All Episodes
June 21, 2021 - Minion Death Cult
01:03:05
Another attempt by the liberal snowflakes to shove blacks down our throats

This week we cover Juneteenth, and how even a symbolic overture to Black America is unacceptable to the country's right wing. It's a cornucopia of conservative grievance as the boogeymen of critical race theory, satanic panic, and protestant work ethic unite to bemoan a newly recognized federal holiday. Music: Ritchie Havens - Freedom Support the show for $3/month at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode every week, as well as instant access to hundreds of hours of previous bonus episodes right in your podcast app.

| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when the swig is going to get yourself.
Follow their environment, don't stop.
Stay tuned.
I just took a swig of water, right?
And then there was like some sort of like, floaty in my mouth, you know?
Like some sort of debris that was in my teeth.
And like, I don't recognize that texture from like, a couple days.
I don't know what that was.
Oh wow, this mysterious floater in your mouth.
It was a little sweet and a little, I don't know what was going on there.
I had something into my teeth that I couldn't tell if it was like a hair or like a little sprig of herb or something.
I was just like, oh well, down the hatch.
Yep, here it goes.
Alright, I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
A new holiday is responsible.
We all hate them, don't we folks?
These frickin' holidays.
Preventing us from going to work.
Making us, like, celebrate and have a good time and shit.
Right?
Just flooding the market with new things to buy, you know?
New cards, new gift baskets.
It's insane.
We hate that in America, but don't worry folks because we are documenting it.
Yeah, what's up everybody?
It's Minion Death Call.
It's your show for the week.
I am back.
From vacation.
We had a bit of technical difficulties last week, so there was a slight delay in the Patreon episode.
We recorded it three days before we didn't release it, and then four days before we did release it.
I hope everybody enjoyed that episode.
Very weird movie that it's still stunning to me is getting the like indie darling release treatment, you know, from Neon.
Distributors, the same people who did Parasite and who are doing, I think, Gaia, which is like a movie Ani and I want to see.
It's one of those things where like, it's like when you get the car and then you see a car everywhere.
I had never heard of this movie and now I'm seeing it way too much and I'm like, oh fuck, I didn't realize how hard they were taking this, how serious they were taking this.
Pretty wild.
It's like when you buy a 2004 Scion TC, fresh white paint, you get behind the wheel and you look around and it's only hot girls driving that car.
Yeah.
And you're like, what the fuck?
What did I just associate myself with here?
And you're like, how am I going to let everyone know that I am in fact a dude driving this car?
I have an idea.
Stickers of anime girls on the side of the car, in the windows, maybe with fat titties to let them know that I like fat titties.
I could put a sticker, a personalized die-cut sticker that you get at one of those kiosks at the mall, if they still have them, that says I eat ass in the Star Wars font.
Just solid blue, just blue vinyl, right on the side of my car.
Hell yeah.
Let them know that you party, and are not a girl.
Exactly.
Yeah, so thank you to all the new Patreon supporters, all the new subscribers.
As always, you can support this show, help us pay some bills, and get weekly bonus content.
at patreon.com slash minion death cult p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com slash minion death cult for three dollars a month you get four bonus episodes that's one every week including instant access to the bonus episodes that we've been releasing for like two years now so that is uh hours and hours of instant content to uh fully melt your mind while you uh while you're at work while you're home on the holiday uh something that you can
I find it's a great thing to put on a barbecue over the outdoor speakers.
Just kind of have ambient sound.
for living in this country that profits and thrives on the death and misery of others.
I find it's a great thing to put on a barbecue over the outdoor speakers.
Just kind of have ambient sound.
It's a little weird when I do it at my house, but I think it'd be cool if you did it at yours.
Yeah, I think that in combination with only having vegan meats at your barbecue is why there's such a success.
It is that combination of things, yeah.
So yeah, we have just a fun, psychotic episode for everybody today.
As you may have guessed from the intro, we're talking about that Juneteenth.
The newly created federal, at the federal level at least, Holiday, uh, that recognizes, uh, the, I guess, last group, uh, technically the last group of, uh, African American slaves to be freed, which technically occurred two years after the Emancipation Proclamation in the state of Texas.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it did take time for things like that to travel.
And not so much travel, but more or less in force.
So yeah, it took a good two years for people to actually get free.
And then actually, there's a lot of documentation that there was still a lot of slavery happening for decades afterwards.
But it's okay.
We got a good date.
June 19th is when the ones in Texas were finally free, when we were finally free in Texas.
And yeah, that's when we celebrate it.
The actual freedom.
Right, and this is a holiday that's been celebrated for like 150 years, you know?
Yeah.
Starting in Texas, but, you know, expanding outward and sort of being like, I don't know, a good demarcation of when the, I don't know, the American promise of freedom was, you know, let's just say for all intents and purposes, realized for everybody in this country.
I have seen that one that's pretty interesting.
It says... I'm getting the numbers wrong, but it's about the same.
I just know that on Juneteenth, officially, that had freed literally twice as many people as were freed on the Independence Day we celebrate on July 4th.
There were half as many colonizers on July 4th as there were slaves that were freed on June 19th.
Years and years later.
But how wild is that?
July 4th is obviously the big one, right?
Yeah, so a lot of people, well this was this, you know, I guess we can talk about like briefly because a lot of this stuff is probably going to come up as we address, you know, various freakish responses to the new federal holiday.
