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March 29, 2021 - Minion Death Cult

01:44:56

Chuck Norris was aborted once, you should see the other guy w/ Low Culture Boil

This week Rax King and Courtney Rawlings of the Low Culture Boil podcast join us to discuss on op-ed on abortion written by the most epic world net daily contributor: Chuck Norris. Listen to Low Culture Boil wherever you get podcasts or at https://lowcultureboil.libsyn.com/2020

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	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
	We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
	It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
	Stay tuned, guys.
	We'll show you exactly what it looks like when people go to the desert.
	Oh, they're in Barbados.
	Stay tuned.
	I'm Alexander Edward.
	And I'm Tony Boswell.
	And we are Minion Death Cult, introducing this podcast, doing a very important part of it, I would say.
	The world is ending.
	Plastic straws are responsible.
	But not in the way you would think.
	We're documenting it.
	What's up, everybody?
	It is your free show for the week.
	Thank you for joining us.
	Also joining us, and in a more important sense than what you, the listener, are doing.
	We say you're joining us to keep up that parasocial relationship, but actually joining us, in a material sense, are people that we like, that we know in real life and like.
	More in many respects better than the listener.
	Oh my god, you guys!
	I love that for me.
	This is perfect.
	Yeah.
	This is so accurate.
	I couldn't agree more.
	Content creators.
	These are the makers, folks.
	These are not the takers.
	We have Rax King and Courtney Rawlings from the Low Culture Boil podcast.
	Thank you so much for joining us, ladies.
	Thanks, bro.
	Thank you, yeah, for having us.
	We're so excited to be here and talk about how the world is ending with you one last time.
	Yeah it's we kind of started the show like said the whole the world is ending thing was like ironic you know because conservatives are freaking out about you know interracial advertisements or like Black Lives Matter in general or gay people but now like those same people are actually causing the world to end probably?
	So it's hard to know what I mean when I say the intro to the show anymore.
	It started off as a joke, and now the world really is ending, and it was gay people's fault all along, and that's the thesis of this podcast.
	That's what the Low Culture Boil is really about.
	Yeah.
	If you can collect all 666 pairs of the Lil Nas X Air Maxes, you can end the world.
	It's like the Thanos ring, but it's just all Air Maxes.
	I understand you are reference to Thanos.
	I'm acknowledging that.
	I mean, that was the coolest part of the reference, was the Thanos talk.
	So this is an episode that I've wanted to do for a while.
	I've been trying to make it happen.
	We had a couple hiccups, but we are finally today going to talk about an important think piece written and posted by a luminary of a very specific medium.
	And, of course, by that I mean Chuck Norris.
	And I think... What better people to talk to about Chuck Norris than the hosts of the Low Culture Boil podcast, which, as far as I understand, focuses on more of your trashy sort of entertainment.
	Does Chuck Norris fall into that category?
	Without a doubt.
	Yeah, not only Chuck Norris movies, but also those absolutely stupid jokes.
	You know, I'm not going to call them stupid jokes.
	They were really good and funny jokes from the early 2000s that were all to the effect of like, Chuck Norris has a bigger dick than you!
	And that was the whole nature of the joke.
	And it's just trashy on two levels.
	It's great.
	I would also say all kinds of martial arts fall under our umbrella, so, you know, double whammy.
	Roundhouse kick, if you will.
	Roundhouse kill!
	Which, you know, it works.
	This article in particular, though, is so much fun, because the headline is, twice as many people condemn plastic straws than abortion.
	Again, this is written by Chuck Norris for WND, World Net Daily.
	Weapons of Net Destruction, that's what I call them.
	Wait, I already forgot what it actually stands for.
	World Net Lately.
	Right, classic.
	WorldNet Lately, that's right.
	Wait, that couldn't be right, though!
	I tried to tell you before, but you just were not listening to me.
	No, no.
	I swear I found that somewhere real.
	Well, not real.
	It was like Christian.com.
	Okay, I copy and pasted it, so... Somebody's at fault.
	So, again, the headline, twice as many people condemn plastic straws than abortion.
	Already off to a great start.
	That's definitely the word you want to use there.
	In a simile, you use as and than.
	The thumbnail of this is great because it's like an ultrasound.
	Yeah.
	And it's an ultrasound of what I believe is a fetus giving the epic Chuck Norris thumbs up from the movie Dodgeball.
	That is just so wonderful.
	How did I not notice that and print it out?
	That is stunning.
	Oh, that makes me want to die a little bit.
	I totally somehow missed that time.
	I don't think I ever saw that one.
	Where's the rest of the body?
	It hasn't developed yet.
	This is still a small baby.
	It only has a hand and every finger?
	It's just got a trucker's forearm.
	That's all you need at that stage of life.
	It's still human, though.
	Yeah, stunning, honestly.
	There's nothing more human than just a thumb giving the thumbs up.
	That's my position on the matter.
	Yeah, just a little emoji at this point.
	Did you know at 20 weeks, a fetus is already able to reference stoner bro comedies from the early 2000s?
	We need to save these.
	These are real people.
	At 15 weeks, a fetus is able to give the Dane Cook super finger.
	Did you guys know that?
	What have you unearthed in my subconscious?
	Why would you say Dane Cook to me?
	You just, like, sent me down a hole.
	Yeah, now we have to, like, add that to our episode list of terrible things we have to cover.
	You sent me back to Madison Square Garden.
	Uh-huh.
	Was that the vicious circle one?
	What was that?
	I don't know, but he, like, apparently sold out Madison Square Garden, which is, like, a really interesting cultural touchstone of that time.
	So tens of thousands of people paid Madison Square Garden money to go see, like, a 35-year-old man with spiked-up hair just, like, just yelling.
	Just yelling.
	That was his whole- He didn't really tell jokes so much as just yell.
	To do a joke that a two-week-old fetus could do, as we just showed.
	I think he also performed unsimulated sex on his 17-year-old girlfriend.
	That's what people were mainly paying to see.
	Oh, fuck.
	Yeah, I forgot about the child bride.
	The Dane Cook child bride situation.
	Well, I can't wait to hear what Chuck Norris has to say about both plastic straws and abortion.
	I feel like it is going to be epic.
	Yeah.
	This Friday, January 22nd, so again, how long I've been trying to cover this, marks 48 years since abortion became legal across the United States.
	I love an op-ed commemorating the 48th anniversary of something.
	He writes this every year, right?
	He definitely writes this article every year and it's like the 47th anniversary, the 48th anniversary.
	I'm surprised he hasn't written, you know, 96 op-eds seeing as how Chuck Norris can do a year in, what, six months or something?
	That was close.
	Yeah.
	Again, yeah, very odd anniversary.
	On January 22nd, 1973, the U.S.
	Supreme Court declared its decision regarding the case of Roe v. Wade, when the highest court in the land ruled that individual state laws banning abortion were unconstitutional.
	From that point onward, abortion on demand was legalized in all 50 states.
	I love the use of abortion on demand.
	Yeah, I haven't heard that in a while.
	Well, it used to be like, the phrase, I think it was the 80s or 90s, was like abortion, like safe, rare, fuck, it was like safe, rare, legal, something else, legal, abortion on, yeah, and then like abortion on demand.
	And then they got rid of the safe, legal, rare part.
	This sounds like an opportunity for Amazon to really step in and maybe do something, you know, we can get like that overnight.
	Ooh.
	Same day, same day abortion delivery?
	Well, I'm honestly not sure he even, like, so plan B may or may not fall under his definition of abortion.
	So, like, Amazon might be close.
	I don't know if you can get a plan B at Amazon, but let's say a CBS.
	You can.
	I've done it, yeah.
	You can get that rush delivery?
	Yeah, you can get Two Day Plan B on Amazon.
	It's a little bit cheaper than at the CVS, too.
	Wow, OK.
	Yeah, I didn't know, but because he does mention as we... Well, I mean, we'll see in a second.
	He says both like terminated and like murdered babies.
	Wait, where are the... I really should have my fax in front of me when I'm speaking.
	But I don't.
	Yeah, this is a very important op-ed, Courtney.
	You want to make sure... Well, I know!
	And all of a sudden, it's like five more paragraphs than I remember.
	Well, a lot of it's quoting God.
	Anyways, continue.
	Oh, thank you.
	Yeah, so a leaked memo from Amazon details all the piss bottles found in obstetricians' waiting rooms.
	After having to perform, you know, 500 abortions a day for $15 an hour.
	I want to know that the guy performing my personal abortion has just shit in a glad bag like 30 seconds prior and maybe not washed his hands.
	That's what I like to think about when I'm getting my abortion on demand.
	I like how they say when you can tell that it's something they don't like when they say on demand.
	Right, they don't want anyone to have it quickly.
	It's, like, not even just you shouldn't have it.
	They don't want you to have it conveniently and at your discretion.
	Well, it's a complete misnomer, like what I was saying earlier, of what the earlier, like, 80s, 90s vibe was, which was, like, to sell this to the normal libo.
	Who they needed to convince, even if you are, and we'll get into this later I'm sure, morally against abortion, it was going to be rare.
	It was going to be on demand, safe, or readily available.
	Not on demand like Plan B is.
	But what I looked up is that he is talking about either terminated or aborted.
	So I think on demand here takes on a whole new meaning in the Plan B era.
	Or even the pill abortion.
	I'm clear what the distinction is.
	I assume that's what terminated means instead of aborted.
	Also the rhythm method.
	I think he counts that as a termination.
	No pull out.
	What else do we got?
	Birth control?
	That might be it.
	Hand jobs.
	That's an abortion.
	You can't even maliciously pray to not have it happen.
	No, certainly not.
	That's against God's will.
	But the demand is like a whole thing where it's like you can't say no.
	You cannot petition the Lord for an abortion!
	You can't say no, you have to... No, give it to me now, is kind of what they're also insinuating with that verbiage.
	I demand this abortion from you, citizen.
	If anything exists, then shouldn't it always be on demand?
	What case can you make for something that should exist but shouldn't be on demand?
	It's always good.
	That's just good.
	If you can get something when you want it, I think that's good.
	Maybe I'm crazy.
	Maybe I'm the crazy one.
	It's very controversial.
	Well, in an earlier piece, he ties it to, like, Obamacare.
	So I think the real fear is that, like, you're not paying a lot for it.
