Adding this eplicitly Asian-American muppet actually transforms Ernie. It makes him caucasian.
This week we cover CPAC president Matt Schlapp's war against the woke-ification of Sesame Street by including an asian puppet, and one facebook commenter imagines what it would be like if there were a white puppet. Also: scary times at the UK Aldi, as a mum is driven starkers by a mad cashier who refused to slow down. Support the show for only $3.11/mo at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get instant access to every weekly bonus episode directly in your podcast app
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This episode, we're just going to do a little more lighthearted stuff, which is talking about how Sesame Street is adding an Asian-American puppet to its roster Which, in my mind, is one of the most satanic things I've ever heard.
Gotta be one of the top five most satanic things we've heard on this show is the threat of an Asian puppet.
Just when you think the left couldn't get any crazier about this shit, they go ahead and put an Asian puppet on TV.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, what's next?
Like a talking bird?
I mean, I don't know.
I don't know.
It's sick stuff they got going on over there in Sesame Street.
I mean, I've seen the show.
There's a lot of femme voices on there.
They got plenty of talking birds.
That's kind of their bag, baby.
This headline here is, New Asian American Muppet Prompts CPAC President to Call for Defunding PBS.
Matt Schlapp said PBS was, quote, insane after its show Sesame Street announced the addition of Ji Young, or maybe Ji Young, not quite sure, a seven-year-old Korean-American girl.
The imminent threat of these seven-year-old Korean girls who are, like, this is in, like, Some of the stuff's taken out of context.
Except for the part where he says they call him insane.
That part is real.
He says Sesame Street is insane.
Sesame Street, you crazy for this one.
You're crazy for this one.
What are you talking about?
You're going to have an Asian 7-year-old?
Ridiculous!
Rick and Morty, they have a grandpa shove a bunch of interdimensional crystals up his high school age grandson's ass and Sesame Street is like, hold my beer.
We're gonna have a little Asian girl on the show.
I got this one.
Yeah.
Honestly, I was shocked because I didn't realize that was a thing that hadn't happened.
But, apparently Matt Schlepp does know that hasn't happened because he would have felt the disturbance a long time ago had that been the case.
I mean... This is fucked up stuff.
You would think so.
Like, Sesame Street has been so fucking crazy for so long, you would think that they would have... They've been so leftist, they've been so obviously communist and insane that you would think they would have had to have an Asian person on there before.
Yeah, a couple.
But, yeah.
Nope.
Turned on this first one.
I'm going to read from this article because it's good.
It kind of tells you about the character a little bit and also the puppet.
Matt Schlapp, the president of the Conservative Political Action Committee, has drawn criticism from Asian Americans and others across social media this week after he called for Sesame Street to be defunded for introducing its first Asian American Muppet.
Schlapp, a conservative lobbyist, tweeted a news story about the coming debut of a Korean-American character, Ja Young.
The Muppet has been praised for letting Asian-American children see a character like themselves on screen.
But Schlapp slammed the host network, PBS, which receives both government and private sector funding.
What race is Ernie is Bert, Schlapp tweeted Monday.
You are insane, PBS, and we should stop funding you.
The way he formulated this is so wild.
I don't know what he's trying to say with what race is Ernie is Bert.
The Muppets didn't have race, now we're bringing race into it?
Yeah, we're going to get to that idea a little bit late, so I kind of want to hold off on exploring that, but he's saying, yeah, if you're saying what race this puppet is, you have to say what race, like, the Gargafell puppet is.
What?
Oh, Gargafell?
Oh, that guy's Mexican, I guess, right?
Yeah, what's Elmo?
I mean, Elmo's got to be Italian, right?
Um, I don't, no, he's got, he's, he's, uh, Elmo is French.
Elmo's French?
Okay, alright, I'll give you that.
Schlapp doubled down Thursday on Fox & Friends First.
What?
Did Fox & Friends change their name to Fox & Friends First?
Possibly.
Maybe it's the pre-show for Fox & Friends?
I feel like they're trying to, trying to get some synergy with America First.
America First.
Friends First.
Fox and Friends First.
Right there, neck and neck with America First.
That does feel good if you've been ostracized by your whole family.
You know?
Friends First sounds good.
That's alright.
I was going to put them first anyway.
I was going to put the TV show first before I got disinvited to all the holidays.
Schlapp doubled down on Thursday on Fox and Friends First, claiming PBS and Sesame Street are trying to bring race into Ernie and Bert.
Before this, there was no race.
I I feel like I've seen Bert and Ernie and Akufi, but I might be making that up.
Am I making that up?
I think maybe you're spending too much time on Twitter.
That's possible.
I grew up watching, and it wasn't ever about race.
It was about learning lessons and learning to read and learning tolerance, Schlapp said.
And they want to inject race.
Tolerance for what?
That doesn't matter.
No, that's not important.
Actually, I didn't watch those episodes.
I fucking hated those episodes.
But I know they were part of it.
I just didn't want to watch those ones.
I grew up watching, from its inception, Sesame Street.
And it was never about race.
It was just about hanging on the stoop, in Brooklyn, while a cool guy in bell-bottoms danced by.
Yeah, I've never heard about race.
Like, listen, you don't have to, like, anybody can use a maraca.
You don't have to, like, come from a certain background.
It's like maracas were pretty prevalent in Sesame Street.
And that's why I love Sesame Street.
I love the idea that schlap is like...
Oh yeah, this show that features a bunch of, like, back in the 70s when it started, you know?
This show that features, like, inner-city youths, you know, learning how to cope with poverty and different cultures mixing.
Matt Schlapp was like, oh, this is about me.
Totally.
Because, I mean, that was one of the big things, is that the human cast was very diverse.
And I think it was pretty notably targeted at young black kids.
Yeah, young black and brown kids.
There was a huge Latinx influence on it, a lot of the characters were, and there was a lot of black characters.
I think it was probably unique in the way that it was not very prevalently white.
Um, Matt, why'd they have to bring race into Bebe's Kids?
I just like fun kids.
I just love badass kids.
I just think that's great.
I grew up watching Fat Albert.
And now all of a sudden, they're like... Have you seen the live-action one where they're all black now?
What?
Oh my god, that's... I don't know about that, because in my mind, like... Fat Albert, babies, kids, and like... You know what's funny?
I can't think of white shows, so never mind.
There goes my joke.
Oh, and the Brady Bunch?
They're all in the same universe.
Uh, imagine showing one of these guys Gullah Gullah Island.
Losing their mind.
They're actually losing their mind.
They're not even wearing shoes!
Oh, is the frog black too?
I guess the frog's black.
Oh, I think that, I think that, uh, Binya Binya Poliwog?
Binya Binya was absolutely black.
Me, the black delegation, we'll be keeping Pinya Pinya.
