Minion Death Cult - Shut up and 1080 (clip)
Aired: 2022-02-10
Duration: 07:20


=== Jazz of the Body (03:41) ===

[00:00:00]  That's cool.
[00:00:00]  And you know what?
[00:00:01]  Like, I was listening to jazz while I was working out today and people were like, that's weird.
[00:00:06]  Why are you doing that?
[00:00:07]  I don't understand.
[00:00:08]  You know, everybody was saying that to me.
[00:00:09]  And I was like, I think, I think that's right.
[00:00:12]  I think you don't understand, you know?
[00:00:15]  And I was thinking about it more and I was like, wow, you know, I'm just doing like basic routine stuff.
[00:00:20]  If I really, if I really wanted to take it to the next level, I was thinking like CrossFit is the jazz of the body.
[00:00:29]  CrossFit is the jazz of the body.
[00:00:31]  Yeah.
[00:00:32]  Okay, I just want to remind you before you go on.
[00:00:34]  It is still February, but go ahead.
[00:00:37]  Right.
[00:00:38]  Well, you know, we're talking... Hey, some of the great... Benny Goodman?
[00:00:41]  That's true.
[00:00:42]  That's true.
[00:00:45]  But I mean, I think... I want to be the first gym leader to integrate my CrossFit gym.
[00:00:53]  Yeah.
[00:00:53]  I think that would be a wonderful thing I could do.
[00:00:55]  I think you could really make some progress there.
[00:00:59]  Have a jazz hour.
[00:01:00]  Have a jazz hour with nothing but jazz.
[00:01:03]  And you know, of course, at first we would have to have the crossfitters on one side of the room and the other, you know.
[00:01:09]  But eventually they would see, you know, I would have some diversity hires up front.
[00:01:14]  And eventually, like, maybe we could mix it up.
[00:01:17]  Take the barriers down in the center.
[00:01:18]  Take the sawhorses down out of the middle of the room.
[00:01:21]  We're gonna have to get some, like, some plants, though, to be on one side.
[00:01:25]  Like, some guy in a Punisher shirt's like, Something about that King Torn!
[00:01:30]  Something about that King Torn!
[00:01:32]  What is going on there?
[00:01:33]  He's all over the map!
[00:01:36]  This is fantastic!
[00:01:38]  Wow, that guy, you know what?
[00:01:39]  I wouldn't have thought it, but that guy over there can do jungle gym pretty good.
[00:01:43]  Pretty good, yeah.
[00:01:44]  I don't know what CrossFit is, but it's like jungle gym, right?
[00:01:47]  Yeah, basically.
[00:01:48]  Have you seen the way they do the pull-ups?
[00:01:50]  What do they call them?
[00:01:51]  Muscle-ups?
[00:01:52]  No.
[00:01:53]  What's her name?
[00:01:54]  The CrossFit Senator?
[00:01:55]  Yeah.
[00:01:56]  Does them.
[00:01:56]  They're called- well they like- they like use their momentum of their bodies like flailing to like snap themselves up.
[00:02:04]  It's not a pull-up at all.
[00:02:06]  Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
[00:02:07]  It is.
[00:02:08]  You do like a sine wave with your body that whips you up above the bar so you can do a dip back down.
[00:02:15]  Like, you can't do that on a pull-up bar in a doorway, because it will fly off.
[00:02:22]  It will just fly right off.
[00:02:24]  It's too flashy for me.
[00:02:26]  You know, you're like... I don't think we're ready for that kind of showboating in the CrossFit community.
[00:02:32]  It's a little too, like...
[00:02:36]  I don't know, what do you call it?
[00:02:37]  Rhythmic, you know?
[00:02:38]  Oh, I didn't realize that you were like a standards guy.
[00:02:42]  I thought that you were... I'm just trying to... I thought you meant like jazz, like as we know it.
[00:02:47]  Okay, but you mean like the standards.
[00:02:49]  I'm trying to do it the right way.
[00:02:50]  I'm trying to take it step by step and bring people along with me.
[00:02:55]  I'm not trying to, you know, cause any friction.
[00:02:58]  The thing about jazz is that at some point it did become about the feelings and it stopped becoming about the music.
[00:03:06]  Yeah, it stopped being about facts, which music should have never strayed from, and now it's all about feelings and, oh, what do you think about this?
[00:03:19]  How does this make you feel?
[00:03:24]  People threw precision out the window and they were just like, who has the biggest cheeks?

