(UNLOCKED) There is nothing more traditional, and therefore more repugnant to a Liberal than the concept of a monarchy and all of the ‘broken’ traditions that come with it
Due to some technical difficulties we were not able to get you that fresh content you crave so we unlocked this classic Patreon episode for you. This week we have a follow-up to a previous story because the disgusting, unpresidential Biden dogs bit someone at the white house (no surprises there!) Also, American conservatives try to navigate criticizing a woman of color who herself is criticizing the British Monarchy. Complicated!
You know it sucks man like yeah it does it does suck because of like the demographic that follows me.
When I do say nigga on the internet it does not do well.
You mean like people just ignore it or?
Yeah people don't people don't like like people like literally don't like it like it's just it could be the best joke but because I feel like because I said that in there a lot of a lot of the people who and respectfully so probably feel like they shouldn't be liking it you know See, that's... I support black artists who use the n-word.
Exactly.
That's because you're a real one.
Yeah, I would uplift your voice by retweeting your tweet with just the n-word in it.
Bar out everything else in that part there?
What did he mean by this?
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
So stay tuned, we're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're in the middle of the storm deserts.
All there in Barton, Houston.
Stay tuned.
All right, I'm Alexander Edward.
I'm Tony Boswell.
We're Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Ungrateful, low-class princesses are responsible.
We're documenting it.
How you doing, Tony?
I'm decent, you know?
I'm good.
Can't complain too much.
It was a big week for Mulattos.
Yeah.
I think we might be possibly the best podcast to discuss this with the nuance that it deserves, the sensitivity that it requires.
Yeah.
I often get called the Meghan Merkle of podcasting.
Well, yeah.
I mean, obviously.
Look at who you're working with.
Don't do that.
I'll fight you.
Because of class reasons.
Because of class reasons.
How am I doing, Tony?
How do I sound?
Do I sound good?
You sound great.
You sound great.
Is there a reason you sound so good?
How are you living?
I've just been podcasting for so long, like seven years now, that I just know how to do it.
That's why it sounds so good.
So yeah, it's your Patreon episode for the week.
Thank you so much for supporting the show.
Yeah, the free episode got out late this week because of various reasons notwithstanding.
Me not having internet for part of the week was part of it.
But, got that one out.
Didn't want to make people wait for the Patreon episode because we're really good people, I think, is the reason.
And you know what?
If you want a podcast every single time, on time, you know, without, you know, above the pay grade, Listen to it like a non-working man's podcast.
That's right.
You know?
Go ahead.
Go find that, you know?
Go buy a Casper mattress.
Why don't ya?
And before you get, before you say anything, filing for, trying to file for unemployment like Tony's been doing for three months is a job.
It is.
That is work.
It is.
It is.
It is taxing.
And goddammit, when I get that back pay, You might miss a couple episodes too, because I might just like, you know, fly away for a while.
What are you going to do with your unemployment windfall, Tony?
What are you going to spend it on?
I'm probably going to put a nice chunk of that into a high yield savings bond for the kid.
I don't want it to depend on a scholarship.
And you know, I might buy myself a real microphone stand.
I currently have a large metal clip taped to a pole in front of my face.
It works, but I might get myself a real one.
Take it from me, professional podcaster, you don't need one.
You don't need a real microphone stand.
All you need is your wits and your talent and it sounds good.
And the Anchor app.
And the Anchor app.
I don't know what that is.
It's this podcasting app that puts bumpers in it for them.
It's a free thing.
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
Oh, okay.
That sounds like poser shit to me.
That's how old school you are.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Yep.
Shots fired at the anchor pods.
Sorry.
Sorry.
No respect.
I don't know what that is and it sounds like I don't need to.
Audacity is free.
Actually, I'm using very expensive recording equipment, recording DAW, digital audio workstation, that I bought in like 2011 for recording music.
And it's just how I learned to record and how I learned to podcast, and so I've just never Bothered to learn Audacity or Logic for podcasting at least.
I have Logic for music now but I'll never get rid of Reason for podcasting because it's so much easier to do a hour and a half recording on this than it is Logic.
You're gonna get a sticker that's like real podcasters learn on Reason like real DJs learn on Vinyl.
Yeah, Logic DAWs have no soul.
They're just not warm.
They're not warm, you know?
Right.
I don't know.
If anybody can tell me why Logic stops recording automatically after like 30 minutes or whatever, maybe I'll start using it.
And it's not because I don't have available free space.
I've already checked that.
So I don't know what it is.
It's been addressed.
Yeah.
Logic, they just don't want you to, like, jam.
They're an anti-jam band recording software.
They don't think your jams should last longer than 30 minutes, which... I mean, yeah, I guess... I don't like any rules, let alone time constraints.
When you're just pushing buttons and, you know, moving sliders up and down, yeah, how could anyone be expected to do that for longer than 30 minutes?
Listen, if we were to believe in things like time constraints, we wouldn't be talking about this shit right now.
That's right.
Yeah.
So, oh, just a good, fun show.
No technical difficulties, as always.
It's something we like to provide the listener with.
Give them their, you know, their bang for their buck.
And once again, thank you so much for the buck.
We love the buck, folks.
We appreciate it.
I hope everybody's enjoying ButtFest 2000.
This last episode that we released with Tony might be the best episode in the series.
I mean, it's the penultimate episode.
Very fucking fun one.
Very fun one.
I don't know.
I think the first episode is...
There's something magic about it, you know?
There's something magic about it.
But yeah, I really enjoyed the episode that I was able to be part of.
Just mind-blowing.
Mind-blowing.
The first episode for me was about both discovery and finding out new things about butt rock.
Sharpening my understanding of butt rock and branching out, opening up new pathways in my brain.
For specifically Butt Rock.
The penultimate episode with you, Tony, was definitely like a culmination.
It was my thesis on Butt Rock, I feel.
I feel like I really reached where I was headed, I think, on that episode.
I think that was the Volbeat episode.
Yeah.
That was the episode that feels the most like Volbeat.
Because we like Volbeat more than we like... Yeah, we like... You see what I mean?
They really are the pinnacle of... They're the culmination of... Butt Rock.
They're not the worst band ever, but they are the best of them.
I don't think Volbeat is the culmination.
I think it's Theory of a Dead Man.
I think Volbeat... But we don't like Theory of a Dead Man.
I don't really like Volbeat either.
It's fine if people do, but they're fun.
They're more fun to listen to than Theory of a Dead Man.
I'll give them that.
Okay.
The interviews are the best because they're so earnest.
So before we get on to like the main topics of the episode, uh, we, we got to, we got to do an update.
We got to do, we got to touch base on something.
We, we just covered something very important.
Uh, and that is the disgusting low class dogs in the white house.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Wow.
Uh, we spent, A good chunk of time, I don't remember if it was the Patreon episode last week, talking, discussing the unfair backlash that an anchor got for disparaging what is clearly a filthy mongrel that shouldn't belong in the White House in the first place.
I would say that Newsmax host Greg, Greg Carnes?
Greg Kelly?
I don't know his name.
The one who talks like Trump.
Vindicated.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because I have a headline here that reads, Biden's two German shepherds removed from White House after, quote, aggressive behavior, quote, biting security.
Can I get some air horns in the chat, folks?
Can I get some celebratory revelry here?
Can I get some Alex and Tony were right music in the chat?
Yeah, yeah.
Vindicated.