But how do you feel about the Biden administration, Congress, and all that signing this into law, Tony?
Um, I mean, it's it's cool.
Uh, I I kept thinking about how Did they realize that it was on a weekend like they do it because it was on a weekend this weekend And this year I like they forget what's gonna happen when it doesn't land on the weekend I don't I don't see this is gonna be one of those federal holidays.
I think it's just gonna get ignored a lot but I mean, I'm Cool, I'm happy that the post office gets a day off, but it just feels hollow with everything else going on.
It just feels hollow.
And it was like, nobody's asking for that.
Nobody was asking for that at all, but I'm also not mad at it.
It just feels hollow.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, of course I know what you mean, Tony.
No, but I think it's cool because a lot of people aren't aware of The history in this country, you know, a lot of things about the history in this country.
I think it's a cool thing to talk about, a cool thing to remember that not everybody was free on the 4th of July in 1776.
I think it's a decent thing to acknowledge.
Yeah, I think it's a relatively easy thing for Congress to do instead of raising the minimum wage or making sure people in the poorest communities in this country have access to clean water or infrastructure, that sort of thing.
Mostly a symbolic victory, I mean it's almost entirely a symbolic victory, but that's not to say that symbolic victories don't also have some importance.
What I do really, really like about this though, I think the biggest victory here is that, so Juneteenth, you won't, unless you come from a metropolitan area with like a strong black cultural background in that area, or you're from Texas in the south, you haven't heard of Juneteenth until maybe four or five years ago.
Oh, this is like something that's kind of only more recently come into like common pop culture, right?
So what's happened is now that it's a federal holiday, we're recording this on the 20th.
So it was yesterday.
I saw people getting married.
I saw white people having like vintage markets and doing all this stuff.
They just don't even know about that.
Hopefully by this time next year when they do it, there's going to be like a public.
Oh, that's a bad look.
That's a.
The bad luck.
Oh, you got married on Juneteenth?
That's weird.
Why did you make that day about you?
That's strange.
So that's a cool little victory that hopefully we can, you know, live on for a minute.
I felt the same way when I saw a couple getting married on May 4th.
I was like, what the heck, guys?
This is supposed to be... This is nerd culture here that you're attacking, basically, and nerds do not get married.
Well, we will say that most people getting married on May 4th are getting married because it's May 4th and they are going, walking down the aisle with buns on their, you know, buns on the side of their head and a droid ring bearer.
Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it.
So how do you, you know, I don't know if you're joking or how serious you are, like what would you like to see white people doing in Observation of Juneteenth?
I mean, nothing?
I don't know.
It's kind of whatever white people would be mad at other people for doing on July 4th.
You know what I mean?
Because you're taking away attention for it, right?
So it would be like, I don't know.
You know what I'm saying?
You're not giving it... Not that I want you to give respect to anything like that.
I don't really... There's nothing I want when people do here.
It's fine.
Let me read this.
You know what I would like?
I would like them to maybe just leave us the fuck alone.
Although I wasn't able to go, the local Juneteenth event here in the Lennon Empire was immediately, during setup, dispersed by the police.
You know, had to move locations.
Only so that they can like...
Only so they could arrest one of the people who was setting up and then help set up one that they were throwing themselves.
Yeah, well that shows that they actually do know their history.
They do know what the celebration's about and viewed it as a threat.
And they're bad.
Yeah, so maybe just leave us alone for a day.
That'd be cool.
See, let me read this comment.
You know, I had it for later, but Corey Henningsen says, Maybe you haven't noticed that many black Americans are forbidding anyone else to take part in celebrations, stating that Juneteenth, quote, isn't meant for you.
It's a divisive holiday.
America is split between U.S.
citizens and black Americans.
There's a talk about replacing the U.S.
flag's stars with multicolored stars, removing all white colors in an attempt to quote be inclusive.
I wish I was making this up.
That's a good thing about being like a Republican freak online is you don't ever have to actually quote make anything up because there's always someone more deranged than you telling you exactly what you want to hear.
Yeah, you have read this.
That's kind of the nice thing about it.
You've read it, so you feel good about saying it.
So this thing about, you know, many black Americans are forbidding anyone else to take part in celebrations.
Now, I've seen maybe one or two, like, tweets?
Like black people in entertainment or whatever who are like, white people shouldn't get this day off from work or whatever.
That's like, I don't even think this person saw that.
Now obviously Juneteenth isn't quote meant for white people but that's not like What a historical holiday is about, it's like, it's celebrating like a specific event, and it feels to me, you know, it feels to me like you could also celebrate Juneteenth because you're happy that like, human beings were freed from slavery.
Yeah, you're happy that you're not participating in this awful thing anymore.
I don't know if that would be an affront to the black community if you were like, hey, this is a cool holiday.
Yeah, no, I mean, I've never seen that.
It would be funny.
I do like the joke of, you know, I don't think that white people should have to work that day.
I think they should have to work that day with no pay.
And I think that's how it should go.
But yeah, that's not real.
If you're going to be a white person and you want to go to those things, yeah, maybe Maybe know someone that's there.
Maybe ask to volunteer.
Maybe make yourself useful.
Maybe see if you can provide anything.
Maybe don't just show up for a plate.
Dude, this guy does not know any black people whatsoever.
He's made it a point not to know any black people.
Well, he doesn't like to hang out with non-US citizens.
Yeah, that's cool, man.
I also like removing all the white colors from the flag to be inclusive.
