Let's hope the Palestinians don't want to hide bombs in your ice cream stores
This week it's a couple of Classic Cult news stories as conservatives, including one feisty Sheriff, lose their entire minds when the Cleveland baseball team gets less racist also, Ben & Jerry's says it won't sell their tasty frozen treats to Israeli settlers, so the heads of state accuse them of terrorism Support the show at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and you'll get a bonus episode every week, instant access to hundreds of hours of bonus content, and Tony's new 9-1-1 podcast, Last Responders Music: Entombed - Demon
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're in the middle of the stormy deserts.
All their environment, all the time.
Stay tuned.
Alright, I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we're Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Ice cream terrorism is responsible.
We're documenting it.
Hey, everybody.
It's your show for the week.
Thanks for listening.
Hey, you had a lot of podcasts to choose from, and I'm sure you listened to all those ones first, but thanks for settling for us afterwards.
But you're here now, and I'm happy.
I'm happy that you made time.
We have just a classic ep of MDC today.
Pitched right down the center at the kind of content we crave on this show.
Before we get into that though, how was your weekend, Tony?
How are you doing?
I'm awesome.
I had a fantastic weekend.
Really was able to enjoy myself and had a killer weekend.
Saw entry on Friday.
I had never heard of them.
I think you sent me a video of them or you posted it on Twitter or something like that.
Looked pretty good.
Yeah, check out Entry.
Entry fucking rules.
Yeah, and spent the weekend in Long Beach.
It was really nice.
When I saw that I was like, well, that's a marked change from their like sort of soulful, psychedelic rock and roll.
And I'm like, oh, that's the entrance band.
That's different.
Yeah.
That's a different band.
Because, yeah, this one was a little more hardcore.
It was definitely hardcore.
Yeah.
You know, I went ahead and, you know, moshed a little bit on my broken foot and it was fun.
It was a good time.
Uh, you just crowd maimed instead of crowd killing.
Exactly.
You were limited in what you could do.
I just crowd, like, thoroughly warned.
I've been watching more movies as I work on these totes.
I did a Brendan Fraser-a-thon, somewhat accidentally.
I watched Blast from the Past, because it was on Hulu.
I did the same recently.
Pretty, pretty funny movie.
A little bit racist, a lot of the... So the premise of that movie is, of course, Brennan Fraser is raised in a fallout shelter because his parents think that Los Angeles was hit by a nuclear weapon, you know, during the Cold War, and so they've been living underground.
And boy, have things changed.
Now, up top, now there's homeless people, and brown people, and trans people, and it's just a fucking nightmare, right?
Yeah, yeah, it's jarring to poor Brendan Fraser, who's never seen anything besides his mom and dad.
Who plays his mom?
Sissy Spacek.
Yes, that's awesome.
Carrie herself, yeah.
And the dad's Christopher Walken, of course, and yeah, he goes up and he's thoroughly horrified to encounter poor people.
Uh, and also a trans sex worker who is a pretty good character, uh, but there's like a pretty horrible joke made at her expense afterwards.
Uh, but yeah, other than, you know, uh...
Other than that, uh, pretty cool.
He's a pretty cool guy, uh, because he's, he's just lived with like that, that early 1960s sense of, uh, sense of wholesomeness and goodness.
You know how everybody was good back then in the 60s, unlike now?
He was raised with that sort of, aw shucks, gee whiz, don't take the Lord's name in vain, mister.
And he, this is, you know, this is of course pretty funny, the sort of, the culture clash he encounters when he comes upstairs, particularly with Alicia Silverstone, a streetwise sexpot who puts him in his place immediately.
But he's kind of portrayed as like, A real catch, because he knows how to dance, and he knows how to box, and he's extremely polite.
He's extremely polite.
He's like chivalrous.
And chivalrous and well-mannered, and so all these women are like falling all over themselves, you know, to like land him as a man, you know, because he's an old-school man, which is what we're lacking nowadays.
Your dad's gonna love him.
Listen, uh... Your dad will respect him.
The only guys you can catch out there are just like, you know, guys who are sort of like scumbags doing deep space smuggling on a ship called Serenity.
Or maybe that's just because Nathan Fillion is Alicia Silverstone's ex-boyfriend.
Maybe I...
Getting a little universal with that, but I just think it would be funny to like actually go with it, to actually like live with a guy like that, a guy like Brendan Fraser's character, who would just do nothing but constantly chastise you for like eating your soup wrong.
Yeah, just breaking the rules.
That's just not how it's supposed to go.
Listen, you, darling, honey, honey bear, you know The remote goes on the left side of the bed.
We've been over this, sweetcakes.
I don't make the rules, okay?
We just know this.
I guess remote's probably bad.
He probably doesn't know what a remote control is.
He probably thinks it's, you know, like a gun or something.
He insists that you get up and change the channel on the TV.
Because if it's not worth standing up for, it's not worth changing.
Go to work, hun.
Absolutely not.
No.
Course not!
And then after that, so, oh, there's like an exquisite swing dancing scene in the middle of that movie too.
That's the real reason to watch that movie is because it's just so fortunate that, yeah, Brendan Fraser's character, he came back to LA.
He, what do you call it?
He experienced LA right at the height of the swing revival era in the late 1990s.
Yeah, exactly.
He was right there for the Boot Scootin' Boogie.
No, that's not Boot Scootin' Boogie.
It's the Cherry Poppin' Daddies.
Yeah, there we go.
The daddies who popped the cherries of their girls.
It's a great band.
We like them a lot.
Did this come out the same year as The Mask?
Is this the year of swing dancing?
There's a very narrow window.
The Mask was literally on autoplay next.
After Blast From The Past.
Because of that scene.
Yeah.
So after that I watched Monkey Bone.
Oh man.
Because Ani had never seen it.
That's a movie I like to return to.
Yeah.
It is of course about a cartoonist who falls into a coma and then is sort of beset and tortured by his own creations in his mind.
Monkey Bone sort of harasses him and harangues him and the denizens of Nightmare Town or wherever they are, they feed off of his horrifying images in his head.
And it just, you know, oh, an artist is beset by their own creations after falling into a coma.
Is this Monkeybone or is this DeLaust in the Comatorium by the Mars Volta?
Ooh, and which came first?
We know the answer to that, actually.
I think Monkeybone probably did come first.
It did come first, for sure.
It came first.
Yeah, because DeLaust is 2001, I believe.
Wow.
Wow.
There's some interview there where, like, Omar's talking about how much he loves Ben and Fraser.
He's a real Ben and a real Fraser head.
It is a good movie, though.
The humor is kind of, you know, cringe.
It's kind of, like, edgy.
You know, monkey in a human body wants to, like, hump dogs and stuff like that.
But the animation, like, when he's in, you know, the coma world, is great.
It's so good.
It's like the best Tim Burton movie, not actually directed by Tim Burton.
Which is probably a good way to make a Tim Burton movie.
Because then, you know, you can have black people in it.
Yeah, Whoopi Goldberg's one of the stars in Monkeybone.
The animation, like the stop motion animation, even the CGI in that movie is fucking fantastic.
It's like, it's pretty much...
It's almost like a sequel to Beetlejuice.
Because it deals with the bureaucracy of the undead and that sort of thing.
Recommend it.
Follows a lot of the same rules.
I think I'm going to complete the late 90s Brendan Fraser trilogy and watch Bedazzled next, the one where he makes wishes to, you know, win over the girl of his dreams, and each wish kind of goes a little awry because he is dealing with the devil.
And one of those wishes is he wants to be rich and powerful, and so that means that he ends up doing brownface as a Colombian drug lord.
Oh yeah, that scene.
That's a scene right there.
You reminded me of that a long time ago.
That's a scene right there.
We watched it, I think, together.
Oh man, just that scene.
Yeah, it's a scene where he's like surprised that he knows how to speak Spanish because he's just woken up into this reality.
And so he's saying like, donde esta la biblioteca?
And he speaks in this like comical, dramatic, it's like a joke.
It is like a caricature and it's wild to see.
Also Elizabeth Hurley in that movie.
Yeah, yeah.
Shout out Elizabeth Hurley.
So like, yeah, Brendan Fraser got to act opposite my three late 90s crushes, which were Alicia Silverstone.
