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Jan. 26, 2021 - Minion Death Cult

01:30:56

Muggle Death Cult (9-1-1: Lone Star)

This week, in honor of Joe Biden's America, we cover the most liberal show in existence. Support the show and get a bonus episode every week at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult

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	There was recently a tragedy in the house where one of the two bongs was broken.
	Oh no.
	So now there's one communal bong.
	I think it's really helping the solidarity in the household.
	What if Bon Ripper was actually a band about a guy who was a straight edge guy who was really strong?
	He didn't even break the box.
	He like tore them.
	Yeah.
	And people were like, no, no, no, no.
	You don't understand.
	There wasn't like a downward upward thing.
	It was like straight up, straight across.
	He would just pull them.
	He would just rip them apart.
	Yeah.
	Like a phone book.
	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today.
	So stay tuned, we're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
	It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
	Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when the... ...stoy the desert.
	Follow their environmental stuff.
	Stay tuned.
	Yeah, I'm Alexander Edward.
	I'm Tony Boswell.
	And we're Minion Death Cult.
	The world is ending.
	People who respect the troops just a little too much are responsible.
	We're documenting it.
	What's up everybody?
	Thank you so much for tuning in as always.
	How are you doing tonight, Tony?
	I'm doing pretty excellent actually.
	It's a lovely Monday.
	It was nice and cold here in Southern California.
	It seemed to have snowed in every town around me.
	I mean every town around me except for where I'm at.
	I was looking at people's stories and it would say five minutes ago and I'd show snow falling two miles away.
	And I was excited all day to see snow in the middle of the day, because we don't see that here.
	And it just never showed up.
	It went everywhere around me except for here.
	Snow sucks, dude.
	Like literally, Redlands, Yucaipa, Highland, everywhere was posting snow in the middle of the day.
	Like actual snow, not hail.
	Because we get hail.
	Yeah.
	Actual snow.
	And it just never showed up.
	You like the snow.
	I don't know, it's just rare.
	It's just so rare here.
	I don't like the snow.
	The one time I lived in snow, I almost died more than once because of it.
	Quite literally.
	Which makes you sound very soft.
	I was living in a cabin.
	It was basically a shack with a wood fire stove.
	I'm not that soft.
	Just real close.
	Um, I know why you were actually doing so well today.
	It's because you heard the news that your girl Sarah Huckabee Sanders is running for governor of Arkansas.
	It's bittersweet, you know, cause like, I'm really excited to see Shorty do what she does.
	You know, and go after it.
	But I just do not want to move to Arkansas.
	But you're gonna have to if she wins.
	Oh, I'm gonna have to.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I'm just looking forward to her continuing her father's effort of draining the swamp.
	Her father, he did a lot of work when he was the governor of Arkansas, you know, getting those political elites and those sort of like, you know, barnacles on the hull of this great democracy, getting them out of there, you know.
	But, you know, he had to retire.
	Yeah, I'm really excited to see her pick up the torch and see what she can do with it.
	I'm excited just to see her again.
	Luckily they're getting in there to finish his work.
	Yeah.
	I'm really excited to see her pick up the torch and see what she can do with it.
	I'm excited just to see her again.
	I just miss her.
	So with a new administration, we thought about the idea of changing the name of the show.
	It was suggested to us, uh, that because of the, you know, because of the Biden administration, uh, because of Having to face four years of the liberal equivalent to the sort of fawning idolatry of the Trump administration but instead put towards a different and possibly even less charismatic geriatric old man.
	We might, you know, we might do well to change the name of the show and instead of Minion Death Cult, what was suggested to us was Muggle Death Cult.
	And I don't, I don't, I don't think I can do that.
	It's not, it's not that, it's not that I don't want to do that, and I don't want, like, I'm not behind that, but it would be a bit hypocritical.
	Because, like, the thing about, like, the minions, like, we can kind of lean into it, you know?
	Like, I, there are, there are things about me that are quite minion-like, but, um, I, I've, I've been assigned a wand in the house.
	And I know that I am not, in fact, a muggle.
	What house are you?
	I didn't know you were sorted.
	I'm definitely a Hufflepuff.
	Okay, that's not what I would have picked for you, I don't think.
	Why not?
	I mean, you are a friend to all.
	You're eager to help.
	But those feel like kind of the leftover qualities for a person.
	You would think so.
	But that's because you've never been in an orgy with me.
	What happens in the orgy?
	I'm a friend to all and I'm eager to help and it really shines then.
	Those are not throwaway qualities in that scenario.
	Those are crucial qualities in those scenarios.
	Hmm.
	Yeah, I don't know how, like, being a Gryffindor, being, like, brave at heart would come in handy during an orgy.
	I don't know if there's a lot of opportunities for valorous deeds in an orgy.
	No, we all hate Gryffindors in there.
	It's really just Hufflepuffs and Slytherins.
	Okay.
	The reason I didn't want to change the name to Muggle Death Cult is because I thought it would be even more cringe than Minion Death Cult, and I think our conversation has proved exactly why that is the case.
	What's funny is in reality, I was like, I can't do those.
	I cannot possibly do like a Harry Potter type merch type thing.
	There's no way I could do that.
	And we have Minion merch with Minions on it and I like it, but I could never ever do... Imagine a fucking maroon and gold MDC scarf.
	That's what I'll hang myself with.
	What about, like, Chris Dorner saying Avada Kedavra to a pig?
	Okay, okay, maybe I could be into that.
	I like that idea of making Chris Dorner a phoenix.
	What about the Black Block waving their wand and saying, Expelliarmus at Jeff Bezos's head?
	That has to exist!
	And then he drops his bald head.
	That is for sure a thing.
	There is Harry Potter characters photoshopped into the front of a block saying exactly that.
	That exists.
	That's out there.
	I know it's there.
	Oh man.
	I bet there were posters.
	I bet there was at least one poster where, you know, like, you know, you know, Trump grabbed her by the pussy.
	Uh-huh.
	Uh-huh.
	Uh, there was probably one poster that was, like, Expelliarmus to Trump where he disarmed the pussy.
	Like, he was, he, like, had to let go.
	He had to relinquish the pussy.
	I like, yeah.
	That's what we gotta do.
	We gotta be willing to cast spells.
	On friends, even.
	Okay, so back on track here.
	Oh boy.
	Am I even recording?
	Okay, I am recording.
	I just had two windows open.
	Back on track here.
	Okay, so we have a new administration, folks.
	It's a new day in America.
	Biden has taken over.
	The adults are back in charge, folks.
	I think to celebrate that, we are going to cover the most liberal show I've ever seen in my life.
	It's incredible.
	When you said that, I was like, what does that mean?
	And then I watched it and I was like, oh, that's exactly what that means.
	It's kind of hard to describe.
	I just watched two episodes of it and there's like, Not much to talk about at the same time there's so much to talk about.
	Uh, the name of the show is Lone Star Colon 9-1-1.
	Uh, and don't let the numbers fool you, uh, they're firefighters.
	Yes, yes.
	And that is a way that I feel like they get around the, you know, Black Lives Matter slash Blue Lives Matter, you know, controversy going on right now.
	This show is about firefighters, actually.
	Even though 9-1-1 is in the name, it's about firefighters, who we can all agree are the heroes.
	It is smart.
	Like, I will say on record, I have firefighter homies that would ride for me.
	I can't say that about police officers.
	And I won't.
	But yeah, so smart move here.
	Firefighters are very progressive, as we'll see.
	This is the Austin Fire Department, so not only is it the Lone Star, you know, as in Texas, it's the weird part of Texas.
	It is Austin's Fire Department and the, I guess the main guy, the main captain guy is Rob Lowe.
	Basically, and even saying basically is charitable, he is Nearly exactly reprising his role as Chris Traker, Trayster, whatever, in Parks and Recreation.
	It's insane.
	Everything about this character, the only difference is now he fights fires.
	And it's maybe a little, um, Has a little more depth, but that's it.
	It is Chris Traker, it is his obsession with hair care products, beauty products, his sort of, I think it's called like a new male affectation, very worldly and sensitive.
	The clipped way of talking that Chris Traker does.
	Very deliberate speech patterns.
	Clipped is the way.
	That makes sense.
	It is his character 100%, which was a joke on Parks and Rec, realized as a fully fleshed New Age golem on this show.
	It's amazing because like this this character is supposed to be like the ideal man from every perspective, right?
	Supposed to be the ideal hetero cis male who takes care of all those bad parts of being a hetero cis male while also being a fucking dick swinging honcho.