Did you know that black radicalists are attempting to seize every white Scion TC owned by a young, hot white girl?
In this country, in order to provide inclusivity to this nation.
Do you think he just saw the African American flag for the first time?
I think so.
Yeah, because I mean, that is the only one I like.
That one is hard as fuck and that's what I have on my bike.
Well, it's funny because we'll get to it in a second, but the Republican Party of Texas posted, like, an infographic about Juneteenth.
And they are trying to, like... The Republican Party of Texas is trying to own Juneteenth, which, as you can imagine, would... And I don't mean own it to, like, you know, make fun of it.
I mean, like...
No.
To lay claim to Juneteenth, which, as you may expect, provides some funny responses in the comments section.
But in there, I clicked through the link to read about it, and they have the African American flag.
They have a little graphic as part of the document that shows the history of Juneteenth or whatever, and I thought that was like, wow.
They really don't expect anybody to look at this.
Yeah, that is pretty bold, because people don't like it.
People, when they see it, and they take a second and they don't like it, I've been asked if it's like a Christmas thing, because it is black, red, and green.
But then when you tell them what it is, they're like, oh, the one we have isn't good enough for you?
And I just say, no, it's not, actually.
It sucks, actually.
It actually sucks.
So yeah, like I was saying before, This passed pretty easily, this new holiday passed pretty easily in Congress with some, you know, notable Republican opposition.
I mean, you know, like I think 70 or 40 Republican, I mean 17 or 40, I don't remember, House representatives voted against it, but otherwise it passed and The reasons for voting against it were pretty good.
I think a congressman from Wisconsin voted against it because he didn't want to give a paid holiday to workers.
Yeah, that's pretty gross.
No one wants that.
Couldn't really get a better example of the intersection between class and race.
It's like, oh yeah, maybe I do have, as a working white person, maybe I do have something in common with the black struggle in this country.
And that the powers that be are tying them explicitly together.
You don't deserve another day off, and you also don't deserve the history of racism to be recognized.
Well, I mean, think about it.
I mean, you guys got so mad that we weren't paying people for work, and now you just want us to pay them for no work?
That makes... Is work valuable or not?
We've gone too far.
We've gone too far in the other direction now.
We need to bring just a... You know, it's like how dumb libs are like... I don't know, that's mean.
I shouldn't say that, but like... Let's just say not-as-engaged liberals will be like, Capitalism without socialism is tyranny, but socialism without capitalism is also tyranny.
We need a little bit of both.
And that's the argument right here.
It's like slavery without pay is bad, but pay without slavery?
That's also bad.
We need something in the middle, you know?
Uh, so, there was that, and I just, I thought that was interesting.
Like, just an explicit example of how the working class is tied to, like, racial struggle in this country.
Insane.
I love it.
We love to see it.
Yeah, they definitely don't want, that's, that is, that is one of their biggest worries.
They've, they did the math for how much it's gonna cost them over the next five years.
And they hate it.
And then I saw, personally, another very funny response in one of my Teamster groups.
There was a cross post of a Juneteenth, like, you know, like the Teamster logo with, like, breaking chains around it.
It said, happy Juneteenth.
And this guy, Justin, he said, celebrate freedom, dot, dot, dot, by not going to work, dot, dot, dot, the hell?
No, bro, exactly!
Like, that's exactly... Wait.
Don't you want to have the freedom to be told what to do?
I think what Justin's trying to say is in order to be free, you have to work.
Work actually makes you free.
And somebody else, a wise man, also said the same thing.
I think his name was Jesus.
I think it was Jesus who said, uh, work makes free.
You know, in whatever ancient, uh, Jesus language he spoke.
It's something about, like, it's not about what you do for yourself, but how much money you make for your boss.
That's, that too.
I think that's a proverb.
Yeah.
Um, so I just, yeah, celebrate freedom by not going to work.
This guy's like, this guy's like trying so hard to be Hank Hill.
This guy sucks.
True, true freedom is when you get to open that brand new box of regulator valves and install them one by one.
You know, years ago, I wouldn't have been able to do this.
Years ago, you wouldn't have been able to do this because you weren't allowed in the same neighborhood because of the color of your skin, but now you get to come into work and get paid to be here.
The only freedom I need is the freedom to report for duty every day.
Shut the fuck up, dude.
What are you talking about?
I love this guy in a Teamsters group, like, hey, we all love working, right, everybody?
Working is what, uh, that's what I would do in my free time.
I mean, I think we should get no paid holidays, right, everybody?
Dude, why do people want to be managers so bad?
So bad.
It's like, do you think, do you think there's managers reading this?
Who are you doing this for, bud?
Um, the, uh, one of the main and, you know, opposition to, uh, this law to, to the new holiday, uh, is Congressman, uh, Paul Gasar, uh, who said, we have one Independence Day and it applies equally to all people of all races.
Uh, and I would just say, no, it only applies to U.S.
citizens, which as we learned is not black people.
Yeah, that's been covered earlier.
I wonder why black people feel like they would need a different acknowledgement of their freedom when you have the right wing saying things like, uh, black people are not U.S.
citizens.
I wonder why.
What is it about?
Yeah, there's that sentiment out there.
And Karen replies, he is absolutely positively on point.
One and only one Independence Day!
And if you don't like it, tough shit.
And I think this is funny because, like, no, like, they passed a law.
There's a second Independence Day now.
And like, if you don't like it, tough shit.
Get out of here.