Oh, I was thinking of The Mask, Cameron Diaz.
That wasn't Brendan Fraser.
No, Alicia Silverstone, Elizabeth Hurley, and Monkey Bone.
Oh, well, Rose McGowan is in Monkeybone playing a cat lady.
Oh, okay, alright, alright.
So yeah, if you needed another reason to watch it.
That's up the alley.
Yeah, the last movie that I started watching today was the edgy rock and roll heavy metal Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters.
I don't know anything about that.
Yeah, it's not your dad's Hansel and Gretel, you know, the one your dad liked.
My dad loved the real soft one.
Yeah, this one's not for everybody.
You know what I mean?
If you have sensibilities, you might want to check them at the door.
Because this one, they have guns.
Oh, hell yeah.
Hansel and Gretel have guns.
Hansel and Gretel, they have giant guns.
Awesome.
Giant rifles that look like Nerf guns with duct tape wrapped around them.
They're witch hunters.
What if Hansel and Gretel, not only did they survive that first witch encounter, but they were actually like immune to magic and expert witch killers and could do hand-to-hand combat MMA style with deformed witches in the woods?
Okay, all right.
I like the direction it's going.
For a second I thought maybe you were saying it was like a rock and roll Hansel and Gretel, much like the hip hop Mother Goose.
Yeah, it's like... Starring Bobby Brown.
It's like, it's the rock and roll version of Othello or Oh, whatever.
Remember that?
I never actually watched that.
Oh yeah, that was... Was it good?
Um, you know, I remember liking it, but I was also probably thinking I was smart because I was watching something like that.
I should watch it again as an adult.
I'll check that one out soon.
That was a MTV movie, right?
I think so, yeah.
Yeah, so is this one.
This was like probably the last movie that MTV Films produced.
It's so bad.
I remember when it came out, I was like, oh shit, it's like a dark version of Hansel and Gretel, like where they're hunting witches and shit like that.
It sounds so cool.
And then I saw it and I was like on my high horse about it.
I was like, this, this sucks.
This isn't as good as I thought Hansel and Gretel witch hunting movie should have been.
This wasn't up to my standards.
You gotta give it respect.
You can't do it a disservice.
But watching it again, it's like so insane.
It's so funny.
And there's like so much actual work put into it.
Like the makeup on the witches is great.
They look like the zombies from The Evil Dead.
Okay.
The whole movie is like... What if Army of Darkness took itself way too seriously and also had Gunkata in it?
Nice.
That's exactly what I want in an Army of the Dead type thing going on.
But, fuck.
Is it still like, it's entertaining to watch though?
Oh yeah, it's great.
Okay, cool, cool.
I posted some clips on Twitter.
Go check them out.
I would, yeah, I need to watch.
It's like steampunk too.
Like they have a taser they use on a witch.
Yes.
Yes, that's awesome.
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
I like the hand-to-hand combat, though.
I like the witches, like, running on all fours like werewolves, and then, you know, leaping like a springboard, you know, at them with, like, all their arms out.
Yeah.
And then doing, like, punches and kicks and slashes, and it's pretty cool.
I like that.
I like that.
I like it when you get into a little supernatural in your combat, you know?
Um, okay.
But yeah.
So that was, that was essentially my weekend.
Plus, uh, the cats and dogs, uh, pissed a lot in the house and woke us up like five times every night.
So that's, that's been my weekend.
They coordinated.
They needed to make that happen together.
Dude, Ani took Angel, her dog, out to pee twice starting at 4.45 AM and then like again at like 6.45 or 7 and then it still pissed on the floor sometime after that before we actually got out of bed.
Brutal.
Oh man.
Gotta train that dog how to use the toilet.
I think what happens is, is she saves up pee because when she goes on walks, she likes to mark everything.
And so she doesn't actually... Gotta have a little back stock.
Yeah, a little reserve.
And so... Then you gotta purge at the end, yeah.
When she didn't get walked, she was like, fuck this.
It's bullshit.
She let it ride.
Something's gotta get marked today, baby.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
So I think we've fulfilled our duty of talking about dog piss at the top of this episode.
I have a couple more notes about dog piss.
Okay.
No, not really.
Oh, okay.
I'll just go back and edit that part out.
Okay, so I was thinking of which order to do these topics in that we're covering today.
I think we should go with the Ben and Jerry boycott of Israel first.
Yeah.
I like that.
This one's fun because, uh, you know, we have our usual, you know, the commentariat, you know, your aunt, your uncle, your cousin or whatever on Facebook, uh, reacting poorly to this news.
Uh, but you also have, The Israel Twitter account, the official Twitter account for Israel, tweeting, Wow.
New idea for a Ben and Jerry's flavor fudged this one up.
Wow.
That, that, that got through, through the editing process.
Yeah.
To be, I don't know if there is an editing process really, It's funny, but yeah, like, fudged this one up is all one word.
Well, that's how they do it at Ben & Jerry.
You gotta make one word out of four words.
Yeah, I don't know.
I haven't seen that in the Ben & Jerry.
I don't buy Ben & Jerry's a lot.
So maybe, yeah, every single flavor is one word.
That's, yeah, Cherry Garcia is Cherry Garcia.
Yeah, all hyphens.
No, no hyphens.
Just all run together.
No hyphens?
Oh, no, they're blowing it.
This is fucked.
This is, nope.
It's even worse than if it did have hyphens in it.
Yeah.
And yeah, it's not even like, it's, I guess it is a pun, but it's not like, it's like, okay, chocolate, you guys suck.
What about that flavor?
Yeah, they could have taken it a step further.
It could have been like, fudge this one up with a cherry on top and then you know it's chocolate and cherries.
Maybe there is a fudged up flavor already and that's what they're doing a pun on?
I don't think so.
But I'm only familiar with the vegan flavors, so I don't think that, yeah.
I've never seen Just Fudged Up.
Also, where is he here?
Israel's president, Isaac Herzog, called the boycott of Israel a new kind of terrorism on Wednesday in light of the U.S.
ice cream company's Ben & Jerry's decision not to sell their products in Israeli settlements in the West Bank and East Jerusalem.
Quote, the boycott of Israel is a new sort of terrorism.
Oh, hey.
It's brand new.
Brand new terrorism.
New terrorism just dropped.
It's not selling ice cream.
That's terrorism.
It's a new sort of terrorism.
Economic terrorism.
Herzog said at a ceremony commemorating prime ministers and presidents of Israel who have passed away.
Quote, terrorism tries to harm the citizens of Israel and the economy of Israel.
We must oppose this boycott and terrorism in any form.
Wow.
Oh shit.
Damn.
This is serious.
He called it terrorism?
Damn.
Gotta boycott that boycott.
Cause that boycotts terrorism.
Uh, so yeah, this is a new kind of terrorism.
Economic terrorism.
Uh, okay, if that's the case, then why did I have to spend, uh, 17 years in prison for sending money to Al Qaeda?
If this is a new kind of, if economic terrorism is so brand new...
How come I was renditioned to a black site?
Just for giving money to those guys?
That's why, because it wasn't in the books when you did it.
But now they can just send you to a regular site instead of a black site.
Well, that seems like an improvement.
I think it is.
I'm going to start a band called Sunday Terrorists, and Sunday is spelled like the ice cream.
Oh, okay.
That'd be cool.
I thought you were going to say you were going to start a band called Black Site.
No, that sounds sick as fuck too, though.
Yeah.
Uh, but you could, it could be like S-I-G-H-T, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
To make people think.
I like that.
And it'd be cool because it'd be like my sites that are black.
So it's like a double, it's a double whammy.
Yeah, then you'd have to, you'd be selling the sites.
Yeah, exactly.
I would just be explaining my sites.
Um.
Yeah, I think this is so cool.
One of the only two countries in the world who voted to keep sanctions on Cuba that have been going on for, what, 60 years now?
Mm-hmm.
Is calling not selling ice cream in parts of their countries, calling that terrorism.
Wow, that's pretty rich.
Well, the thing is, I mean, you can still sell it in Cuba, you just can't get it there.
They can sell whatever they want there, they just can't get it there.
That's the hard part.
It's just funny because you know how BDS is racist against Jews, right?
BDS is anti-semitic or it's an act of terrorism or whatever.