	There's not, like, a... If we have, like, something like universal health care or what they, for some bizarre reason, assumed Obamacare was.
	So he, like, wrote in an earlier, like, 2008 op-ed about, like, defending Christmas, but then it's, like, about... Hold on.
	OK, this is Chuck Norris on Obamacare in 2010, and I think this is what he means by abortion on demand, which what I like I was saying was like universal health care, something like this.
	Lastly, as we near the eve of another Christmas, I wonder what would have happened if Mother Mary had been covered by Obamacare?
	What if that young, poor and uninsured teenage woman had been provided the federal funds via Obamacare and facilities via Planned Parenthood, etc.? ?
	To avoid the ridicule, ostracizing, persecution, and possible stoning because of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy, imagine all the great souls who have been erased from history and the influence of mankind if their parents had been as progressive as Washington's wise men and women.
	Will Obamacare morph into Harrodcare for the unborn?
	Honestly?
	Harrodcare?
	Harrodcare?
	I'm doing the Lionel Hutz fantasy of people dancing with a rainbow behind them.
	That's what I imagine it would have been like.
	Jokes on them.
	Mary did actually have access to like state paid for abortions, but because of bureaucracy and paperwork it took 33 years for it to go through.
	Oh my god.
	Classic Karen Karr.
	That's a boomer ass joke.
	I liked it.
	I thought it was a good trip to the well.
	I appreciated it.
	Uh, what if, what if Flex, oh, God, oh, it's your divine will for me to have your son?
	Yeah, right, buddy.
	Also, he's openly admitting, like, no uterus, no opinion.
	Yeah.
	Like, even today, you're avoiding the ridicule that you need to undergo as an unwed woman.
	But, like, that's just part of becoming a more holy ass bitch.
	Yeah.
	Oh, no, no, we're gonna lose the baby, but it's because we're stoning you.
	Yeah.
	It's not because you're aborting it, like some kind of achievement.
	We're just gonna straight up kill you now.
	Joke's on you, bitch.
	I don't know who I'm talking to.
	It's like this hypothetical pregnant lady that I'm throwing rocks at.
	Her name is fucking Mary, and I can't really speak against her.
	I don't know about all that.
	I'm a Jewish person.
	You're a classic Herod.
	Yeah, I'm a real Herod over here.
	Bringing the Herod vibes.
	So that's cool.
	And we should just say, yeah, abortion is definitely not on demand in most states, let alone all 50.
	Eleven years later, on January 13th, 1984, President Ronald Reagan issued a proclamation designating January 22nd as the first National Sanctity of Human Life Day.
	Wow, getting serious 1984 vibes from this.
	Yes!
	Oh, good one.
	Wow, calling massive cells human life.
	Talk about doublespeak, you know.
	Ever since, tens of thousands of churches continue to recognize the third Sunday in January as a day to commemorate the high value of human life from the womb to the tomb.
	Beautiful.
	And yeah, I think this dude has sold too much life insurance at this point, where he's using the phrase, the high value of human life, like... From the womb to the tomb.
	You don't have to rhyme, sir.
	You don't have to rhyme in your op-ed.
	It's just when I hear the high value of human life, like I'm literally, like, are you trafficking people, sir?
	Are you?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Are you taking a page from Planned Parenthood's playbook and selling these organs on the black market to buy your Ferraris?
	To buy your solid gold kickboxing shorts?
	Or to put in our arm for the COVID vaccine.
	Oh, he gets to that, yeah.
	He does.
	I was not expecting him to get to that.
	I don't know where he thought this was going, but it took a sharp turn.
	It is a stag- it is staggering to think that since 1973, over 62 million Americans have lost their lives in the womb due to being aborted or terminated by their parent.
	Which is whi- I mean, I know that we attempted to get inside the powerful mind of Chuck Norris already, but what's the difference between aborted and terminated?
	Okay, this is what I was trying to understand before and it completely blows my mind.
	I think he's like using the left's language against itself.
	How?
	Powerfully so!
	Because terminated is like the technical, you terminate the pregnancy, right?
	Right, right.
	Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
	So I think he's trying to say, oh, you know, this is the, like, there's no scare quotes around it, which is confusing because normally, I think that's still what he's trying to do.
	Oh my god, yeah.
	Wow, you really have a fucking insight into this man's brain.
	I did not get that.
	It's like concept versus murder.
	Yes.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Like degree.
	And it's kind of funny because like terminated, that's not really a sanitized term because it still just means like kill.
	It just makes me think of the Terminator.
	Like that's where he has led me in my own mind.
	I don't appreciate it.
	I love referring to fetuses as Americans.
	These red-blooded Americans.
	But this was so important!
	This was so important, yes.
	Which is why I say every time I fuck I go, this might be a new American.
	You never know.
	First of all, aren't the conservatives the people trying to end birthright citizenship?
	Which still only happens once you're born.
	So they're not Americans.
	They're just guys.
	Wait, then how would you become a citizen?
	I didn't even know this was on their agenda.
	You would have to have parents who were also born in America.
	They've considered this.
	All the numbers we're hearing are actually skewed.
	All those numbers are only from two citizen parent Abortions.
	So that's all that math is already accounted for.
	They're ready for that.
	Excuse me, ma'am.
	Would you like to take a survey after your abortion for some demographic purposes?
	It's for a Chuck Norris op-ed.
	I would like to note that he got his 63 million Americans from a website called numberofabortions.com.
	Oh shit, that's my favorite website.
	My favorite website.
	The title of the website is abortion space clock.
	Oh no, US space abortion space clock dot org.
	So very confusing.
	Uh, names of the website.
	One is the title and one is the actual URL.
	That abortion clock, is it a coincidence that it's running forward just like the doomsday clock?
	I think not.
	You should really think about contacting Norris with that one.
	That's not a bad one.
	Yeah, that is a good one.
	That could be in the next one.
	His next year's op-ed on the 49th anniversary of Roe v. Wade.
	Then there's like an asterisk about how they got their information and it just explains to you what an abortion is and why it's bad.
	Hell yeah.
	Very reliable website if you ask me.
	That's a footnote.
	That's a real goddamn footnote.
	It just looks like a GeoCities website because this website looks like dog shit.
	He definitely googled number of abortions US and got to numberofabortionsus.com or whatever.
	Flying toasters like popping up aborted toast.
	So it's just bread I guess.
	What was I going to say here?
	Yeah, Americans have lost their lives.
	Like it was D-Day.
	Like they were storming Normandy from the uterus and they were cut down by the forces of cultural Marxism or whatever he's blaming on this.
	As long as Americans are relearning how to respect and get along with one another and even agree to disagree agreeably, Fuck that sentence, incidentally.
	Honestly, when I read it, I was like, good for you, bro.
	Like, am I stroking out right now?
	Am I gonna die having breakfast?
	This is how we got our $1,400.
	Maybe it's high time we re-evaluated the worth we give to the voiceless in wombs, too.
	So, yeah, we should analyze that, because why are we giving them any?
	I like so he's using this because again this was written on January 22nd so this is three days after Biden was sworn in or two days after Biden was sworn in so he's talking about how you know we're talking about unity in America and how we need to bridge the divide and come together and agree to disagree with fetuses I guess in this in this situation but I simply refuse to agree with fetuses I think they should all be sent to re-education camps and Then we'll talk.
	That's what we should replace Terminated with.
	We just had a terrible disagreement with each other.
	Couldn't live together anymore.
	See, that's what you're saying.
	They're talking about problems, not solutions.
	Like, okay, if you don't want abortion so bad, then, like, let's create some sort of, you know, Matrix-style, like, pod that we can plug the baby into.
	And then we can keep care of him that way.
	Yeah, I'm still going to leave the city avoiding parental responsibility, though.
	Yeah, smart.
	I'm just going to agree to disagree agreeably.
	Oh, well, there you go.
	You figured it out, Rax.
	That's all anybody can do in this mixed up world is agree to disagree agreeably.
	Oh, baby girl, you fucking found that head of the nail.
	I don't agree to that.
	Hey, while we're during the pandemic, during COVID and all that, while we have an eviction moratorium, I think we should extend that to the tenants who really matter.
	The voiceless in wombs.
	We gotta stop giving these people amazing content.
	That is too good.
	I fell for that.
	You're talking about the listener, right?
	That's very good propaganda.
	This should be a Patreon episode for sure.
	- Just like an embryo with the word squatters rights on it. - Wait, should we make this a t-shirt?
	I'm like, not kidding.
	That's like a very good idea.
	It will work against us, I promise you.
	I once owned a shirt.
	I've talked about it before.
	I once owned a shirt from this pro-life org called Rock for Life.
	Oh, dope.
	I bought the P.O.D.
	CD from their table at this convention.
	And I also bought a shirt that was like a fetus rocking.
	Hell yeah.
	Was it doing the metal horns instead of the Chuck Norris thumbs up?
	Exactly, yeah.
	So what I'm saying is like, that shirt will work against us.
	That will be worn.
	That is the shirt that the person confronting you in front of the clinic is going to be wearing.
	I would love that for that.
	I'm going to love to see that, yeah.
	Yeah, are you kidding?
	Do you know how fucking dope that would be?
	I'd be like, oh my god, you get it.
	This guy is causing a ruckus.
	You'd be all like, no, hey, actually, I made that.
	I don't think a fetus could rock.
	I think they're too young to rock.
	They're too small.
	12 weeks.
	Yeah, you're supposed to have fucking Mozart, baby.
	It's not safe for the earbuds.
	The eardrums, I mean.
	Yeah.
	Whether in the U.S.
	Capitol or in cities across every state of our Union, we shouldn't justify violence to humans outside the womb or inside the womb.
	Those two totally similar situations.
	Tear down the wall.
	Yeah, that's called having your period, right?
	Instead, we should esteem all human life from conception to the grave.
	God, he's really running out of synonyms for womb and tomb.
	I got just like the Professor Xavier touching his temple meme.
	I got a thesaurus alert during this paragraph.
	With, we should esteem all human life.
	Okay.
	I don't think that's what, I know it was under the synonyms for respect, but that's, I don't think it applies to this situation.
	And then two, from conception to the grave.
	So again.
	That sounds so dire.
	I already used womb to tomb.
	Conception to the grave.