No, see, me as somebody who actually, you know, I'm a racist, right?
But I watched that show so I could know my enemy, you know?
The family on Gulli Gull Island.
And I'll tell you right, the frog was actually not black.
I mean, it could have been black, but what the frog represented Frogs, of course, being amphibians, being able to live both underwater and on land, of course, represented gender non-binary.
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, I can see that.
The frog, Binya-Binya Gollywog, was gender-fucking on Nick Jr.
early on, very early on.
Binya-Binya Pollywog is a byproduct of tap water.
Yeah, we all knew this.
And see, it's fucked up because you can't even say, oh, it turned the frogs gay, because if you're non-binary, like, you can't be gay.
You're automatically poly.
Yeah, exactly.
So, poly-wog.
This is so cool.
This is such a fun thing to get mad about.
Saying tolerance during this rant has a pretty big oversight.
Yeah.
Yeah, getting mad about a Korean puppet...
Let alone, like, a seven-year-old girl Korean puppet on Sesame Street?
Is... That's... You don't even know, dude.
Like, maybe this doll is there to provide racist tropes.
You don't even know yet.
Yeah, it could be awesome for you.
You should watch an episode.
This might be hilarious.
No, actually, the character sounds really rad.
We'll get to that as we go down here, but...
I grew up watching and it wasn't ever about race.
It was about learning lessons about life.
I love learning lessons about life and learning to read and learning to tolerance, Schlapp said, and they want to inject race.
They want to inject a lot of things.
If you, if you've been listening to Big Bird lately, he also went on to jab.
Oh, jab.
Wow.
Nice NBC.
He also went on to jab at the Muppets take on gender.
And by the way, this whole question about gender into everything, I hate when they question gender into everything, Tony.
I can't stand it.
Just take my order.
Why you gotta question gender into everything?
And by the way, well, hey, you got me started.
You put the coin in, you gotta have to listen.
And by the way, this whole question about gender into everything?
One of the Muppet characters had a son, and the son wanted to be a daughter, and they just won't stop with their push for woke politics, Schlapp said.
The Muppets have alluded to non-binary characters in the past, but it was unclear which episode Schlapp was referring to.
In an episode of Muppet Babies, the popular Muppet Gonzo, known for a love of stunt performance, dons a gown for Miss Piggy's Ball, making their debut as Gonzarella.
Man, Muppet Babies was so sick.
Muppet Babies was lit.
I don't remember that episode.
Yeah.
But, um, I wanna see that episode, and who knows?
Maybe, maybe Gonzo is, like, a trans icon.
Like, that would be cool.
I mean, as much as Bugs Bunny would be, Bugs Bunny was in drag way more than Gonzo was.
It's interesting that they're using the non-binary pronoun, they're using they for Gonzo.
Is that canon now?
I mean, I know Gonzo's like an alien, so who knows what gender, who knows what's going on with that person.
Also, if you're assuming that Gonzo's like a man, you're just really getting lost in that nose.
Yeah.
There's nothing saying, there's no point where Gonzo's like, I'm a man.
Well, Gonzo's in love.
Gonzo poses as Sherlock Holmes in the Muppet Christmas.
Sorry, not Sherlock.
Charles Dickens.
Notable man.
Boom.
Oh, okay.
You're not wrong there.
Yeah, debunked.
The woke agenda.
Hit another snag.
Sorry, everybody.
In an email to NBC News, Schlapp did not deviate from his position.
He also took shots at NPR, a publicly funded nonprofit media outlet, accusing the organization as well as PBS of wanting to be, quote, wanting to, quote, be in arms in the socialist movement.
This guy is so stupid.
It rocks so hard.
Imagine being, who is this guy?
The president of CPAC and being like, NPR, PBS, like in a fucking email that's gonna be your official statement to NBC News.
You want to be in arms in the socialist movement.
They have to put everything in quotes because, like, it is confusing.
It's a weird, it's a confusing word because it's not good.
It's easier to put it in quotes than to have to write sick after every single sentence.
Because, like, in arms would be like in arms with.
And, like, wouldn't that even, wouldn't that even, like, almost insinuate at war with?
No, I think he's saying arm-in-arm.
Oh, that's totally what he's saying, but I'm saying that we have to put it in quotes because he's so stupid.
You can't, like, say something clearly.
Well, they have to put it in quotes, so it's clear that they're not the ones that are speaking nonsense.
Yeah, exactly.
Sesame Street needs to go back to the time when a show was devoted to a letter in the alphabet and not the latest woke fad, he wrote.
Like Koreans, for example.
Listen, alright?
We were doing fine before the Koreans.
None of us had to know what K-pop was.
Yeah, I was gonna say, that's what it is.
It's just like, what is your life to where you're...
Because at first I thought it was going to be the Republican Orientalism where it was the fear of the Chinese because of the coronavirus and because of the new diseases, but then this is like a young South Korean girl, I'm assuming, because that's supposed to be good for you as a Republican, but you're so racist that you can't You can't even do that.
I think, I mean, I think the outrage here is just conservatives need something to get mad at because it's not just mad schlap.
It's like, you know, we'll get into the Facebook comments or whatever.
You just, you have to have something to like, you know, get your blood up.
Like what else is, I mean, Joe Biden, he's like, He's too silly to really be mad at, you know?
Like, you can't... He's not really a threat.
Even Kamala Harris, especially Kamala Harris, not really a threat.
You have to have, like... And I mean, you're already getting critical race theory banned from states.
So, like, where do you go?
Oh, well, I still have to see race on the TV.
I still have to see other races on television.
I guess I'll get mad at that now.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't like that.
Oh, uh, K-pop.
Sounds a lot like KKK to me.
I thought we were trying to be anti-racist here.
I mean, sounds like they're the new insurgency, you know?
Time to put a cap on that.
Right?
Right?
Are they a bunch of Oompa Loompas?
I loved Bert and Ernie without the foggiest idea of the racial demographic they may have represented.
After all, Ernie is orange.
The taxpayers...
What sounds like, what race is Trump?
That's what he sounds like to me.
Right, right?
Are they a bunch of Oompa Loompas?
Am I right?
The taxpayers deserve a big rebate if PBS and NPR want to be in arms in the socialist movement.
They need to pay their own way.
So and that's that's also it.
They just want to defund PBS.
You know what I mean?
They want to like get rid of any sort of arts or public funding whatsoever.
So it's just like I guess our reason this week is there was an Asian kid on there.
Imagine getting a check in the mail for, like, 32 cents.
And it says, like, Sesame Street creating character refund.
Yeah.
A spokesman for Sesame Street did not immediately respond to requests for comment.
Okay, so here we get into the description of the character.
Zhai Young, an avid electric guitar player and skateboarder, will make her first appearance as part of a special titled, quote, See Us Coming Together on Thanksgiving Day.