	Yeah, exactly.
	There's a scene in one of the episodes where he is giving a stranger, he walks by, he's in the mall or he's in some makeup shop and there's a woman who's looking at new makeup and he just straight up like owns her.
	He's just like, you don't want that.
	Based on your complexion and based on the electrolytes in your skin or the phallic tights or whatever he says, you're gonna want this.
	And she's like, I don't think I've ever heard a man say the word phallic tight.
	Whatever the word is.
	I think we've heard many a man say phallic type.
	But I think, yeah, whatever she said, she did say that.
	And then he's like, oh, well, yeah, also I'm a firefighter.
	She's like, wow, God, if only they made people like you straight.
	Wouldn't that be great?
	And then he's like, let's go fuck right now, baby.
	Yep.
	It's insane because he's totally violating boundaries, but it's done in this way that people are like, this is cool.
	And it's funny, though, because she is cool with it for a minute because, yeah, she's like, OK, this dude doesn't want to fuck me because he's talking about facial moisturizer and exfoliants.
	And I live in America where only gay dudes do that.
	So I'm not being violated at this moment.
	Um, but she's like, shucks, I wish, I wish I could, you know, I wish you could throw me a bone, but you're a gay.
	Um, and he's like, he thinks so, but I'm just perfect.
	Yeah.
	Uh, she says, you know, I need something for the bags under my eyes.
	And he says, what, a microscope?
	The best part about that scene is the advice he gives is these spoons in the freezer, which is a great tip for the morning.
	The bags under his eyes during this scene are fucked.
	They're there.
	Yeah.
	His bags are... My man's got Goyard trunks under his eyes.
	And it's like, y'all couldn't fix this in post?
	Because he's right.
	She looks fantastic.
	And yeah, his bags under his eyes are brutal.
	Um, this show, watching this show again, it's only like, uh, two episodes, uh, that I've seen, but the way I would describe it is, uh, the most earnest parts of parks and recreation, the most earnest, like, pleading, you know, calls for sensible humanity, uh, in the workplace, uh, combined with just the coolest parts of Californication.
	Just like the most epic David Duchovny lines and you know witty sexual harassment that women love.
	It's like watching this show is like watching a show that Jack Donaghy from 30 Rock developed as a satire of like what liberals would want to see.
	Yeah, it's in the pitch montage next to, was it Milf Island?
	Like, I didn't know this many cultures existed before watching Lone Star 9-1-1.
	Like, let's run through the crew, okay?
	So it's, it's, uh, what's, what's, uh, what's Rob Lowe's character, uh, whatever his captain's name is.
	He's a transplant from New York, and so he's bringing, like, the New York metropolitan lifestyle there.
	Uh, and yeah, he, he is a straight, he is a cishet male, uh, but also he, you know, wears makeup and has cancer.
	Yes, yes.
	Two very important parts of this character.
	His son is also on the fire department squad who is openly gay and we all love him and he's incredibly attractive and his partner is also on the like Austin PD Who's also openly gay and they're just, they're together and everybody loves them.
	They ship them.
	We, we are shipping, uh, Tarlos is what they are.
	Cause, cause the boyfriend's name is Carlos and the son's name is like TTC, I think.
	And so on the Facebook page, it's just like hashtag Tarlos.
	We love Tarlos.
	We love Tarlos.
	There is a Muslim woman who has her hair up.
	There is a trans man.
	Who is played by a trans actor.
	Yeah.
	I had to look that up.
	And I was like, oh good job!
	I looked it up too, yeah.
	There is the other normal white guy.
	Oh, he's not actually normal.
	He's with a black chick.
	Yep.
	That's right.
	It has PTSD.
	Yeah.
	That particular scene where they address those two things, if I could just talk about it real fast, it's great because he's like, I don't think you're ready yet.
	And he's like, I didn't see that coming.
	And he's like, why?
	Because she's black?
	And he's like, no, because she's smarter than you.
	And I don't think you can handle that.
	You have to set up the scene.
	I have no idea what you're talking about.
	Again, I only watched two episodes of this.
	He's the Austin guy.
	He is from the crew that all got incinerated when a bad call happened and everybody died.
	And he's ready to come back to work and Rob Lowe's character's like, no you're not.
	I don't hate you, but you can't come back to work yet.
	And he's like, why?
	And then Rob Lowe meets his wife, who's a black woman.
	And by the way, I don't know if you know this, but every black woman looks the same in this show.
	They all have the same, like, not natural haircut.
	They all have the same, like, white woman haircut.
	It's a real weird thing that's happening on this entire show.
	But hey, they did a good job of representation besides the hair.
	So he meets his wife, and she's wonderful.
	She's the best.
	She's one of the best characters.
	She's the dispatcher.
	Yeah, she's the dispatcher.
	And you think she's a normal black lady, but turns out she's married to a white guy.
	Yep.
	I don't remember what color line that is.
	They have their own color.
	It's not blue, and maybe it's yellow.
	Oh, the dispatcher line?
	Purple, maybe?
	I don't know.
	That makes sense.
	But he meets, Roblo meets her, and she's like, hey, like, you know, give him a shot.
	He deserves it.
	Anyways, they meet up again, and Roblo's like, I was surprised I met your wife.
	And he's like, why?
	Because she's black?
	And he's like, Roblo's like, whoa, nah, I'm from New York, my friend.
	We don't see race.
	Uh, I just realized that she's very smart and that's the surprising part coming from a woman.
	Uh, and so, so you're with her and that's interesting.
	Uh, yeah, everything, everything is so shoved in your face.
	It's, it's great.
	You can't miss it.
	Yeah um I'm trying to remember who else there's another white guy who's just like a kind of a weenie he's like the guy who's always complaining oh there's there's the guy who's not smart who's like not the smartest that was his thing he's like he's like I can't I can't pass the the written test He's like, yeah, but you always pass the physical and you got gusto, kid.
	You got what it takes.
	We're going to put you on.
	I saw you washing the car and you cleaned the insides of the handles.
	Why'd you do that?
	No one's going to see that.
	And he's like, I know it'd be dirty.
	So that's the diversity to hire there is that he's not that bright.
	If you listened to our episode with Jesse Farrar, you probably heard us mention this show.
	I was not expecting this from this show whatsoever, because the way I was introduced to this show,
	uh with somebody I don't have their name in front of me shared uh the preview for the season two premiere the Joe Biden Joe Biden inaugural episode of uh Lone Star 9-1-1 and it was uh amazing the trailer was amazing and the episode is called Back in the Saddle uh and the trailer basically covers like the entire cold open of this episode so I'm just gonna like
	Kind of do it, try to do it, you know, play by play here for the listener.
	Feel free to jump in, Tony, if I missed anything.
	So, we open on like a military museum and everybody's wearing masks because we're all responsible, you know, responsible citizens of Texas and, you know, we love our fellow man here.
	Somebody's giving a tour through the museum when a tank is stolen out of the parking lot, basically.
	You mean like a tanker truck, right?
	You mean like something that moves liquid, right?
	There's no way they stole a tank.
	Like a military tank, right?
	No, they actually did steal it.
	I thought you watched the episode.
	I was kidding.
	I was talking about how ridiculous this show is.
	Tony was joking, everybody.
	He totally watched this episode.
	Um, we learned there's like a high-speed pursuit in this tank, uh, and we learned that the person who stole this tank is Lieutenant John Vasquez.
	Uh, and he's somebody who's been, I guess, working at the Military Museum.
	And then they find out, like, while they're en route, you know, they get the call, basically, that this is going on.
	The fire department is on top of it, for whatever reason.
	This is definitely a fire department problem.
	Yeah.
	That's an ongoing theme.
	I love that.
	They end up in the most precarious spots where it's like, and they say often times, well, we got here first.
	So they're on route to like, you know, meet up with the tank or whatever.
	And they're doing their research on their, their iPads to find out who this guy is.
	Uh, and yeah, it turns out, um, he's the, he's a Lieutenant and he's the father of a woman who was also, uh, in the military who killed herself, uh, because she was denied treatment from, uh, from the VA.
	And, The people in the car from the fire department are remarking about, like, yeah, no wonder this guy went crazy.
	Like, there hasn't been a decent military service in over a year.
	Hell, I'd want to kick some ass too, you know?
	Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
	There's Antsy.
	Gotta get out there.
	Like, I don't... I do... Do cops, like, really care?
	Are they really, like... I don't blame them.
	I think they're supposed to pretend to care.