	Conception to the grave doesn't rhyme, but at least it's different words.
	Yeah.
	Than womb to tomb.
	And yet they sound equally shitty and uncomfortable for me to listen to.
	I agree to disagree.
	Womb to Tomb could be an album.
	Would listen.
	Yeah, that's how long I've been rocking Womb to Tomb.
	See Tony's t-shirt for proof.
	A lot of anti-abortion speak is basically just like Undertaker promos.
	Another reference I definitely get and I'm like really feeling cool.
	It's crazy sometimes what modern humans value over human life.
	Case in point, plastic straws.
	Time for a sharp left turn.
	I know, it got so good, it's so good.
	That's definitely what case in point means also.
	It's crazy!
	Plastic straws, baby.
	Fucking Andy Rooney shit.
	That, and that little boy, grew up to be no one because he was aborted, thanks to the left's social policy.
	Or terminated.
	Yeah.
	A 2020 Angus Reid poll asked 1,500 Canadians for their moral perspectives on a wide variety of issues.
	Among the findings, while 51% thought that using plastic straws is always or usually morally wrong, only 20% thought the same of, quote, doctor-assisted dying, and just 26% for abortion.
	Cool, that number's still way too high.
	We've got to focus on this.
	We've got the math involved.
	26% is still way too high, in my opinion.
	There are bar graphs if you click through to the poll if that's helpful to you, and there's stupid bar graphs too.
	Oh, I didn't click through on this one.
	I clicked through on the next paragraph and found some fun stuff there.
	What is the person who's like, using a plastic straw is morally wrong only sometimes, though?
	Yeah, what are the times that they're cool with it?
	Well, sometimes you forget your reusable straw, you know?
	So you gotta do what you gotta do with it.
	So I guess that's you.
	You answered the poll this way.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	Well, I have to say, who is ever, who literally, besides like five people who like put the law through, ever thinks about the morality of straws?
	It's just not something that I'm like sitting thinking deeply of unless someone straight-up asked me the question, is it moral to use plastic straws?
	I'd be like, probably not!
	I don't know!
	Is that why they are forcing me to use other kinds of straws?
	I assume there is a good reason and that is why I would say yes.
	If somebody asked me that I'd be like, I don't know man, I gotta go to work.
	Yeah, why are you in my house?
	Well, I have a certain video with a sea turtle you all need to watch.
	So we're going to take a break from this podcast.
	I'm going to have you watch that.
	We're going to come back in 20.
	This is such, like, typical... This is such typical, like, lib thought because you're not thinking through, right?
	It's like, you want to ban the straws, right?
	But what are you going to use when we ban abortions?
	Like, what are you going to use at home to do it?
	If you don't have plastic straws, you're not thinking all the way through this.
	You want to keep those straws.
	I gotta say metal straws, I feel like, nope, I'm getting it.
	I started thinking about it too hard.
	You threw yourself out with that one, didn't you?
	Yeah, it didn't go well for me.
	I think you should have to use a bamboo suction tube for your abortion or else you're a hypocrite.
	Honestly, I think that's exactly right.
	Um, and what they don't show you about that, what they don't show you in that turtle video is it cut, you know, cause it's like a long video and it was a long process to get that, the straw out of the turtle's nose.
	They don't show you the part where they actually used another straw to loosen the first straw.
	Oh my God.
	The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a straw is a good guy with a straw.
	Oh my God, yeah.
	They, of course, they don't show the responsible use of the plastic straw.
	They only show you, uh, you know, negligence.
	I gotta, I gotta come clean real quick, you guys.
	I... got a plastic straw right now.
	Oh my god.
	But the sea turtles!
	And it's even one of the sharp ones, because it was from like a sealed lid thing, like a... Oh my god.
	It wasn't bubble, but it was like a... It was a Capri Sun.
	I just want to be transparent.
	I don't want to come out later on that I was talking about plastic straws while using a plas... because I just want to be honest with everybody.
	51% of Canadians just aborted you.
	Is that what those numbers mean?
	I'm still unclear.
	So yeah, this whole article is based on this poll.
	That's the reason he wrote it.
	Twice as many people condemn plastic straws than abortion.
	So I don't like Like, should that percentage be exactly the same?
	It's one or the other, right?
	Like, you have to either like the bamboo straw or like fetuses.
	And, like, it's shocking how many people picked the bamboo straw over the fetus.
	Well, this is why it's an LSAC question.
	There's perfect logic here.
	I don't know it 100%, but it's gotta be there.
	I mean, Nora is like roundhouse kicking ass with logic.
	I just want to push back against something I heard Rack say right now, that a bamboo straw is actually useful.
	Actually, fetuses are really useful.
	We use them for all kinds of research and stem cell research and also just like most of my face creams actually contain, I don't know if you can see this, Yeah.
	You're like covered in babies right now.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	I don't want to go in and say there's no value or use to fetuses because that's a bit of a stretch.
	You're right.
	I'm sorry.
	I got upset.
	I also like how this didn't cause any type of self-reflection.
	Like, they didn't think, man, people care about straws more than abortion, huh?
	Maybe I care about abortion too much.
	They were just like, people are evil.
	People love straws and I love babies.
	Maybe these two questions have nothing to do with each other whatsoever in the slightest.
	And honestly, what does it even mean to take a morality poll?
	There are other items in the morality poll, like sharing someone's streaming account without paying, which most people think is wrong.
	Which is crazy.
	That is state propaganda, okay?
	If we're gonna be mad at anything, that is some nonsense.
	Yeah, the poll is really, it's like kind of a buried lead situation, Chuck.
	Absolutely wild stuff.
	We interviewed the 1,500 dorkiest Canadians possible.
	Here are the results.
	First of all, Norris does not explain his own stance on straws, which I find very confusing because how am I supposed to understand the contrast that he's trying to explore here if he doesn't tell me his own moral views?
	It's because he's a coward.
	Wait, what did you say?
	So that's because he's a coward.
	Oh my god, dude.
	Have you not heard the Norris jokes?
	Because that is not true.
	Apparently he can really hurt ya.
	It confuses people because the thing is he wants everyone to be able to use a straw, but because he is a fucking man, he would never use a straw.
	It's too much like sucking a dick.
	That shit is too much like sucking a dick.
	Yes, dude!
	So he's like, do what you do with straws, but I'm not going to use them.
	So he doesn't want to be seen as a hypocrite.
	So I respect this, this lack of stance, we should say.
	No, but wouldn't that be the case then that he would be part of that 51% saying that like always or normally fucking morally wrong because you don't want to look like a little.
	No, no, because the thing is, he's like, you can go ahead and you can be soft, I'm just not soft.
	Do what you want, I'm just not.
	So he's not a complete, yeah.
	So there's some moral ambiguity with the straws where there's not with the abortion.
	Again, a problem of category error.
	If a straw had a conscience, I'd be willing to explore this more, but we're talking about fetuses here.
	Yeah, Courtney, stay on track.
	We love fetuses.
	I don't even remember what I was going to say.
	Okay, so I think I figured out Chuck Norris' deep-seated hatred of abortions.
	I think I figured out what it is.
	Okay, so we've talked about it briefly, and we'll get into him in a minute here, if we finish this article.
	Chuck Norris, I mean, even more famous for, you know, training under Bruce Lee, doing Walker Texas Ranger, his magnificent cameo in Dodgeball that I already alluded to.
	The Total Gym?
	The Total Fitness Gym.
	Aside from that, he is most famous for Chuck Norris jokes, which were just a staple of internet culture.
	Mid-2000s to 2010s or something and it just struck me a similar phenomenon that preceded him was dead baby jokes.
	Yeah, it was the same format essentially.
	It was just say something bizarre and with the dead baby jokes like usually shocking.
	And I feel like there is some contender for which is the better format for a joke.
	I am of the mind the dead baby joke is way more epic.
	Oh yeah, those have stuck around for a reason.
	I'm still telling them on the rags.
	Like exploding kittens and farting unicorns and shit like that?
	That's all the spawn of Dead Baby Jokes.
	Dead Baby Jokes has the W in this column and I think Chuck Norris knows it.
	So you think he's going against the dead baby joke just as a concept because he's a narcissist and he needs his jokes to be the victorious type of joke.
	That's absolutely correct.
	What is this article if it's not, couldn't be summed up as dead babies are not funny?
	I think that's what this is about, personally.
	Honestly, that's like a real insight.
	Freud would have something to say about that, so that means it's true.
	Yeah, he goes on.
	Am I missing something?
	Do you value bamboo straws more than human life?
	In the womb?
	Wow.
	That's how statistics work and morality.
	So I'm an editor at the Babylon Bee.
	I'm a writer and an editor at the humorous publication Babylon Bee and I just read this article and I'm struck with inspiration for one of our classic conservative memes that we have on the right.
	And it's a liberal Japanese man, you know, filthy liberal, who just happens to be Japanese.
	We don't care about that part, but he's Japanese.
	He's holding his hand up to like a floating bamboo straw in front of him and he's saying, is this human life?
	And he's got like the word liberal like on his shirt.
	Oh, that's a good one.
	Classic garrison.
	This is like, we need to open a store with these shirts right now.
	Courtney, stop trying to make shirts.
	Don't make anymore shirts.
	I'm sorry I'm poor and trying to come up like the non-aborted baby I am.
	I didn't ask to be put in this capitalist hellscape.
	I gotta make shirts.
	I gotta make shirts.
	Okay, going on here.
	Some might retort that the Angus Reid poll surveyed Canadians' views, not Americans'.
	Some really might retort that.
	I might.
	Retort, another synonym, another definite thesaurus.
	However, do we really expect U.S.
	poll percentages on the issue to be any different than our northern neighbors, especially since America legalized abortions 15 years earlier than Canada's legalization in 1988?
	So he just couldn't find a poll of American people, right?
	I mean, he just couldn't find such a thing.
	They exist!
	Maybe it was even worse.
	I don't know, it doesn't have the conservative meme of plastic straws built into it, which is 100% a conservative like, like these, these frickin liberals with their mocha lattes, their Starbucks lattes and iPhones who have to have bamboo straws now.
	Right.
	For the lattes, yeah.
	I think there's something, I think there's something too where it's like, You can find a Canadian, a seemingly valid survey from Canada in America more than you can find a seemingly, you know, real survey of America in America.