So, she plays electric guitar and skates.
That's actually his beef.
He's a big Nyjah Huston fan.
He's like, I don't think women really have a place in skateboarding.
It's just not for women.
And that's really what his beef is.
And he's like, uh, listen, St.
Vincent had that really weird interview where she, like, snubbed the journalist during the interview.
I don't think we should be promoting female guitar players this quickly anymore.
Yeah, we need to relax with that.
Yeah.
Um, no, that rocks.
I don't know.
Yeah, this sounds awesome.
Like, I love this, like, this sounds fucking rad.
Imagine, yeah, imagine getting mad at this.
It's so...
Why are you mad?
Well, I mean, she plays guitar and skateboards and is a Korean and seven years old.
So, oof.
I was trying to think of some Korean rock bands.
I couldn't.
I don't know.
I probably know some rock bands with Korean Americans in them, but I was trying to think and it was like Japanese bands were coming to mind.
That's the closest I could get.
Yeah, I can't think of any off the top of my head.
If you know any, send them our way.
I'd be interested to hear.
A seven-year-old playing electric guitar is really impressive.
Quote, she's a musician, she plays electric guitar, she's a girl of the very modern American fabric.
He said she recognizes the culture through her relatives, her grandmother through her mother, and through the food she eats and loves.
This show will also delve into other real and yet difficult issues relating to Jiayoung's identity, including anti-Asian racism.
During the special, another child tells her to go home in an off-screen incident.
Friends and adults come together and help her understand that she's, quote, exactly where she belongs, according to a statement about the episode.
I wonder if they'll get into how the U.S.
bombed the northern half of her country into the Stone Age.
That would be amazing if they did.
I wonder if they'll address, I know it's not like, you know, word, like somebody, like mean words or whatever, but maybe, you know, covering that sort of genocide, the historical genocide, that might have also had an impact on her family at one point.
I just want a whole episode where she's sad, like what happened?
Well, like the president of CPAC, he said that I shouldn't exist and called my creators insane and said we should be defunded.
I don't even know how to feel right now.
Yeah, so I don't know.
She sounds like a cool character.
A skateboarding, electric guitar playing girl sounds pretty cool.
This comment was- this response was found by, uh, Lizzie Hall.
Gotta shout out Lizzie in the Facebook group, uh, who shared it in there.
Harley Kimball Womack says about the new, uh, Asian American- the new Korean American Muppet character, PLEASE STOP!
JUST BE A KIDS SHOW!
SHIT!
Like...
Wait, there's... Hold on.
You're telling me there's Koreans at your school?
I thought this was a school for kids.
Like, what are you saying?
What are you saying?
It's like, what the fuck?
I think every parent should be able to decide when their child learns about Koreans.
Listen, you can have Korean students, just don't put it in my face, okay?
This is so wild, like... What the fuck, man?
Uh, this- this show- I mean, at the very least, this show should be rated TVKR.
Uh, for Korean- Korean Ameri- The presence of Korean Americans.
Wow, yeah.
That's exactly- What- It is for kids, so yeah, you should leave it alone.
That's the whole point.
It is for kids.
Mind your business.
It's fine.
I love this.
This show has adult themes like a six-year-old Korean girl who skateboards.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kids got enough to worry about without having to know about Koreans.
Honestly, do Koreans even wear helmets?
I don't know.
I'm a bigot, so I'm not around them ever.
I don't know and I don't want to know.
PBS should be a family company.
Do Koreans exist?
We don't know.
We don't want to know.
Where do they come from?
Do they have families?
I don't know.
Like I said, read this back to yourself.
Please stop.
Just be a kid show.
Shit.
That is what you should read back to yourself.
It all applies.
It's a different connotation.
Uh, doo-doo-doo.
Kareem Sheik says, Because why they gotta bring race into the Muppet Utopia? - Yeah.
And just I want to stop right there like I don't I think the Sesame Street's trying hard for to like not be a utopia.
Like it's pretty like real representation of life.
One of the characters lives in a trash can.
Main character.
Well, different strokes for different folks, Tony.
I think he likes it in his trash can.
Yeah, but in my utopia, no one lives in trash cans, so how is that possible?
Okay, well, I don't know.
Then I guess get on board with capitalism because we're seeing a leftist show tell you, hey, it's okay to live in a trash can and eat trash.
Yeah.
Hey, that's alright.
Uh, no, yeah, I think, uh, if not a perfect representation of everyday life, I believe that Sesame Street is trying to, you know, tackle social issues, the social issues that actually exist.
Uh, because why the, in, why they gotta bring race into the Muppet Utopia?
Yeah, in my Utopia, there's only one race.
That's just Muppet?
That's just... I mean, yeah.
We just... In my YouTube, you don't have to worry about race.
Wink, wink.
Oh yeah, because you just know.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you just know.
You just know that, yeah.
You don't have to worry about it.
It's a non-worry.
Nobody in Sesame Street... Like, we don't have to worry about dinosaurs today.
Like, we've gotten rid of them.
No worries about dinosaurs anymore.
Yeah, oh, abolish the police?
How about we abolish race?
Let's get rid of the quote, dinosaurs.
Yeah.
Uh, nobody in Sesame Street has any disdain for another or even thinks they're different or less than another.
Not even towards Oscar, who lives in a trash can emoji.
Uh, and I think, yeah, once again, uh, Sesame Street is about, like, celebrating different cultures.
It's been like that from the very beginning.
It's, uh, once again, a kid's show teaching, like, very basic children's fundamentals like the ABCs and don't hate people who are different.
Yeah.
Also, Oscar's name is Oscar the Grouch.
He hates everybody.
His whole thing is that he's kind of a dickhead.
He hates everybody, Tony, but he doesn't have any disdain for them.
That's true.
And honestly, he like hates everybody equally.
Yeah.
So it's like, you know, you can't really say anything about it.
Yeah, you could put that on a sticker.
I'm not racist, I just hate everybody equally.
And it's a picture of Oscar the Grouch.
And you would sell one million stickers.
There are many different characters living harmoniously in one setting.
That's the biggest lesson.
Not just creating affirmative action to appease the, quote, woke.
Granted, did that Korean-American puppet earn her way onto the show?
I don't know.
She was part of a quota system.
I wouldn't be surprised.
She had to know somebody.
That's bullshit.
That's gotta be... It's not nepotism, it's puppetism.
I see it all the time in Hollywood.
Um... Granted, I can understand the addition of an autistic character, which I think is good to feature so they can learn.
But nationalities is not, and tainting TV with this is distressing.
Not because of one time, but rather as this paves the way for increased madness!
Listen, you let Korean-Americans on Sesame Street, what's next?
Dogs?
Cats.