	I think they're supposed to be like, you know, if I wasn't here, I'd be there, right?
	Um, this, uh, the headline is Soldier Takes Her, Takes Own Life After Local VA Denies Treatment.
	So then Rob Lowe is like, oh, he's gonna take the tank to the VA hospital.
	That's where he's headed.
	So they meet there and Rob Lowe has to get the hospital evacuated or whatever, but they don't have enough time.
	They're evacuating the hospital.
	I don't know, the captain, the cop, whoever his boss is, says, uh, you sure he's coming here?
	Rob Lowe says, uh, his daughter was denied care at this facility.
	And then you see the tank on the horizon, like, headed toward the building, and then Rob Lowe says, yeah, I'm pretty sure.
	My favorite part about this thing is that the headline, that does not exist in reality unfortunately.
	There is no headline saying, you know, vet kills themselves because they were not given proper treatment.
	The headline is like, this seems to be happening.
	Suicide rates are on the up and up.
	But there's no like specific like, this person died for this reason.
	Yeah.
	That doesn't exist.
	Um, and that's one of the more like, uh, unbelievable parts of this unbelievable show is that particular, like, item.
	Uh, it, it's, it's, that part was the most unbelievable part for this episode for me.
	Sure.
	And so they can't get the hospital evacuated in time.
	The tank is already there on the horizon coming towards them.
	And COVID.
	It's very full.
	It's a very full hospital because of COVID.
	Except for that's not happening in the episode either.
	I mean, there's masks, but the hospital being overflown from COVID is not an issue.
	Well, it's a VA hospital.
	So I think they're handling different shit, possibly.
	Um, yeah, so, uh, they don't have time to evacuate the whole hospital.
	The sergeant is like, we should call it.
	You know, like, we should call off, like, our people.
	Uh, we need to consider our people's safety, too.
	And then Captain Strand is Rob Lowe's name.
	Uh, he says, what about his people?
	Meaning Lieutenant Vasquez.
	Because he empathizes with this domestic terrorist so much.
	What about his people?
	And my answer to that would be like, well, she's dead.
	She killed herself.
	So that's like settled.
	That's all.
	It's not really a factor.
	That should be part of your thought process as a fireman who has to assess imminent threats.
	We can't help this one.
	Let it go.
	And then, yeah, so he says, what about his people?
	Meaning like, I'm gonna sacrifice everybody on my team because this guy's like, you know, throwing a tantrum or whatever.
	So he walks poignantly down the front steps of the VA hospital building and takes off his mask.
	And so you know he's serious.
	You know, this is like, he means it.
	He's willing to- He's saying I'm ready to die for it.
	Yeah, he's willing to remove his mask in order to take this stand.
	And then we cut to the inside of the tank where Lieutenant Vasquez says, oh no, he gets a call from the wife on his phone and he answers the phone.
	She's like, what are you doing?
	He's like, they forgot about her, our baby.
	I'm going to make them remember.
	And I love that he's like going to destroy the VA hospital for like not helping her.
	Like, if you didn't help her, you're never gonna help anyone again, alright?
	We're gonna make sure that everyone goes down with us.
	And that's the same, that's a very misguided thing Americans do, where it's like, you should have just driven that tank to, like, to your local representative's house.
	Instead of the hospital.
	Yeah.
	But yeah, you know, that's, that's, that's the misguided thing we do all the time.
	Well, I mean, maybe it's pertinent to note that like, there's, there's a few different, uh, real life cases of stuff like this happening.
	Uh, one of which is, uh, the, of course, infamous killdozer case where it was a guy who was like fed up with his, his municipal government.
	He, I think he like owned a lot of business of some kind and, uh, he was having, uh, legal issues with the town, with the city.
	And so eventually he, uh, manufactured or found or did, uh, like, operating.
	augmentations to a pre-existing bulldozer some combination of the few yeah and uh demolished his town demolished like city hall and shit like that and it's like maybe not in service of what he was going for but uh you know we can all empathize with that i guess i don't think i would destroy a hospital that's brutal Yeah.
	I don't think, cause like, I mean, I think probably a big, big problem with the VA is like, you know, a lack of funding and a lack of proper facilities.
	And, you know, uh, I think it would destroy one of, one of their few facilities to get back at them.
	I respect it though.
	At some, some point, cause it's so, you're so brave.
	Cause like the thing about a VA hospital is you have to be a vet to be there.
	So like, that's one of the most well-protected like buildings in the area.
	Yeah, protected by Rob Lowe.
	No, it's just full of vets.
	And vets are ready to go.
	That's a good point.
	So, yeah, he's on the phone with his wife and she's like, these people want to help us.
	And he's like, what people?
	LoneStar911, baby, that's who.
	And then Dispatch, she says, Hi John, I have a friend on the line.
	He'd like to say something to you.
	And then it's Rob Lowe.
	He's just, I guess, he's a friend, right?
	Automatically.
	A friend to all.
	A real Hufflepuff.
	And Rob Lowe says, I want to say how sorry I am for your loss.
	And again, the tank is just like headed towards the VA hospital.
	And Rob Lowe says, I want to say how sorry I am for your loss.
	I understand you want to blame the government for what happened to your daughter, for denying her sacrifice.
	How painful that feels.
	And then he's still driving the tank at him, and he says, You have no idea how that feels!
	And then Rob Lowe says, and this is what was in the trailer, Oh, but I do.
	See, on 9-11, it was the one day this country swore it would never forget.
	And it did.
	And it did.
	And he just goes on about how, uh, yeah, if you, if you survived that, if you survived 9-11, then you know, like, the pain of losing first responders and the government refused to help them because it was too expensive, etc, etc.
	And then he goes, so yeah, I do know how it feels.
	And again, it's like that Non-joke, it's it's like but it's I don't know meant to be an own in in this it's the same as like Seeing the tank come up.
	Yeah, I'm sure the tanks headed this way.
	Why don't you cock your head to the right a little bit there, buddy, you know Except he's like owning the guy who's doing a terrorist attack on the VA Hospital So real quick real quick little backstory on the Rob Lowe character Rob Lowe got his fame by rebuilding The fire department that lost the most people in 9-11.
	And that's what he's known for.
	You're saying the character.
	The character, yeah.
	Not Rob Lowe.
	And that's why they picked him.
	So he, like, rebuilt this firehouse in Manhattan after 9-11.
	After, like, the chief died, everyone died, because everyone died 9-11.
	Remember?
	Everybody did.
	And so they figured, this guy can do this in Manhattan.
	We'll bring him to Austin, where they got blown up too in the freak accident.
	And Rob Lowe, in the first five minutes of the show, Rob Lowe gets to be like, 9-11, 9-11, 9-11 happened, 9-11.
	9-11, 9-11.
	9-11 happened in 9-11.
	And at that time, I knew I had to rise above, and I had to come to, I had to show up because of 9-11.
	And 9-11 will always 9-11.
	And he has a little, like, meteorite that he keeps on his desk, and the Austin guy who's trying to hire him is like, what's this rock here that's on an actual pedestal?
	It's on, like, a little, like, pedestal.
	He's like, that's melted steel.
	Ha, ha, ha, ha.
	That's Melted Steel from 9-11.
	Take that, conspiracy theorists.
	I saw it melt myself.
	Because the guy's like, he's like, what's this dumb shit?
	And Rob Lowe's like, what's that gay-ass rock on your desk?
	He's basically like, that gay rock is actually your freedom.
	And so don't forget that gay rock, because that gay rock is the reason we're able to say prayers in school today.
	That's the thing is when I was watching this preview I was like this is incredible he's like evoking 9-11 to own the father of a dead vet.
	His character is 9-11.
	And I was like how is like this this show looks fucking incredible and then watching it and seeing that how how like liberal progressive multicultural uh sort of show it is I was like Well, this makes even more sense.
	Yeah.
	Makes even more sense because this is like, you know, this is liberals virtue signaling that they love the troops even more than Republicans do.
	This is, this is like Jon Stewart making his biggest like political stunt, you know, first health care for the first responders, which is of course like, I think an absolutely like a great thing that needs to be done, but I mean There's a lot of talking.
	There's there's a lot of like politics going on there Also, I was waiting for Rob Lowe to be like listen your daughter didn't die in vain your daughter died as a Fallout from combat is what we're gonna call this.
	Yeah, so that I can hire a trans black man That's why your daughter died for our freedom You're waiting for that moment.
	Unfortunately, they don't bring it like they should have.
	It's too bad it was a suicide though, so she is going to hell.