=== Satchmo's Cheek Balancing (03:53) ===

[00:03:28]  That's what I want to hear, is whoever has the biggest cheeks.
[00:03:34]  Yeah, remember when Satchmo broke the internet?
[00:03:38]  He balanced a champagne glass on his right cheek.
[00:03:44]  The liberals are destroying California and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
[00:03:54]  So stay tuned.
[00:03:55]  We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
[00:04:01]  It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
[00:04:03]  So stay tuned, guys.
[00:04:04]  I'm going to show you exactly what it looks like when you're in the desert.
[00:04:12]  Oh, they're in Barbados.
[00:04:14]  Stay tuned.
[00:04:15]  Okay, I'm Alexander Edward.
[00:04:19]  And I'm Tony Boswell.
[00:04:21]  We are Minion Death Cult.
[00:04:23]  The world is ending.
[00:04:25]  My mom, who is not helping me get laid, is responsible.
[00:04:31]  I'm documenting it.
[00:04:32]  And Tony's documenting it, too.
[00:04:33]  Yeah, but my mom is helping me get laid, so I couldn't say that part.
[00:04:37]  Yeah.
[00:04:37]  Didn't want to put that on everybody here in the conversation with us.
[00:04:41]  It's just my thing.
[00:04:41]  It's just my, you know, I kind of shoot from the hip when I open up this show, what's on my mind, and boy, is my mom on my mind all the time.
[00:04:51]  All the time.
[00:04:51]  Always thinking about my mom.
[00:04:54]  Hey!
[00:04:55]  Welcome to the show.
[00:04:56]  Thank you for supporting us.
[00:04:58]  As always, I just want to say up top, banger last responders episode this week, Tony.
[00:05:05]  Thank you.
[00:05:06]  Honestly, don't thank me though, because it was the homies from Animorphin Time who made that episode amazing.
[00:05:13]  I could not ask for a better guest.
[00:05:14]  That was such a fun episode.
[00:05:16]  What a wild episode.
[00:05:18]  I completely agree.
[00:05:20]  I don't think you had anything to do with how good the episode was.
[00:05:24]  Mostly Angela Bassett and the guest.
[00:05:26]  One of those gentlemen guests was, is a, let me, am I saying this right, an ER nurse?
[00:05:31]  Yes.
[00:05:32]  Very interesting, perfect guest to have on for a show that's, yeah, all about blunt force trauma and just extreme happenings to the human body every week.
[00:05:44]  Oh yeah, I mean, Tyler at ButtNurse.
[00:05:47]  BearNurse.
[00:05:48]  I don't know why I said ButtNurse.
[00:05:50]  Well, it's all part of the job.
[00:05:52]  That's what Tyler's on my phone as, is ButtNurse.
[00:05:55]  But on Twitter it's BearNurse.
[00:05:59]  And Nate, Baitnoid.
[00:06:01]  I smell like Nate-noid.
[00:06:05]  Awesome people.
[00:06:06]  Like, the best people to have on for that episode, because like, I don't know.
[00:06:09]  Alex, you heard up top, I forgot what a wild episode that was.
[00:06:13]  I let my poor child watch that.
[00:06:16]  And I had to talk to my, we went to meet my child's therapist last week, and he was like, so the TV we're watching?
[00:06:24]  And I was like, I know, I know, I'm so sorry.
[00:06:27]  It was like a one-off.
[00:06:28]  He's like, yeah, that sounded pretty.
[00:06:30]  Someone's eating someone's face?
[00:06:31]  I'm like, yeah, yeah, let her watch someone eat someone's face.
[00:06:35]  And he was like, remember when, remember they're eight, remember they're eight years old.
[00:06:38]  I'm like, yep, I know, that's a total, my bad, my bad.
[00:06:43]  Don't worry, I, I, she's not seeing 9-1-1 anymore, but I did get her a kettlebell.
[00:06:49]  I did get her a kettlebell.
[00:06:52]  We did get a kettlebell so we can work out the anxiety that the police give us.
[00:06:56]  Don't worry, she's not watching bad TV anymore.
[00:06:59]  Instead, she's whipping a 10-pound weight from hand to hand above her head.
[00:07:03]  Yeah, casually, with control.
[00:07:06]  But yeah, and also don't worry about it, man.
[00:07:08]  We got a banger episode out of it, so I say worth it.
[00:07:11]  Yeah, I mean, what's paying for the therapy?
[00:07:13]  Let's be real.
[00:07:14]  Exactly.
[00:07:15]  Tax dollars is the answer.
[00:07:17]  Thank you.
[00:07:18]  Shout out to taxpayers.
[00:07:19]  Shut up.
[00:07:19]  Shut up, Tony.