I had to zoom in on Kareem to see how old he was and I think the thing is is I think he's pretty young to where he wasn't of age to experience the post-racism after 9-11.
Like, dawg, you should be about this.
You're a minority.
You're a minority that was, like, really disdained.
It is still very largely disdained throughout America.
But, like, you should... Representation's good for you.
Yeah, your last name is Sheik.
I'm not gonna pretend to know your ethnicity or your background, but your last name rhymes a lot with a group of people who were targeted explicitly by Americans because we're too stupid to know the difference between Sheiks and Muslims.
Yeah, and you're a brown guy named Kareem.
Like, you should fucking chill.
But he's pretty handsome, though, too.
He is very handsome, yeah.
He's got that handsome privilege, which, you know, we all have to own up to here on this show.
I love, yeah, there are many different characters living harmoniously in one setting.
That's the biggest lesson.
Okay.
He's got the fundamental idea of Sesame Street down, right?
It's a bunch of wacky characters.
You got birds, you got orange people, you got Koreans, you got, you know, whatever.
All different living in harmony together.
But why do they gotta bring up the fact that, like, they're different?
Why do they gotta say, this person's Korean?
You know what I mean?
Like, why can't we just not see race, but also acknowledge that all the different backgrounds are getting along?
Is that so hard?
Yeah, you shouldn't bring those things into it.
People have other things that define them, like an insatiable need for cookies.
It doesn't have to be where your family's from.
It could just be that you're a giant sad elephant.
You know?
Yeah, then someone's like racist against the giant sad elephant on the show, you know?
So, like, we can learn a lesson about how it's okay to be a giant sad elephant.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, like, listen.
I know that you were mean to the new giant sad elephant in your class, but you saw the episode of Sesame Street.
You realize, like, they're pretty good people.
Hey, hey, Babar!
Where's your crown?
Ah!
Hey, you gonna appear on a black label skateboard anytime soon?
Let me get you a flower to hold in your trunk.
This is elephant jokes all the time.
Are you gonna be prominently featured throughout black grandparents' homes?
Anytime soon?
Hey, we don't need to tell this guy about 9-11.
9-11 he never forgets and that's how you show different anything somebody would say hey hey New Jersey puppet that's not right to say to the elephant
They would say, don't you remember when Snuffaluffagus grabbed you by the seat of your pants and lifted you over that puddle?
Don't you remember that?
Yeah.
How about when he gave us all a ride through the river?
You remember that?
Come on.
No, I love this idea.
It's just like, you have to show, like, it's great, you know, that it's a bunch of different people, a bunch of different types of people living in harmony, but they all have to be the same type of person.
You can't say that they're different people because then you're highlighting differences.
And when you highlight the differences, that kind of makes me uncomfortable.
Kind of makes me not like this character, you know?
And believe me, I've watched a lot of Sesame Street, but that particular lesson just hasn't sunk in yet.
Let's think about being colorblind, you know?
You might be blind and not know what color something is, but once someone tells you what color it is, you can't ignore it.
Yeah, it's like a worm in your brain.
I'm colorblind, but I'm keenly aware of the color you are with the avocation of your voice or anything like that.
Okay, so here's, this is a very interesting, uh, longer post that I found on Facebook from one Jerome Thomas.
This is a picture of Ernie, who has been on Sesame Street since its pilot episode, and Zhai Yang, quote, the first Asian American Muppet on Sesame Street.
Muppet?
I don't think so.
That's a different thing.
Who was added this year.
Ernie was created by progressives in 1969, and Zhai Young was created by progressives in 2021.
For me, this picture really illustrates the inversion of the progressive ideal from one-color blindness to one of racial essentialism.
The original inventors of Sesame Street were very deliberate in excluding real human skin tones from their Muppets.
I don't know, maybe just because it kind of like looks weird sometimes, you know?
The Muppet technology has grown.
Like Xiaoyang, she doesn't have a giant like cartoon nose, you know?
Also, when they did it in the 70s, they did use like racist colors.
Like they wouldn't use like an actual flesh tone, they would've used like a comical color.
Yeah.
And that would've been fun too, you know?
I mean, who knows?
They came in blue, green, purple, and orange.
But not in anything resembling real human skin tones.
Adding this explicitly Asian American Muppet actually transforms Ernie.
It makes him Caucasian.
Something he never was before.
What?
Zhai Young tells Asian children, quote, you are not Ernie.
Ironically, the inclusion of an explicitly Asian Muppet actually promotes the idea of whiteness as the default.
Something progressives claim to be passionately against.
I think that Muppets like Zhai Young are antithetical to the ideals that Sesame Street was founded upon.
I think it'd be really beneficial for a lot of children out there who are not white to be told explicitly that they are not white.
I think that'd be pretty great, actually.
I mean, of course, like, abolish whiteness as a racial category.
It's pretty meaningless.
But yeah, every single child should be told that they're not white.
They should be told, you know, oh, you're more of a... I'm trying to think of, like, makeup tone.
Like a...
Oh, I didn't do my homework on that one.
A winter's bone.
You're not the spring tones you think you are, you're more of a fall.
But seriously, I think it'd be great if a lot of people, if you were to sit them down and be like, hey, you do know that you're not white, right?
You do know that you don't actually benefit from these things?
Putting it out there, you do know that, right?
Like, that'd be cool.
If we could just put him by Ernie to accomplish that, I'd be happy.
Unfortunately, like, the way whiteness works is if you, like, side with white people enough, you just get to be white, you know?
I mean, if you're not black, basically.
Only up to a certain threshold.
Which is exactly why I wish that was a thing that was happening more, because a whole lot of motherfuckers out there just decide to, uh...
Not be what they are.
And we'll definitely not be, not be on the not white side.
Yeah.
So Tony, like, uh, like Joe Biden is telling people to be politically black.
You gotta, you gotta be politically black and vote for, vote for old uncle Joe in 2024.
Yeah.
Um, I love this, uh, oh, because of the Asian puppet, now, uh, Ernie is white.
Ernie is Caucasian.
And it's like, first of all, no, Ernie's not white.
Ernie is Italian.
Uh, Bert and Ernie are very clearly Italian, uh, gentlemen.
I think they're canonically Italian, yeah.
Like, look at the, just like, forget all the, forget all the other features.
Just the striped shirt alone.
Yeah, it really sends a message.
Yeah.
No, they're obviously Italian, but you couldn't... What are you gonna do?
In 1969, you're gonna have a character with... You're gonna have a puppet that's a little bit swarthy, a little bit olive oil-tinted skin.
No, you had to make him orange.
You had to.
You had to do it.
Which is really what eating a lot of tomatoes does to your skin eventually.
I love this, yeah.
Because Zhai Yang was introduced onto the show, that means Big Bird is white.
That's how the show works now.
We didn't know the races of all the others until we introduced the Korean-American puppet.