	So like, this is the convenient numbers they found that they liked.
	They probably wrote the whole thing before they realized it was Canadian and then they're like, oh shit.
	I guess we gotta kind of talk about that a little bit.
	Let me jam in a single paragraph about the fact that these are Canadians.
	I know you're gonna retort with what my editor retorted, which was, this is a Canadian poll.
	Yeah, I pull this move all the time when I write.
	Like, my editor asks me a question and then I just throw in three sentences somewhere and one of them begins with, some might retort.
	I do this every time I write anything.
	The haters, aka my boss, might say.
	Listen, I know some people might be saying like, but these are Canadians, not Americans, and to that I say, I don't see color.
	To that I retort.
	Yeah, here's my rejoinder to that statement.
	Issues regarding babies value and abortion.
	Get QAnon on this article.
	I swear, talking about babies value here.
	Also, the pivot to saying babies is bold.
	Yeah.
	That's another thesaurus.
	Oh yeah, that's a good point.
	I mean, he said human life, he said beings, he said... I don't know if he said fetuses already.
	He said, like, womb occupiers or whatever.
	Americans.
	He's called them Americans before he's called them babies.
	Hard-working Americans.
	Taxpayers all.
	Issues regarding baby's value and abortion have been recently compounded, that's an interesting word right there, compounded, even with the COVID-19 vaccinations as some of the companies that produce them use aborted fetal cells in development or lab testing.
	Oh shit!
	Was my vaccine not vegan?
	No, it's not vegan.
	God dammit.
	Sorry, you got Americans in there now.
	There's Americans in your blood.
	But as an American, it doesn't matter.
	It's like water and water.
	Fuck it, buying a steak tonight.
	Nice.
	Something tells me Earth Crisis would be okay with human remains in a vaccine.
	I think there probably is a Earth Crisis lyric that is human remains inside a vaccine.
	I think that's a lyric.
	Those fetuses were going to grow up to be mass murderers, aka carnivores.
	Exactly.
	I heard they didn't use any vegan embryos.
	Um, 2-2-2, yeah, uh, anyone with a pro-life conscious or conviction will definitely want to read the evidence and research shared by my friend and prolific author blah blah blah in his recent insightful column COVID Vaccines and Fetal Cells.
	Uh, and that's all he says about the vaccine.
	I love that just being like, Oh, you should just read this information.
	I'm not going to say whether or not you should get the vaccine because again, I'm a fucking coward of the highest order, uh, who can't actually take a position on these pretty much universally accepted issues.
	I'll give him, I'll give him a little bit of a pass in saying that this is probably like a, there's probably a conservative, grammarly, That exists that like, you can optimize your SEO.
	And it's like, you know, you can really boost clicks if you just say the word vaccine a couple times.
	And like, that's really all it was.
	I was really hoping he was going to kind of make that other move that would help me understand the article better, which would be like, hey, would liberals really be getting this shot if straws, you know, where plastic straws were involved, you know, and like, he doesn't go there.
	Can't touch it.
	He never squares the circle in any way.
	He never squares the circle.
	It's just two opposing items that you keep wanting him to bring together.
	Yeah, Rox and I would not be getting the vaccine if there were straws involved at all, obviously.
	I would.
	Obviously.
	I would get a straw vaccine.
	That's hello our bit!
	I know, I know.
	But seriously folks, I would get a straw vaccine.
	I don't want anyone to think, even for a second, that I wouldn't fill my blood with straws because I'm doing that right now.
	Wow, sorry I have fucking morals.
	Yeah, sorry about that.
	They're called stents.
	Millions of people need them to live.
	The ultimate straw.
	The ultimate straw Yeah I have a My catheter I have like I mean yeah That's another ad For the bulging That's another ad I saw very frequently On World Net Daily Hearing aids and catheters.
	So, I have a quick question that's kind of a tangent, but not really.
	So, when we talk about abortion issues, and when I say we, I mean hardworking Americans in the womb or otherwise, people say aborted babies or aborted fetuses, right?
	That's like, the term abortion has come to just mean Even if you're, like, on the left, even if you're pro-abortion or whatever, the, like, linguistic mutation of the word abortion has come to mean aborting the baby, you know, terminating the baby, ending the baby, right?
	When, really, abortion, what you're doing is you're, the word, you're aborting the pregnancy.
	You're like opting out of the pregnancy.
	That's what abort means.
	It's pronounced eviction.
	You know what I mean?
	Like when you abort a flight or abort a mission, you're not like, that's not a synonym for like, you know, chopping the mission up and then like sucking it out with a vacuum or whatever.
	Stopping doing the process, right?
	But everybody when they write about abortion, they write about it in this way where you are physically aborting a baby.
	And I mean I realize it's more of like a metaphysical concept or like an abstract concept to talk about aborting like a process or whatever but that really is where the term comes from and I feel like When, I mean, I don't care really, I'm not out to change minds, but when I say things like abort a baby or whatever, that's like, I feel like a right-wing talking point.
	That's like essentially like a right-wing language virus where you're aborting a child instead of aborting a pregnancy.
	I don't know if you guys have any thoughts on that.
	No, I think in my mind it should be fine.
	It should be like, I do, excuse me, I do see where you're coming from and I, you know, the linguistically perfect model is worth pursuing if you're, you know, writing about abortion as a reporter or something.
	It's important to, I think, get the language right.
	I do consider myself a reporter.
	Yeah, I mean, in writing I think it matters, but I also think it matters to make the case that it doesn't matter and that you should be able to think of it as aborting a baby, like if you are getting an abortion, You should be able to think of it however makes sense to you and not have, you know, the one linguistic model be traumatizing or, you know, or connote murder or anything like that.
	You should be able to say you're aborting a baby and have that be neutral.
	But I do think that's why, like, the libs tend to, like, really suffer.
	The right wing is so good at introducing these kinds of phrases that become commonplace, like, Obamacare's the best one.
	Honestly, genius level stuff.
	Aborting a baby, taking our, like, taking, like, an originally left point of, like, abortion on demand and turning it into, like, I have, like, a little, like, abort button that I'm allowed to, you know, press every time I bomb.
	Do you just, like, press it for fun?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, just to feel something today.
	I don't even abort my own kids anymore.
	I just, wherever they are, you know?
	But this is where I think, like, the question, the, like, the freezing, this, okay, statistics.
	Let's jump into the statistics bubble for a second.
	We've got to figure out, like, how this question was asked as well, because I very well, I don't actually think that Canadians and Americans probably do have that much of a, like, a different view.
	Of course, one person has, you know, socialized healthcare and one doesn't.
	The question could have been like, do you think abortion, like was the question really just abortion question mark?
	Or was the question like, would you give yourself an abortion?
	Would you give someone else an abortion?
	Would you abort a baby with your own two hands?
	Would you, do you think changing the law is about abortion or moral?
	It's completely unclear.
	Same with the straw question.
	Like, how do you even ask that question?
	And so it's like this beautiful wordplay that allows someone like Chuck Norris to, I don't know, stunningly write up a little poem about how straws and abortions somehow are related.
	They really played right into Chuck Norris' hand in this poll.
	Yeah, looking at the poll, it just says abortion.
	It literally just says abortion.
	I mean, they gave you a list of moral quandaries that one might encounter and it's like doctor-assisted dying, abortion, same-sex couples raising children.
	You know, it's just they named the- Yeah, it sounds like it was like a Rorschach test.
	What did I say that?
	Rorschach?
	I think you nailed it.
	Thank you.
	I appreciate the support.
	And people were just like, moral, not moral.
	Maybe.
	I don't know.
	I'm like, that's how they did it.
	Like rapid fire.
	Yeah.
	I do think that we do need to work on the verbiage.
	And I think that we should stop saying aborting.
	And, you know, aborting baby is a weird one because then you're saying baby.
	And, like, I think it'd be a smart move if we started saying, like, we start saying baby at survival rate from latching.
	which would be a good play to go in their face, see how they do with that one.
	But also, I think we should use the phrase, you know, snuff out the flame.
	I think that's important.
	Like a candle in the wind.
	Have you have you blown out the candle yet?
	Yeah.
	Would you like to blow out the candle?
	Snuff the flame?
	What if we said exorcism?
	I like exorcism.
	Demons are kind of babies.
	Babies are kind of demons.
	That's got a lot of Reddit childless energy.
	R slash childless.
	Yeah, no childless or anything.
	I don't want to sound like one of those people who's just like, I beat up every child I see.
	I don't feel that way.
	I like babies.
	It's a devil upon birth.
	Then it's like, oh, now it's an American.
	But before that... No, it was already an American.
	Unclear.
	No, that's... It's an American from conception.
	We've got to change the language.
	Rax, this is a revolution podcast.
	We're going to figure out abortion.
	Yeah, we're going to figure it out by referring to all babies of all nationalities as Americans.
	I think we should change the term abortion to letting the sun rise on these crotch goblins.
	They turned to stone.
	Yes, yes.
	Yeah I don't know just interesting like I don't I don't think we need to police our own language but yeah when people write about it I think it is like insipid to a certain degree to have the conversation about aborting little innocent babies or whatever you know instead of like because I think I think a compelling argument you know for if we are talking about like changing minds or influencing people a compelling argument is
	There's a biological process happening to my body, you know, as somebody with a womb and I just want to stop that shit.
	I just don't want to have that biological process happen to my body and I am terminating this pregnancy, this biological process.
	I would never like say, oh you shouldn't say this or you shouldn't say that or whatever because I agree with you Rax, like the stigma is invalid no matter how you How you say it, and we should full-throatedly endorse it on whatever terms the right wants to use when talking about this subject.
	But I think people just don't even know when they write about aborting fetuses.
	I think that's not correct.
	I think you're not aborting the fetus, you're aborting the pregnancy.
	And it's just funny the way the conversation has turned.
	But let's move on.
	Yeah, as the Reformed Perspective News put it, So, someone might have had their elderly mother euthanized or had their unborn baby aborted, but they feel like a good person since they used a bamboo, not plastic, straw.
	Wait, is euthanization legal in Canada?
	Is that a thing?
	They were asking about it in this same poll.
	But like, I don't know, is that because they're making it seem like it's a thing that is more viable in this conversation.
	Google is free, Tony.
	I don't have to educate you on this kind of stuff.