Also, these 60-year sanctions on food and medicine We've had on the nation of Cuba that only we like.
We're the only ones who like it.
Everybody else is calling it an act of war because it's an actual government preventing a sovereign government from being able to, you know, participate.
See, in that sense, this is just a war of words because they're right.
It's not an act of terrorism.
It's an act of war.
Which, you know, that's state-sanctioned terrorism now.
Because the state's doing it, it's fine.
It's not terrorism.
It doesn't count.
So I just think that's funny.
It's also Alan Joep, Unilever's chief executive.
So, Unilever, who owns Ben & Jerry, responded by saying, We remain fully committed to our presence in Israel, where we have invested in our people, brands, and business for several decades.
Yeah, so they're still going to be in Israel.
They still have a manufacturing plant or whatever in Israel, I believe.
It's just the illegal settlements.
They're not going to sell their ice cream to the illegal settlements.
The rest of the country is cool, though.
Yeah, that's what's funny about it, because they made the statement, right?
To try to back away from their ties in Israel.
But the thing is, the statement is just, hey, we're just changing things, we're not actually cutting ties.
But then it totally backfired when Israel read it.
They were like, wait, no, this is still bad.
You gotta be all in or nothing, folks.
Well, it's like, who does this work on?
Calling...
A boycott?
It's not really a boycott, it's just like, we're not gonna distribute our goods there.
Yeah.
Calling that terrorism?
Who's that gonna get?
Like, who's reading this and being like, oh fuck, that's so bad!
I can't believe they did terrorism to the West Bank by not selling them their ice cream.
I mean, Zionist.
Like, with the right infograph, they'll just believe that.
Wow, uh, hey, if they're exaggerating about this being terrorism, uh, I wonder what else they're fucking exaggerating about.
I wonder if they're exaggerating about any other threats, uh, against them.
Can we just, can we grade this on a curve according to this exact scenario?
Can we now do that?
Yeah, Israel is... Ben and Jerry, they're refusing to sell us the... What are they calling those?
The balloon bombs?
What do they call them?
Where you tie a stick of dynamite to a balloon and it goes over the army or whatever?
Like, oh, this ice cream could have prevented balloon bombs from coming over.
They refuse to sell it to us.
They are killing our people.
Well, there was two options.
It was either ice cream or balloon bombs.
That's what we were going to send.
And there was no ice cream to send, but we had to send something, so therefore, balloon bombs.
That's your fault.
And then Senator James Lankford from the U.S., from Oklahoma, specifically, says, Ben and Jerry's has now decided they know more about Jerusalem than the Israelis.
I love that argument too.
Especially coming from this guy.
It's like, listen to Zionist voices.
That's the funny thing, you know, that he's right.
I do believe that a senator, we're in Oklahoma?
Yeah.
Yeah, he does know more about Israeli things because, you know, as we know, most Israeli politicians were at one point American politicians, even, or grew up in America.
So, yeah, I do believe he might have some insight there.
They probably went to school together.
Man, Oklahoma's so racist, dude.
Forget the OK sign, their name is just OK.
That's bullshit.
They're just out there with it.
Yeah, okay.
They've now decided they know more about Jerusalem.
They're telling the Israelis that they're bad.
I think the Israelis would know if they were bad.
Don't you think?
Shouldn't we ask the Israelis if they're bad?
No, they said they're good.
They said they're good.
You gotta listen to them.
Sorry, this is just me amplifying POC.
People of Colonies.
If Ben and Jerry's wants to have a meltdown and boycott Israel, OK is ready to respond.
Oklahoma has an anti-boycott of Israel law in place.
Wow.
So just these people, like, this is why it's so fun to cover a topic like this because you can see just how much, like, the people we talk about on this show regularly are running the show.
Yeah.
They are truly, like, exactly the same as the people in power.
Why the fuck would Oklahoma be doing this?
Why is Oklahoma having a law where you can't boycott Israel?
That's wild.
Dude, like 30 states have that law.
30 states have anti-BDS laws.
Because, I mean, it's just crazy that 16 states have laws that are okay with terrorism.
Terrorism's legal in those states, I guess?
They're okay with just eating ice cream like that?
That's disgusting.
Yeah, I don't know if any of these laws have actually been put to the test.
Because it seems like they're all, you know, as little as I give a shit about, you know, What's constitutional?
It doesn't seem like these laws are constitutional.
No, they don't sound right.
I think that's the one they talk about a lot.
Sounds like they're kind of just nixing that one out.
I like if Ben & Jerry's wants to have a meltdown and boycott Israel.
Like, oh, sorry you got your panties in a wad and decided not to sell ice cream.
We're going to outlaw you not selling your ice cream to somewhere.
Because that's what he's saying, right?
He's saying you're not going to be able to sell Ben & Jerry's in Oklahoma anymore.
We're gonna write a law where you have to provide the entire state of Israel and the occupied territories with free ice cream for 10 years.
Because you guys had to get so upset.
Yeah, we're gonna force you to bulldoze a Palestinian village at gunpoint.
Yeah, that's the only way you can redeem it.
And then you have to provide ice cream for the troops.
Yeah, so cool stuff.
I mean, I love yeah, just the the Israeli Twitter Come trying to riff on Ice cream flavors.
It is funny that they're they're making this joke about it.
You said riffing on it, but then everyone else is like pissed So it's like I don't know read the room guys.
Maybe maybe you guys should be pissed too.
I But they were like, uh oh, you guys fudged this one up.
Everyone's gonna come for you now.
Yeah, it's just you fucked up.
I mean, it's pretty hard-bodied, actually.
Yeah.
They tweeted, internet do your thing.
Yeah, just for this, we're tearing down 200-year-old Olive Grove.
Oh my god, yeah.
That's what you get.
You know what we're gonna put in its place?
Iraqi Road.
Yeah.
Make a new ice cream on that.
See, they have fun, you know?
They're a good time.
They're a good time.
But we love a good ice cream pun.
The Babylon Bee had a post where it was like, Oh, Ben and Jerry's have a new ice cream flavor called, I fucking hate Jews!
Or whatever, right?
Oh God, yeah, of course.
Kevin Wren commented on it.
He said, Let's hope the Palestinians don't want to hide bombs in your ice cream stores.
What?
Like, would that be expat Palestinians here?
What is he saying?
Well, he means, you know, there's there's Ben and Jerry's over in Israel still or whatever, or, you know, I guess there's Palestinians here as well in the United States.
But I like he's saying, listen, you know how Israel will just bomb the shit out of anywhere because there's, quote, Palestinian bombs inside.
Oh, I sure hope that doesn't happen to one of your stores.
Remember how psycho the government is that I support?
Remember how bloodthirsty and just without remorse and just unaccountable to humanity this country is?
I hope you thought about that before you made this decision.
Yeah, they're like, they can do anything they want as long as they say that's where the bombs were.
You messed up, bro.
Yeah, this is definitely just like in frailty.
Like, oh, I have a list of Palestinian bomb makers and their locations.
You look at the list and you're like, Kevin, isn't this just that company that was picking on you yesterday?
Isn't this just Ben and Jerry's?
Isn't that what this is?
That's wild.
Isn't it Free Scoop Day?
Isn't it today Free Scoop Day?
That's pretty fucked up, Kevin.
And then Greg replies, even though this doesn't really, I don't know, seem to apply to Kevin's comment.
Greg replies, the label on the product seems, and remember this is Babylon B, so it's a fake product.
The label on the product seems to be more violent to Jews than Palestinians.
So yeah, this thing that we made up, oh wow, seems to be more violent towards Jews.
I wonder if they thought about that before I made this up.
Yeah, this thing they made up, it's almost like they made it up to make us look like we're more violent than they are, you know?
So strange.
So, what a concept.
I'm surprised they didn't also do the thing, like that comic artist we talked about, where they attributed the ice cream to somebody with like a stereotypical Jewish name.
Oh yeah.
People are like, wow, violent towards Jews also written by a Jew?
Go figure.
You know?
Pretty disgusting.
Pretty, pretty on its face.
This one was good.
In the Heretz article about this, There was like, there weren't a lot of comments, but most of the comments were like, uh, the president is really fucking stupid for calling this terrorism.
Haaretz being, sorry, Haaretz being the Israel, Israeli newspaper.