	While she was on earth, she did great things for the Imperial War Machine overseas.
	True.
	Yeah, so he gives him this whole spiel.
	Like, yeah, I've seen way more people die than you did.
	Oh, you only saw one daughter die.
	Cool.
	I saw the nation's children die.
	You know?
	Um, and... I can't remember how it ends.
	Oh, so what happens is while he's on the phone with him, the other firefighters and cops march down the steps of the VA building behind him, including his own son, who puts his hand on his shoulder.
	We're with you.
	We're with you.
	It's standing in front of this building.
	And he tells the guy over the phone, he says, you see all these heroes behind me?
	All these men and women, we're not moving.
	And so if you want to keep coming, if you want to kill all these heroes to honor your daughter, maybe consider how your daughter would feel about that.
	About killing all of us heroes.
	Yep.
	And he stops just in time so that the tank's turret Like the, the cannon on the tank hits Rob Lowe in the face.
	Like not fast, but it like slows down and then bumps Rob Lowe's head.
	And it's like, it's, it's literally doing like a face boop to him.
	Yeah.
	It's like a cartoon.
	It's like a cartoon.
	It's just like the roadrunner, like the coyote going to the roadrunner with a tank and like looking barrel down.
	You can still move your head and make your point, Rob.
	Like it's okay.
	No, he got booped.
	He booped the snoot of an M1A1 Abrams tank, dude.
	This is like, it's so cute.
	It's so good.
	You can kind of hear it when it happens.
	But I love, again, like, this idea of we're all gonna stand here, and if you hit the VA, like, you're gonna hit us, or whatever.
	And maybe he was bluffing.
	I don't think he was bluffing.
	And I would say, get out of the fucking way, dude.
	Like, if you love these heroes and first responders so much, maybe their lives...
	are more valuable than like the front, you know, facade of this, uh, of this hospital, but it's, it's sort of encapsulates like the liberal mindset, which is like, we're just going to stand here and get run over because it's the right thing to do.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	We're going to let like the adversary in this situation completely demolish us because won't he look foolish when he does it?
	Yep.
	Won't he look bad?
	Imagine how his dead daughter who doesn't exist anymore is going to feel about him once he does this.
	Yep.
	It's great that a hospital was the thing they were protecting for this because it really kind of brings that whole metaphor full circle.
	circle.
	And they're really willing to let us die so that they can make their little point.
	And also, like you said, they could just move They've evacuated most of the hospital.
	Yeah.
	They could probably avoid any casualties if they need to.
	You could just move.
	This is just like... This is a bad idea, is what it is.
	You know what it reminded me of?
	It reminded me of in Toy Story 3, where all the toys are going into the furnace and they have nothing else to do but link hands and cry together.
	So you're saying you cried when you saw this scene?
	I'm saying I saw multiple people cry on the two episodes I watched of Reno 911 or whatever the name is.
	A lot of crying.
	A lot of crying.
	I thought that I could have watched it because I needed to watch the Studs episode.
	Penny watches some adult content with her mom.
	They watch Scrubs.
	Not Scrubs, sorry.
	They watch Grey's Anatomy and The Office and stuff.
	So I was like, okay, I guess you can watch one episode of this with me because I've got to watch it before we record tonight.
	And her response was, There's like a lot of crying and a lot of kissing, so it's kind of like The Office.
	But there's some doctoring too, so it's like Grey's Anatomy.
	Okay, yeah.
	And then as they're like celebrating Rob Lowe successfully thwarting this attack, because again, they just like, the guy just stops.
	Yeah.
	And they're like, okay, get out.
	And he's like, okay, I'm out.
	Don't shoot me.
	And Rob Lowe's like, well, that's that.
	I mean, in reality, I think in San Diego, a military veteran did actually hijack a tank because of some sort of discrepancy at the VA, and the cops shot them to death.
	No doubt.
	That was the biggest glaring omittance from this was that tanks don't move that fast.
	So by the time he would have arrived at the hospital, there would have been a lot more than what was there.
	There would have been a lot more than what was there.
	Most local PDs now have a tank of sorts themselves.
	That would have been there.
	There would have been so much police enforcement.
	And like you said, there would have been no time for this.
	This is a very fantastical depiction of what would happen.
	But they gotta do this because this is the dream world where this is how we handle things.
	The last thing I'll mention about this episode, because again, that's just the cold open.
	The second part of this story is they have a new captain who she's like replacing Liv Tyler's character, who we'll talk about in the next episode that we're going to talk about.
	Um, and she's taking over and the first case they have with her is a, uh, what's it?
	Roller derby gone amok.
	It's a roller derby where it's so intense that like the girls end up breaking a piece of the wooden rink or floor or whatever it's called so that there's a jagged piece of wood sticking up and another girl just falls on it.
	Gets impaled on it and she like breaks her arm super hard underneath it too.
	Luckily she's not a vampire.
	You're right, yeah.
	And the lead up to that before they even start the scene is so funny because they're trying to psych up the girl who's back from getting her ACL torn.
	She's like, you started this team, we need you.
	Hey, if we didn't have this team, then Margaret would have never had the courage to break up with her abusive boyfriend.
	Yeah, that's right.
	And Sally, Sally finally got the courage to ask her shitty boss for a raise.
	And it's like how like how how it's empowering all the women like they do a long thing where they're like yeah roller derby is defeating the patriarchy one woman at a time.
	They're gonna get a cease and desist from Drew Barrymore.
	And then, uh, yeah, she gets impaled on a big piece of wood.
	Yeah.
	It's pretty, it's so gnarly.
	It's, it's gruesome.
	But then there's also, like, funny, where she's, they're like, you know, stay still, and she's like, I'm not going anywhere.
	They're good at that stuff.
	Like, the quips are really good.
	Just like, like, Law and Order quips are good.
	They're good at that stuff.
	They're good at the little, like, silly ass lines.
	Um.
	I won't, I'll give them that.
	I'm gonna watch more of this show.
	It's an interesting show.
	I had fun watching.
	The interpersonal relationship stuff, I don't really care about that.
	The actual cases that they have, the calls that they get, very fun.
	Very fun stuff.
	The only other thing that I would mention on this episode that is important is you find out that Rob Lowe's ex-wife and the mother of his son is staying with him because of quarantine.
	Because again, this is a very... Oh, when they're all celebrating about him thwarting the terror attack, somebody like gives him a pat on the back and he's all, hey, social distancing.
	You know, and it's not like a joke.
	He doesn't say it as like a joke, like in every other workplace that would have been said as a joke.
	Because you're a firefighter who literally lives in a fucking building with, you know, 10 other people or, you know, 12 other people or whatever.
	But yeah, so because it's coronavirus, the ex-wife slash mother of his son is like staying with them.
	And I think she's the woman from House, the show House.
	Yeah.
	I think she's like the chief administrative officer from House who's always like, you know, battling House or whatever.
	They get into an argument about her using his makeup.
	Uh, and they're doing, like, a back-and-forth sort of, you know, uh, catfight?
	You know, or like, uh... Bit of a spat?
	Yeah, like, trading barbs, I guess?
	Um, uh, and then it turns out that's all just, like, a cover because they're actually fucking, like, rabbits.
	Yeah, it's all, it's all, it's all an act because they've been getting in the whole time.
	And this was extremely, like, lib to me.
	Like...
	The whole character about Rob Lowe though is like, Rob Lowe's character is like, you kind of can't be a straight female and be around Rob Lowe and like not want to fuck his brains out.
	Yeah, I mean... Even if you hate him, you're gonna want to fuck his brains out.
	That's right.
	I would simply just like...
	I don't know, not have my ex-wife living with me, or whatever, maybe.
	I'd be audacious for me to say that, because I literally lived with mine during COVID for quite some time, but also that goes, capitalist stakes were involved in that, so Rob Lowe is an idiot, is what I'm saying.
	Rob Lowe had the money to, you know, help out in different ways, then let her live with him.
	But this portrayal, like, it strikes me as, like, very simultaneously epic and edgy but wholesome.
	Yeah.
	Like, it strikes me as, like, I don't know, it seems like a weirdly, like, liberal thing to be, like, Fucking like dicking down your ex-wife in secret and like just like going to town on on her pussy.
	Like it's like a new kind of wife guy on Twitter.
	You know it's a new kind of guy who's like obsessed with his wife and this is just like an ex-wife and it's like it's got that element of being taboo because you got a divorce from her.
	But it's got that element of like, you know, wholesome traditional values because she was your wife.