	You can educate yourself.
	You can go, you know, use DuckDuckGo if you don't like Google, you know.
	Oh my god.
	But yeah, the Reformed Perspective News, I was like, oh, that looks great.
	I want to see what this news is.
	I'm really eager for some news.
	I clicked through to Reformed Perspective and it's like a newspaper by the, or at least with contributors from the Christian Heritage Foundation or whatever, which is just like, not just the Heritage Foundation, but also like the Christian Heritage Foundation.
	So just like Western culture, baby.
	Western chauvinism, 100%.
	I clicked through and the link doesn't actually give you like an article about this report, you know, it just gives you their landing page.
	And one of the top headlines, one of like the most recent news items was about a dad who got jailed for trying to interfere with his trans son's transition.
	And I was like, oh, sick, man.
	I want to keep reading this news source to see these freaks get owned repeatedly, because it seems like that's all they write about.
	Like it was like I read the article and it was like well this dad and they kept misgendering the trans son obviously uh and it was like this dad while he he wasn't uh granted he didn't have visitation rights uh he still wanted to be a part of his you know misgendered uh offspring's life and then uh when they decided to take puberty blockers uh he just had to speak up or whatever and like I don't know probably tried to like lash himself to the
	To the hospital doors or some shit, you know, and he got thrown in jail.
	So I'd like to read more about that.
	That sounds cool.
	Yeah, good story, I think.
	I want the whole thing.
	I want a movie of that story.
	Yeah!
	Also, for the record, apparently assisted death is legal in Canada as of 2016.
	So that does change the question in the survey.
	Because you are now talking about two legal things.
	In America, that would really skew the answer because you're kind of equating the two, right?
	Because they're in a survey together.
	And in America, it's still legal and still largely a hot topic and a lot of people probably would frown amongst it.
	Because we've got a long ways to go.
	But yeah, so it is legal in Canada.
	Well, I think polling down here doesn't really matter.
	We don't have fucking control over our legislature on the federal level or the state level.
	I'm sure assisted suicide is probably very, quote, moral to Americans.
	I'm sure that's a popular position to have, that it's okay to have assisted suicide.
	Or that, you know, I mean, all of these more socially liberal and fiscally leftist policies are more popular.
	It's just who's going to fucking do them, not our government, you know?
	This article ends with, well, he talks about Thomas Jefferson, and I fell asleep for three full hours.
	He talks about Thomas Jefferson a lot.
	He talks a lot about T. Jeffs.
	I would say a quarter of the article is not him talking about Thomas Jefferson, but him quoting the Declaration of Independence at length.
	Specifically just the beginning of the Declaration of Independence.
	The one that everyone had to memorize.
	Yeah, it's very third grade book report.
	Yeah, no, that's like a sick way to pad out your what?
	How many paragraphs are in this?
	Like ten, maybe?
	Like a million, honestly.
	And there's like a bible verse.
	The bible verse is my favorite.
	So, the last paragraph, the last entry in this article is, the enduring value of humans Again, it's like, I've never thought of people as like, humanocentric or whatever.
	Like, I've never really cared about that, but just hearing him talk about human this and human that, I'm like, dog, you're kind of like racist against chimps, I think.
	I think this is like racist against other species.
	I've never thought about that before reading this article.
	Well, I have a really boring book for you to read later.
	The enduring value of humans is echoed in the Bible in Psalm 139.
	For you, God, created my inmost being.
	That's what you call the fetus.
	It's the inmost being.
	Oh my God!
	Dude.
	Name a being more in than a fetus.
	True.
	Checkmate.
	You knit me together in my mother's womb.
	I praise you, which is capitalized because, you know, it's the Bible, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
	What?
	Fearfully made?
	Oh my god, that's from my little Marky music that I sent you too.
	Isn't his song called Fearfully?
	Yeah, this is the only psalm that they've got for their whole mission and they just beat it to death.
	They beat it to absolute death.
	What does this even mean?
	It just says womb in it.
	You can see the pixels in this psalm for sure.
	This is just a deep fried psalm at this point.
	Yeah, it's called I've Been Fearfully and Wonderfully Made.
	That's right.
	Wow.
	Okay.
	Holy shit.
	Connections.
	I've been fearfully made.
	Like, everything is about fear with these people.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Your works are wonderful.
	I know that full well.
	Like, I was made so good I'm, like, afraid.
	Yeah, that's right.
	I'm afeared because of how perfect you are.
	I was and I am.
	Oh, Lord.
	I know that full well.
	Or as the old classic 1800s spiritual put it.
	No year, just 1800s.
	And then he types out, Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world.
	Red and yellow, black and white, all are precious in his sight.
	Jesus loves the little children of the world.
	Now, I usually hate when people use random colors to list the types of people.
	It's usually really bad.
	But in this case, red is very important.
	I would say yellow as well.
	I mean, because fetuses are very much red and yellow.
	Courtney meant in a racist way.
	I thought he was talking about both communists and ANCAPs.
	This is a real red-brown alliance we've been waiting for.
	If Jesus likes his kids so much, why is he letting them get aborted by the libs?
	Why did he invent libs so dumb?
	I'm going to become an atheist, but because of abortion.
	Because God allows abortion to happen.
	That person exists, for sure!
	There's somebody who committed their life to standing in front of clinics and yelling, and then one day they were like, man, God is... Listen, God, if you're real, no one's gonna show up tomorrow.
	That's what every Igmar Bergman movie is actually about.
	God is dead and we have aborted him.
	And then his girlfriend showed up, and now he's like, God's not real.
	I love, like, somebody reading Dostoevsky and being like, yeah, how could a just God exist with Planned Parenthood on every corner?
	So, I shared this link on Twitter, because that's the end of the article.
	It's a wonderful article, to be fair.
	Thank you very much for sharing.
	Not since American History X has a piece of, has a work of art ended with a quote more powerful.
	Yeah.
	You know, actually, about that.
	Chuck Norris actually wrote this entire article, but didn't like the way that the fetus is represented, so he paid to completely rewrite the article.
	That's a joke about like the director or something?
	No, that's like anybody who loves American History X will tell you that's what Edward Norton did.
	He did pay to reshoot the entire movie because the first version of it did make his character seem like too good.
	Yeah.
	So he scrapped it and reshot the entire thing.
	That's what an ally does.
	That's true ally shit.
	But it's the favorite thing for like people who are racist to tell you.
	Um, so I posted this article, that's just how it ends, with a psalm.
	Beautiful, yeah.
	I think that's good.
	Every, I mean, shit, like, that's how most of these episodes of this podcast end, with just joyful music, you know?
	Yeah.
	A psalm, usually.
	Either by, uh, Helmet, or, uh, you know, Pig Destroyer, or whatever.
	Yeah.
	I like that he used, he chose Red, Yellow, Black, and White, like that little song, as like, A gesture to saying, like, look, I might be talking about American babies not being aborted, but I'm, you know, and that might sound white, but I'm talking about all races I don't want aborted.
	He just puts in a little anti-racist statement at the end to please the PMC.
	No, I totally love yellow people.
	Yeah.
	I'm a big fan of... You should make that explicit, okay?
	Because, like, citing this song is a little confusing.
	Most people who get jaundice are under the age of like one.
	So jaundice is most prevalent amongst babies.
	So this is actually important.
	I'm also picturing, like, displaced and stolen indigenous children being forced to recite the lyrics, red and yellow, black and white, all are precious in his sight.
	We're talking about an 1800s religious song.
	- I'll sing this next week in school. - Yeah, religious song, yeah.
	Okay, so yeah, I posted this article on Twitter and Aunt Colony responded with just such a good meme.
	Is that a group or a person?
	It's a person.
	I love that, it's so clever!
	It's good, it's a good handle.
	They post a meme, and the meme is a Chuck Norris meme, of course.
	And, uh, what kind of font do you guys think is in the Chuck Norris meme?
	What would you guess?
	Oh my god, I was just thinking about talking about fonts on this podcast.
	It's really funny.
	Okay, sorry.
	I don't know.
	Rax, any guess?
	You're the wordsmith here.
	Any guesses?
	Yeah, uh, my- Ian the wordsmith, I'm just running- I'm just kidding.
	I love that you're a perfect woman.
	I'm gonna ignore whatever the fuck that just was.
	I hated that.
	I'm gonna go with the papyrus.
	Oh, wow.
	That would have been cool.
	I know it's not that, but I want it to be.
	Yeah, there wasn't meant to be a stumper.
	Of course it's impact font.
	Damn it!
	Top text!
	Top text is, again, Chuck Norris is a Chuck Norris Walker Texas Ranger photo.
	Top text says, I was aborted once.
	And then bottom text says, you should see the other guy.
	Oh my god.
	Oh god.
	I thought it was going to just be the top text and I liked it so much better that way.
	Now I'm imagining Chuck Norris bombing a Planned Parenthood.
	Does that mean that as an embryo he beat up the person doing the procedure and killed them?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, he aborted them right back.
	He is that Facebook meme of the fetus who was laughing every time they tried to abort it.
	Oh, the Joker.
	Which is, God, such a good analogy for the recent Justice League recuts.
	Yeah.
	Jared Leto laughing as they abort his character over and over and over again.
	And so this was like, I was like, oh my God, there are probably, like, a whole bunch of Chuck Norris abortion memes, right?
	And so I just searched Chuck Norris abortion.
	And images, Google images, because otherwise you get 48 versions of this article.
	So do you guys remember the memes from the 2010s where it was like, you know, a character's face behind like a spiral background?
	Yeah, Filoso Raptor was one of them and it was like a raptor who was thinking and he had this spiral background or like angry wolf and it was like a wolf's head and then like a weird like hypnotic type background.
	Yeah, always with the impact font then too.
	always with the impact that's how you know it's a good one um the top text so it's Chuck Norris's head floating inside of like a like uh yellow and black like rays shooting out from the center you know and it's Chuck Norris's head uh top text in impact font Chuck Norris's mother tried to abort him and failed And then bottom text, 18 times.
	Nice.
	I love how this whole joke is that they hate Chuck Norris' mom.
	Like, would you say this is Chuck Norris' face?
	I don't think so.
	He'll probably kick your ass.
	I don't know if he's ever seen... My mom would never abort me.
	She would never.