A lot of them were not in favor of calling a boycott terrorism for obvious reasons.
I don't know, maybe because it actually seems like Israel is whole cloth making shit up even more than usual.
So, not a good look for anybody who wants to continue the Israeli project, probably.
Not that it's going to matter.
It's not going to do anything, but it just doesn't look good.
You know, it doesn't look good for you to be like, see, we're so attacked.
They want Israel wiped off the map.
How can we survive without our ice cream?
You know, I don't know what they're worried about.
As long as they got Oklahoma on their back, behind their back, they're going to be fine.
They're going to be able to get through anything because Oklahoma's got their back.
This one, but, you know, this one guy was pushing back against the criticism of the president, calling it terrorism.
Robert Blake, hmm, interesting name.
Yeah, curious.
Says, uh, it's not nonsense.
Boycotts are Nazi-invented instrument and Israel is the object of an unfair targeting.
I'm actually trying to say that Nazis invented boycotting.
What is your basis on that?
The Nazis, they also invented LaCroix to try and beat SodaStream out of the carbonated water market.
No.
Oh man.
There goes LaCroix.
You can't take down SodaStream like that.
The Nazis also, they invented store brand hummus.
My friend was just ragging on someone who was looking at a post of some white who did their trip there to Israel and posted the worst Trader Joe's hummus.
The worst one.
The really basic one.
And they were like, best hummus since Israel.
And he was so mad.
It was so funny.
That one's going to make everybody mad.
Yeah, that's going to make everyone mad.
Yeah, it was pretty great.
Yeah, I have more from this article.
The president added that the boycott, divestment, and sanctions campaign against Israel does not seek peace and wishes to undermine the very existence of the state of Israel.
So that shit we've been doing far worse to other countries for decades.
It's so bad when it happens to us on an atomic scale.
On Ben and Jerry's.
Not vaccines!
Not vaccines, not what they're doing with the sanctions in Cuba, but Ben and Jerry's terrorism.
Como had a post about this, it was like, you know, Ben and Jerry to stop selling ice cream to occupied territories.
They didn't even say occupied, they just said Palestinian territories, which is weird because it confuses the issue.
People are like, Oh, they're so stupid, so they're denying Palestinians the right to buy their product to own Israel?
Wow, good job.
Yeah, yeah.
You almost get it.
You're so close.
You're so close.
Take it one step again.
Yeah.
Albert Capone said, Ben and Jerry's stop selling in Palestinian territories because no one is buy their product there.
Fixed the headlines.
They fucking got their ass.
So that's... This is actually nothing to do with anything.
This is just market... They don't buy it.
So they're just stepping out.
It's not even because they're cool.
They're just taking their, you know... They're not... They're not, uh... They're not fired.
They quit.
I really like the idea of, uh, you know, snarkily fixing the headline and, like, having multiple grammatical errors and spelling errors in it.
Yep, yep.
You know?
And that's why I keep my mouth shut about typos.
Ben and Jerry stopping in Palestinian territory, okay?
Okay.
Yeah, that one's for free, Como.
You're welcome.
This one was really interesting.
Blue Re says, It figures.
It's well known those of European heritage are systemically racist against Jews.
It's embedded in their DNA.
You think because they are hippies they can escape their hatred?
No!
Oh, okay.
I mean, okay.
I kind of want to fuck with this comment, you know?
I want to write with this comment, because there's some element of truth there.
But it's misdirected here.
We also are missing the point!
I'm trying to suss out what's going on.
This comment, I had to compose myself, gather my thoughts.
I had to turn off the TV and think about this comment, you know?
I like, first of all, I like, uh, it's well known that those of European heritage are systemically racist against the Jews.
So just like not understanding what systemic racism is at all.
Not knowing words.
Yeah.
Um, like pointing at a guy and being like, you're systemically racist.
Yeah.
You know?
Um, I think this is a sarcastic comment.
I think it's trying to make fun of the idea of systemic racism and critical race theory.
That would make sense.
And it's saying, like, yeah, don't you know all white people are racist?
It's the reverse play.
It's in their DNA.
They're all virulent racists.
That's what they're going to teach my theoretical son or daughter if I ever had anybody who cared about me to carry my child to term.
It's the real racists are the people calling people racist.
Those are the real racists.
Yeah, I think it's kind of doing that, but it's like... If you're doing that, then you're joking about the idea that people are racist against Israel.
So then you're not... So then you are supporting the idea that it's okay to boycott Israel.
On like an ideological level or whatever.
You know what I mean?
It's like, is it real or is it fake?
You can't own it because you're confusing the two targets.
You're confusing this for a critical race theory.
The only thing that would make sense is like, oh the Jews are the ones who are doing the critical race theory.
And now I'm going to own the Jews by doing critical race theory, quote, on their behalf or something.
Yeah.
I'm I'm just I'm just doing what you taught now.
I'm just preaching what you taught, which is that all Europeans are racist.
And we know that.
So let's go ahead.
Yeah.
You know, you did you did to yourself here.
There were some great comments in the.
I can't remember where this was, I think this was like Daily Wire.
Chew- no, this was on Facebook.
Chew Toy says, screw these wimps.
I named my dogs Ben and Jerry because I love ice cream.
Now I tell people Ben and Jerry are for Ben Shapiro and Jerry Garcia.
What the fuck?
I hate that that person exists that- that like someone thinks that you could- that Jerry Garcia would be cool with Ben Shapiro.
What, you think Jerry Garcia likes premarital sex or something?
That's true, and I think he's been known to love facts and logic.
Uh, a lot of, a lot of Grateful Dead and just like hippies in general became, uh, big.
Oh, totally.
As soon as like, as soon as the 80s hit, they were like, okay, it's a time for something different.
Yeah.
Let's get a little bit of capitalism up in this, you know, this jam.
Yeah.
I, uh, actually, uh, I don't want people thinking I'm, I'm weird or like a liberal or anything.
So I'm going to tell him I named my dog after Ben Shapiro.
I gotta keep it real, you know?
I don't want anyone to think any less of me.
So yeah, here's my dogs Ben and Candace.
They gotta know I'm down.
They gotta know that I'm really down.
I like the idea though that capitalism, the 80s boom of capitalism, is actually a byproduct of the Grateful Dead bootleg sellers.
Capitalism is actually the byproduct of the Grateful Dead and that's why they're bad.
Yeah, they learned how to hustle by passing those tapes around.
Even though, wasn't that like a free community?
Well, yeah, totally it was, yeah.
But like you said, a lot of those people left those parking lots later on and would, you know, be small business tyrants.
Another one in a similar vein from the Daily Wire comment section says, despite my name being Ben and my best friend is Jerry, we never get Ben and Jerry's as we both love America more than ice cream.
We don't do it.
We will never do it.
Despite these being our freaking names, you'd think we'd go there like every day.
Yeah, you'd think it'd be all about... You'd think I'd be wearing a fucking tie-dye t-shirt with my and my best friend's name on it.
I mean, honestly, if there was a Tony and Alexander ice cream, I would probably... I'd say I'd have an honest 20 more pounds on your boy.
There is literally an Ani and Alex charm bracelet company or something, and that's why I'm wearing all of these right now.
And they look great!
You might have to edit out the dangling, the chiming I just heard.
You have to buy the product.
If it's got your name on it, you have to buy the product.
You have to do it.
Unless your love of America can overcome that impulse.
Yeah, I mean, not even if your name's on the product.
I fucking hate Frosted Flakes, but you know what?
I eat them every day.
Actually, look at this real quick.
Look at this Tony the Tiger Daddy, S&M Daddy that Rory Blank did.
That's a good one.
I like that.
It's so good.
I have that one on deck at all times.
It's like the new thing to never just... I have so many stickers that I love, so I just keep them unstuck.
I just have them.
I've been trying to get doubles, you know?
That's a good way to go with it.
Yeah, you don't want to stick it on anything until you get a backup.
Exactly, exactly.
You can have your box full of stickers.
Yeah, we never get Ben and Jerry.
We don't do it.
In fact, Ben and Jerry, they wanted to name a special flavor after us because of our friendship.
The name of the flavor was going to be Ben and Jerry.
It was going to be Ben and Jerry's Ben and Jerry.
We said no.
