting us.
As always, I just want to say up top, banger last responders episode this week, Tony.
Thank you.
Honestly, don't thank me though, because it was the homies from Animorphin Time who made that episode amazing.
I could not ask for a better guest.
That was such a fun episode.
What a wild episode.
I completely agree.
I don't think you had anything to do with how good the episode was.
Mostly Angela Bassett and the guest.
One of those gentlemen guests was, is a, let me, am I saying this right, an ER nurse?
Yes.
Very interesting, perfect guest to have on for a show that's, yeah, all about blunt force trauma and just extreme happenings to the human body every week.
Oh yeah, I mean, Tyler at ButtNurse.
BearNurse.
I don't know why I said ButtNurse.
Well, it's all part of the job.
That's what Tyler's on my phone as, is ButtNurse.
But on Twitter it's BearNurse.
And Nate, Baitnoid.
I smell like Nate-noid.
Awesome people.
Like, the best people to have on for that episode, because like, I don't know.
Alex, you heard up top, I forgot what a wild episode that was.
I let my poor child watch that.
And I had to talk to my, we went to meet my child's therapist last week, and he was like, so the TV we're watching?
And I was like, I know, I know, I'm so sorry.
It was like a one-off.
He's like, yeah, that sounded pretty.
Someone's eating someone's face?
I'm like, yeah, yeah, let her watch someone eat someone's face.
And he was like, remember when, remember they're eight, remember they're eight years old.
I'm like, yep, I know, that's a total, my bad, my bad.
Don't worry, I, I, she's not seeing 9-1-1 anymore, but I did get her a kettlebell.
I did get her a kettlebell.
We did get a kettlebell so we can work out the anxiety that the police give us.
Don't worry, she's not watching bad TV anymore.
Instead, she's whipping a 10-pound weight from hand to hand above her head.
Yeah, casually, with control.
But yeah, and also don't worry about it, man.
We got a banger episode out of it, so I say worth it.