Can we plug the Dashboard Confessional song, Vindicated, right now?
Can we cue that shit up?
Yeah, drop that beat.
I almost did it.
That's okay, I will do it.
I almost did it also.
But I think people deserve to hear the real thing.
Yeah, we're not gonna cheapen it.
Yeah.
Um... I'm just picturing, like, Greg Kelly on Newsmax singing... I am right!
I swear I'm right!
Swear I knew it all along!
That dog is flawed!
And he's not cleaning up so well!
I am seeing him now!
The things I swore I sawed right now!
Oh, man.
Serious stuff.
Serious German Shepherd things.
They're bad dogs, folks.
Disgusting.
I can't say it.
You know I can't say it.
I have one.
But he's also a lab.
I have the whitest dog.
And I love him.
I love him.
He's named after a hockey player and I love him.
He's the best.
But you know what?
He just chills, man.
He doesn't like... He would bite a cop though.
He'd bite a security guard.
He'd bite a security guard.
He'd bite a cop, yeah.
That's the thing.
I'm torn.
Because while I do hate this disgusting dog for being like gross, you know, for being disheveled and looking filthy and very unprofessional, very unpresidential, he did also bite a Secret Service agent.
Yeah.
I kinda, kinda gotta hand it to him.
I mean, well I heard what it was, the thing is I heard what it was, it just wasn't professional.
I heard the dog saw the video of that cop choking the dog and like slamming him against the car and he just bit like the next authority figure he saw.
And that's the thing, you can't bring those issues to work.
You know, you're a professional dog now.
That's your role.
This is your duty now.
You gotta be a good dog.
You gotta be the best fucking doggo.
And you know what?
You made that shit personal and that's not cool.
You know what the language of the unheard is, Tony?
It's, can I leave?
I didn't mean to compare like rioters to animals, but you know, sometimes you just got to do it to them. - No.
No, just like justified dogs.
Like just, you know.
One time, let me tell a sad story real quick.
One time I was living with my aunt and we had this dog.
This dog's name was Chance.
Chance was a good dog.
We saved Chance.
Turns out Chance is the most popular name for a dog.
I felt real embarrassed when I found that out.
Popular name for a dog in like the the latter half of the 90s after everybody saw Homeward Bound.
Yeah, exactly.
Chance nipped at my little cousin and we had to get rid of Chance.
Well, my little cousin was fucking with Chance when Chance was eating.
Yeah.
Like, was like, you know?
Get rid of the little cousin.
I don't care how little they are.
And you know what happened?
That cousin grew up to be a cop.
That cousin grew up to be a cop.
Chance was right.
Chance was also vindicated.
It's fucking bullshit.
So, I got bit by our family chow.
When I was a kid... Uh, not like bad, like I didn't need stitches or anything, but the thing- They were only mean in the 90s!
Well, the thing was, is... The fuckin'- This is crazy, I don't know how true this is, but this is the story of my family.
Was that they took the chow-ping-yao to get, uh... What do you call it?
Like, groomed?
And they sh- They shaved him too short.
and so he got like hot spots he got like really irritated skin yeah and then I was like three years old or four years old and I like pet him in the wrong spot or something and he turned around and like you know nipped at me or barked at me or did something like it didn't I don't even think he broke the skin whatever happened but my parents were like super worried and they knew it wasn't his fault but like They, you know, they couldn't keep the dog, and so I think they had to put him down.
Another story is my grandparents adopted, like, a stray that was dumped in their front yard, a little German Shepherd puppy, who bit everybody except me.
He bit everybody in the family.
That's my favorite shit.
Except me.
I love that.
I love that.
And we never got rid of him.
I love being the exception to the animal rule.
I love that.
We never got rid of him.
He, like, limped into his grave.
You know, he, like, hip dysplasia-ed into the ground.
Oh, yep, yep.
It never bit you.
Great dog.
That was Yogi.
Loved Yogi.
Died biting everybody, but didn't bite you.
That's my favorite shit in the whole world.
When someone's like, oh no, my cat or my dog doesn't like anybody, I'm like, we'll see.
We'll see.
Exactly.
Yeah, I love that.
Uh, yeah, not these dogs though.
I mean, you know, it doesn't matter if they only bit one person or whatever.
It's clearly, you know, the bad blood will out, I always say.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
I'm gonna read here from this article.
This is in the Daily Wire.
And just look at this dog.
Look at the photo of this dog.
It just... I can't stomach it.
I'm glad I haven't eaten dinner yet.
Uh... Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I need, like, to drink water now.
Just from looking at the dog, you know?
Yeah.
My mouth, it just, ugh.
I feel like I need to go on a... My allergies are acting up from looking at this dog.
...on a fast of some kind to purify the soul and body after witnessing this creature.
I need to sweat this one out.
Ugh.
The two German Shepherds belonging to President Joe Biden and First Lady Jill Biden have been removed from the White House after displaying aggressive behavior.
Blah, blah, blah.
This isn't that good.
The good part is in the opinion article also on the Daily Wire,
About this matter, some piece of shit writes, now just imagine if Trump, it's not like a piece of shit commentator, like a piece of shit opinion columnist says, now just imagine if Trump owned two German Shepherds and one had snapped at a White House staffer or member of security, the headlines would have been rabid.
Get it?
Trump would have been maligned as a terrible pet owner with news outlets calling in quote experts to say he had no business owning pets in the first place.
Which is like a moot point because like Trump hates animals Trump didn't own an animal like in the first place like this is like He was very vocal about not liking animals.
You know what?
If Trump had ever deigned to actually care about a creature other than himself, the experts would come in and say, oh, this guy doesn't actually care about other creatures.
Yeah.
But you won't hear any of that with the but with Biden as president and you won't hear a word about the risks involved when getting a dog from a rescue shelter.
Parentheses.
It's clearly the best way to get an animal, but there are always risks.
So.
Oh, wow.
I hate it.
I love it because it's like it's going to be a theme in this episode.
Yep.
Is conservatives like struggling to make the point they want to make because it is just flies in the face of everything that's either A decent or B conservative.
You know, and it's just having to, like, having to bend yourself into a pretzel in order to take this, like, countercultural stance against a somewhat apolitical news item.
No, but it's this thing though where it is so conservative to feel that way because rescue dogs had to be rescued, right?
And to them that instantly means like, oh they probably belong to poor people who abused them, right?
Yeah.
So that's why you have to go to breeders.
And it's so wild that that still exists and it's still a practice that is like... I know people who are vegetarians.
They're not vegans because you know they bitch like that.
But they're vegetarians and they bought like a bred dog, like a dog breed, for like a lot of money and it wasn't even like an allergy thing or like whatever thing you're gonna try to give me right now.
Not you, but people.
They just did it.
I'm like, how come that makes sense to you?
And it really is just weird, like, it's the same thing that applies to everything, man.
It's like, those dogs are poor dogs.
Yeah, I don't like it's I think the way I think about it is I'm okay with dog breeders as long as it's not like a really like Compromised breed of dog already that's been bred into like like German Shepherds for instance That have been bred into having like serious problems for the for the rest of their life for the entirety of their lives or whatever Yeah, I'm like okay with dog breeders as long as they aren't as long as the puppies aren't like expensive
That's I think where I just like if if you're making like hundreds of dollars off of a puppy That's like wrong.
I think that's wrong if you're just like but they always are but that's all it exists Yeah, that's the thing is that's all that exists.