	I was just going to say, the other bottom text is meme generator dot net.
	Not in the impact font though.
	So someone made that.
	Somebody like sat down and thought about it.
	Well that's all memes.
	Yeah but it's not usually so stark like that.
	When you see that meme generator dot net you're just like oh wow somebody sat down and had this thought and then spent ten minutes making this and I have to live with that.
	Usually if you can meme you can crop.
	That's what I'm saying.
	Usually you can crop.
	I would crop.
	What's the 18 times thing?
	Is it she tried to abort him for like every year she had him in her custody?
	Oooh!
	A murder!
	Abortion is a lot of things.
	She's just a murderer.
	She's just straight up a murderer at that point.
	That's not funny.
	That's what that was.
	That was acknowledging that you have no anonymity until you're 18.
	That's all that was, was a nod to that.
	Right, so... Does she like straws?
	Is she pro-straw or anti-straw?
	Yeah, does she like assisted death?
	Chuck Norris' mom is quoted to say, I brought you in this world and I'll take you out.
	Nice!
	The second one I found was, it's just Chuck Norris and he's like wearing a leather glove and flexing.
	And the top text... Two of my favorite hobbies.
	Tony, what kind of font do you think is in the text of this Chuck Norris meme?
	I'm gonna go ahead and say Impact Bold.
	It's Impact Bold, but you're wrong because it has a shadow underneath.
	Oh shit, I was gonna say outlined.
	That was embarrassing.
	Top text, he survived.
	Bottom text, abortion.
	So just another meme about somebody trying to... Well now we have yet another explanation for why he's so nervous about abortion.
	He had to experience it first hand.
	He's a survivor of abortion.
	Yeah, just like Jesus.
	I love this joke.
	Technically we all are.
	You didn't finish that book yet, did you?
	Holy shit.
	Oh my god.
	The ultimate abortion is God of Christ on the cross.
	We figured out the whole American problem.
	It was even worse.
	It was even worse.
	Have you not read the book of Job?
	Norris.
	How could you not like abortion when God gave up his only son?
	Exactly!
	Via abortion!
	No, I like this meme though.
	He survived abortion!
	I like this meme because that's like a real story that like conservatives say.
	I don't know if it's actually real but it's like you know they put somebody out on like you know the Mike Huckabee show where they're like my mom tried to abort me and I'm still here Or whatever.
	I think usually that's a result of, like, the mom telling a story in their church about how, like, I tried getting an abortion but it just wouldn't take.
	And I'm so happy I have this blessing so now that that person has to continue that narrative.
	But I just like that that's like an actual conservative You know, it's a staple of conservative propaganda or marketing or whatever, but it's also a Chuck Norris meme.
	Like, it's the equivalent.
	I think most things are, actually.
	Most, like, staples of conservative thought are really only a couple word shifts away from being just a straight-up Chuck Norris joke.
	Correct.
	And then finally the last Chuck Norris abortion meme I found.
	This was actually like the first result.
	It was really popular.
	It came in a couple different formats but yeah it's Chuck Norris in like his total gym type tank top like with a with a fist on his chin looking at the camera and then the the text says Instead of baby, we say fetus.
	Instead of killing, we say aborting.
	Instead of dissect, we say research.
	Instead of extermination chambers, we say abortion clinics.
	Sir, absolutely not!
	Get thee verily away from my Jewish ass with that extermination chamber's remark.
	I'm surprised this guy's gonna cite statistics when he's already got fucking the word game down pack.
	No need to tell me any statistics.
	That is convincing.
	He's like, oh, six million Jews?
	Yeah, well, 73 million fetuses.
	Yeah, Americans.
	That's a common meme is, you said never again.
	And then like, it's like a fetus saying that.
	That's a common thing.
	What else did you see at this place where you got your fetish shirt?
	What happened to you?
	Well, like I said, a P.O.D.
	CD.
	Classic.
	Oh, actually, I definitely saw bodybuilders bending pans and tearing notebooks with the power of Christ.
	Oh, shit.
	Do you guys want to experience that too?
	I know of that.
	You're having one-off experiences.
	I think you entered us.
	No, no, this is a real thing.
	No, I'm not.
	There are so many people that are like, I remember the strong men.
	They would come in Ben frying pans and tear notebooks And that was like their, um... They were like bodybuilders for Christ.
	Yeah.
	It was like, you know how you go to a, there's like a, it's like people, like yo-yo-ers against drugs.
	Yeah.
	Or they come to your school and they do like yo-yo tricks instead of drugs.
	Uh, it's like that, but for Jesus.
	And yeah, like ripping phone books in half.
	I'm here to tell you, you should be doing drugs instead of yo-yo tricks.
	You fucking losers.
	Why not both?
	You know how cool yo-yo tricks are when you're high as fuck?
	Honestly, I get into yo-yo.
	I'm so bummed I don't have a phone book right now, but I think it's because I'm high.
	Oh, duh.
	Because I could tear a phone book.
	Right, God's hiding them from you.
	And it looks tight.
	Only stoners can't find the phone books anymore.
	It's not through the power of Christ, I'll tell you that much.
	Okay, let's get into some responses for this.
	This episode ran a little long, but it's been very fun.
	Let's just get into some responses from the WorldNet Daily, or the WorldNet Lately comment section.
	LOL, I'm sorry.
	By the way, some of the best usernames I've seen.
	These are very great usernames.
	Top tier usernames.
	Gus Banter says, in response to this article, then let us pro-lifers draw straws to see which of those pro-abortionists gets aborted.
	Oh, I wish I could do that thing where you shake your hand and it snaps.
	Oh, I can do that!
	That was so good.
	What?
	Yeah, you can't see me doing it.
	Yeah, that's okay.
	I'll film it for you later.
	Speaking of philosophical concepts, literally the sound of one hand clapping.
	We figured it out.
	I love that.
	This is such a good joke.
	That's classic Gus banter, honestly.
	Not because it's funny, because it's not funny, but it references both things in the article.
	Straws and abortion.
	Oh, I get it now!
	Straws and abortion, straws and abortion.
	I didn't put that together.
	I was too hung up on Gus Banter.
	We can draw bamboo straws to find out when we, quote, abort you 33-year-old libtard feminist.
	Wow, wasn't Jesus somewhere in his 30s when he was aborted?
	Somewhere in his 30s?
	33.
	The answer's 33.
	We covered a whole movie about it.
	Listen, I don't want to do this because I don't want to make this about anything or anybody, but Jesus did die at 33, and today I turn 34.
	Oh my God, I saw this!
	Happy birthday!
	I just want to say today I beat Jesus, and that's a fantastic feeling.
	You outrank him now.
	Nicely done, Tony.
	Thank you.
	Now the question is, does God really love you or really hate you because you didn't die?
	Unclear.
	Oh, I've known that answer for quite some time.
	He's not a fan.
	He's not a fan.
	How come there's all this conversation about the 27 club?
	Oh, Kurt Cobain.
	Oh, Jim Morrison.
	What about the 33 club?
	Members only one.
	Jesus Christ.
	No one else has died at 33.
	No, never.
	It can't be done.
	It's like elevators, they always skip between the 12th and the 14th floors, you can't die at 33.
	Can't do it, can't do it.
	I love this comment, now I'm gonna move on real quick, but I just, I love this comment because it's like, oh you guys like abortion so much, we're gonna kill you.
	Like, and it's like, we think abortion is murder, which is why we hate it so much, so we're gonna murder you.
	To be fair, that's the theme of every single comment on this thread.
	I mean, yeah, welcome to Minion Death Call.
	What's funny, too, is it's also saying, like, listen, we'll give you the abortions, but we're keeping the straws.
	Hell yeah.
	Yeah.
	It is saying that.
	Not only that, but now we're going to call murders abortions.
	Now we're going to call grownups.
	We're going to call those that too because they're going to be legal.
	So we're going to go for it.
	That's the only way that they're going to do this is as long as it's done with forceps, murder is still abortion no matter what age it happens.
	Yes, that's how we're going to own the pups.
	Cops are going to carry forceps.
	What's the opposite of libs?
	Like, what's a shorthand?
	Cons.
	Wait, what?
	Cons.
	Pawns.
	Pawns with a C?
	Conservative?
	No, they call them reps.
	They call them reps or re-pubs.
	Oh, re-pubs.
	That's very Jon Stewart, I hate that.
	Yeah, it's bad.
	Yeah, well this is what we can call, what is it?
	Death penalty, abortion penalty.
	There you go.
	We've got it, we figured it out.
	Okay, 1G25 says, in the most bewildering comment, I think, for this episode.
	Real quick, what's amazing about this username is this username seems like it's auto-generated, but it still has a profile pic.
	I know, I was just thinking that.
	And that to me is fascinating.
	And that profile pic is like a crest of some sort.
	And like, so they took the second step to Make themselves themselves or whatever.
	I don't know.
	It's one of those things you don't notice unless you spend a lot of time on the internet like we do, but it's there.
	It looks like some sort of local police department badge.
	Do it, Alex.
	Do it.
	Enlighten us.
	Do it.
	Well, I wouldn't call it enlightenment.
	I'm just going to take a guess as to what 1G25 means.
	I think 25 is how much he pays for 1G.
	Nice.
	Worth every penny.
	He says, plastic straws don't grow up to shoot policemen and form PSLM, plastic straws lives matter, and burn down white owned businesses.
	Man.
	I mean, in his defense, plastic straws don't also grow up to do Cadillac endorsed commercials.
	They don't grow up ever.
	Yeah, they're straws.
	They do kill though, but animals.
	They burn down tortoise bodies.
	How do you just, like, feel?
	Because this is for sure racist.
	Yeah, but I'm having trouble parsing how.
	Like, it clearly is.
	For some reason, they're equating plastic straws with black people, and I don't quite understand.
	Break me down, Alex.
	Ooh, plastic straws are normally white?
	Good point.
	Okay, I'm trying to get there with you guys.
	So it's an odd comment even for this comment section.
	Like I know what he's saying, but it's still an odd comment because I think what he's saying is that liberals, he's literally saying plastic straws are better than black people.
	I think that's what he's saying, right?
	Yeah.
	I think he is in favor of abortion for black people.
	I think he is saying abortion-- - He's a little Bill Gates over here. - Is better than using bamboo straws.
