take a deeper look at how your comments look. Ouch! (clip)
Support the show for as little as $3.11/month at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode every week, as well as instant access to every previous bonus episode right in your podcast app This week we reflect on Donald Trump's victory in the War on Christmas--even muslims and jews like christmas now! Also, we celebrate the first ever Starbucks union, but not everyone is happy, such as people who fantasize about owning a coffee shop. Finally, an instacart delivery driver runs over an elderly couple's precious groceries for having a blue lives matter sign in their yard, police say. What do the people say? Off with her head!
America had gone through a long period where people quit saying Merry Christmas.
It was all Happy Holidays.
You deliberately changed that.
And openly said, Merry Christmas, we're gonna say it again.
Thank you very much.
Christmas appropriation?
with this woke, I guess, a little bit before that.
- Yeah. - And it was embarrassing for stores to say Merry Christmas.
You'd see these big chains, they want your money, but they don't want to say Merry Christmas.
And they'd use reds and they'd use whites and snow, but they wouldn't say Christmas.
- They'd-- - Christmas appropriation?
They were appropriating Christmas? - They'd use the reds, they'd use the whites, but you'd never see a green.
They'd be careful.
They would separate the reds and the greens.
They would be careful not to let them get together, look too Christmassy.
Cowards, really.
I love this.
It's like The Founder, you know?
Or it's like Flash of Genius or something.
It's like a heartwarming story about a man with an idea.
Mr. Trump, how did you decide that you were going to have the nation start saying Merry Christmas again?
What made you decide that?
I don't like this because this is an erasure of my grandma.
My grandma's had the nativity silhouette magnet on the back of her car that says the reason for the season.
I was at her house recently and she has four fresh of those in plastic on her fridge.
Just ready to go.
Well, I mean, there's Grinches out there.
She's probably going to put one on my car.
How many do you think she's had to go through?
I mean, she does live in Southern California.
How many do you think have been ripped off of her car in a fit of passion?
I'm not exaggerating.
I think since she started doing this, which is easily 20 years ago.
Um, since she started doing that, she's probably gone through at least 8.
8 to 12.
That's a real number.
Um, but you know what though?
She's also the kind of person who'd be like, yeah he did bring it back because he wasn't scared to say it.
Um, they were all scared to say it.
See, I think if you're, I don't know, if she was a real one and she did keep it on like enough, you know, like all year or whatever, the car would just fade and you could see the outline of the magnet permanently.
Like the way, you know, your grandpa has the little Fox News logo burned into the bottom left-hand corner of his TV screen.
Yeah.
And then you wouldn't even have to buy the magnet anymore.
But then you would know that you, like, kind of sold out.
You know what I mean?
It's not like, uh... It's evidence that you weren't committed enough.
Yeah, Christmas isn't cool anymore because you sold out.
Yeah, yeah.
It's... Driftful.
Where's that, like, ironic scene kid Christmas sweater?
Where is that?
That's gotta exist, right?
It's on the way.
I like that.
Christmas isn't cool because you sold out.
It says Christmas isn't cool anymore on the front dot dot dot.
And then on the back it says because you're a.
I got to edit that.
Yeah, but that is what it would say and it would be spread between two lines.