You know, there's no like well meaning like listen There's people that want puppies that can't get puppies.
We got to give them puppies.
Well, I don't know because there's plenty of puppies out there Yeah, there's just like cute dogs.
Like, people want like a Corgi pup.
And if you're like, you got a Corgi and your friend's got a Corgi, be like, oh, it'd be so cute to have some Corgi pups.
And let's like, you know, just give them away for a few dollars or whatever.
But for the time being, there's plenty of people who bought Corgis because they're cute, who then realized they couldn't have dogs, who then went to a rescue and you can go to a Corgi rescue.
Like, there is a rescue for every type of dog there is.
So that's the whole thing.
Until there's no rescues for those dogs, and until we need those dogs to be made, you know?
I mean, you know, I want to ask you, hey, look at those cats.
Who rescued who?
You know?
Who?
Rescued?
Who?
I mean, the answer is you.
The thing was, Pete, I haven't said this on the show yet.
I mean, I've said this part.
Geezer is an orange female.
She's a tabby female, which is pretty rare.
So yeah, I did have to go through several cats in order to find an orange female.
I had to, like, purchase several breeding partners and, you know, that one's not right, throw it out.
That one's not the cool one, throw it out.
Until finally, Geezer, just our little miracle, she was the good one.
Little perfect cat.
Little perfect cat.
Little orange female.
And she was, yeah, so, the good one to keep.
The super rare, super rare.
Very rare.
And see, if you buy tabbies, it's cheaper, and then breed them yourself, and then just throw out all the bad ones, and keep the rare one, keep the good one.
But spay and neuter the bad ones before you let them go.
I'm just kidding.
Geezer has like a really sad backstory that I also don't think I've ever said on the show.
She was literally the only... I don't know.
I don't know.
If you're like a bleeding heart for animals, maybe skip this.
Then don't even know about Geezy.
If you're a bleeding heart for animals, then don't... Do not Google Geezy, okay?
You will cry.
We love Geezy so much.
It's like a Disney movie sad story.
It's not that triggering.
Geezer's the only one of her litter to survive.
I got her and Tony at the same time at a veterinary clinic and they were like kennel mates on the counter as little kittens.
And I was like, give me those kittens!
And they were like, hold on, you gotta wait, you gotta wait until they're like two months old or three months old.
I was like, give me those fucking kittens, bro!
No, those ones now!
And yeah, I found out later that like, yeah, geezers litter was like...
Dumped in an ice chest or some shit.
Like abandoned in an ice chest.
Way too young of an age to be separated from the mother.
She's the only one who survived.
But being like separated from her mother that young is like why she has all the allergies.
Why she's allergic to literally everything.
Yeah.
Because she didn't get any of the antibodies.
So if you see me post a picture of Geezy and she's got like a little bald patch.
Or a little like a little owie on her face.
It's because she's allergic to everything and scratches herself non-stop, but we have it under control.
She's on three different medications and a special diet and she's doing really good.
But also, Alex is like the best person in the world because Alex could one day decide, you know what?
I want to buy a Mercedes-Benz.
Let me just get rid of Geezy.
And he can go buy a Mercedes-Benz.
Yeah, Geezy has as much to owe to, like, my kindness as she does to my union wage.
Like, if I didn't make union wages, like, I don't know.
And you'd find patrons.
Right, I would be in, like, I would have falsified, like, school loans or something.
Yeah.
Yeah, so where are we at?
We're at this opinion article about how- Those Biden dogs.
About how, yeah- You should have seen it coming, Biden, Biten.
Wow.
I just love oh it's clearly the best way to get a dog because I'm not a monster I'm like virtue signaling to my conservative readership that I have like a set of ethics or whatever but still it's risky when you get a rescue dog because they bite everybody but also I love rescue dogs and you know it's still the best way to get a rescue dog.
How do I thread this needle?
TMZ ran some cover Tuesday citing Corey Topol of the Delaware Humane Association as saying, Champ and Major's recent behavior could stem from a change in environment which can be upsetting for dogs.
Just like a totally normal thing.
Totally like normal analysis of the situation.
Hey, they're in like a brand new home and surrounded by hundreds of strangers every day.
Like maybe that's why the dog had, you know, some like adverse reaction to something that happened.
But that's running cover.
They're doing damage control by saying, hey, dogs are animals.
Also, like, hey, dogs have good instincts.
Maybe this guy was a fucking dickhead.
Maybe this guy was, like, not cool with the dog.
Maybe he did something to the dog.
I don't know.
Is there video of this dog nip?
Maybe he was a secret service agent.
Exactly, exactly.
But I don't know, his dad's like a super cop, right?
But like, I don't know, when my daughter and her mom moved with the dog, when they moved, he got out and he like, when they went to work, he got out and he ran to my old job and just kicked it on the patio.
That rocks.
Like, such a wild thing to do.
He just kicked it on the patio.
And people were just like, oh no, that's Tony's dog.
And I got a phone call and they were like, hey, your dog's over here.
And I was like, oh, that's cool.
But yeah, dogs have anxiety, man.
Like, fuck off.
Last couple things in this opinion article that are very worth reading.
Very good news that you want to read.
The First Lady has already made excuses for the dogs.
Oh, she would though.
She would.
They have to take... I bet she was like, listen, I'm a doctor and I know that my dogs are good because I'm a doctor of dogs.
And I'm over here like, bitch, you're not a doctor of dogs.
You're a doctor of astrology.
Right?
Yeah.
You know?
You don't know the first thing about being a goddamn veterinarian.
But you're gonna make me call you doctor anyway, even though your doctorate is just about menstrual cycles.
You're a dentist.
Calm down.
The first lady has already made excuses for the dogs quote They have to take the elevator.
They're not used to sorry.
I should be like They have to take the elevator They're not used to that and they have to go out on the South Lawn with lots of people watching them So that's what I've been obsessed with getting everybody settled and calm She said last month on the Kelly Clarkson show Oh, so this is old news.
They should have been known.
They should have been catering to these dogs.
Why are they... Oh, honestly?
I'm gonna boycott the Secret Service.
The First Lady has already made excuses for the dogs biting the Secret Service agent months ago.
This shit is so bad.
They were getting out ahead of it.
This is such fucking yellow journalism.
Journalism.
It's still journalism though, it's just yellow.
So just like that, the dogs are really fine.
They haven't been banished and there's no problem at all.
Don't look to the mainstream media to ask any questions about the evolving tale.
They'll be too busy smooching the president's backside to notice.
I love it.
Smooching the president's dog's backside.
They're not going to get to the bottom of Doggate.
They're not going to do the digging to find out what's really going on when the dog bit the guy.
I mean, there's rumors, there's rumors that someone from the Biden family yelled out a word in German right before this happened.
So KG Tillery says his dog is a Republican.
No, no.
So not Democrats.
The dog was not a Democrat.
Just like those bees that attacked the Muslims three years ago, the dog was a Republican.
Go dog!
We love the dog!
We love the dog.
You are my hero, doggie.
You attacked the bad Secret Service agent because that Secret Service agent was protecting Communist Nazis in the White House.
Yeah.
You were my hero, doggy.
All the real ones bowed out.
I love you.
I love you, dog.
These people are basically scabs.
Like, all the real ones are no longer Secret Service agents.
Yeah.
You couldn't do it anymore.
How could you?
They work for Blackwater now.
Oh, I'm just following orders.