And ipso facto, every other puppet is automatically white now, which I think is awful.
It's an awful message to send to their viewers.
I do wish they would go character by character.
Because you know there's going to be one outlier and we're like, oh, okay, sure.
They're going to get to one character and they're going to be all Puerto Rican.
And we're going, what?
Okay.
Is that offensive?
Like you're like looking at the puppet you're like yeah like trying to pick out like what's is this?
There's just one episode where like canonically that character did say that they were or had a there's one episode where the character's all bloody qua and they're like what?
Like I guess that character is.
You're like does Grover have a fiery temper?
Like I'm trying trying to think is this racist?
Comments on this were equally profound.
Jean-Louis Railt says, she doesn't look Asian.
How- and by- she like, she looks fine.
She looks like, I guess, kind of Asian.
I don't know, you know?
Yeah.
She did a good job in that.
Yeah.
She doesn't look Asian.
How the hell do you make puppets look racial without cartoon stereotypes of yore that would get you hounded to cancel land?
Well, that's how.
There's a good example in front of you.
No, she's not Korean unless you make the puppet super racist.
Yeah, yeah.
You guys failed at this unless she looks like a 1945 matchbook.
Yeah, exactly.
Like you said, this is a perfect example of how you do that.
I want to include different races in the TV show.
I would love to.
But they would just all be horrific, grotesque characters.
That's the only way I can imagine it working.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
That's why you're not in puppet making.
I close my eyes and I see nothing but Bugs Bunny cartoons from the early 40s.
It's just Bugs Bunny doing different racist tropes.
Did he do a German one?
He just probably did Hitler.
He had to have.
I think he did Hitler for sure, right?
Yeah, he did Hitler, yeah.
Oh, he did the, uh, I don't know if that counts as German, but he did, he did the, uh, the lady with the, the Viking lady with the pigtails.
Oh, no, see, I was thinking of the beer garden.
That's, that's, that's German.
He did the beer garden.
I don't remember that one.
Is he in Lederhosen?
Lederhosen with a bunch of beers and the boobies.
Oh, shit.
You gotta, you gotta send that into the chat.
I wanna, I wanna look at that for, you know, minion research.
I have a cooler one that I drew that I'll send you later.
Did you, uh, sidebar, did you ever draw boobs in elementary school?
And then, like, look at them?
Uh, no, cause I, I, I, not, no.
I didn't have to.
Uh, do, oh.
Yeah, I discovered a stache mad early.
Yeah, you can't bring that stache with you, oh, you, you mean in like a tree, like a tree stump in the forest.
Nah, just like, I just didn't have to.
I mean, okay, I had access to pornography too, but like, when you're at school and you're jonesing for a boob, like, you never just drew a boob in the sand and looked at it?
I might've.
I might've.
Yeah.
Hell yeah, dude.
I might've.
I remember, uh, one, like, this kid that was kind of a dork that, like, kind of hung out on the periphery of us.
He was like, oh, I drew boobs, like, you want to look at them?
And I, like, looked at him and I was like, man, those tits suck.
You're not even good.
And we went and did something else.
That sucks because that kid, like, if he would have drawn the good tits, he might have been a lifelong friend.
Yeah?
Well, I think it's more of like a chicken and the egg thing.
I think the reason he wasn't a friend to begin with is because he was the kind of guy who couldn't draw tits.
Yeah, and that's the lesson that we learned here.
If you're gonna draw tits, draw quality tits.
It was like...
It looked like, I'm trying to think of a simplistic way to explain this.
It looked like a, like a digital C. You know, like a, like a long, like oblong kind of thing.
Like, we can't have any angles on here.
No angles.
Yeah.
Like a, like a pan, like, you know, a horizontal, you know, it was just like, what?
Maybe this, maybe this kid's only exposure was Lara Croft.
Hmm.
These were, these were like, it looked like a hot dog.
It looked like a slightly fat hot dog, like a hamburger.
I was like, that's not a, that's not a tit.
Like a slightly fat hot dog, like a hamburger.
That sounds like a terrible, sounds like a terrible drawing.
Yeah.
Um, okay.
Uh, Bill Mayhew says, did you see the Babylon Bee video this afternoon about Todd, the white Muppet who everyone blames for everything?
With Grover.
I like the clarification that it was with Grover.
But that does change, actually, the whole thing.
That saying, did you see it?
Like, with Grover?
Were you with Grover when you saw it?
Is what that changes it to.
Oh, because of the punctuation?
Yeah.
I just like that it was featuring Grover.
Maybe you saw a different Todd, the white scapegoat sketch.
But this one was the one with Grover.
This is like when we say stuff like, oh, this is like an Onion article.
There's a- I should have joined it.
I got prompted to join it when I was looking at Babylon Bee.
It was a Facebook group that was like, Babylon Bee once again predicting reality.
You know, it was like that, just the dumbest version of that, yeah, Onion joke about, oh man, the Onion writers threw away a piece of paper because of what happened in the news today.
So I went to try and find this Todd, the white Muppet on Sesame Street who gets blamed for everything, courtesy of Babylon Bee, and it was a really shitty article.
About all the things that Todd got blamed for and I'm not going to read it because it was long and stupid but one of them was Todd finds out that his job at a grocery store Kayla or some woman working there makes like seven dollars less an hour than he does
So she then performs a song called Working Class Woes.
This is all a Babylon Bee article?
Yeah, it's a joke about like about how Sesame Street's woke and they've created a white character that, you know, racism is blamed on, you know, the advent of slavery is based, you know, just like a white, you know, it's like what they think critical race theory is, you know, telling white children that they're responsible for slavery.
It was like that in Sesame Street form.
But one of the examples was like... Yeah, a woman doing the same job as Todd made $7 less an hour and then this stupid bitch had a song about it.
And Todd had to listen to it.
That's the whole thing.
It doesn't even say that Todd, like, suffered or anything.
It's just the fact that he made more money.
That's what makes him a victim in the eyes of the Babylon Bee is because he made more money than her.
It's implied.
I don't know if you've ever heard musicals, but it's implied.
Okay, that's a fair point, but...
I don't know, wouldn't you be upset if you found any person making, like why does Todd make $7 more an hour than her?
Also, what a huge gap they threw in there.
Yeah, that's more than 75 cents on the dollar.
That's more than a 75% income.
You're making 15 bucks an hour, yeah.
But I found this comment on that Facebook post.
From Justin John.
That was great.
That's a brutal first name, first name.
Yeah.
All you're missing there is Jingleheimer and Smith.
On the thumbnail for this Babylon Bee article, it had like the Black Puppet and the Black Puppet's son, which I haven't watched Sesame Street.
I think maybe we had a VHS of like the Christmas special where Big Bird says goodbye to a girl who dies of cancer or something.