Contrary to what you would think, this is a Haagen-Dazs house.
In this house, we only eat Haagen-Dazs.
I love these fucking babies.
We could buy the ice cream with our names on it, but we're gonna stand our ground and not buy the ice creams with the same name as my name.
I mean, you think it's easy to do this?
It takes commitment to do this.
I fucking love Cherry Garcia.
Because of my strong moral commitment, I have managed to refrain from buying Alex brand infant annihilators.
I won't do it.
I won't do it.
Last comment here.
It's a good one.
In the Como News section, Donna Jago said, Why can't I get Froyo in my grocery stores anymore?
What?
I mean, does he think that's part of the anti-Semitic attack?
There's also no fro-yo, he's been paying attention?
Yeah, they're systematically weaning out all of our consumer choices and taking away our freedom to choose the fro-yo.
I can't believe someone brought up fro-yo in a Ben & Jerry's conversation.
I mean, come on.
If we're talking frozen desserts and we're talking Ben & Jerry's, we're not talking about Froyo.
Get the fuck out of here.
Is Ben & Jerry's good?
Do you like Ben & Jerry's?
They make one of the best accessible vegan ones.
What's it called?
What's the pun?
Well, they have the same flavors.
They have, like, vegan chunky monkey.
They have, yeah, vegan fish food.
There's one with a fucking Jimmy Fallon on it that's delicious.
What's fish food?
Fish food has, like, caramel and chocolate and I think peanut butter.
And it's spelled fish, like, P-H-I.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, fish food, yeah.
It's for, uh, yeah.
It's for burnouts.
People couldn't hear it, but Alex's eyes rolled real hard and it was real satisfying.
But no, I haven't had Ben and Jerry's in a while because I know this statement's bullshit and they are like still Zionist.
Yeah, I don't, you know, I think they're like in the Bernie Sanders brand of, like, anti-Israel politics where it's just like, hey, can't they be a little nicer?
You know?
Yeah, yeah.
Also, my local started carrying Van Leeuwen's vegan, which is even better.
It is also more expensive.
So, you know, I get it like once a month.
Um, okay, so, uh, that's, that's it.
I just, I like that topic because you get posts from, like, heads of state that are just indistinguishable, uh, from the cringe jokes, you know, your... And it's about ice cream.
...grandpa is making on Facebook.
The, the chain letter your fucking auntie sent you.
Moving on The baseball team The Cleveland Indians Decided to change their name Finally I guess they were going by The baseball team or something like that This year I wasn't really aware of all that Which is funny because I followed Cleveland for a while My family's from there And I used to wear a Cleveland hat The C one Not the one with the racist logo So it is
I didn't see that whole baseball team thing, but I'm happy to see someone finally did it.
It's finally done, because all these other teams, they're still just talking about doing it.
So it's nice to see that it's actually just been, it's done now.
Yeah, totally.
And it's, as we cover on this show a lot, it is one of those symbolic things, but it's arguably a pretty important one that like somebody doesn't have to see a racist version of their face on TV every now and then.
It's kind of nice.
There's that I wonder if I wonder if that that notorious clip of of the the white guy the white guy wearing wearing a headdress and in a Cleveland like shirt and stuff like that face to face with an indigenous guy and the indigenous guy just like punking him basically.
Yeah.
I wonder if that video like encouraged this more than the other ones.
Like I said, I'm just happy to see it done.
Regardless of what people think of the new name, I think it's fine.
I don't care what the new name is as long as it's not that anymore.
Yeah, so the new name is The Guardians.
Named after, I believe, some sort of statue or monument that flanks one of the main highways in Cleveland.
The statues are sort of like a Roman-looking bust sort of thing with a helmet, and they were called...
The Guardians of the Highway, I believe.
And so that's what the name of the team is now.
They're the Cleveland Guardians.
It's whatever, who gives a shit.
As long as Disney stays away from it, it's gonna be fine.
I recently learned that there was a baseball team a hundred years ago called the Cleveland Spiders.
That would be so sick.
That'd be tight.
Come on.
Yeah.
Oh, it could just be like a black widow, like hourglass is just the logo.
Yeah, you could make it look like some flash art, like some tattoo flash art or like a motorcycle club insignia or something like that.
That would be cool.
You hear that, sports?
Give Alex and I millions of dollars for our good ideas that aren't racist.
Well, I mean, because I was thinking you could incorporate like a tie in.
You could use the giant mechanical spider from Wild Wild West.
And then, yeah, sitting on top of it could be Dr. Loveless spouting racist jokes about Will Smith.
So you can keep some of the racism still in there for those guys, you know?
Yeah, keep a nice healthy dose.
But it's fun because Will Smith is there too.
And you know eventually Dr. Loveless is going to get his.
Well, I mean, you know, Will Smith makes fun of him being in a wheelchair the whole time.
That's true, that's true.
So, you know, it evens out.
Everybody's happy.
Is it racist if it's against, like, an ableist?
I don't... I don't know.
What's the math on that?
Yeah, we should put that to a Twitter poll.
Which is worse, racism or ableism?
If anybody else wants to put that to a poll, yeah, go for it.
I will not be interacting with it or anything, but I'm curious to see how that ends.
Yeah, for science, you know.
Yeah, so they're called the Cleveland Guardians now.
So many people got mad.
So many people are mad about this.
It's so very funny.
Really, where to start with this thing?
This is just, again, just a classic episode of MDC.
People getting extremely mad about shit that does not matter.
Stuff that is, yeah, just a consumer choice, you know?
And not even a consumer choice, because it's just like, What a company is, is... because it's a company, right?
A baseball team is just kind of like a company.
It's privately owned.
It's like changing the fucking branding, you know?
It's like...
Like, as long as your branding isn't fucking racist, then who cares, you know?
Like, that's the only time a company's branding should ever matter.
And like, this one's so blatant.
I mean, because people still let the Blackhawks rock, even though that's pretty bad.
Yeah, one of the commenters has the Blackhawks logo in their cover photo.
Because at least it's like a, you know, at least it's like a stoic looking person instead of... Well, and it's a specific tribe, isn't it?
Yeah, and it's not like an actually red-toned cartoon that is just like so race looking off top.
There's no way around it.
So many people were like...
I bet Indians didn't even care about this.
I don't know any, and I haven't looked up any of their opinions on this, but I bet they're just like me.
I'd be willing to bet, yeah.
And I know that I know what I'm talking about because I am in fact referring to them by the word that is being changed for the name.
Well, see, the thing is, is like, you know, I'm going to, I'm going to swerve hard out of my lane here for a minute.
You know, I have, I have, uh, Native American friends and I've asked them about this, just, you know, not in context of a fucking, you know, news story or whatever, but just in conversation that you have with friends, uh, That, yeah, a lot of Native Americans apparently do refer to themselves as Indians, but not as like a universal race of people called the Indians that are being used to sell a product.
That's like, that's I feel like the thing we can all get behind.
Whether or not like the word Indian is a slur, I think obviously depends on how it's being used and what people are individually comfortable with.
And if people don't want you to fucking call them something, don't call them that.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Which is, yeah, that's the biggest takeaway, is I do see other white people saying, oh, my friend said I could call them Indians, so it's not bad.
And it's like, you can call your friend an Indian.
Cool, do that.
Don't name your baseball team after it.
Well, also, or like the dude conversation.
Like, I am of the mind that everybody's dudes, you know?
All my friends are dudes.
Somebody tells me they don't identify as a dude, I'm not gonna call him a dude.
It's real simple.
I'm not gonna argue with them about what a dude is.
Yeah, just take the L. It's fine.
It's not even an L. Move on.
It's not an L. That's the thing.
It's not a fucking L at all.
Too many people view it that way.
They're like, I'm not wrong.
I can never be wrong about anything.
No, no way.
No fucking way.
You can't... Hey, listen, don't cancel me, please!
Don't cancel me!
Alright, dude?
Oh, shit.
Like, that's what they do every single time.
Fucking assholes.
So, I don't remember if I was going anywhere.
I don't think I was going anywhere with anything.
I don't know.
It's just, yeah, we're really mad.
We love to say Indian.
We love the red face Chief Wahoo.
A logo that definitely wasn't created specifically to mock Native Americans.
Yeah, yeah.