Yeah.
Richarda?
Ricarda?
Moran?
Grumet?
This is again a case of me not looking at the name when I get the comment.
Just leave it until the end.
I like that you get some surprise here too still.
It's good.
The name I'm not fucking around is Richard with an A at the end.
So it's Richarda Moran Grumet.
Uh huh.
Grumet.
Grimay?
Maybe?
Maybe you'll give him Grimay?
No, it's like two M's and two T's.
So it's not Lume.
You gotta punch the T there.
You gotta punch both of them.
It's not like Lume is like one M and one T. It's two of them.
You gotta hit them both hard.
Two T's is rare.
That's aggressive.
that's for sure grummet richarda just poets richarda moran grummet maybe he should get a fish for a pet comma comma Not a bad idea.
Because, wait till you hear why, because his stories sound fishy to me.
Dude, it was fine.
It was fine.
The joke was good.
It was like, you could have been just like, because it's not a dog, that would have been better.
You just, you killed it.
Seriously, comma, space, space, I thought rescue dogs had to be officially certified?
What?
And I was like, what?
What are you talking- I was kind of like, huh?
Right here?
So since when- It's like StockX, but for dogs.
So since when do you find a well-trained rescue dog at a shelter?
And if it is a rescue dog, why does he need one?
And this is where- What are you- Why do you- What?
This is where I figured out they think the phrase rescue dog means like a- like a fi- like a- like a paw patrol dog.
Oh!
Yeah!
They think it's like a search-and-rescue trained, bomb-sniffing, corpse-sniffing dog.
It's like a service dog.
It's helping him out, but in a more tactical way.
He needs it because the pineal gland is located in a very specific part of the brain.
You want to go blending up a whole brain and drinking it just for like, you know, a couple, a couple, what do you call it?
Like milliliters of adrenochrome?
Yeah.
You need to find exactly where that baby is in the human brain.
Not only that, but a dog will let you know how ripe and how full it is.
It'll let you know when it's peak.
So I love that.
I love that this person saw a rescue dog.
Biden has a rescue dog and they're like, he's planning something with this rescue dog.
This seems fishy to me.
You should get a fish, because this rescue dog story doesn't add up.
And if it is a rescue dog, why does he need one, period, and where are all the animal activists not demanding that the dogs be put to sleep for biting someone, period, space, space, space.
Yeah, if that was a Neanderthals dog that bit someone, there would be demands to put him to sleep.
The story just doesn't add up.
And it's had three likes.
Three people at least were like, yeah, okay, this is a good comment.
This is a cool comment.
That got wild in the end!
That got so wild in the end!
Okay, first of all, why would animal activists ever demand for anything to be put to sleep?
Also, what do you mean by Neanderthal, my guy?
Like, I don't like that.
I don't know what that is, but I don't like it.
You're not, uh... You're not blue-pilled enough.
You're not blue or red-pilled enough to know what Neanderthal... Joe Biden...
Called, like, Texas Governor Greg Abbott a Neanderthal for getting rid of the mask mandate.
And they're embracing Neanderthal now?
No, they're trying to, yeah, they're trying to wear it as a badge.
Like, they're trying to fucking cut the word Neanderthal into the shape of a yellow star and wear it onto their chest.
It's like fucking, um, uh, uh, uh, what, what did, what did they call them?
Um, what are the... Don't say that.
There's a, there's a lot of things that... I'm sorry.
I'm thinking, I'm specifically thinking of the war thing.
You're trying to get me canceled here.
Of what the, what the, what the, what they think the terrorists call them so they embrace it.
Infidels.
Infidel.
Yeah.
It's like infidel.
They're like wearing it like infidel.
I'm the, I'm the Neanderthal Joe Biden warned you about.
Clearly your boy needs to go to mosque soon because he is rusty.
Yeah, why aren't the animal activists that we all hate them, right?
This is another case of like, I was able to overcome my white privilege and still make something of myself.
This is another case of like... Proud of you by the way, proud of you.
of being like, you know, three degrees removed from the thing you're talking about.
So you're thinking like animal activists and in your mind, because of like your media consumption and because of like, you know, your cultural background, you think animal activists are just like bad, they're bad people.
They're like the freaks who just like make everything bad by like being naked and rubbing their pussies on like your grandson's hamburger because like that's what animals happen or what you know what I mean like it's it's just like a bad person you think animal activists so bad person so they're a person that's associated with animals who are bad why aren't they demanding that this dog be euthanized like like I'm assuming they would
Man, I wish so badly that somebody rubbed their pussy on my grandma's grandson's hamburger when he was a kid.
Okay, okay.
Alright.
That would have been wild.
We're getting into Vausch territory here.
I think we can steer away from that.
The last, I think... Oh no, this one... People are freaks, dude.
There's like two more responses that I have to fucking read.
Tracy says, I love and rescue animals, but this is a huge problem in the liberal-dominated world of animal rescue.
Rescuing aggressive dogs over sweet dogs.
I have seen rescues poor... Poor is spelled like a poor person.
I have seen rescues poor tons of money... Poor tons of money, which is it?
Poor tons of money into aggressive dogs while sweet little mutts are murdered.
Sadly, we will always have a pet overpopulation problem.
So tough calls need to be made and sadly that means euthanizing aggressive dogs.
We're not killing the right dogs folks.
Yeah.
It is not fair for all the sweet dogs that are killed just because rescues take on aggressive dogs.
Do you know what this is?
I got money on this one.
It's a pit bull thing.
I got money on this one.
This is a Pitbull thing.
I think so.
We're talking about German Shepherds though.
Yeah, but this person, they gotta be all across the board, you know?
They gotta be across the board about it.
And so if they can get the conversation started here, they can get the conversation started about Pitbulls.
Because they're very much like, no, I kill a Pitbull any chance I get.
Because they're just not worth it.
They're the bad ones.
Yeah, that's incredible.
I love the idea that like, yeah, it's fucking sick that the animal rescue, the foster, the boarding houses for animals or whatever, they're dominated by these liberals who only rescue the bad dogs.
They only rescue mean, nasty, filthy mutts like the one in the White House right now.
And it's sick.
It saddens me because they don't like the sweet dogs, folks.
They look at a dog and they say, oh, this dog's too nice.
Off to the gas chamber with you.
Why are you putting that one down?
Stop kissing me.
I'm not going to get any social credit points for rehabilitating an already nice dog.
How is this going to look on my Grindr profile?
Huh?
I only save mutts.
Oh wow, that must have been really dangerous for you to pose with that golden retriever.
Oh, I'm so turned on right now.
What if that's what they're talking about?
They're like, we gotta get rid of... We gotta get rid of, uh, of, like, labradoodles.
Well, I'm just saying, I'm turned on by, like, a guy who's, like, dominated a fucking killing machine.
Like a pitbull.
Like, I wanna flip on, you know, my gaze-only dating app and see, like, you know, my future date, like, putting his head inside of just the, like, most roided-out, square-headed pitbull's jaw.
Yeah.
But that's also because you see yourself as a bit of a pitbull.
True, yeah, short and stocky and devouring children left and right.
And tenacious.
This is the final one that I wanted to read.
DA77803 said, I would LMAO, laugh my ass off, but his ass, I would L parentheses H for his, A-A-O, if the person who was bit was a POC.
Why is that?
That's weird.
Why is that?
And then it goes, there's one more sentence.
Yep.
Yep.