	- Okay. - I think he is a racist in favor of black abortion, So, Margaret Sanger, is that you?
	Yeah!
	Is this the actual abortion is racist meme come to life in the form of this single comment?
	Which is insane.
	That's exactly what it is.
	They're literally saying...
	If you care so much about plastic straws, maybe care about these criminal black people who do awful things.
	It's really weird.
	Yeah, he's bringing Black Lives Matter into a conversation about abortion, which I can only understand him to mean that black people should be aborted.
	Honestly, we could spend an entire lifetime unpacking this bad boy.
	Very multi-meaning.
	I also like the phrase, burn down white owned businesses, which is, I don't mean to be racist, but kind of redundant.
	I mean, when you're talking percentages-wise, when you're talking statistically, it's just incidental that most businesses are white-owned, and maybe that's kind of what Black Lives Matter is partially about?
	Like it's it's it's he's turning the actual like racist reality of this society into an indictment on the black people who are objecting to it because the white people are more highly positioned in that society in this society.
	Real quick, only because we're not getting a check from Cadillac and I'm not going to be doing a Netflix or HBO Max type contract anytime soon, at least to the guise of this, I'm going to go ahead and pivot to Black Liberation or Black Power movement rather than Black Lives Matter only because I don't want to get sued by Patrice.
	I don't have, I can't afford a lawyer.
	I can't get sued.
	So yes, but you're right though.
	That is what that is about.
	I mean, we had a discussion yesterday at, you know, formerly known as Black Lives Matter, currently known as Black Bauer Collective and Lin Empire.
	Oh shit, cool.
	About like, oh we need to, oh yeah, we straight defected and made a statement, everything, lost your hands of it, want nothing to do with that black capitalism.
	That's a little nitty gritty.
	I don't know if like everybody would respond.
	I don't know if everybody would respond well to that conversation.
	They don't.
	They don't.
	Yeah.
	But that led to like, oh, we got the space.
	Oh, man, we need to find a black contractor.
	Oh.
	I've done construction for a number of years.
	I've grew up around it.
	I don't know any black contractors in the Inland Empire, and none of us did.
	That is so wild.
	Because in order to be a black contractor, in order to be a contractor, you have to get contracts and win bids.
	And guess what's probably not going to happen if you're a black business owner?
	You're going to not win a lot of bids.
	Yeah, construction really operates on, like, personal relationships, too, so if you don't already have a bunch of friends in the construction business who can refer you work, you're not gonna get work, and the people likeliest to not have those connections are black people just starting out with their- More rich people looking to build homes.
	And to talk about Alex saying, yeah, you're not, unfortunately, you're not being racist there.
	You're not saying, well, it's a business, so it probably is white-owned.
	That's just a condition that capitalism and racism has put us in.
	That's because capitalism is racist.
	It is that simple.
	So yeah, we do burn down businesses every once in a while.
	And the majority of the time, they're going to be white-owned.
	It's like that trick that the alt-right tries to do against communism.
	Some liberals try to do it as well.
	Which is that, oh, you're rebelling against the 1%.
	Do you know the disproportionate amount of Jewish people who are in the 1%?
	And like, oh, I guess you're anti-semitic for being against the 1% or whatever.
	It's the same meme just for white people at large.
	It's like, oh, you hate capitalism?
	Well, guess who capitalists are?
	They're freaking white.
	I guess you're racist against white people.
	Yeah.
	I don't know if you know this, but Jews are the most maligned people in this country, so I wouldn't go that far, okay?
	I'm just kidding.
	Courtney.
	Too far, too far, too far.
	Top five, top five.
	I think my opinion definitely matters about this subject.
	I think I should weigh in on this.
	Absolutely.
	I think you should really go wide with it, too.
	Just really throw a take out there and at the wall.
	Listen, I haven't thought about it much, but here's what I say.
	Just to be clear, Alex is not speaking as a white man.
	Alex is speaking of the son of a feminist woman.
	So, go ahead.
	That makes everything fine, yeah.
	I'm not speaking as a white man.
	I'm speaking as half Italian, half Scottish.
	Ooh, the Italian definitely works against you there.
	Wait, hold on.
	Alex, Alex.
	Whoa, whoa.
	We didn't sign up for anti-Italian racism on this show.
	Well, then you should have got a rap song then.
	Why'd you have me on?
	Yeah.
	You co-own a black-owned business.
	Oh my god, it's an Italian-owned business.
	You co-own a black-owned business.
	Some of my best CEO partnerships are black.
	I'm talking as a co-owner of a black-owned business.
	Listen, I own black businesses.
	I mean, I... No, what I was saying on the Jew thing was as a co-owner of a Jewish business.
	No, no, no.
	Let me just refer back to the Jew thing I was saying earlier.
	Yeah, I think the world needs more of the Jew thing.
	Okay, last couple comments here.
	David Williams said, when I was a county, again this is a topic about abortion and plastic straws and etc.
	When I was a county prosecutor, I could count on multiple phone calls.
	What?
	I know.
	Aren't you supposed to say hands there?
	I could count on multiple phone calls about a charge.
	Okay, I see what you're saying.
	He can rely on them coming in.
	Right.
	Okay.
	I held esteem for multiple phone calls about a charge of animal abuse.
	Space dot dot dot space zero for child abuse.
	Space dot dot dot space.
	Save the whales, not the unborn.
	I agree.
	I wonder if he's being ironic.
	I agree unironically.
	Yeah, I like whales better than the unborn.
	I haven't even met them yet.
	Yeah, they haven't even done shit yet.
	The whales are, like, cool.
	Another thing I've never compared on, like, a basis of morality.
	I know, like, round and round the comparison goes.
	Where it stops, nobody, like, least of all, does this guy know what he's talking about?
	Okay, if we're talking about in biblical terms, A fetus is the opposite of a whale.
	I could live inside of a whale.
	Whales provide housing at least.
	Whereas a fetus is no better than Jonah.
	It's a fucking freeloader.
	This guy is anti-Jonah.
	and no I think they're right though like they're right though like if you're gonna talk about it be about it like if you're gonna not if you're gonna be no one's free until the animals are free and that's why we need to get rid of eggs I was honestly really, yeah.
	I don't know if I understand that one.
	It sounded funny though.
	You've never heard people call like eggs like chicken abortions or chicken?
	Okay, alright.
	Also, I like how negative this dude is.
	Hold on, hold on.
	Get rid of the eggs, you don't mean abortion.
	You mean stop the practice of getting rid of the eggs.
	God damn, I'm so confused.
	What I mean is, what I really mean is, normalize, normalize young hysterectomies and tube tying.
	That's what I mean.
	Sure.
	I mean, I thought that was obvious, Tony.
	I thought that was completely obvious.
	It was a little embarrassing for Alex there.
	Try to explain it to Alex.
	Way to take the minutes of this pod away.
	Um, no, that's, I mean, thank you.
	I appreciate your education.
	You could have just told me Google was free, but I appreciate you explaining your joke.
	I like, yeah, comparing fetuses to, uh, whales.
	I think that's cool.
	Um, I don't know, man.
	Name a fetus as majestic as a whale.
	I don't think you could.
	Can't be done.
	You can't even do it.
	You can't even name a fetus, I bet.
	I've never seen one.
	Except for that thumbs up, uh, picture.
	Like, I don't know, like, I've never been pregnant, uh, but I can commune with the whales.
	I, like, oh, I'm gonna put my hand on your belly and the fetus is gonna do, like, uh, bang on the walls of the belly to communicate or whatever.
	Sorry, that's not cool.
	Like, I don't listen.
	Listen to a fetus banging on a belly to fall asleep.
	I dare you.
	Listen to Afida's banging.
	Listen, can I just tell you two of the most majestic experiences I've ever had in my entire life.
	One, swimming with a blue whale.
	It was majestic.
	I was at the edge of life and the edge of death.
	And the other was having sex with a pregnant woman.
	So I understand.
	They're very similar.
	You're a Pinocchio figure.
	And what the thing is, if you're really in tune with like energy and stuff like that, You can really feel those things and you're really centered.
	You can actually hear the fetus make noises like a whale.
	They communicate much like whales.
	If you put your ear up, you can hear it calling to you much like a whale would.
	Have you heard that?
	Okay, here's a joke.
	This is a joke from the 90s.
	Okay.
	A baby gets born, right?
	This is the doctor's office.
	A baby gets born and he says to the doctor, he says, are you my daddy?
	And the doctor's like, holy shit, this baby talked?
	That's fucking nuts.
	Like, that's crazy.
	Uh, and the baby says, I don't care.
	Like, are you my daddy?
	Like, I asked you a question and the doctor's like, no, I'm not your daddy.
	And then he runs to get the dad.
	And then the baby turns to the nurse and says, are you my daddy?
	And the nurse says like, Like, oh my God, like there is, there is no God.
	Like this baby is talking to me, like my mind is blown or whatever.
	And the baby says, I don't care.
	Like, you know, fuck, fuck your mind.
	Uh, are you my daddy?
	And, uh, the nurse says, no, let me go get him.
	Uh, and so they finally, they go get the daddy and daddy comes in and the baby says, are you my daddy?
	And he says, yes, like I'm your father.
	Like, this is astounding.
	Like, I can't believe this is happening.
	And the baby says, come here.
	And so the dad leans close and the baby taps on the dad's forehead and says, how do you like this?
	Oh, that sucks.
	Aye, aye, aye. - Really?
	I hate that that worked.
	I hate that it worked.
	I know.
	I was on literally the edge of my seats.
	Inspired by you, Tony.
	Okay, I'm blaming that on you.
	I love this guy- I told you that I told my dad that in confidence, but I mean, whatever.
	It's on the show now.
	I love this guy, David Williams, who used to be a county prosecutor complaining that he didn't get more calls about child abuse.
	I like that.
	I like that aspect.
	I lived in a really safe county.
	He's like, the calls about child abuse dropped, but the calls about delinquents rose.
	He's a regular Malcolm Gladwell over there.
	As a county prosecutor, I got a lot of calls about Japanese fishermen.
	I do want to read Malcolm Gladwell's op-ed about indefensive spanking.
	Statistically, most artists were abused as children.
	I love this county prosecutor like child abuse type angle for abortion.
	Like I love it.