If you don't like it, I'll help you pack, you know?
It's like saying, there is no Affordable Care Act, and if you don't like that, tough shit!
Yeah.
Maybe you can keep screaming about it.
That's fun too.
Also the whole idea of, you know, you were granted freedom on July 4th and that's what it was, and that day you were given freedom, but you better not try to do something else that is like another freedom day.
You're not free to do that.
Yeah.
You can't do that.
There were so many people who got the Revolutionary War and the Civil War confused.
They're like, all black people were granted freedom on July 4th, 1776!
Like, that's our history!
And you can try to erase it, but it's still true.
So many good responses to this.
Donnie Lusby said, another attempt by the liberal snowflakes to shove blacks down our throats.
Yep, yep.
The liberal snowflakes is who are doing this.
And you know, I don't know if that's true.
Also, shut up.
Don't you see it?
They still don't see it.
They still don't see how sensitive they are, do they?
Listen, I don't care if you're black, white, purple, or whatever.
Just keep it in the bedroom.
Yeah, just do it in front of my face, okay?
Quit shoving it down my throat.
Chick's shoving it down my throat, right?
It's so funny, oh my god.
So there's this news item, this event in American history, the creation of this national holiday.
Sparked a a very similar like I don't know reminded a lot of people of critical race theory a lot of people were Complaining about how this is critical race theory at its finest, but I mean that sarcastically.
It's not very fine actually you know and it is like
This critical race theory hysteria, which we've talked kind of obliquely on the show, critical race theory being just teaching that there is a systemic racism ingrained in the foundation of this country, it's become a flashpoint on the right in the same sort of panicky, hysterical, reactionary way that the satanic panic
happened and also the like i mean ongoing anti-lgbt panic you know as as it applies especially to uh school children as it applies to uh what materials are being taught in in school
And, you know, like I saw Candace Owens accuse teachers of being pedophiles because there were like sexually explicit material in sex ed classes or whatever that she called pornography.
And she was like, listen, if your teacher is showing your children, if your children's teacher is showing them pornography, you don't call the school, you call the police.
Like that sort of thing, you know, really wanting to get teachers like houses bombed, like, you know, I don't know, uh, abortion doctor or something.
Um, and this comment right here, which again, is they're trying to shove blacks down our throats.
Is the same exact language that is used in terms of LGBT equality is also used in terms of like religious freedom.
It's all just the same argument over and over and over again.
You're not allowed to be who you are because that is like shoving a cock down my throat.
I would be fun to take these same arguments and just replace like critical race theory with like organic biology.
And it's like because that's the whole thing is it is just you're just educating people you're not they're not telling you whether it's right or wrong you're just presenting what's supposed to be happening and we all know that critical race failure is not going to do that justice but it's going to be something um that at least acknowledges like the economic impact that slavery had and you know the the the cast and all that um but it's not gonna ruin anybody like no you can't just you can't just keep these things a secret from people
they're gonna find out that black people exist and they're gonna find out that black people are pretty bummed about like the the you know the the hand we've been dealt well and that's that's the other aspect of this too is that the liberal snowflakes are the ones trying to shove this down our throat or whatever We're not the snowflakes, the ones pulling our hair out over the creation of a federal holiday.
That's not snowflake behavior whatsoever.
Me possibly getting a day off from work, being the end of the world?
That's not snowflake behavior.
Recognizing an important moment in history and enshrining it into the federal holiday system.
That's what snowflake behavior is.
I can't remember how I was attaching this to what you were saying.
What were you just saying, Tony?
They're just keeping it a secret.
You can't keep listening to a secret from people.
They've still got to find out about it.
Right because okay so yeah what this what this is is this is like teaching the history this is teaching the history that supposedly like Antifa or BLM was trying to erase you know by tearing down confederate statues or whatever like this is the history of this country and it's something that like I was taught in elementary school probably in a in a much less uh explicit or a much less Uh, effective manner.
But, you know, you are taught about, like, systemic racism to a certain degree.
Like, critical race theory, I believe, has been, like, incorporated into lesson plans for a long time.
It's just, it was never, like, lumped under the critical race theory umbrella that's a nice, like, scare, you know, scare word.
Yeah.
Scare phrase.
Scary phrase for these people.
It's told now as like, slaves were handed.
And then black people were cool.
It wasn't our fault that they started gangbanging.
That's basically how it's taught.
But also, that's not... We grew up in Southern California.
One of the biggest fears of this thing is there are a bunch of states where the curriculum, because of states' rights, does not reflect that.
I'm almost positive that you're not required in Texas to teach that there were slaves in Texas.
I don't think they acknowledge it.
I think it's that bad.
It's funny because, yeah, they're very proud about the fact that Juneteenth originated in Texas, which is weird considering that it was because Texas was refusing to free their slaves.
So a Union army had to come down into Texas two years after the Emancipation Proclamation and force them to free their slaves.
Exactly.
That part's for sure not taught.
And if it's a federal thing, then okay, hold on, this is federal now.
Now we might actually have to be forced to acknowledge you in our curriculum.
Right.
And what if they come out with a stamp?
What if there's a Juneteenth stamp?
We're done for.
We can only hope that they write Juneteenth in cursive so that no children will be able to read it.
That's our last hope.
Yeah.