We could have all kinds of fun with that.
I mean...
I wish the dog would, because you want to make fun of Joe Biden for being racist.
I wish, you know what?
I wish Joe Biden would kill all the minorities in the country so that I would look not racist compared to Joe Biden.
Yeah, in comparison to Joe Biden.
Because that's the thing though.
People love a racist dog.
That's like a thing.
They're like, oh your dog's racist.
So maybe that's what their joke is?
No, the joke is definitely like we get to make fun of the woke king, Joe Biden, who's obviously like the farthest thing from that.
Oh, it would have been, yeah, it would have been really cool if his dog was racist.
It would be like funny.
It would be ironic.
We could cancel Joe Biden's dog.
Like he's canceling our potato heads and our doctor's Seuss.
Wouldn't it be so good if, you know, Joe Biden killed a black man?
I would love that because then I could show that I wasn't racist.
Yeah.
See, I didn't vote for the guy whose dog bit a black guy.
I'm just celebrating the injury of a black person because it reflects poorly on somebody else.
That's what's happening.
No, but what it really is is like, oh man, if they were Latino, we could say they were spicy.
That'd be funny.
That's really the joke he wants to make.
Okay, so that was a bit longer than I intended for the update on the just disgusting... It was.
It was so long I have to pee.
Okay.
Okay, so moving on to the big story of the night, which is that the British are racist, I guess.
It's like news to a lot of people.
That's nuts.
And it's like, it's not just news that they are racist, it's also news that anyone would ever say that the British royal family might be racist.
Not only are we... I was bugged out.
Not only are we aghast at the thought of, you know, a prejudiced thought crossing the mind of like an inbred, you know, royal line of hereditary rulers, we're also aghast that anyone would even think that.
That somebody would You know and it's uh if you ask me I think it's a little telling that uh the first person the first black person allowed in the family was also the first one to make this sort of accusation I think I think this is true I think it kind of goes to show you what we're dealing what kind of person we're dealing with here this is true yeah it's like maybe chill maybe chill just a little bit we didn't have any problems before she came along
Exactly!
Exactly!
Like, wait, are you on choppy waters or are you making waves?
You know, ask yourself that.
Waves.
Very interesting choice of words.
I'm pretty familiar with English culture.
I know The Clash and I know the TV series Top Boy.
And it's pretty ethnic.
They're even more patriotic than us because during the Iraq War when France decided not to join, they renamed fries to chips permanently.
Yeah, that was really cool.
They never went back to it like we did.
You know, unpatriotic as we are.
Saying French fries is a lot like being a Nazi in Germany now.
You can't even talk about it.
You can't say French fries.
You'll get fined.
It's really good.
But I knew that and I knew some pretty famous soccer players who also look kind of like me.
So I'm pretty familiar with English culture and I don't understand.
This is all news to me.
I feel like she's just making stuff up.
The black people I see there are doing pretty good.
Scary Spice?
Doing pretty good.
When black football players play in England, the people in the stands give them free food.
They throw fruits at them.
They throw bananas at them.
Free tea.
People don't talk about this, but part of the video before that, he says, looks like you're cramping, and then he threw him a banana.
Honestly, black people in Britain are doing so good, they get to play American revolutionaries in film.
That's how good black British people are doing.
I do have to say, so what we're talking about is, if you don't know what we're talking about, then you are literally a better person than me.
If you don't know what we're talking about, you are the person that I strive to be.
Because as, like, as much as I cover, you know, this, like, this petty cultural, uh, grievance, you know, bullshit, I honestly wish I was not, I did not bear witness to the, uh, royal celebrity part of, uh, American culture as well as British culture.
Yeah, it's pretty brutal.
Celebrity worship's bad, politician worship's bad, and royal worship is the worst of all of it.
It's the combination of both of them, you're totally right, dude.
Yeah, it's the worst version of all of it because they don't even really do a political thing.
You know, they're just celebrities from politics.
You can't even vote for them.
You can't even, like, do the performative action of voting for them.
You just have to, like, love them because, you know, they were they were queefed out of the right loins or whatever.
But you know what you can do?
You know what you can do?
Is you can get real close with one of them and, like, you know, maybe seduce him with your exotic ways.
Use a little cumin, a little paprika.
What's she know about lemon pepper?
These are the dark arts.
These are finally Great Britain's sins coming back to haunt them.
After colonizing the entire world for spices, they themselves get colonized by the spiciest of all, which is a mixed race person.
Yep, that's right.
Well, it's because they did it all and they didn't use the spices when they brought them back.
They're just like, nope, we're good.
There's gotta be like a Hotep dude who's like struggling whether or not to like put a hit out on Meghan Markle or to like exalt her as a queen for destroying the royal family like this.
No, my favorite tweet I saw was somebody who claims to be for Black Liberation, but they were like, oh, Black Twitter ready to defame Emmanuel Merkel.
And it was the squad from Black Panther going ready to fight.
What?
What are you talking about?
This is fucking crazy.
Oh my- because like England are the OG's of racism.
Like they've been doing it since before we've been doing it.
They've been doing that shit like since for since the jump.
Yeah.
They've been doing it so long that they got rid of it before we did.
Slavery at least.
Yeah.
Not like Ray obviously.
Their shit expired.
But they were doing it so long that they were like ah we're done.
They were doing slavery for so long we're like we I think we enslaved enough people.
Honestly, this bubble's about to pop.
We can maybe bring it back later on.
They were Bender in that episode of Futurama where they go to Leela's quote home world where she meets the prince and it turns into a weird episode of Married with Children.
Leela, of course, being voiced by Peg.
And Bender's just been stealing the whole time.
And he gets to the point where he's just like, Fry, I finally think I've stolen enough.
And he has to be slapped.
He has to have some sense knocked into him.
And that's us reminding the Brits that they need to throw this harlot out.
They need to cast this harlot aside.
You need to keep doing the racism.
I don't care.
Um, I do, I do feel like I identify, uh, with, um, with, what's his, Harry?
Is that the guy?
Yeah, I think so.
Is it Prince Harry?
Yeah, Prince Harry.
Okay, I do kind of identify with Prince Harry because when I started this podcast with you, Tony, my parents were extremely disappointed in me that I was going to be doing a podcast with an American.
They're like, don't you want to get a little more worldly perspective?
They were like, really?
They kind of have a bad reputation.
Yeah, I don't know if you know this, but... Not a good look around the world.
Not a good look around the rest of the world.
They're not exactly known for their grasp of politics and worldly news, are they?
Yeah.
He's probably pretty insular, don't you think?
I don't know.
Oh, what is the, is every episode just going to be about, uh, Bakers, America's first twin kitchen?
God, are you saying spinoff about America, America's first twin kitchen, Bakers?
Yeah, maybe we can get some decent shirts made for them.
Oh God, their shirts are so, they suck.
They suck so bad.
It's unfortunate.
That hoodie's kind of hard, though.
Kind of.
What?
That hoodie's kind of hard.
Yeah, Leigh, front of the show, previous guest, posted with her hoodie.
The hoodie looks good.
The hoodie's kind of tight, yeah.
I might have to cop the hoodie.
Shout out Leigh.
So, I think, I mean, the American, like, focus On British royalty is so fucked up.
It's like, it's once again, it's like, it transcends conservative and liberal.
I think, I think there's like, it's like the pit bull thing.