	Yeah, well let me tell you something.
	There's nobody that society and culture and your friends and family want you to have sex with more than the mother of your children.
	Yeah.
	And uh, yeah, that's exactly what that was.
	This whole thing, this whole thing is like, oh, they're like doing like the right thing, kind of.
	Because, you know, they're supposed, he was only supposed to have sex with her, and now they're doing it again.
	But they have to do it like behind the son's back, and... But it doesn't matter, because it's good, because it's still happening, and like, that might lead to that.
	I know, but what I'm saying is, it has this like faux element of edginess or risque-ness, uh, like, They have this torrid love affair and it's like you just like this I mean you're just people first of all you know just do what feels right period.
	Amen.
	Yeah, he says, uh, oops, we did it again, uh, after they fucked, which is a great little piece of, uh, banter, uh, and then, yeah, I don't know, it just, it just struck me as a very, like, weird way to be cool, you know?
	Well, I mean, the thing is, they can't be on the open about it, because, like, their, their son, who, he treats like a child the entire time.
	Like, the whole reason they're in Austin is because he made him move to Austin with him.
	The dad made the son move to Austin?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	Did you watch the pilot?
	No, I watched the two episodes I told you I watched.
	Oh, the pilot's incredible.
	In the pilot, the son proposes to his boyfriend.
	The boyfriend says, no, I'm in love with my spin teacher.
	The son tries to kill himself.
	And Rob Lowe's like, I thought this wasn't happening again.
	Like I told you, you can't do this.
	You can't kill yourself.
	Also, he breaks into his son's house.
	He knocks on the door.
	Son doesn't answer.
	So he calls the whole fire department.
	He says, bring the batting ram.
	Bat the door down.
	Complete violation of privacy.
	Yes, they save his life.
	But then he's like, hey, listen, listen, son.
	You're going to make me do it right now.
	You're going to move from your life in New York.
	You're coming with me to Austin.
	He makes his son live with him and like takes him across the country.
	And then makes his son listen to him and his mother fucking through the walls.
	Yep, yep.
	This is a full-grown individual his son is and he is all up in his son's business.
	It's wild.
	So the other episode that I watched was called Studs.
	Why was it called Studs?
	Interesting title.
	Uh, this is, like, it's a fascinating episode.
	Again, I don't know how much there will be to talk about because it's... The plot points are very funny, but, like, not a lot actually happens in the various plots.
	But there's so much, like, psychology at play here that I feel like there's enough to get us by.
	So it's called...
	Studs, for several, there's like four different stories in this episode and they all revolve around like masculinity to a degree or another.
	I think the first one, the first story is the men's rights protest at the women's shelter, right Tony?
	Yes and no.
	No, the first story is the strip club.
	It opens at the Ship Club.
	That's right.
	Okay, so it's a fake opening.
	We get the normal call with like a little sound wave and the call is, Oh my god, it's so hot in here.
	Oh no, we're all burning up.
	Send help and then you see firefighters but it's like dark so you can't like see like who the actual actors are but you can tell they're firefighters and they come out and they say you know oh we heard there's there's trouble brewing or we heard there's sparks flying or whatever and yeah it's like you know it's a male strip club.
	They're playing firefighters and it's like a music video.
	It's essentially like a movie.
	It's trying to be... What's that movie?
	Magic Mike!
	It's trying to be Magic Mike, I would assume.
	Because, like, all the girls in the audience are, like, fucking flipping out.
	They're losing their minds.
	They're losing their minds.
	And it's, like, it becomes a war between two different birthday girls.
	They literally fight each other because one of the girls is standing and the other one's like, sit the fuck down, it's my birthday too.
	And then they fight.
	They actually fight.
	And then it, you know, then it cuts to the... The actual call.
	The actual firefighter showing up.
	And that lays a lot of groundwork for one of my favorites, an interesting story that happens throughout this whole thing.
	What's the bald firefighter's name again?
	Is it Michael?
	I don't remember his name.
	The black dude?
	Yeah.
	I don't remember his name.
	So one thing that happens throughout this entire thing, and it starts right here, where they like convolute being trans with being flamboyantly gay.
	Um, that happens throughout the entire episode.
	And it starts here, where he's attending to this, like, beautiful woman.
	Um, again, looks just like every other black woman in the episode.
	They all have, they all have, they all have hot comb hair.
	Every single one.
	Um, they all have the same haircut and they all wear the same outfits.
	Um, and so he's attending to her and she has glitter all over her eyes.
	Yes, she's a victim of the strip club brawl.
	Yes, and I think his name is Michael.
	I don't know why I'm going with Michael, but he's like, don't worry, I have plenty of experience with glitter.
	And that's supposed to make a nod to him being not like a typical man, because he's trans.
	And that happens throughout the episode, and it's really interesting.
	Maybe.
	It happens throughout the whole entire series.
	I didn't really catch, I mean, I'm not discounting your interpretation, so I didn't know he was trans at this point.
	Oh yeah, you definitely didn't watch the pilot.
	Yeah, I know!
	In the interview, Rob Lowe's character is trying to make Austin's fire department better, so he goes and finds people throughout the country.
	The Muslim woman is viral for being a badass, like doing badass things.
	He's literally putting together like an Avengers team of like multicultural people.
	This is incredible.
	And so at one point, so during the interview with the trans man, Rob Lowe's like, you know, why don't you want to come here?
	And he's like, well, I just like to kind of keep a low-key profile.
	I don't like to do things like this.
	This seems like a bit much.
	And Rob was like, does that have anything to do with you being a trans man?
	Which is like a wild thing to say during an interview.
	And Rob was like, that's why we want you here.
	You know what it's like to live low-key.
	You understand.
	And it's a wild thing.
	Listen, you're no different from anybody else.
	And that's why we want you specifically to move across the country to be a prop for us.
	Exactly, exactly.
	And what's funny, because the Muslim woman doesn't acknowledge that.
	She's like, wait, I don't want to just be like your poster child.
	And he's like, no, no, no, they're using his poster child.
	I am not.
	Later on that video, she's like, I've gone viral four times this month.
	I'm gonna need an agent.
	Anyways, so when I- that scene happened, it was one of the many times where they like basically convoluted being trans as being like a flamboyant gay man, which is interesting.
	See, I- okay, so the way I read that scene was he was- he was joking.
	It sounded- because he's like... I mean, I don't know how to delicately describe this character.
	Uh...
	He's like a very masculine guy.
	Yeah.
	Like he's like a bodybuilder, uh, very like, you know, passing, uh, trans man.
	Like, and when he said, oh, I have extensive knowledge of glitter, it read more to me like a joke, like an obvious joke that he was making to flirt with her.
	And she thought it was funny.
	Like she, she chuckled at that.
	If you watch the show a little bit more, the joke is that he's being honest and she's thinking, that's curious.
	Does he wear glitter?
	No!
	So then why would you think that was genuine?
	Because they do all these nods to that throughout the entire thing, including the end of this episode.
	At the end of this episode a lot of things happen and it wraps up by the son and I think his partner or at least friend taking him to like a gay dance club.
	Yeah.
	Which like at no point in this character is A very dude-bro-guy-mask-dude-bro-tough-dude.
	Yeah.
	That's not this character, except for every once in a while they do these things where they're like, well he's trans, he must also enjoy these things.
	But Tony, that's not...
	That's not the show doing that.
	That's the other characters, like... Like, this guy has never been to a gay club.
	That's what it makes it seem like.
	Like, he has never been to a gay club.
	And so I don't see him, like, being familiar with glitter unironically.
	I don't see him... Oh, I didn't catch that at all.
	I thought they made him be like, look, be comfortable here now.
	This is where you can be comfortable.
	Well, that's what the show posits is like, because like literally in that club scene, they say, keep Austin weird.
	That's what he says to him.
	The other, the son character and his boyfriend are like, here's where your home is.
	Here's where like people won't judge you, which maybe that's fair.
	I don't, I don't know.
	You know, maybe that's, That's right.
	You don't have to be a flamboyant person to enjoy a gay club.
	I think that's just a small piece of catharsis after he gets dumped by this cute girl that was flirting with him at...
	The Strip Club.
	That's a piece where they're like, here, come where nobody cares what your identity is.
	I guess I was just being a bit cynical then.
	That makes sense.
	I think the show is pretty cynical, so I think you're not wrong in that being your instinct.
	I read the glitter joke wrong.
	I read that part wrong.
	Let's move on.
	I mean, maybe you're right.
	I don't know what's wrong or right here.