Trish and so going off the the back of like uh education how important education is in this country and what you know what they are teaching children and more importantly what they're not teaching children we have Trish Tenedor uh who says the real independence day is July 2nd when the cabal took over they changed it to the 4th to celebrate their pagan holiday it will go back to the 2nd thanks to our president parentheses Donald Trump
I've never heard that one.
That's a good one.
I do like that this is beyond our country being attacked.
This is our Christian values and we're fighting pagans now.
It's been hundreds of years now of the wrong one.
We're not going to have an even more wrong one.
This person is so cool because they've conflated One of my favorite conspiracy theories with, I think, the invention of Christmas?
Like, one of my favorite conspiracy theories we've talked about on the show is how there's like, it's a fake constitution.
The constitution we have right now is fake because it was swapped out back in, you know, the 1700s.
It was swapped out to make crimes legal.
Mm-hmm.
They swapped it out so that now crime and and evil is actually legal and good now and there's nothing we can do because the Constitution says that it's good.
They've conflated that with like the, I believe, true history of Christmas which is that Christmas was like deliberately positioned on December 25th to like coincide with a pagan holiday to make the transition to Christianity easier for for different, uh, you know, uh, uh, groups.
And so they've somehow combined, I think those two in their mind to say that the real secret, the real secret historical independence day was July 2nd, but in order to, to rid the holiday of its power, uh, they, they moved it to July 4th.
That's awesome.
And the reason the pagans love July 4th is because that's 7-4, which we all know is a non-standard time signature.
It's an irregular time signature, 7-4, that all the most demonic bands use.
Like Hella, Helms Ali, Helmet, other bands starting with H-E-L.
That's another code, but we can't even get into that.
That's a whole other podcast.
Halloween uses seven.
I love that.
Yeah, they robbed it of its power by moving it two days.
It's funny.
These people have this kind of thing where they almost feel like Jesus wasn't American, you know?
Like, it's all one history.
The world's like, they don't understand that There were thousands of years between these events they think happened, you know?
This is all, like, relative history.
So yeah, they do get them all convoluted like that pretty easily.
And it results in hilarity.
I just feel like if we moved it back to July 2nd, like, I would actually like America then.
If we moved it back to July 2nd, I would be like, holy shit, wow, I'm actually—it would be like if we reverted back to the megahertz tuning format that we used to have that opened up the sacred geometry in your mind, you know?
Like the middle C, but it's actually tuned to the right frequency, you know?
I feel like it's the same thing with July 2nd.
Like, if we started saying, Happy 2nd of July, like, that would resonate with my mind in such a patriotic way.
I would just, like, be glowing with a patriotic resonance inside my body if we celebrated Independence Day on July 2nd.
Think about how powerful you'd be.
What if you can do this, but you're still a patriot?
Oh my god.
It's hard to imagine.
It's hard, like, you know, the two-dimensional creature can't see off the paper.
Can't see outside the piece of paper.
So, like, we can only hope that Donald Trump does that.
Was that in, like, the Nicolas Cage movies?
Da Vinci Code?
I don't even think that... No, that's not... Was that part of all that stuff?
It's the same thing, dude.
You know what I mean, yeah.
The Da Vinci Code was like there's a secret Bible.
The National Treasure was probably like there's a secret holiday that nobody knows about.
And it's July 2nd, actually.
But they didn't make it up, though, so who cares?
Diane Johnson says, yes, we have one Independence Day and that is the 4th of July.
So she doesn't know about July 2nd, but we'll just go with it.
And that is the 4th of July.
The silly new Fed holiday is just that silly.
It is one.
It is for one town who was late to join the party.
And that is not something you should want to remember.
Just makes you look dumb.
My observation, but insanity is just exploding like a virus.
Worse than a virus or the virus.
Wow.
Wow.
So they're acknowledging that a virus is here.
That's good.
That's rare.
They're at least acknowledging that a virus is bad.
That's true.
It's like, it's a high bar to clear.
Have you thought about like a thought pandemic?
Thought pandemics are really what I'm scared of.
Um, yeah.
Oh yeah.
Let's, let's tell her to get the thought vaccine.
Let's see how she responds to that.
I like that she's like... We're just celebrating a bunch of people who were too late to free their slaves.
Like, oh those slaves?
Yeah, they were late to the party to be free.
Sucks for you.
Why are we celebrating that kind of behavior?
I feel like, you know, like, whoa, they were on punk time?
Cool.
Yeah, let's create a holiday for them.
I like how you used punk time for this.
Instead of, you know, like the well-established, you know...
Black people time.
I actually heard punk.
I think everyone says brown people time too, but I say black people time.
I heard punk time way before I ever heard the racist version of that.
Well, it's never, it's always used amongst and within, in a term of, you know, within the community.
I would never use it, um, when I'm late with you, I'm as late with you.
When I'm late with like my brother, that's because of BPT.
Got it.
Um, I, yeah, it's, I don't know, it's kind of like the, this is maybe a different thing, but it's like how I feel bad saying JerryRig, not because I'm worried about being racist towards Germans, but I'm just like, I'm aware of the other way, the other term.
And I'm like, this is too close.
I mean, I know I'm making fun of Germans, but it's still too close to the other thing.
And also, you know other synonyms, you know?
Shoddy or something like that, you know?
But if you try to say, oh, this is a Mickey Mouse job, you're like, fuck, Mickey Mouse was based on minstrel show tropes, like, I don't know.
You're damned if you do.
As a white man, your neck is always in that noose in this country, you know?
You can't say anything.
I'm sorry.