It's about all I watched of Sesame Street but now I think there's a black puppet so like conservatives had this same utter meltdown you know a few months ago right that we didn't really hear about I guess but in that thumbnail you see Todd a white puppet sitting on a bench and then the black father-son puppet also on screen to like illustrate how white people are bad now because there's a black puppet on Sesame Street.
So Justin John has created a sketch how he envisions the uh the Todd puppet you know how how that might be featured on Sesame Street and he uses the names Trey and Rey for the father-son black puppets.
I don't know if that's their real names.
I don't know if he's just guessing at them.
The only Trey I ever knew was a white guy, but he did legally change his name to Trey.
And also was a big fan of black culture.
So, could go any way.
The only Trey's I've known have been black.
Okay.
With the exception of that one.
So, anyway, all that preface, Justin John writes, Trey, look dad, it's a white person.
So already this rings true of Sesame Street's race-based comedy or race-based programming.
Look dad, we're black, it's a white person.
That was the episode, it was brought to you by the letter C for Cracker.
I remember that, good episode, classic.
Ray is, Ray's the father, says, Sure is, son.
Trey.
What's he doing?
Ray.
Looking suspicious.
If I was to guess, I think he dropped all those leaves in the park.
White people are so messy this time of year.
Trey.
So Trey, the son.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Excuse me, sir.
Todd.
Yes, young man.
How may I help you?
Trey, did you drop all those leaves in the park?
Todd, certainly not.
Why, it's the fall, of course.
If anything, Mother Nature is responsible.
Ray.
Don't listen to him, son.
It's the fall.
It's a white person's season.
He is clearly unaware of his own privilege.
It's much colder for us than it is for him because his skin blends in well with the winter season.
Why do you think snow is white?
Trey.
That's a good point, dad.
You're so smart.
I'm glad...
I'm glad we hung out today, you taught me a whole lot.
As Ray and Trey walk off down the road, Todd looks puzzled.
Todd, WTF was that all about?
This is so- so what's funny about this is this is doing this whole thing right where um this seems really petty and really stupid because it is but he's also saying like black people blame white people for nature Yeah.
Well, I think he's saying black people are fucking stupid.
Yeah.
Incredibly.
They don't know what leaves are.
Yeah.
They don't know what leaves are.
And they also, I guess, blame white people for nature.
Fall!
That's the white man's season!
I mean... Fall is... It's not the white man's season.
Come on.
It's white woman's season.
It's white girl's season, yeah.
It's white... We all know this.
Come on now.
Everyone knows that.
Yeah, what a stupid thing, like, we see a lot of comments that are like, wow, you really wrote that out?
But, you wrote out a whole script here.
Yeah.
For this.
Uh, this was in the Babylon Bee comment section.
It has 106 likes.
So many people thought this was...
Almost as funny as Babylon B itself, if not as funny.
No, Babylon B is going to shoot this scene.
They're going to make the scene happen.
Duh, I'm a black person.
I think winter is racist because it's white, like white skin.
Right, son?
Yep.
That's a thing we all think all the time.
Like, that's why I hate winters, because white people thrive in the winter.
That's why I'm so mad.
Yeah, well, it's because black people are just, you know, hunting white people year-round.
But when winter comes, we can disappear in the snow flurries.
We just hate the camouflage, yeah?
Our natural camouflage.
It's hard to murder white people for no reason.
It's harder to shoot off-duty cops in the wintertime because you can't see them.
Listen, if that Travis Scott concert had happened during the winter, he wouldn't have been able to murder that 10-year-old white boy in his audience.
Oh man, yeah.
I was gonna go do some murder, but then there was a flurry.
There was a snow flurry and they all got away from me.
And I love Todd.
Todd's just like, WTF was all that about?
And he's kind of like our audience stand-in.
Because we're also reading this.
We're also very confused.
What the heck?
Those guys seemed crazy.
What a wild accusation to make.
Uh, that's it for the, uh, the Korean, uh, Korean-American puppet, uh, who, uh, who's bad.
This guy ruined America.
Yeah, she's bad.
Real bad.
Um, moving on, uh... Can we take a real quick break?
Yeah.
Cool.
Okay, move... I'm so over this feeling.
Yeah, what?
I'm just so over this feeling.
Oh, feeling sick?
Yeah.
Are you sick?
Is that what's going on?
Well, I have like a, like a throat and ear infection.
Oh, so it's an infection.
Yeah.
And didn't you say you found a one simple trick for coping with it?
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let me guess.
Is it smoking weed?
I wish.
No, smoking weed does not help.
It's actually not good.
Um, no, uh, olive oil, olive oil in your ear.
Okay.
I've always heard about that and I didn't believe it at all and I literally didn't go to sleep last night until 6 a.m.
like I it was awful I just could not and um my mom called me like later on in the day I finally got like two hours of sleep and um she's like yeah just put a little olive oil in your ear a little little warm olive oil and It actually worked so well.
Now, I don't know if this works for non-Italians, but it worked for me.
And I cannot believe it worked so well.
Yeah, it's like Superman finally catching another glimpse of the sun after a cloudy day.
Yeah, exactly.
I was like, this is like instant.
It's not a salve.
I'm not still tender or whatever.
Not over the woods yet.
You're going to need a few more doses of the ol' olive juice.
Yeah, the ol' olive oil.
But it has to be the good stuff.
But yeah, I can't believe how well it worked.
It's working.
I think the reason it worked is because you're also an extra virgin.
That's exactly it.
Which I couldn't have done without the help of the Lord Jesus Christ, who sent me back and allowed me to be reborn as one.
Who was, as we all know, Italian.
Italian, yeah.
Comes full circle.
So we have an equally important story here as the evil Korean-American puppet.
And it might, bear with me here, because I'm going to experience at least seven pop-ups while I'm trying to read this story.
But this comes courtesy Of the Gazette Live.co.uk.
So we're traversing across the pond for this one.
Mum says speed of Aldi cashier left her crying and shaking as food piled high.
So let me translate that for American audiences.
Mom means mom.
Aldi means cheap grocery store.
And then the rest is pretty... Food still means food, if you could call it that.
But... Customers in the store were left gawping during the tillside confrontation.
Yeah.
I would be too if this transpired in front of me.
A Teesside mum says she has been left traumatized by the, quote, aggressive approach of an Aldi cashier and the ferocious speed of the supermarket's conveyor belts.
That's like... Just like throwing food at her?
Yeah.
Imagine the Lucy, the I Love Lucy sketch, but with ominous music playing over the background with much less, you know, they, they really tipped, they really showed their hand with that one when they put the, you know, what, I don't know, what's, what's the classic music where it's like, The Flight of the Bumblebee.
Imagine if it was Sting of the Wasp or something.
Something a little more dark.