	You know, we're all we're all learning stuff today.
	We're all watching Lone Star 9-1-1.
	We're all learning about different stuff, you know.
	After this, so yeah, he meets, he meets the, the girl is like very obviously into him.
	She finally gets her eyes open.
	He gets the glitter off of her eyes and she opens her eyes and she's like, oh, holy shit.
	You're, you're incredibly handsome, you know.
	And, um, Then she comes by later to give him dinner and then give him her number.
	The next scene, I believe, is the protest scene, right?
	It is a men's rights protest at a women's shelter.
	And you can't really understand why they're protesting.
	I'm sure this has happened, I guess.
	Like the, the, I don't know, most repulsive elements of the men's rights organizations have probably organized, like, trolling protests of women's shelters, you know, because they won't house men as well or whatever.
	I think that's a little, probably a little more rare than just like, you know, anti-abortion protests or whatever.
	But anyway, this is taking place at a women's shelter and the men are chanting, "masculinity is not a crime." The cops show up because the shelter is borderline being overrun.
	The fire department shows up, I should say.
	Yeah, again, the cops are not there.
	It's just the fire department's there right now.
	The fire department's doing this job right now.
	Definitely a job for the fire department.
	They show up and they're, like, trying to separate the protesters from the front of the building and the head.
	Men's rights activist, uh, is like, you know, he, he, the fire, firefighter guy, like, puts his hand out to, like, keep him back, barely touches the guy, and the guy's like, ah, he gets your hands off me, or whatever.
	And then, um, Liv Tyler, who, again, since this is season one, she's still, like, I think even Rob Lowe's boss at this point.
	Uh Rob Lowe has to yield to her um during if it's if it's a non like if it's just medical and it's not if it's just medical and it's not like emergency fire type stuff he has to yield to her and that's a big part she's like the head okay I guess I'll learn yeah she's like the head paramedic or whatever that that distinction is um and so they're walking up and they're like what is somebody says what is this and Liv Tyler says they're in cells
	It's very funny to hear Liv Tyler say that at like 45 years old, Liv Tyler, to say they're incels, which is not like what really the protest is, you know what I mean?
	Like, it's an MRA thing.
	It's men's rights.
	It's just funny.
	It's a funny buzzword to use, I guess.
	I am good with like convoluting and like lumping in men's rights activists with incels and just like just calling all men's rights activists incels also.
	There's definite overlap there but like an incel protest would be like you know shooting up a yoga studio or a juice bar or something whereas a men's rights activist or you know like what about male pregnancy centers or whatever like but but if we if we make if you make it so that the the men's rights activists are being uh painted like they don't fuck like i'm good with like that's probably something they would hate
	Okay, so yeah, she's like, uh, they're incels, Donnie.
	They don't care about sex.
	Or they care too much about sex.
	And then, yeah, dude gets hit in the face with a bottle of something, like it shatters on him, and it's pretty funny.
	The cops are of course like, you know, who threw that?
	You know, you can't do that or whatever, but like we as the audience are like, yeah, go.
	That was the point of that.
	It was done in that way to where you're totally cheering for that to happen.
	Yeah.
	Because you fucking hate this guy.
	He's like three seconds on film and you hate him already.
	And he sucks.
	And the firefighters and paramedics are trying to help him and they're like, oh he stinks.
	Yeah, he like smells like garlic.
	You know, he's gross and One of the one of the firefighters like tries to help him and he's like you reek of estrogen, bro He tells the firefighter that he's a soy boy he says you reek of estrogen Yeah, yeah.
	Which is great.
	What a good villain.
	You're soft.
	Yeah.
	You hate this guy.
	You have no remorse for anything that's going to happen.
	But he's all fucked up from getting hit in the face.
	Oh, he has like a seizure.
	He was like foaming at the mouth.
	He was like unconscious for a while.
	He was seizing up and then he wakes up, kind of.
	And yeah, that's when he's like, you probably have a vagina instead of a penis, right bro?
	Yeah.
	And they go to move him onto the stretcher and he like freaks out again because they touch him.
	And Liv Tyler's like, is there a medical condition you want to like notify us of?
	And he says he has something and what it means is it's like painful calcium deposits in his joints.
	So it's like extremely painful to Yep.
	Yep.
	Incredible.
	It's totally something a cop would say.
	Easily.
	I think it's the gay boyfriend who's the cop.
	He says, toxic inside and out.
	Yep.
	Yep.
	Incredible.
	It's totally something a cop would say.
	Easily.
	Easily.
	I love that.
	It's like somebody's got fibromyalgia and also they're an asshole.
	And you're like, well, you're problematic through and through, aren't you?
	Yeah, they're also toxic males.
	Wow, not only are your joints inflamed, but so is your masculinity.
	So they put him on a stretcher.
	Uh, they, they get him into the back of, you know, the, uh, whatever, the, the ambulance.
	And Liv Tyler is performing, you know, on him.
	I can't remember, like, he goes into shock or he's not doing well.
	And so she does the paddles thing on him.
	And all of the sudden, she's like smelling him.
	She's like, oh, it smells so bad.
	Like the garlic smell is so fucking bad.
	And then they all get lightheaded and Liv Tyler's like, put on a mask, put on an air mask.
	And then the driver of the ambulance, like also he nods off and then they flip the ambulance.
	Uh, and then we cut to later where, uh, they're responding to the ambulance flipped over and nobody can approach it because it's got like a toxic gas excreting from it.
	And basically what happened was he was on a medication for that medical condition he had, which has like a garlicky smell or something like that, and then doing the shock paddles, whatever that's called.
	I can't remember what that's called.
	Electrodes?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, we know what we're talking about.
	The shock paddle things.
	Doing those on him created, like, some sort of mustard gas?
	Yeah, it charged the chemicals inside of him, turning him from, like, sulfites to sulfates.
	That's right.
	It fucking sure did.
	Yeah, I made sulfur, like, I made gas inside of him.
	I turned him into a bomb, a chemical warfare bomb.
	Yeah, and that's what toxic masculinity is, folks.
	That character is incredible.
	Liv Tyler's character is the captain of the EMS, the head of the EMTs.
	And I don't know how it works in the rest of the country.
	I just know how EMTs work in California.
	And EMTs are one of the many people who are upset about the demographics, who are pretty upset about minimum wage being raised, right?
	Yeah, because they're paid like shit.
	Yeah, because they're paid like absolute shit.
	They're paid like absolute shit.
	They're not like... Her character is supposed to be exactly like House.
	House is a perfect example earlier.
	She's like, I should have seen this coming.
	I should have known this is what it was.
	I should know this far-fetched thing was gonna happen because I am the top expert.
	I am taking care of... I am like...
	I have this role that is so exalted, that is so important that I need to know that.
	And that sucks because that doesn't happen because these people aren't treated like shit and still expect to save your life.
	If they were to give these people the same respect that Hollywood gives them, they'd be doing pretty well.
	Well, it's like they all make like they all make 15, $20 an hour.
	And that's why they're mad.
	And I, so I get that.
	It's just, it's this, this, um, this shows like insulting in that way.
	I mean, maybe she would be paid more being like their boss, but it doesn't matter.
	Like all these EMTs are doing fucking life-saving work.
	And it's like, it's crazy when you consider what an ambulance ride costs, 15 grand.
	Yeah, where's all that money going?
	It's not going to them.
	No.
	No.
	I'd rather pay the $15,000 for an ambulance with people in it than without anybody in the back of it.
	Yeah, yeah.
	That's kind of the whole point of being in the ambulance, is there's somebody in the back of it to help you.
	Yep.
	No, not in this case, not in America.
	Yeah, so she's like down on herself because she created a man-bomb, you know?
	She like, she unwittingly, she internalized the misogyny.
	She didn't realize that she was actually a pick-me-ass bitch by amplifying this guy's toxicity and...
	Uh, that's, this is when I found out that, uh, the, the dude was trans.
	Like, because he, they're out, they're all in the gym working out, and she's like blowing up his phone.
	Oh, the girl that he met at the glitter club.
	Right, not Liv Tyler.
	The girl that he met that was way into him.
	And one of the other guys notices and he's like, damn, like she's all up on you, dude.
	Like, you know, fucking hit it up.
	Hit her up.
	And he's like nah and he like puts the phone back and goes back to working out and he's like maybe I just want to like savor that moment where you're imagining what could be versus like actually pursuing it and finding out that it's not gonna work out or whatever and I was thinking this was like him like having you know commitment issues or him like whatever and then he just comes out and says like
	Something like I'm afraid she's gonna reject me or something like that and one of the other characters is like, oh, is it because you're a trans man?