Hey, hopefully one day you'll get your own Independence Day, too.
Dude, so many people were like, What about a holiday for the white Union soldiers who freed the slaves?
It's like, you mean Memorial Day?
Yeah!
That exists.
No, there's gonna be some argument to make it on, like, 420.
I mean, that's cool.
A bunch of racists decided to make 420 a federal holiday.
That's cool.
Yeah, I'll take it.
Stoner culture is already racist.
I don't know.
It's half a joke.
I mean, yeah.
The cannabis industry really gave us the ass under the stick there.
I can just see losers on 4chan or reddit or whatever trying to make 420 a federal holiday so they can then pretend it's for Hitler's birthday.
Exactly.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
That was my chain of thought there.
Oh, okay.
You beat me to it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't, like sometimes I put these comments in here and they're kind of long and so I just have to trust that they're good because I'm not gonna like be able to scan it in real time while we're doing the show so I'm just like alright I trust, I trust Alex from 20 minutes ago.
Linda Gulledge says, Democrats wants to divide ever how they can.
So do they think blacks won't see the 4th of July for America's freedom?
Are Democrats trying to take the fourth away?
Asking for a friend rewriting history.
Sobbing emoji.
Smiley devil emoji.
What?
So now they will divide even more so.
Now a gay and every race freedom and not Americans freedoms.
Which.
United we stand, divided we fall.
Sobbing emoji.
We are one nation under God.
Disgusting in my book.
Devil emoji.
But like the cool like furry devil mask.
It looks like a Japanese demon kind of mask.
Yeah.
I like that one.
If they do that, dividing by race again.
So dot dot dot dot.
This is what I think.
Not cool.
Not cool.
I wasn't sure if you thought it was cool, because you did say disgusting, but I really wasn't sure if you were saying that the fact that we're like a nation under the god was disgusting.
This is wonderfully written.
I also like the rewriting of the history.
It's like, no, that's not what's happening.
They're not inventing a day in the past.
They're acknowledging a day in the past.
Yeah, this is um... There's one...
I mean, this comment right here is, like, gets to the heart of the matter that's, like, so funny about this subject.
Beverly said, Why make a holiday to celebrate this, parentheses, when we are told to erase the past history, dot dot dot, especially of slavery?
If we have a holiday celebrating this, dot dot dot, to me, we are drudging up the past all over again, dot dot, just saying, dot dot, shrugging emoji.
Now they're correlating this, like you said before, they're correlating acknowledging the freedom of slaves with the celebrating of racist generals.
Because they're saying that's the history.
We're not trying to erase it.
It's not erasing.
It's not celebrating anymore.
No one wants to erase history.
That's not possible.
It's so funny to pore over these comments like they're dense philosophical writings, but that's kind of how you have to do it.
Yeah.
Like, you really have to extrapolate on every single sentence to make any of this make sense.
Because, yeah, why make a holiday to ce- so when she says, why make a holiday to celebrate this, she's talking about, like, quote, the left.
Why would they make a holiday to celebrate this?
Why make a holiday to celebrate this, parentheses, when we are told to erase the past history?
Right there, she's referring to, like, Tucker Carlson saying the left wants to erase history.
So in her mind, that is what the left is doing.
The left wants to erase history, so why would they celebrate history with this holiday?
Especially of slavery.
That's the interesting part because you would think like the modern right-wing person wouldn't see like Black Lives Matter and say, oh they're trying to erase the historical documentation of slavery.
Yeah.
Like it would kind of be the opposite, right?
That's kind of like the modern right-wing mindset is they're making too big of a deal out of slavery.
Yeah.
So you have to think about this and I would say that I mean this person is probably confused I don't even know if this person could explain why they feel this way but to me it's like
The argument, the only argument that really makes sense for all your like disparate right-wing grievances to say that the left is trying to erase history when they pull down Confederate general statues is that the Democrats were the Confederate generals.
So they're trying to hide the fact that the Democrats are the ones that did slavery.
That's like the only argument that kind of checks all those boxes, you know?
So when she says, oh, they're trying to erase the history, especially of slavery, I think that's what she means.
That they're trying to erase who did the slavery, who was responsible for it or whatever.
But then if we have a holiday celebrating this, to me, we are drudging up the past all over again.
So with the language that she's using there, it's very clear that she is personally against drudging up history, i.e.
recognizing it, i.e.
talking about it, i.e.
learning about it, respecting it, acknowledging it.
Yep.
So she's trying to own libs by their supposed, you know, desire to erase history in the same moment of saying, hey, we should just forget about that stuff that happened because we don't want to drudge it up.
And I love that.
And the thing is, that argument always pissed me off.
That was forever ago.
Get over it.
We don't need to talk about it.
Why do you want to bring that up?
No, no, no.
You don't want me to bring it up.
You, like the white people, don't want me to bring that up.
Because we didn't do anything wrong there.
You know, all we did was exist there, you know, like, so you don't want to bring it because then you have to have the conversations like, oh, well, who was really doing that?
Just like you're saying there, you know, the Democratic knowledge, whatever, you know?
Well, I would say that it's like...
It implies a guilty conscience, the fact that you don't want to talk about it.
Because I wouldn't say like, oh, modern white people are responsible for slavery.
I would say they've benefited from it to some degree or another, but that's like outside your control.