More real, honestly.
Ride of the Valkyries.
I believe Aldi is a German brand.
Picture some fucking fascist orchestra playing over this incident and you'll get the picture.
You'll understand what really transpired.
Um, the shopper was minding her own business.
Completing her weekly shop with her three young children when she became embroiled in a tense confrontation with a quote, disgracefully rude staff member.
Yes.
Just an innocent shopper.
Just, you know, happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Like, okay, the minding your own business part's funny because so, for those who don't know, at Aldi, you bag your own groceries.
That's the whole thing.
Like, they don't have anyone bagged for you.
You bag your own groceries.
And so, this is not a surprise to this mum.
His mom is going through the checkout stand and knows it's going to be happening.
But apparently it happened so ferociously that it was disgracefully rude.
Well, I'll cut to the chase right now.
I mean, the whole article's funny, but I'll let everybody in on something that I learned, you know, reading these comments and reading about the story.
I've never been to an Aldi, actually.
We have gross out.
Up here by me.
That's where I go.
You have Aldi here.
They're fine.
I've heard of them.
Oh, I've heard.
But we have Grocery Outlet.
You bag your own groceries at a second location.
You take them over to like a bar on the window and that's where you can take your time putting, you know, the eggs on top or separating your bleach from, you know, your panties or whatever you're buying there.
Same thing at Aldi, yeah.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
I've never been to an Aldi.
At gross out, they treat you right.
They bag your stuff for you.
Aldi, you have to go to the bagging area, okay?
So, the shopper was minding her own business.
It really sounds like she wasn't.
It sounds like she was neglecting her business, which was to get everything into her fucking cart and then move out of the way.
Or use your three kids to do it for you.
I love this news.
This story rolls so hard because this happens literally every day to every store.
Every single working person has a story about this, about a customer left crying and shaking because they had just a traumatic encounter with a clerk who was trying to do their job.
Oh yeah, for sure.
Undoubtedly, yeah.
I love that a news outlet is finally printing the customer's side of the story, because Yelp reviews are all like this, customer complaints in person are all like this, but it's something you rarely Get to see, you know, everybody feels like, oh, I got bad service or I got treated poorly and maybe you have left a bad Yelp review or whatever.
But this sort of hysteria, this sort of customer hysteria absolutely exists regularly and you rarely get to see it represented in like mainstream media.
Yeah.
And I love the news here taking it this seriously.
Like, you know, printing out exact verbatim, you know, the drama that unfolded in this Aldi.
She became embroiled in a tense confrontation with a, quote, disgracefully rude staff member.
She claims the worker refused to slow his scanning, even as food fell from the packing area onto the floor, quote, like a slot machine.
It all sounds like you have a shit ton of groceries.
You got a lot of groceries here.
This was a slot machine, but instead of money, it was paying out trouble.
Furiously.
Yeah, like picture like a behind the music about this.
It was, this was, it was like a slot machine, but the slot machine from hell.
Leaving customers in the Gweezborough store, quote, gopping.
Uh, the 35 year old mom maintains that she was loading her shopping quote, as quickly as possible.
And I like that that's in quotes too.
They're not going to go on record saying, reporting that this woman was actually loading her groceries as quickly.
We all know she could have like, sped it up a little bit.
But that the worker was taking no prisoners and quote, continuously scanning and quote, piling the food high.
The more they talk about it, the more they talk about what an asshole this worker is, the more I love this worker.
This worker rocks so hard.
And it's funny, I think the newspaper is on the worker's side.
I think this is written very artfully.
I think this is intentional.
Soon, quote, huge towers of groceries loomed perilously over the edge of the packing area as she, quote, frantically reached to place each item in her bags.
There you go, that's the problem.
She's trying to bag it right there.
Exactly.
People in the comments were clowning on her.
Like, what are you doing trying to bag your groceries there?
That's not what that spot's for.
Get out of the way.
I love, oh, uh, the groceries loomed perilously over the edge and she frantically reached to place each item in her bag and it's just like, I'm picturing like a close up black and white shot of cans and, and uh, you know, uh, vegetables, bags, just like tumbling in slow motion over the edge.
It's like falling and like it bounces on the floor and that's when it hits slow motion.
Yeah, boom.
Can of beans?
Boom.
He could see my struggle, and when a tin finally fell, I began crying and shaking, she explained.
Can you imagine how annoying this shit would be?
Not only is this woman, like, is this mom taking forever because she decided she wants to bag her groceries there.
She's too good to go to the second location.
Now she's going to start crying and shaking.
And remember, they're still scanning, so this woman hasn't even paid yet.
Quote, I knelt to the floor to pick up the food.
This is like Boondock Saints Michael Bay shit.
Just like kneeling to the floor in slow motion while a beam of light pierces through the window.
I knelt to the floor to pick up the food while simultaneously trying to watch my children, who are aged 2, 3, and 7.
I'm not throwing anything at you.
You're a liar.
to please stop scanning through more food and that it felt like he was throwing the items at me.
She said his response was, quote, blunt and aggressive as he said that she, quote, obviously wasn't packing quickly enough and that she was, quote, a liar for her accusations.
I'm not throwing anything at you.
You're a liar.
I love that.
You're obviously not packing quickly enough.
Things are falling to the floor.
That's not a question.
No, yeah.
It's the next logical step.
Pack faster.
Yeah, all you have to do is move it into your cart.
That's all you gotta do.
Just put your cart at the end of the belt, dumbass.
Yeah, easy.
At this point, another- Also, like you said, you have three kids.
You have three kids.
They can help.
At this point, another Aldi worker swooped in to quote, diffuse the dense supermarket altercation before the cashier finally quote, walked away.
Quote, the other worker was very lovely and understanding, said the mom.
But the incident has personally knocked my confidence.
Quote, shopping with three children can be challenging enough without suffering panic and anxiety at the checkout and leaving the store in tears.
Yeah, if you got bad kids.
Listen, this whole incident has given me imposter syndrome.
Because I felt like I was a good bagger.
I felt like I was an adequate bagger.
But now I've been left feeling like I'm not who I am.
I'm not who society says I am.
Yeah.
I used to be able to bag pretty fast.
Actually pretty reasonably fast.
And now you kids with your new technologies, you're literally stacking them on me?
Do you have anxiety and depression or are you just a formerly gifted bagger?
No one batted an eye when I would just bag a rump like that back in the days.
I miss a step and I, you know, I'm nobody.
She has since reported the incident to Aldi's customer care team, who told her they have raised the issue with the area manager.
Having shopped at the German chain for the last 10 years due to its reasonable prices, she now feels, quote, worried about entering her local store.
She doesn't even feel safe anymore.
Yeah, poor thing.
You poor, like, Aldi's special, you know?
And they took that away from me.