Like there's freaks on both sides of the issue from both sides of the aisle, um, who just really should not, like, there's one obvious like side to be on and it is, it is like anti-queen.
Like, if I'm gonna have to opine, if I'm gonna have to weigh in on, like, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry against the crown, like, I'm sorry, like, I'm taking Meghan Markle's side.
I don't care if she's, like, a millionaire now because she married Prince Harry.
If they're talking shit about crusty, reptilian, translucent racists, I'm like, yeah, that's the side I'm on.
Yeah, it's easy.
It's pretty easy.
That's why I do love her.
I do know that she's pissing people off.
Because, let's be real, I've been Meghan Merkle a million times.
And I'm fine with it, you know?
I'm totally fine with it.
I'm fine with it, you know?
I'm totally fine with it.
It's just like, I don't know.
They suck, man.
She sucks too, but she might be grifting and that's kind of tight.
Okay, you bring up a good point.
So this is the meme that I've kind of seen going around in all political circles, including leftist ones, which is weird.
It's the meme because what we're talking about sorry we haven't like clarified I don't think what we're talking about Meghan Markle and Harry gave like an expose interview on Oprah about like the hardships the fucking you know inner inner family squabbling that they've had to deal with since Harry married Meghan since she was pregnant etc and like
There's accusations of racism, there's accusations of like you know just being a fucking asshole to her basically in general.
And people are like aghast that she would come forward with with like so publicly with these like personal issues or whatever.
The meme that I've seen is the shot of them Talking to Oprah at like Oprah's Villa or whatever the fuck it is.
And it's like, don't you just love when millionaires talk to other millionaires about how bad they have it or whatever?
Oh, fuck.
That's the meme that I've seen.
I've seen it on like every side of the spectrum.
Oh, this woman is privileged.
how dare she complain about like her in-laws hating her or whatever.
I thought, I thought like the right wing, like the food pyramid of the right wing.
One of those cornerstones is hating your in-laws.
Like I thought that that was just like, it's crucial support, a keystone of, of conservative thought.
But anyway, um, no, what I look at this as is like, okay, if you're like, you know, a normal person, you know, I don't know her background particularly.
I know she was an actress.
Uh, I don't think she was a very, like, you know, popular or successful actress.
I think her IMDB's whack.
Um, and you had the opportunity to marry a prince or a princess or whatever, and they were cool and you liked them, like, Yeah, I would probably, I would probably think about that.
I would probably consider doing that.
That would be like, you know, morally a gray area.
Marrying into a royal family that's like, you know, built on bloodshed and slavery and whatever.
But then you turn around and talk shit about them.
You turn around and say, yeah, they're racist and yeah, they're assholes.
That's like vindicating for that person.
That's like what you should do in my mind.
Yeah, because you're in.
Well, it's not even just that you're in, it's just like maybe you actually did like this person and maybe you did actually like enjoy, you know, the life that was presented to you or whatever.
I mean, I still don't think the royal family should exist, obviously.
I don't think there should be a prince or whatever.
That is wild that they're still letting that rock over there.
She, seriously, she is the best member of the royal family because she went, oh they're bad, they suck, they're freaks, like they're racist freaks, like that's good.
It's funny because I mean like, um, they don't, the thing is they don't, they already don't like anybody outside of that, right?
She's already outside of their class-wise, she's definitely outside of their race-wise, but it's like, Man, yeah, she is the closest thing we got, and like, yeah, she's still, even in her normal life, leaps and bounds, like, above me, economically and stuff like that, but she's still not this thing that is just ingrained into history that no one's questioning that's, like, allowed to exist just because they're born.
I mean, people are obviously questioning it and pissed, I'm sorry about that, but I'm saying, like, she's the best part, like you said, she's the best fucking part.
It would be like if Grimes Married Elon Musk, and then just told everybody what a piece of shit Elon Musk was.
Like I couldn't- Oh man, I fucking- I couldn't fault- I wouldn't be able to fault her for that.
I would be like, yeah, that's cool that you did that.
Like, that shit rips.
I don't- Yeah.
But she didn't, of course.
He fucking sucks, but I love him.
She'd even do that, that would be cooler.
I'm just saying, I give credit to her.
I like Meghan more than I like Grimes.
I like Meghan more than I like Grimes.
Yeah.
I like Megan Merkle more like Grimes.
Yeah, totally.
For sure.
And she was like...
Another thing is she was like, "I fucking... sometimes I didn't want to live when I was pregnant." I mean, maybe she's still pregnant.
I don't know.
But she was like, I honestly like contemplated fucking suicide while I was pregnant or like right after I had the kid.
I don't know if the kid's born yet.
I don't think the kid's born yet, but people were like, oh yeah, you got all that money, like whatever.
And it's like, Money doesn't, like, negate psychology.
Money doesn't, like, negate trauma.
People still have emotion, you know, for the... I mean, especially if you married into wealth, you haven't been trained to be a sociopath from a young age or whatever.
Like, postpartum depression, prepartum depression is, like, a documented scientific thing.
It's very real.
Like, I don't doubt for a second that a mother of any socioeconomic background could have, like, depressed thoughts, you know?
Well, not only that, but it is real.
There's all kinds of dynamics that go into this.
And I think about my own poor mother, who her own family was like, hey, you sure you want to have this kid?
He is going to be a black.
You know that, right?
Jesus Christ.
And all my grandma did was work at Sears, and my grandpa worked at the railroad.
This is the royal family.
They're for sure like, hey, so you're good with this?
You sure you're good with this?
And my grandma's like super Catholic this was like she's like I know you're gonna go to hell but like oh I mean like does your kid have to jump that high?
Like that's what she she came off.
Well that's that's another thing about this is like the reason them giving the interview to Oprah is such a big deal is because people are like oh they're gonna be killed.
There's going to be a very well-publicized car crash in two days.
No, they're literally going to be like, no, no guys, no, this is a plane crash.
This is not the same.
This is tragic.
But it's by no means coincidental because it's a plane this time.
Let me read just, I think... She can never go on a jet ski.
She can never go on a boat.
She can't ever do those things.
Let me read from this article, which I think just typifies the derangement around this topic, particularly as it relates to conservative ideology.
This is the headline from the daily wire and you're thinking, Oh, daily wire.
They already talked about this.
Just wait, just wait till you, until you hear quote, this is the headline quote, Megan will want us to believe that she is a wounded bird end quote, colon.
So that this quote is attributed to Candace Owens slams Markle slash Winfrey interview.
Quote, I'd invite you all to tune out tonight and watch something else instead.
So this was an article, god damn it, written and posted before the interview actually even happened.
And I don't know how much of this I'm going to read.
This is like a article that is covering the piece that Candace Owens wrote in, I think, the Daily Mail.
So I didn't, this was my, I have a subscription to the Daily Wire.
All right, folks, I'll just come clean right now.
I get the Daily Wire in my inbox five times a day, every day.
You're not proud of it, it's just something you have to do.
It's part of me at this point.
This was my, and I feel like they pulled all the good quotes from the Daily Mail piece that Candace Owens wrote, so this is what we're reading.
Fascinating that it was written again before the interview even came out.
Because Candace Owens, being a logical black woman, looked at Meghan Markle talking to another black woman and was like, oh this is going to be the race card.
This is going to be fake allegations of racism.
I can just sense it with my superior intellect.
She knows it because she's like, every time I gotta do this, I'm gonna bring one of my sisters on, I'm gonna try to make myself look good.