A team name that was definitely there to honor a Native American baseball player and not so you could create headlines like Indian Scalp Yankees.
Oh, absolutely.
What's funny about that logo, too, is the original one wasn't, I mean, it was still very racist, but it wasn't cartoonish racist.
It was like still a more human looking depiction.
And then they changed it to make it the goofy, racist one.
So it's like, this is that bad.
It's that bad.
Um, yeah.
A lot of, uh, Wendy Rogers, who's I think a state senator.
Uh, I'll, I'll wait to tell you what state she's from.
Uh, she says she tweeted out, I like Indians and I like red skins.
I like aunt Jemima and I like uncle Ben.
I like Robert E. Lee and I like Stonewall Jackson.
What?
I don't like traitors who hate America.
Stand up for our culture!
Sorry, this is who again?
This is a state senator.
This is a state senator.
Sick country, y'all.
Sick-ass country we got here.
You know, there's nothing more I don't like than traitors.
Also, I really like Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jacks.
I don't like traitors who hate America, but I do like the guys who attempted to secede from the country, who hated America so much that they tried to break it in half.
They were cool because they were doing it because they love the country so much they had to leave it.
It was a this hurts me more than it hurts you situation.
Yeah, that's like the more pedantic joke you can make about this.
I like the part where she says, stand up for our culture after naming like five other cultures.
Again, there's some... Oh, from Arizona?
Five cultures other than her own.
Indians and Redskins.
Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben.
Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson.
This is my culture as Wendy Rogers, state senator from Arizona.
Again, there's some...
Oh, from Arizona?
Fuck.
Again, there's some truth to this, right?
Because that is your culture.
Your culture is racist iconography.
Your culture is just taking another culture and plastering it on a box of cigarettes.
That's your fucking culture.
Her kitchen is full of the blackface ceramics.
Yeah, your culture is either taking another culture and flattening it into a screen print that you can sell merchandise with it, or it's identifying with a different culture who used to literally own people from another culture because they did that.
Yeah, exactly.
And it's so blatant.
That's wild, man.
That's fucking wild.
That list.
And that's funny, she didn't even try to sneak in one that was universally loved, you know?
Yeah, no, she was just going for it.
Whole hog.
I mean, I'm happy she didn't say, you know, I love Aunt Jemima and Ronald McDonald, you know, because I don't know how I would have felt about that.
But at least, you know, that one's not racist.
Well, until you pair them, I guess.
Well, she could have.
I think it would have been cool if she could have said, I love Aunt Jemima and Lucky Charms.
See, I don't discriminate.
But she would have said, I love Aunt Jemima and other slaves, like Lucky Charms.
Exactly.
And he shows what you can do as a former slave.
If you pull yourself up by your shoe buckles, you can also own a big pot of gold.
You just gotta, the thing is, you don't get born underneath the rainbow, you gotta get there.
You gotta travel to the end of the rainbow.
There was, was there, oh yeah, I thought, when I was reading this for a split second, I thought it was gonna be, I like Robert E. Lee and the Stonewall Riots.
That would have been cool, but she just listed bad things.
I'm trying to figure out what order to do it in.
I think I want to end with this, so I'll do some comments.
The way that they announced the name change was they had a video that was narrated by Tom Hanks.
Okay.
The Guardians baseball team had Tom Hanks say, like, hey, we're from Cleveland.
You know, we... Is Tom Hanks from Cleveland?
He's from Philadelphia, I believe, according to that movie.
I don't know.
I don't know if he's from there.
He's just like, you know, we're no stranger to adversity, blah, blah, blah.
We identify with everybody, et cetera, et cetera, kind of a thing.
We're guardians.
And then, you know, I was watching like some Newsmax video about this and I think it was Eric Bolling is the Newsmax host.
I wonder if he got like fired by Fox News for lying about the battery life of the Chevy Volt on camera.
Because they like fucking sued him.
Chevy like sued him for under understating the battery lifespan of their car, of their electric car.
On camera.
And didn't Fox like sidestep that and like put it all on him?
I don't know.
I'm just, I'm speculating here as to why he's at Newsmax instead of Fox News.
I would see that.
I think he also like had, he was like an oil lobbyist.
He like didn't disclose that he was an oil lobbyist and shit like that.
But anyway, yeah, he was like, and that voice you heard, if it sounded familiar, it's from one of the biggest liberal elites there is, from the nanny state of Hollywood, Tom Hanks, you know?
And so, yeah, there are some pretty good comments that, you know, referenced Tom Hanks.
And I, you know, they don't say his name here, but I think that might be what this comment's about.
Shelly Taylor says, So they change the name and hire a man who is an alleged pedophile and housed at Gitmo currently.
That explains why you didn't see him make the announcement.
The announcement was probably spliced together from past speeches.
LOL.
Doubt he's allowed... LOL.
Doubt he's allowed speaking engagements right now!
That's awesome.
I mean, doesn't he know that many rappers have done complete albums from prison?
I think Tom Hanks can do one Cleveland promo from Gitmo.
You keep calling these commenters he.
You called Donna a guy before, and you called Shelly... You're giving them too much credit, Tony.
Sorry, sorry.
You're falling back on the fair sex myth myth here.
Yeah, yeah.
I apologize.
I just love this.
So I love the confidence in this.
That's why it was a voiceover because he's in, he's in Gitmo, right?
That's never been done.
Why wouldn't they show his face on the guardians baseball team commercial?
That's, is that a prominent theory that, that he's currently housed in Gitmo?
Ian's a pedophile?
I'm sure they all think just because everyone he's Hollywood, he's a pedophile.
Yeah.
But it's also that far?
I don't think it's as mainstream as, you know, like thinking Clintons are pedophiles or what's her name who got like bullied off of Twitter?
That celebrity, you know, her and her musician boyfriend.
Who are they, Tony?
Oh, oh, oh, goddammit.
John Legend and... See, I can never, I should never ask you.
Oh man, I forgot her name.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're like definitely pedophiles, but I think it's less sure whether or not Tom Hanks is a pedophile.
That one's pie up in the air, yeah.
It's not Sofia Vergara, that's somebody else.
Somebody else is definitely a pedophile, I can't remember who it is.
But yeah, I love, yeah, he's an alleged pedophile and housed at Gitmo currently.
That's, I don't know much, but I do know Tom Hanks is at Gitmo right now.
And I doubt he's allowed speaking engagements, just like fucking taking the biggest windup you can and like, Biggest pause for like three seconds.
Put a shit-eating grin on your face.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't think he's doing any paid gigs right now.
You know what I mean?
It's hard to record when you're in a human pyramid.
Um, yeah, so.
Chrissy Teigen.
Chrissy Teigen's her name.
Thanks.
Welcome.
Uh, yeah, that, she's definitely a pedophile.
Yeah, yeah.
According to these people.
According to them.
Disclaimer.
No doubt.
I think they, like, trade e-kids.
I think John Legend and Hunter trade up e-kids.
Uh, Jai Juddlin?
What?
Jai Judlin says, "Sounds like someone was watching Guardians of the Galaxy when they come up with that.
Must have been a quote "woke millennial." You know, the famously woke millennial fanbase of Guardians of the Galaxy.
Must have been a woke millennial, they love their Guardians of the Galaxy.
They sure do, they love their Guardians- Oh, so stupid.
Doesn't everyone like Guardians of the Galaxy?
Yeah, I mean, it's probably one of the best performing movies of all time.
Yeah, it's like, so unoffensive to anybody.
It's like, what?
I love that.
These are the people who don't go to the movies anymore.
Yeah.
And it's not because they have mobility issues currently.
It's not because their doctor has said to avoid things that make you black out in rage.
It's not because of that.
It's because the movies are too woke now.
Hollywood is too woke, we're boycotting the theaters, and so I can only imagine the people still going to see movies have to be like communist woke millennials.
Probably just the most woke millennials.
Can't imagine who else would be going to see this dreck, you know?
I mean, last time I went to a theater, every single seat was open to every single gender.
But back in my days, it was split in half.
Yeah, it was assigned seating based on gender.
Yeah.
What was I going to say?
Oh, why didn't anybody say, like, oh, they probably named it after The Guardian, that newspaper from socialist Great Britain.
Ooh, that would have been good.
That would have been good.