	Yeah, and I was like what?
	That's what?
	Okay, that's what this episode is about I guess and I was like I did like I looked I looked him up on on Google because I was like they better fucking have a trans actor playing this dude because Very very very passing man
	So I don't know that that goes to they go out on a date they're like flirting um they go bowling they hit it off we don't really get into this because it's the less interesting of them in my opinion I mean it's you know it's it's emotional uh He, at the end of their date, she's like, oh, the date doesn't have to end here.
	And he's like, well, there's something we haven't talked about yet.
	And then it just cuts to the next day where he's like, you know, he, he's feeling down.
	Um, the, uh, what's his name?
	Uh, TC is like doing a pretty good job of like navigating the conversation, trying to figure out what happened, trying to be there for his friend.
	Um, And then she shows up and she's like, she shows up at the fire department and she's like, hey, I feel ashamed of how I like responded to you and how I reacted to you.
	And then he's like, okay, but yeah, you still just, you want to be friends or whatever.
	And she's like, yeah, I'm not as, uh, evolved on this topic as I thought I was.
	I don't think it's something that I can let go of and then they like hug and that's that and it's kind of weird it's got a weird spot to put this actor in to be like oh you have to hug like the person who like you have you you have to make this other person feel better for rejecting you basically This whole scene was a very lib ass scene because like this scene didn't have to happen.
	They only did the scene to make her seem like not that terrible.
	Right.
	You know what that was really the whole thing because and she even says it like in this this scene like no you're like ideal you're everything i've been looking for yeah everything i've been looking for and more um except for this major part um and it's just you know i'm sorry i'm just like i'm just not that evolved and the whole thing is to make her look like
	You know, I'm not a bad person, and they're not a bad person, but the whole scene is just to kind of patch that up.
	Well, it's also to like make her service to like people who were like, it's only doing a service to people who are maybe not quite there when it comes like trans rights.
	It's for her.
	It's I mean, she says she's not a bad person in that scene, but it's also kind of like for her to admit that she is a bad person.
	Like that's why the scene is there for her to be like, I'm wrong in rejecting you.
	Like the, like because of the, because of what the, because of what the plot, well, But also to make it like, and you get why she did this too.
	But I'm saying like for the plot, the plot is trying to have it both ways.
	They're trying to say, yeah, this dude got rejected because of his identity.
	Oh, isn't it sad?
	Isn't it crushing?
	Uh, but also she's going to come in and say that she's the bad person for doing it.
	Yeah, she's going to be good about it.
	Yeah, whatever.
	Yeah.
	My favorite scene with them though is earlier in there to finally get his attention she brings him early, wait before this is the date, to get his attention she shows up with a brisket.
	She shows up with a brisket to the firehouse and she's real and he's like oh I mean thanks and she's like whoa you're not one of those vegans are ya and he's like hell nah and she's like good.
	I'm all man baby.
	You don't know these days, and I'm all about manliness.
	That's literally what she says.
	She says, you never know these days.
	It's a weird moment.
	I don't know if they're trying to joke about veganism, like have an earnest own on veganism, or if it's trying to conflate veganism with being queer.
	That's exactly what it was.
	I feel like it was like, it was a really silly, because at this point we already know, like we already, people watching the show.
	I didn't, no I didn't, I didn't.
	I watched all 15 episodes leading up to that episode, so I'm very familiar with his characters.
	No, I watched the pilot and that was all, but uh, but um, yeah.
	Doesn't he kind of look like, he kind of looks like a smushed Will Smith a little bit.
	Like a rounder, like a rounder face, like a rounder head, Will Smith.
	There's somebody else he looks way more like.
	He looks like, to me, he looks like Will Smith in Suicide Squad with the shaved head, but like his head is like smushed and like more round a little bit.
	Just like poorly rendered, yeah, totally.
	He's still handsome, I'm not saying he's not handsome, but...
	So that part was really, I had a good little laugh at that part.
	That is the joke in there.
	It's because the viewers are like, oh you're worried he's vegan?
	You don't even know.
	You don't know the half of it.
	You don't even know yet.
	He's fucking, he's ten times worse than vegan.
	He's trans.
	You're worried about him not having meat.
	Not eating meat, not not having meat.
	It's this awful joke that is right there.
	Yeah.
	But he does love the brisket.
	So we get the part where the girl at the makeup counter thinks Rob Lowe's character is gay because he knows about makeup.
	But no, he's just an enlightened male who wears makeup.
	Enlightened straight male who does that.
	So they go home.
	Yeah, she's like, why don't they make a straight model of you guys, or whatever the joke is.
	And he's like, oh yeah, I'm all man, baby.
	And then they go back to his place, and he can't get it up because the cold open to this episode, or not the cold open, but a sequence in this episode was him going to chemotherapy.
	And like one of the other patients there was warning him that he wasn't going to be able to get an erection after doing chemotherapy.
	And Rob Lowe is very defensive about this in a Rob Lowe type manner.
	And like you said, Tony, I don't know, because the euphemism, the guy's a football coach.
	The other patient is a football coach.
	And he's like, well, how do I put this?
	Sometimes it's hard to get your man to stand at attention if you catch my drift.
	Yep.
	And then I was like, not, not me, not me.
	I got a Patriot.
	I got a little Patriot down there.
	Yeah.
	My little Patriot calls his dick a Patriot.
	He's like, oh, it stands to attention.
	So it's always ready for the national anthem, which is, which is wild because like, so yeah, this scene happens, right?
	We're like, he meets this baddie, right?
	She's, she's fly.
	She's, she's, you know, even back in her eyes and everything.
	How did you get so fly?
	Even.
	Is what I would ask her.
	Is that gonna be the outro song?
	Cause that'd be incredible.
	I was going to play tragedy, but I guess we'll do Sugar How You Get So Fly.
	And what's great about this is he's like a 50-some-odd.
	He's like 55-some-odd.
	60, 70.
	Yeah, he's like, he's an older dude and he's like, no, never, never have I ever, never have I ever in my life with the prolific amounts of fucking I have done, and I have done lots of fucking, have I ever had this problem ever in my entire life.
	And it's like- Why don't you talk to those underage girls I had sex with?
	See if they had a problem with my performance.
	Is that a Rob Lowe thing?
	I think it's a Rob Lowe thing.
	It's probably a Rob Lowe thing.
	I'm not going to say it's not a Rob Lowe thing.
	Rob Lowe underage.
	Let's just see.
	Rob Lowe opens up about his infamous sex tape with 16... That's where the headline stops.
	Whoa!
	Yeah, Rob Lowe reflects on the infamous scandal that changed his life.
	It got me sober.
	Oh yeah, I forgot he had a wild time.
	It all comes full circle.
	Pablo has found a silver lining in his career threatening scandal from the late 80s.
	The film sexual encounter made during the 1988 Democratic National Convention was brought up during the 55 year old star's appearance on some XM show.
	So he's 55 in 2019.
	In 1989, the St. Elmo's fire actor faced a lawsuit from the mother of a 16.
	Is that who he is?
	Yeah.
	Fuck.
	Faced a lawsuit from the mother of a 16-year-old girl involved in the tape.
	Fuck.
	Lowe denied knowing the girl was underage.
	Fuck.
	Today, Lowe speaks about the incident with a lighthearted tone.
	The problem was, he says, I didn't make any money off of it like everybody else does now.
	I was too stupid, he said with a smile.
	Woah, what a piece of shit!
	Rob Lowe quips, if sex tape was made 20 years later, it would have helped my career.
	Wow, wow.
	So shout out Parks and Rec for Rob Lowe and Joe Biden.
	Thanks a lot for that, you motherfuckers.
	And this is from USA Today, so a reliable source.
	Lowe says he owes his life today in part to the ordeal.
	Jesus Christ.
	So yeah, so I was really, I was, you know, as a person with a penis that, you know, sometimes, you know, we all have loft days.
	And I'm not old, like Rob Lowe is.
	Like, fuck you for this narrative.
	This is not a real thing.
	There is no 60 year old, 55 year old man who's like, No.
	Because in this show, he's not doing a bit for her.
	He is genuinely concerned because he's never had an issue.
	Yeah.
	Well, he is the hyper-healthy, hyper-A-type character that we know from Parks and Rec.
	And so he's like, absolutely not.
	100%.
	Good to go.
	I run.
	I run three miles every day.