Like the conversation about white privilege or whatever is is weird because it's like you can't really get rid of your white privilege like you can't it's not something that you can affect until the whole system is reorganized and you can try and like work at making a more egalitarian society which you should be doing which you should be doing but there's no like Um, it's not really a guilt thing.
It's not really like a guilt or a not guilt thing.
It's just like, no, it's the way the system is set up to like, it's like being born to rich parents.
You know, it's like, it's, it's like that.
You're not guilty because you were born to rich parents.
You just benefit from it.
And the least you could do is acknowledge it, you know?
Exactly.
the uh it for you to not want to acknowledge it like shows that you have a guilty conscience or shows that you just do not care about the rest of society like the rest of it's not that you need to grovel on your feet or you need to like you know performatively wear chains in central park or something like that like that's not what it means at all the fact that you think that's what it means Shows that, like, you're racist.
It just shows that you are really cool with how things are, you know?
Thanks for doing the work for me.
Thanks for showing me, at face value, what you're really saying there.
Totally.
And then it's also funny, the argument that people make about how, you know, the argument that, like, Republicans and centrists will make about this sort of thing is like, oh, it happened so long ago, let it go.
Like, the argument that I see a lot in these comment sections is, No black person alive today has ever been a slave.
No black American alive today has ever been a slave.
And, like, that's not true at all.
Like, you hear about that shit happen all the time.
Like, you know, people of all races just, you know, oh, they worked for a family who let them stay in their garage or whatever, you know?
There was recently an article that was, I think, an exposé that was published last year that was like, I inherited my parents' slave and I don't know what to do.
Dear Abby, please help.
No, that's exactly what, it was exactly that.
I remember that, yeah.
But that's the argument.
Oh, if you're alive today, you never experienced slavery and I never owned slaves.
Like, whatever.
The funny thing is, in the same breath, Republicans will tell you, oh, well, it was the Republican Party who freed the slaves.
You know, were the ones that freed the slaves?
Also, you were never a slave.
That happened 150 years ago.
You don't have anything to complain about.
Also, give us credit for freeing the slaves.
Yes, exactly.
Give the modern Republican Party, and me, a guy who's like never stood up for anything less than dinner.
Anything more than dinner, rather, I should say.
Give me credit for that.
Well, I mean, that's why I am a Republican, is because I wanted to be part of the Freedom Party, the party that freed the slaves.
That's why they did it, right?
Because they care about black people so much.
Yeah, and on that tip, we have just a wonderful post from Alan West.
I know this segment's going long.
This might be the whole episode today, because it's just intersecting with so much of what we talk about on this show, and so many things that are going on with this country right now.
Allen Mother Frickin West.
Former congressman from, I guess, Texas?
I thought he was Florida.
Is he Texas?
He might have been both.
No, I don't know.
I think it is Texas.
Yeah.
Republican Party.
He's born in Georgia, right?
He represented Florida's 22nd congressional district and served as the chairman of the Republican Party of Texas.
Okay.
Yeah, that was right.
So just best of both worlds here, folks.
Allen West, right?
What's Allen West, notable black Republican, notable African American asshole Republican, what's his response going to be to the creation of a federal holiday for Juneteenth?
Alan West says, Happy Juneteenth, folks.
It's the day when blacks in Texas learned that they were free.
June 19th, 1865 in Galveston.
But what does today mean?
It's the day when blacks found out that the first Republican president had signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing them from the physical bondage of the Democrat Party.
It was two years later, on July 4th, 1867, that 150 of those same black men met in Houston and established the Republican Party of Texas.
The Democrats, in response, established the Ku Klux Klan.
So again, it is... Listen, I had nothing to do with slavery.
As a white person, I had zero to do with slavery.
As a black person today, you were never a slave.
Also, the DNC are the KKK.
Yeah.
Now.
Right now.
Same people.
Just for the record, black men did establish the Republican Party of Texas.
Democrats, KKK in response to that.
That's all you need to know.
Today, the Democrats are economically enslaving blacks.
So I'm sure he means like by like wage slavery, like low, like subsistence wages where you can barely afford to just stay alive in order to go to work the next day.
I'm sure that's what he means by that.
And have turned inner city communities into modern plantations of welfare and economic dependence.
Oh, okay.
So he means like the, uh, the What's the word?
Why am I blanking on it?
The subsidization.
The way the American government subsidizes poverty wages.
That's what he's talking about in enslavement.
That's the bad part.
The bad part isn't the less than poverty wages.
The bad part is the little piece on top the American government does to keep the whole system running.
Enabling them.
Enabling.
Juneteenth is a celebration of why the Republican Party was established in 1854.
The abolition of slavery.
Only a flaming incompetent idiot would give the party of jackass any credit for Juneteenth.
So this is a, uh, a Republican, uh, fire brand, you know, a Republican, uh, icon saying, Hey, Juneteenth, I know Biden's the one who signed it in a law, but that's all us, baby.
The Republican party, everything, uh, the right wing has been, has been screaming about critical race theory.
About how, like, blacks are shoving themselves down your, you know, infant child's throats or whatever?
Actually, that's us in the Republican Party, everybody!
Aren't you happy to hear from here?
This whole thing is always driving me crazy, too, because the whole... the whole, uh...
You know, painting the teams Republican versus Democrat is so annoying in the first place because whenever I think about the Civil War, I still think about, you know, like, you know, the Union versus the Confederates, right?
Like, that's... I don't think Republican versus Democrat.
And with Juneteenth, I...
Don't even think of it as like a Democrat thing.