Well, no, because we all know that, you know, newspapers are one thing, but Hollywood, Hollywood media is even more powerful.
Yeah, totally.
Marie Rat- Rat- What?
Marie Rateliff?
Did she spell her own name wrong?
Is it supposed to be Ratcliffe?
Marie- I like Rateliff.
Marie Rateliff or Rateliff?
Says, "With me it ends watching any sports on TV, dot dot.
Also never caring or respect for Tom Hanks movies ever again, dot dot." Oh my god, people who didn't already hate Tom Hanks are now going to boycott Tom Hanks because he was part of the name change.
Yeah, he's done for, dude.
He's over.
It's over for Tom Hanks.
That sucks.
Man, kissy goodbye.
If Steven Spielberg tries to put him in a movie, they're both going down.
They're going so down.
They're gonna be forgotten in no time.
This one was funny.
Eric Herget, he said... Remember, this is about Cleveland Indians changing their name to the Guardians.
When I was younger, I used to think I would like to live to be 100.
But God, who is much wiser than us all, knows if you live too long you become a stranger in your own world.
The America I grew up in is gone.
The men and women behind the curtain is erasing us all, one by one.
And this person's 102, right?
102 years old?
He's getting there.
He's getting there?
That's so funny.
I'm going to blow my brains out because Cleveland Indians changed their name.
Because they're different now.
Because they're the Guardians.
I fucking hate that.
There's no National League for old men.
I only go to baseball games to do the chop.
That's why I go.
Are the Cleveland Indians, or the Cleveland Guardians, are they National League or American League?
I don't know off the top of my head.
I believe they're National League.
Okay, Cleveland Indians Division.
American League.
Okay, so go back.
Yeah, no American League for old men anymore.
Right.
Um, I loved that so much, I've become a stranger in my own land.
Yep.
Because things are slightly different now.
And it's funny because so much of this was like, in the same breath, people were like, they'll always be the Indians to me.
They were also saying, and it also, it'll always be a Jacobs field.
Like, because they changed the name of the field also... To whoever sponsored it now, right?
Yeah, so... It's like, yeah, when you put it in perspective, that's exactly the same level of problem that this is.
The field is different now, and you're upset because you, like, have to remember a different word.
There's some guy whose name is Jacob who feels very strongly about this.
I was never offended by the name of the field.
When they're getting rid of all that merchandise at half price or whatever, you know?
Pulling down the sign, you grab that sign.
Also with your name on it!
Put it in your bedroom.
Hide it from your mom though.
Yeah, it's just like people upset that things are different.
It's, and they try to like create this, oh, it's, you know, the destruction of society.
Like, oh, it's a, it's a communist plot or it's the cultural Marxist or whatever.
It's like, no, you're just mad because like, people are still doing stuff.
Like, sorry, you're not doing anything anymore.
Yeah.
Other people like, like, I don't think it's good or bad.
Well, in this case, but like Jacob's Field, I don't think it's good or bad that they changed the name of Jacob's Field.
It's just different.
And you liked the old thing because you already knew the old thing.
And also, go ahead and keep on calling it Jacob's Field.
That's fine.
I understand that.
I still call the Honda Center the pond.
But that's because I don't want to say the name of a company when I do it.
It does feel kind of gross.
It feels gross.
But this is not the same thing, my friend.
It's okay, because you're not offending anybody.
You're not offending an entire people by saying Jacob's Field.
I just love looking wistfully out the window and seeing a Mazda drive by and being like, they were called Datsun back in my day.
Toyota, what is it?
Yeah, Toyota, yeah.
I guess there's no place for me in this world anymore.
Or was it Nissan?
I think it was Nissan, actually.
It was one of them, you know?
And who knows anymore?
We've erased that history.
So maybe this guy's onto something.
We really ruined our cool car guy reputation right now.
Man, uh, wow.
Remember when there used to be a car called the Plymouth?
The good old days.
Yeah.
The good old fucking days.
Remember when, back in my day, we used to drive Scions.
Whoa.
I remember, uh, I remember when it was called, uh, Jacobs Rockfest.
And you could see a bunch of cool stoner metal and metalcore and hardcore bands play for free.
And you would get VIP parking if you drove your Jacob to the Jacob's Rockfest.
And then they changed the name and I refused to go, even though my friend's band was playing and they stayed in the same hotel as Ringworm and I would have gotten to share a jacuzzi with Human Furnace if I had gone.
Dang, that jacuzzi would have been extra hot.
Yeah, just kidding.
I'm not an idiot and I did do all of that.
But I almost didn't.
It was close.
It was real close.
Yeah.
So that was Eric.
That was Eric saying, if you live too long you become a stranger.
God kills us before we get to 100 so we don't have to see the horrors of things occasionally changing names.
Bring on sweet death.
I am Tyrus Morticoil.
I am a stranger in my own land.
Yeah, that's why God gave your daughter brain cancer, is because they were gonna change the name of her favorite dolly at some point.
They knew that her favorite cartoon was about to be canceled.
Yeah, so I went to Eric's page because I was like, this guy sounds tight as hell.
This guy sounds really cool.
He sounds like he's got some really good priorities.
He's a great writer, at least.
Yeah, really compelling.
so i went to his profile to see what else he was posting about uh and there's this post from july 17th uh where he writes as i get older i think more like the dog i think it's a reference to like a meme or something but i just thought it was a great a great turn of freight you know It seems accurate.
I mean, I'm feeling more like the dog every day.
You know?
It's the dog's life.
What was I going to say here?
I think that was it for the comments.
I have here an amazing post on this same subject.
Thank you to, let's see here, Ryan Hitley for sharing this into the Facebook group.
This is a real post.
This is a post from the Portage County Sheriff's Office.
Let's see if I can pull it up here.
On Facebook.
Okay, so this is like an official image that has the masthead of the Portage County Sheriff's Office, which say, principles, accountability, integrity, honor, and respect.
And it says- Hell yeah.
Just like my tattoo says.
From the desk of Sheriff Bruce D. Zukowski.
In response to the recent announcement made by Cleveland's Major League Baseball team, I felt compelled to make a statement on behalf of the silent majority.
You know the silent majority?
We all know who they are now.
The silent majority who's occupying the sheriff's office?
You know what I mean?
Like, oh man, oh, he had no idea you existed and felt a certain way, Sheriff.
Well, I mean, they're silent because they don't have to talk.
They just can just do it.
They're silent because, you know, they got those video cameras now, those body cams, and they pick up audio.
They've all gotten really good at sign language.
In response to the recent announcement made by Cleveland's Major League Baseball team, I felt compelled to make a statement on behalf of the silent majority of sheriff's officers.
For the past few days, the release has been weighing heavy on my mind with disappointment and hopelessness.
I thought back to the roots of baseball, an American family tradition.
Yeah, dawg.
Sometimes referred to as America's national pastime.
The game of baseball has played an active role in our nation for centuries.
Okay, thanks, social studies essay.
Yeah, what?
Also for centuries?
I guess, yeah.
Sure.
It's like 101 years, you know?
Yeah.
It's more than one century, so it's plural.
When I was a child, I remember observing my grandfathers watching the Indians game on TV or listening- Is it all caps, huh?
It was capitalized.
Hell yeah, hell yeah.
I guess it's supposed to be capitalized, but I still think it's funny.
On TV or listening on their AM radios.
They both loved the Indians back in the day.
Today, I know they are both turning over in their grave with anguish and disgust toward the recent actions.
Hell yes.
So... They fucking hate life after death.
They're distracted by this.
They're furious.
So, yeah.
On the list of, like, good things about changing, the mascot and team name, one, not racist anymore.
Two, it's literally torturing this sheriff's dad and grandpa in the afterlife.
Which is pretty sick.
I'm pretty into that.
Their souls can literally not be at rest.
They will never be at peace.
No, never.
Never.
I think even if another team with a racist name pops up, it won't be the same.
No, it won't.
Did you know that every time you change a racist baseball team's name, a sheriff's dad becomes the slave of Vladimir Lenin in the afterlife?
Okay, let's do that more then.
I know they are both turning over in their grave with anguish.
This rocks so hard.
Just being like, yeah dude, your dad sucks politically correct dicks in hell.
Uh, they both, yeah, I keep reading the same thing.