She's like, look, I got black friends too.
Like, goddammit, I forget about how much I hate Candace Owens.
I fucking hate you so goddamn much.
Candace Owens has a new...
Making a fucking show!
I'm so mad!
A new show debuting on the Daily Wire, so I think that's why this piece happened.
Every time you go to the Daily Wire now, you get a pop-up ad for Candace, which I think is the name of the new show.
I don't know, she's like co-hosting Gina Carano every day or some shit like that.
You have to have a paid subscription to see it though, so I don't know if we're ever going to see that.
But the reason I hate it is because people are talking about it like it's on NBC.
can if someone has a late night show no she doesn't shut the fuck up she's a late night show on the she has a show on the daily wire you cannot get that on your cable access TV yeah she has a show just like that one woman that one girl I don't know has a movie called you know unregulated or whatever it is about the school shooting where she kills a school shooter with a gun or something
Whatever that movie that nobody fucking would saw because you had to have a paid subscription to Daily Wire to see it.
Okay, so responding to the Fuhrer over the Oprah Winfrey interview with Great Britain's Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle, who formerly worked as an actress in Hollywood, Candace Owens stated that she knew the couple would wind up in Hollywood.
Quote, for someone who has spent a lifetime trying to, quote, make it, Los Angeles was always going to be the final destination, Owens wrote of Markle.
And again, it's like... What the fuck does Owens think she's doing in her life?
Yeah, isn't that the conservative ethos, trying to make it, trying to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and... Does she think she's going to end up in DC and not LA?
Owens, who recently became a mother for the first time, so this is Candace Owens, who is married to a white man, we should say.
So, they just gave birth to a baby that might look a little bit like Meghan Markle, have the same complexion of Meghan Markle.
Owens, who recently became a mother for the first time, added of the interview, due to be released Sunday night, again, not released yet, Quote, if Megan is who I believe her to be, she will not, so absently minded, stroke her burgeoning belly throughout, because there is nothing which inspires more sympathy than an expectant mother under duress.
With gentle coaxing, viewers will come to believe how difficult it was for her to come forward with, quote, her truth while carrying child.
You know what, I'll say this.
I did notice that Candace Owens was pretty quiet throughout the entire election.
Like, while she was pregnant.
Did you know?
We haven't talked about her in a minute, to be real.
She hasn't been that prevalent.
But now she had the baby again, so now she's getting back on and popping.
But she did the right thing, and she knew that she couldn't give fair and balanced assessment when she's rubbing her belly because everything she says and she rubs her belly we're gonna like believe it harder she knew she had to keep it real um right which is the exact opposite of what actually happened which was her being extremely loud on twitter being extremely racist on twitter uh for the last six months Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And also, it's very funny you bring that up because, once again, this quote is prefaced by the sentence, Owens, who recently became a mother for the first time, added of this interview.
So that preface is meant to insulate Candace Owens from criticizing an expectant mother who was harassed and basically imprisoned by her in-laws.
Her, uh, Meghan Markle's, like, passport was taken away.
Her fucking credit cards were taken away.
Like, Candace Owens is talking shit about an expectant mother, which is like, okay, fine.
You know, an expectant mother could say some rotten shit, just like Candace Owens says rotten shit or whatever.
Candace Owens is criticizing the fact that she is an expectant mother.
Not what she's saying.
She is saying, oh Megan Markle is an expectant mother so she is going to rub her belly and show us that she's an expectant mother as if that makes me care about her as a person or whatever.
Yep.
Right?
And this is prefaced in this article by Owens recently became a mother so it's okay for her to criticize a pregnant woman for being pregnant because Owens had been pregnant.
True, yeah.
And then also going to what you were just saying I forgot the fucking train of thought that I was on Candace Owens being an expectant mother Rubbing her belly, essentially, in order to criticize other expectant mothers.
Yes, yeah.
Yeah.
Literally rubbing her belly while saying like, no, and it's that thing too, what she's saying.
Doing the thing that she's accusing Meghan Markle of.
Trust me, look at me doing this.
But that validates it.
Look at, I'm doing this right now.
Are you going to tell me I'm wrong?
Yeah, cool stuff.
I love it.
And again, before Megan even says a word, and fuck, I shouldn't call her Megan because that makes it seem like I care about her or know her.
I shouldn't call her it yet!
You know what I mean?
Like before this- Just call her Meg, dude!
That's what we call her in the group chat.
Before this princess even has a chance to speak her truth to the world, Candace Owens is criticizing her.
Owens' column in the Daily Mail on Saturday was preceded by actress Chrissy Teigen, the wife of pop star John Legend and a friend of Markle's, tweeting on Friday, quote, This Meghan Markle shit is hitting too close to home for me.
These people won't stop until she miscarries.
Fucking stop it!
So, I was like... I was really on Meghan Markle's side until Chrissy Teigen weighed in.
And now I'm like... Hey, just for the record... Hey, just for the record... Only light-skinned and it makes people can laugh as hard as I did right now.
Alright?
Alright?
If you laugh as hard as I did right now, you're a racist.
You need to be fucked on your life.
You need to up your Patreon tier.
Chrissy Teigen is like, you have no idea how hard it was on my in-home midwife when I was pregnant.
My in-home midwife staff.
Um... Owens wrote that she predicted Harry and Meghan would leave their home in Canada and make their way to Los Angeles, noting that after the couple moved out of Kensington Palace and into Frogmore Cottage... Fuck, dude.
I feel like I'm... I feel like I'm transported into a fantasy realm.
Yeah, does Disney own, like, the royal family?
Vice versa?
Kensington Palace, Frogmore Cottage.
Owens turned her then-fiancé, parentheses later her husband, and asserted, quote, those two will wind up in Los Angeles.
I give it three years.
Whoa, that's crazy.
She predicted the things she said she predicted three years later.
I was... She's like the Simpsons.
She's just like the Simpsons.
I was confident that Megan, a relatively unknown B-list actress, would somehow find a route back to Los Angeles, Owen stated, because there's nothing more traditional and therefore more repugnant to a liberal than the concept of a monarchy and all of the quote broken traditions that come with it.
I mean, yeah!
There is nothing more liberal than rejecting a monarchy a continent away.
And we find it disgusting, frankly, as conservatives.
That's so wild.
This is what I'm talking about with the insane pretzel these people have to twist themselves into to continue the conservative culture war grievance grift.
There's so much stuff that is just off the table when you're trying to shape your politics in opposition to liberals that you have to resort to Complimenting the monarchy that you're famous for like rebelling against?
You just can't use certain like like uh Visuals in these these particular things like you can't do the cut you can't do like any Patriot like old-school patriotic stuff You can't say 1776 in the same breath.
You can't like you could you just gotta keep them separate, but they're all there can't use the The Susan B. Anthony flag in this article or whatever Yeah, that's what that is.
Yeah, what's it called?
I don't know, but it seems to me Anthony's like the suffragette.
What?
The racist suffragette.
You're talking about the other racist white woman who did black people dirty.
There's so many of them, Tony.
What am I supposed to keep them straight?
Betsy Ross.
I mean, yeah.
Betsy Ross.
Betsy Ross.
Yeah, there you go.
Well, in history we won't tell you, Betsy Ross looked more like Ricky Ross.
Sorry!
That's gonna be a mural somewhere dude.
Somebody's gonna do a Betsy Ross mural like that.