I guess it is a Democratic victory because that's really who pushed it.
But it wasn't... Democrats were not throwing Juneteenth celebrations, you know, like two years ago.
Yeah.
This is, you know, it was years and years and years, you know, 200 years if you, you know, over 200 years if you look at the history, Juneteenth, of black people continuing to celebrate and go out there and be heard and make noise and like have a good time on that day.
To where it finally had to be acknowledged a little bit and he's still like, nope, that's, that's, those are Republicans.
Republicans did that.
Nothing to do with that.
Well, and it's the same thing.
It's taking credit for something like one, you know, one military, uh, platoon or squadron or whatever did.
Like, which was a good thing.
Don't get me wrong, but it's like, yeah, that small group of, of soldiers did liberate like that specific town, that specific area of Texas.
Which was good, but it's like, you didn't do that.
You didn't do that, yeah.
You didn't build that.
As a matter of fact, bro, if your family has deep Republican roots, they definitely didn't do that.
It's just, you know what I'm saying?
They were enslaved.
Well, it's wearing the Confederate flag, having the Confederate flag hanging outside your home or whatever, and saying, oh, Democrats were the party of slavery.
Like, it's like, OK.
Totally, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah.
so there were obviously some pretty strong reactions to this and yeah again there was a republican party of texas like post celebrate juneteenth learn more about this special day that originated right here in texas and everybody was like fuck juneteenth In the comment section, you know?
Amy Wilkes says, how to celebrate Juneteenth.
Step one, remind people that it only exists because a white union general named Gordon Granger had to go to Galveston, Texas on June 19th, 1865 to tell the slaves that they were free because their racist Southern Democrat masters conveniently forgot to tell them about the Emancipation Proclamation.
Look it up if you don't believe me.
Knowledge is power.
And this has like a bunch of loves and likes, reacts, you know?
on January 1st.
Step two, repeat step one as necessary.
Look it up if you don't believe me.
Knowledge is power.
And this has like a bunch of loves and likes, reacts, you know?
And I think it's great that she's like, oh yeah, I think it was maybe a white guy who emancipated them from their Democrat who they didn't there was no race.
The Democrats they didn't have a color.
Slave owners.
It's Like, I love saying that the general was white, but not acknowledging that the Democratic slave owners were also white.
Like, what color were the Democratic slave owners, Amy?
That's not, that's not important.
That's not important.
Don't worry about that.
Don't bring race into it, you racist.
Yeah.
And you know, I think, I think that there is some grain of truth to that.
You know, maybe instead of celebrating that day, maybe we should celebrate more like slave rebellions and like master massacres.
Like that's what we should really be celebrating.
I'm good with that.
Yeah.
I'm absolutely good with that.
Um, I don't think I got the comment, but, um, oh shit.
What was it?
Uh, do, do, do.
Man, there was somebody... Anyway, I'll say it if I remember it.
Diana Van Vleet says... Thanks, thank the Republicans for freeing the Libs slaves!
Another Lib backfire!
I love calling slaves Libs!
I'm thinking that like, as, as, you know, an enslaved people, we had any type of political party association or... Yeah.
Get out of here.
Well, uh, yeah.
You want to, you want to go vote for a Democrat.
That's fine.
Just remember I freed you.
Yeah.
You're welcome.
Jesus.
Uh, yeah.
Libs posting their L's, uh, to, to the constitution.
What was the one I was gonna say?
I don't remember.
What are we at on time here?
I got about an hour.
Let's call it for today.
Thanks so much for listening to the show.
Again, you can support us and the work we do.
Help us pay some bills at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
cult p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com slash minion death cult the way that that works is you subscribe at three dollars a month really good deal if you ask me and And they give you a special code, like a string of characters, kind of like a URL, that is called an RSS feed, and that points to a secret podcast full of bonus episodes.
You plug that RSS feed into your podcast app that you currently use, And you get access to hundreds of hours of content, plus a new episode every single week.
And you'll help support the show and get just tons of content.
And again, thanks to all the new subscribers.
For people who ordered a tote...
It's been a learning process making all these totes.
We learned how to make the front of the tote.
We struggled on that and then we got it done, started churning them out.
Now we're learning how to make the back of the tote.
So it's still a process.
Those should start shipping in the next week or so, I would say, pretty confidently.
I was on vacation, so I was not able to get a lot of work done.
My parents were up here, and you know how they are.
You know how those parental units can be, right, everybody?
Tell me about it.
Now that they're gone, I'll have the freedom to churn out some high-quality products for everybody.
But thanks for your patience.
Thanks for supporting the show.
Anything else to add, Tony?
No, again, thanks a lot for supporting us.
It makes me want to come in here and do work on a Juneteenth weekend, in the middle of June, in the middle of Pride, on Father's Day.
I should really have the month off, maybe just a week.
I think I should have a whole week off paid federally too, but I love y'all and I'm going to show up every time.
So thank you for that.
We're here to work.
We're here to work.
Can we get some thank you daddy in the chat for Tony here?
I appreciate that.
Alright, yeah.
Thanks again everybody.
Bye.
Love y'all.
Bye.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom.
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child.
I feel like a motherless child.
Freedom!
Clap your hands now!
Clap your hands now Sometimes I feel like a mother left child
Sometimes I feel like I'm almost gone Sometimes I feel like I'm almost gone Yeah, a long way from my home
Freedom, freedom Freedom!
Freedom!
Export Selection