	So like, I think this could be a new, again, sorry to keep giving like tips to the right wing or whatever.
	I think this could be a new Steven Crowder bit where what you do is you call child services on women entering abortion clinics.
	Oh my god, that's genius again.
	You're like, oh, this woman's about to do child abuse of the most extreme order, right?
	And of course they're going to be like, sir, this is a serious hotline.
	Please don't call here or whatever.
	Won't call us anymore.
	What happens is if you get enough people to join in on you on this stunt, you can tie up enough lines so that actual children are harmed.
	That's stunning.
	God willing.
	That's the end game.
	That's the article I'm going to write.
	That's direct action right there.
	Yeah.
	Gets the goods.
	Gets the babies aboard it.
	Sorry, what were you going to say, Tony?
	Oh, I was going to say, the thing about the strategy is...
	As a fan of 9-1-1, I will tell you that after about your fourth call for this abuse, they will tell you, uh, sir, you do know that calling for a fake emergency is a felony, and then you have to have your friend rotate in, but they'll forget your voice in two weeks and hop back in.
	Hey, uh, abusing, abusing emergency hotlines is not a felony.
	Change my mind.
	I'm gonna call 9-1-1 on you right now, actually.
	Yeah, I'm gonna call them just for the sport of it.
	I'm actually swatting all of you right now.
	Is that what it's called?
	Yeah, that's what it's called.
	Good job.
	Swatting.
	Thank you.
	Okay, final comment for this comment section.
	Last comment of the episode.
	Rotorblade.
	It is a pretty good username, Tony, I agree.
	I mean, paired with the picture, it's absolutely great.
	Yeah, they're identifying as an attack helicopter in their avatar.
	Is that what it is?
	I think you're right.
	I think they are TERFs.
	Well, they're in the fucking WorldNet daily comment section.
	No, I mean, I was making a joke.
	I don't necessarily think that's a reference to the attack helicopter meme, but these people are definitely TERFs, so I don't feel bad about making that joke.
	They're responding to somebody named Very Old White Guy whose comment was too boring to include in this episode.
	Typical.
	The comment from Rotor Blade.
	Rotor Blade!
	I'm a transformer named Rotor Blade!
	They comment.
	Innocent human babies get one day.
	Again, the human thing!
	The human thing!
	Like, you just sound racist against, like, lower order species.
	I don't care about humans unless they're American, so... That wasn't really funny either.
	I was more on the Norris pinch.
	Innocent human babies get one day, January 22nd, to celebrate their importance every year.
	And first of all, they're not the ones celebrating because they're all dead babies.
	Because they're too aborted to celebrate.
	Oh my god.
	Hey, we've all been there.
	They're too busy counting their blessings in heaven, okay?
	I'm so sorry Tony, I didn't mean to use the aborted's name in vain.
	Listen, you see this little pin I'm wearing right now?
	I do not!
	It looks like it's the size of a thumbnail, but it's actually tiny little fetus feet that are the same size as a feet.
	Do you guys know this pin?
	I dare you, I dare a fetus to carry me across the sand in times of trouble.
	If you're trying to compare a fetus to Jesus.
	No, it's a little pin, it's little tiny feet, and it's supposed to be the size of like a four week old embryo's feet.
	And it's supposed to be like a one for one direct size of it.
	Such a self-harm.
	It's not at all.
	The science is all fucking wrong.
	Not only them, but it's like- But like my grandma wears it.
	Yeah.
	And she's always telling people- Yeah, this feels like a grandma would wear it.
	She's always telling people it's not the feet in the sand.
	I love what a self-owned that is, Tony.
	It's like, here's some really small feet that are too small to even see.
	- Feet, fetus, feed, fetus.
	I love what a self-owned that is, Tony.
	It's like, here's some really small feet that are too small to even see.
	This is what a human life is.
	It's like, well, I can't even see it, so I don't know.
	Not only that, but it's like nobody's gonna notice your fucking, like, uh, activism pin because of how fucking small it is.
	It doesn't seem like a good idea.
	Yeah.
	This is actually the origin of all foot fetishes, which is, you know, honestly, in my opinion, a worse, a more moral sin.
	That's some deep Freud right there.
	Thank you.
	I've read her once or twice.
	I knew I liked feet since I was in the embryo and mine were stuck in my own face for nine months.
	And you were just like, I'll just roll with this for the rest of my life.
	That's why my mom has foot-to-mouth disease.
	I'm picturing Sergeant Hatred from Venture Brothers like salivating at the idea of a fetus's feet because they're so tiny.
	It's so small.
	Okay, sorry, that's a fairly specific reference.
	Innocent human babies get one day, January 22nd, to celebrate their importance every year.
	Sodomites get the whole month of June to flaunt their degeneracy and perversions, have parades featuring nearly naked men wearing dog collars, dot dot dot.
	Additionally, They get every day of the year somewhere in the U.S.
	where the media is touting quote the greatness and the quote progressiveness of homosexuality and the innocent children kind of get one day dot dot dot if we remember it.
	And again, this is like a supreme self-own.
	Like, sorry dog, nobody cares about your fucking fetuses.
	They're too obsessed with these non-aborted fetuses who chose to be gay.
	I mean, oh no, god damn it.
	Please delete that part.
	Definitely don't delete that.
	I've been on this website too long!
	I think choosing to be gay is cool.
	I coughed for you, that's why I coughed.
	The longest bleep.
	No, see this goes back to our aborting a baby conversation where yeah, I'm adopting the right-wing talking point of choosing to be gay and I think that's cool.
	Yeah, it's tight.
	It's cool.
	More people should like, more people like Lil Nas X should choose to be gay.
	Amen.
	Yeah.
	Well, the thing is, like, the thing is the Fetus Pride Parade could only last like a block, and like the party can only go on so hard.
	Yeah.
	Because they're just smaller.
	They're just too small.
	I'm sorry.
	Like, get a Micro Machines Parade if you want to celebrate unborn life.
	Well, it's in accordance to how long your life is.
	Like, nine months only gets a day.
	But if you're like 32 and gay, you get like a month.
	I mean, I feel like that's like very fair.
	That's just statistics.
	I'm just kidding.
	Also, you should never, ever, ever give your fetus poppers.
	Don't do that.
	Are you sure?
	It's so hard to select if you're taking them or the fetus.
	Either abort it or don't give it poppers.
	Those are your two options.
	I'm gonna give it poppers.
	I'm gonna give it poppers.
	Wow, pro-life racks.
	I love life and poppers.
	And fetuses.
	You gotta be careful.
	That baby's gonna be born eating diapers.
	Well, if... Listen.
	I've made my choices.
	I've made the bed for this fetus and that is where he will lie for the rest of his horrible little life.
	Actually, if we can delete anything, delete that awful joke.
	I don't even know what you guys are saying right now.
	I'm not deleting anything because that would mean I would have to do work on this episode, so nothing is getting deleted.
	He'll delete it for a fee, for an hourly charge.
	Not even that, no.
	I'm a union employee.
	I make enough money.
	My free time is more valuable now than anything you could give me.
	Wow, Adorno's dream comes alive.
	Another non-aborted baby.
	So I just love, I love this comment because it is once again just like conservatives complaining about how unpopular they are.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Well there's no, there's no Nike ad for a fucking veteran.
	Do you drink?
	But there are, there are so many.
	Do you get really fucked up on a, on a January 22nd?
	Cause that just doesn't sound as fun if you have to fucking stay sober cause yo prego.
	I mean.
	I don't, but what I do do is I do like either like a lot of mushrooms.
	What you do do?
	Yeah, I do do some mushrooms or like a bunch of acid.
	I do whatever like takes me back to that fetal like life state.
	In the womb.
	It makes me grateful for every day.
	Amen.
	Yeah, and the innocent children kinda get one day, dot dot dot, if we remember it.
	So way to out yourself is not even giving a shit about the children.
	You forget it.
	Yeah, this guy has never once remembered it, right?
	I mean, that's what he's saying.
	Yeah, I was about to say, he just learned about it today.
	Yeah.
	Okay, well, that's the episode.
	Thank you ladies so much for joining us.
	Thanks for having us.
	Of course, from the Low Culture Boil podcast.
	You got links, you got Twitter handles.
	I know you both have those things.
	Why don't you say them?
	We sure do have links and Twitter handles.
	You can find me, Rax, at raxkingisdead across all platforms.
	You can find our podcast at lowcultureboil on Twitter and Instagram, and most importantly, Patreon.
	Yeah.
	Courtney, I got it.
	Stop yelling at me.
	You know that makes me horny.
	I have a damn spiel.
	I was like part of the way through my spiel before I started making you horny with my treats and dollars.
	Well now no one's gonna listen now that they know that we disagree.
	Okay.
	Yeah, they don't want two meals on me.
	You're acting like it's not Passover weekend right now and I don't like it.
	I know, we're fighting like it's Yom Kippur or something.
	I'm so sorry.
	I didn't mean it.
	Patreon.com slash LowCultureBoyle.
	And Courtney, I don't know if you have anything to plug.
	I just lost my job, so I kind of don't.
	I think I have a handle, but I'm not 100% sure what it is.
	I think it's C-K-A-Y-E and then my last name Rawlings, R-A-W-L-A-N-G-S.
	But really, you can just Google gal de board, but boards sound like you're sleeping, and that comes up.
	Yeah, I can pull up your handle here.
	It's C-K Rawlings, I think.
	It's letter C-K as in K-A-W or K-A-Y-E.
	Rawlings, like the baseball mitt I had as a catcher in JV Sports.
	Okay, so it is C-K-A-Y-E.
	Yeah.
	Nice.
	Alright, cool.
	I knew it.
	Let me sweat your podcast real quick.
	I just discovered it a couple weeks ago.
	I don't do this very often, but I've been binging through it so hard.
	It hits so many things because it is of that time.
	We are talking late 90s, early 2000s.
	Just good shit that we've all experienced as Americans.
	And I love it because I get to live, like, vicariously... The Anna Nicole episode?
	Oh my gosh.
	Just, like, fucked my shit up.
	Ours too.
	And also, you gotta remember, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like 12, I'm like 12, 13 when Anna's, like, biggest reality star at her most thickest, and I think that was very influential on your boy.
	By the look, he ruined his life.
	Thanks for listening, everybody.
	Bye.
	Peace.

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