Listen, I worked at Pizza Hut when I was 16, cutting and prepping orders.
Until you've had a pizza fall face down on a greasy black tile floor, I don't think you have much room to talk about anxiety or worry.
Yeah, what you're experiencing is not the same thing.
Also, imagine telling a business to tell the people, hey, you gotta slow down.
You're working, you're doing, you're too efficient.
That's never gonna happen.
I wouldn't be surprised if they did just like fire this cashier, this guy, you know, even though he's probably like the best employee they have, you know, but they can, it's fine.
They could find another one.
The thing is, is like, everybody thought this was funny.
Like, I don't think anybody- there was like very few- I mean, we have comments from people who took it seriously, but like, the overwhelming majority of people were like, what the fuck is wrong with this woman?
Like, I'm sorry you got anxiety from the grocery store.
Maybe you got some other stuff going on.
Yeah, whatever happened in the grocery store is not the problem.
That's not the issue.
Normally, I pop into Aldi a couple times a week, but I've been putting it off.
Please, Aldi, my children are so hungry.
We're starving.
Please fire the cashier so I can buy groceries again.
Yeah, why do you have to go to Aldi?
Quote, I'll have to face it at some stage, but the experience has really unnerved me, and I'll be steering well clear of that particular employee.
That rules.
Win-win.
Yeah.
Win-win, baby.
I'm pretty sure they're going to avoid you too.
They're going to see you get in the line.
They're just going to look down the line and go, nope.
Next.
Next one.
We're closed.
We're closed.
Yeah.
Let's get to comments here.
AxeAcidRainTees says, there's a simple solution.
Avoid these European chains.
We voted for Brexit.
Shop in a British supermarket.
Tesco are just as cheap.
Any for the basics.
Honestly, I don't see why I voted for Brexit.
I don't, it's very funny to say avoid these European chains when you're fucking, you're British.
Yeah, well, that's why.
That's why they did it.
Like, if you're delineating between European and British, I'm gonna side with the Europeans.
Like, if that's, if that's the, you know, that's the distinction you want to make, like, you don't look that good.
Yeah, no question about it.
Like, you're definitely European, but if you want to throw down, like, I'm siding with a bunch of other countries before you.
Sorry, yeah.
The math is pretty easy there.
I love that.
Avoid these European chains.
You know, these lesser chains.
We voted for Britain.
Shop in a proper supermarket.
A British supermarket.
A Tesco!
A Tesco?
They're just as cheap as Aldi.
A Tesco just sounds like a gas station to me.
That's what we call our gas stations over here.
They don't even have gas stations over there.
They have petrol stations, so... Ooh.
You know, come on.
Good call.
T-Rex the Big Cheese Wannabe.
That's a fucking... That's an endearing username.
I like it.
It's cute.
T-Rex the Big Cheese Wannabe.
So Big Cheese, like head honcho, wannabe.
So not actually the Big Cheese.
T-Rex.
That's me.
I'm T-Rex aspiring above my class.
Shoot for the stars and land on the moon, you know?
Yeah.
T-Rex the big cheese wannabe says, vote Labor.
They will slow it down for your flower.
Yeah, maybe.
It's like, is he saying, listen, they wouldn't be so speedy if they had more rights?
I think this is a diss on labor.
Totally.
I think it's a diss on the woman by saying for your flat, it's either a typo or he's saying like, it's a nice way of saying they'll slow it down for your pussy.
Yep, yeah.
Well, I guess just flower, you're just delicate.
For your flower.
Mmm, yeah.
I think he meant to say you.
Slow it down for you, flower.
Like, that's like, that's like, oh, they'll slow it down for you, poppet.
I'm not gonna pretend I speak English though.
Yeah.
Oh, they'll slow it down for you, uh, crumpet.
Other things that we don't say here?
They will slow it down.
I think he's saying just like labor's bad.
Yeah.
Like you're bad and if labor gets in charge they'll make it bad the way you like it.
Don't worry, it'll take even longer next time if you vote labor.
And it's nice to see that the British have the same disease that we have over here which is just like Oh, a driver plowed into a bunch of people during a parade.
Welcome to Biden's America.
Yep.
Anything that bad happened is happening.
It's happening because of the person in charge when it happened.
Yeah.
Oh, there's a Korean puppet on Sesame Street.
Yep.
This is just what the Democrats wanted.
Yep.
Wait, I was gonna say there was no Korean puppet on Sesame Street before Brexit, so... Oh, that's a good point.
Pink Robot says, That explains a lot.
And Aldi Yarm Lane.
So Aldi in Yarm Lane.
Very pleased to see the majority not wearing masks.
Sainsbury and Asda still full of masked sheep.
That explains a lot.
Maybe that's why he was bagging so fast.
That could be.
I would love that too.
I love this idea of, like, I don't believe in coronavirus.
It's all fake.
But people in masks, that's bad.
Wouldn't it not matter, you know?
Yeah, it wouldn't affect you at all.
You're just like, oh, I like to know that the people in my city are tough and smart.
That way I can trust my neighbor in a firefight.
If I see someone in a mask, they might leech on me.
You know?
That's what I'm worried about.
Oh, the protein spikes?
Yeah, they might mess up my period.
That would fuck me up.
And finally, yeah, uh...
From the Burrow said, uh, hey, it's not a packing area.
Put your shopping back in the trolley at the, so trolley is the cart in Britain.
Put your shopping, and your shopping means your groceries, put your shopping back in the trolley at the checkout and turn round and pack in the actual packing area along the shop windows like everyone else rather than going to the Gazette for likely the most embarrassing and cringeworthy story ever.
Yes.
Both are correct answers.
Both are totally correct answers.
Like, that would solve the thing, you know.
not visit the ones with ignorant self-centered assistance.
Both are correct answers.
Both are totally correct answers.
Like, that would solve the thing, you know, both of these are solutions here.
One's totally misdirected, but they're both correct answers.
Hey, you shopping clerks, you grocery clerks who bag everything and scan everything too fast, why don't you meet your replacement?
It's like a touchscreen, you know?
Yep, yep, yep.
Hey, you workers who work too hard, this is what's in store for you.
We're gonna all visit the self-checkout now so we can be slow.
Best thing about self-checkout is I dictate the pace, you know?
Yeah, it used- I mean that's- And we don't talk back!
Everything's so fast now.
Everything's so, so rapid-paced.
It used to be you could just go to the grocery store for three hours and just leisure- Take your time.
Take your time and just, you know, smell each item after you scan it.
Get it- That's why the kids were, like, losing it because they've been there for so long.
You know?
Yeah, possibly.
You just have to go to the bathroom, really.
Uh, and I, hey, I also, I'm not a kid, but boy do I have to go to the bathroom.
Uh, I think we should end the episode here.
Uh, hey, thanks for listening.
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