	I have everything in check.
	Sort of a personality.
	And then they get back after swearing up and down that he's not gay to this woman.
	They get back to the house or apartment or whatever.
	And he can't get it up.
	And I think he tried to get it up for three hours is what they allude to.
	That's what they imply.
	They definitely imply.
	She says, like, it's been three hours.
	Can we just go get some food?
	She's like, I'm hungry.
	He's like, oh, you got to go.
	And she's like, dude, I'm fucking hungry.
	Yeah So the last story in this In this episode in this episode is a guy is trying to get bull semen from a like bull semen warehouse, but the semen is too expensive and to inseminate you know his cows or whatever so what he does is uh what you would do when you were trying to rob a place is you start a fire
	yep conveniently enough for uh lone star 9-1-1 this guy started a fire in order to rob the bull semen warehouse so So, yeah.
	A running theme throughout this entire, like, show is it's not just fires.
	It's fires with the possibility of explosion.
	Yeah, when you can't have an explosion without fire.
	Every episode, it's not just a fire.
	It's a fire that might blow up.
	And that's starting from episode one, with the original death of the Austin crew.
	But like, it runs through it.
	Every single time there's a fire.
	It's not just a fire.
	Okay.
	It's a fire that at any second can become catastrophic.
	Okay.
	At this particular point.
	I mean, I think that's accurate.
	I think a fire could explode, you know.
	True.
	Okay.
	But it's not always like, you know, vats full of semen that can explode.
	We are at an hour and a half in recording time.
	We need to blast through the rest of this episode, right?
	I gotta talk about one more thing when it comes to the semen and the buying of it.
	This whole thing is capitalism's fault.
	The guy is trying to buy semen from his old bull that died.
	His bull is the shit.
	He sold the semen to the guy.
	Why didn't he keep the semen?
	Why are you selling off your semen, dude?
	Because you can't just store semen casually.
	He's like, I sold it for this much.
	What do you mean you can't store it?
	You gotta put it in the freezer.
	Put it in the freezer?
	You don't got a freezer?
	It's full of the dead cow.
	It's full of the dead bull that's dead now.
	And so this guy who owns the semen ranch.
	Jericho.
	Jericho's the name of the bull.
	I remember that name.
	He will not sell, the owner of the bull, he will not sell this $1,500 semen No, $15,000 semen.
	Yeah, $15,000 for $10,000.
	For $10,000.
	And the guy owned the bull.
	Fuck that guy.
	Fuck the guy who owned the semen ranch.
	Like, dude, it's his bull.
	Give it to him.
	Give him the fucking discount.
	I agree with that.
	Give him the discount!
	And this guy's like going so crazy he sets the place on fire.
	And because the bull died, what happens is the bull died and so now the price of the dead, that specific dead bull's semen has shot through the roof because it's a limited resource.
	He says it's supply and demand.
	Please Tony, can we move on to what actually happens?
	The bull's not actually dead.
	The bull is actually going through chemo and could not get it up in front of this super hot young bull.
	Sorry, go ahead.
	So the guy sets the fire to steal Jericho's bull semen uh and it ends up getting out of control and because the way this bull semen is stored it's like frozen in these canisters that look like propane tanks they start rocketing off into the air and so the uh Lone Star 9-1-1 show up and there's like missiles launching at them as as they're trying to you know assess the situation
	Not, and this is again what I'm talking about, like the plot points are funny, but like not much happens.
	It's just like them deliberating on how they're going to go in and get him.
	And I mean, the guy is like passed out, you know, he was trying to get the bull semen and when they wake him up, he's like, Jericho!
	I need Jerichos!
	Come!
	You know, and that's kind of funny.
	But other than that, there's like not a lot to talk about.
	And it's funny because, yeah, once again, the name of this episode is Studs.
	Yeah.
	So we have the male strippers at the beginning.
	Yep.
	Studs.
	We have Rob Lowe.
	Who eventually, I'll just say it right now, they go out on another date because she's a psychologist and she's telling him, hey just relax, you know, this is psychological, like men get too... She even says performative masculinity is out of style because he's like, this never happens to me or whatever.
	She says performative masculinity is, you know, that's faux pas at this point.
	He goes to the doctor to get some extreme like thing to make his dick work.
	He decides not to do it.
	So they just go out for dinner and he's like, listen, I took your advice.
	Cause again, she's like a teacher of psychology, a professor of psychology.
	I took your advice.
	You know, I just, I just fucking chilled out, bro.
	You know?
	And they're eating sushi.
	And he says, you know, like, I don't like sushi that much.
	And she says, well, close your eyes because here's a, here's a psychology tip.
	If you eliminate one of your senses, all the other senses are enhanced.
	And that's something you can only learn when you get a doctorate of psychology.
	True.
	And she feeds him sushi with his eyes closed, and he gets an erection.
	And so they go back and fuck.
	It was that unagi.
	And so he's a stud, right?
	Yeah, super stud.
	And then we get our trans guy.
	I feel bad just calling him... I think it's Michael.
	I think it's Michael.
	We're going with Michael.
	We get Michael, who's also a stud in his own right.
	And like we said at the end of this episode, TC and his boyfriend Carlos, they take him to the gay club and they're like, this is your home now.
	And they're studs.
	And then we get Jericho.
	They actually call him a stud.
	They call him a stud.
	He's like, they're like, why aren't you responding?
	You're a total stud.
	And that's like one of the taglines in the episode I really liked a lot.
	And then of course like the men's rights activists are like the anti studs and it's weird to like give the bad character like the weak sort of pathetic character also a debilitating bone disease.
	It's kind of a weird thing to do.
	Also that character dies real casually.
	Yeah.
	Tyler's like, how about you get my own crew out first because he's already dead.
	Yeah, he's gone.
	He's like hanging from the upside-down gurney.
	Yeah, like his body turned into like like it was like a I don't know, it was like a spawn.
	It was like a gag from the live-action Spawn movie or something.
	It was like his body turned into a putrid gas bag.
	It was fucking tight.
	Yeah, so this episode was called Studs.
	Thank you so much for listening to the show, by the way.
	We love you folks.
	We have no time for anything else that you're going to try to add, Tony.
	I have so much to say.
	It's going to have to wait.
	Support the show on Patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult for three bucks a month.
	You get a bonus episode every single week.
	You can follow us on social media at MinionDeathCult.
	I am at Flieldy, F-L-I-E-L-D-Y.
	Tony is at WordIsBond.
	And he now has more followers than I do because he was on Bad Faith with Breonna Joy Gray and Virgil Texas, which is completely unfair.
	But it's a good appearance.
	You should check it out.
	I believe it's on their Patreon, but they also uploaded an exclusive Tony Video to YouTube.
	Did you see that, Tony?
	You get to see my face a little bit on the YouTube.
	My mom was proud.
	I said, don't, don't listen to it.
	Just look at my face.
	Don't share with your friends.
	Just look at my face.
	I saw, uh, like three or four people in my Facebook feed sharing your video.
	It was Tony and it was Tom, right?
	Tom Sexton or was it was, uh, no, no, no, no.
	Uh, It was Terrence.
	Tony and Terrence talking about the working class opposition of the right wing.
	The far right.
	The history of the far right in this country.
	Probably won't link to it in the description of this episode because I don't want to do that.
	Y'all have Google and YouTube, you can figure it out.
	Yeah, but um... Yeah, check out Bad Faith.
	And also, we have an episode that Tony and I were on of Psychic Dolphin Garage.
	It's called Quick Hits, I think is the name.
	Quick Hits, yeah.
	Some of the most fun I've had.
	I didn't expect to have that much fun, but it was awesome.
	There's a round table, us, Kelton A few other folks including Griff Shop And JJ Demon And Alexis And Teddy I can't remember Teddy's last name But we all did monologue jokes Monologue style jokes And that's why I didn't expect to have much fun Because I didn't think I could do this That's why I didn't expect to have fun An interesting challenge.
	Not a muscle I normally work out, but it was fun to write, you know, Tonight Show-style jokes for just a little, you know, rapid-fire joke-telling session.
	I think that episode on the Psychic Dolphin Garage podcast feed is going to drop in, you know, today or tomorrow or something like that.
	It's a good podcast, you should subscribe regardless.
	And that's it, right Tony?
	It is.
	Thank you so much.
	Alright, thanks folks.
	Bye.
	Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
	She's got cherry lips, angel eyes.
	She knows exactly how to tan the lights.
	She knows exactly how to tantalize.
	She's out to get you, danger.

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