It's Rick Ross sewing the American flag!
That's gonna be a fucking mural and it's gonna be used to like promote a centrist candidate in Indiana.
Man, if Patrice and all them hear about this and they use this, I'm going to be so mad.
I'm going to be so mad.
This is going to be next year's fucking BLM Martin Luther King Jr.
post.
I'm going to be so furious.
Uh, it's gonna be, yeah, it's gonna be Rick Ross, but his face tattoo's gonna say like, we the people or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um, I was, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Cause there's nothing more traditional and therefore more repugnant to a liberal than the concept of a monarchy.
So it's like, it's, it feel like you can trace this backward, like,
the whole uh antebellum south was like a cultural uh battleground for the conservative right wing like oh you can't have a fucking dinner party staffed entirely by black people and waistcoats and white gloves anymore because that's racist or whatever and it's like so now you got to work backwards and be like oh yeah i guess uh
Liberals are just uprooting all of our traditions like hereditary monarchies and taxation without representation, which dates back to the fucking 1500s!
That shit's old as fuck!
Are you kidding me?
This goes back further than the Constitution!
Um, if peace and quiet were really the Sussex's goal, then the woods and lakes of Canada were perfect, Owens surmised.
Shut the fuck up.
But Canada is not Hollywood, and for someone who has spent a lifetime trying to, quote, make it, Los Angeles was always going to be the final destination.
Mingling amongst A-list actors and calling A-list actresses her best friends, that was the sort of dream she recognized.
And what better companion to have by her side than a genuine prince helping secure admission to the sort of social circle that she's unlikely to have entered through her own talent alone!
I mean, the only way you can go up from, like, Hollywood royalty is actual royalty.
But she didn't earn the British royalty, Tony.
She didn't use any of her talent.
You're right.
She wasn't, like, she didn't do an internship.
She didn't do, like, a scholarship program to get into the hereditary monarchy.
She just, she, she, uh, frankly, she did a Kamala Harris to get in there.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
By a Kamala Harris, you mean like being a mixed woman who gets a position of power?
Yeah.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm just assuming there's prostitution involved when I hear that story.
Hey, hey, you know, safe bet.
Uh, Megan never cared to be a royal, oh Owens and Opint.
The purpose is to justify- she was too- she wasn't good enough.
She was too good to be a member of the royal family that once again we overthrew.
300 years ago.
The purpose is to justify the amount of publicity she and Harry will pursue on a go-forward basis.
That's a go-forward basis.
Yeah, that's a bad... I don't like that turn of phrase at all.
Meghan will want us to believe that she is a wounded bird just finding her voice.
Hollywood types will praise her and Harry as brave and inspiring for having the courage to speak out against such a powerful institution.
People will come to understand that Meghan and Harry are pursuing a Hollywood existence, not because she had planned for them to do so all along, but because women, black women in particular, need to find their voice in this important historical movement.
Quote, isn't it hierarchy that Hollywood types hate?
In fact, there is little more monarchical style.
In fact, there is little more monarchical in style than hiding yourself within an 11, uh, what's the quid?
What's the dollars in Britain?
Pounds?
Yeah, 11 million pound mansion in California while appealing to the public for love.
Very interesting.
Yet, Megan continues to cast herself before the world in the leading role of a victim series against the media, the firm, her sister, her father, and now the United Kingdom.
If you are as exhausted as I am with these perpetually underwhelming performances, then I invite you all to tune out tonight and watch something else instead.
So again, this is before it even happened.
Great that she's criticizing Hollywood for being the actual monarchical lifestyle.
As opposed to the royal family in Great Britain.
Yeah.
The actual, actual... What is the fucking... Not only is this like a total rejection or a total dissonance with the last eight years of conservative culture, this is, on top of that,
Saying that Hollywood is monarchical and therefore we should hate it because she rejected the monarchy to go there?
What?
Oh man, it's real mucky.
This is insane.
This is like, this is grasping for straws and only finding silly straws in my opinion.
I mean, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt.
I mean, this is fucking incredibly wacky.
Isn't this rich, wealthy woman so bad because she rejected the rich, wealthy, other lifestyle to go to this rich, wealthy, what lifestyle?
No, see, you say that, but that's lacking class analysis.
Like, this is millionaires versus billionaires.
We really need to have that conversation.
I mean, it's funny because it's like capitalism versus feudalism.
Kind of what we're looking at here.
I mean, I'm not a historian or anything.
So I'm just gonna I'm gonna say that monarchy is like a vestige of feudalism and just, I don't know, whatever, you know, fucking own land and made people work on it for him or whatever.
They're arguing for feudalism because capitalism is evil.
Because the capitalism of Hollywood and California is evil in comparison to the feudalism of the monarchy.
So cool.
That's wild.
I love it.
I love it.
This is what they mean by... They don't mean like make America great again.
They mean like make just...
The world go back to that before America?
This is like, I mean, a lot of these libertarians, these capitalists, these conservatives who are like reverting to libertarianism and then eventually reverting to fucking monarchism, like the Liberty Hangout.
website with Caitlin Bennett and her uh her husband uh who are I think literally monarchists.
I think they're like legitimately like religious monarchists.
Like they do not believe in women's rights to vote.
They do not believe in democracy.
They do not believe in representative rule at all.
They believe in like the divine right of kings and it's like Yeah, it makes sense that these... They're like, they're the OG, they're like real tradwives.
Like, legit tradwives.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, you have to be this freaky to like make a name for yourself.
I mean, it's, it's...
If people didn't just knee-jerk hate Meghan Markle for being a mixed-race American woman that Harry married, I feel like this argument would be viewed as insane as it actually is.
But because so many people already hate her, they're just like, oh yeah, totally, she's a Jew, I guess.
She's a Hollywood Jew who's sullying the monarchy.
I've never seen Meghan Markle's foreskin.
It's because it doesn't exist anymore.
Exactly!
Okay, I don't know.
I had other stuff.
I mean...
Piers Morgan quit his job because he got criticism for calling Meghan Markle a liar or something.
And then they called it cancel culture.
Him quitting his job.
These people are fucking cowards.
He literally quit his job and people are like, wow, he's so brave for quitting his job in the face of criticism.
He's a fucking pussy!
I wish more people would do that.
Yeah.
He sucks.
He would have won.
He would have been fine.
Like, what the fuck are you doing, my guy?
He's gonna come back.
He'll be back.
Anyway, okay.
That's the episode.
Thanks so much for listening, folks.
We ran long on this episode.
I think it was a fun one.
We talked a lot about Geezer on this episode.
I think that was worth it.
I think it was valid to do that.
So we had to bump the third topic that we're gonna talk about, which I promise is so fucking good.
It's been bumped a couple times, but only because it's, like, timeless.
Yeah, it's worth giving the time for.
But thank you for listening, thank you for supporting the show.
Anything else to add, Tony?
Nah, nah, thank you.
Appreciate you all.
Like, honestly, best squad.
Like, best squad.
Everyone, everybody fucking rules.
Everyone who we interact with and I get to see all the time on the internet.
Love y'all.
Fucking best squad.
Commandos over everything.
That's right.
I agree wholeheartedly.
I go through the Minion Death Commandos page just on its own like a couple times a week just to see everything I've missed because there's a lot of people in the in the group now and so like some posts just I don't see them on my feed and it's always gold.
Everybody's posting gold in that Facebook group and we love you folks for doing so.