Um, my wife is a descendant from the Cherokee and Blackfoot American Indian tribe.
So like, you know, like one, one percent or something.
Yeah, totally.
And it's all just a rumor.
Both she and her relatives never viewed the Cleveland Indians as a biased or prejudiced team, but rather their hometown baseball franchise.
I mean, it could be both, you know?
It literally is your hometown, you know, baseball franchise or whatever.
This is once again another attempt of trying to erase our history due to the outcry of the few that affects the many.
Oh my god.
Our history.
This cartoon.
This name of a team.
Our history.
I have boycotted professional sports for the past three years, and if you were to ask me who the starting lineup was for the Indians, I couldn't tell you.
Yet I'm still so fucking mad.
I'm still furious.
This still matters so much to me.
That's not the point at all.
So fucking funny, dude.
Like, this guy, he's picturing his dad being, like, you know, poked with hot pokers, you know, from, uh, like, by, like, I don't know, you know, Karl Marx or whatever in hell.
Uh, and also he has, like, forbidden himself from watching professional sports for the last three years.
Yeah.
What a psycho.
Which is, like, scary because what is he now doing with those, that, those hours of time?
Yeah, probably working more, arresting more poor and brown and black people.
He just goes to work on Sundays now.
No more football.
I couldn't tell you anything about this team that I'm really mad about.
Some may question, if I don't care to watch or follow their progress, why should I care about their name change?
Yeah, some might ask that question.
Weird.
The fact is that the general standpoint is not about this particular position taken by the team.
This is written so far.
It's so annoying.
The fact is that the general standpoint, the general stand standpoint, you know, is not about this particular position taken by the team, but rather the principle of the decision making process.
It's about the principle of the decision making process, not the particular standpoint.
No, like that, that you're, you're, you're right, except for you're on the wrong side here.
It is the principle of the thing.
That's why we're doing it.
The principle of the thing is you have to keep the racist thing.
Just on principle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
These unfortunate decisions are being made while continuously impacting individuals and industries across the nation.
How?
How's it happening?
What's going on?
It's just making people mad.
It's just, like, making you mad.
Once again, you, who doesn't even watch it, why should they listen to you?
You've already boycotted because, yeah, you saw, like, a guy who said, hands up, don't shoot.
You know what I mean?
You saw a guy say the phrase systemic racism when he was getting interviewed or something like that and you decided never to watch baseball again.
Why should they fucking care what you think?
Because it's about the principle.
And also because I can like arrest your family members that live in my district.
Yeah.
It's continuously impacting individuals and industries across the nation.
Both lawmakers and decision makers need to begin to think about the majority of their constituents before caving to the impulsive demands being made by a small group of the public.
And was it the people making these demands were Native American organizations?
Mm-hmm.
They've been doing it for years.
People who were supposedly being honored by the racist cartoon.
Yep.
Yep.
I saw a couple comments that were like, listen, I'm from Cleveland.
The only people who cared about or the majority of the people who cared about this were white liberals.
And then, so let's just go to the demographics of Cleveland, and oh yeah, it's white liberals.
Yeah, weird.
It's 66% who voted Democrat in the last election.
It's, you know, it's probably not all white over there, but you know, that's like, that's the majority of that area.
You know, I think people should probably go do, like, a wellness check on the white guys who would wear headdresses to the games and paint their bellies.
Yeah, you know they're still going.
You know that, like, fucking, uh, Turning Point USA is gonna put them in, like, their list of, uh, this month's heroes or something like that.
They're gonna buy them season tickets.
When they fall off the back edge of the stands because they drank too many double-decker beers or whatever, they're gonna get listed in the Victims of Communism Memorial.
I want that.
I'm gonna go rub their name with a crown.
Respectfully, Bruce Zekowski.
Thanks, Bruce.
Thanks, Bruce.
Thanks, Sheriff Zekowski.
At one point, I forgot that's who this was.
I forgot that this person actually has a position of power.
And it's fun.
I mean, like, this is me being, I guess, a little optimistic or maybe a little like, you know, Bill Maher smug or Jon Stewart smug.
But I just I like that both of these topics had just, you know, our our enemies outing themselves as like, The biggest people who cry wolf, the most terrible people, and just kind of forcing everybody who sees what they read to like reassess which side they're on.
Yeah.
I don't, I don't know.
I, I'm, I'm probably, I would say that the idea of like changing the Cleveland Indians, there's like more people that are for that than there are for defunding the police.
Oh, probably.
That's probably pretty easy.
It might be a similar number of people.
It might be the same people.
But if it's not the same people, and you're still like, oh, you know, cops are fine, or whatever, and then you see the sheriff use his official masthead and stationary, demanding to keep the racist team name, you're like, maybe all sheriffs aren't that good and smart.
There's someone out there like, have we thought about just reforming the name instead?
We could just reform the name.
Yeah, we should give the name more money and then put three racist cartoons.
What if we just use a different racist name?
What if we change to a different one?
You know, give them a break.
Well, after someone else, if we give Chief Wahoo riot gear, we won't be able to see as much of his ruby red skin.
Oh, someone someone's someone's going to draw something like that.
Yeah, there's gonna be a Punisher logo of Chief Wahoo.
A Chief Wahoo Punisher.
It's just gonna be like, Chief Wahoo from the eyes up, from the nose up, and the bottom's gonna be the Punisher teeth.
That's less racist.
That would be less racist.
Yeah, I think it's just, oh no, there's one comment from this.
But yeah, once again, it's great to see these people show their asses.
Mary Massaros Hannah says, everyone feels the same way, Sheriff.
Disgusting that they ruin the heritage of our great Indians.
I would think it would be an honor to be named after a baseball team.
Oh!
No, they were just Native Americans until the great run that the Cleveland team had and they showed this nasty, and you know what I thought to myself?
That's like those Native Americans.
I'm gonna start calling them like the Championship Baseball Team.
The entire race of, you know, multiple different tribes and a different number of cultures, they saw your shitty cartoon and they were like, hey, we want to be that.
Yeah, that's us.
Can we do that?
We're going to call ourselves Indians now.
We're going to name our... And then the white liberals frickin' yank it out from under them.
Son of a... Another broken promise to the Native Americans.
uh yeah thanks for listening folks if you want more episodes you can support us at patreon.com slash minion death cult p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com slash minion death cult uh last episode on the patreon feed a banger if i say so myself absolutely we covered the uh incredibly cringe uh What if every one of my songs was a novelty song about how racist I am?
Country artist Buddy Brown.
Yeah, definitely stuff that's in our wheelhouse on this show.
Go ahead and look up Buddy Brown, then look up the episode.
Look up the top tracks from Buddy Brown on Spotify.
Don't play any of them though.
It'll give you the mind virus.
Yeah, so $3 a month gets you a bonus episode every single week.
That's a really good deal.
$5 a month gets you that same weekly bonus episode, as well as bi-weekly episodes of Tony's brand new podcast, Last Responders.
I think I talked it up pretty big on the Patreon episode, but I listened to the most recent episode of Last Responders.
That show is so fucking wild.
I love hearing you Try to explain it to your guests who would not believe what you were saying if they hadn't watched it themselves?
Absolutely.
That's the whole appeal of the show, I think, is You gotta believe me when I tell you that the show's... the last response is fantastic.
And then you gotta believe me that the episode you're gonna watch after you listen to the episode is still gonna be even better because there's no way... we don't have the technology for me to contain it other than just replaying it, you know, scene for scene.
It's, yeah, it's been a good time.
I fucking love it.
And I love everyone telling me that they've been enjoying the show now because it's really fun.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think the way I'm going to describe the show, the actual show, 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 Lone Star, is it's like if Modern Family were about first responders and there was hardcore gore in every single episode from compound fractures or people being burned in a pool of acid.
At Cory Joffle on Twitter said that Lone Star is like what it would be like if Hillary won.
Yeah, that's what we're missing.
Yeah, it's exactly that.
There but with the grace of God go we.
Okay.
Yeah.
Thanks for the show.
Write to us.
Thanks for the show.
Thanks for listening to the show.
You can contact us at MinionDeathCult at gmail.com.
MinionDeathCult on all your social media.
And I'm at Flealdy on Twitter, F-L-I-E-L-D-Y.
It's a combination.
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