Support the show at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get instant access to weekly bonus episodes of MDC as well as Tony's new podcast LAST RESPONDERS This week it's a recap of Alexander's wacky, wildest workday yet in which his center manager cleans blood off the floor of Alex's Package car Also, we visit Real Raw News and find out which celebrity pedophile the military is executing this time
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|---|---|
| So, uh, one article caught my eye here, uh, in particular and it was Military Executes Tom Hanks. | |
| Mm-hmm. | |
| This was posted yesterday. | |
| So I guess it slipped under the radar, apparently. | |
| I mean, yeah. | |
| I can't imagine why the mainstream media didn't want to cover this. | |
| But yeah, military executes Tom Hanks, their golden boy. | |
| And I just want to say, finally got him back for that Cleveland Guardians narration commercial. | |
| Yep. | |
| They didn't wait for that one. | |
| That's for sure. | |
| We got him, folks. | |
| How dare he? | |
| That was overnight. | |
| That was nuts. | |
| Thought he could get away with it. | |
| Get away with narrating an ad for a baseball team changing their name. | |
| You think you can just erase history? | |
| You're gonna get erased, bub. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Okay. | |
| Military executes Tom Hanks. | |
| Actor Tom Hanks has left the earth. | |
| He's dead now. | |
| Put to death by a military tribunal that found him guilty of pedophilia and child endangerment. | |
| On June 12th, the U.S. | |
| military apprehended Hanks after a plane he had chartered in Greece, where he held dual citizenship, landed at Malpensa Airport in Milan, Italy, where Hanks had been scheduled to attend a foreign film festival. | |
| U.S. | |
| military sources told RRN, so Real Raw News, that members of the 173rd Airborne Combat Brigade, the Executeness Brigade, And Interpol were awaiting Hank's arrival when the Learjet 75 reached the airport apron. | |
| That's how you know this is true, is because there's so many details to it. | |
| Now, my question real quick is, it's a foreign film festival in Italy, so are these films that are foreign to Italy? | |
| Yeah, they're American movies screened in Italy. | |
| Yeah, so it's like The Quiet Place 2, The Green Knight. | |
| It's all the, it's all the, um, god damn it. | |
| Yeah, those other movies. | |
| Our Christian guy. | |
| Our Christian man. | |
| Those movies. | |
| The Kevin Sorbo movies. | |
| The Kevin Sorbo sagas. | |
| That would be fun, to fly to Italy to watch God's Not Dead 4. | |
| It'd be beautiful. | |
| It'd be perfect. | |
| I would love that. | |
| God's not dead for... uh... God's... God did die. | |
| That's the subtitle. | |
| For your sins. | |
| Jesus. | |
| He did die. | |
| He did die for your sins. | |
| He did die and you wasted that. | |
| Don't make it be in vain. | |
| Keeps going. | |
| Yeah, long, long subtitle, but it's effective. | |
| I want to see it. | |
| I'm down. | |
| Weapons drawn, they boarded the plane and found Hanks seated beside longtime friend Peter Scolari, who in 1980 starred alongside Hanks in the TV sitcom Bosom Buddies, in which the duo portrayed transvestites living in an all-female college dormitory. | |
| That's why they picked him. | |
| They're not notorious friends. | |
| They don't hang out all the time. | |
| But he did play that movie with them where they both played trans women. | |
| Uh, well it was a sit- TV sitcom. | |
| I don't know- I don't know- I don't know what that sitcom is, but that's what he's saying that they did, right? | |
| Yeah, um, and I mean the- oh, you- you think you know better than Real Ra- Raw News just because, what, just because you watch, uh, E! | |
| Hollywood and never see Tom Hanks hanging out with Peter Scolari, you think I'm supposed to take that as like, oh, they don't even talk to each other. | |
| Uh, yeah, in which the duo portrayed transvestites, uh, I think they were just like, Portraying women? | |
| Uh, I don't think they were like, uh, hey, uh, house mistress. | |
| I'm, I'm a transvestite. | |
| I'm, can I stay here? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Um, excuse me for using that word. | |
| I know that's a bad word. | |
| Um, living in an all-female college dormitory. |